#fuck i think it’s even more
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once again obsessed with the “buck and stiles are cousins” concept because my brain truly hates me.
#lana's writing diary#i have more than three plots already#but i don’t have TIME#maybe if it was >one shots< plots but nooooooo#my favorite plot Obviously is a plus ten chapters#fuck i think it’s even more#teen wolf season 3 to 911 season 2#fuck it’s a lot#why i’m like that#worse I KNOW that writing short storys is the way to create a habit#but my brain Don’t Agree With This Method#therefore i do write Nothing#because that’s my life#and i plot in english and it’s HARD to write in my barely second language#but i can’t think in portuguese about this ideas because they’re born in english#and maybe it don’t makes sense bur#but#fuck my life i guess#911#evan buckley#teen wolf#stiles stilinski
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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Can we talk about the kind of woman Applejack attracts.
#SHE JUST WANTS TO DO CHORES#pony posting#THERE ARE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN IN THE AREA#THAT DESIRE HER CARNALLY#my little pony#everyone wants Applejack is such a fun trope#mlp#applejack#rarity#autumn blaze#mlp fim#countess coloratura#rara#cherry jubilee#mlp gen 4#mlp fanart#friendship is magic#I don't even know the name of these ships dfhbdh#I will not hear arguments that Autumn blaze does not classify as a beautiful woman. she's a mythical being#tortured by thirst lol#so fucking funny.#Rara's “childhood friends that grew UP” thing is so funny.#rarijack is peak but I think its funny that theres more beautiful women into her.
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monologue
#they said i couldnt have a worse speech bubbles to image ratio and i said 'bet?'#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#two hats spoilers#isat#lucabyteart#sifloop#not rlly but it gets the tag in case ppl r backscrolling my tags on my blog for some reason#anyway this dialogue has been kicking around in my files for about 2 months as it is known to do & i wanted to play with typesetting#'write a fic if you like words so much' absolutely not . what if it was pictures instead. and also i wanted an excuse 2 loop gradient#but yeah uhhhh this is very . very loosely the result of me thinking about the 'island is trapped in the fucking future' theory.#like if so. would it just like. reappear. when the rest of the world catches up w where it was stuck in time. like . 20 more years on.#and thus the q: god wait at what point would sif be older than the age they last knew their parents to be. theyre nearly 30 now so like.#you can see my logical path thru these thoughts yes? anyway i think its fun when these two put their braincells together to realise#the horrors. and kind of exclusively the horrors. wahoo!!!#anyway food for thought re: island reappears and to the islanders it's not been any time at all. but its been like 30 years for the rest#fuck do you do: your boy returns 30 years older plus a family (maybe even a child) and minus . a fucking eye.#also theres a fucking angel with them? update. thats also your boy what the fuck. wait fym theyre married. hold on. wait--
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homestuck was so perfect for autistic teenagers bc it took characters being sorted into categories and having Attributes to its absolute extreme. forget four hogwarts houses, every character has their associated colour their zodiac sign their associated animal their dream planet their god tier class and aspect their typing quirk their pesterchum handle their weapon their planet of x and y, as well as each of them having a handful of other very quantifiable Personality Traits and Interests (e.g. this one is a clown this one is angry this one likes fashion this one is just rufio from hook for some reason) and THEN they all also have their respective ancestors and dancestors(?)(plucked that word from my memory) who have all of those things as WELL
and god not to mention the fucking quadrant system
as a 13-15 year old autistic kid i didnt even need homestuck to have a plot i just happily made a big big spreadsheet of character attributes in my brain
#just endless endless personality quiz opportunities#and remember those big big shipping grids of all the characters where u could fill in what type of romance u shipped them as…..#i can feel the cogs whirring in my brain even now#categories!!!!! love them#homestuck#had to go back and add even more categories after i checked homestuck wiki#there were so many#and like. each name having the exact same amount of letters? the pesterchum handles all being some combo of GCAT??#413 and 612 working their way into fucking everything????#unfortunately i think andrew hussie won autism
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searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!
#for finncakes.arts dtiys on instagram... i missed you wxs#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#emu otori#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#polysho#my ipad did not survive this one its at 3% after like 5 procreate crashes#and sending me visions of it being put down like a dog. Not happening#kirapipi album release im FREE#wxs getting 1 another wanopo comm and 2 a traditional japanese style song. ive been saying they need it. emu deep voice can save the world#I drew emus recent card the untrained but i dont KNOW HOW TO RENDER SNYMORE IDK HOW TO DO IT. SO SHES TRAPPED#in my wip art timeloop for eternity.#tsukasa is pissing me off so bad in this no matter how many times i drew and redrew his head imhe just completely breaks the illusion of#depth i think i actually did alright on rui and emu. i love how theynlook. Went hard rendering tsukasas outfit i guess which.#pisses me off MORE. its NOT THE FOCAL POINT. TSUKASA INHOPE YOUR NEXT LIM HAIRCUT IS EVEN MORE STUPID. YOURE RUINING MY LIFE.#whats supposed to be his hand is so fucked up with the perspective too helppp me just pretend its nenes.#the tonal difference from my ladt post is so funny. fuck you siffrin you stupud cat
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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re : how each brother reacts learning that they can't go back
you'll have to pry the "all the Brozone Bros knew what happened at the tree" headcanon outta my cold, dead dead dead hands.
#sandflakedrew#trolls clay#trolls john dory#trolls floyd#trolls bruce#on today's docket : brozone angst#added in order of who i think found out first to last#listen#listen listen listen#they Knew!!!#JD for obvious reasons#Clay from Viva#Bruce isn't taken aback hearing Viva's story either. He's heard before#the combo of Floyd's 'never thought i'd see any of my brothers ever again' & 'is it really you?' hits a similar note for me#They! Knew!#clears throat. anyways#me to me : okay but wouldn't it be a little bit /more/ fucked up if JD didn't /let/ himself be fully gray? wouldn't that be worse?#the idea of someone forcefully sucking that shit back in?#terrible.#awful.#perfect for JD#perfect perfect perfect one might even say#same kinda deal with bruce.#what if you heard the news and felt compelled to try and live for more people than yourself. in order for your current peace to be fair#what then#i have more thoughts but this is enough tags as is#trolls
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two mimir.. 🤲🏼🤲🏼
#i'm so fucking unwell about them this isn't fair i don't need more tragic yaoi in my life LET ME LIVE FML#they deserved so much better#fuck the “who would top who would bottom” argument bc they're minors we should be asking who would big spoon and little spoon 😔#kinda wild how we had a sleepover with yusuke and almost ryuji but not akechi 🤨#atlus discriminating between boyfriends i see#not even complaining i still think yusuke should've lived with us i started violently sobbing when he said he was moving back into the dorms#that was so homophobic of the devs i was gonna ask him to share the bed next night 💔#ANYWAY#persona 5#p5#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws#its two am on a school night i need to sleep bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#no school day after tmr bc the juniors and sophmores are taking the sat tho 😼‼️
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a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.
shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.
I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other
#hell o void#hell o hadal#disabled#disability#invisible disability#nuerodivergent#nuerodiversity#mental health#agoraphobia#depression#anxiety#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#autistic#autism#i know this applies to more people but i am too tired to think of more tags and i really need to stop posting and do other things#but this is something i struggle with constantly and cant get over so#about#it hurts even more knowing that my friends who have done this are also disabled#like.... what do you mean they can overcome their disabilities and have lives why the fuck cant i do that
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Did you think I was done? Ahahahaha no, I have more.
Because chapter 70 of MOMU gave me the very dynamic between them that I missed so much, I just blacked out and started drawing uncontrollably lmao
Also. ALSO. I noticed a while ago that Prowl has the habit of..like…constantly frowning. So. I did a bit of research and made this graph.
In 70 chapters, Prowl frowns rougly 104 times. And the intensity of this gesture is very clearly correlated with the development of his relationship with Jazz, as you can see ahahahahah It might be wrong tho don’t take me seriously I’m not good with graphs
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#jazz#jazzprowl#fic fanart#momu fanart#I just#mmmmm#For the whole fic Prowl had to think twice about everything Jazz says#every information could end up being wrong#sometimes even without Jazz realising it#so when Prowl says#he’s trusting Jazz. it’s.#also it totally wasn’t me googling ‘believing and trusting nuance difference in english’#the moment I realised the difference I think my brain started rollercoaster loops#he can’t believe him but he found enough faith to trust him#while. YES. For the whole story Jazz couldn’t fucking be believed#list e n#Jazz did a lot of things for Prowl#fucktons of big and small gestures to show that yes he likes loves and appreciates Prowl#I’m so happy Prowl is returning this energy#like#remember that scene a while back when Jazz kissed Prowl? Cool cool okay. Did Prowl kiss him? nope. It was one sided gestures#*gesture. That kiss didn’t make me feel like it’s truly something precious because Jazz started it but Prowl didn’t do quite the same#but this👆. This feels so much more important for me. Because Prowl#who is for the whole story was mister I calculate every chance of possible betrayal. Prowl whos entire personality is to trust nobody#Prowl goes. Fuck that I trust you. You feel me?#it wouldn’t be the same if he said I love you. Because love is very much something you don’t have a lot of control over.#but to trust someone? It’s a choice Prowl had to consciously make. You see what I mean? I love it. oh fuck I ran out of tags..
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he's squeaky toy. to me.
#aough i love him so much....#i will never be able to recreate this style/design i already know#my love for him is so great that it renders me unable to draw him consistently#it took all of my willpower not to clutter this with heart scribbles#himhimhimhimhimhimhimhimhim-#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#scribble garnish#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#wally darling#NOOOOOO I MADE HIS CARDIGAN TOO DARK. FUCK#itsfineitsfineitsfine No One Will Notice#sigh. anyway...#i love his lil ascot and bizarre hair and cat smile and-#i have decided to put Slightly More Effort into my doodles. i think it might be worth it#even if the sun is up and my wrist hurty and im tired. i have been drawing for hours und hourz#and putting that right after more hours und hourz of crocheting? Ouch My Tendons
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i know i just posted something like 3 seconds ago but Whatever. Go forth my besties (ted and teto)
#art#my art#utau#teto#kasane teto#kasane ted#not a fan of most ted designs so i just threw one together myself#there’s no good way to do his hair btw…… i gave him THREE drills. This is fucked up#even tho ted and teto are 2 of my faves i never draw them ever#i should do more art of my fave vocaloids + utauloids#i drew speedy torane and waltt a while back for a cover i did with them#but i don’t think i posted it here#woops ehe
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"So what's the weirdest possible first (second) impression Loop could make on the party in postcanon?" "Yeah, that, probably."
+ Bonus
theyre just standing there in direct party order while this happens. normal tuesday.
#its not even purely aggression or a powerplay or anything i think they just fucking panicked and had to shut them up somehow#anyway . fluff reunion? angst reunion? how about just weird as fuck reunion. KEEP EM GUESSIN#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#hello again sifloop nation i bring you weird fucking takes once again#this sure is a different tone to the last thing i put in the tags huh? KEEP EM GUESSIN BABEYYYY#lucabyteart#in stars and time act 6 spoilers#anyway this is a truncated & amped up version of my headcanon reunion. which is to say loop sits on the edge of camp waiting to be noticed#& after what would be far more rambling than ive put here siffrin almost calls them that and loop stops them + makes it clear thats secret#but loop has had to travel some distance to get to them + has been stewing about it. knows they stopped existing for a while and came back#doesnt know why. blames it on siffrin. might not even have been them or a wish. but they jump to conclusions and have time to get mad#then like TWO SECONDS after they have this weird standoff reunion its RIGHT BACK to being buddy buddy and overly familiar with them.#just ultra confusing for the party. as confusing as humanly possible.
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So much of Garak as a person starts to make sense once you know his childhood was a fucking gothic novel. His main playground was a graveyard and he'd play pretend by perfoming improv eulogies to an imagined audience. For a long time his main touchstone for most important figures from recent history is 'oh yeah I know about that guy my dad buried him. great flower arrangements for that one'. He finds out later his 'parents' are actually a brother and sister who had to get married to avoid the utter shame and social devastation of having a child born out of wedlock, and they live in the basement of his biological father's house. (the madwoman in the attic vs. the tiny elim in the basement.) His biological father calls himself his uncle and locks him in a closet whenever he fails to live up to his insane and unpredictable expectations and everyone just has to act like that's normal and expected, and his will hangs over everything at all times, unseen but always felt keener than anything else. The father who actually raised him grows the world's most beautiful (and as it turns out, most poisonous) orchids and keeps the mask of a god hidden in a box in his work shed. Everyone in the house is choking down secrets like it's the only air they know how to breathe anymore.
What I'm saying is that right from the get-go this guy never had the faintest shot at turning out normal, so I'm glad that by middle age he's found a way to get a bit silly with it as he continues to be deeply deeply not normal about anything ever <3
#guess who's reading a stitch in time!#star trek ds9#elim garak#a stitch in time#star trek#ds9#I will make a monster post of asit thoughts eventually but just. jesus christ!!! what a start in life lmao#tolan and tain seem to have been... well not exactly friends probably but to have had some connection beforehand#did tain know him or mila first??? how was mila and tolan's sibling status presumably not known publicly?#at what point during all of that did tain start to have sex with tolan's sister. the more you think about it the more fucked it gets lol#under the circumstances... shoutout to tolan and mila for not leaving him somehow even more fucked up interpersonally than he is#and no thanks to tain for anything ever I hate him so much
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