#fuck batfam fr

[they-hermes]

batman is sooo good when you block the batfamily tag

[phantomsf0rever]

said it before i think and i'm sorry to burst anyone's bubble - none of the bats have the typical "jersey accent".

gotham is in south jersey sandwiched between atlantic city and cape may (it might actually be in cape may county? i can't tell)

while lots of people from south jersey do have a slight accent, the majority down here - especially as far south as gotham is - don't have the accent. the one everyone recognizes as The Jersey Accent is much more concentrated up north because of its proximity to nyc. certain areas in south jersey even have an accent closer to the stereotypical southern accent than the jersey accent.

however. the bats would likely still say other jerseyisms like hoagies, pork roll (NOT taylor ham), mischief night (not only a jersey thing but it's big here), shoobies, etc. since those are still all used in south jersey.

my credentials are. i am from south jersey

[thegurlwhoisntthere]

I’ve been thinking about the whole “Batman won’t kill the joker and that’s stupid” take and I’m just thinking-

Okay? Like if mans wants to stick by this one specific moral code for a job that he has literally nothing but a moral obligation to do, than by all means, let him be.

But you know who we should annoy? The fucking DC Government. “Oh he plead insanity and that mean we can’t kill him” be so fucking for real. This is the same government that made the suicide squad. This is the same government where Amanda fucking Waller is in charge of random shit. You’re going to look me in the fucking eyes and tell me they couldn’t just make an exception??? You’re going to sit there and tell me the judge or jury or whatever the fuck couldn’t be like “actually we don’t believe that he’s insane, kill this motherfucker”???

I’ll be honest, I’m not extremely familiar with the comics, but if this is not a storyline that has happened? It needs to be. Story where Batman catches Joker, but instead of just throwing him back in Arkham, the Gov. steps in and puts him on a super high security trial, and regardless of what he claims, they legally sentence him to death. Nothing Batman can do, it’s out of his hands. Joker dies, not by a pissed off Harley Quinn, or an enraged Red Hood, but by a Government that’s tired of this motherfucker costing them too much money in property damage and other shit.

[canigohomenoow]

i hate all you bitches that were involved in the making of Gotham War specifically Batman #138

I HOPE YOU SUFFER LIKE I HAVE

[camifornilla]

A modern tragedy is that we’ve got a queer Super, a queer Wonder, and a queer Bat but none of them are from the same generation, which is incredibly homophobic of DC Comics if I do say so myself. Give the people SuperWonderBat, okay. It’ll make Everything better. It would be enriching

[burning-omen]

I don't understand why the batfam don't just say Jason came back from the dead. The amount of shit people in Gotham alone see on a daily basis I don't think a single one would even be a little concerned. Like “they robbed Jason Todd’s grave, reanimated him, and now he's back in gotham? Congrats on being alive again I guess” -average gothamite response

[redrobinforreal]

// out of character

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Thinking abt the YA getting stranded in the DCU (interdimensional fugitives? The mother parasite part 2?) and the Batfam keeping tabs on them because where the FUCK did they come from

Anyway one of the Batboys tailing Kate (she doesn't notice obvs they are PROFESSIONALS) only to wind up face first against a brick wall or with a sword at their throat.

And at first I thought "not Damian obviously she'd have the sword too high" before I realized how absolutely hilarious this would be. They've been parkouring on the roofs of Gotham and Damian knows if he turns right up ahead he'll be able to cut her off--

Before skidding to a stop right before a sword touches his neck. He's mad, and impressed, and also pouting.

"Why are you following me?"

Damian blinks wide innocent eyes at her. "I thought we were playing the game tag. Why would you draw a weapon on me, a sweet innocent child? What harm could I possibly do to you?"

Damian is not scared btw he has five different ways to disarm her and take control of the situation and he hasn't even really started thinking about it. So he's mostly just seeing what she does.

"You're full of shit," she says, sheathing her sword. Damian's a little disappointed, he kind of wanted to take a closer look at it after disarming her. "I know murderous eleven year olds, and you are a murderous eleven year old."

"I'm ten, actually."

"My bad."

She smirks at him. Smirks! Age related flattery, done on purpose. Perhaps she's smarter than he initially thought.

"Why are you carrying a sword?"

"Why are you doing parkour on rooftops?" She shoots back.

"Why are you?"

"I asked you first."

"I asked you second."

They glare at one another. An impasse.

"Why'd the other ones send you?"

"Other ones?"

"Yeah. The tank, the pretty boy, and the coffee one. They're all older than you."

"I don't know who you're talking about."

"Mmm-hmm." The sound buzzes through her lips, disbelieving. "The fact that you surveil in what are basically shifts is just a coincidence. Naturally."

anyway Damian might actually disarm her at some point. they may rescue some kittens. By the time Bruce gets to the emergency vet, Kate has taught Damian what "ride or die" is and they're besties for life

[enobariasteeth]

JASON TODD

[the-coffeeaddict-tim-drake]

Tim Drake Fics On A03

These are my list of Tim Drake fics on A03. It has everything. Angst, fluff, funny sibling relationship, family fluff, The core four etc... There are few TimKon fics thrown here and there too. Have fun.

Tim Drake (Doesn't) Drink Coffee by BabblingBookends

Every year, Tim goes on a caffeine detox for a month and has to deal with the resulting withdrawal symptoms. He doesn't tell the rest of the Bats about this, because, uh, reasons!

Bang, bang by Ididloveyou_once

‘You shot me!’ Jason gasped, stunned, ‘Holy shit, you actually shot me.’

Tim’s eyes widened and he froze. They stared at each other for a second, dumbstruck and then-

‘Don’t tell Bruce.’

Or: The family enjoy a normal movie night. Except Jason has a gunshot wound and Tim’s the only one who knows and oh- that’s because Tim’s the one who shot him and they really, really need to find a way to leave before anyone finds out.

Play it Again by Jazz020

The manor feels too quiet without music. Tim and Damian bond over music.

Send to All by kerosceene

I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).

-

The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.

This is on of the most funniest batfam fic I have ever read.

four brothers, one crush, and absolutely zero brain cells to be found by Ms_Trickster

Tim: i need to know what’s the best way to a boy’s heart 

Damian: Easy. The best way to someone’s heart is through their ribcage. Everyone knows that. 

Damian: Come on Timothy, I expected better from you. 

Dick: I-

Dick: Try again

-

Tim is having boy troubles.

Tim goes to his brothers for help.

Tim...did not think that plan of action through.

(In which the batbros give Tim advice on relationships, told entirely through texts.)

Their sibiling relationship is too damn funny.

Home by sElkieNight60 

“Why didn't you call home?” the Red Hood is scolding him, bizarrely making his head spin with how unreal everything suddenly seems. “Why didn't you call Dad? You've been missing for three days and he is losing his mind―he thinks you've been kidnapped again―everyone has been pulling double runs all over the city trying to find you! You fucking disappeared! Seriously, Baby Bird, give us one good reason why we shouldn't drag your ass back home right now and have Dad bench you until the end of all days!?”

The two vigilantes are staring at him equal parts furious and equal parts relieved, but there must be some kind of mistake, because:

“Who is Tim?”

Only A03 users can read this fic.

Cork Board Contingencies by PrinceJakeFireCake

If you don’t use a cork board to obsessively plan contingencies for every possible way a date with your best friend can go, how can you go on a date at all?

Excerpt: “Are you free next Saturday?” Tim asked, pretty sure that Kon’s jumble of words was agreement that he wanted to date Tim.

“Maybe!” Kon exclaimed.

“Cool,” Tim commented, taking another sip of his drugged grape soda (“Dammit, Tim,” he mentally told himself. “Do not give in! Buy new grape soda! Stop drinking the drugged grape soda! I’ve shotgunned another can of drugged grape soda, haven’t I? Dammit, that makes five!”) then saying, “That gives me just enough time to pass out for fifty-two hours and plan our first date.”

Bloodlines by chibi_nightowl for exiled-one (mistralle)

“Mr. Drake, I can’t think of a better way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. This file is for your first adoption. By the Drakes.” 

Tim blinked. “My what?” 

“You were adopted as a newborn by Jack and Janet Drake.” 

“Excuse me, but what the fuck are you talking about?”

No words. This fic is just mind blowing.

fill in the blanks by mindshelter

“You?” Tim blurts. Holy shit. “You’re Kon?”

A nod. “Are you in any pain?” he asks again.

Kon’s skin is sun-kissed, cheekbones dusted with a fine smattering of freckles; he is, without exaggeration, the prettiest person Tim has ever seen. “No, I’m—great,” he says, fidgeting. “Do you, uh, come here often?”

Kon raises a brow. “To the medbay?” he intones. “Definitely more often than I’d prefer.”

Road Rage Robin by heartslogos 

"I'd be doing humanity a favor." Tim grinds out, "And I would get away with it. I could totally get away with it. I've done worse."

Only A03 users can read this fic

Liberal Usage of the Bro-Code by heartslogos for protagonistically (the_protagonist)

“You’re never going to guess who’s blood is on my shirt – similarly, this is not my shirt but these are my pants.”

Only A03 users can read this fic.

Here's a Reminder (That You Haven't Fallen Through the Cracks) by popsunner

If it’s a salesperson, he’ll shove them a hundred dollar tip and tell them to go away, if it’s some religious do gooder, he’ll direct them to Metropolis. If it’s a Rogue, he’ll tell them he’s busy and to please get in the fucking line. If it’s one of his siblings--

“Hey, Tim!” Dick says brightly, forearm braced against the doorframe.

Dammit.

i totally don't have amnesia by impravidus for odd_izzy

Based on this john mulaney bit: “I also think it's weird in movies when someone has amnesia and they wake up in the hospital. A lot of times they'll be surrounded by friends and family, but when they open their eyes they go "Who are you?" Because that's not how you act when you don't recognize somebody. That's very rude. It would be chaos out there if every time you saw someone you didn't recognize, you went, "Who are you?" I always try to be really polite in life, so like if I had amnesia, you'd never know it. I'd wake up and they'd be like "Hi John, we're so happy you're awake." And I'd just be like, "Oh, hey, man, how's it going?", "Oh, hey, dude, nice to see you again." because that's how you act when you can tell that someone recognizes you and you have no fucking clue who they are.”

Detective Timothy Drake and the Mysterious Case of the Unclaimed Dildo by JpegDotJpeg

Tim had a lot of experience with problem solving. Every goddamn day he was solving problems. There was no shortage of problems in Tim’s life. He’d learned how to deal with overbearing parents, underbearing parents, malfunctioning equipment, in-team conflict, lawsuits, emotional breakdowns, financial difficulty, broken ribs, ill-timed boners, and a whole host of other bizarre, anxiety-inducing, or life-threatening issues that plagued his existence.

None of them had prepared him for finding a dildo in the dishwasher.

I had so much fun reading this.

Little Overlooked Dreams by Lunette3002 for Marzue

Tim weighed his options. He was alone at night in some alleyway in Gotham. He had nothing except the clothes left on the ground by someone and the cloak wrapped around his skinny shoulders. His camera was nowhere in sight. His backpack was gone too.

He brought the device to his ear. “Hello?”

Whatever talking had been on the other end of the line immediately cut off at his hesitant greeting.

“Who is this?”

Family Photos by KelpieCodyne 

“I thought you quit your photo stalking?”

“In my defence, I never said I was quitting, and you never asked if I would,” Tim immediately counters. “So really, this is kind of on you.”

Just because Tim became a bat, doesn’t mean he stopped taking photos of bats. Several times Tim took photos of the batfamily, and one time they took photos of him.

One of my all time favorite fic. And only A03 users can read this fic too.

picture perfect memories by Fandom_Trash224 

“I… require assistance with something. I believe you are best-suited for it.”

Tim raises an eyebrow, but motions for the younger boy to enter his room. As Damian does, he slowly closes the door behind him, and Tim notices a small piece of what Tim assumes to be paper in Damian’s hand. Then, he realizes it’s not just a piece of paper: it’s a photo.

Damian approaches Tim, holding out the photo at arm’s length once he’s close enough to do so, saying, “I would like you to explain this photo to me.”

Tim glances down at it, and to both his surprise and mild horror, he recognizes the photo.

Only A03 users can read this fic.

Biphasic Reaction by renecdote

People may have allergic reactions all the time and be fine, but they can also die from them. He has a flash of sudden, morbid curiosity about what the exact statistics for fatal allergic reactions are.

Only A03 users can read this fic.

miles and miles (in their shoes) by JUBE514

Where is Damian? Why can’t he see anything clearly? Where is the little brat? Damian had been by him in the cave when everything had exploded, they had been arguing like always when the two of them had gotten the punishment to go clean the trophy room, stop yelling at each other, stop being at each other's throat for two minutes and go clean the goddamn trophy room-

They had been cleaning, got into another knock out drag out argument, and it had come so close to blows and they had been screaming more than cleaning and-

The stupid fucking shoe, in the magical section- exploded out-

--

Tim and Damian switch bodies, the two of them realize exactly why the other does the things they do.

The Waynes, Damsels in Distress by hitthedeck

Roses are red, violets are blue, Bruce Wayne and his kids get kidnapped every other week. Some things are just universal, undeniable facts of life.

Or, in which Bruce Wayne is still Batman and his kids are still Robins, but they keep letting themselves get kidnapped because they think it's funny.

Have You Seen My Kids!? by Cute_Bear

Five Times Bruce's kids interrupted him as Bruce Wayne and One Time they interrupted him as Batman with the Justice League.

This is not Tim - centric, but it has really nice batfam fluff.

ten cents richer by Ms_Trickster

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

That’s how the saying goes. Take enough punches from the universe and eventually it becomes harder and harder to pop back up, to see the worth in fighting back, to stop yourself from turning around and delivering some punches of your own.

Tim never wanted to become the villain—

“Appendicitis,” Tim breathed in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

—but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to burn the world to ashes when shit like this kept happening to him.

A Saturday Evening by malcyon

Jonathan shrugs, catches the expression still on Tim’s face. “We did throw out the cyanide.”

“Only because it expired.”

“Marty.”

“Well, it did.”

*****

Kon invites Tim over for dinner. Tim's not sure if he should have accepted that invitation.

unfurl by shipyrds

"Hey, Dick," Tim says. He's in costume, and fiddling with his gloves, but he doesn't remove his mask: nervous, and trying to hide it. "You've had sex with aliens, right?"

"I'm not going to like where this is going, am I?" Dick says, resigned.

"How did you deal with the whole. Junk situation," Tim says, in his best professional Mission Report voice. Its success is kind of undermined with how red his face is below the domino. — Tim asks some questions. Bruce and Clark come to some realizations.

The Conner Kent Conspiracy Board by Hayleythewriter

Tim figures out Kon’s feelings before Kon does.

His Baby by Musafir

Bruce once made Tim a promise that he would never break, just have to reaffirm later in life.

“Hi Tim. I’m Bruce and I am always going to be here for you.”

Banshee In A Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee)

Tim is five years old when he drowns in his parents' pool. He dies quietly, waiting for parents who love him, but will never be there, to realise that something is wrong. They never show up, and he sinks into oblivion.

When he wakes up and claws his way out of the water, the sun has set, and the lights of his house are on. He is cold and wet and his lungs burn.

But most of all, Tim is alone.

(If you die and no-one is there to see it, were you ever alive in the first place?)

The Return by lurkinglurkerwholurks 

What the comics neglected to cover after Bruce returns from being lost in time.

Only a03 users can read this fic.

charity by Valkirin for Ms_Trickster

The biggest downside of being adopted by Bruce Wayne is putting up with rich people events, including one where Jason will be in a room with a bunch of rich kids for a couple very long hours while Bruce goes to the adults' meeting. Jason is ready for a very bad time but the Drake kid listens to him from the start and keeps backing up Jason's ideas even though they've never met.

Jason warms up to Tim Drake long before Mad Hatter tries to take over the meeting and Tim backs him up again.

city of stars by lovelyre

College friends-to-lovers AU with Tim Drake.

This is Tim drake x Reader fic. Trust me its really good.

Tricks of the Trade by Jazz020

Jason and Damian learn about Tim's fool proof method of getting what he wants from Superman

Security Updates by Jazz020

Hal, Clark, and Barry find an unexpected guest playing with the watchtowers security.

Vacation at the Watchtower by Jazz020

A continuation of Security Updates

It may have been a mistake to let Tim stay at the Watchtower while he heals from his injury but the kid really needed to get away from his brothers.

“Wait, what if I go to the Watchtower with you.” “I don't think-” “It’ll be great. I'll even help out if you need me to. I'll be the best unpaid intern the Justice League has ever had.”

Birthdays by Jazz020

Bruce was always aware that Jack and Janet Drake were bad parents, but every once in a while they give him an unfortunate reminder.

Loss by Jazz020

Out of all of Tim’s self-destructive tendencies, it was his willingness to die for his loved ones that frightened Alfred most.

Sick by Jazz020

Tim’s never quite figured out the proper behavior for someone who’s sick. Instead of resting, he often makes his way to the Watchtower.

We Can Work It Out by blackash26, Tigrislupa

Damian endeavors to make up for his treatment of Drake and apologize properly; however, Drake refuses to forgive him no matter what he does. Tim does his best to deny, avoid, and ultimately deal with the fact that the demon brat has a crush on him of all people. (Pulling pigtails never felt like quite such an understatement.) Meanwhile, the rest of the family takes sides.

In all of this, there's only one thing everyone agrees on.

Don’t tell Dick.

Only A03 users can read this fic.

you'll never find a thing like today by remrose

"I'm just saying, I don't think I've ever been to one of these things that hasn't ended in explosions," Bart tells them, eyes on the crowds as he tugs at the ends of his cuffs.

To the Boy Who Called Yesterday by Shirokokuro

Bruce wonders when six-year-old Tim changed, when he shed that sad look he’s wearing now.

Or, perhaps, when he got so good at hiding it.

Cough syrup by Stardustwrites17

It’s the coldest night in the year. So of course Tim falls into the Gotham-fucking-harbor.

Featuring a worried dad, Tim's missing spleen, and of course, Tim battling with himself between being independent and letting himself be loved.

Chili dogs seasoned with tears by Robin_The_Robiner

Ever so slowly, Tim looked down at his plate. On it was a steaming chili dog, topped with fried onions and fresh parsley.

“Oh.” he whispered.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Taking the place of a beloved dead boy was difficult, but Tim managed to do a decent job. He's smart, confident, and put together, so he wasn't effected by their devastating grief at all.

Tim is also a dirty little liar when it comes to his mental health.

A Pile Of Pillows By The Couch by reinersbigtits

Tim has always hated getting sick. He hates the haze and the pain. But, when he finds out his family is sick he jumps in to help without a second thought. However, without a spleen, he's incredibly susceptible to the illness and quickly realizes just how much he's missed out on.

Or: Tim Drakes repressed trauma followed by worried family feels and lots of comfort.

stepping on landmines by Ms_Trickster

There is a scar curved around Drake's neck that Damian does not understand.

So he asks Todd.

the butler's neighbor by deargalileo

It starts with a baseball, thrown onto the wayne's property. it's alfred's job to deal with such happenings, of course. but over tea and galas, it turns into so much more.

after all, why should bruce be the only one allowed to adopt any child that he finds?

Stranger than Fiction by foxy_mulder

"There are details in this document that absolutely no one should know unless they have inside information on us. There’s hints that they know our patrol schedules and regularly keep tabs on us. I don't know who's behind this, or what they want with Batman, but tracking the writer needs to be a priority."

"And this document is… a fanfiction?"

_________

(Tim Drake writes Batman fanfiction. He doesn't expect Batman to actually find it.)

There are many many more fics which i will post later. Have fun reading

[i-cant-sing]

Yandere big brother!Jason Todd hogging baby sis!reader all to himself, and not letting anyone else near her. Like, the whole batfam is trying to get the reader but failing. And Jason just going, “You’ll have to pry her out of my cold dead hands if you want her! 😡🖕”

Meanwhile, he just dotes over his baby sis just being cute and he’s all like, “You’re so precious 🥰! I’ll make sure nothing bad happens to you, okay? 🥺 Big brother jay will take care of you!”

He’s 100% ready to fight his family and go off the grid with his baby sister, or take extreme measures of hiding his baby sis!Reader if he has to. He feels that he’s better fit to take care of his sister out of everyone in the family.

Fr fr, and he can never bear to see you cry. Like the moment tears start forming in your eyes, oh god- it's like someone is actually crushing his heart. Believe me when I say that the nurse who gave your vaccination shots barely made it out alive, with Bruce and Dick holding Jason back while you cried (which stopped quickly as soon as one of them picked you up).

Like I can see Jason holding baby reader in his arms, who's just cooing and forming spit bubbles and Jason has this stern gaze directed at you, but anyone can see the huge softie is from a mile away, and he's telling you not to cry ever because it's just- wrong!

Jason, glaring at you: and you are not allowed to cry! Ever!

Baby Y/n, coos and tries to grab his hair: huegh?

Jason, leans closer so that you're forced to look into his eyes: It's illegal! No tears or its jail time for you!

Baby Y/n, leans forward to give his nose a slobbering kiss: *giggles*

Jason, tears forming in his eyes as he pulls you in a hug: gosh dammit fuck it, you're too precious for this world! I'll lock you up forever.

-

Alfred: Master Bruce?

Bruce: yes, Alfred?

Alfred: Master Jason has kidnapped little miss Y/n again.

Bruce, slamming his newspaper on his desk: GODDAMMIT ITS THE FOURTH TIME THIS MONTH! Where are they?

Alfred: the doomsday bunker-

Bruce, getting ready in his batsuit: of course, it's the doomsday bunker. Call Clark, tell him to take care of missiles Jason has fired.

[batlantern-abyss]

Random Batlantern hcs:

One time while he was in Gotham with Bruce, Hal found a shop selling a shirt that says "I survived my trip to Gotham City." He thinks it's absolutely hilarious and has at least three which he wears constantly

Hal absolutely infodumps about airplanes to Bruce, and Bruce just infodumps about dinosaurs, his Nerd Shit, and whatever case he's working on right back

Hal forces Bruce to rewatch Top Gun with him every month. Bruce hates it

Bruce still got tickets to the Top Gun: Maverick premiere for Hal anyways

There was a moment where they discovered they both had Jewish heritage and went "oh my God he just like me fr"

Bruce has a tendency to voice his observations about people (I.e. "you changed your shampoo." "Excuse me??") which weirded out Hal at first but eventually became something that endeared him to Bruce ("You changed the lotion you use" "absolutely right babe :D")

The batfam ofc really likes Hal. 10/10 the sanest (serious) romance Bruce has had in a while

The keep it pretty secret, but told the core/founding members of the League. They were absolutely fucking blindsided by this

[lisholoz]

you said not to follow for wholesome batfam art/ content because you are a Slajay/Jayde/RedDeath/whatever their ship name is

so can i follow you because you are a Slade × Jason shipper bc FUCK YEAH I've been hoping to find someone else!!

honestly joke aside I literally followed you because of that tag. I was so excited to find another Slade × Jason shipper.

LOVE the batfam art, but batfam blogs are plenty. Slade×Jason blogs??? with art??? much much rather and I am happy-stimming all over my flat now

Slade x Jason !!! RAAARGH my loves. Sladejay shippers are my esteemed colleagues fr. Some people have tried to tell me before they see Slade as more as an Uncle figure and I'm like good for you lol. I however, saw Slade stick his fingers in Jason's mouth 1 minute after meeting him properly in Arkham Knight: Genesis, and I was never the same. There is a really fun discord for SladeJay too , the gangs all there. Hit up @thejasonandsladeagenda if you're interested!

[transtravisstoll]

Batkids Age Reversal List

want to do a age reversal AU for the batkids but why do the comics keep fucking up their ages this has taken me weeks of trying to figure out i’m gonna off the DC comic writers. if you have any better ideas for their ages pls let me know im going to gouge my eyes out if i have to do any more math.

alfred: ???

-immortal. fuck you. he looked death in the face and told him to stop tracking mud all over his freshly mopped floors and that dinner was at eight.

bruce: 39

-had damian at eighteen bc i wanted it to be as close to his age gap with dick in canon as possible but i am not having this man fathering a child at 15

damian: 21

-came to gotham at age 8, refused to be a normal kid bc he was literally raised an assassin and bruce doesn’t know how to encourage nonviolent activities in children so letting him fight crime seemed… better than being an assassin. he, at the age of eight, could not come up with a name that wasn’t fucking Terrifying so whenever gordon asked for his “little shadow”‘s name they were suspiciously silent bc no, damian, you can not call yourself Vengeance or Malice. the media called him shadow and it stuck.

duke: 18

-wanted to keep his age gap with tim similar, but with duke being the older one, instead of doing dick and jason’s age gap bc it makes more sense this way.

-his parents got jokerified when he was 12, and so did a Lot of people in the Narrows. it absolutely decimated their little community so duke became signal. he didn’t fight crime, he gave back to his community, he helped with the cleanup. bruce ended up basically kidnapping the poor kid. (duke ran away from his foster home because he wasn’t a glorified babysitter or maid, fuck you, he can crash on couches.)

STEPH: 16

-again, wanted to keep the age gap between steph and tim the same but keeping steph the older one. makes more sense this way!! leave me alone.

-became spoiler at 13, was only spoiler for a year before she became shadow at 14 for about six months in between damian and jason. there was a six month period as well where bruce didn’t have a shadow and alfred literally had to bribe steph to be shadow bc he wasn’t abt to let a kid run around the gotham night without knowing batman was two steps ahead of them. plus, having a kid with him made bruce more cautious.

TIM: 15

-FINALLY got to mimicking the age gap between dick and jason in canon

-never becomes shadow, actually, he takes bab’s spot as their computer wiz. doesn’t call himself oracle though because he fucking sucks at making names. calls himself override (barf).

-also, steph is the only one who hes told he’s override to and also knows the batfam’s identities

-duke knows tim is override bc he’s scary like that!! tim doesn’t know duke knows he’s override, but duke knows that tim knows their identities and tim Also doesn’t know that. duke is fr terrifying. love him.

-tim figured out the batfam because of duke’s meta abilities bc he’s also scary like that

Jason: 14

-oh, he’s… currently out of commission. became shadow at 12.

-didn’t die in ethiopia, because fuck that plot. he was doing a stakeout but the joker had kidnapped this itty little baby (an eight year old boy) who he found running around the gotham night. jason went out of commission saving that little boy. what does out of commission mean? who knows. could be dead. could be severely injured. kidnapped. the possibilities are endless.

-i think it’s fucked that the comic fans voted for a fifteen year old to die by the joker. y’all are crazy.

cass: 13

-mimicking jason and cass’ age gap with cass being younger bc it makes more sense leave me alone

-isn’t a Batman approved shadow (yet) but she shadows batman anyways after jason’s… indisposed. the bonus is that batman doesn’t Know he has a shadow but gotham is kept in the dark abt shadow being (redacted) because cass and jason had the same exact fucking build, okay, jason hasn’t gotten his growth spurt yet (because of childhood malnutrition) . weird how batman lost weight though, after he went on that rage incident after the latest arrest of the joker. he’s leaner now. (is it the same batman? who knows.)

dick: 8

-mimicking the tim and damian age gap, bc it’s six years in my head leave me alone.

-huh, jason went out of commission saving an eight year old and dick is eight… suspicious. coincidence? hm.

babs: 7

-mimicking the babs and dick age gap but with babs being younger bc i think she’s older in canon? unsure. DC please i’m going to kill you and then me.

[yourlocal-edgelord]

batfam as things me and my friends say part 2

————————

Jason trying to get everyone to stop ghosting him on the group chat after eating all the cookies: COUNTRY ROADSSSS

Steph unable to resist: TAKE ME HOMEEEEE

Jason: TRICKED U :P

Steph: ur such an umbridge

Jason: FUCK YOU

Bruce fed up with them: what did i do to deserve this

————————

Dick: You know you have a resting bitch face?

Tim: well thats ironic because this bitch gets no rest

dick: no-

———————————

Steph: TAKE ME TO THE BEACH AND I WIL ETERNALLY LOVE YOU

Cass: OK 👌🏻

Steph: DOES THAT MEAN YOUR TAKING ME TO THE BEACH?

Cass: if you want me to :)

Steph: FORGET EVERYONE ELSE I LOVE YOU THE MOST

—————————

Jason: we’ll have a water fight, the second we see steph we’ll drench her using our water bottles

Tim: Record a video i wanna see steph wet

Jason: u wanna watch her get wet?

tim running on 15 minutes sleep: Yes, i will be eternally grateful to you if u record it

jason: fr? 👀

tim: yea?

Jason: …

Tim: …

Tim: STFU I JUST REALIZED WHAT YOU MEANT

————————

Jason watching Tim and steph with clear distaste

Tims and steph who have been laughing at the same joke for half an hour, lying on the floor clutching their sides and wheezing.

Tim looks up at jason tears in his eyes: Ja- *wheeze* Jason, would *more wheezing* would you still love me if I was a worm

Tim and steph bursting into fresh laughter.

Steph still wheezing clutching her stomach harder: Fuck i just peed myself

More laughter ensues

Prev - next

[roachesforthewin]

My Personal TIMKON Recs List

i made this for my friend recently and thought i’d share it here because you tumblr bitches love pain and little gay dudes (just like me fr)

all of these have good young justice, batfam and superfam (though sometimes it’s minimal) representation (because i don’t read them if they don’t have good rep, sue me). Plus Tim and Kon personality and character accuracy, obviously.

Also these are all Ao3 recs because i like to consider myself as not a heathen

Funk Ass

- sun kissed by merils

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48882055

beach episode, queer young justice fr fr, Kon rep is off the charts (ashgs quite possibly the conner rep of all time, just the phrases he uses /$)/ so real!!)

- Baby Talk Me Down (Take Me Out) by sage (lemontongues)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25384345

ahhhsh this one is unfinished but i desperately wish it was, either way great fic and great character rep + conner civvy life insights

- Out of The Frying Pan, Into the Casserole Dish By JpegdotJpeg

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41005416

martha kent (& the superfam!) is the best person ever, plus tim is the most autistic little dude (we love him sm)

Haven’t finished but amazing rep/haven’t read yet but plan to

- Robins and other flightless birds by Ionaperidot

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15607170

ahsgshsh this one qualifies for [literally kill yourself after reading (pain)]category but i put it here just cause :-| uhh BW adopts fucked up kids good for him: JJ!tim, Catatonic!jason COA!dick etc

- Straight on ‘til morning by merils

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43401684

haven’t read this one yet but i’ve heard really good stuff about it! plus good kon character development/ exploration (from what i’ve heard)

- there you were by mindshelter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25599205

the blorbos deserve pain, don’t you agree? (i haven’t read this one in a hot minute and have forgotten what it’s about but i remember it being good)

- Buy Back the Secrets by sundiscus

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43137879/chapters/108412977

okay no this one LITERALLY AHSGGSGS bro just read it, uhh civvy tim and superboy interactions, 5+1 things, good sibling Jason (a rarity unfortunately), funny ass dialogue

sexy times (good for them)

disclaimer! none of these fics are like solely focused on smut, but that plays a large ish role thats why they’re in this category

- take me to the airport (call me from the platform) by Hayleythewriter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47970586/chapters/120950194

This has an idiots to lovers tag…there’s not much more to say. except for great sibling relationship portrayal of Damian and Tim that doesn’t involve murder attempts Yay!! (DC wouldn’t even dream of it)

- What happens in Vegas by Ididloveyou_once

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32850109

Stupidest bitches alive fr (mostly tim) + Cassie Sandsmark being a bitch, we love to see it! and and and it has an interesting subplot/s so woowoo, also minor Birdflash👀

- Scions by winterlive

https://archiveofourown.org/works/375897

Conner Luthor is a bitch and i love him + lex luthor is a good dad WHAT!?! oh HA and Clex which is soo good.This was honestly one of my favourites sheerly because of good character representation and BW not being a terrible father

- Trust Fall by Ididloveyou_once

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31654376

Again good sibling rep between all of the batboys, mostly Damian and Tim tho YAY! (it’s seriously a rarity do not take it for granted)

Literally kill yourself after reading these (Pain)

- when your bf hits the street and turns into meat that’s amore by CarrionCarnival

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40318824

self explanatory title, heavy gore :loved it, literally my favourite fic on this list (i adore gore what can i say)

- You are Shaking Fists and Trembling Teeth by Bored_Liege_bow

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47679967

implied TimKon, aftermath of conners death Rip timothy d-w

- my dear devoted delicate by blenderfullasarcasm

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48556555

pushing daisies au, sad af + good exploration of loss on tim’s part through his life