#fun fact i used to be one of those kids that role played warriors at recess

[mozzyspurt]

Realized i didn’t put any tags on the last post so redo

if it helps the most i read before stopping was up to finishing Omen Of The Stars

[the-lightning-static]

this is a Lego Monkie kid AU that I made. there are still some loopholes but I'll try to fill those as best as I can. I'll also be drawing some of the characters but I'm not an artist so I'll just try my best to make them look good.

☆The Spider Boy AU:

☆Mk: (our MC):

•Redson

☆Pigsy: ( father figure, noodle shop owner)

•DBK (Demon bull king)

☆Tang: (the freeloader)

•PIF (Princess Ironfan)

☆Mei: (MC's best friend/the funny one)

•Silver and Gold demons (Jin and Yin)

☆Monkie king: (MC's Mentor)

•Spider queen

☆The Monkie Staff: (the staff MC uses)

•"Spider bow" made from an ancient spider's silk that is nearly indestructible shots poisonous arrows depending on the users will, only the worthy ones can hold it (aka Redson)

☆Sandy: (the calm and kind hearted one)

•Lady Bone Demon

☆Redson: (was against MC but joined later)

•MK

☆PIF: (Aka "Princess Ironfan" Redson's mother)

•Tang (but he's not MK's mother more like the one that sends off to missions)

☆DBK: (aka "Demon bull king" Redson's Father)

•Pigsy (again not MK's dad just his father figure that MK doesn't wanna disappoint)

☆Silver and Gold demon twins: (aka "Jin and Yin" the troublemakers)

•Mei

☆Spider Queen: ( bad guy)

•Sandy (hear me out okay? so like this sandy doesn't fight but he sends his underlings to go fight Redson)

☆Lady Bone Demon: (the antagonist)

•Monkie king

☆Six-eared Macaque: (the counterpart of Monkie king)

•no role yet

Backstory:

☆MC: Redson

the demon bull family owns one of the best Restaurants in the entire city. Redson was the delivery boy there who was gonna take over the family business soon. one day when he was on his break his father told him to go and do one last delivery before they close the restaurant, there he ended up witnessing Mk and his crew trying to pick up a bow from a hill and since Mk wasn't a genius he had no idea how to lift it (for the record no one is sealed in that small hill) so then mk and the guys got bored and left giving Redson a chance to investigate.

redson was not a huge fan of the spider Queen's tales, the tales were about how the spider queen managed to become immortal and saved the world many times. everyone was worshipping the spider queen. although redson was not that big of a fan. and still he recognized that bow immediately and went over to investigate.

and yes he's still a genius but that's not his specialty. he treats everyone with respect even though he doesn't smile a lot. he does smile more often than og Redson though. he created a lens that helps him with aiming.

he still has the samadhi fire but unlike og Redson, the samadhi fire wasn't sealed away. he can control it well but doesn't like to use it to fight. whenever he gets emotional his hair turns blue so yin and jin started calling him "BB" or "Blue Boy" for fun.

☆DBK:

not much to say about him other then the fact he owns a restaurant that was run by his family for years. he's married to PIF and has a son. and let's not forget his hot temper. he loves his job and family. he's a really talented cook.

☆PIF:

PIF is a freeloader despite being married to the restaurant owner. DBK still makes her pay which as you can guess rarely happens. despite that she loves her family and tells her son many tales about the spider queen.

☆Jin and Yin:

they were friends with Redson since childhood. they're laid back and like to have fun. they like to play with Redson despite his busy schedule and the fact he doesn't ask for help and basically just does everthing himself, they make sure he takes a break every once in a while so he can rest and play video games with them. they are both dragons.

☆Spider Queen:

the spider queen is Redson's mentor unlike the Monkie king she puts time and effort into training Redson making sure to consider his health. she's a retired warrior who fought for centuries. despite her harsh training she treats Redson like her son and makes sure he's having fun while training which would make you think she doesn't take her mentoring seriously.

☆The Monkie Staff:(the staff MC uses)

"Spider bow" made from an ancient spider's silk that is nearly indestructible shots poisonous arrows depending on the users will, only the worthy ones can hold it (aka Redson)

it has poison that's powerful enough to kill people but also poisons for paralyzing your opponents temporarily. it's super dangerous and deadly that's why not everyone can wield it.

a secret power was later shown and discovered by Redson himself. the bow has the power to creat silk threads that are drenched in poison which only the user can choose. the one who wields the bow can control the thread at will, making him able to tie anyone up so they can't move even without any kind of poison.

the bow can also transform into a sword when necessary. mostly used for close-range combat

☆LBD:

she's basically the only calm one in the group. when she's with Redson she usually gives him advice and her advices give Redson inspirations and ideas that he uses to win his battles or better his training. when she's with the others she's mostly quite and takes care of them. if they feel down or discouraged she makes sure to take care of them and listen to their problems.

☆Mk:

Mk was raised and trained by Pigsy and Tang who he considers his parents. although he's not very smart, he's strong and thus Pigsy and Tang took him in to train him and use him how they see fit. he's constantly put under stress and does everything to make sure his parent figures don't find him weak or think he's a disappointment. they call him "the useless kid" and nearly hit him every time they get the chance.

he's later fed up with everyone and joins Redson who happily accepts him into the group after he proved that he's worth trusting.

☆Tang:

tang is quiet and is mostly the brain of the operations since he knows about the ancient artifacts that they steal. he studies the situation and gives everyone orders.

☆Pigsy:

he thinks of himself as a crime lord despite not being neither strong nor smart. he and tang started doing crimes ever since they met and even before that. has a short temper and yells at everyone (especially Mk) when he's mad which is often.

☆Mei:

she doesn't give a f*ck about anyone in the group and is basically here for the money. she's not a dragon and she was abandoned by her parents who considered her to be useless. she was about to be sold off to an old man but she was saved by mk, she then thanked him for the first and last time. after that, she didn't even acknowledge Mk's existence, but when she does she usually bullies him.

☆Sandy:

sandy is still against fighting here but that doesn't mean he can't be a crime lord. unlike pigsy he's an actual crime lord with connections. he has thousands of goons that protect him and do the dirty work for him. he doesn't care about pigsys group and just does his own work. he and tang are close friends and tang asks him for favors when he needs desperate help.

☆Monkie king:

he's a ruthless tyrant who does whatever he wants. he just wants to have fun and usually just burns villages to watch the people's terrified expressions. he also likes to torment Mk. tang and pigsy let him do that in exchange for favors which are mostly just him helping them with their dirty deeds.

☆Macaque:

(no one. until I find a nice character to take his role)

[imaginepirates]

Alright kids, buckle up because I have a Hot Take regarding Elizabeth, Jack, and Greek mythology. And as usual, tumblr is killing the gif quality. Click to actually read it.

I’m currently taking a mythology class, and reading Edith Hamilton’s Mythology. While reading about Greek myth, I stumbled upon the fact that while doves are normally seen as the birds of Aphrodite, so are swans and sparrows. I know that everyone has noticed the parallel between Elizabeth’s and Jack’s surnames, but this just adds another layer of beauty to it. The fact is, Elizabeth and Jack are just two sides of the same coin. They both represent this idea of freedom, being apart from the constraints of society. We watch them flourish in these roles, utilizing whatever assets they have to achieve their own ends.

Aphrodite is most commonly known as the goddess of love and beauty. Paris named her the most beautiful goddess. With the common depiction of Aphrodite as a young blonde woman, it’s easy to connect her with Elizabeth. Lizzie is portrayed as being desired by most of the men around her, each in their own way. Even Sao Feng finds himself inexorably attracted to her, and actually thinks that she’s a goddess. She’s also played by Keira Knightley, aka everyone’s queer awakening. That being said, Jack, too, is pictured as being attractive. Not only is he played by Johnny Depp, but we know that he’s had multiple lovers—Giselle, Scarlett, Ayisha, Angelica—just to name a few. Many others are attracted to him, as well, like Tia Dalma (dmc hints at it), Beckett, and Elizabeth herself. Beckett actually went as far as using Jack to seduce Ayisha into giving away the coordinates of Zerzura, a magical island holding great treasure. Jack and Elizabeth even flirt with each other, though they’re also portrayed as using each other to accomplish their own ends.

Hamilton writes that Aphrodite “laughed sweetly or mockingly at those her wiles had conquered; the irresistible goddess who stole away even the wits of the wise”. Both Elizabeth and Jack have coy smiles and find amusement in the people they toy with. We watch Elizabeth give that grin in cotbp when she threatens to drop the medallion overboard in front of Barbossa, mockingly, having outsmarted him. Later, we see a sweeter side of her as she smiles stupidly about Jack and James teases her for it. James, too, had his wits quite obviously stolen by her. Jack is portrayed as a trickster, smiling every time he works his way out of trouble. Sometimes convincingly, sometimes not so much. But he has a signature grin that makes the audience love him, even as he lies through his teeth.

So comes another important aspect of Aphrodite: she was seen as a goddess of war. Hamilton writes that she is “treacherous and malicious, exerting a deadly and destructive power over men”. Aphrodite wasn’t afraid to have her way, and neither were Jack or Elizabeth. Again, we see Elizabeth more as the main warrior, named King of the Brethren Court and declaring war on the EITC and navy. She progressively gets more dangerous as she gains access to weapons and better training. She utterly embraces this new role; when she’s mistaken for a goddess, she doesn’t back away from it, and when she’s named pirate king, she takes it right in stride. But Jack, too, is a figure of war. He believes, when necessary, in the principle of “fighting to run away”. He carries a pistol with one shot left in it to kill a man who wronged him. He faces the kraken with sword in hand. He gives Elizabeth his whole speech on doing things just because she wants to do them, and in the end, we watch her kill him. They’re both pirates, treacherous and deadly.

Yet another aspect of Aphrodite that hardly anybody mentions is that she was considered a goddess of the sea. She supposedly rose fully formed from the ocean. Aphros, in Greek, means ‘sea-foam’. Here, Jack is the most representative. He begins and ends the series a pirate and sailor, with his ship being the most important thing in the world to him. Pearls are another of Aphrodite’s symbols, and the Black Pearl suddenly becomes the most apt of names as Jack is often shown as the darker parallel to Elizabeth, even if in the end, we know they’re much more similar than we originally thought. Elizabeth, on the other hand, begins as a model of society and ends being mistaken for Calypso, another sea goddess. We watch as these two become tied to the sea so that the audience immediately relates both characters with the ocean.

Probably the least connected symbol is that of the apple. The apple is one of Aphrodite’s sacred fruits, and we see the apple as a symbol with Barbossa. Here, the apple is destructive, covered in poison, meant to kill the consumer. But both Jack and Elizabeth are shown eating—or nearly eating—Barbossa’s apples. They’re the only two characters, other than Barbossa himself, connected to the apple at all.

Sorry that was super long, but I thought it was worth taking a look at. I just think that the parallels are super interesting. Also, feel free to request more Hot Takes because they’re just...so fun to do. And if you have any ideas, even if half-formed, I’d love to hear and maybe expand on them.

[sketching-shark]

I think it's the ironic fact that JTTW fans already know how DBK and Sun Wukong's friendship broke apart but are more curious on LMK versions of Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque were friends alongside falling out.

HA! Well, while it often does seem that way, I'm going to go ahead and be a complete snob in a Journey to the West purist kind of way by wondering how many Six Eared Macaque fans would consider themselves more JTTW fans or more Monkie Kid fans, or if they feel they're a mix of both...

I've seen a lot of people argue that these two works of fiction are their own thing and that as such Monkie Kid (and associated fanworks) shouldn't be expected to follow the canon of JTTW, and fair enough for some parts. I've also, however, seen people who argue for this complete separation seeming to use it as an excuse to not acknowledge or learn about ANY original aspects of characters such as Sun Wukong and the Demon Bull King, or even very important deities such as Guanyin and the Jade Emperor, and who as such end up making some pretty gross generalizations/assumptions about them even though they are of great religious and cultural importance.

For example (and while I know a lot of the fun people get from fan works is in exaggerating certain traits), Sun Wukong seems to often be presented with an "inherently" evil/thoughtless/chaotic character, while his intelligence, deep love of his family, genuine efforts to become a better person, & many acts of saving lives, as presented in JTTW, aren't even mentioned. I feel like a lot of this is due to the way he acts in Monkie Kid (while I maintain that this version of Sun Wukong seems to be Bad End Monkey King, he does do a lot of deflecting his issues with a show of humor/a carefree attitude & does seem really bad at communicating due to a fear of making things worse). Even so, the popularity of Thoughtless/Evil/Selfish Sun Wukong that doesn’t really allow for any of the nuance or a display of his beneficial traits as shown in JTTW does make me wonder how many people have been exposed to a good translation of og classic Sun Wukong...As I've said before, I've noted that a number of Chinese people on this site have expressed frustration with the fact that a good chunk of the monkey king’s Western audience seems to be getting their impressions about Sun Wukong, the Demon Bull King, the Six Eared Macaque, etc. from some mix of Overly Sarcastic Productions, Monkie Kid, and social media instead of from at least a translation of the original text, and it is true that a LOT of the nuance of these work and these characters can be very easily lost, especially if your drawing your information of them primarily from a cartoony version of the original source. 

That would be an interesting poll though...out of curiosity, how many of you fine folk have read the break-up & fight between Sun Wukong and the Demon Bull King either in the original text or in a translation, or is your exposure to them primarily through Monkie Kid? 

Again, I need to make it clear that I'm not Chinese & didn't grow up with the story, but I will admit for my own part that reading the DBK/SWK break-up in the Yu translation actually made me more curious about how their dynamic is going to play out in Monkie Kid than I am curious about what's going to happen with Mr. Macaque. 

This is primarily because besides SWK’s fight with Princess Iron Fan and DBK being given a LOT of page space in JTTW, there seems to have been some serious stuff that went down between the three of them in the events post-JTTW and pre-the main plot of Monkie Kid...the last we see of DBK in JTTW (if memory serves correctly) was him being hauled off by a host of heavenly warriors to be judged for his crimes of not giving SWK the palm leaf fan & also eating humans. When Monkie Kid starts, however, we are told that DBK had emerged “from the Netherworld” & immediately starts wrecking everything around him. What this suggests--if Monkie Kid is something of a fan continuation of JTTW--is that DBK ended up being executed by the heavenly forces, but managed to fight his way out of the underworld in a manner somewhat similar to SWK, who we are told he is equal in strength to in JTTW. In that beginning fight of Monkie Kid DBK is also shown as so enraged that he won’t stop his path of destruction until SWK buries him under a mountain for 500 years. It’s never said in the show, but--and this is important--this is basically exactly what Buddha did to SWK to start him on the path of atonement. So there seems to be some very intentional parallels between SWK’s havoc in heaven & DBK’s havoc on earth, which may suggest that one of the things Monkie Kid SWK really wants is for his former dear friend, his sworn brother, to find a way like him to be less violent and thus ultimately less vulnerable to destructive and self-destructive behavior, and that the way he tried to start this was by giving DBK the same treatment he got when he was a raging warlord. 

We are furthermore told that it was right after DBK was sealed that SWK disappeared for all those centuries, and while the impulse may be to write it off as him just wanting to enjoy himself (given a lot of his behavior in the show’s timeline), given the indications that this SWK may be deeply depressed, I feel like the answer could be something a lot more tragic...there seem to be a number of clues in Monkie Kid that while the journey of JTTW happened, something made it end disastrously, with SWK either assuming or knowing that Zhu Bajie, Sha Wujing, Tang Sanzang, and Bai Longma are dead. And per JTTW, this wouldn’t be the first time that he’s experienced a horrific loss, given the war with heaven and the burning of Flower-Fruit Mountain. And then right after THAT, it seems DBK emerged from the underworld, and so Sun Wukong was put into a horrific position: either murder his sworn brother, or let him continue to rampage & harm and/or kill who knows how many humans. SWK ultimately gives up his staff to do the repeat of “500 years under a mountain in solitary confinement route,” which as per JTTW he considers better than the alternative, but he immediately follows that by exiling himself. In JTTW SWK is a really sociable person who makes friends wherever he goes, but man, for this SWK...his life must at that point just feel like one failure after another, that in spite of all his best efforts he wasn’t able to save anyone he really cared about, and now he just trapped someone who was so important to him under a mountain & fated him to suffer the same things he had when he was in that position. How much more does he have to hurt his fellow yaoguai? How many more times does he have to choose between yaoguai and humans, feeling like no matter what he decides it’s just going to result in pain for him and/or his loved ones? I can easily imagine super sociable & easily upset (he cries a LOT in JTTW) SWK feeling like after sealing DBK, he just can’t do this any more. He just...can’t. 

This is all just speculation, but knowing the JTTW backstory between SWK and DBK does, at least for me, make their Monkie Kid relationship a lot more intriguing than it might be otherwise. Especially now that DBK seems to actually be making some small steps to quell his constant rage & lust for power. He even saves SWK and Qi Xiaotian from an explosion/nasty fall in the season 2 special! The Bull family weren’t really present in season 2, but I really hope they make a comeback in season 3 (if/when we get it) precisely because Red Son, Princess Iron Fan, and especially DBK have such an involved history with SWK. Plus it would be really fun to see two old warlords trying to awkwardly make amends with each other & struggle to be good teachers & positive role models to their student & son. 

In any case I feel this potential is more interesting than whatever fanfic The Six Eared “I’mma Plagiarize The Demon Bull King’s Backstory Of Being Best Friends with Sun Wukong” Macaque is creating lol. 

[cc-tinslebee]

Okay, so, about a month ago, my brain just conjured up probably the most random au possible: Legally Blonde Adam Banks/banksway au.

Believe me, it's as chaotic as it sounds, but lowkey, I'm kind of in love with it.

Adam never joins the Ducks because there aren't any Ducks to join. Bombay never had to do community service with District Five so there was no one to realise that Adam was on the wrong team all along. He continues to play for the Hawks and, eventually, the Eden Hall Warriors, never getting the chance to become the well-rounded individual we know him as because he's never known anything other than his rich privilege and the "win at all costs" mentality. He ends up going to college on a hockey scholarship and not straight to the NHL or the AHL (shocking, I know). While he's unsure of his major and where his life is heading, he finds solace in the fraternity he joins, which, by some sheer twist of fate, Jesse and Guy have also miraculously joined.

And his life is perfect for a while. He's the star player on yet another school's hockey team, all of his fraternity brothers adore him (though, it took a bit for Jesse to warm up to him), and his secret, not-really-official thing with his former teammate is going swimmingly. (Not to slander my boy, but I was picturing Larson for the role of Warner, purely because the alternative seems to be Rick Riley and that's kind of an unsettling image-- though, maybe that's the point?)

But then his secret boyfriend breaks up with him because, with his high aspirations in life, he needs to be "more serious." And dating Adam Banks, a guy in a stereotypical fraternity who only really knows hockey, in 2001 isn't exactly the white-picket-fence life he's looking for if he's going to be a politician.

And since this non-Duck Adam clearly doesn't have the braincells that canon Adam does, in his devastation, he decides it's a brilliant idea to prove that he is serious by applying to Harvard Law. His parents try to talk him out of it, since they want him to pursue his dreams of hockey, but being a lawyer is a respectable career so they can't exactly argue with him.

He gets accepted thanks to Jesse, Guy, and the rest of his fraternity helping him study for the LSAT and keeping him on track. He's trying his darndest when he gets to Harvard, but (despite his struggle not being as significant as Elle Woods'), not a lot of people take him seriously as an aspiring lawyer, considering him a meathead jock who only got in because of daddy's money.

And that's about the time he meets Linda, who he vaguely remembers from his time at Eden Hall. What he doesn't remember is her being so competitive, because she's deliberately beating him at every turn, just trying (and kind of succeeding) at making him look like a fool. To make matters worse, all of the sudden, she's engaged to his ex-boyfriend, who is very adamant about never telling anyone that he and Adam were more than friends (because, you know, early 2000s homophobia and such).

But things get a little brighter for Adam when he meets Charlie, an undergrad teacher's assistant who gives him all sorts of advice about surviving the school. He introduces him to Professor Bombay, who Charlie claims is the only reason he survived his first year and quickly becomes Adam's favourite teacher, and Charlie's childhood friend Connie, who aspires to be a state senator one day. Charlie's charismatic and even if he's not the most well-liked person at Harvard, Adam feels a weight lifted off his shoulders once he becomes friends with him and Connie. Things become a little easier.

Just before he and Charlie start getting really close, Adam meets Casey at a local diner on a day he's feeling particularly upset and alone, and the two start bonding almost immediately. (He bullshits his way into scaring an ex-husband of hers with legal repercussions he has no idea about and she basically adopts him in return.) It takes him an embarrassing amount of time to realise that it's not just a coincidence that Casey and Charlie share the same last name, which results in poor Adam feeling extremely embarrassed for not connecting the dots sooner while Charlie's having the time of his life teasing him for it. Eventually, when the dust of that settles, Charlie and Adam join forces to set Casey and Bombay up, their schemes borderline ridiculous at times, but they'rere not exactly failing.

And after realising he isn't the Warriors moron she thought he was for going on five years, Linda starts warming up to Adam, which is surprisingly nice? She figures out on her own that there used to be something between him and her fiancé, and is more understanding of Adam than she is mad. Linda actually spills to him the lengths Adam's ex had to go through to actually get into Harvard, aligning more with the rumours about Adam's acceptance being bought than having the aptitude for the law that Linda and Adam share. (This may be me saying Linda and Adam friendship rights, what of it-- /lh)

To make things all the better, Bombay chooses Adam, Linda, Connie, Charlie, and Adam's ex to be on his legal team for a murder case he's responsible for (and while he knows about Adam and Charlie's ploys to hook him up with Charlie's mom, they're his favourites, so he doesn't say anything).

And this is just so much better than anything he had before. After all the initial unpleasantness, Linda and Connie become some of the most genuine friends he's ever had. He misses Guy and Jesse, of course, and he'd never take them for granted, but back when he was with them at the fraternity, a part of him was still being as superficial as he had been in middle and high school. Being authentic for once in his life is liberating.

And Charlie's just about the most considerate person Adam's ever met. Adam doesn't even mind when Charlie teases him over his absurd and juvenile insults because he's just this source of light for Adam, supporting him and always pushing him to be the best version of himself. His ex hardly even exists when Charlie's around because his energy is just so contagious that Adam starts falling for him long before he even realises it. (And when Jesse and Guy come to visit, there's a moment where it all clicks and the four of them realise their history together, however brief. I strongly maintain that they'd be that Starkid meme: "Fucking Hawks? We hated you guys!" "We hated ourselves!" But it does make Adam realise how much better off he would've been if he had Charlie and his team when he was little instead of the Hawks, and it just further makes him understand that people like Larson and Rick Riley just aren't worth it.)

But there's also another revelation Adam goes through. Between helping Casey, his rigorous studies, and his position working with/for Bombay, something just clicks for Adam. He likes being able to help people, fighting for the good guys who may not have the resources they need to be properly defended. Practicing law calls to him in the same way hockey did; it's the feeling of knowing this is what he's meant to do. He still loves hockey, he always will, but it helps him finally grasp that there's a world for him outside of it; when hockey ends for him, there's something equally as rewarding that he can pursue, which was something he never thought he would have.

I haven't a single coherent thought about this au past that point except for these little inklings of an ending--

There's absolutely no SA scene like the movie had; Bombay's just Adam and Charlie's favourite teacher and those are his boys, so he's going to make sure they succeed as if his life depends on it.

With that said, Bombay believes in them both enough to let them finish the case because with their joined determination/stubbornness (and Adam's in with the defendant), Adam and Charlie are a force to be reckoned with and he knows it.

After a handful of comedic failures, they do end up succeeding at their attempts to set Casey and Bombay up, and they start living together sometime during the kids' Junior year :) (All I'm asking is for one (1) story with a Casey/Gordon endgame-- I just think they're neat--)

Linda dumps her fiancé (as she should) and goes on to live her best wlw life as a successful lawyer. (If I'm not mistaken, Linda's actress actually is a lawyer, which is a pretty cool fun fact!!)

Adam and Linda's ex gets the Warner ending because, man, screw that guy /lh (rip to Larson if this is him, I'm sure you'll get a nice endgame in some other universe, king)

Honorary mention for Connie, who was going long distance with Guy this entire time to everyone but Jesse's shock, and they get their Game Changers endgame of State Senator Connie Moreau and stay-at-home dad Guy Germaine with their seven -- sorry, three -- children :)

Adam's an absolute bundle of nerves after graduation, which definitely concerns Charlie. So, when he asks if he's okay, Adam starts nervously monologuing about their time together until he runs out of breath. He ends it by proposing to him, and Charlie smiles so surely at him when he says yes. They both become damn good public defenders and stay engaged until the point they can legally get married, but they're practically husbands long before that happens.

Also, if I did my math right (which I should’ve, it’s my entire basis for my Share Your Address series), the Ducks’ would have the same graduating class year as Elle Woods anyway (2004), which is pretty neat!

Thank you once again for listening to me ramble :)

[imthepunchlord]

Do you have any thoughts on how the guardian role is handled lore wise? Would you change much about being the guardian?

Oh yes I do and there's so much that I would change up.

The more we see of the Guardians, the dumber they are and the more pointless they are. To a point it's a wonder if they were worth the inclusion as they don't amount to much and are just useless. I'm putting this undercut as I just go off.

- Lore wise, they set it up that adults are naturally more powerful, so why did Fu pick two kids to fight his battles for him? Why not adults? Why did he leave them on their own instead of offering them some means to have an edge over HM?

- Of the Ladybug and Cat, we have yet to see anything unique that the Cat brings to these fights that the other 15 miraculi that Fu has with him couldn't do. You need a distraction that's going to mess up the akuma? Monkey and Fox. You need a protector/aggressor? Bee, Turtle, or Dragon. Ladybug is a must as its the only cleanser so far and has ML to boot, but Cat doesn't need to be out there, and as soon as HM had quite publicly stated that he wants LB and Cat, Fu should've reclaimed the Cat immediately to secure its safety and that HM won't get both. Another or two could go out to replace it.

- Why was picking Adrien a good idea? If Fu had just arrived in Paris, ok, but Backwarder reveals he's been living in Paris for a while. And with that, he's seen Adrien's face everywhere.s Adrien is potentially the most well known kid in Pari. Technically, for Fu's want of secrecy, why pick the most iconic face in Paris to get a miraculous? That sets up one of your heroes to always have attention on him. Fu picking Adrien doesn't make any logical sense.

- Why is Fu ok with endangering one kid but not the other? Why does Marinette get a test set up that risks her life and Fu's if it hadn't gone well and Adrien just helps an old man up, a common decency that most would do. It's like two extreme differences that don't work well in comparison as Marinette gets the risky test and Adrien it looks like he got his miraculous on a silver platter as he got the far easier one that takes the least effort to be a decent human being.

- Fu being a terrible mentor and hero picker in general and the whole shebang with Syren. If Adrien is not meeting his standards or if he doesn't trust Adrien at all, why is Adrien being allowed to continue as a hero? Or if he really wants Adrien to stay, why isn't he doing anything about Adrien? Why isn't he telling Plagg to encourage Adrien to step up and get serious? If he can take on the role of being Adrien's Chinese teacher, why not do that to try and guide Adrien to improvement so he can also be trusted with Guardian secrets too and truly help Marinette out. He's got two options when he doesn't trust Adrien or finds that he's meeting his standards: he takes the miraculous back or he addresses this issue himself.

- I also call big BS about him not doing anything at all when he comes upon Adrien detransformed on the roof with Plagg. Cause he's risking himself going out to find Chat Noir only to find him detransformed. That realistically should raise some brows and concern him. Adrien at least should've gotten a lecture or warning.

- Also the reveal that kwamis aren't allowed to know about their own power. that to me is off putting. It really stresses that kwamis are beneath them, these very ancient and powerful beings that have probably seen a lot. And canon validates it by making them children (which to me is the writers being lazy so they don't have to do complex characters).

- The whole thing with Fu's backstory. Dumbest backstory I've ever heard and it just paints Guardians in a really bad light, and by extension, real life monks. Monks didn't go to people's homes to take children. If they did take kids with them, those kids had nowhere else to go and offered them a place to stay until old enough to be on their own. And that test, omg, wtf. Ok, I can get the idea of a test of temptation, but there are other ways to perform it without starving a kid. Especially leaving said kid alone unsupervised with 19 powerful miraculi two of which have wish granting abilities. How would the Guardians even know if Fu used a miraculous as they left him alone with mriaculi. If Fu wanted to, he could've made a wish to never be picked.

- Fu didn't even do shit when he finally had a chance to face off against HM. He just sat in his damb ball and allowed himself to get knocked around. At least try and roll over him! Be a ping-pong ball! DO SOMETHING. Like, why did you even pick Turtle??? Turtle wasn't able to do anything against Butterfly! I thought it could as Fu had been ready to go in Origins, plus the 5 are based off Wu Xing, by set up, Fox and Turtle should have some sort of an edge over the Butterfly. But I guess that means there could be other options aside form LB and we can't have that, Marinette's miraculous needs to be the only thing to take on the Butterfly to really stress on the fact that it comes down to only her.

- The memory wipe thing that's an apparently must when you retire from being the Guardian. Honestly I think that should've been saved as a last resort if you're ever captured and could be forced to leak info, not when you retire. Doing so removes a valid source of advisement that a new Guardian can rely on. History is there to learn from it and this tradition removes a source of history to learn from, either from having guidance or seeing what the old did and how you want to change things. This also makes me concerned as I see Adrien taking advantage of an amnesiac Marinette.

- I went off about the NY Special revealing there's more Orders here.

- And lastly, Su-Han, the other Guardian to see aside from Fu. And with him, it solidifies how stupid they all are. When the Butterfly is being misused in Paris, why is someone aggressive and judgmental coming to Paris? Why is this guy even working with kids when he doesn't like kids? And the reveal that Guardians don't use miraculi at all. That just makes that test all the dumber with testers being unsupervised. And for Guardians not meant to use miraculi, how come Marinette gets a nice perk as LB that she can pull a miraculous out of her yo-yo? They're probably playing that she's "the first" to do so but realistically, I'm pressing x to doubt. In the long history of miraculi and when Guardians were around, you expect me to believe that Guardians never used miraculi themselves? What if there was no one to turn to, do they just the disaster happen? ...Well, based on how terrible canon is setting them up, I wouldn't be surprised.

SO.

There is a lot I would change up about the Guardians and for this, I'll adjust canon.

- Adrien gets the ring another way, maybe a gift from his mom or aunt or grandparents. Realistically, there's no logical reason for Fu to pick Adrien. He just has too much attention on him and Chat being an unexpected miraculous user can make him wary, adding to him only trusting Marinette.

- I'd have Fu be more present in Marinette's life, a customer who comes in a lot. This way he can offer advise when needed but not take away from Tikki. And this has him more closely keeping an eye on things.

- I'd change up Fu's backstory. He got separated from his family in a flood, the previous Turtle saved him, tried to help him find his family and with no luck, took him to the Temple, but only the section where other orphans are where they work to help take care of it, oblivious to the miraculous near them. After a year, Fu is one of the few selected to be entrusted with miraculous knowledge. He's surprised but not all that for it as he'd rather go find his family still. Idk how Temple falls but its not that. That was just dumb and avoidable.

- I wouldn't have Adrien meet Fu at all. In truth, it actually could've been cut out entirely as Adrien meeting Fu didn't amount to anything. He doesn't help with Guardian duties, doesn't help pick heroes, hasn't stepped up at all in his role as a partner. And he's not as torn up about Fu's loss as Marinette is. Adrien meeting Fu was pointless in the grand scheme of things. Nothing was progressed or changed from Adrien meeting Fu.

- I'd have HM ONLY getting an edge on Fu because Mayura was there to help him, catching Fu off guard. I want to see the Turtle truly in action, to see what else it can do cause sitting there to be smacked around was just unimpressive. And if Asstruck even did as much research as he could, he'd know that in Chinese mythology, the Turtle is a boss. It's the keeper of history and symbol of immortality, and it's up there with Tiger as an animal that can go toe to toe with the Dragon. And of the Four Symbols (associated with 4 seasons), the Black Turtle is also known as the Black Warrior. There should've been a lot more to Turtle than just sitting in your shell and allowing yourself to be knocked around.

- Su-Han I'd drastically change up. I'd keep in him being critical and stern, but he approaches things smartly and patiently. Before he dives into aggression and accusations, he wants to know what's going on. Why does this 14 yo have the Miracle Box? How was the Butterfly obtained and misused? And what the hell is going on??? How are these people so small and how did they get into this thin glass box?? Computer? What's a computer??? Essentially, have fun with the fact that Su-Han is essentially a time traveler and one great bonding experience to have with Marinette while also offering some good comedy is him learning about the modern time and her acting as his guide. Su-Han can give her guidance that Fu hadn't been able to give, and Marinette can offer her own in a way that Su-Han will need. Which by extension could remove Marinette having a near mental breaking point and revealing herself to Alya, and could avoid some of that drama of what's coming.

- Speaking of which, Adrien. I'd use Su-Han to finally address the issues with Adrien as a hero and partner. Su-Han prioritized Marinette as she has the Miracle Box, but Adrien is someone he'd take the miraculous away from. Adrien would get a very clear warning and call out for his actions and role.

[writers-worst-nightmare]

Till new flowers bloom (Lance x reader):

Ask: Hey! :D Just saw that your requests are open, so I thought I could tell you one of my favorite fanfic ideas: How about a Lance (from VLD) x Reader fanfic in which he and the reader eventually start dating post-canon. Everything is absolutely perfect, but he’s a unsure about saying the words ‘I love you’ for the first time. Not because he’s unsure about his feelings, but because he doesn’t want to lose another person that he loves. But, with the help of his friends, he eventually finds the courage, arranges an amazing date, and tells the reader how much they mean to him, and promises to protect them with anything he can.

A/N: this was fun to do! I love the idea of a sensitive Lance (almost as much as a sensitive Keith)

Warning(s): the fluff to angst might kill some readers

Pairing(s): Lance x reader

Word Count: 2,579

Request are always open!

Lance and you had been together since the eighth grade in middle school. You guys fit perfectly together, you where more in the calm side of things while Lance was always up and about. You still remember the day that he said he loved you…it was very…well…Lance to say the least…

***

“Y/NNNNNNNNN!!!!!” Lance yelled, phone gripped tightly in his hands, you perked up and cocked your left brow slightly upwards. The brown-haired male rarely talked to you, but you didn’t take it as a offense. You didn’t talk unless it was required to by a teacher or you where in trouble for something you didn’t do (that happened more often then you would think, the shy and quiet kids always get blamed for the things the loud kids do. Always.

“What?” You inquired, leaning back in your chair as Lance propped his phone up on your water bottle and gave you a sly smirk. Your eyes clouded with even more confusion as Lance went on tiktok and started to playing Electric Love.

”Do you know this trend?” Lance asked, you shook your head ‘no’ before lightly humming to yourself.

”No, but the song sounds nice,” you commented slowly. Picking out your words as carefully as a old lady picking out beautiful blooming flowers for her husbands funeral.

“I know it does…” Lance smoothed talked, doing the classic bisexual finger guns as you. You giggled at the boys attempt to get your attention. But just as the song picked up to the chorus Lance pulled you in by the collar of your shirt and kissed you roughly. You tensed up, muscles bunching up in the toughness that held in the kiss. But, soon, you found it to be comforting and relaxed slightly. Lance pulled away from you and smiled brightly.

”I am guessing this means that you like me?” You giggled, staring at Lance as he curled into you and hide his face in the crook of your neck. You felt your body temperature go up slightly as you hugged Lance back and laid your chin on his back.

***

It was short and sweet, anything that somebody could dream of in Middle School. The tiktok bad blown up to massive number and got both you and Lance a following (your followers demanding more Lance x you content, and you happily gave them it). The relationship through half of high school and training pilot school was so sweet. Even when Voltron was formed you guys stuck together likes two peas and a pod.

But one thing differed

One thing stuck out to you

It was always the same thing…

You would sat the words ‘I love you’ and wait for a response

But it never happened. He never responded with ‘I love you too’ or anything. He would just seem happy that you said you loved him and carried on with the day as if nothing happened. The crew started to pick up on slight hints but nobody got it! They would just say that Lance was being nice and shy but you knew the Cuban boy more then anybody. If you had to describe him personality wise ‘shy’ and ‘quiet’ are some words that too wouldn’t use. Lance's personality is very complex, as he has shown several different, often conflicting sides throughout the course of your relationship with him (even in the classmate side of things way back when). He can be very egotistical, cocky, confrontational, and arrogant at times. At other times, he is friendly, kind, reflective, and shows great intelligence. He is usually the first to make light of a delicate situation, either by joking around or flirting. Lance is noted for his poor-timed or vulgar humor at times, noted by him ripping a fart as a joke. Lance's friendly and outgoing personality allows him to connect with mostly everyone (maybe not as much with Keith) despite their many differences. Around girls, however, Lance tends to focus on flirting, sometimes neglecting his teammates. Lance is brave, adventurous, friendly, and free-spirited, often howling like a wild man during his fights and adventures, showcasing his unrestrained love for what he does. However the moments he is able to let go of those feelings are the times he is able to do the most for his team. He can be quite sensitive, reflective, and distant at times when his teammates are not around or when his guard is lowered. Lance is shown to be quite homesick, deeply missing the Earth and desiring to return to his family, reminiscing on the beach near his home, splashing in puddles, and experiencing rainfall. This is one of the few times he appears sad and he is unwilling to let his friends witness it.

He is often impulsive, not very in control of his emotions and often loses the gravity of the team's mission to dreams of glory, praise, and being the center of attention. Lance reacts angrily when Keith doesn't prioritize the shows Voltron is putting on to gain support, and he is easily the most enthusiastic of the Paladins about performing in front of a crowd. Lance tends to get caught up in the way that he sees the world rather than the way things actually are. Because of this, he is noted to be the least perceptive of his team. Lance was the only one fooled by Pidge's disguise as a boy. He also sees many of Keith's comments as insulting or aggressive when Keith does not appear to mean them that way because Lance believes Keith is his rival, and the "rivalry" between them is entirely Lance's own creation. Lance is insecure about his own abilities and placement on the team, and so often acts as though he has something to prove. Lance admits that he doesn't see himself as one of Voltron's best warriors and suggests that he may not be the best choice for a Paladin of Voltron. Contrastingly, Lance often shows a high degree of situational awareness and tactical skill while on missions, as shown when he corrected Keith's errors twice to protect the Balmera from harm from Keith's reckless attacks. When meeting the Blade of Marmora for the first time, Lance pointed out to Shiro that Keith would become angry and attack someone if taken on the mission. While this was most likely said because of his rivalry with Keith, Lance was correct in his assessment of Keith's character, as Keith's antagonistic nature created tension with the Blade when they discovered the knife in his possession.

Following Shiro's disappearance after the temporary defeat of Zarkon, Lance matured rapidly. He became far more serious in his missions and coordinating battles with his allies. During this time, he also lost much of his animosity towards Keith. Although initially desiring to be leader himself, Lance accepted the Black Lion's choice of Keith as Paladin. He becomes a much more supportive member of the team and steps up to take more of a tactical advisor's role, not sugar-coating his criticism of Keith's leadership tactics but supporting him to move forward all the same. Lance's acceptance by the Red Lion as its new pilot echoes King Alfor: acting as a right hand, trusting the Black Paladin to be a better leader than himself in battle, giving assistance when needed, and supporting his friends.

So he would often be the side character that got only a small amount of screen time and often bullies by other characters and the fandom. Although you loved him and all of his moments. Whether he is sad, cocky, sensitive, or doesn’t say the three words ‘I love you’ back whenever you say it.

It was the complete opposite for you

If someone where to describe you they would say that you where sometimes flirty but not as level headed as Lance. You used to be shy but you think that phase has left your body now (as least you hope with dating the one and only Lance McClain). Usually you flirted a lot with Pidge friendship wise and Pidge would always joke about killing Lance and getting together with you. You woud laugh and laugh as Lance fears for his own life in the corner. But other then the teasing with your best friend Pidge a lot of people labeled you as kind and understanding. You where the one to talk Keith out of leaving the moment he knew who is Mother is. Instead he stayed for a little longer. And when Keith left you defended him with your life. Sometimes arguments would burst out in Shiro saying that you cared more about Keith then you any other teammates. And maybe he was right, but you admired Keith in some way. He was the person that did what you didn’t want to do. The one thing that every half-breed thought of doing but never did in the end. When the days where off and you could relax a playful pillow fight would often kick off or you could be seen watching some anime (usually the gore stuff but sometimes you couldn’t help but watch Ouran High School Host Club souly based on the fact that Haruhi was there and it is Haruhi).

Maybe you where the toxic one in the relationship, maybe you needed to fix something and do something right.

“Y/n?” Pidge asked, snapping you out of your daydream and into reality. Sighing heavily you let down your guard and turned back on your mic to reach out to your non-binary teammate.

“Yes Pidge?” You called through the mic of your helmet. The slight grief that you felt for Lance handing thickly in your throat. You might have gotten use to if. Used to the feeling that Lance was never going to say ‘I love you’ in your relationship but it still felt worse then getting knocked down by Zarkon when you had a tom of weapons and he had none.

“Something happened to Lance I need you to—“ Pidge was cut off by the sound of you racing to get the rest of your uniform on. You where at the spaceship of backup was needed, although they rarely ever needed you. So you just wore your helmet (you thought it looked pretty cool). You pulled the purple uniform over your head and rushed into your lion.

“OPEN UP PURPLE!!” You called, clearly in a hurry. You grabbed your purple taser that Shiro had given everyone at the start of the mission and went in the mouth of Purple.

You where the purple Paladin, usually the person who has the purple Paladin is connected to royalty somehow. Everyone wanted to talk about it but you always ignored them when it came up in discussion.

The truth is that you are Zarkon’s child, being raised on the planets and then brought down to Earth when a war happened. You where raised by a old lady who found you left alone in the cold and brought you in. She fed you and kept you safe although she didn’t know what you truly where (she just guessed you where a human like everyone else on Earth). You covered up the marks on your face unlike Keith. You didn’t want to leave yet. You couldn’t leave…if you left then what would Lance do? No, you won’t be like Keith and leave your friends and boyfriend to rot in the spaceship while war goes plundering on like a lighting storm all around you. You may be Zarkon’s kid but you weren’t like him at all. You weren’t like Keith. You were y/n. And if you had to die to prove it, then so be it. Purple halted in front of Red. Your eyes widened as you saw Lance, he looks beaten up to the point of near death. Your breath hitched in your throat as you jumped out of your seat, making sure to grab the first-aid kit and then bang on Purple’s door to open faster.

“LANCE!!!” You screeched when Purple finally opened the door to let you out. Blue was beat up badly also, parts of Blue’s body was falling off and their usually clear crystal blue eyes where now dusty and clouded with thought. You found a gap in Blue and rushed in to save Lance’s life. “LANCE!!!” You exclaimed, going to Lance’s side and shaking him rapidly. Thick tears starting to prick at the corners of your eyes.

“HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA SJSNEURKNR AHAHHAHAHA!!!!” Keith howled in laughter. You whipped your head around and stared at the black-haired male. You fumbled with your pocket and pulled out the taser. Soon Lance joined in on the laughing as well. Both of them howling like maned wolves on a full moon.

“What are you two laughing at?!” You huffed, arms crossed and staring at the two boys. Soon the rest of the Paladin‘s arrived. All of them laughing together.

“Come in love…let’s get away from them…” Lance suggested, standing up on his own and taking you away. You didn’t have time to notice it before but now you looked around where you stood and there was a bunch of blooming flowers around the place. A small park where some kids sat at the dark navy blue coated bench and watched in awe at the lions and the two of you like you where some superhero’s flying through the sky.

“Where are we going?” You asked, leaning against Lance’s arm and intertwining fingers with him.

“You will see.” Lance chuckled, you rolled your eyes and started following Lance. Totally embraced in the fact that he was still alive. His scent smelled like the fresh clean breeze and coconut mixed together in the most perfect way.

Soon, the two of you went to a small opening in the park, kids where gathered around and staring at you with excitement filling their eyes. “Y/n! Can you read me a story?” One of the kids begged, the kids had curly blonde hair and round blue eyes. You nodded your head and sat down to pick up the book. You opened your mouth to start resting it to the blonde-haired girl before Lance coughed. You turned around and couldn’t believe the sight in front of your eyes. It was Lance on one knee, a dark purple case in his hands and a warm smile on his face. You looked for any sign of joking or a prank but all you could see was admirable and love for you in his tired dark blue eyes.

“I know this is kind of out of plan, but you know what? I am like that…so…” Lance trailed off, looking into your eyes. You stared at each other in silence before Lance spoke again. “I love you…and I am sorry that I hadn’t said it to you in all these years of us being together…but I hope I will make it up you…so y/n, will you make me the luckiest man on Earth and take this ring…?” Lance asked, pulling out the ring from the box. The ring had a small diamond but in it was a lavender flower inside. On the inner ring it had the lyrics for Electric Love in Lance’s handwriting.

“I guess McClain isn’t that bad of a last name…” You teased. Lance laughed softly before he took the ring into his hands and slipped it on your ring finger as a final say that you two where going to get married soon.

[bigskydreaming]

Interesting. Another week where I liked all the X-books that came out. Must’ve been cuz there was no Duggan in the mix.

New Mutants was one of the better issues since Ayala took over. I haven’t loved all of their issues, though enjoyed them for the most part, but this one I could really see everything start to come together that they’ve been seeding from their start. I wanna reread once next issue comes out and see whether it works better overall to read the full arc in one sitting. Also it might be that the Otherworld stuff was a forced detour they had to make and that threw off the pacing. We’ll see. 

But the kids with Gabby was such a sweet moment, and its so nice to see them all on the same side when it comes to Farouk......but Farouk’s motivations and the little interlude about the boy call back to Ayala’s first issue and it looks like the suspicions laid back then were true. Its almost certain that the Shadow King is actually an amalgamation or even just a full on puppet of an Amenthi demon who merged with or possessed Amahl Farouk as a child and using him as a host, has been all about trying to make this world match the one it came from, based on the same ideals Annihilation espoused. 

Basically, Amahl is not the same as the Shadow, the Shadow is trying to turn Krakoa into a new version of Arakko, and if I’m interpreting one panel of the art right, I think Xi’an (who seemed to have her suspicions back at the start of this arc too) just sensed another presence for the first time - and she’s the one who knows the Shadow King’s psyche best after all - and she’s figured out that there’s a separate Amahl Farouk consciousness hidden somewhere inside him. And given that second ‘demonstration’ interlude and the fact that the New Mutants are now nowhere to be found in the Shadow King’s mindscape, I’m guessing she managed to shunt them from the part the Shadow King controlled, into whatever part the original boy Amahl is hiding in.

Excalibur was one of its better issues. I’m far more interested in the politics of Otherworld than the political shit in X-Force, Mordred being a mutant is an actually interesting twist, and the idea that Arthur is making his son’s betrayal a self-fulfilling prophecy by attacking mutantkind because he believes Mordred will inevitably side with them as a mutant has some interesting possibilities. It was also unexpectedly....nice, to see like, the whole family Braddock fighting on the same side for probably the first time ever, lol, from Betsy to Brian to Meggan to Jamie.....Jim Jaspers remains a wildcard I’m wary of because like, lol I’ve read the original stories of him and it seems this writer has too, and I want someone to bring up that he’s keeping Redroot captive and make some kind of issue about that, especially now that Death has been brought back into the mix and Betsy’s offered to help him escape Sevalith. 

(Only to have him say no, he’s working - lol anyone else think Death’s trying to pull off a one-man coup and take over Sevalith for mutantkind and do his Daddy Dearest proud? Or given that he’s obviously still crushing on Ororo, even after - well I mean, probably BECAUSE she kicked his ass and left him for dead.....I could TOTALLY see them playing this as like, part of some weird courtship attempt of his. The only way he feels he can woo her as an equal is to come to her with a kingdom of his own or some shit like that. Idk, we’ll see. He’s definitely up to something though, but I do believe him when he says that ultimately he’s on the same side as the rest of them).

I liked that they haven’t forgotten about the other Rogue, Gambit and Rictor Captains, I liked Roma’s conversation with Jubilee about Shogo and the foreshadowing there, as well as Jubilee’s response and her clear conflict.....Merlyn can fucking die in a fire already, please and thank you, ugh, enough with this old shithead.....oh I LOVED that someone is FINALLY doing something with Bei, and it does make sense for it to be Excalibur though I figured it would’ve happened in New Mutants by now. But she and Shatterstar make a fun odd duo, and actually Star’s comment to Brian about being a new friend too like, lol, okay, I’m kinda here for a trio of Brian, Star and Bei to be like a Krakoan Warrior Three who are all united by their perspective as like, lifelong combatants and being outsiders among the rest of Krakoa even if Shatterstar and Bei are technically still mutants too. It makes sense.

Hmm, what else. Would love to see Bei’s thoughts on Death and Redroot, all things considered, and have something to do with those plotlines in the future. And really in general I’m here for this big all-kingdom smackdown with Sevalith, Hothive, Mercador, the Furies and Merlyn’s kingdom all arrayed against Krakoa and Avalon. Of course, these are still only the Foul Kingdoms. Roma and the rest of the Fair Kingdoms so far don’t seem to have any real problem with witchbreed....but this arc is still only getting started. Still waiting for Mordred’s inevitable entrance....curious to see what his power is, and especially if HE even knew he was a mutant before now.

Also: JULIO AND SHATTERSTAR CUDDLES. WE HAVE WAITED 84 YEARS FOR THIS.

And as for Hellions....

Okay, I didn’t actually love Hellions, its kinda on...layaway. I liked a lot of the fallout of last issue, I liked that the stakes are so apparent here, but I’m gonna be bothered by a lot of stuff unless there’s some kind of plot twist that reveals that Kwannon’s daughter is still alive somehow. Like maybe Sinister lied about not having another back-up JUST to ensure he still had one last card to bargain with up his sleeve since he lost the ‘in’ he had with the Hellions now, and with the Council now aware of his secret experiments with Arraki DNA (and bringing Tarn down on their heads in a way that COULD have started a full on war with them if Ororo hadn’t handled it for them)....like point is, all eyes are going to be on him for awhile now and he has very few cards left to play or people in his corner, so I’m HOPING that there’s another plot twist coming in the last couple issues there. 

Because if Kwannon’s daughter is ACTUALLY dead....it really doesn’t sit well with me that the first real mutant death in an age of literal immortality for the rest of them (since even Gorgon and Rockslide technically are still alive in SOME sense)....like for that to be Kwannon’s daughter, the only real innocent in all of this, and having been held hostage to this storyline the whole time, and only existing to force Kwannon’s hand in all of this....yeah. No. Thank you, do not like, that better not be all there is to this. I never trust anything Sinister says as a general rule, so I’m not gonna believe him about that having been the only back-up of her daughter until its wholly proven otherwise.

Other thoughts.....I like that Emma knows that she fucked up, I like that Emma DID have her own kinda failsafe in place because she didn’t trust Sinister for shit, I like that she was RIGHT not to trust Sinister for shit and that her fail-safe stopped even worse shit from happening....I DON’T like that her fail-safe literally just made Alex a weapon of mass destruction with no awareness he even was one and someone else’s hand (let alone fucking MANUEL’S on the trigger)....I DON’T like Emma looking all pained at how devastated Alex is when that was the inevitably outcome of this particular failsafe, like sorry Emma but if what it did to Alex was really that big a problem for you, you should have found a different failsafe.....and I REALLY REALLY don’t like Emma effectively just offering up Maddy’s resurrection as essentially a bribe to ‘fix’ what had happened to HIM, like....if you guys could have made the case for Maddy’s resurrection before now, it should have been for Maddy’s sake, not as like....a cheer-up tactic for fucking Alex, and DEFINITELY not to ‘fix’ a mess that still resulted in Kwannon’s daughter’s death (unless of course there’s a twist there).

Oh and I also meant to say there BETTER be fallout once Scott discovers Emma and Manuel’s role in all of this. I could definitely see Scott like, interceding on John’s behalf if he manages to pull of killing Empath, because like....he’d kinda want to do it himself. This is one of those times where I REALLY wish they’d spend more time developing where Gabe fits in with the Summers brothers now, relationship wise, because like, just show him giving any kind of shits for Alex as his older brother like, at all, and you can EASILY justify Gabe going full wrath-of-omega-mutant on Empath, and what’s the Council gonna do to one of their prized omega mutants, especially one who’s already been imprisoned on Krakoa for Xavier’s mistakes in decades past? 

Actually damn, now THERE’S a consequence-arc I’d love to see, because imagine Gabe helping John go after Empath, and then the Council really trying to throw HIM in the Hole for that, and then Scott being like uh no, remember the events of Deadly Genesis? The fuck I’m gonna stand by and allow that, Xavier you still owe him for that shit, especially since this resurrected version of him never did all the shit Emperor Vulcan did, at least as far as he knows. Or THEN ALSO I could see him getting Storm to back him up on this and she gets the Arraki to be like, well we owe this mutant a debt of gratitude for his role in making our new home, and actually his actions sound totally acceptable, we’re honestly not sure what the problem is, actually he sounds more like us than you so we’re happy to offer him sanctuary, and then the Council would shit their pants because they don’t want to lose an omega mutant to their war-like cousins since you KNOW more than a few of them are making contingencies in case they ever have to fight them again, and like, it’d split the loyalties of the entire Summers Clan in doubt and just...tons of story possibilities there. Lots to consider.

Eh, that’s not where they’re going with this at all though, so whatever. I’ll actually be really surprised if they do end up writing John as managing to successfully kill Empath.

Last thoughts.....this was weirdly the first time they EVER made me give a crap about Nanny? They managed to make me more interested in her in one issue than they have in her previous thirty-five years of existence, gave her more DEVELOPMENT in one issue than in all of that time, and when she was willing to sacrifice her just to save the orphanage from being destroyed I was like, holy shit. I....like...her?

And then they fucking ruined it all the very next page with how they had her react to Peter, and their ominous as fuck final epitaph. I’ll wait on deciding my full thoughts and feelings about that, and see just WHAT Peter ends up doing as a result....I have a feeling things are not going to end well for him and we might be close to seeing the last of him, especially with the inferences they’ve made about how destructive Peter’s true power is - whatever the hell it actually is. Like, Peter, at least, I can see the Council being more than willing to leave in the Hole, or just....put at the back of the resurrection queue for the rest of eternity. Which is shitty but would be perfectly in keeping with them and also I don’t actually know what he’s going to do yet.....like, is it going to be some bullshit like HE tries to destroy the Nursery or some shit because Nanny wanted to save it, or more likely is it gonna be something like he goes to the Right and betrays Krakoa or whatever and gives them valuable intel or something like that? Idk. 

Finally - YES MADDY’S COMING BACK. And she’s gonna be pisssssssed. Like, I don’t see how they’re planning to approach that, like....I’m expecting Xavier to try some serious editing on her back-up to maneuver WHICH point in time Maddy will come back remembering up to, because uh....that’s gonna matter a lot. But since this is all happening against his objections in the first place, and this seems more like Emma’s personal crusade to try and make up for her part in all this, I wouldn’t be surprised if Maddy comes back with full memories up to her most recent back-up.....which means she’s going to still be full on hating all of them, being like FUCK Krakoa AND your amnesty for all mutants I just want you all to burn, and oh yeah, on TOP of all that its inevitable she’s going to find out how much some of them FOUGHT to keep her from being resurrected, like....? Oh there is like only a 1 or 2% chance this ends any way other than TERRIBLY for everyone concerned.

(And yet I still hope they pull it off, because I don’t want her back just for one or two more issues, I want her back longterm. Ideally, I’d love her to take Jean’s place on the Council and pull it off with the support of like Mystique and Emma and Destiny and others as a giant fuck you to Xavier, but I’d also settle for her ditching Krakoa for Arakko and being like these are more my kinda people and also you can’t do shit to me here).

Oh and PS - lolololololol forever at Hank fucking McCoy trying to give Emma shit for her actions here. Like I mean, at least he’s AWARE he has literally no leg to stand on, whatsoever? I mean, I guess there’s that? But still. LMFAO OMG SHUT UP HANK YOU LITERALLY DON’T GET TO SAY SHIT ABOUT ANYONE ELSE BEING SHADY EVER.

Edit: Oh and also I forgot - I need to know how MUCH the Council found out about Sinister’s experiments, in particular if they found out he was ALREADY experimenting with making chimera mutants, like way ahead of schedule according to Moira’s LAST life in Powers of X, when like, the chimera mutants were a recent development as of a full hundred years in the future from now. Like, that changes a LOT and I would love to know what Xavier, Moira and Magneto think of that accelerated timetable and how it might change things.

[filmmakerdreamst]

Xena: Warrior Princess Review

During Pride Month 2020, I finally got around to watch ‘Xena’. A show that had been in my to-watch list for years, but never got around to start. And when I finally did, I was pleasantly surprised. It was not what I expected and it was everything I think my 11 year old self would have loved.

The one thing that surprised me about the show, was the lack of packaging. Even though it was a fantasy, it also played with different kinds of genres too. I’ve talked about this before in my other review - ‘Xena’ was made at a time when TV had very few rules/rarely had a set audience, since there were parts of the show that were clearly for kids and there were other parts that were clearly for adults (therefore had much more flexibility). I admired how they weren’t afraid to break barriers and touch on deep themes such as religion, morality, redemption, spirituality, motherhood, forgiveness etc - even more than shows of today are able. I also loved how they played into the idea of ‘murder’ and how much it can damage a person - not just the person who commits the act, but the many people affected afterwards. I wasn’t expecting it to be that extreme. It made me think that this must of been the inspiration for ‘Game of Thrones’. 

I see a lot of comments here and there, saying how ‘cheesy and terrible’ it was but to just accept it because its part of the fun. And while like any show it does suffer from the occasional spell of bad writing (the whole of season 5) but it was also shown to be very aware of that fact and never took itself too seriously - unlike some shows I could mention. 

And regarding the ‘cheese’ factor (what 90s show wasn’t) It definitely can be, but I would call it ‘camp’ and ‘experimental’ more than anything else. (Don’t diss the poor use of CGI - I’m personally sympathetic to what was avaliable to them at the time) The style of humour reminded me of Taika Waititi’s filmmaking. If you’ve watched any of his films such as ‘Hunt for The Wilderpeople’ or ‘Jojo Rabbit’, then you know what I’m talking about. I liked how little they cared about being accurate or logical, which added to the ‘bonkers’ element in the show - which you can see in all of Taika Waititi’s films.

In all seriousness, a show centered around two women in their late twenties, who are realistic sizes (not trying to play teenagers). One of whom is a reformed mass murderer, who has lived a life experience, trying to do good in the world for the first time, picking the other one up who has no life experience prior (after they bugged them until they said ‘ok fine’) in their path to redemption. Just two women who become friends travelling the world together, fighting crime, having a laff, learning from one another without any toxicity - when suddenly when the stakes are raised - they realise ‘oh I'm actually falling in love with this person’ I have watched a lot of badly written shows in my childhood enough to know that, that’s not ‘cheesy’. I’ve never seen a story like that in my entire life. I’m not at all surprised that Russel T Davis was inspired by it while writing the Doctor and Rose’s relationship in ‘Doctor Who’ since he’s gay himself.

What’s more amazing about their love story is how they’re both develop as separate people as well. There was this video essay explaining ‘Why you should watch Angel’ the spin off series to Buffy; how ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer ‘was all about growing up and ‘Angel’ was all about being an adult. With Xena: Warrior Princess, you have both of those stories at the same time. 

Xena’s character was such a multifaceted experience to watch. And I can’t imagine anyone else who could play her as well as Lucy Lawless. What planet did they get that actress from? She's flawless! The amount of skill she has to put herself into a very physical role is astonishing. I personally had a love/hate relationship with her character all series long. Not in the way that I hated her, just that I couldn’t trust if she was all good or bad, which I know was intentional on the writers part. I haven’t seen a character quite like her before. She felt very much like a fallen angel; almost like the villain of her own story. Some of my favourite episodes come from fleshing out her character and dark past (‘Locked up and Tied Down’ is one of them) which reminds the audience that's she's not the stereotypical hero everyone expects. I loved her transformation from being this incredibly stoic warrior to being content and happy with who she is in season six, all because of a woman she fell in love with along the way. 

I’ve always thought of Gabrielle as the real hero and narrator of ‘Xena’. She’s the prime example of ‘a normal person becoming extrodinary’. Gabrielle’s coming of age story starting out as an innocent girl from a poor village dreaming of adventure, and ending as this vicious warrior who realises the ‘adventure’ wasn’t how she made it out to be is honestly the best character arc that I’ve ever seen. I loved how travelling with Xena made her realise her passion for writing (which was never going to happen in her home town, given the ‘sexist’ and ‘heteronormative’ ideas) and that she became a amazon princess like Xena. In regards to her sexuality, which is more up for debate than Xena’s (which I think we can all agree is bisexual) I personally interpret her as gay, just in terms of how she was written. Theres this moment in season 4 where she's being held up her hair, and Xena “symbolically” cuts it off ‘freeing her’. And she never really gets with a man afterwards, unless she’s being ‘possessed. It reminded me of a moment in one of Hayao Miyasaki’s films ‘Laputa, Castle in the Sky’ where the bad guy Moska shoots Sheeta’s ‘princess hair off’ which symbolises her transition from child to adult.

The cinematography was breathtaking. There was some great utilisation of New Zealand as the scenery. So was the soundtrack. You could tell it was made by experienced filmmakers. One of my favourite things about the show was the domestic elements - moments in the show where time seemed to stop - which made the world around the characters seem very real and magical. Even though it was a show that featured a lot of action/adventure, there was also this gentleness to it as well. For example, you could feel the wetness of the rain, the warmth of the sun and the clashing of the waves. This technique is used in Hayao Miayasaki’s work a lot .

The technique is referred to as ‘MA’ 空虚 meaning emptiness in Japanese. ‘Miyasaki describes this as the time between a clap’

“If you just have non stop action, with no breathing space at all, its just busyness. But if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension” - Hayao Miyasaki

The episode ‘A Day in the Life’ in season two is a really good example of this technique being used.

To my understanding, they used a lot of the local actors in New Zealand, which according to Lucy Lawless, consisted of ‘African immigrants and other different ethnicites’. It was so refreshing to see such a diverse show (despite some slip ups) especially in the 90s. I appreciated the idea that if the actors or extras couldn’t do an ‘american accent’ people could just talk in their natural speech which was also very refreshing. 

The LGBT representation was surprisingly amazing. I never expected so many queer characters in one show - especially under the censors. There was this one episode where they had a trans woman - played by an actual trans actress - win a beauty contest. It made me cry. Not to mention the actress was an aids activist. It was actually Lucy Lawless’ idea to kiss her which was incredibly controversial at that time considering how everyone thought you could catch aids just by kissing. I can definitey see how it validated people back in the 90s.

When people told me that Xena: Warrior Princess was one of the greatest love stories, I thought they were exaggerating a little. But no, watching the show in context, I found out that it really is. Despite its obvious restrictions, It made me realise (regarding token gay couples today) how often television writers rely on physicality and drama to convey a ‘love story’ and how much of it is actually pandering the audience. One of the reasons why Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship felt so genuine is because it was built on mutual respect/compassion and they were also best friends. I felt like I was witnessing something very real and private. It didn’t need kissing scenes or drama to make it interesting. 

It really helped that most of the writers were queer also. There’s this opening scene in season 4, panning over to Gabrielle giving Xena a massage (metaphor for sex - because they weren’t able to show that on screen) which I consider to be one of the most iconic scenes in media - considering how I wanted to sick up my supper when I watched the 10 minute ‘empty’ explicit sex scene in ‘Blue in the Warmest Colour’. The difference when something is written by a queer women vs a straight man.

Because the creators weren’t allowed to write their love story in the normal way, due to the studio forbidding them to, they found creative ways to showcase that love on screen - which made for a very magical/sensual experience. And I can safely say, if anyone has doubts about watching ‘Xena’, whenever I expected to be queer baited at a few points in the show, I was proved wrong time and time again. It’s the most romantical show I’ve ever seen in my life!

[mallowstep]

When I think of Hestia, I more often than not think of her role as the link between men and the Olympians and her privileged position in receiving both the first and last offerings in any rite, both civic and domestic. I'm curious if that aspect of her played any part in picking the association for the title or if it was mostly/exclusively about the domestic/protrectress of hearth and home aspect of her divinity.

it's about a lot. it's about.

actually. there wasn't a Specific quote on my mind, but this quote is what like. this is what i was thinking of.

not with the thought that I shall be saved, but to make sure that my slayers will involve themselves in an act of impiety against the gods

i just. i dunno. hestia as a peaceful figure but also a protective one.

hestia is an interesting figure: she is revered; she is barely mentioned. she is honoured with every sacrifice (not just those made to her); her temples are a rarity.

and what cemented why i wanted to use her was this:

no ancient source or myth describes such a surrender

which is in reference to her and dionysus. like i saw THAT and i thought of stonefur and mistyfoot and [you know The Thing] and went OH DAMN THAT'S IT WE'RE USING HESTIA BABY.

there's an element of...riverclan's leader as divine, their mate a connection between them and the clan. their deputy is...

their deputy is of the clan, yeah? but the deputy is on patrols and hunting. their deputy is of the warriors. their mate is their connection to kits and queens and elders. and i don't think i have to explain how Highly those groups are valued.

but. there is Specificity here wrt stonefur.

hestia as the goddess of the hearth has been on my mind, because i Wanted to make a connection to the hearth, but it took me stupidly long to go, "i want to connect to hearth because i want to connect to hestia."

this is Just Slightly Unfair to everyone else, but when it comes to hearth and home and:

hestia does not choose her position, she is given it. admittedly, she is given it for Exactly The Opposite reason that stonefur is, but still: i think hestia conjures up a specific image, but it...the fact that she is given her position feels very Connected.

i am Not a hellenistic scholar or Anything close to it and i won't pretend to be. i'd like to think i have a slightly stronger base of knowledge than your Standard greek mythology kid, in that i was obsessed with ancient cultures as a whole and therefore don't have the "greek mythology untethered from their society" problem, but still, not an expert and shan't pretend to be.

that all said, as i understand her, hestia wouldn't Work in riverclan's mythology. the position of keeper comes from amber, river's first mate and dawn's mother. amber is a very maternal cat, there's a lot, there are like specific funeral rites for keepers who die as keeper? did i like. i haven't said that to anyone, have i? no i haven't. yeah there are it has to do with amber anyway. on topic.

hestia wouldn't work and stonefur shouldn't work and i drew a Connection to them. right because: well. yeah. hopefully You're picking it up here lmao sorry to everyone else. i love y'all but sometimes i do in fact keep plot threads close to my chest.

anyway.

but also the keeper organizes a lot of holidays. they're...not. there's not like a Thing about when they eat but unless they're like. nursing kits. their whole thing is being responsible for camp and so forth so. they're not going to eat until elders and queens have eaten.

(which, fun fact, is not actually a rule for anyone but apprentices! in hard seasons, no warrior would be foolish enough to take prey from those who needed it. but in warmer seasons, if there's no concern of prey shortage? they wouldn't think twice about taking something off the pile.)

buuuut. after preparations have been made, the keeper can just...enjoy the holiday. they have no Specific role to fill during most of them, and everyone is in camp so like. they get the day off basically lmao. right like. someone else can manage bickering apprentices for a day.

and yeah, on those days, they eat first. well maybe not first. but. metaphorically first. like okay kits might get hungry or if it's a hard time on a holiday and they don't actually have enough prey and so on but. the Idea of it is there.

(greenleaf in particular is a good chance for local Been Sleeping Outside The Nest Since Leaffall for having a Lot of Audacity hailstar to make things up to echomist by being Doting.)

uh. but we're talking about titles.

while her role as a goddess is important: if she wasn't a goddess of the hearth, the whole title would fall apart, the title is "in offering to hestia" rather than like. something directly from her. "hestia, the bearer of good" or something. (*the bearer of good might be in reference to apollo BUT it does seem to fit with how hestia is usually described so.)

because. what is stonefur doing but continually offering up more and more of himself to riverclan? it starts with a promise every warrior makes. and then a choice he'd make for her, for them, without thinking. and then a choice they make together, because of course they do it together.

and then he doesn't have a choice.

It means when Crookedstar dies, whatever parts of Stonefur still belong to himself are given to RiverClan.

[365days365movies]

January 29-31, 2021: The Mad Max Franchise

Now that I’ve finished watching all of the Mad Max films, I can confidently say that I am indeed a fan! The journeys of the ex-cop through a post-apocalyptic landscape that just gets increasingly worse and worse. Yeah, I can dig it.

And so, I thought it’d be fitting to talk about all of these movies at once, rather than just talk about them one at a time. And I mean ALL of these movies. After all, I started this month by saying the Fury Road was my favorite action film; might as well end it talking about the movie!

Recap

Mad Max: 78%

Mad Max was a great movie, honestly. It’s also HANDS-DOWN the weakest of the quadrilogy. I think that, since this is Miller’s first film, as well as being the first in this franchise in general, this is Miller carving out this universe on screen for the first time, so it doesn’t feel as fleshed out and as stylistically unique as the succeeding films. So, it’s hard to hold that against this film. Anyway, let’s break it down a little.

Cast and Acting: It’s legitimately nice to see Mel Gibson before he became...well, Mel Gibson, at least from a cinematic standpoint. And yes, Hugh Keays-Byrne is certainly memorable as Toecutter, and is a fitting first villain to the franchise. But, uh...that’s it for standout performances. Yeah, Joanne Samuel is endearing as Jess, and I like Steve Bisley as Goose, of course. But they don’t take the spotlight in my memory as much as our main two players. Which, obviously, is fine, but I like me a good supporting character in there as well. Still, this is getting a good 8/10 from me.

Plot and Writing: Plot’s you’re pretty standard cop story. Cop is awesome, cop wants to quit to spend time with family, cop’s family is killed by the villain, cop destroys villain. Not much outside of that. The biggest thing to praise to story for is the mild universe-building given to us. And even then, there isn’t a whole lot. Not, of course, that there needs to be. Credit goes to George Miller, Byron Kennedy, and James McCausland for this 7/10.

Directing and Action: George Miller’s cutting his teeth on the celluloid for the first time, and it’s awesome...for a first-time director, anyway. As for the action: yes, please. It doesn’t have the same pageant s future entries in this franchise, but it’s certainly great at the same time. Overall, 8/10 here.

Production and Art Design: It’s beginning, even though it’s not there yet. This universe hasn’t become the post-apocalyptic hellscape that it’s going to become, but the beginnings are there. Because of this, leather might be a dominating fashion choice, but...not as much as its gonna be. But, OK, let’s stop comparing this to the rest of the franchise. On its own merits, this film looks good! Doesn’t stand out too harshly from the crowd, but it still looks quite good. So, 8/10 here, too!

Music and Editing: Tony Patterson and, yes, George Miller were the editors for this mad boy, and they sought to make an Australian film with a fast-editing style, and in a way that the film could work without sound, as well as with. They way they incorporated sound and music (by Brian May, but not the one you’re thinking) into the film would actually be incorporated as industry standard practice in general! Wow! So for all that...8/10. It’s good, but this is early in their careers, so it can be a teensy bt choppy at time. And the music’s recognizable, but not particularly memorable after the fact. But still, 8/10.

Mad Max 2 AKA The Road Warrior: 92%

This is where I start to fall in love with the franchise. The Road Warrior is where the franchise really begins for me, and it’s EXTREMELY high up on my favorite action films list for this month. Obviously not the highest, but it’s up there for sure.

Cast and Acting: Gibson’s starting to come into his own and own this character, and I think this film is where he’s at his finest as Max. Definitely the most memorable and noteworthy. Antagonists, both Vernon Wells and Wez, and Kjell Nilsson as Lord Humungus, are fanTAStic, and I love them both. Supporting cast also ain’t no slouch this time! Bruce Spence’s Gyro is a wonderful character, and extremely fun to watch. Even the settlers, like Michael Preston’s noble portrayal of Papagallo, were memorable to me. Great cast all around, and they’re getting a 9/10 from me. Why not a 10? Well, for all of those performances, there’s also Feral Kid and Toadie...so, it’s not perfect

Plot and Writing: Plot’s definitely more interesting this time around! We’ve gone into the deep end of apocalypse, as compared to the first film, and we instead get an enforcer storyline for Max. And, yeah, I love that. This movie would carve out the tone of the rest of the franchise, and there’s a reason for that: it’s great. Terry Hayes, Brian Hannant, and of course, George Miller, you guys get a 9/10 for this one, too!

Directing and Action: Right off the bat 10/10. Action is AMAZING IN THIS MOVIE, and George Miller is doing a great job with directing. Not much to say here, other than the fact that this movie looks fantastic, all the way through.

Production and Art Design: A 9/10. This is where the franchise comes into its own, and it does that with a HELL of a lot of leather and metal studs. And yeah, the villains of this movie have a BDSM vibe about them, but it’s still iconic. Not to mention that the vehicles are now taking their true, metal-modded forms. Again, 9/10.

Music and Editing: Brian May turned it UP this time, and the music here is iconic and great. Editing’s pretty good, too, although I did notice some spotty sound editing areas, like in Mad Max. For this one, 9/10 as well.

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome: 86%

I honestly wish this was rated higher for me, but there are a few issues that I did have with it. However, I gotta say, this one might be the second-highest in my heart. You know what the number one is. Still, I wanna talk about this one, because it’s what made be fall in love with the universe of this franchise.

Cast and Acting: By the time we get here, Mel Gibson is, well...Mel Gibson. He kind of stops inhabiting the role of Max at this point, and becomes the ‘80s and ‘90s action star that we’re all familiar with. So instead, the focus should be on the villains. Tina Turner! WHOOOOOO, Aunty Entity! Look, I love Lord Humungus, but Tina Turner definitely beats him in terms of character. And I might like Wez, but I love MasterBlaster, and...well, mostly Angelo Rossitto. Paul Larsson’s good too, even though there isn’t much acting in the role. And then, there’s Helen Buday, Tom Jennings, and the rest of the desert kids. And let’s not forget Bruce Spence or Edwin Hodgeman! Yeah, this one earns its 9/10 for some memorable performances. Might not have been Oscar-worthy, but they have a special place in my heart.

Plot and Writing: Intricate plot this time! It does seem like George Miller and Terry Hayes get better and better with each movie. Real talk, the universe-building in this one is INTENSE, and well-done for that matter. And the writing’s good as well. This one gets another 8/10, because it’s not perfect in the writing department, but it’s still damn good!

Directing and Action: Y’know, weirdly, 8/10 on this one. Yeah, the action’s pretty damn light here, as compared to the previous two films. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, I love me some good character development and story. But if I’m judging it for action, it’s a bit less. Still, direction’s fantastic; definitely George Miller’s best effort so far. So, 8/10.

Production and Art Design: No surprise, but it’s a 10/10 here. The style of these films is evolve WAY FURTHER with this one, as we get the sense that the world has gotten worse, just by pure physical comparison. And yet, everything is starting to return to some kind of rudimentary order, with places such as Bartertown. Yeah, this one RULES visually, and I would say it’s arguably the best yet.

Music and Editing: Well, music’s still good, but the tone shift from rock instrumentals is a little jarring. Still, for the score, Maurice Jarre does good. And, yeah, Turner’s power ballad, “We Don’t Need Another Hero”, is more well-remembered than the movie itself by many. Hell, I had NO IDEA that this song came from this movie. But for all of that (and for great editing), an 8/10 is going here.

Mad Max Fury Road: 94%

Need I say anything? Let’s get into this one.

Cast and Acting: Well, Tom Hardy’s Max Rocktansky is fine, and definitely takes off of Gibson’s earlier portrayals, but I can’t really say he’s the absolute star. No, that’s the Atomic Blonde herself, Charlize Theron. Furiosa is FAR more memorable than Max here, and that’s pretty obviously on purpose. And hey, Hugh Keays-Byrne is back for a FAR more memorable villain in Immortan Joe. GOD, I love Joe; he’s great. And again, supporting cast aren’t slouching a BIT. Nicholas Hoult, Rose Huntington-Whiteley, and of course...iOTA. You know, the Doof Warrior. Yeah. The dude who plays the blind flamethrower guitarist on the back of a truck is called the Doof Warrior, and is played by a dude who calls himself iOTA. I LOVE THIS GODDAMN MOVIE. 10/10!

Plot and Writing: OK, I’l freely admit that this is the weakest element of an otherwise amazing movie. Because, yeah, it’s basically one long chase with some background plot. Not bad, but not great at the same time. While it’s certainly engaging, and the writing is overly memorable, I’m still giving this one an 8/10.

Directing and Action: I mean...c’mon. 10/10.

Production and Art Design: I mean...COME ON. 10/10!

Music and Editing: MUUUUUUSIC. Junkie XL is the composer this time, and he’s put to excellent usage. Yeah, this is the most memorable music in the franchise, bar none. And the editing is also great, as per usual. While it’s not on my playlist (yet), it deserves to be, just for pump-up music. Although, if I listen to that while driving...eh, maybe not. 9/10!

And the winner is Mad Max Fury Road, at a...94%.

Wait...94%? OH. OH NO.

That means...it’s been dethroned? I, uh...I’m gonna have to figure that out. End-of-month summary?

End-of-month summary. See you later today, people.

[aion-rsa]

House of the Dragon: Game of Thrones Prequel Trailer Breakdown

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It’s been far too long since TV viewers got to spend time in Westeros. Thankfully, we will all be returning soon. Today HBO Max revealed an official teaser for House of the Dragon, the first of many planned Game of Thrones spinoffs. Check it out below.

This story is a prequel that picks up roughly 200 years before the events of the epic HBO series. The Targaryen dynasty is on its fifth king of the Seven Kingdoms. They’ve got all the dragons they could want and things are going great in Westeros. Surely, no petty family squabble over succession could possibly ruin such a great thing! Unfortunately for the Targaryen family, George R.R. Martin kind of lives for this shit. 

House of the Dragon is set to cover a major event in Westerosi history known as the Dance of the Dragons. This is when a crisis of succession leads to an enormous civil war that devastates the continent and kills off a large percentage of House Targaryen’s dragons. And those dragons are pretty important, you see. As the voiceover in the teaser indicates “Gods, kings, fire, and blood. Dreams didn’t make us kings. Dragons did.”

Though this teaser is only just over a minute long, it packs quite a bit of exciting imagery within it. Let’s break down exactly what it is we’re seeing here, using Martin’s prequel text Fire & Blood as a guide. 

Ser Otto Hightower

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TV

House of the Dragon Photos Offer First Look at Thrones Prequel Characters

By Alec Bojalad

Fans of Game of Thrones should immediately recognize the pendant on the chest of this unseen character. That is worn by the “Hand of the King” who is essentially the King of the Seven Kingdoms’ chief of staff. Some Hands of the King are more historically significant than others and the House of the Dragon will depict a particularly important one. Though we don’t see his face, this character is certainly Ser Otto Hightower (Rhys Ifans).

The Hightowers hail from Oldtown in The Reach, one of the biggest and most powerful cities in the Seven Kingdoms. In fact, before Aegon I’s arrival on the continent and the creation of King’s Landing, Oldtown was THE city in Westeros. As such, the Hightower family that rules Oldtown is extremely powerful. Though Otto’s brother is the Lord of Oldtown, Otto has been a mainstay of King’s Landing for years. He is a deeply political man who counts the king’s brother Daemon as his biggest rival. His daughter is also quite attractive and may or may not catch the eye of King Viserys I.

King Viserys I

Ah yes, King Viserys I: the head honcho. Viserys I (Paddy Considine) is the fifth king of the Targaryen dynasty. He seems to be doing a decent job but that might just be because his reign followed that of his grandfather Jaehaerys I – perhaps the greatest king Westeros ever had. Viserys’s biggest “sin” is his love of his daughter Rhaenyra. Viserys is grooming her to be Westeros’s ruling monarch despite the precdent of patrilineal succession being set under Jaehaerys’s reign.

The prominent inclusion of Viserys’ sword in this shot might not be a coincidence. All Targaryen kings through Aegon IV wielded Aegon I’s Valyrian steel sword Blackfyre. Should someone hypothetically nab that sword in a civil war it would lend an air of legitimacy to their claim.

Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen (Emma D’Arcy). This may be the closest this story has to a “main character.” Rhaenyra is the apple of her father King Viserys’s eye. In fact, for much of her youth she was pretty much the apple of everyone’s eye. Known as the “Realm’s Delight”, Rhaenyra has a very positive approval rating in the Seven Kingdoms. She is Viserys’s only child from his marriage to Queen Aemma of House Arryn. She appears to have a clear path to the Iron Throne … unless her father does something crazy like say, get remarried.

Daemon Targaryen

Here we have Daemon and Rhaenyra Targaryen. Daemon (Matt Smith) is the king’s younger brother and therefore Rhaenyra’s uncle. In the war to come, Daemon will be one of the most important players. He is an excellent warrior but also a bit unbearable. Otto Hightower hates him and Viserys himself isn’t too taken by him. His niece certainly loves him though. Perhaps a bit too much. 

This may not be a particularly important moment but it does serve as a reminder that the Targaryen fashion sense is so rad. This also, however, could be a fateful duel between Daemon Targaryen and Ser Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel), the latter of which loves a morningstar and who will play an important role in the palace intrigue to come.

Corlys Velaryon a.k.a. The Sea Snake

Now THIS guy is very important. This is Corlys Velaryon a.k.a. The Sea Snake (Steve Toussaint). Think of him as House of the Dragon’s Tywin Lannister, that is to say: the most powerful man in the Seven Kingdoms who does not sit on the Iron Throne. House Velaryon dates its lineage back to Old Valyria just like the Targaryens. As such the two families are quite close, with Corlys even marrying Princess Rhaenys Targaryen (Eve Best).

Even beyond his family’s power, however, Corlys is a particularly impressive man. He is a prolific sailor and adventurer who has traveled all over the world, bringing many riches back home with him. Should a civil war break out, he would be a very important ally to win.

Speaking of Velaryons, here is the whole crew. It’s unknown who is who here but the following actors have been confirmed to be a part of the Velaryon family:

– Wil Johnson as Ser Vaemond Velaryon – Younger brother to Coryls Velaryon and commander in the Velaryon navy – John Macmillan as Ser Laenor Velaryon – Son of Corlys Velaryon and  Rhaenys Targaryen    – Savannah Steyn as Lady Laena Velayron – Daughter of Corlys Velaryon and Rhaenys Targaryen  – Theo Nate as Ser Laenor Velaryon – Son of Corlys Velaryon and Rhaenys Targaryen

I believe we’re seeing the adolescent Ser Laenor to Corlys’s left. His wife Rhaenys is also accompanying him.

This is a conspicuous shot of the Iron Throne – the thing that each character is striving for and the thing that also no longer exists, thanks to Drogon.

Mysaria

Here we see Sonoya Mizuno (Devs, Ex Machina) as Mysaria, Daemon’s Mistress of Whisperers and also just his mistress. Mysaria is pretty rad. She’s a dancer from the Free City of Lys in Essos who caught Daemon’s eye. She comes to serve a pretty important role in the Dance of the Dragons and is involved with at least one unbearably cruel act. Much of Westeros comes to know her as “Lady Misery.”

Lady Alicent Hightower

Told you Ser Otto Hightower’s daughter was attractive! This is Lady Alicent Hightower (Olivia Cooker), who will soon catch the king’s eye. Here, however, she appears to be in distress. She’s running through the court in Maegor’s Holdfast and holding what could be the same Valyrian dagger that caused so much strife in Game of Thrones. What events could this cursed thing have set in motion here? It’s hard to say but it may involve her son Aemon losing an eye.

Remember how much fun the jousting episodes were in Game of Thrones season 1? So much can happen at a tourney. It’s a fun place for highborn and commoners alike to take in some sweet violence. It’s also dramatically fertile ground for many schemes to take shape. Based on the heraldry of a red archer on a green field, this tournament is being held in Horn Hill, home of House Tarly (yes, as in Samwell Tarly). The two participants in this particular joust appear to be Ser Criston Cole again and a House Tarly knight.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

In Fire & Blood, the events that set the Dance of the Dragons in motion begin at a tourney in King’s Landing. Alicent Hightower is adorned in green and Rhaenyra Targaryen in black, so when the factions eventually divide they are known as the “greens” and the “blacks.”

At first glance this appears to be a simple training session. But then it becomes clear that these two combatants really hate each other. We are likely seeing here a skirmish between one of Lady Alicent’s sons and one of Lady Rhaenyra’s. You might think that the blond-haired boy is Rhaenyra’s son but curiously all of her and her blond husband Laenor’s kids come out with jet black hair. He almost looks a little bit more like Ser Harwin Strong (Ryan Corr). Interesting.

House of the Dragon will premiere in 2022 on HBO and HBO Max.

The post House of the Dragon: Game of Thrones Prequel Trailer Breakdown appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: The Dark Knight Trilogy & Its Negative Impact on the Superhero Genre

Superhero movies have come a very long way in the past couple of decades, cementing themselves as a genre unto themselves rather than the odd action movie here or there. Almost every year a few new ones of varying quality pop up that incite equal parts excitement and derision. It’s definitely a genre people feel very strongly about, but even people who tend to not love superhero films will admit that Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy is fantastic.

From 2005 until 2012, Nolan reinvisioned Batman in a way that grounded the character in reality. There’s no fantastical elements, there’s no insane science, there’s no superpowers… Everything in these films could happen in the real world. In a post-Batman & Robin world, this was seen as a breath of fresh air, and the critics loved it. In particular, The Dark Knight helped to usher in the modern age of superhero films, releasing the same year the MCU kicked off and widely being hailed as one of the greatest films of all time. That’s right, not even superhero films, films period. These films were impressive, groundbreaking, and… they fundamentally ruined superhero movies for quite a while.

Look, I don’t particularly hate these films. I think all of them are pretty good, in their own ways. But they have a lot of glaring issues that really hamper them a fair bit and yet, somehow, they became the blueprint that studios decided to look at for what they thought a successful superhero movie should be. Nolan’s films are serious, brooding, dark, and lack the whimsy and creative insanity that makes comics such a fun and engaging medium, and I think this right here is what has hurt comic book movies the most over the past decade. These are films that feel absolutely ashamed to be comic book movies, and they desperately want to seem like they’re “mature” and for “adults.” And, unfortunately for the rest of us, this shame translated over into a lot of other films, something we’re only just now recovering from.

Looking at the greatest strength of the trilogy shows this issue pretty well, that being the villains. Nolan’s films gave us truly iconic portrayals of characters like Bane, Joker, and Scarecrow, and you’re not gonna hear me say much bad about them. Cillian Murphy, Liam Neeson, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway, Aaron Eckhart, and Heath Ledger all do fantastic jobs as the insidious rogues of Batman. But the issue I have is that by grounding these characters in a realistic setting like this, it kind of misses the point. Joker isn’t using exploding cakes and laughing gas, Ra’s al Ghul isn’t an immortal warrior, Bane isn’t a drugged-up super soldier… They’re all just Guys. They’re Guys With Gimmicks, yes, but at the end of the day they aren’t what should be looked at as the be-all, end-all of the character’s portrayals.

And yet everyone acts like no one should ever play Joker again, because Heath Ledger’s Joker was just so good, guys! And he was good, but I don’t think Ledger’s Joker should be the absolute final Joker ever. Quite frankly, I prefer Phoenix’s Joker, because even if that version is also in a rather grounded film missing the overt weirdness of comics for the most part, he still dresses in a colorful costume, acts weird, tells jokes, and is in general more Jokery. Out of all of these villains, I think Bane and Scarecrow at least come within the ballpark of being close to how they should be, but Scarecrow is horribly underutilized and Bane is given a rather undignified sendoff.

Then there are the bigger issues. Batman himself is really downplayed throughout the trilogy, getting fairly little screentime compared to villains and side characters. This was a huge point of contention when The Dark Knight Rises came out, with most of the film featuring Bruce Wayne, and in hindsight it highlights how unwilling Nolan was to engage with the comic book trappings of what he was adapting. I like Christian Bale a lot, he’s a great actor, but I don’t think he really carries any of the films; in fact, it’s usually the villains carrying the movies. Bale is certainly not as bad as Val Kilmer in the role of Wayne/Batman, but he’s no Keaton, he’s no Clooney, he’s not even an Affleck. A lot of the time, he also just feels like… a Guy. And Batman should not ever, ever just be a Guy.

But perhaps the most egregious fault of the films is what it did to Gotham City itself. In Burton’s films, you really get a feel for the Gothic atmosphere of the city with how it’s designed, and this goes for Batman: The Animated Series too. And even the more cartoonish, colorful Gotham of Schumacher’s films pops and leaves an impact. But Nolan’s Gotham? It’s very much just a City. There is nothing distinct about Nolan’s Gotham, it’s literally just a generic city, and if you even have the faintest knowledge of Batman you will know that Gotham is not just a city. Gotham is pretty much a character itself, a dark, imposing landscape in which Batman does battle with his costumed foes. Every other adaptation I can think of knows to make Gotham feel unique and distinct, but this one just absolutely drops the ball. You might as well just have the city be New York if you’re going to put no effort into giving it personality.

And that all brings me to this: every reviled superhero movie of the past decade, from F4ntastic to The Amazing Spider-Man to Dawn of Justice, all have their genesis in Nolan’s trilogy. He laid the groundwork for these films to exist, and a large majority of the blame needs to be put on Nolan for sapping the fun out of comic book movies. Now, to be totally fair to Nolan, he’s not entirely responsible for what happened to the comic book film landscape; prior to him, the X-Men film series was giving all of the heroes dark costumes and being a bit more serious. But despite those films playing a bit of a part, there’s one major reason I don’t fault them nearly as much: The X-Men films never once felt ashamed to be comic book movies.

You have to understand, people loved grit and edginess in the 90s and had just violently rejected Batman & Robin a few years prior to the original X-Men film, so it’s hard to really fault it for wanting to avoid being too campy. But much like Blade, the films never tried to act like they weren’t still crazy comic book films. Scott still has eye lasers, Mystique is still blue, Nightcrawler looks like a demon, there are Sentinels and Apocalypse and even Dazzler shows up at one point! The X-Men franchise wasn’t always good, but it managed to balance between being silly and taking itself seriously pretty well for the most part. Magneto is still a Holocaust survivor, his relationship with Xavier still has impact, there are still emotional moments here and there, but then you also have Deadpool movies and the multiple comic book style retcons to the timeline that leave the continuity a mess, and something about that just feels right. And all that makes Logan less egregious despite being the sort of brooding, angsty superhero drama Nolan would make, because even if it is those things, it still centers around a dude with metal claws coming out of his hands trying to stop his best friend from wiping out everyone with psychic seizures. Nolan could never make this superhero film.

Nolan’s films, on the other hand, did. These films did not feel like they wanted to be comic book movies, they felt like they wanted to be serious crime films but Nolan was stuck with Batman so he just mashed the two together. And honestly, I’d probably be more forgiving if it weren’t for the hugely negative impact these films and their critical success had on the superhero genre even until this day. The first decade of superhero films as a major contender in cinema were colored by these films. People outright balked at silliness in superhero movies for quite some time, with a lot of criticism levied at the early phases of the MCU for being too goofy; in fact, at times it seemed as if the MCU was going a bit too far in the goofy direction without striking the proper balance, with films like Age of Ultron having most of its tension defused by constant wisecracks. And on the DC side, Nolan’s grounded approach lead to Zack Snyder’s flaccid filmmaking with dark coloration, moody atmosphere, and not a shred of joy to be found. Nolan is essentially the peak of dark, grounded superhero films, and Snyder is the nadir, but Snyder’s awful DC films wouldn’t exist if not for Nolan.

It was a slow crawl getting to what superhero movies should be. Guardians of the Galaxy and Ant-Man were films tossed out only when Marvel was certain they could take risks, because absurd concepts like those would just not have been able to survive if not for years of good will beforehand. That’s not even getting into some of the more bonkers elements of later films, such as Ego the Living Planet and basically everything about Doctor Strange. In fact, Doctor Strange, for all its issues, is still a massive step forward for a genre that outright rejected magic for a long time, instead for a time turning Thor and his costars into a cast of hyper-advanced aliens, with later films having to clarify that there is magic and zombies and so on. The recent WandaVision was able to further clarify this by making Wanda unambiguously magic and not an evil Nazi science experiment.

Superhero animation didn’t suffer quite so much, but that’s mostly because, much like comics, animation is still seen as “kid’s stuff” by way too many people. And even then, they didn’t escape the shadow of Nolan totally unscathed; one need only look into the infamous Bat Embargo, which limited Batman villains so there could only be one given incarnation of said character in media. For instance, the Scarecrow being in Batman Begins meant he could not appear in the animated series The Batman. This lead to such things as no Batman characters appearing in Justice League Unlimited. It was truly a stupidly frustrating time to be a Batman fan when some of his most iconic foes were relegated to only certain appearances because it “might confuse kids.”

Let me again clarify this: I mostly like the Nolan films. I usually like Nolan, though he has become unbearably, obnoxiously pretentious these days. I think a lot of elements of them are great, I feel like they mostly have strong villains, and I don’t disagree that The Dark Knight is a fantastic film. But the thing is these are only good as AU stories, as their own thing; they should not be the template every superhero movie should follow, or any superhero movie for that matter, because they lack the ability to engage with the things that make people love comics in the first place. People love wacky, off-the-wall concepts, superpowered aliens, magic, talking animals, evil living planets, alcoholic ducks, and all that fun stuff.

People desperately want the fun, camp, and wacky stuff back in comic book films, as the success of the goofier DC films like Aquaman, Shazam, and Birds of Prey as well as the success of shows like Doom Patrol in comparison to the critical and audience revulsion of Snyder’s films, with Shazam in particular giving us such bonkers concepts as an entire family of superpowered children and Mr. Mind, the evil alien caterpillar. Thor: Ragnarok and the Guardians of the Galaxy films have become some of the most beloved MCU movies despite being weird, wacky, and wholly embracing the joy of comics to the point the latter films feature Howard the Duck and the aforementioned Ego alongside bizarre characters like Rocket Raccoon, Groot, and Taserface. And the thing with all of these films is that they’re able to balance the weirdness and wackiness of comics without losing sight of human emotion, moving storytelling, and drama. They’re both fun and deep, goofy and yet meaningful. This is what comics are, and what they should be, and anyone who thinks comics should be grim and gritty really needs to think about why they think an entire genre needs to be colored in with only the dullest colors.

I think what I’m trying to say here is this: Make a Detective Chimp movie, you cowards.

[innittowinit]

Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children (chapter 5)

Fic summary: 

Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers

That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?

Chapter summary:

 the dream team talk how to maximize their attacks

the sleepy boys talk about no more fighting

Chapter word count: 1938 (a little shorter than usual sry)

AO3 

I am the author, please don’t re-upload this fic to any other sites/ reblog>re-upload

As the hazing summer weather beamed through the glass panes of their windows, the oldest of all the Dream kids, Bad, was recleaning out the scar on George’s cheek, making sure it was safe for him to go out for the day without him getting it infected, Covering it up with some gauze and medical tape once he was satisfied it wouldn’t be getting infected. Dream watched with ferocious intensity as he tried to memorise every movement, Bad wasn’t home very often, he had school and other things to deal with, so Dream was left to be the biggest brother most of the time. 

When he was little, he would have jumped at the chance to be in charge! It meant he was strong and trustworthy but recently, despite his confident facade, he did find himself getting worried a lot. Being the oldest meant knowing what to do when everyone else was scared, it meant being the bravest! And while he did have to admit he was a natural born leader, he didn’t always feel prepared. People were unpredictable and it scared him a little that it was his responsibility to judge them now. 

“Look” Bad sighed as he listened to his two youngest brothers rant on and on about how mean their ‘rivals’ were; as much as he hated to see them all upset and bothered like this, he was sure something must have happened to cause such a big feud. Kids don’t just fight for the sake of fighting right? When he was their age, he, skeppy and their other friend used to just prank people and play random games together. Maybe they did play fight, he couldn’t really remember..

“Are you sure that nothing happened to provoke them? I believe you muffin heads but maybe try to talk to them about sharing the park next time? Not everything has to be a war y’know……. And keep the gauze on this time! The doctor said you can’t leave it open until it’s fully healed. If you think those boys are actually dangerous I can go talk to their parents while you're gone, stay away from them though okay? I don’t want any more bumps or scratches.” 

As the boys all scrambled to grab their things before running out the door, they each gave Bad a hug, letting him know they’d call if they would be out late. The summer air lingered with an overwhelming feeling of comfort and familiarity as the three kids walked down the street, they hadn’t lived here long at all but they’d already made a name for themselves; they had even already made a group of enemies on the same street as them. This would be fun. 

Walking around in a thick green hoodie and a mask was proving to be more of a challenge that he had initially anticipated though, he wasn’t sure what kind of hell they had moved into but summer was so much more than summer. It was thick thick air, beads of sweat, and absolute torture. He felt his breath fog up and condensate his mask, leaving a coating of wet breath along the inside of the plasticy surface. It was disgusting but he’d rather pass out through heat exhaustion than take it off. Taking off the jumper was fine though, he did need to take extra care when pulling it off though since he couldn’t risk accidentally flashing his face.

Dream had always enjoyed the more violent games, he was an athletic boy, the most athletic out of all his brothers, and he loved trying to see if they could track him down or catch him. This usually ended up being games of hide and seek or bulldog that got taken too far, the scar on the cheek hadn’t been a big deal for them since they were so used to playing in such a rough manner. To them, this was all a game. They’d have a big war over the den but at the end of the day they’d still be friends, if he was being honest Dream was glad he had found other boys who liked the same kind of games as they did! 

His brother’s were fun but they were getting predictable, he knew how they’d react. He wanted new people to play with! He wanted the chance to team up with George and Sapnap and fight as one. 

This would be fun. They needed a plan though. 

“I think.. I think we need to prove that we deserve to hang out there too. There’s absolutely no reason why a little kid should be allowed there but we can't!” Balling his fist up and hitting it directly into the palm of his hand as he tried to think, Dream led the group in the direction of the woods. 

“Wilbur thinks he can talk about what they want as if we don’t exist! I say we declare war on L’manburg! Who are they to say where we can and cannot go!”

Sapnap, the youngest of the three but not by much -certainly not as big of an age gap as the sleepy boys had- had yelled out, waving his toy wooden sword around in mock anger. Really, he was a little upset about not being allowed into the park but it would be so much more fulfilling once they had earned their passage into it. 

Dream glanced at his brother and chuckled, George was holding a toy axe as well, himself having a nerf crossbow, which he had saved up all of his pocket money for a whole month to buy. After doing so many dishes to get the extra cash, he was absolutely going to try it out. 

“Dream you’re good at running, I’d say you should snipe them from behind a bush with your crossbow and when they’re weak you run in there. While they’re distracted George and I can charge in from another point. We shouldn’t attack today, George is still wounded and we aren’t prepared. Let’s just scope the scene and find an alternative entrance”

Admittedly, Dream had a tendency to underestimate his brothers. This was proof enough that Sap could be smart though, it would be an objectively bad idea to attack while they were weakened and the enemy was strong. They only had their ‘weapons’ to defend themselves with, in case the sleepy boys started throwing rocks again. 

In fact, he was still quite surprised that Wilbur even had thrown the rock. He had expected him to be an easy target, he was carrying a guitar around and he was so tall, Dream could definitely push him over if he wanted to play dirty. While it wasn’t ideal they had a tough enemy, he would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t intrigued to see what would happen next.

Yes, this game was going to be very fun. 

----

“Okay everyone!” 

Phil called out, his three brothers all sat on a half-rubble brick wall. 

“So we all know that we’ve already had two people get hurt inside the L’manburg walls. Obviously nobody wanted this to happen, whether it was from losing your temper or just not paying attention to your surroundings, we need to do something about it” Phil clapped his hands together, he knew them well, if he made this into something fun they might actually take his advice. 

“L’manburg is not just a hang out spot, it’s not just a theme park either! It is our great nation! And, like every great nation, we need laws and rulers to keep us safe!”

Looking around, he saw how their faces perked up, even Techno, who didn’t usually enjoy roleplaying, seemed excited. It was a nice change, especially things were starting to get mundane, considering there wasn’t much of the park left unexplored -Wil had expressed a desire to want to check out the swampy area but Phil immediately shut down that idea, telling him that even if Wil ended up okay, Tommy would copy him and without a doubt get hurt.

“Wilbur will be your president, while I’m not here he’s going to keep you safe and make any tough decisions. Tommy, you will be the vice president” he had to keep himself from saying this role was just to keep the boy from getting upset at not being chosen for anything cool. 

“Tommy, this is very important, do you think you can handle it?” 

The young boy nodded excitedly, bouncing a little where he was sitting. 

“Okay, Tommy you need to help Wilbur make all the important decisions, and when anybody wants to join L’manburg you need to get Wilbur and then you can be in charge of making them go away” As silly as it was, at least he could trust Tommy to not throw rocks if he was told not to. 

“Finally Techno,”

“Oh my god, me too?” The teen chuckled 

“Of course, we need our warrior! Where would we be without our brave fighter!”

“Ah yes, the warrior. Tommy, I eagerly await your command. I’m so ready to fight people” Techno pulled his hair back, tying it at the back in a low ponytail as some small wisps framed his face. It was beautiful, everyone seemed to agree on that -unless they were overly masculine teenage boys- but Techno would kill anyone who dared say so in an instance.

He seemed to be stifling a little laugh, he was never into acting or theatre like his brothers were, while he was little he always preferred playing strategy games rather than make believe ones. That being said, he still loved seeing them happy and even though he doubted he would be doing it nearly as much as they would, he’d make an effort to play along.

The grin that shot across Tommy’s face was reason enough to roleplay, just a bit. 

“Okay okay so we need laws too! Wilbur, as the president, has already prepared a list” 

Phil sat down on the wall, it was cold and uncomfortable but against the humid air mixed with the slight smell of mildew from the slowly rotting park, it was nice. Last night, he had stayed up late with Wilbur, talking about this idea. If they gave Tommy a new place to hang out inside the park and called it the White house, he’d surely play there instead of doing whatever it is he does on the coasters. 

It still made Phil a little dizzy to think that they had been letting Tommy climb unsupervised while he wasn’t here, hopefully he had the mind to not go too high but knowing his brother, he would have taken the chance to climb higher. 

Wilbur cleared his throat as he got a piece of paper out of his pocket. 

“Dear citizens of L’manburg” 

Tommy giggled, which made Wilbur give him a little smile before he carried on with his speech.

“We will be a peaceful nation! I intend to rule this land without the need for any more people getting hurt. Any kind of weaponry, including collected rocks, are strictly prohibited inside L’manburg, the only instance in which we fight is if we are under attack! My fellow Sleepy boys, too much blood has been shed on this land, I hope you will all stand with me while I strive to steer this great nation in the direction of being more loving and accepting of our neighbours.” 

Phil chuckled as he watched his brothers, they all seemed so happy, most importantly though, they would finally have a reason to be more careful.

Hopefully nobody else would get hurt.

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

January 3rd or One's Beginning is another's end (Daughters of Darkness)

This passage contains potentially: Explicit Language, Depictions of Violence (including mentions of blood), Smoking, Slang and maybe some bad translations.

Summary: An introduction to the world of the Daughters of Darkness, through the eyes of series protagonist Kirby 'Gluttony' Lucifarian. The first day and night, from her perspective, of them working for the WWF.

Kirby's POV:

Tuesday. The first day of being 'on the job', Tuesday the third of January 1984. Damien got us into the WWF. … Damien, managed to get us into the quickest rising wrestling promotion, popularity wise. To be honest with you, Damien's given us free reign to get to know people, for now. I don't know anyone here. I've heard of people here, such as the most famous giant in the world, and … Hogan.

I'm not here because I earned it, I'm here because I'm a necessity for the team. That's how I view it. That's how I've always viewed it. Vickie needed someone to make fun of and, well, I'm the easiest choice. Then, in the midst of a darker path of thought becoming clearer in my mind...

WHAM

Both me and the figure I waltzed into thudded to the floor, "Oh, my good lord. I'm so sorry are you o..."

I looked at the figure before me, taking in how much trouble I had created in the last three seconds.

Taller than myself.

Head covered by a wild afro.

Around double my weight.

André.

André the giant.

Flat on his arse … because of me.

Oh … Shit.

"Are you alright, Mademoiselle…"

I could tell he was searching for a name but didn't know it. Too frightened to even speak I glanced away. I noticed his shadow move.

"Mademoiselle?"

His footsteps came closer, he sounded … worried, as if he didn't want me to get fired for this.

"Mademoiselle?"

He picked me up, not off the ground, but so I could stand. I whispered out a small 'thank you', or rather 'merci'. His hands still on my shoulders, he smiled sweetly and nodded, as if to beckon forth more words from me.

"I'm Kirby, or rather, Gluttony. I'm new around here."

André grinned, putting his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer before stopping upon seeing how much taller than every other woman in the company I am.

"Are you, uh …" he searched for the words

"A giant, yes, technically a giantess."

I feel I should summarise the next hour or so, but, André took me on a tour of the backstage area and we talked, about everything. Within an hour I had gained a new friend, a genuine friend, someone who didn't care about my height or looks. I know the only reason he didn't care is because he knows what it's like to be stared at just because you aren't 'normal'.

By the time André's tour had ended it was time for Vickie and Damien's interview with Mean Gene, which I was to attend. I said a goodbye to André and rushed off to perform my usual role.

The Enforcer, or rather, the intimidation device, that's my role in this group, to scare people, that's all I do. Before joining the group I was part of another group back in England, The Celtic Warriors, I was part of a championship winning tag team. Now what am I, a damned intimidation device, a human scare tactic.

The Interview:

Gene's first question for us, actually, Damien and Vickie (whilst I stood behind them and looked 'menacing'), was 'How are you doing so far?'

Damien began, "You know something, Gene, my girls have yet to have a match, but we are doing absolutely fine. In shape, ready to rock, ready to roll. Gene, every one of the Daughters of Darkness are doing fine."

Vickie followed suit, "Just look at us," She gestured to me and then herself, "Don't we look marvellous, Gene."

Gene smirked, "You could say that again, miss?"

"Pride, though you can call me Vickie."

Damien glared at the smaller man, almost as if he was daring him to try and flirt with her.

Gene readjusted and focused in on the prospect of new women in the WWF and the possibility of more matches. "Uh hum, yes, now how soon do you girls think you'll be seeing a match on the cards?"

"Soon, Gene, Soon." Vickie stated, ending the interview by walking off.

The first night after 'work' was surprisingly normal, Damien and Vickie went off in their rental car, taking Holly and Eli with them whilst the rest of us stood around backstage for a while.

Billie brought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of her purse, lighting one up and walking over to me, sitting down on a box placed near by and blowing the smoke away from me she spoke up.

"What's up with you, Tall-ass."

"Thinking."

"Dangerous pastime hermana."

"I know, hermana"

"You collect phrases, don' cha?"

"They may come in handy, Billie, one day."

"You going to the gym tomorrow?"

"Of course. Gotta train. Gotta … gotta settle in somehow, right?"

"Right, mi hermana, I'll see you around, alright?"

"See ya, Billie."

She waved back at me as she walked away.

Billie was the only person who knew that I 'collected' those little phrases that seem like nothing until spoken. Language isn't my strongest aspect, more often than not I'm silent and I try to avoid other peo-

"Hey! watch where you're walking man!" I yelped out, shocked back into the present moment. Instantly regret flooded my mind as I realised who had barged past me to get out of the building.

Big John Studd.

One of the most disrespectful 'giants' in the world of wrestling. famous for being the one man who pisses André off more than anyone else, including the Iron Sheik.

He sneered back a quick, "Who gives a fuck." and continued to stroll away.

That … that fuckwit. Who does he think he is. I felt a gentle hand place itself on my shoulder. I turned, expecting to see Eli or P.G, I was face to, well, chin with André.

"Forget about him," He started, with that same sweet, friendly smile from earlier, "Damien said you may need a ride back to the hotel. I don't recommend you walk back now, too dark out for a young lady such as yourself."

The way his R sounds turned into faint W's and he missed off or faintly implied H's was calming. Almost in the same way that hearing a parents voice would calm a child after a nightmare.

"Oh, uh, it's okay André, I was going to get a taxi."

He nodded in response, somehow both downhearted and curious, as if he knew that I was either lying to him or if I did get a taxi, the immense pain my back would be in the following day. André sauntered off, leaving me, once again by myself.

I don't mind being alone, in fact most of my life I have been alone, always the outcast, it was only when I got into wrestling that it started to change.

I picked up my bag and started walking, buttoning up my shirt up to the top of my chest, my near-neon orange shirt covering down to my mid-forearm, hiding any noticeable tattoos, except the one on my wrist, when I turned eighteen, I got a small, runic 'R' on my right wrist, in remembrance of my uncle Rory, the tallest of my dad's brothers.

It took about an hour to get to the hotel, an hour of walking through a city I'm not familiar with, when I eventually got to the hotel I went straight to my room and locked myself in. All alone, I could practice or train if I wanted, so I did.

I took off my black shirt, shoes and belt and I stood in the middle of the hotel room and practiced punching, then I switched to doing my warmups and working out, push-ups, planks, squats. By the time I finished it must've been around midnight, maybe one or two am. I got some sleep, waking up at six, getting changed into some fresh workout gear and headed straight to the gym.

You meet all sorts of characters at a gym, or so I've been told. Back in England I would go to my parents house and use our home-made gym to work out. Not an option that I have anymore, however, the moment I got into the gym, I felt like I was in a whole new world, as if I was just getting into the business all over again. I scanned for any faces that I knew, Mr Fuji, Tonga Kid, Sgt Slaughter, Don Muraco, Lou Albano, Iron Sheik, Freddie Blassie, Tito Santana, Jimmy Snuka, Bob Backlund, Gene and Pat, David Schultz, and … who is that?

I walked over to David and this mystery guy, nodding at David and heading to the heavy bag next to them.

"Mornin' Gluttony, André's been talkin' about ya."

"Oh really, Mr Schultz?" I tried to keep my breath noises to a minimum as I continued to hit the bag.

The mystery guy snickered, quickly shutting up after Schultz glared at him.

"C'mon girl, you know you can call me David. An' yeah," He stopped punching and instead leaned on the heavy bag in front of him, forcing the other guy to hold it still "Giant's been talking about him havin' a new friend and how much he likes ya."

"He's a good man, it's good to have friends in new places. Who's your pal, David?"

He smiled and slung his arm around the shorter man, "This here, this is Roddy Piper. He's like you."

I tilted my head slightly to try and make him explain further.

"You are Scottish, right?"

"I'm a quarter Scottish. Anyway, Piper, Do you speak Gaelic?"

"Uh, no, I can play the bagpipes however." his eyes lit up slightly, a sort of mad fire behind a haze of brown or maybe dark blue.

"Well, I'll see you around I guess, I've gotta warm up for later though."

I tried to block the two men out and focus on my own workout but Piper seemed to stick around a lot longer than David. He was still there when my workout ended.

"What do you want?"

"You're a quarter Scottish, you're also a giant. How do you fight? Show me." He seemed to get more energetic the more he talked.

"Right now?"

He nodded, "Right now, c'mon."

He led me to a ring that some other wrestlers were using to brush up their skills.

From the looks of the ring, it was actually used for boxing.

Roddy entered the ring the same way as most six-foot-two guys did, through the top and middle ropes. I tested the ropes, and seeing that they had just enough slack, used them to jump over the top rope.

"I've never seen a girl do that before."

"Mistake number one, I'm a woman, not a girl. Mistake number two, you expected a giant to be normal."

He scoffed out a laugh and got ready to lock up.

We locked up and Piper hit me with a knee to the stomach.

I got him back with an Irish whip into the corner, accidentally winding him by being too stiff.

"You're gonna pay for that, lass." He snarled out, already getting pissed off.

I sized him up, trying to see how high I would have to get myself in order to dropkick him to the mat.

Piper tried to hit me with a running high knee strike but I countered with a dropkick, taking us both down to the mat and slamming my face into the mat.

The mat was a lot harder than I was used to, it felt like I had rammed my head straight into a cinderblock, I started breathing heavier than before.

I rolled over and put my arms up, making an 'X' with my forearms. Piper stopped and walked over.

"You alright?"

I shook my head.

He knelt down and pulled me up into a sitting position.

I hesitated, knowing I had to take my mask off to see what was wrong but truly not wanting to. Piper managed to unbuckle the straps of my mask and winced as he saw what was underneath. My mind went slightly mad not knowing if he was wincing at the injury I had caused myself or the fact that, compared to the rest of the D.O.D, I'm truly the worst looking, beauty-wise, that is.

Hitting my mouth so hard on the canvas of the mat below us, I had managed to hit my mask in a way that the bottom edge, which curved under my chin, cut into my flesh and made me bleed.

I put my hand up to the cut and Piper quickly held my arm by the wrist and shook his head, "Don't you dare."

By the time I received medical aid, which consisted of cleaning the cut and putting a band-aid on it, Piper had given me back my mask and asked if he could work out with me sometime. Knowing that he was currently on a different show, I said sure and we had split ways.

END OF ONE'S BEGINNING IS ANOTHER'S END / JANUARY 3RD

[lazyyogi]

Lila: The Playground

The rusty rustle of the swingset with the heavy jingle of chains, the pattering stomps of little feet, and the cacophony of shouts, laughter, and cries. 

If you were to ask me one thing I missed most from childhood, I would say the playground. Can you recall a stage more dramatic and engaging than that space filled with joys and injuries, games and toys? New friends made in an instant, games of imagination transforming the mundane into any potentiality, or enjoying the simple rush of going down the slide. 

Why don’t we have adult playgrounds? The seriousness of getting older seems to eclipse the natural glee of youth. We expect more of the things intended to make us happy. Instead of a swing or a game of tag, we look to career achievements, material goods, and exotic travel. And while those are fine as they are, how can any of them be enjoyed if we have lost touch with that uncontrived play of the playground?

In Indian philosophy there is a sanskrit word, “Lila.” It may be translated as the “divine play.” Many have asked for the meaning of life, have inquired as to their soul’s purpose, or why this whole universe exists at all. The philosophical response is lila. All of this is a playground of sorts. 

While within our tiny society we may have a distinct role and purpose and circumstance, none of it has meaning outside the human bubble and that bubble itself floats within a cosmic playground. Remember how fun blowing bubbles used to be? If you have bubbles, go blow some right now. I’ll be jealous. 

No identities, beliefs, opinions, goals, or personal history are necessary to play on the playground. In fact, these are the very trinkets taken up and discarded in the games themselves: princes and princesses in a castle, warriors on a battlefield, or astronauts in space. The thoughts and emotions of each character within the game are abandoned the moment the game is over. Taken seriously, these things become the ego. Taken as play, they are just toys. 

"Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun." ~ Alan Watts.

Joining in at the cosmic playground is what the spiritual path is intended to remind us. The person we have grown used to thinking ourselves to be is just a game that has gone on too long and become a burden. Even our idea of “the world” suffers as a burden. Spirituality loosens our grip on this dull game and points us back toward the playground. It can be uncomfortable, like being the new kid at a new school at recess. But it can’t be helped; you just have to cross your fingers and jump in. 

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~ Alan Watts

The goal I always recommend for spiritual practitioners is peace, freedom, and happiness. These are all embodied in their highest form through self-realization, or enlightenment. Yet they are not the result of self-realization, rather they are the practice and the fruit that unfolds such realization. And can you think of a better activity than play itself to embody the qualities of peace, freedom, and happiness?

The playground is the goal and also the path. By playing, the cosmos becomes a playground. Because the cosmos is a playground, you can play.

Namaste :)