zivvis

[zivvis]

this should have been in tags but it got way too goddamn long. thank you so so much for everything you've done. the care you've put into Gore has been monumental, and journeying with him/caring about his story and what it represents has honestly changed my life & played a large part in pulling me from a years-long suicidal stint. it feels selfish to share that when it sounds like a big part of what has been so hard is ppl spouting bullshit at you and wanting more and more without consideration towards the fact that you're a person and not a machine that spits out mods, but its just to say how meaningful your work has been from the start, and how much your effort has come thru to people who interact with it. you've already given the world an unbelievable gift it was never owed, and I can't express how much it also means to see you choose to move on when it feels like the right thing for you to do. I hope you can feel at ease again sometime soon - which you'd deserve regardless of having created frankly the most important character I think many many people including me have ever played with. wishing you and your family some joy and rest. fuckin sweet welding also.

Title

Alright, it's time for a hard conversation. Everyone, I want to first thank you for all of your support since I started on this mod. It means a lot to me. I don't see a future in which I can continue working on this mod. I do all of the scripting, voice acting, etc. and to say that it is a lot of work is an understatement. Hell, the recent update that added a ton of interaction to the main quest and the factions was massive compared to most follower updates, and a lot more in depth than you get with most other mods. It took a lot out of me. Since publishing that update, I have been inundated nonstop with criticism of the mod's features, writing, character, interactions, quests, voice acting (which hurts, ngl) as well as blatantly false bug reports for vanilla engine problems, obvious mod conflicts, questions that are clearly addressed in the description that no one reads, etc. Basically, I have been pelted with negativity nonstop. I can count on one hand how many times I have even seen people talk about the new content I added, and not all of them were positive. A couple were people disliking the direction I took the mod in.

I did not make this mod to be "praised" for it, but I don't feel that I am asking too much to not be insulted constantly. I understand comparing followers should be expected, but there is one particular comparison that haunts me and has hung over this mod since the day it released. I won't pretend to be unbothered by it. The combined endless stream of negativity in the comments, bug reports, reddit, tumblr and, on the off chance someone even brings him up there, in the server has worn me down. I lost my job this year and went from making 6 figures last year to being medically retired on short notice. I am on a frightening cocktail of meds that MAY or MAY NOT even work according to the VA's finest psychiatrists, all while I am in school to restart a career in welding, working a job and raising a toddler full time. I simply do not have the energy or time to devote to working on this mod any longer while getting nothing out of it except nonstop negativity.

I am not, nor do I pretend to be over what happened last year around this time on Reddit where I was doxxed by a moderator with my full address. Although most of the people involved have "apologized" to me, it was a harrowing experience to say the least and opened my eyes to the parasocial nature of publishing something as ambitious as this. It irreparably damaged my relationships with other authors working on similar mods, which is why Gore has so few "interactions."

Moving forward I am going to lock the comments/bug reports and turn over the mod to a nexus caretaker. The discord server will be turned over to dwarvenqueen and I will be leaving shortly after. All social media accounts for the mod will be deactivated, including tumblr, twitter, reddit. The mod will remain open perms and any and all scripts, methods, etc. will be open to use. I don't care if you credit me, I will not see it. No one does as it is. Let it be known that I do not consent to:

"Extended Editions"

Revoices

Continuation of the mod into new content

I am fine with bug fixes. Please respect my wishes on this. Thank you. This post will remain up for a day or two, followed by the account's deletion.

[zivvis]

they do a little dancey dance

[zivvis]

almost hit the 18hr mark with this one. anyway, wholesome camp scene i’ve been planning to draw for… i can’t even count it on my fingers, if i’m honest

it’s likely been over a year since i installed gore and i have zero regrets about it! deeply in love ever since. i’ll cut my gushing off there, but i seriously never expected orivyn to fit so well with him. they complement each other so nicely, mostly by pure coincidence. i tried the romance quest once, and i never went back LMFKSHDKAJDJD

anyways, enjoy. i finally posted.

[zivvis]

by Keith Perelli

[zivvis]

balmora =]

[zivvis]

cursed with a legacy he doesn’t want and isn’t ready for

[zivvis]

I look forward to progressing through the quests because he empathizes with the Dragonborn's feelings.

[zivvis]

i’m alive ! exams are just eliminating my energy levels. four more, and i’ll be back to my regular schedule soon i reckon.

for the time being, have another attempt at bloodmoon art … another wip . gore , they will never make me hate drawing you

[zivvis]

"You know, sometimes I have no idea what we're doing... but I'm real glad you bring me along!"

I don't think a modded companion (let alone a companion in any game) has resonated with me the way Gore has! He feels so real to me, and has brought something so special into Skyrim! I can't rave enough about how much I ADORE him. :)

(also, this is day 1 of me trying to paint my Skyrim screenshots to become better at art)

[zivvis]

"Skyrim's glories are something to behold at times like this, when she decides to show them."

[zivvis]

Gore.

Belongs to @goredev

(edited to fix quality)

[zivvis]

Thadon the Duke of Mania

[zivvis]

What is your favourite line from Gore?

When he said "it's gorin time!" And gored all over the place. (Which I like)

But fr, "If a man hunt for Jo-Lee was pulling on one sleeve, and you were pulling on the other, I'm going with you!"

And the interludes, but I'm biased on those LOL

[zivvis]

they be judging people

[zivvis]

this was the first moment with Gore when it struck me how much he feels like a real person. yes you both climbed the tallest fucking mountain on the continent please ask your friend to wait just a second longer to see the view before their life is irrevocably changed and yours with it

also didn't realize until this how much i needed a character who was teaching themselves to love life. thanks for the reminder that it's work worth doing bud

[zivvis]

Always happy to meet another Gore enjoyer 🤝

fellow gore enjoyers meeting in the wild (the gore skyrim tag on tumblr.com)

[zivvis]

i love how later on you can tell Gore you're a vegetarian. like okay so when you asked me to hunt a fucking mammoth for you and then didn't eat a single bite of it that was why. okay. the romance in finding out your partner supports the ivory trade during date night