#friendship is not an abusive relationship

[thetableshavetabled]

The issue isn't really about the 3-year age gap, but rather about Jean's severely stunted emotional and social development due to his trauma at the Nest.

While Jeremy has had normal experiences like dating, hooking up, partying and drinking, developing independence, making autonomous choices, having consensual intimate experiences, building friendships, discovering his own identity Jean, in contrast, has experienced systematic abuse and control, no autonomy over his body or choices, no opportunity for normal social development, no chance to explore relationships or sexuality on his terms (rather he was directly punished for it), no space to develop his own identity separate from what Riko demanded.

This creates an inherent power imbalance that goes beyond age. It’s part of it, but between the years, the imbalance in experiences and Jeremy’s captaincy….

Jeremy, despite his good intentions, risks becoming a crutch or replacement authority figure rather than an equal partner.

Jean needs time to learn who he is outside of abuse, develop his own preferences and boundaries, experience relationships (romantic or platonic) on his terms, learn healthy intimacy at his own pace and most of all build an identity not defined by trauma.

The concern isn't that they couldn't eventually be compatible, but that Jean needs space to develop as an individual before he can be a true equal partner in any relationship. Jeremy's natural protective instincts could easily slip into infantilization or inadvertent control, even with the best intentions.

It's not that they couldn't work long-term, but Jean needs time to become his own person first. Otherwise, there's a risk of him transferring his dependent patterns from the Ravens to Jeremy, just in a gentler form.

Saw someone say Jean being 19 and Jeremy being 22 was weird.

Bestie, idk how to break it to you, but in college, you can befriend like 28 year olds when you’re 18 and that’s normal. That’s a three year difference where both of them are legally old enough to pay taxes and vote. They’re a senior and a 5th year senior. It’s okay. I promise.

Jean may have been sheltered from normal people, but he isn’t immature at all.

[ilikekidsshows]

So I was on the Miraculous Ladybug wikia and was completely blindsided by this edit in the trivia section of Sublime’s page comparing Marinette’s relationship with Kagami and Sublime and…

Quote: “The way Marinette befriended Sublime mirrors almost exactly the way she befriended Kagami. Both Kagami and Sublime are very accomplished girls with very demanding mothers, whose first encounters with Marinette were very awkward. Not just that, but Marinette also developed an inferiority complex regarding their friendship, seeing both girls as being too perfect to be her friends.

The difference between the beginning of her friendship with Kagami and her friendship with Sublime is that Marinette used to be jealous of Kagami's friendship with Adrien, while Marinette never got jealous of Sublime, but instead just wanted to make the best possible impression with her due to her being friends with Adrien.”

Like wow people are actually buying into this narrative when it’s so freaking clear that Marinette’s situation it’s Sublime is exactly like Kagami’s but even worse because here Marinette is actually in a relationship with Adrien by this point. Like no Marinette did NOT want to be friends with Sublime she was stalking her because she’s the jealous, possessive, crazy girlfriend stereotype who doesn’t trust her own boyfriend or want him to have female friends.

---

Of course the Miraculous wiki editors are Marinette stans, the TV Tropes editors are the same. Everything is always described in a way that makes Marinette sound the best, with her “mistakes” barely getting any mention. There's no giving the facts of what happens in episodes here, when the stans need to make it clear that Marinette had good intentions.

But we know that was just how Marinette justified the things she intended to do no matter what. She'd already decided she was going to insert herself into Sublime's relationship with Adrien. She'd already decided that Sublime was just too amazing to allow unfiltered access to Adrien, because Adrien knowing competent girls without Marinette there to keep an eye on things would ruin their relationship, somehow. Like, Marinette is 100 percent convinced that, if Sublime remains Adrien's friend without Marinette also befriending her, Adrien is gonna break up with her. She says this in the episode, but CLEARLY MARINETTE ISN'T FEELING THREATENED BY THIS GIRL AT ALL.

But, yeah, about the editor thing; despite season 6 apparently having a huge uptick in Marinette salt in the fandom that the Marinette stans can’t shut up about, the TV Tropes page for Miraculous doesn't have a single mention of it. Unintentionally Unsympathetic brings up every single thing a single fan has gotten mad at Adrien or Alya for, but somehow all this new garbage in S6 goes unmentioned, the abuse apologia goes unmentioned, even “Marinette is constantly making mistakes so that she can learn lessons” is unmentioned. Marinette stans don’t just ignore things Marinette does on screen, they ignore the fact that there are huge parts of the fandom, that they constantly complain about, that have issues with the things Marinette canonically does.

Also, the levels of downplaying harm here are ridiculous. That “first meeting awkwardness” was Marinette bullying Kagami repeatedly. Also Kagami’s “demanding mother” abuses her. Abuse Apologia the Show naturally has to have Abuse Apologia the Fandom.

[cherrytea556]

For aromantic awareness week, I want to highlight issues that aromantics deal with:

Forced kisses - We live in a society where consent is not properly conducted so when someone think their owed a kiss on a date, they would either coerce or physically force it on us because of "body language."

The constant portrayal of single childless women as miserable cat ladies who actually DO desire a husband and kids (despite majority being the opposite in reality) all because they can't imagine a woman living life in her own terms, especially an aromantic woman

Aromantics get accused of being abusive or "leading someone on" for being in romantic relationships as if you need attraction to treat people with care.

Despite this, they still try to force aros to date, to "give it a try" in hopes that they feel romantic attraction so they can conform to amatonormative society.

People acting like aromanticism is due to truama or fear of romantic relationships, can't ever grasp that it is an identity someone is born with and can't ever be "cured."

The stupid relationship heirarchy we have where romance is on top and friendship is on the bottom. You have to be on the side because your friends value romance over your friendship with them, people using 'just friends' or 'more than friends,' you and your friend can't have the same ecnomic rights/benefits unless your married.

Your work will see you as less of a person with a life than your married coworker.

You realise your aromantic but have to hide it from your loved/ones you care for to not lose them or not to face shame.

People ignoring your aromanticism by ONLY referring to your asexuality.

People calling your aromanticism asexuality.

Works that's suppose to be about aromanticism such as researching amatonormativity still focuses on asexuals

Aro men being portrayed as sexist sexual perverts while Aro women get ignored in discussion because of patriarchal beliefs people held while pretending they don't uphold the patriarchy; that men wanting only sex with women is evil because that would mean he views her as an object and it's not them actually calling the women objects for choosing to engage in these sexual relationships. Oh, and women can't ever want only sexual relationships according to these people.

Aro trans women and men dealing with both transphobia AND aphobia at the same time (like last point but reverse, hence the transphobia)

Aro enbies being as ignored in conversation.

Sex work being demonised and sex work women constantly portrayed to not work there by choice as if that job isn't something an aromantic women might pursue because again, women wanting sex without romance is unbelievable to these people.

Portraying hookup culture as bad because society can't imagine consensual adults separating sex from romance. In their amatonormative world, romance and sex has to intermingle with each other. This further excludes aros who hookup culture is geared and supportive to, especially when of course, their entirely ignored in the conversation.

Aromantics constantly getting ignored both outside and inside our own community.

That is why we are queer and we have an awareness week, because so many people lack awareness of our very existence. Despite what we face in this amatonormative world, we should be proud of who we are and continue living in stride.

Happy Aromantic Awareness Week everyone.

[cvrnelians]

pisces ♓️

dark!Bucky Barnes x reader: Your ex boyfriend is determined to make your birthday a happy one. (AU where Bucky doesn’t disappear during the snap)

Content warnings: stalking, abusive relationship, unwanted touching, 18+ only.

“Happy Birthday, doll.”

Away. 

You had to get away, and you had to get away now. 

You held onto the bouquet with shaky hands as he passed it to you, gripping onto it for dear life. You didn’t want it. As a matter of fact, a bouquet from your ex boyfriend was the last thing you wanted to be in possession of, but it was helping to ground you at the very least. Tears pooled at the corners of your eyes, slowly streaming down your face as you shook. You took several steps backwards. Bucky stared at you with wide eyes. Surprised, and not in a good way.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to cry. I haven’t hurt you, have I?”

Why was he always so surprised that you were afraid of him? He had spent months following you, terrorizing you, and he still had the audacity to look hurt because you were afraid of him. He moved closer towards you. You continued to walk backwards, trying your best to avoid him. He kept pace with you, stepping forward as you stepped away. You began to slowly circle the room, a strange little dance. It felt like you were facing off with a wild animal. A coyote, a wolf. Something capricious, yet very predictable all at once. Something that could hurt you. 

Something that would.  

“I could’ve. God knows I could’ve. But I didn’t. I wouldn’t.” 

“Bucky, you’re sick.”

He narrowed his eyes, a look of disgust on his face. He stopped moving for a moment. He took a deep breath, as if you were testing his patience. “Sick? You’re calling me sick?”

“Please go away. Please just go away,” you begged. 

“Insulting me on our special day?”

March tenth. Your special day. Your birthday, and evidently Bucky’s, too—except he was turning one hundred and seven (you would never get over that), and you were turning twenty eight. Your shared birthday was something you bonded over when you were together, something you yourself found cute at one point in time. 

Not so much anymore.   

You dug your fingernails into the plastic wrapping surrounding the bouquet, making a crinkling noise. “I won’t tell anyone you were here. Please.” 

He laughed then, a dry laugh. A mean laugh. Mocking. 

“Who exactly are you going to tell?”

“Bucky, please just—” 

“Who do you have left?” he asked, tilting his head to one side. “It’s been just me and you for so long now. Who are you gonna tell?”

He observed you carefully as you digested his words. They felt like a punch to the gut. You could feel your face grow hot as you stared at each other. 

It had been several years since your family and friends first disappeared into thin air. “The snap, the blip,” whatever it was called—it was a cruel twist of fate, and it completely destroyed your life. You met Bucky shortly after you lost everyone; the quiet guy that frequented your favorite coffee shop. He would eventually become your saving grace, the one constant you could rely on. Your friendship slowly turned into something more, and you spent your past several birthdays together.

If there was one thing Bucky understood, it was grief. Losing everything. Along with your birthday, it was what bonded you together initially, that shared loneliness. Your relationship was unique. Different. It had serious depth to it, something you knew you wouldn’t be able to replicate with anyone else. You were practically inseparable. You may not have had anyone else, but at least you had Bucky. Your best friend, your boyfriend. He was your everything.

But you would come to find that intensity wasn’t always a good thing. 

When you started to process your grief and truly try to live life again, rather than be happy for you, Bucky slowly became more and more controlling. Jealous. He suffocated you; sabotaging your new friendships, discouraging you from pursuing your goals. He hadn’t seen it coming when you finally broke up with him, and he certainly didn’t take rejection well. He had been harassing you for almost a full year now.

“Who else do you have but me?” he snapped. “You would be completely alone if it wasn’t for me. Not one person on this earth cares about you more than I do. No one. If not for me, you could disappear and no one would even know you existed. No one would care. No one but me.”

Any and all fear suddenly evaporated from your being at his words, at the smug expression on his face; replaced by pure and unadulterated rage. Hatred. All the pent up anger from losing those closest to you bubbled up to the surface. You couldn’t contain yourself as you dropped the bouquet on the floor, lunging at him. “I hate you!” you screamed, shoving him, clawing at his face. 

He jumped back in surprise, easily grabbing hold of your wrists. He backpedaled, wide eyed and panicking. Bucky hated when you were angry with him. He couldn’t stand it. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean it.” He pulled you into a hug, shushing you as you sobbed. “Please don’t be upset with me. Please don’t cry.”

He held you in his arms as you slowly sank down to the floor. 

“I hate you,” you repeated, your voice muffled in the crook of his neck.

He sighed, resting his hand on the back of your head. “No, you don’t,” he said. “No, you don’t. That’s what you hate.”

You wanted to scream. You were both silent for a while, catching your breath. 

“Happy Birthday, doll. I love you.”

He kissed the top of your head, then your forehead.

“I truly do.” 

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

Okay!!!! I finished TGR!!! I’m never going to shut up about it!!!! But first order of business, and this should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me….

[SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT, I MEAN IT, SO MANY SPOILERS]

JEANEIL BESTFRIENDISMS COMPILATION 🎉

Starting off strong, Jean finding out Grayson is dead and quoting what Neil told him when Riko died. Both of them physically forcing the smile off their faces when their abusers die. Grayson being dead because of Neil, Neil keeping his word and protecting Jean without needing to be asked. I’d die for them both.

Next! Cat asking Jean what Neil did to him when he visited and Jean being offended! Only Jean can insult Neil’s character. JEAN SAYING OUT LOUD THAT HE TRUSTS NEIL. Moreover, Jean saying the Trojans should trust his judgement on Neil.

Now!! The moment I’ll never ever recover from!

Genuinely how am I meant to recover from that? I won’t. Ever. Misplaced forever partners making me cry always.

Sweetheart, that’s not even remotely the same thing.

Neil giving Jean hope for his own future by refusing to hide. Neil being Jean’s first point of reference that he doesn’t have to just accept how he’s been treated. Neil being proof that he could have a relationship without retaliation from his team.

Yes!!!! Yes, you do deserve to get better! And you have people who love you now!!! (And you can call Neil your friend, he’s literally killed for you.)

I am distraught???? This is just like Jean watching the finals match and trying to save Neil, begging for Andrew to get there in time. Psychic damage.

Tbh I think there are more, but I’ve been reading all day. Just know that I love them and they’re best friends in my head.

(maybe I’ll make a compilation for Cody and Jean’s friendship next because they’re sooo so sweet I love them, Cody is my new child)

[justatalkingface]

Bakugou and Izuku's 'Friendship'

Or, what the fuck do you think friendship is?

For the purposes of this post, we're temporarily ignoring... their entire backstory, basiclly. For all intents and purposes, these two met in UA, there's no childhood trauma, no assaults, no demands that Izuku commit suicide, none of that. We're trying to take a look at the current 'friendship' between Izuku and Bakugou.

And, in that spirit, I want to say this: why, in the the name of burning fuck, do you call this a friendship?

No, seriously: I see these posts, here and elsewhere, with clips of, like, Bakugou yelling at Izuku so hard his hair is being blown back. Or hitting Izuku. Or insulting Izuku. And these posts say, unironically (unless I'm missing some weird ass trend) that these are 'Dawww' moment.

You know, like you would go when you see a cute kitten or something.

But it's worse than that, because the manga itself seems to support this; I'll never forget that picture of All Might smiling at Izuku and Bakugou fondly as Bakugou yells his head off, absolutely losing his shit like a bratty five year old, while Izuku is just patiently trying to fight through the torrent of verbal vomit and get to the other side.

Dawww.

Bakugou screaming his head off less than a foot from Izuku's head, probably causing permanent hearing loss? Adorable. Look at what great friends they are, you love to see it!

...I'm sorry? Is... is that what you think friendship is? Do you have a friend that just spends all their free time belittling you? No, I'm being serious: do you have a friend like that? Because, in all seriousness, if you do, I really want you to reassess that relationship.

But, I can almost hear someone say, me and my friend mock each other all the time! Or, maybe, my friend calls me an idiot or some such, but they mean it affectionately!

....Alright, let's break this down a little. A good, healthy relationship, a friendship, whatever, is give and take. You get something out of it, and the other person gets something out of it. It's built off connections, something that bind you together, and mutual trust.

Let me put it like this: let's say your friend calls you a name, and because of your history, that name, that may or may not seem insulting, is in fact not insulting, but instead references your history together. Do they use your actual name? Or does using it cause them almost physical pain, to the point they've only used it once in literal years?

Or this: you fight with your friend. Or berate them. Or something like that. Do you... stop? Do you do something with them other than that? Do you yell at them, just... flat out scream at them, on the top of your lungs? Is all that you do yell at them?

Do you hurt your friends? And I'm not talking about friendly punching: do you throw frozen snowballs at their head? Do you impale them with sharp metal objects?

Yeah... that's the thing with Bakugou's 'friendship' with Izuku: there's no actual friendship to it. Bakugou insults and attacks Izuku, and in response he.... puts up with it. All friendships are different, sure, but there is a line, where things cross over into cruelty or abusive behavior: I have a friend who I mock, and I would never do to them what Bakugou does to Izuku all the fucking time. Ever. I hope with all sincerity that if I did what Bakugou does? That someone would slap me, because that is not OK.

More than that, though, is the fact that a good friendship should be more than that: even good hearted ribbing can be hurtful if it happens too much. When does Bakugou stop? When has Bakugou interact with Izuku in a healthy way? When have they just had a conversation, one where he isn't yelling, that's not loaded with hurtful subtext from the past, or with Bakugou demanding something from Izuku, anything like that? When do they.... play video games, or engage in some sort of activity together? And, before anyone says something, that is not part of the training they do as part of their school, as ordered by their teacher, because that doesn't actually count (not that he does that then, either).

And, on that topic.... 'But Bakugou saved Izuku's life!'. Well. First off that entire situation, as I've said before, is stupid forced bullshit to railroad Izuku into needing to be saved at all, while somehow giving Bakugou enough time to save him (even though Izuku could... save himself in that situation, since Bakugou had all this time to fly over?), all while making him act OOC, in that 'He's totally redeemed, guys!' way Hori loves, to make him save Izuku at all!

But let's ignore that. Let's say that, actually, Bakugou just saved Izuku in a normal way. Here's the thing: saving people is, in fact, his actual job. It doesn't matter if it was Izuku, or Bakugou's mom, or some random scrub off the street: Bakugou's actual job, as a hero, is to save people. Him doing it is something that deserves acknowledgement, sure (if only because of how wildly out of his usual behavior patterns that is), but it's not a sign of friendship. The entire point of that, as Bakugou's 'growth', is that he grew enough to get past his ego to help other people like a hero should.

And, I swear to fuck, if you try to tell me Bakugou 'apologizing' to Izuku, insincerely by his own admission, after attacking him, is a sign of friendship? I really, really, really, want you to sit down, picture your friend leading a mob of people you trust to attack you, after you've spent days alone, fighting for your life against people trying to kill you, only for them to promptly apologize while saying 'it changes nothing'.

Think about that, and think about how that would make you feel.

[linkcharacter]

Oh I have so many thoughts on aroace Curly, I think it brings so much on the table when analyzing the game's story.

Amanormativity ties in with the reoccurring mentions of the nuclear family, from Wrong Organ making 1950s mock advert posters, to Swansea talking about how getting a wife and kids didn't bring him any fulfillment in life.

In the cake cutting nightmare sequence, where Jimmy talks with Dream Curly about the mediocre cake, Dream Curly begins to talk about how sometimes you can only get the subpar stuff in live. Sometimes he'll get promoted, buy a house, fall in love. But other times he'll just have some awful fucking cake with his friend.

I think there is that subtle implication that Jimmy does buy into Amanormativity, with him projecting his beliefs on Dream Curly that a platonic relationship is lesser then a romantic one. But we never see Curly suggesting that he wants such a thing in the pre-crash.

With Jimmy thinking that Curly has everything in life, except for the desire (although I think Jimmy would view it as Curly not having the skills for it) to get a romantic partner, he would heavily lean into getting the one thing that Curly couldn't get in life to one up him.

THATS EXACTLY WHAT IM THINKING!!! AMATONORMATIVITY BE DAMNED!!!!

Looking at Mouthwashing through an aroace lens is interesting

"Jimmy thinking that Curly has everything in life, except for the desire", well said, well said! And references to the nuclear family fit in very cleanly thematically for Mouthwashing.

Jimmy leaning into amatonormativity is a smart observation. Jim internalizes all the social norms and standards on what you have to do to have a normal and desirable life, who sees everything Curly has and what Jimmy wishes he had, and is offended that Curly isn't satisfied, that he has the "audacity" to be unhappy. Curly meanwhile only wishes for his life to be something he doesn't have to run from, because by all means, he has already reached a point where he should feel accomplished, but isn't. Curly doesn't want to be a freighter captain his whole life, he doesn't want to settle with his sustainable position, he just wants to be happy. Like Swansea who has reached the "ideal" outcome of his life, having a wife, kids and a good career, it will never feel as good as embracing all what society deems undesirable yet right for you.

Jimmy does imply to seeing himself as lesser as a friend, "fall in love" being a goal and a "cake with a friend" being something he "has to settle for", it's all in the subtleties with underlying themes of "what you're "supposed to want" by society's expectations" against "what feels right for you". Jimmy is frustrated that Curly is going to "leave the dirt behind him", when in actuality, letting the crew and him go is the last thing Curly wants. Curly wants to be with his friends, he deeply cares about his crew, and about his close friend.

Mouthwashing as a whole reads to me as platonic through and through. Swansea and Daisuke having such a meaningful familial bond, Curly and Anya being sweet, playful and caring without romance, Anya and Daisuke having something of a siblings dynamic are dear to me. Also it's really rare to get to see representations of "toxic friendship" in media. Its always toxic romance this, toxic yaoi that, toxic family there, however in reality, friendships aren't excluded from being as rotten and abusive as the others, yet they're often overlooked. Jim and Curly are especially unique in this way. It's very impressive how they managed to showcase Jimmy's mistreatment of Curly in such a platonic way (at least that how I read it). Jim too, like Curly, in general avoids hints at romance and attraction explicitly related to him during his gameplay, not with Curly, nor with Anya (dear god thanks for that at least). It's all spite, annoyance and parasitizing off of these two. (That man's dry and lowkey hates everyone and everything) No attraction attached, no desires except hoping it hurts.

Curly to me is very much aroace, or at least on the spectrum. Like, the trivia fact that one of Curly's fondest memories is that of his friends putting in effort to make a shitty awful cake, tells us all we need to know on how dear his friends are to him. Platonic relationships mean so much to Curly, even when it's Jimmy fucking Mouthwashing, the worst friend ever imaginable.

[pandemonini]

It's the tendency of fandom to always push the blame onto one side when there is a pair in a story who have some kind of drama between them. I think post-epinagi there is zero reason to excuse to say that Nagi doesn't care about Reo; his communication issues aren't limited to Reo, it's the natural result of being left to raise himself by absent parents and spending his life up until the meeting with Reo with only a cactus to communicate with (and possible neurodivergency since he shows obvious signs of clinical depression, but that's getting speculative).

There is also the matter of how their relationship started off from an unhealthy place where they both believed it to be transactional, Reo tells him to his face that he will abandon him if he wasn't good at football, the following "but I can tell you're irreplaceable" is still being spoken within the context of Nagi's talent in football. The combination of being led to believe his friendship with Reo hinges on him improving at football and his poor (close to nonexistent, more like) communication skills would unsurprisingly result in that kind of explosive confrontation between the two of them especially as Reo himself had yet to actually realise what Nagi meant to him, until he was left to believe that he's lost him.

Their relationship is very complicated and clearly impacted by their unhealthy family life but because Nagi is more emotionally stunted while Reo is very overtly sensitive, it's easy to point the finger of blame at only one of them.

(This isn't to entirely dismiss the faults of either of them, and it's true that it really seemed like Nagi convinced himself that Reo would just understand him without words so that he could get out of the obligation to verbalise his thoughts.)

But with all of this said, I still don't know how anyone can look at the one hundred and one instances of Nagi repeating Reo's name, reaffirming Reo's importance to him, praising him and thinking about him, the supplementary stuff we're told by the author and other people who worked on the show regarding their relationship, and conclude that they're exactly the same as the fundamentally toxic and semi-abusive relationship Kaisar and Ness have.

Mind you that I actually like KaiNess, I do think that Kaisar cares in his own Very unhealthy way, but their entire relationship was established on the premise of Kaisar taking advantage of Ness and continued being just that, which is completely unlike Nagi and Reo's dynamic which was first one of mutual benefit and very quickly morphed into something much more genuine, regardless of the miscommunication issues between them. Kaisar has Issues(tm) that neither Nagi nor Reo have, I assume that in the comparisons Nagi is the Kaisar to Reo's Ness which is like... saying Nagi "my favourite food is the one that takes the least effort" Seishiro is anything like Michael "I have 5 mental disorders+1 undiagnosable illness" Kaisar is honestly hilarious.

Why do people compare Reonagi to Kainess. Reo and Nagi actually care about and like each other, they just have horrible communication while I don’t know if Kaiser even sees Ness as a human being let alone like him.

[rabbittongues]

intoxicated by terror and worry

[trianglesimpfordpines]

victim_blaming.jpg

[mayadoesfandomstuff]

Now with reading summaries of the podcast episode and watching some of the clips, it genuinely triggers my anxiety hearing about how Dream treated his friends and especially those who are more vulnerable than him (like Tommy being a teenager), especially since I experienced the same kind of thing with one of my ex toxic friend from about last year this time and it's so unnerving.

Tommy saying that he tried settling things privately, keeps getting empty apologies, and then for Dream to just keep doing what he was doing without changing anything really brought me back to my own conversations where I would basically almost beg her to reflect on how she's hurt me and her apologizing with a "I'm sorry you felt that way." and then continuing on to act the same way.

Tommy and Jack talking about how it was almost like he didn't understood what he did was wrong and it taking so much to explain things to him and in the end the whole thing not clicking, reminded me of long conversations I had with her trying to make her understand why she was being hurtful and still, at the end of it, still not agreeing with me on why her words were hurtful to a mutual friend.

Tommy questioning whether or not he's accurate on how badly dream treats him and only having very few people to vent to really hit hard and it brought me back to when I could only talk about how bad my ex friend was to me to only one person who wasn't trying to play devil's advocate for her. Someone who was also hurt and has also publicly expressed her disdain for her to the rest of the friend group and we honestly felt like conspiracy theorists half the time who couldn't speak about this publicly or outside our most inner circles (i.e. just us and maybe my family members).

There's so much of this that they talked about that I'm seeing disturbing parallels to me and that relationship and it does make me wonder if it was just a toxic friendship or outright emotional abuse or both or am I crazy or whatever because it's not like we had a large age gap and the only thing she may have over me was that she was physically abled while I was housebound and nearly isolated except with my family and online conversations with our same mutual friends and maybe she was lighter skinned and was actively colorist against me and my other friend that she also hurt but man, this is really making me think.

My heart goes out for Tommy and I do hope that he closes this chapter of his life and finds success in his new ventures and hoping that he never has to interact with Dream or his associates again.

[as-thoughts]

Clint and Melissa’s friendship IS great in the original Thunderbolts run, though I wouldn’t say she fell in love with him. Early on in Thunderbolts she tries to kiss him once and he rejects her because she's clearly just distressed about Abe being in prison.

After that they have a strong friendship that sometimes reminds me of his relationship with Kate.

What I love about their friendship is that Clint and Melissa have very similar backgrounds and character journeys. They’re both from abusive family environments, they’re both runaways, wrestling and the circus are similar weirdo careers, they both became villains initially but quickly reformed and set out to redeem themselves. And then they both end up becoming team leaders. I love them!!

hi there! as the foremost clint barton expert on this site, i have what i hope is a fun question for you: do you have any favorite underrated/often forgot about friendships between clint and any other heroes? in my writing i'm realizing i kinda default to the same like 3 characters and it would be fun to expand that roster, but also my read through of his comics is very, very slow going lol. thanks for existing, and ofc no pressure to answer if you don't want to! 🫡

would love to know what the 3 characters are in case i end up accidentally picking one--i'm gonna assume cap and tony are out, and anyone more cap-affiliated, as well as long-term relationships, so i'll skip those. here goes:

clint and rhodey had a good thing going in the 90s

disrobing while having home-cooked chili with the bros

so much so that they were called "brothers in arms" (it was the 90s. don't ask.), and clint also happened to regularly appear with rhodey in the 90s iron man cartoon (wearing his ugly 90s costume. don't ask). it started with rhodey, as iron man, being on the first iteration of the west coast avengers when clint opened up shop. he was at the inaugural bbq!

in the wca, bbqs always followed a moment of respect and admiration, or when you gazed longingly at your teammate, or on sundays, or when you cleaned the fridge

after bobbi died, rhodey was one of the only avengers clint "let in" and seemed close to for a bit. they briefly channeled their friendship again when clint was ronin and appeared in an issue of war machine around that time (it was a mini wca reunion), but the friendship's been kind of forgotten in the comics. rip

2. clint and wanda have been good friends since starting out in the avengers together as ~reformed villains~ on cap's kooky quartet. our favorite annoying (ok that was almost entirely on clint's end) 19-21yos grew into their own and have remained close as a result

they've gone shopping together. they have diner dates.

once again, chili is involved.

mind you the friendship got strained when she killed him twice, but he...got over it? whatever. pietro can tag along if he wants

3. clint and pietro. just kidding! they're haters. if pietro killed clint twice he would say yeah that checks out and shoot acid at his shoes. but they love to hate each other. even now, pietro thinks he's winning the hating game by saying his eulogy will be better than clint's

pietro has never tried clint's chili

but clint is actually winning the hating game bc he already had a eulogy, and by eulogy i mean he ensured he had no eulogy and thus it consisted of 0 words.

clint could show up at pietro's funeral and say "lol" and it would meet pietro's standards. it's called playing the long game

4. for historical accuracy i should mention clint and hank pym were always friendly when on the same roster.

now i'm going to be honest with you. i have no idea what the current status is regarding hank. last i remember he was basically dead and ultron had taken over most of his body robocop style? a controversial entry i guess. i doubt you'll find yourself in a situation where you're writing hank pym if you're not in the weeds but there we go. the friendship dynamic was transferred to the emh cartoon iirc

there isn't a panel confirming hank actually tasted clint's chili and that's why he's dead(?) now.

5. hawkeye and two-gun kid. i also doubt you will ever end up writing the two-gun kid; i just want everyone to remember that clint is obsessed with cowboys. he once left the avengers and ran off to a dude ranch with this time-displaced cowboy (clint brought him to the future), and when clint was time-displaced a different time, he immediately sought out this cowboy.

they had chili here

6. clint and jen started out competitive, and by that i mean clint was being a dick and then he broke his leg so he sulked about it. jen threw a taxi at him. deserved. they've have always had a sort of will-they-won't-they energy going on; and one time, they did--in an alternate universe (don't ask). jen cured clint of misogyny (this is a joke). thanks, jen.

you'll notice two-gun is also here....

7. karla sofen is not a hero. karla sofen is arguably not a friend. this is like "are they lovers?" "worse." but the other way around?

you probably can't have a situation where clint and karla roll up to have a casual conversation out of nowhere. this doesn't fit your prompt at all. i just wanted to remind everyone that karla and clint had a real thing. an indescribable thing.

karla hates clint's chili. karla will tell clint she hates his chili. but by god is karla eating it

8. i wasn't gonna put clint and jan bc they technically had a relationship as well, but jan loves clint. clint loves jan. consistently best buds!

9. clint and khonshu. i'm just kidding, this is a one-sided crush on khonshu's end

because he lacks a corporeal form, khonshu is unable to taste hawkeye's chili. but he wants to. he wants to.

[blissfulrain12]

Cockpit Conversation Analysis

So I just wanted to go over my thoughts on this conversation cause I think people miss out on a few things. It's the first conversation we see between Curly and Jimmy when it's just the two of them. Before it happens we're told that Jimmy has been difficult with Anya, making her job harder and saying things that are sexual harassment (if the cartoon horse question isn't actually on the eval). We go into the conversation with the framing that Jimmy and Curly are friends. They've known each other for a long time and Curly is confident Jimmy won't bullshit him. Except on the way to the cockpit we get Curly's one and only bizarro moment and it's an expression of fear and anxiety. With this context in mind let's look at the actual conversation.

Transcript from @familiarartistname they're awesome for providing these.

I've already talked about these lines a bit but to sum up Jimmy asks Curly to fake it and Curly refuses to forcing him to go through the eval.

What I want to point out for this post is that Jimmy's not wrong in his assessment of how useless the psych evals are. I think his general irritation with the eval helps mask his disdain for Anya. Especially if being attracted to cartoon horses is an actual question in universe and not just an easter egg on the in game eval sheet. If it is I think this is part of why Curly and Anya don't take Jimmy as seriously as they should here.

I also think it's important to note how and when Curly bends the rules. He'll do Jimmy's eval for Anya but he won't make up answers for Jimmy. I think this is an example of the balancing act that Curly is engaged in as captain.

These next lines are interesting to me. One is that Curly seems to take separation of what PE needs to know and not know. He makes it clear that whatever Jimmy says here is not going to be repeated to the company. He does something similar for Anya when he thinks she took the gun during a breakdown over the layoffs. Notably he doesn't open up to Anya during his own eval. I wouldn't be surprised if part of the reason he doesn't is because of a lack of this distinction. This is also another example of Curly doing that balancing act of being a captain. Managing what the company should know while protecting his coworkers' mental health.

The other interesting part is Jimmy's answer to the question. He likes it cause they're in control here. I think Jimmy is the most positive about working for PE and it's all because he feels in control. I think people miss it but Jimny is happy for the most part pre layoff. He's in control what more could he want?

I think it's interesting that he says this because on paper Jimmy's not in control. I've seen people call Jimmy Curly's co-captain but he's not. He's just the co-pilot and by the looks of things isn't actually of higher rank than the rest of the crew. Post crash it takes 2 months for him to take the captain title and he gets push back from the others. If he did outrank them or was co-captain leadership would have instantly passed to him but it doesn't. Yet Jimmy says "We're in control" because Curly's control is his control because he controls/leeches off of Curly. I think this line is our first warning sign that something's not quite right with their relationship.

This part of the conversation has a lot going on even though it's so few lines. First it tells us that Jimmy liking the job is unexpected because he's struggled in the past and people praise Curly as a captain and Jimmy doesn't like that.

Focusing on Jimmy's line I think this is the first line that people pick up on that their friendship is strange because who tells their friend people praising them is annoying? If you look at the flow of the conversation there's no reason for Jimmy to bring this up as well. It goes "How are you?" "Great" "That's unexpected because of your past" "Yeah well people praising you is annoying". They're not talking about Curly or how people see him as a captain. Jimmy brings it up and calls it annoying simply to hurt Curly.

Jimmy takes Curly bringing up his struggles as an attack so he attacks back by making him feel bad about something good. Remember that when Jimmy brings this up during the birthday scene he misquotes Curly as saying "struggle of a life" when that's not what Curly said at all. That's how Jimmy felt about it though. This also isn't the last time Jimmy uses Curly's success as a captain as a weapon against him either. The way Jimmy does this is also very emotionally abusive. Jimmy isn't just framing praise for Curly as bad but bad because it upsets Jimmy. It might not seem like much but comments like these are links in a chain, they add up together.

For Curly's part of the conversation I've seen interesting interpretations of what those "struggles" were but I think we do lose some context sometimes. It's important to remember that Curly thinks Jimmy's struggles would've led him to dislike being a freighter pilot. Meaning his struggles are most likely more personal in nature.

So Jimmy switches topics again by asking Curly what's bothering him. Jimmy also does this during the birthday party scene. He seems very intune with Curly's emotions able to see past any attempts to hide it and see that he's upset. Which does indicate their closeness and friendship.

As for the last line looking at this transcript made me realize how much the fandom associates this suicidal imagery with Curly even though it's Jimmy who says it. In fact I don't think Curly ever describes his feelings like this it's always Jimmy who says it about Curly. This is a very odd way to ask your friend why he seems upset and iirc the next time Jimmy brings this imagery up to Curly is right before he attempts a murder-suicide.

(The line "And that's bad?" should be green as that's Jimmy.)

Curly's answer to Jimmy's question is very interesting because it's not uncommon for people his age to feel this way. We spend the first part of our lives growing into, discovering, and establishing the people we're going to be. When we hit our 30s/40s it's natural to look over who you've become and what you've made for yourself and ask "Am I satisfied with this?" I think for Curly he's leaning towards "no".

It's not that Curly thinks he's above his job, he's just not satisfied in it. It's like how Swansea isn't satisfied with the life of a family man even though society says that's the "right" way to live. Curly is weighing the risks and benefits of staying in a steady job he's successful at vs starting over with something that will satisfy him even if he's not conventionally successful at it. It's a heavy decision to make and we know from the dlc for How Fish Are Made that Curly regrets not changing sooner.

As for Jimmy's response, he in fact doesn't get it. It's fascinating how Jimmy took Curly's words about life satisfaction and turned it into being about career success and hierarchy. Curly's feelings have nothing to do with reaching the top of his career but Jimmy can't see this. Jimmy sees the world through Capitalist/Patriarchal hierarchies and has a habit of projecting his feelings/pov onto others. This is the closest he can get to understanding where Curly is in his life right now. Which makes sense because Jimmy comes from poverty and has struggled in the past he's not at the same life stage as Curly.

It's also fascinating that again we see imagery that the fandom associates with Curly being something Jimmy says about Curly and that Curly never expresses. The only time this imagery comes up for Curly iirc is his bizzaro sequence leading up to this conversation with Jimmy. The ladder is a metaphor Jimmy imposes on Curly. He also kind of imposes this sense of ambition onto Curly. Like it's only natural that after reaching the top of one ladder a man would look for a new ladder to climb.

There's something about the last thing Jimmy says here that is necessary to point out because I think people miss it. Jimmy turns the conversation back to himself. He's made Curly's feelings about himself and once again made Curly's feelings in opposition to his own. Curly's dissatisfaction while being at the top vs Jimmy still climbing.

Lastly Curly knows Jimmy doesn't get it. "Something like that" indicates Jimmy's interpretation isn't right and later in the birthday party scene Curly reinforces this by saying things like "what I was trying to tell you". So yeah Curly knows that Jimmy doesn't understand him but doesn't try to explain further.

Curly's last bit of dialog in this scene is him comforting Jimmy. Remember how I said Jimmy recenters himself despite the conversation at this point being about Curly? This is what I mean. Jimmy asked Curly to be vulnerable with him and Curly ends up comforting Jimmy. Jimmy gives Curly no words of reassurance here, in fact Curly doesn't even get understanding.

In comparison see my Dead Pixel analysis where even though Curly doesn't see the pixel he still believes Anya and aligns with her opinion of the screen being nice. There's no alignment here between Curly and Jimmy, they are talking about 2 different things and it's one sided in Jimmy's favor. In the Dead Pixel convo notice how Anya continues to open up to him, she goes from the pixel to the time left to the locks. Curly in comparison stops trying.

This line also establishes Curly's belief in Jimmy. A belief that even this conversation demonstrates that he shouldn't have. But it's subtle and I can't blame Curly for missing all the things wrong here when so many of the fandom misses it too. We give the conversation the benefit of the doubt because they're friends and we don't know the full scope of Jimmy yet. It's also interesting cause this is the only time Curly says he believes in Jimmy outright and yet the way he believes Anya about Jimmy brings up questions for another time.

Alright last bit and it's from Jimmy himself. So two things from those first lines. One we have Jimmy back to feeling good from Curly's belief in him. A reminder that back when he was asked how he was doing he was fine. Jimmy's feelings are the priority here. Two we see Jimmy's insecurities in here. He's insecure about how his eval comes across. He's very insecure about how he's precieved which comes up again and again through his obsession with reputation, being a hero, and being a patriarch. I also think this points to where his struggles might be in. The evals are labeled as psychological but the actual questions are about employee productivity. Which part of that Jimmy is worried about I'm not sure.

Then we get the message from corporate and Jimmy is instantly out of there. Which brings me back to the beginning. Jimmy likes it there cause "we're in control" and yet when the responsibility of that control shows up he excuses himself. Granted there may be a rule that no one else can be in the room when messages come in but that reinforces the fact that Jimmy doesn't have any power on paper. He's not a co-captain. Jimmy's sense of control comes from his power over Curly.

So yeah my final thoughts? This conversation is unhealthy and it's the nicest conversation we see Jimmy have with the actual Curly. We get a little joking around here and there but one on one longer convos? This is as nice as it gets. In context Curly experiences feelings of fear, anxiety, and isolation on his way to this conversation. It's full of unhealthy moments and the one sided prioritizing of Jimmy's feelings. The status quo for them has not changed yet. If this is an example of what their average conversations are like their relationship is emotionally abusive.

Imagine having a friendship where you have to always prioritize your friend's emotions over your own. Where if you say something that bothers them they take verbal potshots at you. Where they make you feel guilty for being more successful. Where they make your vulnerabilities about them. It's like I said it's links in a chain. By themselves it's not a problem but together over time these behaviors will do damage to a person.

And putting this conversation back into context this is one of three verbally abusive moments we witness in the span of a week. And there are indicators that in each that these abusive behaviors aren't new. Curly in this conversation doesn't question Jimmy claiming control or the "praise for you is annoying" comment. None of this is weird to him and that's a bad sign. Abusive behavior was already normalized on the Tulpar, it was a powder keg waiting to happen.

[furiousgoldfish]

Share your biggest red flags for friends/romantic partners! If you feel like it, explain why are these your red flgs. Mine are:

aggressive/threatening behaviour or phrases (if they even jokingly say 'I'll kill you' they're out)

physical violence (it happens even with friends sadly)

gaslighting (if someone tries to revise the past to make themselves look better, out)

self-obsession (only talks abt themselves, neglects you and doesn't care for your plights)

bigotry (say something racist, homophobic or sexist, or otherwise hateful towards minorities, out)

guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation (if I constantly feel guilty around them, nah)

responds badly to boundaries (If I withdraw for my mental health and they get angry at me, out)

lack of basic empathy (if they're apathetic to the world's suffering, thats crazy to me)

attempts at control (if they try telling me what to do, wear, where to go, what decisions to make, no thank you)

insists on quickly developing connection (if they're pretending we're soulmates and need to immediately be super close like we know each other forever, open up and bond about everything, and they don't respond to attempts at slowing it down, thats creepy bye)

you only exist for them sometimes (you are completely ignored until the exact second they need something or have nobody else to complain to)

conscenders/criticts/beraters (talk to me rudely and you are chucked. I will not be condescended to by god or anyone else)

[inevitablysomber-dark]

Under The Radar 1

Started a new AU called Affectionate Obsession, with Steve Rogers as the first Character Story Series to be told I hope you all enjoy and don't be afraid to tell me what you think.

Dark! Steve Roger x Kiwi! Reader

Warnings:

This story contains themes of emotional manipulation, power imbalance, dubious consent, toxic relationships, and psychological control. It deals with difficult subjects such as forced dependency and mental/emotional abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

Description: Kiwi thought she had her life under control—until a chance invitation to the Maldives from her former friend pulls her into a web of manipulation and control. What starts as a luxurious vacation turns into a slow descent into captivity as Steve, the wealthy man funding her escape from reality, begins to tighten his grip on her life. Now trapped in a toxic relationship where affection becomes control, Kiwi must navigate a world where every decision is made for her, every boundary crossed, and escape seems impossible.

Is it too late to reclaim her freedom, or will she succumb to the life Steve has crafted for her?

Story Masterlist

The low hum of the factory machinery buzzed in my ears as I sat in the breakroom, staring at the sad sandwich I’d slapped together this morning. How did I end up here? After years of hard work and late-night study sessions, my Finance degree didn’t seem to mean anything anymore. Instead of crunching numbers and living the life I’d dreamed of, I was here—packaging cardboard boxes and watching my future slip away.

I glanced down at my phone, a knot forming in my throat. Rent was coming up in two weeks, and I had no idea how I was going to scrape the money together. The thought of moving back in with my parents twisted my stomach in knots. No way could I go back to their judgmental looks, the snide remarks about my life choices, or their constant need to belittle everything I’ve done. I'd rather sleep on a park bench than deal with that.

My phone buzzed on the table, jolting me from my thoughts. I looked down at the screen and felt my heart sink a little deeper.

Sharon.

Of all the people who could be reaching out, she was the last person I expected—or wanted—to hear from. We hadn’t spoken since graduation, and that was by design. Things between us hadn’t ended well, and the fact that she was contacting me now couldn’t mean anything good.

With a sigh, I swiped to answer. "Hello?"

"Wow, you actually picked up," Sharon's voice dripped with that same smugness that always made me grit my teeth. "I wasn’t sure if you were still alive."

I rolled my eyes, immediately regretting answering. "Yeah, still kicking. How are you?" I shot back, not even trying to hide my sarcasm.

"Fabulous, of course." Her voice was so sugary sweet it made my stomach churn. "Anyway, I’ll get to the point. A few of us are going on a trip—Maldives. One-month private villa. You should come."

I blinked, trying to process what she’d just said. A month-long vacation in the Maldives? Out of nowhere?

"Uh… I don’t think I can," I muttered, the discomfort rising up my spine. "I’m working right now, and I can’t afford a trip like that."

There was a brief silence, followed by Sharon’s familiar, annoyed huff. "Steve’s paying for everything, so don’t worry about that."

As if money was the only issue. I shook my head, feeling my frustration rise. "It’s not just about money. I can’t take off from work for two months."

"Why not?" she snapped, sounding genuinely confused, like the concept of having to work to survive was foreign to her. "Just quit."

I almost laughed at how ridiculous she sounded. "I can’t just quit, Sharon. I need this job. Some of us actually have bills to pay."

"Whatever," she sighed, clearly losing interest. "Look, if you change your mind, you’ve got three months to figure it out. We’re leaving in July."

I clenched my jaw, fighting back a smart remark. "I’ll let you know."

And with that, she hung up.

I stared at the phone, my mind spinning. Why now? Why was Sharon suddenly interested in inviting me on this extravagant trip after all this time? After everything that happened?

Shoving the phone back into my pocket, I shook off the nagging feeling. Whatever she and her clique were up to, I wasn’t about to fall for it. Not this time.

I had more pressing things to worry about—like making it through the rest of my shift without falling apart.

***

Three weeks after Sharon’s call, I found myself standing in the manager’s office, trying to make sense of the words coming out of her mouth.

“Budget cuts,” Diane said flatly, as if that explained everything.

“But I’m the only one being fired,” I pointed out, confusion mixing with anger. “How does that make sense?”

Diane shrugged, clearly uninterested. “It’s just how things are.”

I knew better than to push back too much, but it still gnawed at me. Budget cuts? No way. This factory wasn’t exactly rolling in dough, but I’d seen plenty of new hires lately. So why me?

As I walked out of her office, I thought back to the time I’d corrected Diane on… well, something trivial. She’d been going on about a new process we had to follow, and I’d pointed out a mistake in her instructions. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. I remembered she’d gone all red in the face, tight-lipped, and I could tell she didn’t appreciate being corrected, but it seemed like she was over it.

Did she have something to do with this? It didn’t make sense. I was practically invisible at the factory. Why would she care?

Still, it stung. Whatever the real reason, I was out of a job.

A few weeks later, my luck hadn’t changed. I spent every waking moment job hunting, praying something would come through before the end of the month. But it didn’t.

When it became clear I couldn’t afford my rent anymore, I had to make a decision: drown in debt or swallow my pride and move back in with my parents.

I hated the idea. But bills were piling up, and the pressure was too much, so I chose my parents.

The moment I walked through the door with my boxes, my mom took it upon herself to help me unpack—which, of course, meant a nonstop commentary on all the poor decisions I’d made in life.

“I told you this would happen,” she said, folding one of my shirts with military precision. “You never listen. You should have stayed closer to home, gone into something practical. But no, you wanted to follow your dreams.”

I clenched my jaw, biting back the urge to snap. It was always the same speech: how I should’ve done this, should’ve done that. As if I didn’t feel bad enough already. But I stayed quiet, nodding along while she reminded me just how incapable I was.

I’d been living with my parents for a month and a half now, and I was at my breaking point. Their constant nagging, the tension, the way they hovered over me—it was driving me insane. I needed out.

One week before Sharon and the girls were set to leave for the Maldives, I caved. Desperation took over, and I found myself texting Sharon, asking if there was still space for me on the trip.

Honestly, I didn’t expect her to respond. But then, there it was: a yes. Along with a list of things to pack and an address of where to meet them.

I stared at my phone in disbelief for a second. I was actually going to do this. Anything to get away from my parents.

When I told them about the trip, their reaction was immediate approval. Of course, the second they heard Sharon and Steve would be there, they were practically pushing me out the door.

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” my mom beamed. “Sharon’s such a successful young woman. You should really try to get back on her good side.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course they loved Sharon. She was everything they wanted me to be—successful, put together, and always in the right circles. And Steve? They practically worshiped the guy. The heir to a tech empire. Who wouldn’t?

“Just make sure there’s no more falling outs this time,” my dad added, like I’d ever intentionally ruined things with Sharon.

I remembered the first time I told them about our fallout. They acted like I’d told them I was addicted to drugs, and they never really forgave me for it.

Now, it seemed I was being given a second chance to make everything “right.”

And honestly? I wasn’t sure I wanted to, but at this point, I’d do anything to get away from here.

***

I couldn’t shake the feeling that this whole trip might be some elaborate prank. I half-expected to show up and find a hidden camera crew waiting to embarrass me. But here I was, standing in front of a private jet, struggling with my heavy luggage.

“Need a hand?” a man’s voice cut through my thoughts. Before I could even respond, he was already taking my bags, prying them from my grip with an ease that felt almost dismissive.

"Uh, thanks," I muttered, watching him haul the luggage up the steps of the jet. Was this even real?

Inside, Sharon was waiting, her bright smile as fake as I remembered. “Kiwi! Oh my God, look at you!” Her eyes swept over me, lingering on all the wrong places. “Still… you,” she added, her tone too sharp to be anything close to nice.

“Yeah,” I replied, biting back the instinct to roll my eyes. Same old Sharon. Still poking at me for being shorter and curvier than the rest of them. “Still me.”

I looked to Natasha, Jane and Pepper and waved before following them into the Private Jet.

Sharon smirked, gesturing toward the jet's sleek interior. “Welcome aboard. I bet it’s been a while since you’ve ridden in anything like this?”

I didn’t bother with a response. There were a million reasons why I didn’t fly on private jets, one being that I couldn’t afford too, but it wasn’t worth the energy. I followed Sharon inside, catching sight of the group lounging around like they belonged there.

Steve was the first to greet me, his golden hair practically glowing in the soft light as he flashed that easy smile. “Hey, Kiwi,” he said, patting the seat beside him. His tone was friendly—maybe a little too friendly—but I hesitated. Before I could move, Natasha grabbed my arm and steered me toward a different seat.

“We saved you a spot over here!” Natasha chimed, squeezing my arm with just a bit too much excitement. She shot a quick glance at Steve, then back at me, like there was something I wasn’t picking up on.

Peter was already seated across from me, leaning back with a casual confidence that made me uncomfortable. His dark eyes met mine for a split second, and he gave a small nod. There was nothing awkward or out of place about him—if anything, he looked like he belonged here. Like this was exactly where he wanted to be.

“Glad you could make it,” Peter said, his voice smooth and low. There was something about the way he said it, something that felt off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

The conversations around me were light, but every now and then, I’d catch something—a quick glance between Steve and Peter, a soft chuckle from one of the boys, or Sharon’s eyes sparkling with something that wasn’t amusement. It felt like they were all in on something, like the air was thick with an inside joke I wasn’t a part of.

I tried to brush it off, joining in on the small talk and ignoring the strange tension. But with every shared look between the boys, every lingering gaze from Sharon, that unease just kept creeping back.

It was like they were waiting for something.

Something I wasn’t in on.

***

I stirred awake to the gentle shake of my shoulder and a soft voice calling my name. “Hey, Kiwi, we’ve landed,” Natasha said, with a small grin, wiping her own hands on her lap. “You’ve got a little drool there.”

Still groggy, I wiped at the side of my mouth, feeling my face flush as I tried to erase the evidence of my nap. I sat up, blinking a few times, trying to get my bearings. When I looked around, I noticed the plane was emptier than before.

“Where is everyone?” I asked, my voice still thick with sleep.

Natasha stretched, her arms raising above her head. “They already headed to the villa. I guess they didn’t want to disturb you.”

I glanced over at Peter, still slouched in his seat, eyes closed, completely knocked out. The soft rise and fall of his chest made him look so peaceful, like the weight of the world wasn’t even a concern. He hadn’t noticed anything either.

Natasha smirked, shrugging. “I felt bad leaving you two alone, so I stayed back.”

I looked between Natasha and Peter, my stomach twisting. “Oh… right,” I muttered, feeling a familiar awkwardness settle over me. My head dropped slightly. It wasn’t the first time I felt like an outsider with these people, but moments like this seemed to make it worse.

Natasha didn’t say anything, but she gave me a look, one that spoke volumes without needing words. Then she moved toward Peter, giving him a nudge. He jolted awake, eyes wide as if he had no idea where he was. “Where is everyone?” he asked, his voice a little too casual.

Natasha repeated the same thing she told me, though this time, there was a teasing edge to her tone. “They left for the villa, but I didn’t want to leave you two sleeping on the plane.”

Peter ran a hand through his messy hair, giving a lazy stretch before standing up. I wondered if I was overthinking things, but Natasha’s earlier look stayed in the back of my mind.

“Alright, let’s catch up,” Peter said, flashing that easygoing smile of his.

As soon as I stepped off the plane, the warm, salty air hit me, carrying the scent of the ocean and sun. Waiting outside was a sleek black car, ready to take us to the villa. Peter led the way, while Natasha shot me an encouraging smile, like she knew exactly what I was thinking but wouldn’t say it out loud.

But once we got in the car, the excitement that had been bubbling inside me during the plane ride started to fizzle. Reality was sinking in, fast. I stared out the window as the scenery blurred by, and that familiar, sinking feeling crept in.

What am I even doing here?

Every part of me was screaming that this was a mistake. I didn’t belong here. These people had made me feel out of place back then—why would now be any different? I had spent so much time trying to distance myself from them, so why was I here now, in the same circle that made me feel like I wasn’t enough?

Was it going to be like this the entire trip? A constant feeling of not fitting in? The idea of spending two months like this, constantly questioning why I came, made my chest tighten.

I imagined stopping the car right there, getting out, and figuring out a way to go home. But how? I came here with them, and I was stuck until they decided to leave. There wasn’t exactly an easy way out.

I sighed, feeling a knot form in my throat as the tears threatened to well up. But I fought them back, forcing myself to take a deep breath. ‘Hold it together,’ I told myself. There was no way I was going to fall apart in front of Peter, Natasha, or anyone else.

I stared out at the horizon, the villa still nowhere in sight, trying to clear the anxious storm swirling inside me. I would just have to figure this out somehow. I always did.

***

When Natasha, Peter, and I finally arrived at the villa, the others had already claimed their rooms. The place was breathtaking—open spaces, stunning ocean views, and a luxurious atmosphere that screamed money. I was almost tempted to be impressed until Sharon appeared, smug as ever, pointing to the far side of the villa.

"Natasha, Peter, your rooms are down the hall," she said with a wave of her hand before turning to me. Without a word or explanation, she just motioned to the other side of the villa, not even bothering to look me in the eye.

I stood there for a second, waiting for...something. Maybe an explanation, a reason for the sudden isolation, but nothing. No one said anything. Natasha gave me a quick, apologetic glance, but even she stayed quiet.

“Guess I'm on my own then.”

I walked in the direction Sharon had pointed, my suitcase bumping against my heels as I made my way down the corridor. The villa was massive, sprawling in all directions, but as I got closer to my room, I noticed how much plainer and utilitarian the space became. The opulence of the rest of the villa seemed to vanish the farther I went.

And then I found it—a small, one-off room that looked like it had been tacked on as an afterthought. My stomach twisted as I stepped inside. It didn’t have the same elegance as the other rooms I’d seen. The furniture was basic, the decor minimal, and there was no sign of the luxury that was displayed on the other side of the villa.

It looked like a remodeled servant’s quarter. I knew the vibe all too well. Being around people like Sharon, I had seen enough servant quarters to know what one looked like, no matter how much they tried to pretty it up.

I stood there for a moment, soaking it all in. There had to be at least one or two other rooms left over in this massive villa, but I wasn’t given one of those. No, this room was chosen specifically for me. The message was loud and clear: *Know your place. *

I set my suitcase down with a sigh, biting back the frustration swelling in my chest. I should have expected this. I knew what I was getting into when I accepted the invite.

I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at my half-unpacked suitcase, trying to figure out a game plan for the next two months. The thought of spending all that time with these people—people who barely knew me, or worse, remembered me only for what I wasn’t—made my stomach twist. I didn’t want to be ignored the entire trip, but becoming a complete recluse would probably just make things worse. What if they just... left me behind?

The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I got. The walls seemed to inch closer, squeezing the air out of the room. My anxiety gnawed at me from the inside. Was this really worth getting away from my parents?

Before I could spiral any further, a light knock on the doorframe jolted me from my thoughts. I turned to see Natasha standing there with a soft smile and a casual “Hey.”

I forced a smile in return. "Hey," I said, trying to sound less flustered than I felt.

Natasha stepped inside, looking around the room before glancing back at me. “Nice room,” she commented.

I glanced at her, trying to figure out if she was joking. Was she being serious? Because this room—my room—was anything but nice. It was clearly the smallest, most tucked-away space in the entire villa. My little corner of the world, far from everyone else.

“Yeah,” I muttered, not sure what else to say.

“They’re about to get ready for lunch in like two minutes,” Natasha added, a little too breezily, as if she hadn’t noticed how awkward this all felt.

"Okay," I said, figuring that was her cue to leave. But instead of leaving, she sat down on the edge of the bed, her gaze still fixed on me, like she was waiting for something.

I shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what to do next. “Was there… something else?” I asked, hesitantly, trying to figure out what this impromptu visit was really about.

Natasha took a deep breath, still staring me down before stating “Sharon invited you to keep Peter busy.”

  I froze for a moment, blinking in disbelief as Natasha’s words settled in. "Wait… what do you mean I was invited to keep Peter busy?"

Natasha’s shifted uncomfortably, avoiding my gaze for a moment before facing me again "Look, it wasn’t meant to be a big deal. Sharon didn’t want things to be awkward, you know? If you didn’t come, there would've been an odd number, and Steve didn’t want to leave Peter behind."

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “So, I was invited to… what? Be Peter’s distraction?”

She shrugged, looking almost apologetic. "Well, it’s not like it’s a bad thing. You two are both nice people, right? It’s not like it was meant to offend you or anything"

I stared at her, still trying to process this. Peter? Then it hit me.

"What about Clementine?" I asked, my curiosity spiking. Last I heard, she and Peter were still together. Sure, she hadn’t been on the plane, but I figured maybe she was meeting up with us later. They were inseparable, after all.

Natasha shrugged again, but there was something uneasy in her eyes this time. "I don’t know. Sharon thinks they broke up, but…"

"But?" I pressed, sensing there was more to it.

She sighed, glancing away. "Clementine kind of just… disappeared. She stopped coming around, and Peter stopped talking about her. It’s weird, though. I don’t think anyone really knows what happened."

The room suddenly felt colder, and the walls seemed to close in again. Clementine disappeared? And now I was supposed to… what? Be Peter's distraction? None of this made sense, and yet, it felt like I was being pulled into something I wasn’t ready for.

I stared at Natasha, my mind spinning as she casually shrugged off the fact that Clementine had just disappeared. Clementine wasn’t the kind of girl to just vanish without a trace. She was... put together. Confident, smart, driven. The kind of girl who had her entire life mapped out from the moment she could walk.

Clementine had been a scholarship kid, just like me, but that’s where our similarities ended. She had that type of grace and poise that people like me only dreamed of. I remember seeing her around campus, always looking so polished, so in control, even though she came from a background as modest as mine. She had Peter wrapped around her finger—he adored her. At least, that’s what I’d always thought. They were practically inseparable.

The last time I heard anything about her, she was starting some fancy job after graduation, and Peter was supposedly gearing up to propose. That’s what people like Clementine did. She climbed the ladder, no matter where she came from, and she always seemed to have everything fall perfectly into place.

I couldn't wrap my head around this. How did she go from being Peter’s "forever" to just... disappearing? And now *I* was here? Supposed to "keep Peter busy" like some sort of replacement? None of this was making any sense.

Natasha’s voice brought me back to the moment. "Yeah, it was weird, right?" she continued, leaning back casually. "Peter just stopped mentioning her, like she never existed. He’s been pretty chill about the whole thing. But Sharon thinks they broke up, and... I don’t know, maybe she’s right. Maybe that’s why you’re here."

I shook my head, trying to process. "Clementine wouldn’t just disappear. She wasn’t like that. She had a plan, she was going to—"

Natasha cut me off. "Well, plans change, right? Maybe she wasn’t as perfect as you think. People always hide stuff. Maybe Peter saw something in her that no one else did."

The idea didn’t sit right with me. Clementine always seemed untouchable, like she had everything figured out. Now, she was just… gone. And here I was, caught in some ridiculous plan to "keep Peter busy."

I started gearing up to confront Sharon, but Natasha quickly stepped in front of me, stopping me before I could make it to the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked, her voice edged with concern.

"I just want to have a little chat with Sharon," I replied, trying to sidestep her. But Natasha moved again, blocking me. She lowered her voice, clearly not wanting to make a scene.

"You're being ridiculous. Just calm down and think about this." Her eyes darted around nervously. "This is supposed to be a vacation. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You could still enjoy yourself, Kiwi."

I paused and turned to face her, frustration bubbling up. "That was always the plan, but why did you have to tell me about Sharon’s little setup with Peter?" I tried to keep my voice steady, but it was sharp.

"I was just giving you a heads up," Natasha said softly, her eyes pleading.

I sighed, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on me. But I couldn’t just let it go. Without saying another word, I turned and marched toward Sharon and Steve’s room, Natasha trailing behind me, still begging me to think it through.

When I reached the door, I didn’t hesitate—I slammed it open. There, on top of Steve, was Sharon, practically tangled up with him. She scrambled off him the second she saw me, her face flushed. Steve, on the other hand, just stayed where he was, smirking like the whole thing was a joke to him.

"What the hell is your problem?" Sharon snapped, straightening out her clothes.

I didn’t flinch. "I want to go home."

I thought about calling her out right then and there, exposing the whole plan about setting me up with Peter. But I couldn’t do that—not without throwing Natasha under the bus. As much as I was irritated with her, I wasn’t ready to burn that bridge. So I kept it simple.

"This whole trip has been uncomfortable for me since I got on the plane. If it’s going to be like this for a whole months I don’t want to stay."

Sharon's expression shifted, her irritation melting into a smirk. "Sure, whatever."

Just as I was about to turn and leave, Steve’s deep voice cut through the air. "No."

I froze, watching as Steve got up from the bed, his frame towering over me. It was then that I realized how much bigger he was compared to me. He took a step closer, his eyes locked on mine.

"Why not?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Steve gave me a cold, calculated smile. "The itinerary is already set, Kiwi. We can’t just change everything around because one person is feeling a little uncomfortable."

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my voice steady. "I’ll pay you back," I offered, even though I knew it was a desperate move.

Steve laughed, a low, mocking sound. "You have over a hundred grand to pay back?"

My stomach dropped as he kept going. "I heard you were working at some factory for, what, twenty bucks an hour? I’m guessing since you suddenly had time for this trip, you lost that gig, huh?"

I could feel my face flushing as I tried to think of a way out. "I don’t need a private jet home," I said quietly. "Just a ride and an economy seat. I’ll figure it out."

Steve shook his head, stepping even closer. "You still owe me for your part of the trip," he said, his voice cold and final.

The reality of the situation hit me like a punch to the gut. I was trapped, and Steve was making damn sure I knew it.

Steve’s eyes softened as he stood in front of me, his posture relaxed, like he was trying to show he wasn’t a threat. He moved to block my way, but not in an intimidating way—it felt more like he was trying to keep me from making a mistake.

“You’re upset,” he said, his voice gentler now, almost coaxing. “I get it, Kiwi, I really do. But leaving right now? That’s not what you really want.”

I frowned, crossing my arms, my defenses already up. “I’m uncomfortable, Steve. Why would I stay?”

He sighed softly, brushing a hand through his tousled blonde hair. “Look, I get that things have been a little weird, but think about it. Going back home, what’s waiting for you there? Things weren’t exactly great, were they?”

I blinked, surprised by his words. It was vague, but it still struck a nerve. My chest tightened at the reminder of how suffocating life at home had been.

Steve stepped closer, but there was no malice in his movements. If anything, his presence felt like it was wrapping around me, enveloping me in something familiar yet foreign.

“Why rush back to all that?” he asked, his voice low, almost tender. “You’ve got a chance here to take a break, to really breathe.”

I swallowed hard, trying to maintain my composure. He wasn’t exactly wrong. I hadn’t been thrilled about the idea of going back to my parents’ house—being treated like I’d failed, like I was just in the way.

“That’s not the point,” I muttered, my voice not as strong as I wanted it to be. “I didn’t come here to feel like an outsider.”

Steve’s expression shifted, softening even more. He moved closer, but not threateningly—just enough to let me know he was serious. “You don’t have to. No one here is against you, Kiwi. You’ve got space here to be free, to enjoy yourself. You’re not stuck.”

His words, smooth and almost too perfect, started to chip away at my defenses. He wasn’t wrong. There was a kind of freedom here that I didn’t have back home. No hovering parents, no endless job hunt. Just sun, sand, and a chance to let go of the chaos.

“I just want you to give it a shot,” Steve continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “If, after a week, you still feel like this… I’ll make sure you get home. Personally. But for now, just relax. Let yourself enjoy it.”

I hesitated, my mind a tug-of-war between the stress and frustration that had been building and the calm that Steve was offering. He seemed so reasonable, so understanding. Was I just being paranoid? Maybe I needed to take a step back and see if things improved.

“Alright,” I said finally, my voice soft. “I’ll stay. But just for a week.”

A slow smile spread across Steve’s face, his satisfaction clear, though he tried to hide it behind his cool demeanor. “Good. I knew you’d see things my way.”

He stepped back, giving me space, and for a moment, I felt the weight lift just a little. Natasha, who had been quietly watching, caught my eye, but her expression was hard to read. Maybe I wasn’t seeing the full picture. Or maybe I was just overthinking everything.

Am I making the right call? ***

Steve moved me out of the servant’s quarters and into a small, luxury room. It wasn’t anywhere near the others, but it was closer to the pool in the back, so I figured I could make do. At least it didn’t feel like a forgotten corner of the house.

As I unpacked, Natasha stayed with me, folding clothes and organizing things like she was trying to smooth over the mess from earlier.

“I’m sorry,” she said suddenly, breaking the quiet. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, not entirely sure if I believed her or if she was just trying to stay on good terms. The side-eye I gave her must’ve said enough because she added, “Seriously, Kiwi. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal.”

I sighed, my shoulders relaxing a little. “It’s fine,” I muttered. "Just... don’t spring shit like that on me again."

Natasha nodded, her expression softening. “I promise. I just want you to enjoy the trip. We all do.”

Enjoy the trip. Right. That’s what I kept telling myself. I needed to enjoy myself, no matter what. To hell with everyone else. To hell with Sharon’s power plays and the thinly veiled insults. To hell with my parents, and their endless nagging about how I should’ve been more like Sharon. To hell with all of it.

I glanced around my new room, taking in the sleek design, the comfortable bed, and the view of the pool. This wasn’t so bad. Maybe I could actually breathe for a while. Just focus on enjoying the sun, the beach, the space.

Yeah. Fuck everyone. I was going to make this trip mine.

[penofwildfire]

Controversial take perhaps but the idea that shipping two characters who have a canonically unhealthy platonic relationship somehow makes that unhealthiness worse feels. Idk, amatonormative? Like, what's so special about romantic relationships that makes abuse worse than it would be in a platonic relationship? Why is "these two characters are mean to eachother and/or have an unbalanced power dynamic but consider themselves friends" an acceptable interpretation but "these two characters are mean to eachother and/or have an unbalanced power dynamic but consider themselves lovers" isn't? And you might jump to "oh well in the second scenario you're romanticizing abuse by shipping them" but am I really? And do you really think it's impossible to romanticize abuse in a platonic context? I've been in zero abusive relationships but I've had SEVERAL abusive friendships, just saying.

(obligatory "this post is solely referring to relationships between age-appropriate consenting partners" disclaimer)