#funny as hell. deeply upsetting also

[arolesbianism]

I caved and made them real. Obverse me losing more and more motivation to draw as I made each of these back to back lol

[chrolloluvr]

Adam, Mammon, Alastor and Lucifer if S/O is on their period

Note: AFAB!Reader, not proofread, (should I make a story out of mammons??)

Warnings: Mentions of sex, minor degrading?, fluff 🥺, cute moments

Adam 🕊️:

He has an idea of how periods or the menstrual cycle work. In his time of being married to Eve and Lilith, he basically just let them handle it themselves. But with you, thats not how it works

When you get moody swings, he tells you that your being dramatic.

"Babe what the hell? Take a chill pill, jesus."

Please slap him across the face.

When you get cramps, he will throw you some Pepto bismol and call it a day.

If you send him to the store, he will ask you what flavor tampon you want (???), and if he can have a visual representation on what size he needs.

He tried to FaceTime you 15 times...

Had to disguise himself so nobody knew he was there.

He will offer to have sex with you, since that was what seemed to work with his other two wives

Goes out and buys you snacks, but he forgets that you're on your period so he mostly bought them for himself.

Asks Lute for advice, since he isn't a girl.

You end up with your head resting on his shoulders, while you sit in his lap. He will call you a drama queen, but he will still comfort you.

Mammon 🕸️:

He knows literally nothing about periods or the menstrual cycle.

He never really cared to learn anything about it either, since he had never taken any romantic interest in anybody until you. He considered it a waste of time.

When you have mood swings, he does not take you seriously, and he will probably baby you.

"Awhh, dont get your thong in a twist sugar. Now calm down before i have to hold your ass down-"

When cramps roll around, he will just put his hand over your lower stomach. And just, leave it there? He thinks it helps you, so don't argue with him or he will back off of you.

When you send him to the store, he asks you for your pussy size...

Will FaceTime you, and show you all of the options.

Gets stopped and asked for photos multiple times, so it takes him like an hour.

He ends up getting you Nutella, pads, and a menstrual cup, because he thought it looked funny. He even jokes about it being his next big product.

Offers to eat you out. Yes, while you are on your period. He is a freak. He does not mind getting his mouth bloody. I HC that he actually prefers when you are on your period, because he likes the metallic tase and smell it emits.

Wont let you out of his sights during this time. He will let you lay on top of him while you two watch your favorite show. And he will hand feed you the chocolate and say,

"Heres comes the choo choo train cutie 😙"

Lucifer 👑:

He knows a lot about the menstrual cycle and how it works. He was very attentive to Lilith during their marriage.

When you get moody, he will distance himself from you, not wanting to add more fuel to the fire.

"Hey honey, I just wanted to check in on you, see how you were doing, you know-"

When you have cramps, he hates seeing you in pain, so he will heat up a heating pad and rest it on your stomach.

When you send him to the store, he goes in a disguise. He will call you and ask what specific products you want.

He ends up getting you strawberries, chocolate, medicine, etc.

He treats you like you are sick. Will force you to stay in bed under his supervision.

Will also offer to eat you out. He just wants to make you feel better, and he is an expert.

He will spoon-feed you medicine, and turn on your favorite show. He will snuggle up against your chest and fall asleep.

Will ask Charlie for some advice and help. He really does care for you deeply. So he just wants to make sure you are content and satisfied.

Alastor 🦌:

Knows quite a bit about period and the menstrual cycle.

When you get moody, he will also coddle you like Mammon. Will purposely try to get you more upset. But stops after a while, since he is a gentlemen.

"My little doe, lets stop with this tantrum. Your a big girl, aren't you?

When you get cramps, he will come up behind you and trap you in a bear hug while rocking the both of you. He will do this while using his thumbs to rub your shoulders.

Instead of the store, he goes to Rosie and asks her for supplies and advice. He hates seeing you upset, so what better of a person to ask for advice from than his long time friend Rosie?

He will not want to do anything sexual with you. Not because he does not like getting bloody, (he has, and isn't afraid to.), But because he does not want to possibly hurt you.

He will try to stay near you as much as possible. He maaaay even let you touch his ears if you look up at him all nice and cute.

Tells you a story, or will turn on the radio for you to both listen to.

[inconveniently-discorporated]

My heart hurts so bad for Aziraphale because I can honestly just relate to him so, so, so much.

(not putting this one under a cut so warning season 2 ahead, I'll tag it at the bottom too)

Aziraphale says, "Nothing lasts forever," but I don't believe for a second he doesn't wish that it did.

He WANTS things to go back to how they used to be. He WANTS the seraphic Crowley squealing with joy as he cranks up the universal machine and sets the stars aflame. He WANTS there to be no sides, he WANTS to believe in the idea of the host united, he WANTS to go back before Crowley got himself in trouble by asking questions. He wants, I think, to be in that moment of creation and adoration forever.

Change seems to frighten him. There's an aspect of uncertainty. There's an element of chaos, the loss of control. I understand this deeply. And what the Metatron offered him was just that: certainty, control, the ability to dictate his own narrative.

I used to be in a toxic job. On top of it, I had intense anxiety and other undiagnosed neurodivergencies that made it even harder to fit in and understand the untold rules I was supposed to follow to get along. When I first got there, it wasn't so bad -- perhaps I was, like Aziraphale, also a bit idealistic. Then there were some changes that brought instability, significant more anxiety, and a lot of nights spent agonizing over my lack of control over it all.

My friends and significant other tried to convince me to leave, but I didn't want to. I didn't know what else was out there. I didn't know if it would be worse. I didn't know what kind of stability it would have.

Then my manager left, so that spot opened up. I had worked there for a long time, and honestly, I never saw myself going into management. I didn't think I could. I wasn't sure I even wanted to. All of that extra stress, on me? Not to mention, getting FURTHER into the job that was taking a massive toll on me? But then...

Then I would have control. Then I could run things the way *I* had always thought they should run. I wouldn't need to worry about who would replace my manager and whether my life would be a living hell -- I would make it what I wanted it to be. Upper management was really pushing for it, so I applied.

To make a long story short: I don't think it went very well. I didn't have the support I needed. I didn't have the emotional skills I needed. I think I did my best, but I'm not fond of those times. At the time, I was SURE that I wanted to move up even more, I was SURE this would make it all better. I thought this was what I REALLY wanted.

But that's not what I needed. What I needed was to get out, and eventually I did. Even as ready as I was to leave, it was absolutely agonizing. I could barely stand to handle the unknown. I was going to work together with my spouse, actually, and I was so excited for that, but I still... I still was upset and worried sick over the dramatic change that would befall my life, after I had made the decision to leave.

That's where I can relate to Aziraphale. I wonder what would've happened if, before I had actually left for good, the head honchos had come up to me and said, "We want to keep you -- how about we offer you (an even higher position)?" -- would I have said no, or would I have wanted to make a difference?

Funny, I said exactly that, too. That's almost why I didn't change jobs in the first place. I said, "But I feel like I'm really making a difference with what I'm doing now." But what pushed me over the edge was realizing that none of that mattered to them, it was all about THEIR control of ME, not the other way around.

I'm so intensely curious to see what happens with Aziraphale next, but I'm sure he will learn what Crowley understands: nothing lasts forever, and sometimes it's good that it doesn't -- even if sometimes we wish it did.

[wileys-russo]

ignorance is bliss ficlet II l.williamson x reader

my angry cinnamon roll gf’s 🤭

feel free to read the proper full fic that this is a spin off from here

ignorance is bliss ficlet II l.williamson x reader

"did she say she wasn't coming?" lia asked again with a frown as you shrugged hopelessly, just as clueless to your girlfriends absence from training as the rest of the team, leah now almost an hour late and not answering anyone's calls.

"no she was already up and getting ready when i left, she seemed fine?" you explained, having left before your girlfriend to get a coffee with lotte who had then driven the two of you to training, leahs unusual absence causing a pit of worry to form in the bottom of your stomach.

"oh thank god here she is hold on.” you breathed a sigh of relief as her contact flashed on your screen.

“may i please be excused quickly jonas? its leah." you asked softly, wincing as you interrupted the briefing and felt everyone’s eyes watching on as you hurried out of the room, accepting the call.

"leah where the hell are you? you're late and you're never late! in fact you are always on my case about making us late to things." you rambled, stepping outside and holding the phone to your ear.

"yeah uh, i sort of…ran into some car trouble on the way there." leah replied in a strange tone of voice making you frown. "car trouble? whats happened? are you alright?" you questioned quickly with growing concern, leaning against the wall behind you as your mind raced with all the worst case scenarios.

"well..." leah trailed off and you waited patiently for an answer but there wasn't one. "well? just spit it out lee, as long as you're safe we can fix whatever happened, a car is only something material babe." you assured her softly, feeling your chest tighten with nerves at her obvious hesitation to come clean.

"no no it wasn't an accident or anything I um, well I-" leah danced around her words and you felt your patience thinning, bouncing on the balls of your feet.

"isortoflostmylicensecauseigotdonespeedingagainandineedyoutocomeandpickmeup." your girlfriend word vomited so fast you couldn't make out a single word of what she was saying. "what? slower please lee." you pinched at the bridge of your nose, exhaling deeply.

"i sort of lost my license cause i got done speeding again and i need you to come and pick me up…please." leah repeated and your eyes widened as you finally understood, the silence on your side of the line causing leahs stomach to twist into knots.

"please don't be mad i know you're always onto me about it and i really think this is the thing i needed to learn my lesson but- hey are you laughing at me?" leah frowned as you doubled over, resting a hand on your knee as you were indeed laughing at the predicement.

"oi its not funny! i can't drive for three months now!" leah shouted and you could almost hear the stroppy pout which would be forming on the older girls lips.

"it is funny because i did in fact warn you of this time and time again and you never listened. i told you so!" you sung out with a grin, leah somewhat relieved you weren't upset with her but also not appreciating that your amusement was at her expense.

"too bad i wasn't there to flirt your way out of it huh?" you smiled smugly, rewarded with an annoyed huff and a half understood grumbled insult.

"sorry what was that? you're going to walk to training? wonderful i'll see you soon!" you teased, leah yelling out a hasty apology and practically begging you not hang up, something which was more than rare from your normally over confident girlfriend.

"please come get me! i'm stranded and it's really embarrassing, what if someone recognises me?" leah whined and you rolled your eyes that of course that was her biggest concern right now.

"why don't you just sit in the car then while you wait?" you sighed with a small smile, the silence on the other end telling you all you needed to know.

"oh leah....you didn't. not again!" "stop leah'ing me, you sound like my mum!" "oh i can't wait to tell your mum about this." "don't you fucking dare!"

this was not a one off occasion. leah determined to buy the most tricked out car she could had spared no expense on the bells and whistles, though one of these had time and time again meant she’d locked her keys inside the insanely posh vehicle.

"baby i warned you when you bought that stupidly expensive car that the self locking feature would bite you in the ass." "now is so not the time for an i told you so. just come and pick me up!" "come pick you up..." "right now?" "leah!" "sorry. please please please come pick me up gorgeous. i love you?"

"i'll get someone to drive me now. you know you could just get an uber leah." "what did i say about leah'ing me!" ~

"there she is." you pointed out your girlfriend with a grin as katie slowed down a little, leah sat on the curb with her hoodie pulled over her head, clearly attempting to hide herself but the glaringly obvious red and blue arsenal tracksuit did her no favors.

"she looks like that kid who runs away from home gets about five minutes down the road and calls for their parents to come pick them up!" beth laughed at your girlfriends sour expression as you pulled beside her, though you'd note that to the others in the back all pointing and teasing her.

"you had to bring a crowd?" leah grumbled, standing to her feet and crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at beth and laura in the back who were pulling faces at her.

"what’s to say other than we all just had to witness the miracle for ourselves!" katie beamed as you leaned over and whispered something quickly in her ear, the irish woman nodding subtly with a smirk.

"go on then speed demon in ya hop!" katie teased, leah reaching for the door handle as she suddenly jerked the car forward and away from her, the four of you grinning as leahs jaw tightened.

“come on leah, in we get!” laura called out much like you would encourage a dog to return to its owner, which was not lost on leah who gave the younger girl a frighteningly filthy look.

"come on woman we haven't got all day you know!" beth tapped at her wrist mocking the time as once again leah reached for the door and katie moved the car forward slightly, sending the four of you into hysterics like naughty school kids at the back of the bus.

"nah you know what fuck this! i'm walking." your girlfriend fumed, kicking at the back of katies car and storming off down the road. you were quick to unbuckle yourself, jumping out and racing off after her as the girls all called out for her to get in the car.

"baby, get in the car." you grabbed her hand, looking at her with an amused smile as the taller blonde simply glared back at you wordlessly as you wrapped yourself around her in a hug, her arms remaining stoic by her side as she refused to engage in it.

"relax the face, relax the face." you cooed sarcastically and stroked at her forehead and cheeks trying to smooth away the deep frown lines as the defender smacked your hands away but you saw a hint of a smile grace her features as you stole a quick kiss and tugged her back with you towards the car.

leahs frown deepened as she was met with slow claps and she slid in the back beside laura, flipping them all off and sinking down into her seat.

"good news mccabe. as my work wife you have now been promoted and unlocked a new daily task. driving us to training!" you grinned as the irish woman rolled her eyes playfully.

"only if you caress my thigh and hold my hand like you do with blondie darlin." katie smirked at leah through the rear view mirror as you agreed, reaching out to accept her offered hand, intertwing your digits over the middle console.

"mccabe if you'd like to ever walk again i'd suggest you not touch her, or else i may have to accidentally studs up tackle you in every single drill." leah warned seriously, katie only grinning and bringing your intertwined hands up to her mouth, kissing your knuckles as you sarcastically swooned and leah huffed.

"now now don't worry, i'm sure vivs happy to share." beth teased, holding her hand up toward leah expecting her to kiss it as the blonde simply shot her a murderous look and smacked it away.

this was going to be a long three months.

[razorblade180]

Actor AU6

Ruby:You know what’s funny about filming a movie where you’re aged up? *steps aside*

Summer:*in DC costume* Sup.

Ruby:I wonder how many people are going to notice the difference.

Summer:They’ll know it’s me when the acting improves.

Ruby:Wow!

xxxxxxx

Blake:Excuse me ma’am. Where’s the bathroom?

Yang:Oh it’s just…*flexes bicep* That way to the left.

Blake:Haha, why thank you.

Yang:There’s also one to the…*flexes tricep* right over here.

Nora:Stop it before you pull something you dork.

xxxxxx

Interviewer: So, Yang Xiao Long, fans have noticed you got a few gains for this movie.

Yang:Yep! Never again haha!

Interviewer:What? Why not.

Weiss:She was such a baby off set.

Yang:Mad respect for personal trainers and gym enthusiasts. I like to feel a burn but I missed my arms not being sore. Adam would literally be nice enough to make me oatmeal and I’d just look at sadly because I don’t want to lift the spoon.

Interviewer:Was it as painful for the rest of you?

Blake:I actually think I like protein shakes now and that’s deeply upsetting.

Weiss:I’ve always lived the gym life. They wanted more squats so I gave them more squats.

xxxxxx

Ruby:*sitting sadly*

Superman:*sits beside her* It seems you have a lot on your mind?

Ruby:A lot has changed since we last met; big changes. Atlas fell, my sister and I got into a fight, now we’re here and…Jessica keeps asking about Jaune.

Superman:*tucks lips in* Mmhmm..

Ruby:Like…damn bitch, it was adventure. Let it go.

Crew laughing in the background

Ruby:I got dozens with this guy. Get in line!

xxxxxx

Ozpin:*swinging cane*

Ruby:*getting beaten*

Jessica:*off screen*…I’m actually the director on this episode.

Ruby:*having a panic attack*

Jessica:I wish I was joking. I needed the experience.

xxxxxx

Blake:Guys, I think I know where we are.

Beautiful wide panning shot

Blake:…I think we’re in Candy Land~

Weiss:Fuck ooooffff. *covers face* That was so random! Ahaha!

Yang:Honestly falling from your world into Candy Land sounds more terrifying than a place like Wonderland.

Bloop!

Blake:I think we’re in Wonderland.

Director Roman:Ever After…

Blake:*nods*…I said that so confidently to. Holy hell…

xxxxxx

Jaune:Today I met a little girl who was a RWBY fan. She asked me if there was any way to come back stage to pet Juniper. *bites muffin* I couldn’t tell her that Juniper was a prop.

Neo:So what did you say?

Jaune:I told her I actually don’t get to see him either. Now both of our days are ruined. This job is cruel.

xxxxxx

Pyrrha:Sup guys. It’s me, here to traumatize you again. *flips camera*

Penny:I’m here for the kill assist.

Pyrrha:You think we’ll be in final episode somehow?

Penny:Oh absolutely. I signed up for the role of “Ruby’s friend” and somehow landed “ghost of the narrative” by mistake.

Pyrrha:Saaame! Funny how that works out.

xxxxxx

Weiss:Where are Blake and Yang?

Jaune:Must’ve had bigger things to work out.

Meanwhile on storming bridge

Yang:Bl- what the!?

Adam:*draws sword* THIS ONE IS FOR ALL THE MARBLES!!

Blake:Sorry! The more I tried to not of the worst situation, the harder it got!

Yang:…*looks at camera* Can we keep this?

Roman:No.

Yang:But I want another cool fight!

xxxxxx

Oscar:*getting makeup done*

Penny:Ready to die on screen?

Oscar:Yeah. I took notes from the best.

Penny:So you’ve been looking at me?

Oscar:Whenever I can.

Penny:*giggles*

Coco:Hold still and stop flirting!

xxxxxx

Jabberwok:*crumbles into Neo*

Neo:*finger guns*…..*makes Adam*

Blake:Oh my gooood!

Yang:*grinning* THIS ONE IS FOR ALL THE MARBLES!

Adam:JUST WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR! FACE MEEEEE!

Ruby:At this point you should just put him at the tea party.

Nora:You don’t even canonically know him!

Ruby:But it would be hilarious!

Weiss:What kills me is an army of Adams would probably be more effective than the Jabberwoks.

xxxxx

Ruby:*in a bat suit* This is the secret life option the blacksmith didn’t want to reveal.

Weiss:Ruby calls on quits and chooses Gotham over Remnant.

Blake:Willingly going to Gotham City is crazy. Life is not that bad.

Ruby:I don’t wanna take this off.

[anomaliex]

Fabriz post. It's really funny to me if Fabian is really attracted to Riz and Riz is just a sex repulsed king. Asexuality is a spectrum and you can put him anywhere you want on it but I just always think to myself "god it'd be funny if this guy hated sex and his absolute boyfailure of a partner is just so pathetically teenager horny next to him but truly so quiet about it out of courtesy" and I'm right idc.

This works if they're romantic lmao but to me they're so queerplatonic. And Fabian's polyam and Riz is there. Riz is aroace, Fabian is probably aro-spec but in like the opposite direction. Headcanons upon headcanons but yknow.

I've been in relationships with people who like sex and they would dare to mention it in my presence and I so viscerally remember sitting there and thinking to myself please gods you have to stop. You have to stop before all my feeble attraction to you fades. You,,,are attracted to people, barbaric (Lighthearted). Cannot begin describe the physical discomfort but it is also hilarious when I think about it. And like, Fabian would do it in front of/to Riz maybe twice, clock that it makes him uncomfortable and then make a paladin level oath to himself to never repeat it (and he catches himself in the future and just stops and everything is fine right). But that doesn't change that he thinks Riz is so hot, and Riz can absolutely tell his passive insight isn't that high for nothing, and maybe I'm just projecting this experience onto Riz because I cannot be the only one in awkward hell but it's just like yeah my boyfriend thinks I'm hot that's cool. He thinks a lot of people are hot. Does he have sex thoughts about me I hate sex. He was really staring at me before I prestidigitaion-ed away all the blood from absolutely murderising some guy. He's into me murderising people that's interesting. Now he's looking away in shame. He's so pathetic, I love him, this is deeply uncomfortable but has reaffirmed my affection, I hope this doesn't happen again. (It does). Something like that.

I mean, stuff like this is why relationships between people who are ace and people who are allo often don't work out and that's valid but with how I see Fabriz I think it's a non-issue lol. Just kinda funny. Fabian isn't like, upset about it just embarrassed. Also he dates people who aren't Riz. Love wins.

[dickgraysonisnothereforthis]

didn’t realize this was the liberal arts, part 2

Jason decides to ask you out for coffee. turns out you’re an asshole.

Part 1 is here

Back again. It’s a series, I’ve decided. This was born because I’ve already written reader as a bitch but it’s funny (see my vampire!reader series), now I want to write reader as a bitch but it’s mean. Jason’s still sad. Like I said, you’re mean.

Swearing. No use of y/n I don’t know how long this is.

————

Jason decides to scout you out. He finds nothing.

It’s extremely irritating. He would expect that there would be something, anything, to suggest that the person he sits next to in his seminar is the same one who goes out and cracks heads at night. But there’s nothing. You seem to be perfectly normal, you act in class like any other person would. Your emotions aren’t heightened, you’re never deeply angry, or deeply upset, or deeply confused. You’re not deeply anything. The most he can say is you get mildly frustrated.

Which is fair. You get frustrated when someone makes a frustrating point. He gets it.

But that’s it. You giggle quietly when someone makes a joke, you purse your lips as you consider a question, you nod when you agree with someone. Other than that, you give him nothing. It’s almost enough to make him believe he didn’t see you beating up his perp last week.

Almost. But he’ll never get the image of you scowling at him, standing over a knocked out drug dealer, out of his mind. That’s there rent free, as it were.

He studies you. Your clothes are exceedingly normal, you wear jeans and sweatshirts. Nothing noteworthy, except Jason does a double take one day because that’s definitely the sweatshirt you wore when Red Hood caught you in the act. And you’re wearing it again like it’s no big deal. At least you’ve cleaned it.

Are you a psychopath? Is this some Patrick Bateman, American Psycho shit? Maybe. It doesn’t seem like you have that many friends. Or any, really. While the other people pair off or leave class in groups, you walk out on your own. Again, fair. He’s a loner, too.

Besides, Jason doesn’t think you’re a psychopath. You weren’t coolly beating the shit out of the guy when he found you, you were furious; uncontrolled anger pushing you forward.

Heh. Been there.

Jason does a cursory search for you online, which also comes up empty. You don’t have any social media accounts, and your last name is an extremely common one that gives him no leads. He could slip into Red Hood and illegally widen his net, but that feels…invasive. The obvious place to start is to take a crack at the Gotham U servers and see if he can access your student account. That’ll get him your phone number and banking info, at the very least. But doing that to a fellow student doesn’t sit right with him. That’s not the only option; he could break into your apartment, or even snatch your phone out of your bag. He doesn’t like that, either.

Jason decides to do an experiment. He asks you out for coffee.

It’s weird. Really weird. It’d be easier if he were working undercover on a Red Hood op, then he could slip into any number of personas. But you already know him as that one dude from your lit class. And if he declares as an English major at the end of next semester, which he probably will, you might be in other classes together. He can’t slip into and out of your life on a whim, he has to do this as Jason.

That makes it a million times harder.

It is hell getting up the courage to talk to you in the first place. Maybe this should surprise him, but it doesn’t. He hasn’t talked to a normal person since before he died. Everything from that point on has been cold, cruel planning, or rebuffing the clumsy attempts of Bruce and Dick to get back in touch. The only people he talks to on the regular are the criminals he’s scaring crapless. And he sure as shit hasn’t made any friends at the university, whether that’s by his design or rough coincidence. This is his first time trying to make a friend in years.

Is that what he’s doing? Does he want to be your friend? That one confuses him. It’s the first time he’s tried to get close to anyone his age since he woke up. Definitely the first time he’s done it as Jason. Does this count as making a friend? If he’s only getting close to you because it’s easier than doing it as Red Hood?

It makes him scratch his head. That’s above his pay grade.

So, asking you out is hard. He decides to rip the bandaid off after your next class. While everyone is packing up, he clears his throat to get your attention.

You look up from your bag. When you register that it’s Jason talking to you, your eyes become guarded. It makes him lose his focus. What was that for?

“Yeah?”

“Uhh…” your gaze becomes disbelieving as he fumbles. “I’m Jason.” He winces.

“Yeah.” His face flushes. This is humiliating. Is it his imagination, or are the other students giggling at him? Is the prof looking at him in sympathy?

Oh my god. Why is this so fucking hard?

“Are you…do you want to get coffee?” He runs his hand over the back of his head. Somewhere, Dick is laughing at this, Jason’s first time asking someone on a date as a college kid.

Is he asking you on a date? His eye twitches.

You still haven’t answered, and Jason’s hoping you’ll turn him down just to put him out of his misery. He’ll leave with his tail between his legs and resigns himself to breaking into your apartment.

“Yeah, okay.”

Jason picks up his head, eyebrows shooting to his hairline. Oh. Great. Mission accomplished.

Something inside jumps at the thought of anyone wanting to spend time with him. Like a flower stretching toward the light.

He temporarily ignores it. Again, above his pay grade.

“Now?” you ask quizzically. Jason shrugs.

“Yeah, why not?” Might as well get this over with.

“Okay.” You finish packing up and follow him out of the building. When you realize he’s heading toward the student center, you frown. “There?”

“Uh, yeah.” It was the only place that had come to mind. “There’s a cafe inside.”

“Do you mind if we go somewhere off campus? This one jacks up the prices.”

Jason tries something he’s seen in movies. “It’s on me.” He gives you an awkward smile.

Your eyes narrow. After staring at him for a few seconds, you shake your head. “No thanks. I’d rather just go somewhere else, if that’s cool.”

Huh. “Yeah, sure,” he says easily, and lets you lead the way. Maybe your refusal should seem strange, but it doesn’t. He’d have done the same thing.

You’re silent as you lead him off campus and a few blocks over to a nondescript coffee shop. It’s not cute or anything, the decoration is minimal, and there are only a few people inside.

He coughs. “You come here often?” On its way out he realizes it sounds like a pickup line, but he genuinely wants to know.

Your eyes narrow at him again. “Sometimes.”

Wow. If you’re going to have a stick up your ass, why’d you agree to come with him in the first place?

Moving aside, you gesture at him to order. He gets a small black coffee with room for milk. You order the same. He finds himself wondering if that’s deliberate, or just your normal coffee order.

You both dump in milk, and Jason notices you sprinkle some cinnamon on top. This is a useless detail.

He hears you scoff. Glancing up, he sees you’ve caught him staring into your cup. He flushes, but lets a sheepish grin unfold on his face. You ignore it, turning and stalking off to a table.

What the hell is your problem? He trails after you, dropping into a seat across from yours. You set your coffee on the table and fold your arms over your chest, glaring at him.

“So, uh…” he racks his brain. “How do you like the class?”

“It’s fine.”

He waits a moment, but you don’t ask any follow up questions. “What do you think of Paradise Lost? Do you like it?”

“Oh, sure. ‘Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven,’” you recite easily.

Jason resist the urge to analyze your choice of quote. For one, it feels stupid, and for another, it’s arguably the most famous quote in the whole poem. That’ll get him nowhere.

“Yeah,” he says lamely. You raise your coffee to your lips.

Again, he waits for you to ask him a question, but you remain silent, drinking your coffee steadily. Damn. Why the hell are you so closed off? He squints at you, and you stare back openly. You’re deliberately trying to keep him in the dark. But then why did you agree to get coffee?

Faced with your hostility, he relaxes. You clearly don’t like him, so what does he have to lose?

“What do you think you’ll study?” he asks you.

You flick something off your sweatshirt. “Literature, probably,” you say off-handed.

He nods. “Me too,” he offers, but you stare at him blankly.

He chuckles. Seems like you’re an asshole, but this is actually kind of fun.

“Why’d you come to Gotham U?” he prods.

You shrug. He opens his mouth. “Really? No reas—”

“Why did you come to Gotham U?” you cut across him bitingly.

That stops him short. He can’t help it, he shrugs, knowing you won’t like it.

You roll your eyes. He stifles a grin.

“Did you grow up in Gotham?”

“Yes.” You don’t elaborate.

“Where?”

“Did you grow up in Gotham?” you parrot instead of answering.

He inclines his head at you, smiling. “Yeah.”

“Where?” Jason doesn’t answer, smiling knowingly at you. You scoff and look away.

“You got any siblings?”

You hesitate. Jason clocks it eagerly. “Yeah,” you say, a second later.

“How many?”

“You got any siblings?” you ask instead of answering.

That pulls Jason up short. He should’ve seen that one coming, probably should have avoided it by not asking you in the first place. He pauses, for much longer than you did. He half notices you catch it, but his mind is elsewhere.

Does he have any siblings? That would mean he has a father. He can’t go down that path.

He chews on his lip, absently watching you watch him. Bruce might not be his father, but Dick…he and Dick are something. Not friends, definitely not friends. Maybe brother is the best word.

“Yes,” he settles on eventually.

You raise an eyebrow, and he braces himself, but you don’t ask him how many. Instead, you look away, gulping down your coffee.

You’re obviously not going to make an effort. Jason tries again. “What do you do for fun?”

“Nothing.”

He bursts out laughing, and you look at him accusatorially. He can’t help it.

“No sports or anything like that?”

“No.”

“No martial arts?”

This gets your attention. “Maybe,” you say begrudgingly. “Why do you want to know?”

Jason leans back in his chair. “Just trying to make a friend.” He looks at you earnestly, barely hiding his glee.

“Pick someone else.”

That makes him laugh all over again. What crawled up your ass and died? By the way you’re acting, you’d think it was Jason.

His laughter seems to make you furious. “What do you do for fun, then?” you shoot across the table.

Jason smiles, laughter dying out. “Nothing,” he looks at you innocently. Actually, it’s the same shit as you.

You glare at him, lifting your coffee to your lips. Jason realizes your cup is almost empty. You’re probably trying to escape, but Jason’s having too much fun to let you get away. Besides, he’s still got some questions.

“You done? Here, let me get you a refill.” He jumps to his feet before you can stop him, all but running to the counter. Getting your coffee gives him time to think.

So martial arts, huh? That’s what he’d thought. He’s seen you move around campus, you can’t be that well trained, or you’re taking great pains to hide it. Jason’s got good eyes though, and he thinks you’re pretty unskilled. That’s enough to get the drop on most petty criminals.

He considers this as he pays for your drink. You’re not well-trained, and you don’t have any weapons or tactical gear. You’re probably not trying to break out as Gotham’s newest vigilante. It seems like this is a short-term thing, you’re on some kind of mission.

He remembers how angry you were as you beat that guy to a pulp. Some kind of revenge mission, maybe? Plenty of reasons to want revenge in Gotham.

Jason looks back to you, half expecting you to have left when his back was turned. But no, there you are, holding a five dollar bill between your fingers. He chuckles, adds milk and a splash of cinnamon to your drink before returning to the table. You wave the money in his face, and he takes it from you.

“I get to keep the change, then?”

“No.”

He smiles, fishes out his wallet and hands you a dollar. You squint at him, holding out your hand for the remaining fifty cents. “That’s my tip, because I remembered to add cinnamon to yours.” He grins wildly.

“Okay.” You rise to your feet, pulling on your jacket. “This has been great, but I’ve got shit to do.” You pick up the coffee and walk out.

“We’ll do this again?” he calls to you. You don’t even look back at him.

Jason smirks through the rest of his coffee. He didn’t learn shit about you, but damn. This ‘date’ just made his whole week.

[preztee]

[extremely biased Dorian romancer voice] Guys, I think we won.

I know it's more common to hear that Solas romancers won - and after seeing how much extra content they got (additional dialogue trees with the Inquisitor and a whole alternate ending with a kiss), I can definitely see why.

But that's the thing - I've seen Solas romancers utterly split on if they liked this extra content or not. I've seen takes ranging from, "oh, I'm so glad I finally got my happy ending!" to "what the hell? This is awful!"

I've seen people heaping endless praise onto Solas' characterization. I've seen people deeply upset over Solas' characterization. I've seen people who think the Inquisitor vowing to save Solas is the most romantic thing ever. I've seen people who hate how the writing portrayed the Inquisitor as hopeless, blinded by love, and shadowed by Solas' dynamic with Mythal.

Case being... the fanbase is polarized. Some people won, but some people lost very, very bad. I've noticed the latter with those who had Inquisitors that romanced Solas, but wound up angry and vowing to stop him.

So, back to my first point. How did Dorian romancers "win"? For lack of a better term.

Well, for one, we got more content than every other romance (barring Solas'). I'm mad on behalf of the other romances, but there's no denying we made it out VERY lucky in that regard. Could it have been better? Yeah. But honestly, in comparison to Hawke talking about their romanced companion, I feel like we won. Not a huge win (Warden Alistair's dialogue about the HoF was a MASSIVE win), but a pretty good victory nonetheless.

Romance wise we got: direct, in-character interaction that alludes to Trespasser's conflict with the anchor secretly killing the Inquisitor. Sweet idle dialogue from Dorian. An immensely touching letter from Dorian that logically concludes his character arc from Inquisition (with him no longer being allergic to The L Word!). And we even got a Dorian romanced Inquisitor implying that he's up in Minrathous enough to consider himself a source of information for the Inquisition.

Generally, we got: Dorian being written in character (this is helped by him showing up as a side character and not a main one... less questionable decisions), with notable development stemming from what was planted in Inquisition (working through emotional repression, abolition and enacting societal change, etc). The option to make Dorian Archon or not, allowing for the player to decide what future they want for him. The Inquisitor wearing the Shadow Dragon casual outfit and arranging meetings in Dock Town of all places. Both of them surviving to the end of Veilguard. Both of them working and fighting together in the finale to save Minrathous and stop the gods despite the Inquisitor's duties in the south. Heavy implications that Dorian and the Inquisitor have been talking off screen about Rook and about recent events. Vague timeline that allows for several headcanons to fit - like, are they married? Engaged? Idk. How often does the Inquisitor visit? Well, often enough to consider himself a direct source of information, but with recent events, he and Dorian have been forced to use the calling crystals and write letters over the course of weeks... so really, it's up to you.

What we didn't get: Maybe a dialogue tree during Rook's conversations with the Inquisitor. Uhhh, there's one optional dialogue response if you're too formal with the Inquisitor where he calls Dorian an old friend. Which Dorian also does to the Inquisitor in Trespasser. Literally the same exact wording of "old friend". I can't be too mad over a such a funny oversight happening again. In the exact same way. But this time easily avoidable.

TL;DR - We got a lot of wins, a lack of divisive content, and a generally happy fanbase. That, and the Inquisitor and Dorian standing next to each other. Oh, the screenshots to be had. The whimsy of it all.

[dtmsrpfcringe]

We don't hate women. We hate women who are abusive towards their partners.

Michael and David both deserve better and just because you want to buy into what PR and social media tells you, you don't have to attack other people for being upset over actors they care about possibly not being happy.

David wouldn't leave Georgia, they are married and have children, so he feels responsible. He always puts other people before himself. And Anna played it well with the babies, as harsh as it sounds. Michael would feel terrible leaving the girls. People staying in relationships doesn't prove you right, sadly. It's no sign of anything other than commitment and commitment doesn't always come from a place of love.

By saying that Michael and David shippers want to see them unhappy in their relationship, you show that you're missing the point. The whole point of shipping them is wanting them to be happy. You just want to be hateful towards people who don't suppprt your narrative, it seems.

GOD I WISH TUMBLR WOULD LET ME ADD TEXTS BEFORE ASKS SO I COULD SAY “Warning: you’re about to hear one of the most moronic takes I have ever heard” *insert gif of amanojaku from ghost stories here* okay let’s…we have to break this down it’s too much for me to just laugh at and go “wow this is dumb as hell”

“We don’t hate women, we just make up stuff so we can justify hating them”- you. where’s…where’s any shred of proof that either women are even a little bit abusive? I mean don’t you think we would have seen some of that by now? And no, enty lawyer doesn’t count as proof and neither does random screenshots of a bit of text with zero context. Also neither do jokes online with your partner when they’re okay with it (and make the same jokes quite literally all the time) and nobody sees a problem with it except the people that conveniently hate these women.

2. “Michael and David both deserve better” yes I’m sure the rich white middle aged men who are two of the most popular actors in their countries who have girlfriends/wives and kids who love and adore them are surely hurting because some weirdo on tumblr says it.

3. Hate to tell you this but married people with children divorce all the time. It’s not like if they divorce he is going to suddenly vanish in a puff of smoke babe.

4. Even if that’s true, your theory of him only staying out of responsibility is bullshit. Someone who stays for the kids isn’t going to dip their wife into a kiss on the red carpet and look at her like a hozier song sounds. If there’s any event or interview where he can find a way to praise Georgia, he does it. He always talks about her. After events they’ve been seen kissing deeply and walking arm in arm honeymoon style.

5. as for Anna and Michael, (David and Georgia too but they seem more open to pda) they don’t owe you pda. Michael has been more than adamant about defending his girlfriend on twitter and good for him about it.

6. if you guys were genuinely concerned with Michael and David’s impending relationship crashes, why is it always tied to their love for one another? The only people who see This rampant “abuse and unhappiness” is this group of people who believe David and Michael are actually in love and want to elope together. Nobody else. Not even other Sheenant shippers. You guys literally just hate them, I mean Invisibleicewands has been talking shit on Anna since she posted her first photo with Michael back in 2019 and hasn’t stopped.

7. “And Anna played it well with the babies, as harsh as it sounds.” seriously what the absolute crap is this supposed to mean my dude? I’ve gotta be honest….you know how smex works right? Michael could absolutely choose to use protection!!! Why is it on her? Not on him. He’s had kids before I think he knows that a stork doesn’t bring the baby. Holy hell you people make my eyes hurt

8. (finally) funny you should bring up narratives, you know considering you’re part of the group that thinks any affection towards anybody else that isn’t them is PR (thinking of the Joseph Fiennes hug fiasco) that lied about Georgia and Anna being abusive, that has tried time and time again and moved the goalpost, that fabricates evidence and tries to send death threats to people who speak out, and then lie about it, that your group is the one who can’t handle women working together and have to call everything PR. The same group that ignores the fact that Anna and Georgia are friends, to talk grave shit on them. Newsflash sweetheart, we aren’t the ones pushing the narrative here. You only want to see David and Michael happy as long as it aligns with your delusion. Have the day you deserve.

anyways, I think this is going to be my pinned post. Mostly because I want this to be embarrassing if you ever try to come back here and lie on Betty whites internet again, but also because I think this addresses so many tin hat talking points at once. Just because we love aziraphale and crowley doesn't mean we get the right to insert ourselves into their personal lives, you wouldn't want someone else praying for your relationship to fail.

[candyskiez]

Thinking about ???%/Shigeo as a character today and losing my mind. Like he's so funny to joke about but also he's SUCH an interesting character (especially from a plural angle, ESPECIALLY when you're a system yourself) and he makes me want to explode. Imagine forming to protect a little kid and deciding you love him so so much and you'll always be there for him, and you love his little brother, and you love his best friend, even though the world doesn't love you very much. But you take it anyway because you have those three and your little family so you're happy. And you have powers and they're a part of you and the other kid and it's fine until it very suddenly Isn't, and nobody's explaining why, just that you need to Stop Having Them. And the kid just decides, okay, I'm sorry, I'll be normal. And you get no explanation. You just have to be suppressed that little bit more. You form because he can't handle being suppressed yet he suppresses you. And then one day it all blows up and you make a mistake trying to protect your little brother and suddenly everyone hates you. Everyone thinks every little thing you've ever done is proof you're a monster and you always would've turned out like this, and you have no idea what they're talking about. You made a mistake trying to save your brother. But because you look scary and act different, even though you've always been there suddenly you existing is dangerous. Because you made a mistake, you are now Irredeemable.

That would fuck ANY kid up. But like, think about it. Shigeo had no one except Tsumobi and Mob and Mob's family. And suddenly he has no one. Mob represses him so deeply. He makes one mistake and suddenly he's not allowed to talk to anyone, suddenly he's completely alone and isolated. He has to share a brain with someone who despises him. He has the trauma of the accident AND the trauma of suddenly losing everyone he loves on top of it. He literally had no one for years. No wonder he's so fucking cynical. All of the shit about "I don't trust anyone" in the manga? Yeah, of course he doesn't. The rug was pulled out from under him so fast. In his eyes everyone just hated him for no reason, because he existed, and everyone would hurt him for existing, so he could only trust himself. Yeah, no wonder he's so selfish, he has no one else there at ALL. It's just...holyyyy hell.

And the thing is if you actually look the little things point to him yearning for connection so desperately. He's still so aggressively protective of his family (even though he lost them a long time ago, they're Mob's now, they don't even know he's there. Don't get me started on that from a plural view. I won't shut up and will probably pour my heart out.), and just ...world domination arc. When he's so upset about losing his family. We know he doesn't trust Reigen. Yet he's running to Reigen for some sort of comfort because he's scared and doesn't want his family to die and wants someone to tell him everything's fine. And Reigen DOES and he believes him. He believes him and immediately passes out. The guy who doesn't trust anyone wants to be loved so so bad and wants to believe Reigen more than anything. He really clearly WANTS to be able to trust Reigen. But he can't. More on this later.

And also thinking about why the build up in confession arc broke him like that is just fucking sad, man. Everyone was telling them to change. Shigeo's been told to change and it meant "be normal". Mob isn't even the one who actually likes Tsumobi like that. Shigeo's being completely repressed and Mob wants to live without him completely. Everyone wants to live without him now that they've used his powers to get this nice perfect life (in his eyes, at least.) Everyone's just trying to forget he ever existed so they can be happy without him, when Shigeo never GOT to heal. He never got to move on. He never got to process any of the god awful shit that happened to him. Everyone's telling him, change. Be normal. Be normal so Tsumobi will like you. And Shigeo's so fucking stressed out of his mind because lying about who he is didn't even help Mob make friends, it didn't make him popular, it didn't make anyone like him, it just made them both miserable. He doesn't want to be stuck like this. Of course he's freaking out. We see in his encounter with the body improvement club that being told to go back to normal sets him off HARD. It's clearly a sensitive subject. "Normal" means "Don't exist" to Shigeo. Do you see why this fucked me up as a system yet. Oh my god.

And his breakdown is just...painfully understandable. Like, actually think about it for a second. Shigeo has never been shown forgiveness or compassion or any amount of understanding for his mistakes. He never was taught to mature or see any nuance. He fucked up, so he doesn't deserve any second chance. Nobody ever taught him compassion. He has such a completely black and white view of the world. If someone did something bad once, they are forever The Bad Thing. If someone was kind to him once, they are forever Good and Perfect. Teru was a threat once, so he is now Always A Threat. Reigen was a liar before so he is Always A Liar. Ritsu was sweet and kind as a kid so he is always His Innocent Little Brother. And Tsumobi accepted him as a kid, so now she's the only person who could ever possibly accept him. Teru sees Shigeo at his most terrifying, when he's actively hunting him down, and in the manga looks at him with fucking hearts in his eyes. Ritsu might not be all perfect, but he's trying so hard and understanding no, Shigeo isn't just a scary part of Mob. Shigeo isn't Evil. But because neither of their acceptance is perfect, and because they aren't from Tsumobi, he can't see it's even there. And also, another thing, his response to people acting outside of his perception of him is to get them away. It scares him. Teru isn't acting how he expected? Attack maim. Ritsu isn't afraid of him anymore? Teleport him away so he doesn't have to confront the change. Reigen acts different? Throw shit at him until he hates him.

It's just so...fuck man. Of course he's like that. He's immature and selfish because nobody taught him not to be. Nobody helped this kid when he needed it and this is the result. He thinks he's an irredeemable monster so he acts like one when he's told to just be himself. He doesn't see change as being realistic. He's been treated the same no matter what he does so he assumes this is how the world naturally is. He's just a bitter mentally ill kid who nobody gave any reason to believe that maybe the world is nice sometimes.

Another thing: I think he really really wants Reigen to care about him. Him going "I can't listen to him" is so intense with the context of the fact he immediately passes out to rest and let Mob take care of it once Reigen says his parents are safe. Reigen can convince him like nobody else can. He cares about him and wants to believe him and that's terrifying! He hates him and resents him and wants him to be proud of him and wants nothing to do with him and it's confusing and he just wants something that is (supposedly) guaranteed. He wants Reigen to care so badly and it feels impossible. Why would he ever care? He just wants to use him. The only way to bring Shigeo back from his breakdown was to show him that people can be kind without wanting something back in return. Reigen saying "you don't need me anymore" was the only real way to help him, to show him that he's not doing this for himself, but because he cares about his student(s). Because he cares about BOTH of them. He cares about every version he's seen and interacted with, not because of his powers but because they were them. He had to let go of them to truly help them here, so Shigeo wouldn't have any lingering fear. What helps Shigeo is the display of kindness with nothing to be gained and Mob finally realizing that Shigeo's just...flawed. They both realize that sometimes people are just flawed and fucked up and make bad decisions and just straight up hurt people. And they'll still love you. They'll still be worth saving. But you can't deny their flaws, for Mob, and you don't need to seek the perfect relationship to have someone there, for Shigeo. It just. Agh! God! I am always losing my mind over this story. Fuck. This SHOW .

[bisexualmcqueen]

may i offer this thought for the feral racers hc

racecars are like loyal little guard dogs (not little at all. those are metal beasts) with the people they love. they just kinda like. imprint on people and its like an immediate switch to feral mode when they perceive threat and danger to loved one. and they do that thing where they try and make themselves bigger to intimidate enemies.

idk if its something similar like this has posted about or discussed before but uh yeah. the feral racers hc just kinda read to me as racecars being like dogs. wolves. instinctually wild animals. i like how strip and doc being particularly old veterans translates into them being Extra Dangerous or Extra Feral, something like that. though i dont even think racecars get normaller the newer/younger. i think the next gens are just a different flavor of freak (i.e. chewing, zoomies) like they're domesticated sort of in a way

YES YES exactly

ok many thoughts. lets see here

so ive been thinking about this and. the thing is. that part of what makes this headcanon so fun is that theres actually canon precedent, in a way.

Lightning for example. is crazy protective. like instantaneously. zero forethought, action only, putting himself between the Danger and the Friend.

some examples:

in cars TVG, Chick hires the DRH to rob Mack so Lightning will be without supplies for the upcoming race. when Lightning hears that Mack was very upset about it from Sheriff, he gets so pissed off he takes to the streets, tracks the DRH down, and proceeds to spend all night chasing and beating the shit out of them until they drop his stuff. not because he was Robbed, but because they Upset Mack.

i think its funny that Sheriff doesnt say Anything. he just nods in agreement. ...not that i think Sheriff could have stopped him though. Lightning is sort of Insane about Mack. Mack is the greatest. [two quality versions. one oldschool for nostalgia and one more HD]

in the comics (admittedly ive only read in sections), Mater was beefing with Bubba, Lightning also started to get pissed off at Bubba being rude + protective of Mater:

i dont know if Lightning would be good at fighting or get his ass beat terribly. either way, i want to watch.

next up is my favorite example: the thunder hollow crazy 8 race. Lightning LEAPS in to help Cruz several times. it is my fucking Favorite.

HERDS HER BACK OUT ONTO THE TRACK

and then he jumps in front of a speeding attack-bus and takes a metal sawblade to the drivewheel for her. NO thoughts, head empty, protect Cruz. love this man. apparently, type-c school busses can be between 10-20,000 pounds. crunch.

and my last example on this topic: the radiator springs 500 1/2:

these racers show up in town looking for trouble. its supposed to be a silly little western parody, but in terms of this headcanon it comes off as territorial as hell imo. wdym other racecars show up at his house to fight him. hello. and then they insult Stanley, which deeply upsets Lizzie:

cue getting their asses kicked by mcqueen. that is HIS freaky old woman.

[i love this short]

so yeah. my terrible guard-dog-horse-thing-car.

Doc is largely The Same:

14 billion KEEP OUT signs. shooing Lightning away from his friends family because he is A Perceived Danger. another racecar standing in his lawn barking. yeah. you territorial old wet rag.

I agree with what you said its very in line with the vibes of the headcanon yes. true and real. def like dogs/wolves, and i personally try to throw some cat/horse stuff in there too. again, i blame being an x-men/wolverine fan.

a few other tidbits from source material for funsies:

^that ones wallpaper, apparently. for like a Room. in a house. my cars wallpaper merch thats 2018 xrs drag racing diecast merchandise.

Doc was so amped to do racecar stuff again he wakes Lightning up in the middle of the fucking night to run around in circles with him the moment he shows back up in town.

they lost Guido in the fucking sand.

Cars Origins: Struck By Lightning quick aside: "everyone's going to think something is wrong with me" Lightning these are not mentally stable thoughts im so sorry.

second topic: generational/evolutionary differences.

first of all i would like to point out that my basis for strip especially being some sort of craazzy toothy freak is entirely the headcanon of @youhavehitawall that i adopted out of coolness. non has some lore about the weathers that explains it, but basically it boils down to a repeated expression of racecar genes getting more pronounced the more generations it travels down (so long as its an expressed gene).

now for the nextgens (funny calling them that in 2025. theyre all in their 30's lmfao. not saying thats 'old', but they arent rookies anymore, damn does time fly). [disclaimer: dont quote me on this, my knowledge is an approximation] in real life NASCAR, they used very old technologies right up until about 2012. carburetors, leaded gasoline, 4-gear h-box frontend transaxles, reticulating ball steering, etc. most of these things vanished from the dealership road cars between the 60's and the 90's. Meanwhile cars like Lightning and Cal are still running this stuff in the mid-aughts. so when the nextgens came along, they showed up with fuel injection, e85 15% ethanol fuel, 5-speed sequential rear-mounted transaxels, rack-and-pinion steering, bigger aluminum wheels, bigger calipers, and less ground clearance/more areo, there was a very sudden and massive shift in what sort of technology was being run in the piston cup. tech-wise, Lightning +co were very similar to cars like Chick and even Strip. the change in tech could be a good marker for other genetic shifts too. cars change much, muuuch faster generation-to-generation than mammals. its Moore's Law in a way: theyre machines. add that to the incredible 12-week turnaround in which every team booted their driver and replaced them with a 'nextgen', and ive had to spend some time wondering Why? why??? thats brutal! Doc certainly warned us, but goddamn. imagine if that happened mid-season in any real sport! holy shit! (i still want to know more about the fan's reactions to this...) in the context of this headcanon, i Also wonder about what you said, the nextgens being feral in a little bit of a 'different' way. maybe theyve got easier-to-handle temperaments; an added bonus to their overall higher speeds+better track times. uhm. Jackson being the temperament-outlier here, maybe.

to be fair, he did get fired after throwing too many fits.

Cars Origins: Storm Chasing

But yes... racecars!! they are a lottt to handle. the driver AND the incredibly powerful machine mashed into one?? hooo boy. honestly i am a bit fearful of racecars irl. very loud, very fast, smell bad, they breathe fire, etc. why not reconcile that by making the talking ones into Beasts. theyre already crazy, already quadruped, my brain just starts assigning horse/wolf to them. and some of it comes down to me loving logan-wolverine tropes. protective growly little guy with pointy teeth. yeah can i get 5 more of these little fanged bitches.

ok i have to stop yapping now this turned out quite long, but i still have Things to Say about this headcanon/worldbuilding. i didnt even get into the amazing bonds racecars seem to have with their teams/families (the 'imprinting' thing you mentioned!). very fun!!

thanks for the ask!!

[rosemallowss]

some thoughts

Obviously, people have probably analyzed the hell out of this poem already, or it's incredibly obvious, but I just cannot get over the parallels between Bill Cipher and Stanley here so here are my ramblings for myself when I originally read the poem.

As we learn more of Bill's backstory, the hatred he has for Stan goes deeper, not just because Bill is upset that a "lower life form" has defeated him, but because he's deeply envious that the both of them "always dragged his family down", "couldn't outrun life's regrets", and yet only one of them got a happy ending: reunited with a family who loves him despite his mistakes, able to reverse one of his own deepest regrets, ie. pushing Ford through the portal after just getting him back. Bill likely always dragged his family down with his ability to see the third dimension, as the book and website implies that no one in Euclydia were exactly fond of his abilities, nor did they take him seriously, and they tried to quell his power. (He's basically like Viktor from The Umbrella Academy, but I digress I have not seen the new season). "One mistake, disowned, denied", their paths differ here, but Stan's mistake- ruining Ford's school project accidentally, and Bill's- massacring an entire dimension in the process of attempting to get them all to see what he sees.

We know Stanley's whole life of hiding and changing his identity. Bill goes to "reinvent, retry, reload" throughout dimensions.

"A girdle, eyepatch, fathers fez, / 'I'm a new man!' so he says,": With new info from the website, we can also guess that Bill's top hat, where he keeps the molecules of Euclydia in, once belonged to his father. They both "couldn't outrun life's regrets," and both are con mans in their own right of course, Bill is sketchy and makes deals to manipulate people. He’s a new man once he takes his dad’s top hat!

"When you've lost track of your lies / When the poison starts to rise / When the walls are closing in / When its clear you cannot win / When your actions make it worse / When they see you as a curse," sheesh, Bill is really projecting here. Even his lies are lies. It's funny how Bill really sees himself in both of the Stan twins. With Stanley he seems to project what he hates most about himself onto him in terms of mistakes, failures, and permanently altering his and his loved ones' lives forever, again showing why he despises Stan the most. Despite all of that, Stan got the life that Bill couldn't get back. With Ford, they both have a genetic abnormality, and level of genius and personality that no one else could relate to, making them both outcasts.

"You think you left the past behind / But trust me / I'm still on your mind." By the way, if Bill was still in his mind while his memories were getting erased, and Stan is getting those memories back, that implies that Bill can reform whole again, right? But anyway, these last few lines don't seem to apply to Stan as much as it does to Bill. His dead universe is always on his mind no matter what. Bill's story is so fascinating to me. He's been my favorite villain since I was eleven, so to expand upon him feels awesome. Book of Bill coming out has made me feel like a giddy little kid again who was screaming when she found out that there was a secret flashing of an image once the GF intro ended.

Stanley Pines, the conman clown,

Always dragged his family down.

One mistake, disowned, denied,

Only thing to do was hide.

One way out: the open road.

Reinvent, retry, reload.

A girdle, eyepatch, fathers fez,

"I'm a new man!" so he says

Couldn't outrun life's regrets,

Just kept placing bigger bets.

Changed his haircut, switched hotels-

Truth is just whatever sells.

When you've lost track of your lies,

When the poison starts to rise,

When the walls are closing in,

When its clear you cannot win,

When your actions make it worse,

When they see you as a curse,

Give the wheel one last spin,

Take your chips and go all in,

And Lucky Stan- the roll's on black,

He got his life and family back.

His big break, it finally came,

Redemption from a life of shame.

You really think you won the day.

You packed your bags and sailed away.

You think you left the past behind.

But trust me

I'm still on your mind.

[atypical-artisan]

Abusing my birthday to talk about all the Burnt bread fics in the fandom yeehaw

(This is a preview for my next fic recs post btw lmao- hopefully it's out by april)

There aren't too many of these, excluding my own fics ofc, most of them are on ao3 so that's where all but 4 will be coming from. All are in order of release!

Starting with the sfw fics:

Written in Fine Print » by philosonica- Chapter 1/ Misunderstanding- 10/10. Fun fact, this fic got me SHIPPING these two goobers in the first place. Its a more introspective piece following Aran and his internal monologue thinking about how he struggles to get along with the other boxers and esp his one-sided crush/fascination with Joe. Its such well written angst and has informed some of my own writing by now. It hurt my heart so bad I wanted Aran to have a happy ending and Joe fall in love with him dhdbdb. It also hits close to home with my own personal struggles of socializing. Aran's also a bit of a weirdo asshole here, it made me cringe and squirm and I love it.

~

The Best in the Worst by gorebot/That-artsy-virgo- 8/10. This is a fic on ao3 under the "Punch out oneshots" name and on DA as it's own fic. It's an extremely cute high-school au (I believe) that follows Aran and Joe having a meet cute at a party and running from the cops. Aside from some minor spelling mistakes it's a cute little crumb of a fic and a charming read.

One Mistake by gorebot/That-artsy-virgo- 7/10. From the same ao3 fic as the previous and also on DA. It's a nice angsty oneshot following Joe finding out Aran is trans and trying to be supportive all while Aran is deeply upset. Overall cute! Some points subtracted because of odd wording/spelling that pulled me from the story but again still very nice!

~

Just a Sketchy Guy by Virdemption- 9/10. This one is honestly way too funny for its own good. From hinting that Kaiser got Joe into homestuck to Aran's shipping jokes it's VERY funny. At the same time it's an extremely cute look into Joe and Aran bonding over silly art. Shit like this makes me giggle ♡.

~

Act Out! by JesterrDraws- 6.5/10. An actor/filming au for punch out. The burnt bread here is very mild, only appearing in 3 chapters, and hasn't yet peeked into Aran's mind so it gets a lower rating. However the moments there are cute as hell! It mostly focuses on Joe having a little crush and Aran flirting a bit but still sweet and pleasant, I hope the op continues soon!

~

Punch Out Imagines, One-Shots, ETC by GoEatDoorMoss-

Secret admirer- 8.5/10. A cute oneshot I requested a while back and Matt did a fantastic job with the prompt! It changed what I asked for a little but in a way I was pleasantly surprised with! It follows Joe looking for a secret admirer leaving gifts in his locker week after week. Despite a few bits of clunky wording it's a very very cute story that I reread quite a few times a year.

The Claw- 10/10. Another request of mine on Matt's book. This one is longer and much cuter than the last as it follows Aran and Joe going on a date and encountering shenanigans. Its funny and sweet and a strong jump in quality from the previous fic! It also has art to go along with it so I had to give it extra points.

~

A Cheater's Reason (WIP) by K1TT3N69- 7/10. A fic with seriously good potential here!! It follows Aran and his life as a cheater until his mother passes. Its currently unfinished but still quite interesting imho! I adore the concept and the hints set up but it's very hard to read due to lack of formatting.

~

The Potluck by Tonitheloftwing- 8.5/10. Fun fic with a chapter dedicated to burnt bread!! It's mostly about mac recovering from top surgery and coming out to the other boxers but the hints at other ships and the burnt bread confession chapter was cute as hell.

~

a blue jean serenade by CobbleCritters- 10/10. While this is a mostly don/tiger centric fic it does feature burnt bread and boy howdy it does their relationship well! It's a cool little band au that has Aran as a drummer and Joe as a photographer. Their already in a relationship and we get to see cute moments of affection alongside hard lows between them. Its a really great and complex representation!!

~

Le Draguer by FauxFoe_Punch- 9.5/10. Its a bit hard to say what the fic is about since it's still unfinished, but it's a Burnt bread semi-slowburn! It's not only very very funny (made me laugh every chapter) but it's incredibly sweet and well written. So many of the lines and descriptions are beautifully absurd, i can't pick a favorite. The only complaint I have is that the chapter cutoffs feel off but otherwise a great fic i highly recommend!

~

Glass Cafe by Globofchaos- 6.5/10. Very cool concept of Joe joining an mma ring thanks to Mac and Aran. It has a lot of cool ideas like a Narcis and Joe rivalry, Mac being disabled, Joe being freshly immigrated. Cool stuff! It has a lot of formatting and spelling issues though so it's hard to read. But I'm excited to see where the story goes!

~

Never gonna change by Globofchaos- 7/10. Another super interesting concept, this time with glass Joe suddenly getting stronger and more intimidating. First chapter is very negative with Aran being casually mean, Joe being heartbroken, and the bruisers bullying Joe, though it does look up later in the chapter. The second chapter focuses on disco and don which was fun! It's still hard to read due to formatting and spelling errors but I'm interested to where this one would go too!

A sudden change by Globofchaos- 8/10. Only one chapter, i think it's meant to be a companion piece to 'never gonna change or perhaps the third chapter? Idk. Either way it felt much cleaner, half focusing on mac and Aran's sister talking about Joe and the last section having Aran propose a date. Cute and I'm excited to see more!

~

Smutty fics under the cut!!

Gap Year by BarginBin- 8/10. This fic is so cute (and horny lmao). It follows Joe taking Aran in after he's kicked out and taking a gap year in Paris together, Joe manages to get fat and they get horny about it. Fun read if ur into that stuff!

L’Oiseau D’Eau by Jacksfilmsgavememegalophobia- 10/10. This bad boy is about Aran and Joe getting stuck in traffic and Joe pissing himself, romantic and sexual tension ensue. As one comment so beautifully put it 'I never thought a fic about glass Joe pissing himself could be so beautifully written'- amen. Seriously it's very unhorny (For now) but it gets the kink across wonderfully and I highly recommend to those who like this sort of thing.

French Berry Press by YourLocalGarbageSkunkXOXO- 8/10. Joe turns into a Blueberry after eating a muffin and him and Aran fuck about it. What more can I say? This is just good, Kinky, fun tbh. It honestly makes me kick my feet and giggle not necessarily because it's full of jokes but because the premise is very silly and funny. The style all around is well written and sweet, the sex especially is fun! Has formatting issues and can be hard to read but not too bad.

That one wattpad fic that stole my works and others- 0/10. Ngl I'm still bitter abt this one. I won't share it's name since the plagiristic parts have been removed but I'm still so mad how the person not only stole my work but then tried to recton the shit they stole to make it not t4t and in an intersexist way too. The fic has stopped updating since I told them off and chewed them out on ao3 but it still hurt enough that I hid my work for a time.

Irish-French Rodeo by Anonymous- 10/10. Its literally just Joe being Tommy and eating Aran out. Its so fucking sexy and fun I love it to bits. Its got that perfect balance of descriptions, humor, and sexyiness that I can't get enough of. This is the quality I want out of my own work.

[vole-mon-amour]

Halsin becoming a companion after EA because people were so thirsty for him?? The bear sex scene at the presentation going viral and probably boosting sales???? Now he’s the most hated guy????? Make it make sense.

It's actually incredibly sad because many people either forget he's at the camp ('too boring, too dull' & i've seen takes on YT community pages like "I forget he's even at the camp". Halsin also leads there as the least likeable companion) or treat him like a joke. Oh but bear scene, haha, so funny.

Man. I agree that they completely rushed his romance and development, they weren't ready for people wanting him to be a companion so badly, and they're not making it easy to know more of his backstory and trauma (how the hell do we learn about his sex slavery by a couple of drow ONLY if we take him with us when romancing Astarion and fucking drow twins? Why is Astarion's trauma out in the open, but with Halsin we need to dig so so deeply?)

At the same time, I don't think people are willing to learn things about him and his struggles? Bear (that he has trouble containing, mind you), big, muscular, dumb and boring. Never take him with them anywhere. Never listen to his opinions. Consider his wisdom and experience as something to disregard completely.

I do think the bear sex scene boosted the sales (i'm one of those people, hi), but his personality either felt flat for those people (???? he's AMAZING. he's open-minded. he's so experienced and non-judgy.) or it was a joke from the beginning as well.

Idk. I'm honestly so tired and upset about this. I wish Larian did a much better job at making him a companion, telling his story and backstory, and at interacting with him and letting him expressing himself and his opinions. It always makes me think back to his pipe and the journal, but how we can never gift him anything, ask about his pipe (or ask about all sorts of things for that matter). Let me truly BE with him, Larian. Let me play AS him since his choices and personality so close to Tav's. (Let me romance him as Astarion, just like it was presented at the con, and have their romance be FULL with unique dialogues and interactions.)

Lastly, I wish more people send feedback on this to Larian. Maybe then something would change for the better.

P.S.: I have a doc where I write more on that & describe more problems and how Larian could improve that. I *think* I sent it to them, but I got no reply whatsoever (when I did the same for Astarion, I did), so I'm not sure. If you'd like to read that, hit me up with your email (my messages are open) & I'll add you to that doc.

[spencer-charnas-ix]

How to give an unsub a midlife crisis with SSA Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner and SSA David Rossi - A Criminal Minds Fanfic

A/N: I randomly thought of this idea of Hotch and Rossi being victims of an unsub and the unsub's planning to kill them, but Hotch and Rossi just make fun of them and make them cry and have a midlife crisis because why not and it would be hilarious, and we need sassy Hotch and Rossi🤣

"Oh, for god sake, why the hell did we get kidnapped?" Aaron Hotchner said, rolling his eyes as he was tied to a chair with his co-worker/friend David Rossi.

"I have no clue, but to be completely honest I don't care" Rossi shrugged, sighing deeply, as they heard a voice crackle from a nearby speaker.

"Welcome, SSA Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner and SSA David Rossi, it's a pleasure to see you," The voice said

Hotch rolled his eyes. "Great, it's fucking jigsaw; what is this the saw franchise" He mocked

"Yeah, are we gonna be killed by John Kramer?" Rossi interjected with a scoff

"Or better yet, are we going to play a game?" Hotch added with a tired sigh

"Hey, I'm not John Kramer!-"

"Oh really, I hadn't noticed." Rossi mocked sarcastically

"Well, I'm here to kill the both of you, and I'm going to enjoy-" The unsub said before Hotch interrupted him.

"Spare us the villain monologue; we've heard it all before," Hotch said, rolling his eyes.

"Why are you both so mean?" The unsub whined, feeling annoyed

"Oh gee, we have a ton of damn reasons why", Rossi explained, rolling his eyes

"First of all, we've had no sleep; our sanity is gone, and we have to deal with our chaotic mentally ill work children, AKA our team, and we've turned into major alcoholics from it", Hotch explained condescendingly.

"But you know I am still gonna kill you both-"

"Oh, please kill us that way; we won't have to deal with our stupid, mentally ill work children." Hotch interrupted, looking bored of the conversation

The unsub came into the room, but their face was covered. They were wearing a black hoodie, jeans, trainers, and a Jason Voorhees mask with a voice modulator embedded in it.

"Wonderful, we're gonna get murdered by Jason Voorhees," Hotch said, scoffing

"Great, let me guess, you have mommy issues; what's the matter missing your mother, Pamela or better yet, did you drown in Camp Crystal Lake because of your deformed face?." Rossi sneered as Hotch laughed

"HEYYY, STOP CALLING ME JASON VOORHEES, AND MY MOTHER ISN'T PAMELA, AND I DIDN'T DROWN AT CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE BECAUSE OF MY FACE!"

"Oh, quit your whining; I mean, honestly, how are you going to kill us, huh? You gonna bore us to death," Hotch mocked as Rossi burst out laughing.

"No I-i'm gonna set you both on fire!" The unsub shouted angrily

"Oh really you're gonna set us on fire, and when you do play 'This girl is on fire' when we die, it'll be funny", Rossi laughed as Hotch nodded, laughing.

The unsub started getting upset and had a mid-life crisis due to the mocking, mimicking and other insults Rossi and Hotch had thrown at them.

Meanwhile, Hotch had been on the phone with the FBI SWAT Team the whole time as he and Rossi were also free from their restraints, but they acted like they were still tied up.

"Also, you know I've been on the phone with the FBI SWAT Team all this time, right? You boys can come in now!" Hotch said into the phone as the SWAT Team arrested the unsub as Hotch and Rossi got up from their chairs and left the warehouse they were trapped in.

"God I need a drink", Rossi said, pushing his hair back with a tired sigh

"Me too, wanna go back to the office and drink all the booze we have?" Hotch suggested

Rossi grinned. "You read my mind, Aaron"

Both men laughed as they went back to the office after a long, tiring day and drank like it was no tomorrow.

[swoosbadfuture]

ian mckinley (FD3) is autistic here's why

i orginally wrote this for twitter for autism awareness day but my friend said to post it on tumblr so . throws this to the masses no particular order im kinda just rambling . i have autism myself a lot of this will be relating to My personal exprience being autistic and why Ian sticks out to me and is a character I feel seen by :) -- Ian seems to have low empathy for others. Not that he doesn't care - he very much does and I will get to that too - but rather he struggles to relate to people on an emotional level prefering to use logic instead of emotion. Hell his first line in the movie is he alongside Erin trying to reassure Wendy that she'll be fine on the rollercoaster.

Though unlike Jason, their approach is more logic and reason based. Using facts and logic to communicate their point > saying something like "hey, it's okay to feel scared, but you'll be fine". And like many autistic people including myself who do this it's kinda regarded as him being rude/a smartass by those around him. When his intentions were entirely the opposite and he was actually just trying to be helpful.

Something personally I relate to a lot. I've been told countless times that I "don't need to be a smartass" when just trying to use logic to deflate a problem because, to me, it makes more sense than being emotional about it.

Ian trying to find logic in things is shown again in the scene where Wendy and Kevin come to warn he and Erin about death's design. Ian is completely opposed to the idea that death could possibly be a thinking or feeling entity. Again he isn't trying to be a smartass or be sassy about it, just trying to work out what the fuck Wendy and Kevin are on about because to him? It makes no logical sense.

He's very rooted in his beliefs and even when he choses to humour Wendy and Kevin he still takes a logical approach and tries to make sense of it in a way that makes sense to him. Even coming up with a solution that would seem most logical.

And yet again, he's treated like a bit of an asshole for it. It's not like he grabbed Wendy and shook her and told her to die no he just accepts this. He might have low empathy but he's still understanding.

Ian actually seems to care a lot about people. Especially Erin, who he's closest to in the movie, but this care extends even to Ashley and Ashlyn. Who he very likely wasn't friends with judging by how he and Erin laugh at them when they try to invite Wendy to the tanning salon.

But he cares, still, and has a very strong sense of justice. His interruption at the funeral is a prime example of this. You can see him dwelling on it for a moment before he speaks. He's not speaking up because he wants the attention, he's not trying to cause drama, he's just upset. Because to him, even as people who he wasn't close with, Ashley and Ashlyn's deaths were unfair and the fact that someone is trying to suggest otherwise just set him off.

If he was doing it for attention or to cause drama he would've put up more of a fight when Kevin and Lewis got him to leave. But he doesn't. He's probably pretty aware that what he did was wrong but the need to speak up outweighed that in the moment. Something again that I can relate to heavily. If something is unfair you will know about it. And people with autism often have strong senses of justice.

Ian also has very few people he's close with. Erin being his closest friend possibly even Only. Hence why her death impacted him as much as he did. He may not have been Wendy's best friend or anything but he did trust her and get along with her. So when Erin dies - a death that only occurs because Wendy interrupted his death causing it to skip to Erin - it feels like a betrayal. An injustice against someone he cared deeply about.

And that feeling of betrayal coupled with the fact Erin died so awfully is what drives him to act so irrationally.

His whole thing at the tricentennial was almost like a meltdown or at the very least an all-reason-out-the-window moment and god as someone who's autistic and frequently misunderstood by people / misunderstanding people leading to moments of severe anger and lashing out... i get it man i get you Ian.

Think. Erin died horribly less than 24 hours ago. It's fresh in his mind. He's focused so so heavily on Wendy being there, thinking about how unfair it is. Wondering "Why could Wendy save me but not Erin?". He's acting irrationally, he isn't thinking. Hell he sounds like he's on the verge of crying. And again I get it I GET that. When I feel something wrong has been done to me / someone I love I tend to fixate on that person and place blame onto them and act very irrationally about it.

Lastly I'm also 99% sure Ian never makes direct eye contact with anyone in this movie for longer than 5 seconds. So.

He's just a bit silly and him being autistic means a lot 2 me. end of thread . god hes just like me for real.