#from a conversation of ours though
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#shameless stolen from 🤺#from the chat archives#from a conversation of ours though#admin: 🔮#aftg#all for the game#palmetto shitposts#kefu shenanigans#psu foxes#neil josten#tfc#trk#tkm#andrew minyard#psu foxes twitter#matt boyd#renee walker#dan wilds#kevin day#aaron minyard#nicky hemmick#allison reynolds#david wymack#kefu tweets
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a show doesn't necessarily have to be ABOUT queerness to BE a queer show. it's a cultural dialect that cishets don't quite speak.
edit: i gotta clarify that the shows do indeed still have to have actual queer characters in them to count
#our flag means death#and yeah i'll say#the owl house#not just in the fact they are stuffed to the brim with queer characters#or their stories of self-transformation into who you truly are#or even that they're about outsiders finding community amongst each other#though those things certainly factor#it's that the queerness cannot be disentangled from the story without costing complexity#luz has to be neurodivergent and queer. if she wasn't the story would be about someone else#am i making sense? is this microphone on?#a couple others of note are#killing eve#renegade nell#and star trek#which cannot be made straight despite best efforts#conversely heartstopper and first kill are not queer. but that's another essay.
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Small indie artists in need of support for moving out by September!
💜 These lovely folks [@QuinsCurse (they/them) & @sswitchblade03 (xe/xem and he/him)] are part of a small queer-owned Youtube community I'm in. 💖
💖 If you could lend a helping hand by reblogging & queueing this post up until the start of September, I'd greatly appreciate it & I'm sure these fine folks would too! 💜
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
"Hi everyone! Requests are officially closed as I am opening emergency commissions! Please consider supporting me as we are getting kicked out and have managed to find a place that’s affordable but need to save up 5k by the end of the month! Anything helps! I also have a dontations page if you are willing to help do that! All the money received from commissions will be going to the deposit! https://ko-fi.com/quinscurse/commissions https://ko-fi.com/quinscurse/goal?g=32"
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
"https://ko-fi.com/sswitchblade03/commissions https://ko-fi.com/sswitchblade03/goal?g=0 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS!! My roommate @QuinsCurseand I are needing about $5000CAD for a down payment on a new place as we need to be out of our current place by September! Every bit counts! My goal is to be set to $3000CAD. I will draw anything (coloured and rendered) for $5 CAD each! If you are willing to give more it will be appreciated. Examples of my work below!"
⚠️ Do not tag as d*nations or anything like that! ⚠️
#I tried to replicate the youtube posts to the best of my ability#text is in alt descriptions as well as the post itself because idk how to navigate tumblr in this way for these uses#couldn't get the images from yt itself without it messing up the formatting so hope this is good enough <3#I just went to one of the pages itself to find the closest possible images I could that looked like the ones on the original post#highlighted the links on the 2nd part though to make it easier to find the links in the post#the pronouns listed are accurate as of time of posting for those who see this post in the future; just so you're aware; go check if you wan#I have on idea what mutual aid tags are okay in our increasingly worsening internet of 2024 so I'm just gonna not tag it & queue a bunch#I just said I would post it; idk currency conversion or anything of that sort; this is my first time doing something like this so apologies#if it's not up to par with expectations#mine#op#indie artist#yknow what for the sake of not having people block my post tags; ill add a unique tag for this sort of thing#roses campaigns#FILTER THIS PREVIOUS TAG IF YOU FEEL IT NECESSARY; ill try to remember to use it when stuff like this comes up
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i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage
#eliot posts#dunme#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#sorry to put toshiro in the roll of shitty job interviewer lmao#but he was the best fit for ''guy that wants me to read their mind''#laios being my internal monologue here#i was on my THIRD interview of the day i was Dying#tho since the prev two interviews i had were for similar positions and told me their salaries outright at least i could use that number#(though tbh my work persona is more of a kabru. my customer service voice is unparalleled)#(at my first job even my coworkers thought i was sooo cheerful til i got too comfy and casually made a joke abt wanting to asphyxiate on a#plastic shopping bag like a sea turtle. in front of my sweet elderly coworker. oops!)#(also this job was during quarantine and after weeks of working together i took my mask off in front of one coworker for the first time#and she called like half the department over from their registers to look at how pretty i was??? prettyboy powers unmatched ig)#(also my first interview today went SO well i charmed that interviewer so good despite my lack of qualifications)#(she even complimented my social skills and said i seemed like the type who could get along well and make good conversation with anyone!)#(which is important bc i was interviewing for an elder care position. also old people especially tend to think i am a Delightful Young Lad)#(unless i accidentally make a morbid joke around them ig lmaooo. or. well. some of them like those too. but not that one coworker lol)#(if only that skill transferred over to actually making friends irl. my autistic ass has so few close irl connections)#(i hope my exceedingly short list of character references does not prevent me from getting hired)#AND ALSO my first job asked the same wage question and i said twelve dollars#and they were like all our new employees start at 7.75#the union insists that we pay all new employees a whopping 50 cents above min wage. (we'd pay less if we could)#like dawg why did you ask that then??? if my answer did not matter at all???
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'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'
#cw blood#SUUUPER SCUFFED LIL WIP THATS BEEN RRRROTTING IN MY FOLDER. OUT!! GET OUT!!!#its almos 2 am and imm gettin high as hrothgar. spruced this up within an hour so i could be shared n eaten#its SUPPOsed to be part ofa bigger doodly page so ofc theres the chance this changes between now n then#fuuuuck shoulda made her dress sparkly. fuckit ill fix it laterrrrr. i havnt posted art in YWEARRS i needed to post something#also i uh. well you see i started losing followers on twitter bc im sooo inactive and i KNOW that shouldnt matter like it should be whateve#but. you see. i lkike when number go up and when it go down i get MMMADDD.we all get our dopamine from somewhere#ANYWAY so i actually havnt touched the suckening in so long. been workin on oc stuff.BUT WELL. ARTHUR AND MARY. STILL MAKE ME WEEP#THEYRE SO CUTE N TRAGIC...whadda fuck is it with grizzly n charlie characters being so in love and so doomed#kian and becky then arthur and his various exes like CMAHn.stop doing this to me#from what i remember of the episode.she seemed so.tired.disconnected.like she had been wandering a dream#and yet she seemed so positive.reasonably concerned and yet.content.she warmed up to arthur as soon as she recognized him#she speaks so gently and so sweetly and she keeps the conversation so light.even though shes dead and shes gone and she#is doomed to wander an odd limbo for the rest of time.and yet she seemed so at peace.i can see why arthur liked her.what happened?#what caused them to separate?arthur seems so jaded and so tired.marys company seems like such a gentle place to rest.#how did he squander such a blessing?was it a blessing?OHH what i would give to crack open their minds and peer inside.#yknow wat im runnign out of room i think so ill add a last thought here at the bottom of my tags. I AM MORE CORRECT ABT ARHTURS UGLY LOOK#I WANT THAT MAN TO BE BEASTLY AND GROSS AND STRANGE AND SCARY AND EEWWW I SEE THINGS SQUIRMING IN THE DARK.ther are bugs#LETTING HIM HAVE HOT HOT ABBS AND STUFF WAS A COP OUUTTTT LET HIS WHOLE FORM BE DISTORTED OR UR NOT A FUCKING 0 APPEARANCE BITCH#THE BONES SHIFTED BENEATH AS IF TRYING TO HATCH. MANY OTHER THINGS HATCHED ASWELL. THE DEAD IMMORTAL FLESH SOURED#TOO GRAND TO ROT BUT TOO CORRUPTED TO KEEP CLASSIC FORM. MMMONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER#oka y im not going to bed but im gonna go. uh. do miore drugs or something. maybe ill work on more jrwi stuff. or oc stuff.#i hope ur day goes swimmingly thankyou for reading my tags i love you so so so so so much
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I despise any narrative that positions social progressivism as a western concept. why is every immigrant narrative about escaping from the terrible inherent conservatism of the backwards culture your family comes from and being saved by america's unique progressivism. just this disgusting pinkwashing that is exactly the same as any other narrative claiming that the west invented civilization and all those third world barbarians are only just now beginning to learn it from them. america's enemies do not have a monopoly on social conservatism. white people did not invent queer acceptance or anything else of value. death to america idk
#sorry out of character for me to have any political opinions of my own I know. this just got me unreasonably upset#maybe I am just incoherently trying to justify a purely emotional reaction. I don't think so though#I do not relate to any story about your asian immigrant parents being conservative and evil#and the american values you've learned saving you from their backwards culture#like idk we're not the ones sending our kids to conversion therapy bible camp#of course it's possible for parents to suck in ways that are informed by their traditional values#this is not a fucking. foreign thing though. you americans can be just as bad#narcissus's echoes
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how do people even find partners. i dont want a bullshit answer, like really
#maybe im intimidating but no one has been interested in me#its just. rough#and i cant force myself to like anyone romantically if i dont feel compatability#i just want to be cared about in an exclusive way that friendship alone cant fix#i dont post abt this often but i got no sleep so yall gotta deal#its um. crushing sometimes#i dont even know if im aro as cope. once i did THC im more emotionallt aware and its. haha#the people around me tell me things that make me feel like im a catch and i feel it myself but NO ONE has advanced#and ive only felt attracted to one person in my life. who was taken ofc#im not sure it wouldve worked out good though anyway since im more emotionally mature#but it was because he expressed genuine care towards me and made me feel good about myself in honest ways i havent heard from anyone#and made me feel important to him#so im really at a loss#and also our conversations flow really smooth and we agree on many things that we find important#are there any extroverts that confidently wear their hearts on the sleeves and try to bring joy that want me#someone sensitive to my needs#my needs of which are actually very very basic#hi
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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#bridgerton#snarkyhag#i hope you don't mind i'm using from our conversation#I had so much hope for these days off and then I got completely sidetracked#as usual#don't worry i'll be back on track soon#i just#you guys#idek anymore#i am really loving being multifandom though#i have SO MUCH TO LOVE#RB i hope you somewhere laughing your ass off#polination
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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love the idea that after their first kiss when louise threatens rudy if he ever tells anyone he takes their secret to his GRAVE he will never tell another living soul that louise belcher kissed him on valentine's day in 4th grade meanwhile louise got home and told her entire family almost immediately 😭
like seven years later at a high school party someone asks who rudy had his first kiss with and he still remembers louise's threat and he redirects the conversation SO QUICKLY. they've been married for 35 years and he will still never let anyone know that louise was his first kiss bcuz he promised her he wouldn't tell
#it's part fear of how she would react and part genuine respect bcuz he knows louise and he knows she was serious#he's respecting her privacy even though i dont think she'd even care by the time they're in high school lmao#louise told tina and gene aprox 5 seconds after they started walking home from school Tbh#tina's like I got to sky kiss with jimmy junior :D and gene's like i met this really cute cafeteria lady!!!#louise is like me and rudy had our first kiss on the playground for valentine's day and theyre both like WHAT LMAO???#they both are clearly Aware of louise's semi-crush on rudy in later episodes like it had to have been a conversation at some point#txt#bob's burgers
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We ought to write more Pokemon fic some time. We want to recreate the Pokemon Manners/Human Manners cheat sheet that we made a few years ago we think that this site would like the Sliding Scale Of Politeness When Greeting A New Pokemon You've Never Met Before.
#we speak#writing#we grew up with pmd games and we feel like the way that pmd pokemon's dialogue tends to be excessively... direct?#should be a feature and not a bug when any pokemon that you meet might be totally unfamiliar with your species and biology#it's probably very polite to start up front with some basic facts about yourself so they know how to act going forward#the very upfront feel to dialogue also very much helps with keeping the dialogue feel more... pokemon#people mock the series for weird npc dialogue a lot but we think that taking these things literally makes for more fun society building#it doesn't all have to fit with socially acceptable for our world we think. polite in our world isn't even consistent by household.#sometimes a polite interaction sounds like “hello! i'm poochyena! i like to chase people and bite!”#name and immediately socially useful information. now you know about the chasing people and biting so you don't assume it's rude#of course poochyena bites and chases people. it likes to do that. you can say you don't like that and it might stop doing that to You#but it will not stop biting and chasing people because that's what it likes to do and it will probably only befriend people okay with that#it makes a very specific dialogue feel that's very fun to do. we like how the pokemon world tends to treat any sort of like#disability or “weird” things as something that you just say out the gate and everyones like “oh okay”#and then treat that as Part Of Interactions going forwards. there are a surprising amount of parts of the pokemon manga#that are dedicated to working around a character's disability after one or all of their means of dealing with it get taken out#admittedly we aren't that caught up on newer content but we find the way that it tends to be just Accepted as very refreshing#making the dialogue this direct does also tend to make it read as more “childish” in english and particular because a lot of Maturity's jus#learning how to dance around what you're saying or phrase it in different ways to get your idea across differently#whereas here everything is just as direct as possible. “i don't like charmander”. “i like roasting berries”. “i want to dig things up”.#all pokemon dialogue tends to go towards being exceedingly simple and it makes for some very distinct writing#especially when you have to tackle complex situations with characters who probably dont employ that sort of vocabulary#though we personally enjoy doing this sort of stuff your mileage may vary ofc#we are biased towards this sort of thins because we find it MUCH more fun to build up what we're talking about from blocks#than to like. try and use more indirect wording that may lose things in translation#unfortunately this is not fun in irl conversation. everyone has to be on the same page and you need to use the same playbook to communicate#we REALLY wish people said what they meant though. we're really tired of being asked shit like “is this accessible”#when what they mean is “can you climb these stairs” a question which depends on the day our energy level and how things have been going#there are a lot of things we could say that would make us feel like some sort of anti sjw type guy and a lot of em boil down to just#"for the love of god dont dance around a Sensitive Topic just get to the point and ask us about it this just makes things harder for everyo
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Man, I'm replaying Stormblood on a casual alt and the Lyse-Wuk Lamat comparisons absolutely SHIT on Lyse???
Like Stormblood was absolutely Lyse's Story but even at it's most egregious it didn't come anywhere near as In Your Face as Wuk's Story in Dawntrail?? Which is frickin' wild???
Like for real my biggest Stormblood Main Character Complaint is Lyse's first outfit design. Legit all I think about when she's on-screen is how unsupportive her white-ass bra is, and how likely she's dealing with wedgies with her white-ass booty shorts. Fucking for realsies, the rest of her OG outfit is great! But her "I'm 12 and unsure how to deal with puberty" undies-vibes drive me fuckin' nuts.
At least the recent graphic update saved Hien and Gosetsu's outfits? To the point that I'm probably gonna buy Hien's samurai outfit for my Xaela dude who hasn't even unlocked samurai??
Anyway outfit aside, Stormblood MSQ Lyse isn't HALF as frustrating as Dawntrail MSQ Wuk Lamat is, good christ can we stop shitting on Lyse for 5 dang minutes
#ffxiv#also playing through the Azim Steppe on a Xaela is WILDLY WEIRD#there's a couple like. canon notes for Xaela WoLs#that treat us as like. idk. Eorzean immigrants? 2nd gen oddities?#but otherwise WHOLLY IGNORE our Xaela butts#my xaela dude is from the dalamad-worshipping tribe so as far as i know there's no in-game recognition of that#(what a fucking conversation to have with the Twins though lol)#but like. I just won the Naadam#for the Mol tribe#as like the only “canon” Dalamiq guy i know of#is my 2nd moon-worshiping tribe all dead? did they all commit suicide after dalamud exploded?????#i have questions about xaela culture!!!!#and THAT is is my priority over Lyse complaints#Lyse is such a fucking non-isssue oh my god how do people relentlessly compare her and Wuk Lamat#Wuk is SO AGGRESSIVELY A SHONEN PROTAG in a game that otherwise doesn't really? like. do? many anime stereotypes?#wuk my girly furry i want to love you but sweet and sour jesus you are SO BASIC#“peace” this and “peace” that i do NOT fucking care#i don't want to play my secondary alt solely for her peace rants#like fullstop no-joke i just double-checked how to spell “peace” because it stopped meaning anything to me#THAT is how much her poor English VA rants about peace#i follow her poor English VA on twitch!!!#and i still flinch from anything Wuk Lamat might voice because CHRIST ALIVE she never shuts up about peace!#Wuk Lamat I fucking beg and hope you get some earnest character development in the patch quests because you fucking suck in the MSQ
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Have you ever been to Israel ? Or are you planning to ever go to Israel? b'ezrat hashem that’s one of the first things I’m gonna do when I finish my conversion, is go to the holy land. So excited
I have not been outside my state in over three years, so I hope this answers your question 😭
My dad has mentioned wanting to go to Israel and honestly, I'd go with him if that were ever to happen. I have very mixed thoughts about what I want, but if I go to a different country, I'd probably only really want to go to Israel, especially because I'm using most of my language study time on Hebrew (though I'd also go to Germany with my dad because he really wants to go there again and... we're also German, so). There are a lot of things I'd want to collect from Israel, too... 🙏
#ask#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#i'd say my dad's choice in travel that isn't israel would be where i'd also want to go#funnily enough i feel he connects more the german (not in a weird way) side of our family while i connect more with the italian side#i do want to be clear we don't connect with this heritage in a weird fascistic sense#moreso in a 'we are new to america all things considered we likely have relatively close family still in these countries' way#but going to israel does sound like a good time. aside from all the potential bad times#but yeah i don't think i should travel alone beyond my country so that's why i'm talking about my dad in this context#it'd be hilarious if i had to serve as a translator if we ever went though#bruh what if i tutored my dad. there's something amusing about that idea that i might just do it
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apparently now that I am not actively loosing my marbles at social functions (from anxiety unfortunately-timed hormones travel-related tiredness and loneliness) guys want to talk to me
weird
#feather rambles#one tried making conversation this past winter at a study#unfortunately for him I had just learned my dog died that morning and had no social energy to speak of#and now I've got one emailing me [respectfully] from our last trip this past weekend to my dad's overseeing congregation#this one's allergic to cats though#mostly joking#I wouldn't straight-up refuse a guy on those grounds#guys being interested is a new experience though#it's weird#hope I figure out how to handle it well#I've got plenty of good teaching about it#but now I've got to practice#I suppose prayers would be appreciated
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facing the fact that i am an adult and that if someone's behavior is bothering me and i would like them to change it, i am going to have to say that to them with my words, as opposed to just hiding in another room until they cease the behavior that they don't even know is bothering me.
#me @ me in the mirror: it's okay you can go ask your mom's boyfriend to play the guitar slightly less loudly in the communal#living space i know you can i believe in you#i just was hoping i wouldn't have to say anything because it wouldn't come up that often but literally every moment he's not#eating or playing a game he's playing the guitar. SO loudly.#so people keep asking if i want to play a game and i can't answer unless i know if he is going to play the game also#because if he is playing the game he can't play the guitar. which means i can also play the game#but if he's not playing then i won't want to be in the room because it'll be too loud#this is getting ridiculous. i am a grown person.#i just don't understand how no one else is bothered by this. we have to shout to have a conversation!#sometimes my sister plays the guitar in the room while people are doing other things but she plays it softly so it's just nice background#not like. a concert. we are minding our business can you chill out sir#ughhhhhhh#my posts#hashtag lived-by-myself-without-roommates-for-the-past-13-years problems#it's insane how quickly my social battery drains just from the background radiation of having people in my vicinity though
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