lazyyogi

[lazyyogi]

Everything you don’t forgive lives rent free in your head.

Remember what forgiveness is not—condoning, permitting, excusing, allowing, or forgetting.

The actual definition of forgiveness is “to cease to feel resentment.”

You don’t have to be a saint to forgive. You don’t even need to be a particularly kind or compassionate person.

You just need to prioritize being free.

[lazyyogi]

When you are full of problems, there is no room for anything new to enter, no room for a solution.

So whenever you can, make some room, create some space, so that you find the life underneath your life situation.

Use your senses fully. Be where you are. Look around. Just look, don’t interpret. See the light, shapes, colors, textures. Be aware of the silent presence of each thing. Be aware of the space that allows everything to be.

Listen to the sounds; don’t judge them. Listen to the silence underneath the sounds. Touch something — anything — and feel and acknowledge its Being. Observe the rhythm of your breathing; feel the air flowing in and out, feel the life energy inside your body.

Allow everything to be, within and without. Allow the “isness” of all things. Move deeply into the Now.

You are leaving behind the deadening world of mental abstraction, of time. You are getting out of the insane mind that is draining you of life energy, just as it is slowly poisoning and destroying the Earth.

You are awakening out of the dream of time into the present.

— Eckhart Tolle

[lazyyogi]

Hello dar Lazyyogi,

First of all, it is so good to read your words again after quite some time. And it always is. Thank you so much for continue to share, thank you so much for being here!

My question today is about medical school and going through a hard tough learning or academic journey. I started a bachelors in musical composition one year and a half ago and it honestly has been one of the most tough period in my life. I feel dumb. I struggle to understand concepts and I feel slow compared to collegues. I feel so fucking tired, that when I have the option to rest or study I need to rest - and that makes me question myself, if I am "meant" for this, or if I can truly do this as it's meant to be, or just how can I be the composer I want to be if I'm so tired I can't study properly in this period which is meant to be my composition uterus. I feel difficulty to understand my teachers, and I feel lonely when studying (music is a lonely study truly). I love music. I aspire to be a good composer in the classical field (and popular, which I already do). But I do not feel motivation and I just feel very, very tired. The first year was high in energy and I was struggling but fighting. This year I don't even have the energy to want to do it. But I want to continue because I know I can achieve what I envision - I know I can create beautiful music in complex forms. And I think I want to do it for a long time.

Did you encounter similar dificulties in medical school, please? And if so, how did you deal with it? Specially the tiredness.

Thank you.

Wow this sounds so challenging! Good on you for taking it on in the first place.

Firstly, all of this is challenging enough without adding stressful/depressing thoughts or questions regarding if you are "meant" for this, if you can do this, or if you can be successful.

When I decided to become a doctor after graduating college with a degree in English, I was taking on a path and coursework that I had deliberately avoided since high school. There were times I questioned if I could even do it or if I would ever become a doctor.

But none of that mattered or was important. All that mattered was on thing: Was I willing to find out?

So when all of these thoughts arise questioning if you're cut out for this, if you can manage to succeed, just direct all of it into one question: "Am I willing to find out?"

So long as you're willing to find out if you can do it, then nothing else matters. Just proceed, do your best, and find out.

If you succeed then great. And if not, then you have to evaluate why and adjust your approach.

I failed to find a place for myself in the film industry, which then led me to becoming a doctor and then a surgeon. There's nothing wrong with failure so long as we aren't afraid to honestly evaluate and adjust our approach forward.

Secondly, the tiredness. My advice here is prioritizing your physical well-being.

I like that you choose sleep when necessary, because that's important. Recognize when your studying is ineffective so that you stop wasting your time. If you need a break, take a break. If you need to stop for the day and go to bed early, do that!

Get enough rest but also make sure you set aside 1 hour a day for self-case. Exercise! Doing 15 minutes of cardio daily is huge and will make a big difference. Do some yoga a few days per week. Sitting and studying so much can take a real toll on your body! Seriously.

Make sure you are eating well. Take a multivitamin. Make sure you are getting enough vitamin D.

If you can work 15 - 30 minutes of meditation into your day, great. Even 5 - 15 minutes is still helpful.

Lastly, and this is a big one:

Don't confuse knowledge/skill acquisition with intelligence!

This is something I learned during my residency. I have always had learning disabilities but I never appreciated what that really meant until residency. I acquire knowledge quite slowly. I am a slow learner.

If I judge myself solely based on my learning abilities, I would feel quite stupid. But I'm actually quite clever and ingenious in the ways I apply my knowledge and skills. Understanding this distinction has provided me with more confidence in myself and more self-insight.

To summarize my advice here:

Don't make a challenging process even more difficult by adding your own negativity, doubt, and fear. Learn to meet your challenges in an objective, strategic, and tactful way. Find a self-care regimen that works for and supports you.

And it's never a bad idea to consider speaking with a therapist as well. Someone to help you work through this endeavor could be an amazing resource.

Hang in there, take care of yourself, and see where it takes you!

Much love.

LY

[lazyyogi]

“Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness.”

— Eckhart Tolle

[lazyyogi]

Cultivate the feeling that you have everything you need.

Whether or not that is materially true is irrelevant.

Do it anyway. Abundantly.

See what happens.

[lazyyogi]

Taking to heart the things said to you out of negativity, aggression, and desire is like taking advice from a drunkard. 

[lazyyogi]

At some point, most people stop growing. They settle into a comfortable identity, clinging to a fixed idea of who they are.

When this happens, any change — even growth — starts to feel like a threat. This is how people grow old without growing wise. Elders were once respected not merely for their age but for the wisdom living inside them.

If we resist the pull toward the comfort and security of a rigid identity, we open ourselves to ongoing growth. Even the smallest shifts, day by day, week by week, build toward something remarkable.

Just imagine what you could become.

[lazyyogi]

He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.

Epictetus

[lazyyogi]

Respect was invented to cover the empty place where love should be.

Leo Tolstoy

[lazyyogi]

Follow the Lazy Yogi on Instagram

Yes and no.

Whether or not you have a partner at age 50 is no metric for wokeness. Yet some people do seem to struggle with the idea of self-love.

The problem stems from two places.

The first is that we generally understand love as a subject-object relationship. I love you, or I love lamp.

The second, as consequence, is that we attempt to objectify ourselves and then try to love that object in the name of self-love.

This is actually a form of self-harm, because perceiving yourself as an object is inherently problematic.

Some struggle with self-love because they feel unworthy—they have difficulty feeling love toward their objectified self. Others struggle because they become too attracted to their objectified self, in other words vain. That is the form of “self-love” that would rather bail than resolve conflicts, that prefers self-indulgence instead of growth.

I think it might be best to conceptually divide self-love into self-care and Love.

For self-care: eat right, sleep right, care for the body, cultivate and use your energies enthusiastically, and learn how to listen to yourself and others.

For Love: a flower is simply fragrant without aiming the fragrance at anyone. Notice the place inside yourself that feels loved and loving. Nurture the feeling and radiate it regardless of who is around.

[lazyyogi]

Can I forgive someone and never want to talk to them again?

Absolutely.

Forgiveness means releasing the past from the present moment. When we forgive, we stop renewing old wounds. This allows us to heal from the related resentments, harm, and trauma we still carry within us.

But that doesn’t dictate how you must move forward.

In plenty of instances, it may be best to keep your distance from individuals that have caused you harm even if you forgive that the harm happened.

My only advice is to be very sure that you have thoroughly forgiven them. Non-forgiveness creates a harmful connection between you and the other person, which can lead you to perceive and behave in ways that creates further harm for yourself and others.

Through forgiveness, you free yourself from any harmful connections to others and you free others from any potential harm you might have otherwise created.

There are actually some excellent rituals for the purpose of forgiving others and clearing harmful karmic connections, such as the smoke offering practiced by Vajrayana buddhists. I may actually look into creating a new version of such a ritual 🤔

Anyway, much love!

LY

[lazyyogi]

Yes and no.

Whether or not you have a partner at age 50 is no metric for wokeness. Yet some people do seem to struggle with the idea of self-love.

The problem stems from two places.

The first is that we generally understand love as a subject-object relationship. I love you, or I love lamp.

The second, as consequence, is that we attempt to objectify ourselves and then try to love that object in the name of self-love.

This is actually a form of self-harm, because perceiving yourself as an object is inherently problematic.

Some struggle with self-love because they feel unworthy—they have difficulty feeling love toward their objectified self. Others struggle because they become too attracted to their objectified self, in other words vain. That is the form of “self-love” that would rather bail than resolve conflicts, that prefers self-indulgence instead of growth.

I think it might be best to conceptually divide self-love into self-care and Love.

For self-care: eat right, sleep right, care for the body, cultivate and use your energies enthusiastically, and learn how to listen to yourself and others.

For Love: a flower is simply fragrant without aiming the fragrance at anyone. Notice the place inside yourself that feels loved and loving. Nurture the feeling and radiate it regardless of who is around.

[lazyyogi]

Cold Water Rinses Transformed Me

I've always been a devotee of warm weather. Summers, beaches, and maintaining my apartment at a cozy 74 degrees are my comfort zone.

Despite this, I deal with Reynaud’s syndrome, which leaves me with cold hands and occasional vasospasms that turn my fingers white. The frigid winter air makes my whole body tense up with discomfort, and I have no interest in cold-climate vacations like skiing.

However, my profession requires me to perform surgery in chilly operating rooms, and I currently live in a region where winter temperatures routinely drop below zero.

Out of curiosity, I decided to experiment with cold water rinses, a method popularized by Wim Hof. The process is simple: at the end of a typical hot shower, I step out from the water, switch it to cold, and then step back in for 30 to 60 seconds.

The results surprised me.

After my first cold rinse, I stepped out of the shower and was immediately struck by how warm the air felt. But the real revelation came as I dried off. My body felt incredibly relaxed, yet my mind was alert, focused, and calm.

It felt as if I was well-rested, energized, and ready to tackle anything—even after a long day of work.

This routine has now become a staple in my daily life: exercise, shower, cold rinse, and then meditation. My body and mind are perfectly primed for the relaxed attention necessary for meditation.

Moreover, my relationship with cold temperatures has significantly improved. Whether it's a chilly operating room or a bitter winter day, I am now far more comfortable and at ease.

Though my disinterest in winter vacations endures 🤣

Cold rinses are a lifestyle hack definitely worth exploring.

LY

[lazyyogi]

If it is the quality of your consciousness at this moment that determines the future, then what is it that determines the quality of your consciousness? Your degree of presence.

All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present.

Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are caused by too much future, and not enough presence.

Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.

Most people find it difficult to believe that a state of consciousness totally free of all negativity is possible. And yet this is the liberated state to which all spiritual teachings point. It is the promise of salvation, not in an illusory future but right here and now.

Eckhart Tolle

[lazyyogi]

“I should meditate more” or “I should meditate” are things I often hear people say. But the idea of “should” puts forth a burden.

Whenever we tell ourselves we “should” do something, we never actually feel like *doing* it. If you would like to take up meditation, then start saying you will try it.

You’ll try it tonight. You’ll try it in the morning. Keep a sense of humor about it. Don’t distort it with a serious mind, a mind of responsibility and guilt. Let it be an experiment and an exploration.

Eventually something will click and your relationship with meditation will change. It’ll be more a part of you, a more settled part of your daily life. But until then, keep flirting with it and don’t make it a burden.

Follow the Lazy Yogi on instagram

[lazyyogi]

If your mind carries a heavy burden of past, you will experience more of the same. The past perpetuates itself through lack of presence. The quality of your consciousness at this moment is what shapes the future — which, of course, can only be experienced as the Now.

Eckhart Tolle

[lazyyogi]

I’m getting more active on instagram, in case you’d like to follow me:

@the_lazy_yogi