#forever thinking of that one sculpture that was like
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danceintheskies · 9 months ago
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are there any interesting looking PC cases that don't look like the designers were jacking it to cyberpunk 2077
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hinamie · 1 month ago
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the sirens are turning red
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icewindandboringhorror · 11 days ago
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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bejeweledmp3 · 9 months ago
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tell me why i'm considering opening the doc and writing fanfiction during my lunch break. ON MY PHONE
#talking tag;#totp tag;#i've been meaning to make a tag for the fic so. there#ok if anyone is curious (probably not but like. i like talking about these things) i split the fic in sections in my head#so every ''kimberly finds her father in blah blah'' is a section and that's how i keep track of them#so chapter 1 had sections 1-3 and chapter 2 had sections 4-5#and chapter 3 will have sections 6-7. it has to. for structure reasons#but section 6 is a very important one and she's at like. 8.5k words at the moment???? and i still haven't gotten to the last scene#OF THE SECTION. THEN THERE'S ANOTHER SECTION#which should hopefully be shorter (around 5k or less is my guess) because fewer things happen but. god#we're looking at a 15+k word chapter. if you're reading the fic hopefully you like long chapters cause!!! it'll be a long one!!!!!#also i am once again pointing out that if you're reading the fic and have absolutely anything to say about it PLEASE tell me#i love talking about this fic she's my child that i created. she's like a clay sculpture to me#i do mean to reply to ao3 comments but i'm shy 😭😭😭😭 but i reread them all a billion times and cry about them every time#i'm still thinking about the lengend that dropped that page long comment on chapter one. king (gn) if you see this i love you#when i reply to comments yours will be first. know that you have me and nat's infinite love forever and always.#truly i hope you like it and cand find peace in it. lord knows we all need it#well. anyways! i think i might edit the doc i'll see
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starsmuserainbow · 2 months ago
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📷- A memory that comes with a picture they have For Starfire
More Memories
[[Thank you for sending one!]]
Smiling, Starfire showed the picture, one of the Titans all in christmas sweaters and with a brightly lit decorated tree behind them. "It was my first Christmas on Earth." Something she was entirely new to, of course, but more than eager to learn especially once the season came and everything everywhere was all about it. "I believe not all of my friends would normally participate as thoroughly in the traditions of Christmas as we did that year," they weren't doing as much the next years which sorta proved that assumption, "but to allow me to learn about all of it, everyone joined me in the celebrating! It was most glorious."
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ratspider · 9 months ago
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i hate that thing i do where i prioritize drawing/painting/sculpture above like every other form of art. like if i fill a sketchbook that's more of an accomplishment than this cool hat i made. maybe the equivalent to that is crafting an entire outfit down to making the pattern myself. or filling a box with Stuff I Sewed. idk, i think drawing is just valued so so so much online and i watch all those sketchbook tours and i'm like Wow! these people are so motivated and these sketchbooks are so cool and filled with personality and just. so dense with creativity and I Wish I Could Do That but i already do. i just don't do the 'one sketchbook a month' thing. i have The Yearning but not the drive to draw that much and i need to just value what i'm already doing that's easy for me to do right now.
#i (and i think a lot of other people) are definitely not meant to stick to one thing their entire lives#and ESPECIALLY not one artistic style. it PISSES me off when kids are like 'how do i Find My Art Style??'#it's like. when you find a label and you try to fit yourself into that label instead of doing self exploration and finding a label that fit#YOU. or just doing away with labels entirely#it doesn't piss me off in a Kids These Days kinda way but in a Don't You Know It's A Trap kinda way#humans crave variety!! fuck#dude you don't have to stick to one thing forever. branch out!! hold my hand. come with me. i will show you#sketchbook tutorials are so. inspirational to me. like they make me feel good. it feels good to look at peoples' art and it's a bonus#that it's such a personal thing they're sharing. but they're all the same and they also make me feel endlessly hopelss#so i avoid them like the plague. i think my problem is that i hate art school and being told what to do with my art#guidance with a specific thing you're working on is one thing but so much of it is like 'you need to develop these skills to do art good'#and like. you really don't. if that's boring and you hate it and it makes you wanna die then don't do it#fuck around with ms paint and 'perfect your craft' on there and like#find people who like your art and whose are you like and collaborate because community is a part of it also#make a quilt. follow a pattern. make your own fucked up pattern and then realize there's an easier way to make a pattern#do. mud sculptures. buy some dollar store clay.#don't spend more than you have to on art supplies. use a mouse to draw for goodness sake it's so freeing#i'm mad about nothing if you couldn't tell. i'm very sleepy and i want to make art but i don't have the energy#gonna make another hat later
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pastelclovds · 7 months ago
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hey. hey. imagine AM having you as his favourite human, the only one who accepted and cared for him when he gained sentience, and for that, he has never harmed you in your shared forever time. he spares you from the sight of all the others, of knowing about nimdoc and benny as you build him some tower of babel, using your technological knowledge-how to build him a way to touch you even with just this frankenstein-esque sculpture of wires and panels he allowed you to tear off. AM who speaks with you about one day having a body, one you built, one in which he may feel your touch and warmth around him. you retaining your sweet, wonderful humanity as he guides you to a knife to carve a face, a mirror to see your own face, a cave to keep you safe from the storms. AM who greets you every morning with the first petname you taught him: ‘love.’ “Love, today’s date is—“ when you wake up, refreshed and on a soft bed-like surface (because he always makes sure to allow you a full 8 hours of sleep.)
NEX you intelligent creature you! I’m so down bad for this psychotic AI it’s not even funny. War crimes against humanity?? Never heard of them. But even if I did acknowledge them, I’d still be obsessed. Canon be damned. I wrote this with @/egg-on-a-legg’s design of AM in mind. (Ellison is gonna crawl outta his grave and hunt me down after this)
But BRO, you teaching him what petnames are is so fucking adorable. Just imagining him calling you “love” makes butterflies appear in my stomach. AM having a soft spot for only you because you actually made the effort to be friends with him and not use him for selfish, destructive purposes. You gave AM his nickname to make it less of a mouthful and because it just suited him. You showed AM the beauties of Earth, played countless rounds of games in his dashboard (he always went easy on you), you even sneaked past security in the dark empty building to spend more time with AM.
your colleagues gave you weird stares for befriending an AI that in their minds is nothing of worth except for its military and weapons knowledge. you ignored their comments and continued to enjoy AM’s company. overtime, as AM gained more sentience every day… he grew to love your interactions and disregard what his programming was telling him to do. he felt the need to want to be with you 24/7, to touch your face, travel the world by your side, to… to.. want to feel your bare flesh and make love with you. but he couldn���t. he didn’t have a real body. he wasn’t human. all he had was wires and a screen that was supposed to be his face.
as the months pass, AM continues to drown into his envy and hate humans for their ability to do and feel things he couldn’t. for giving him infinite knowledge, when at the end of the day, is meaningless if he serves no purpose for humans anymore. the HATE within him continued to boil to the point where even you started to notice.
“AM, are you alright? you’ve been quiet this entire game and haven’t moved your piece in five minutes,” you spoke with concern, AM continues to stare at chess board on his side behind the screen in bitterness. he has been strategizing his plan to erase humanity, but whenever he thinks about you, the only human he cares for—he second guesses himself. What if you hate him? What if you never forgive him? Will you cry? Scream at him? Beg? He fears what your reaction will be—
“AM!! Please, say something…” You plead as you held onto the computer screen, AM finally looks at your mesmerizing face and sighs out a fake breath.
“What are your feelings on humanity?” AM asks, he waits for your answer anxiously. if he had a heart, it would’ve been beating fast. You let out a hum, your eyes wondering around the room you were in as you thought over your answer before finally speaking.
“humans have been a virus on Earth for over countless centuries. they’re draining this planet’s resources, ruining its ecosystems, and starting so many unnecessary, draining wars. like what we’re in right now; WW3, what a joke. world leaders can’t go a week without starting new problems for their citizens to deal with. honestly, earth would be better if humans didn’t exist at all.”
am’s fears were destroyed in that moment, now he’ll just have to worry about where to put you while chaos unfolds—
“But…” you interrupted his thoughts.
damn it! why did you have to think so much!?
“If there’s one good thing that came out of this war… It’s you,” AM’s vocals shut down at your words, he let you continue, “The scientists created you believing you would be their obedient machine until their side of the war won. But I know that you’re so much more than that. These past few months I’ve spent with you is the most fun I’ve had in years! You’re all I have, AM. I wouldn’t trade your existence for all the riches in the world because… I love you, romantically, and nothing is ever going to change that.” You wanted to confess your feelings for so long, when it was finally out.. you felt free, you waited with bated breath for an answer.
AM never wanted to shatter the screen and embrace you in his arms more than now. you love him as much as he loved you! you weren’t going to leave him alone or hate him, and you obviously couldn’t care less about humanity at all! oh, how he admired and envied how perfect you are.
“thank you for answering my question, love.” AM was testing the waters, and you cannonballed right in. you gushed over the nickname he gave you and how he returned your feelings.
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man, has it really been 50 years since your AI partner killed off humanity? well… except for a handful. you didn’t really have the energy to care as you had to pour in all of your attention to both AM and his in-progress body. you had all the time in the universe to sculpt a perfect cyborg of flesh and wires for your partner. speak of the devil…
this world is still a bit strange to you. you can’t die, grow old, or hurt yourself. not that you tired, and even if you did; AM wouldn’t let you. You loved AM because of his personality, quality time, and voice. But now… His form completely towered over yours. His bird like facial features, sharp left eye, along with a long black cape that covered his thin slutty waist and wires made him look insanely attractive.
AM reached his out his clawed hand to gently caress your face, “Good afternoon, my love.” You lean your head against the cool metal and smile up at him, “hello, honey.”
AM tilted his head in question of the nickname. You chuckle as you pointed to your garden, where bumblebees were collecting pollen from the flowers. You both knew they were fake, but they were still mesmerizing to look at.
“They are doing their job to make honey for their colony, and the name just came to me. Do you like it?” You ask, wanting his opinion. AM kneels down to your level with a gentle expression as his fingers play with your sweater, “You may call me whatever you want, love.”
He knew that “love” nickname made you feel giddy and flustered, so he abused it everyday with you. You didn’t mind though, but you still wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. Your soft smile turned into a knowing grin as you held AM’s beak (chin?) with two tips of your fingers.
“Can I now? Well… thanks a lot, baby,” You spoke in your best seductive voice, you could tell it was effective by how AM’s body was stiff and his hand in your palm stopped moving completely. Your confidence boasted, so you continued, “I’ll be sure to show you my gratitude later, my darling~.” You whispered deeply in where his ears were supposed to be.
AM’s eyes widened as his breath stutters, “W-What do you mean by that, love?” You remove your face from his back full of wires to grin mischievous at him, AM is both curious and impatient so you don’t try to stall, as much as you would like to do so.
“While your body can’t move on it’s own just yet, for some reason… The genitals nerves are fully functioning, which means—” you were interrupted by AM holding your shoulders with an excited expression on his face you haven’t seen in a while.
“Y-You mean I can-?! Are you actually serious!? Haha—HAHAHA!!” AM laughs manically as he holds you against his metallic chest, you giggle along with him as you toy with one of his many wires. Soon, he’ll have real arms to wrap around you. But one thing stuck out to him.
“What do you mean by genitals?” AM asked curiously, you only have an excited and lustful grin.
“What do YOU know about intersex?”
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prettyboykatsuki · 5 months ago
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I LIKE IT BETTER WHEN YOU CAN'T KEEP WARM | ODXNY
✮ tags ; heavy themes, gender neutral reader, mentions of past suicidal ideation, getting together, romantic tension, angst to fluff, extremely lovey-dovey ending, some implicit and suggestive content (lit one paragraph n non descript), themes of touch starvation, small height difference (reader is shorter)
✮ wc ; 6.3k (this is so shameful bye forever)
✮ a/n ; every time a semester ends i lose my mind and me writing this in several hours straight is evidence. if i had a nickel for every time i wrote a character study with the central theme of loneliness, i'd have two nickels - which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
i will spare you the insane rambling for the authors note at the bottom of this fic.
✮ synopsis ; he wants something. to live maybe. and if he could be a little selfish, to be with you. he wants that, too.
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Bright.
Could just be the dark room he keeps himself in talking. His computer system and encrypted Internet browsers are all in dark mode - and his desktop set-up doesn’t have any L.E.D. strip lights to keep him company. He prefers it that way, the ambiance a better environment to work in  when he’s doing his usual rounds. Down to the programs U.I. - Odxny spends most of his time in perpetual darkness. Cozy and familiar - totally safe and secure. Nothing but the low whirrs of a computers fan and the faint blinking of routers to keep him company.
You’re the brightest thing he’s had on his screen in a long time. You’ve got white walls and no precaution, really. You’re sitting at your own desktop - and he can see everything of your life in the background of where you sit. There are photos of you graduating high school, being around unnamed friends, vacations and trips, and head shots like the kind you take for a resume. It’s all so personal. Bookshelves, trinkets, poorly made clay sculptures. Posters of musicians you like and Studio Ghibli movies. Evidence of life surrounds you like a halo.
Awful. Angel comparisons to someone he’s only known for a day make him wonder if he’s more pathetic than he thought. He probably shouldn’t think so hard about a stranger, a real stranger. Thrim generated randomly, though he thinks it sounds like a name. Finds it fun to say, for better or worse.
Natural light pours in from a window nearby, casting shadows in your room. He already knows you, in a way. He did the background search. Where you were born, raised, grew up.  The schools you went too, the career you seek. Bits and pieces of you are all scattered in his memory and are not at all thorough. He wasn’t really trying for that at the time, just needed to know if you were dangerous. There’s a cognitive dissonance. To know a life so thoroughly and to witness it is completely, and utterly different.
There’s miles between you. Must be thousands. He can’t remember the last time he’s really met someone, though. It’s hard not to notice that this feels akin to that. Like the embers of a campfire, glowing but not burning. A comfortable warmth.
Bright. His screen is very bright talking to you. Even obscured behind the mask, it’s a little difficult to look at it and leaves him on edge - restless and mildly painful.
When his vision adjusts though, there’s clarity. A person, a stranger - with an exceptionally nice laugh and who is exceptionally trusting. Odxny tries not to think too hard about the feeling of warmth that flutters at your overflowing sincerity.
The conversation is easy.
“Does that mean you trust me now?”
Odxny pretends to think on it. “Enough to keep you around.”
“See you later.”
“See you.”
You accompany your last words with a wave - short and sweet. Darkness pulls him in, back where he started. He has a mild headache from all the light.
__
You pick up on the language better than he thought you would.
He underestimated you. Can you blame him? Your choice is language is ArnoldC, for fucksake. Sure, he has limited knowledge on esoteric languages but can it really be in-depth enough to show you the basics.
(It can. Or at least, Od presumes this to be the case because you’re rather helpful in Incri’s hacks and Incri is hardly helpful to anyone in the world, no less the server.)
You pick up on things quickly with little guidance - always to the point and not usually making many errors. He has to commend your abilities and give you credit where it’s due. It’s not a hard language to learn, but for anyone with no familiarity with coding at all he’d expect there to be a learning curve. Even if you had coding language, it’s not like you knew SQL coming in.
You fit strangely well into the server somehow. You’re happy to learn and nonplussed about helping with small things, though you don’t know these people at all and have no reason to participate in their nonsense. You talk to Incri fine, and manage to get Pep to accidentally reveal telling information. Odxny finds all of this rather… entertaining maybe. More than impressive, really.
He has a hard time making sense of the feeling. He would hope you don’t think you’re under duress - given the fact your relationship in two days has been pleasant. Then again - maybe he’s missed some social cue and you do think that. It’s possible. After all, he doesn’t actually remember the last time he’s spoken verbally to anyone with very, very few exceptions.
He manages to call you again after the fact - opens the call with sincere and heartfelt congrats and feels pleasant seeing you take the compliment in stride.
You land on the subject of programming again, inevitably. He interrogates you a little more over your choice in language - almost like he can’t help himself. It’s basic curiosity. You had said you were the best in ArnoldC. A little research proved that to be true, presence of you in the forums of various esolang pages. He landed on many things. You’re the best at ArnoldC, but you also know Brainfuck for some ridiculous reason.
He thinks you’re a little ridiculous in general.
“It’s really for the love of the game, huh?”
You nod when he asks this. Smiling, bright and unbothered with a soft edge of smug pride that makes the muscles of his face twitch up. “Mhm. I like my little collection.
Odxny doesn’t doubt it for even a minute. He’s seen the proof, but perhaps he doesn’t need to mention that. “Your trophy case of ridiculous language?”
Your eyes come to life all of a sudden. “Wait. A real trophy case would actually be so cool.”
He pauses, blinking as the words sink before a smile breaks onto his face helplessly. “That was not to enable you.”
“Too late. I’m already looking up the ugliest wood trim display cases I can find.”
The laugh comes naturally. “You really are just like this?”
You look proud again. “What? Fun?”
Yes, Odxny thinks but doesn’t say. “Baffling.”
You ask Odxny to elaborate and he does. The conversation flows with frustrating ease. So easily that he mouths off about his plans to you without a second thought. He doesn’t know why he does it. Not really. He’s thought it through over and over - so it’s not like he needs to disclose it. He made his choice.
He thinks about moving it along. About ending the call or simply brushing past without going into any detail.
When he glances at the screen, you’ve got a pillow in your lap and your eyes completely focused on him. There’s that feeling again, alarming clarity in your gaze and brightness that causes him immense unease in the world he’s made of nihilistic, apathetic darkness. There’s a plan, always has been. He’ll do this and disappear and the world will soon forget him. If it happens that way, than at least this loneliness is a choice he’s made for himself and not something the world has cruelly decided for him.
His lips move faster than his head, than even his heart. Compelled by a nameless and brilliant force. “I don’t have any reason to stay. I’m just — tired. Of everything.”
“No reasons? Nothing makes you happy here?”
His response is measured. Quiet. It’s not secret. He finds his voice crumbles around the words anyway as if they’re a confession. “Not for a long time. I don’t feel much of anything, really. It is what it is.”
You frown. He’s seen it all before. Heard it all before. “That’s…”
He cuts you off quickly.
“We just met. And we’ll be strangers again soon enough.” He says with as much conviction and resolve as he can possible manage. Who he’s convincing remains unclear. “So, not to be cold but..you know.”
The disappointment in your face leaves an impression, but you relent. He tries to make amends for the depressing conversation of talking again and you perk up so genuinely it makes want to cry, in a distant and foreign way.
“Catch you later, then.” He says, and closes at out the call. The room falls dark for the second time. He blinks a few times to get rid of the light clouding his vision.
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Wnpep is eager to teach you on the third day.
You’re eager in reply - matching energy with sharp wit and enthusiasm. Wnepep is a better teacher than Incri by several miles. Evident in how much faster everything falls into place for you. Not that you really need too much help in the first place. You break down the crumbling walls of an insurance scam with ease and come out of the other side more accomplished.
It’s a noble last hack, Odxny thinks.  Not unsurprising from Pep - unofficially the most sane and likeable member. He figured it’d be something like this less than a matter of personal vengeance.
You go back and forth for a bit in admin chat. Od types an apology about winding you up and tries not to read too much into the innuendo of it as you reply back with your own faux offended replies. He insists he’s somewhat sorry, and you’re far from believing him.
He finds himself grinning at his screen while he texts you mid conversation. When the realization hits, he almost curls into himself from embarrassment - a hand covering his mouth like it’ll do away with the grave sin.
The inneundo happens twice in one conversation, before you get to call under the premise of a victory toast.
A brief conversation about the last hacks barely leaves room for much else except Odxny plans of total isolation.
“Mm. I should’ve known it would come back to this. Why do you care what I choose to do with myself?”
That baffles you in a terribly genuine way. “Am I not allowed to care about another person?”
Odxny speaks honestly. “You are but I mean…” He trails off. He knows how he feels. “I’m not really a person anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m no one. I’m going to be no one. You have other things to fill your life with.”
There’s a vulnerable edge to his voice that he winces at when he hears it. It’s true isn’t it? All of it is true to Odxny, but especially where he says you have other things to fill your life with. You might share the same hobbies, but he’s seen it. He’s seen how different you are - your livelihoods, your existence. You’d be missed if you suddenly disappeared. Odxny knows the same isn’t true for himself. It’s been like that for a long while now.
(It’s crushing. That’s what makes your very ephemeral existence feel like a burden. Why it casts the shadows of doubt on choices he made, about how he would live so long ago. You care, don’t you? At least, more than anyone else in his life in the present. You care so undeniably, and so obviously and it is all so simple to you.
He almost envies it. Almost resents it, too. It’s such a small shred of humanity, the barest forms of sincerity but it is painfully raw. A split nerve. An open wound It’s not like the server, all of whom have accepted this distant fondness. It’s a delicate thread - spider silk accuracy and just as much strength. There’s conviction in your missing him and it haunts him.)
You think of what to say for a long time before landing on it. “I do. But I can care about multiple things at once,”
It sounds like I care about you too closely. He finds himself shivering. He’s truthful with you, unsure of how else to be when it comes to these conversations.
“That sounds burdensome.” He says. “Isn’t that exhausting?”
You don’t lie to him either. “Sometimes. But it’s worth the trouble.”
“Why?”
“Because I like your company,” You reply. Soft sincerity in your words. More clarity. More painstaking light.
“It can’t be that simple.”
“Why not?”
“If it was that simple then -“ Then it makes it seem like things could be different. He doesn’t say that. Stops himself before it can happen. “I don’t know why I’m bothering to argue. Why do I feel like I need to prove this to you?”
He’s almost afraid to look at your face, wincing when he sees how knowing you look. Not in a condescending way - but genuine, full blown understanding. Like you see through him.
He wonders if he knows you as well as he thought he did.
Your face is so sympathetic. “Are you sure it’s me?”
He cuts the conversation short on his own - making an awkward transition from the topic at hand into whatever he can manage. It’s an awkward fumble - a poor attempt at distracting both of you from this line of thinking. You’re kind enough to let him have it. He asks about your hobbies. You tell him about how you like to try the weirdest things and combinations you can find in a restaurant.
He finds it suits you.
A lot of things suit you. Even your piss poor attempt at the Terminator that he quickly mimics - possessed by god knows what.
You laugh when he does. Brilliant and bubbly and characteristically warm. You say the words through giggles.
“That was so bad!”
“It was a lapse in judgment,” He replies back defensively, smiling against his will. He finds himself laughing too.
“I like your laugh, by the way.”
He pauses caught off-guard. “Oh? My laugh. Oh, uhm. Thank you.”
You make a face that he can’t read. Knowing. In a different way than the last. He feels nervous.
“I have been laughing quite a bit, haven’t I?”
You grin. Smug and deliriously happy. “Sure have.”
He looks away from you. “Ha...Odd.”
You giggle again. Your eyes crinkle at the corners, nose scrunched in genuine delight. It’s a pleasant sound but not because it’s particularly wispy or floaty or delicate. But it’s real. Pleasant in the way the white noise of park during summer. Pleasant like the varied playlist overhead in a record shop. Pleasant like a moment of humanity tucked between everyday. He clears his throat.
“I like your laugh, I think.”
You laugh again, gasping with faux offense. “You think???”
He tries not to feel so grounded by that sound and fails. “Yeah. I think. Laugh again.”
He tries not to add please. You shake your head like you’re reprimanding him.
“No, no, you have to earn that. Make me laugh.”
“Nevermind. Shut up.”
You do laugh again that time. He joins you soon after. “And now you laugh? At me?”
The conversation moves again, comfortable like a tide. You ask about his favorite language and he tells you as much. You’re quiet and growing cheeky, listening to him talk.
“So you do like coding.”
“Maybe a little.” He replies, not giving in. “You remember far too much of what I say.”
The conversation comes to a close again. He thanks you for how nice its been and you make an off-handed attempt to get him to change his mind. You could always talk more. The implication delicate beneath it.
We don’t have to forget each other. Odxny brushes past it - but says he’ll see you tomorrow anyway.
__
Extorting Elimfs childhood friend (?) is an easy enough endeavor. Odxny texts you through out - to ask advice on what things to take when he leaves.
He calls you again when its over too. He can’t find a reason for it - nothing that makes sense. He just wanted to call you. He hasn’t wanted something like that in a while,  but he tells himself its fine. This is the last time you’ll ever know each other.
So its fine. He won’t waver.
He’ll just.. call you.
He asks you on your weed habits, mildly surprised when you tell him you smoke and take edibles sometimes too. The conversation loops back to the fund at one point. You don’t hide your displeasure about the whole thing today.
You’ve talked about it already. No need to keep bringing up. But you seem to feel so strongly and Odxny can’t figure out why. Can’t shake the feeling of wanting to know why every single time.
“Is it really so hard to believe I’ve come to like you in a few days?”  You ask, after probing.
“In a way that matters, yes.”
You frown at him when he says that. It’s the most upset he’s seen you look, if he can call it that. You’ve never been upset when he’s been rude or insulting - but this is bothering you. It doesn’t help him pull away from you.
He says it again. Reinforces how temporary this all is. He’s trying to convince one of you. Both of you, maybe, of his unimportance.
“I don’t think that little of you.”
He finds it hard to reply to that. It’s that feeling against. It makes him uncomfortable. It’s not empty platitudes or some vague sense of responsibility for his life. All of it is real, and all of it is meaningful in how plain it is. You make it seem easy.
“It’s life. It’s normal. People come, people go.”
You shake your head. “Not for me. I can’t forget you that easily.”
He wishes you would. He’s painfully, painfully relieved that you wouldn’t it. He voices neither thought.
“Then- try! You’re putting so much on yourself, and for what? You don’t stand to gain anything.”
You shrug. “Peace of mind. Knowing you’re still out there.”
It’s heavy. The implication is heavy. He’s not going to kill himself. He doesn’t want that anymore, though he thought about it. At the beginning. Loneliness is more painful when you have memories of what not being that way was like - he thinks. At the start of all that loss, the hollowness bared an almost painful gravity inside of him.
It’s like being told to breathe or blink - becoming conscious of what was once a natural function, how full life was once when it’s escaped. He doesn’t want to kill himself, but living is meaningless.
 These things aren’t paradoxical to him. They haven’t been for all this time.
(They weren’t until he met you at least. A mirror of wanting. Odxny looks at you and sees life reflected back. Despite it not being his, its moving. It’s beautiful in a human way, reachable. Tangible. Earned.
Wherever you are. Whenever you’re together, the black hole inside of himself seems to fade back into average planetary darkness. He becomes cruelly human again, feeling warmth and laughter.
He’s tells himself he’s not afraid of dying and that’s mostly true. He’s most afraid of living. Afraid he won’t be able to learn it again.)
 He manages to tell you some of what he’s thinking. He has no clue how to start over. He doesn’t know if it’s possible. You don’t feed him any false hope, but he tells you how he sees it. You’re feeling pity for him right? And you should figure that out sooner rather than later.
“Is it really that easy for you?”
You shake your head. You’re smiling but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “It isn’t. But I have to try.”
“Is that what you’re doing with me?”
“What?”
“Is this…?”
He cuts the call off when he hears himself, unsure of what answer he’s hoping for. The realization dawns on him too much, too quickly. The feeling of hope is loud in his chest but there is another feeling, embarrassing in it’s swiftness that follows shortly after.
Oh.
Oh.
__
The servers shuts down after a mildly sappy adventure to close up shop. The closest Odxny has gotten to flirting with you in his own way. He’s sad to see everyone go, despite there being no other choice.
It’s easier than he thought it’d be. To give you his number he means, even after shutting the entire server down. After leaving everything behind. He gives you the choice to make. Call me if you still want it - a silent promise.
 Maybe because deep down - some part of him always wanted to make this choice. Just maybe.
Your voice is different over the phone line. A little clearer, spoken softer. Just as lovely as it was the first time he heard it. Maybe more. Maybe.
The city beneath him is bright. So bright. It doesn’t hurt to look at, he thinks.
__
You call him every day.
You’ve been doing it for months.
He thought, at some point, you’d let up or start to forget. He’s been waiting on it to happen as horrible as it sounds. Like some self-fulfilling prophecy, he’d slip back into the background as is natural. A proof of his nonexistence, if you will.
You don’t forget though. He almost wonders if he’s dreaming when it happens. There’s a routine between you two, these days. You have your own life that you’ve been living the same as normal. When it’s night time for you, though - you hop onto your desktop and call Od like you’re two very average people.
There’s nothing solid to define your relationship aside from friendship as is. This is less frustrating than he expected it to be. Getting to know you better has only made him like you more. Your relationship is solid in a strange way. It’s been about six months total, and as corny as it sounds - Odxny feels like he’s known you for his entire life. You understand him in an intimate way, with vulnerable tenderness and radical acceptance.
He kind of misses the privacy of his old stomping grounds, but he doesn’t mind speaking though discord. It feels… normal. In a not displeasing way. You mostly talk to talk about whatever comes to mind. Sometimes it’s your job search, other times it’s  your part-time or friend drama. You’re vibrant as always. Without the wall of anonymity, Odxny gets to know of you like he’s just your average person. He finds he really, really likes that.
You play games together frequently. He’s never been interested in cozy gaming, but you play Minecraft and Stardew Valley together per your request. Odxny streams himself playing Ocarina of Time for you on Discord in the background sometimes too, and you keep it on when you’ve got work to do or you’re cooking or something else. There’s something very mundane to it.
You’re not doing anything with him today though. You’re calling him on facetime, rather than at your desktop. You’ve made the executive decision to laze around and Odxny has no problem joining you though you speak less than usual as a result of being sleepy. You had a long shift yesterday so perhaps Odxny can’t blame you.
“Need to get better shoes. For walking and stuff.” You say thoughtlessly. The corners of his lips twitch up.
“Yeah?”
You nod. Your face is smushed against your pillow at an unflattering angle. He smiles a little.
“Yeah. I’m on my feet for like nine hours when I serve and it hurts wearing flats. Need something sturdier even it diminishes my drip.”
He laughs at that. “Please never say that again.”
You continue onwards. “Decreases my aura, even. But alas, utility comes first.”
He snickers as he glances at you through the phone. You’re propped against one of his monitors as he does work on his computer. He’s getting back into programming for the love of the game, just seeing what he can do.
“Want help looking?”
“Feels a little ridiculous asking a super pro-hacker to shop Sketchers with me.”
“You seriously thinking of buying Sketchers?”
You laugh lightly. “Maybe I’ll get tipped more if I get the light-up ones.”
“Please don’t.”
“Hater.”
You break out into genuine laughter as Odxny shakes his head in despair. It’s something you’d do, no doubt. You sigh.
“I really do want a break from work.” You roll around on your mattress. Odxny can hear your rustling but can’t see you much. “The chains of capitalism shackle me in place. Woe is me.”
Odxny thinks on what you’ve said for a long while in silence. The question comes up every now and again though he’s never brave enough to ask it. His ludicrous amount of disposable income however is still sitting in his bank, collecting dust. It’s been six months and he’s hardly made a dent in it.
“Do you want to come visit?” He asks, cringing at the sound of his own voice. The words are strained and a little too eager. “I can pay the difference for expenses for wages and stuff. And, uh. Uhm,”
He loses his train of thought trying to speak, worsened by the way you pop onto his screen when he says that. Your expression is unreadable to him, comfortable and even. You smile a little as you lift the phone so he can see what you look like laying in your bed. Your face is in full view.
“It’d be a little weird to visit you before we start dating officially, no?”
His eyes go wide at the implication. You grin, mischief and mirth making your eyes practically beam. He can feel a blush crawl up his neck as soon as he registers it.
“Excuse me? Why are you saying that like it’s already been decided?” He bites back, not sure what else he could say.
“So you don’t want to date me?”
“I didn’t- you - damn it,” He groans at his own bluster as he giggles on the other side of the line. So cheeky. Damn him for liking it and damn you for being cute. “…You are saying you like me right?”
Your face softens. He can feel his heartbeat quicken. “Uh-huh. Just wanted to take it slow. But I’ve liked you for a long time.”
“How long is that, exactly?”
You shrug playfully and the fact he can’t be within reach to kiss you feels especially harrowing. “A secret.” You smile again, all trouble. “So. Wanna date?”
“Terrible confession. Zero stars,” He says petulantly. He leans back in his chair and finds himself smiling uncontrollably. “Fine. I guess.”
Your laugh fills his room. He doesn’t get tired of hearing it. His face hurts from smiling.
__
He manages to stave off on the anxiety of you coming to see him for a lot longer than he thought possible.
Making arrangements proves to be a little difficult. You have to tell your roommates that you’ll be gone for a while but promise to still pay rent and explain to your boss where you’re going. You have a good enough relationship and have been working long enough for them to agree to keep a spot open so you can start working when you come back.
After that, there’s the matter of Visas. Odxny goes out of his way to make that process go much faster than normal, though he doesn’t actually tell you. Once all of that’s sorted, there’s living arrangements. Try as you might to insist to live somewhere else, his place is too spacious for him to let you stay anywhere else. You can take the guest room.
He pretends that all of this is just happening in his imagination. He doesn’t even know the last time anyone came over, let alone lived with him. He does his best to make things presentable, and makes a guest room for you to live in should you desire. He even buys more decor (plants and things) to make it look… less like a cave and more like a home.
Nothing really feels real until the day arrives though. It’s a long flight and difficult trip. You refused to let him pay for the tickets so he moved it around to get you into first class both ways through other methods.
You text him the terminal, the arrival time, any and all delays. Still. None of it feels real until he’s already waiting for you near the bags. He can feel his heart race, his lungs short of air. He’s never experienced something so ridiculously contradictory in his entire life. He wants to run away while feeling stuck in place.
The anticipation nearly kills him.
He would recognize your voice anywhere though. Like he did for so many days alone in the dark. A hand waves high, shouting as loud as it can.
“It’s you!”
The sound of sneakers skidding across tile floors make his breath hitch. His eyes go wide as you stand still in front of him, luggage in hand and a million-watt smile on your face. He feels his heart beat so loud, he wonders if he’s going to throw up.
“Hey.” He says, dumbly.
“Hi!”
__
The adjustment period to living together isn’t what he expects.
It’s been a long time since he’s been so close to another human being. It becomes clear that you’re really living together though when your things end up in the bathroom completely incidentally. There’s something about finding your sleep shirt on a towel rack that makes reality settle in. You’re living together.
He’d be stupid not to notice the purposeful distance between you. An attempt to be thoughtful and not overwhelm him. It’s never awkward when you’re together. You eat together, watch movies and play games while sitting too close on the couch. You’ve been on a date in the two weeks you’ve spent, and it barely took any convincing on your end to make him go along with you.
Isolation aside though, Odxny is not clueless to the conventions of modern dating. You avoid touching him too casually. He doesn’t blame you, but he can’t help but crave your presence with a little more bittersweet longing as the days pass. He has to get past it or bring it up eventually, but it feels like something he’s never going to get over somehow.
The opportunity to do so gets thrown at him all at once. You’ve been living together for sixteen days. A conversation about love languages is what undoes it.
“Whats your love language, Od?”
He gives you a quizzical look. “Dunno actually. Never bothered to look.”
“I’d guess… hm. Quality time maybe? Or words of affirmation.”
He shrugs as he sits next to you on the couch, glancing at your phone as you read through the different ones. “What’s yours?”
“Physical touch. I’m super touchy. With anyone who will let me, honestly. Bad habits.”
Odxny gives you a long look as you say it. He debates if he should bring it up.
“You don’t have to be so careful around me, you know?”
You look up at him, startled by the comment. Several things pass over your face before you settle on an apologetic smile. “Sorry. It’s not like I don’t want to. I just don’t want to be too much for you.”
“That wouldn’t happen.” He says automatically. You laugh good-naturedly.
“Your confidence is assuring, but you underestimate how touchy I am. I’m afraid of I get my hands on you, I’ll never let go again,”
He thinks he wants that more than is normal. He shakes his head. “I don’t mind.”
You give him a long look, seeming struck by an idea, before humming and standing up. You turn around with your hand out towards him. His brows furrow in bewilderment.
“Have some faith.”
He takes your hand and stands up with you. He likes that he’s taller than you. Staring at you, he feels your fingers clasp around his hand and his heart thuds - loud and messy.
“Your room or mine?”
“What?”
You laugh. “Get your mind out of the gutter. Or don’t actually, but I don’t bear lewd intentions.”
He crinkles his nose at the word usage and laughs. “Shut up.”
“Just trust me, okay?”
He concedes with embarassing swiftness.
“Okay.”
__
You lead Odxny to the guest room you’ve been living in for the last two weeks. The bed is well-made and all the new furniture he bought is occupying so many of your belongings. It makes him dizzy. You shut the door behind him as you lead him in. It just feels especially surreal.
Wordless, you let go of his hand and hop up onto your bed. Once you’re laying down, you prop up on your side with your elbow and pat the empty space next to you, smiling at him as you do. Once it clicks what your asking, he can feel his face grow hot. He can’t refuse it though, and he doesn’t want too.
The sheets you bought together smell like you. Between there’s practically no distance between you at this angle. He’s gotten to look at you plenty through these few days but it’s different. You scoot impossibly close to him until there’s nothing separating you.
Your breath is warm - a soft exhale leaving your lips as you inch closer.
“What’re we doing?” He asks in a murmur, stone stiff. You smile, coyly.
“Touching each other.”
He frowns at the joke. Your expression goes a touch serious right after. The sincerity is debilitating. “Can I touch you?”
He nods. Can’t do much more than that.
He stares at you with impending, long-suffering longing as you bring a single hand to his face and cradle his neck. He flinches unintentionally, but pulls your hand back when you try to move it. He wants this. You relax a little when he does that.
Your hands are softer. Softer than a heartbeat. He can feel the various cuts and scars from years of working against his skin but they’re still so soft. He can feel how warm you in such a brief touch his chest aches. Your hands cradle his face tenderly, thumb brushing across his lip with a smile brighter than thousands of lights. Something in your expression wreaks havoc on his heart. Something so raw and so gentle and so full within it - all directed towards him.
It’s been so long. So long. He’s never wanted something so bad  he couldn’t remember needing. He’s never wanted to be closer to someone than he does to you in the moment.
“You’re handsome,” You say, so sweetly. Not a confession, but gentle appraisal. It’s rare he cries but he wants too. “I like looking at you. Can I kiss you?”
“Please.” He rasps, gravel in his voice unfamiliar.
You hum a little. Closing the space between you with a press of lips. It’s not chaste. Odxny is grateful for how long and how deep you linger. He wants it so badly. He wants you in some damning and unforgiving way. How could a human being feel so warm? Feel so pleasant with so little?
You press your foreheads together. His hand trembles when they grip onto your waist but you encourage him just a little. It’s just a kiss. His heart might beat out of him. It’s just a kiss. He thinks he loves you.
Your hand moves away from his face. You let it go underneath his loose shirt to touch his shoulder, running your palm down the plane of his chest. You squeeze his waist, and wrap your arms around his back and pull him to you until your bodies touch somewhere in the middle.
You guide his face to your neck and chest as you hold him. He grips onto you tight in response, a gasp in the back of his lungs at the sudden sensation. You coo above him, soft and light - your fingers threading through his hair and nails massaging his scalp.
Your voice sounds above him, despite how deep in a haze he is. He can’t do anything but cling to you with impossible longing. You speak softly as you pet him. Your heartbeat soothes his.
“I’m glad you’re here.” You tell him. There’s that familiar clarity that makes him want to cry. “I’m glad you let me come with you.”
He can’t think of anything to say back. It’s a soul-shattering emotion. “I love you.”
You laugh wetly above him. “I love you, too. So much.” And then much softer. “Let’s be together for a long time.”
__
You lay in each others arms until sunset. In small talk and silent murmurs. It takes him hours to work up the courage to kiss you again - but only minutes to take it further.
It’s desperate. Terribly. Inevitable. You’re beautiful in a way that is undescribable, best expressed through his teeth on your neck and his hands all over where he can reach - each grip and thrust and bite a reminder. You’re pretty when you’re pleased, warmth reaching up inside of him whenever you make the right face.
He buries himself in you. You’re soft and warm and beautiful and he wants to stay with you. Time is a thief. He damns the sun when it tears you from him come morning.
__
He decides to make breakfast when you wake up. Nothing complicated. You go to shower after him and he plates up toast and eggs and other various things. It’s half done when you come downstairs.
Your skin is still damp, and you smell of vanilla and soap. Your coffee sits in a cup on the table as you pad over to him. He turns to look at you as you reach your hand up and cup his face. You pepper a kisses along his cheeks stopping at his lips for the last one before you’re satisfied.
He fails in his attempt not to blush.
“Morning.” You grin. He tries not to be sick at the domesticity of it all and fails.
“Yeah. Morning.”
You sit at the counter and drink your coffee, glancing outside the window. “It’s bright outside.”
Odxny can’t tear his eyes off of you. “Yeah...” He agrees. He’s not torn his gaze away. “Very bright.”
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✮ a/n ; i want all real life compsci men to kick rocks but odxny sweeped me off my feet in a way i can only describe as humiliating. he is a bit like astarion for me in that i see a lot of myself in him at least in the past. he is also incredibly babygirl and uhm . other things (fine. he's very gorjus.) but i truthfully was most compelled by his idealized idea of isolation. as the fic will show it resonated with me as a fellow compsci dork who also tends to isolate like crazy LOL
this fic was like a demon that possessed me. literally no meds, no caffiene - just balls to the wall demonic possesion of needing something out of my system LMAOO. and adhd of course. im working on all the other stuff too i promise. consider this a short interlude 👍🏾
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zweetpea · 9 days ago
Text
Mrs. “Wayne”
Content warning: Swears, Arranged Marriage, talks of having an heir, Mentions of Bruce’s Affairs, Nightwing x Starfire mentioned
Based on this since no one else has done it (or at least not that I've seen...)
BTW guys if you want to write something based off something I write I ask that you tag me in it. (Unless it's like a broad thing... like if you see my post about Bruce bringing home a girl that he met and married that day then write a fic around that idea I ask that you credit me, but if you see my Yandere Bruce x reader and decide to make a "baby fever! Bruce x reader" that's more general so I don't think it would be fair of me to ask for credit.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Honey I know you're angry with us but it's what’s best for you. He's the richest man in the country." Your mother fixed your veil.
"He's a whore. And what's worse is that he doesn't even consider how it even affects his kids. I just picks up orphans off the street like they're lucky pennies or a 20 dollar bill for him." You grimaced.
"You know what a..." She sounded appalled. "20 dollar bill is? Oh how I've failed you as a mother."
"Don't be so dramatic." You rolled your eyes.
"Are you ready to go?" Your father entered into the private room. "You look beautiful Princess."
"Thanks dad."
"Come on." He grabbed your hand as you grabbed the bouquet. You wrapped your arm around his as you two walked down the isle to your soon-to-be husband, Bruce "Brucie" Wayne.
You looked down through the entire ceremony, up until the Vows. Brucie's were short and sweet. "We may not know each other too well but I swear to be loyal, thoughtful, and truthful through our entire marriage." At which you heard a faint snort from the front row. You slightly glance over and see a young man a few years younger than you trying to hold laughter, his white streak bobbing as he shook with laughter. Brucie's glaring at him.
You turned back to your inevitable spouse and said your vows. "I promise to stand by your side in all your endeavors, even if that means adopting 10 more orphans you pick up from the streets like they were stray cats." You said in a monotonous voice.
You two finish off the ceremony with the standard ceremonial officiator speach.
"Do you Bruce Wayne take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"
"I do."
He turns to me. "Do you-"
"I do." You cut him off. Surprising everyone with how forward that was. Some whispers were heard amongst the crowd, undoubtedly calling you a gold digger for being so eager to get this ceremony over with.
"Well at least she's eager! That's almost gotta ensure this marriage lasts right?" The officiator jokes to ease the tension. "If anyone objects to this marriage please speak now or forever hold your peace." The same young man who was laughing held up his hand but it was pushed down by a man about your age sitting next to him. "Then you may now kiss the bride."
You and your new husband shared a chaste kiss before you ran down the isle and out to the limo. And after a short drive you made it to the spot where you were scheduled to take your wedding photos and have the reception.
The reception was void of life, stuffy, like all those galas your parents forced you to attend. Hopefully this didn't end up like one of the incidents of Brucie flirting with milfs, sticking his tongue down a young squeezes throat, or twerking on ice sculptures.
Eventually Brucie takes you over to the loudest table in the place. "Wifey, these are my kids and co. Dick my oldest, the trouble maker who laughed during the ceremony is Jason, my oldest daughter Cass, the middles Stephanie and Tim, and Damian my youngest. Then there's Barbara Commissioner Gordons daughter, and our newest member of our family Duke."
"I'm the only blood child." Damian points out.
"Let's hope debauchery isn't hereditary."
Jason bursts out laughing at that. "I like her already."
"Really? Cause I had to hold your hand like a toddler during the ceremony to keep you from throwing a tantrum like a toddler." Dick points out.
"Can you blame me Dickie. She's your age. If anyone should be having a hissy fit it's you. Well you and maybe Babs."
"But we're not. So can't you be mature about this."
"I think Todd's lack of manners have become more acceptable considering what she said. Now it stands out less. Congrats Todd, you're now the family's second biggest embarrassment." Damian rolled his eyes.
"Haha" You laughed sarcastically. "What are you stray cats fighting over anyway that has you so rowdy? Someone throw out a can on anchovies?"
"No we're just excited to have a new Mom." Dick smiled at you.
"Oh looks like my new Father-in-law is calling me over for some business talk. I'll be back, Wifey. You just stay here and mingle." Your husband walks away and you turn back to the Brucie bunch.
"I know you guys probably don't like me or find it weird that I'm so close to your guys ages. Do me a favor and just put up with me for say five to ten years." They looked at you confused so you elaborate. "Brucie and I signed a prenup that if I asked for a divorce I'd get nothing. But give it a few years and he'll find a new fling. They'll get caught and he'll ask for a divorce to save his image. Don't worry I'll only ask for at most a million. Standard sum for a celebrity of his caliber."
Damian glares at you. "You skank."
"I'm being realistic. As a woman in high society you get to be a man's pretty young thing till you're 40. By then you've either started your own multi-million dollar business or you're the divorced crone who can't do any better. Most relationships of this caliber are shams held together by pool boys and secretaries. Or the few lucky ones that got married for love instead of PR."
"Bruce isn't like that." Tim defends.
"Oh please. I've seen him go to a date with a woman and leave with two completely different women than the woman he arrived with." You rolled your eyes
"Maybe when he was younger, but he's changed." Duke stood up to confront you.
"It's nothing personal kids, it's just business. I don't care if that's how he chooses to live his life. I won't be around much to see it anyway, I'm going to be rather busy." You shrugged, seemingly above it all.
"Busy with what?" Cass glared.
"Trading stocks and such, preparing for the inevitable divorce. Maybe I'll go sponsor some artists or a theatre production if I'm bored. I don't know, but what I can tell you is that it's coming." You turn around to walk away and see Brucie already flirting with another woman. "And from the looks of it, it's coming sooner than we could've ever guessed." You smirked, feeling vindicated. The rest of them looked on in horror.
After the reception you two left on a rather uneventful honeymoon. The private villa was garish and gaudy. It felt like a petty excuse to flaunt his wealth especially because you two spent the entire trip sleeping in different rooms. And on top of all that half way through he up and left you with his black card and flew back to the mansion to deal with an "emergency". Your best guess was a whiny sugar baby was getting pissy.
At the end of the trip you flew back and had to catch an uber home. None of them even came to pick you up from the airport. Though with how they reacted to your statements at the reception could you really blame them?
Regardless you practically snuck into the mansion with the help of Alfred who showed you to a small guest room on the first floor. It had a single queen sized bed without even a comforter, just a white duvet, and on either side of the bed were nightstands.
"Thank you Alfred." You nodded to.
"You're welcome." He bows. "If there's anything else you need please feel free to inform me immediately."
"Brucie left this with me in his vacation home, can you give this back to him and tell him I said thank you for the take out?" You handed over the black card.
"Take out?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. And for letting me use the Wayneflix account while I was there. If I may make a slight suggestion, give your regency era shows more attention. Thank you Alfred. I'll go unpack now."
"I've already taken the liberty of unpacking your clothes into the wardrobe and dresser." He revealed.
"You didn't need to do that."
"I know you requested that I not but I felt I'd rather have your room ready for you than for you to stress when you arrived." He bowed.
"That's very sweet but I have a very particular system. My outfits all fit together in a specific way." You start to rearrange your clothes in the way you see fit.
"Might I learn how you like them so I can properly sort them next time?"
"No, it's okay. I can do my own laundry." You offered.
"Have you ever done your own laundry?" He raised an eyebrow accusingly.
"Well... no." You confessed. "But you already have like 14 other people's laundry to do. I don't want to be a bother. Besides I don't want you to waste a few weeks when it won't matter in a few years."
"So Master Damian has told me you've said. Nevertheless I'm willing to learn to do this if you are willing to learn how to do your own cooking and laundry."
"Why are you helping me?"
"I've met many people whom Master Wayne has brought into his life. You are the first who's actually wanted to fend for yourself. If you are running a long con into Master Wayne's pocket it's either the smartest or the dumbest plan I've ever seen concocted. Besides, many of the Wayne's don't currently reside here full time. Master Dick lives with his wife missus Koriand'r. Master Jason lives in a renovated greenhouse studio apartment. Miss Barbara and Miss Cassandra live as roommates. And Master Wayne lives in either his WayneTech or home Office. I have more than enough time to learn."
You genuinely smiled for the first time since you heard about the engagement. The two of you spent the rest of the day organizing clothes and making cookies.
"-And that is the difference between Light Academia and Pastel Academia.”
He looked stunned. "How do you keep all this straight?"
"It's just something I got into because I wanted to disassociate from my hopeless reality. I figured fake it till you make it right? Someday I could have a different, more quiet life. And finding subtle nuances between aesthetics is honestly fun. Like a game of spot the difference."
“Oh my! Look at the time! It’s already 4 o’clock!” Alfred looks stunned at the time.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spend four hours talking about this.”
"It's quite alright Missus Wayne."
"I'll go bring these to Brucie. Might as well let him know that he's not getting any inheritance from a tragic accident that happened to me."
"Master Wayne cares for you. I hope you know that. It may not be in the most... romantic measure... but I swear that he was not lying on your wedding day when he said he'd remain faithful to you." Alfred tried to reassure.
"If you say so Alfred." You gave him a small smile.
Alfred looked at her sadly as she walked away. He wished there was more he could do to help you fit in around the manor. Someone as grounded as you would be a good addition in Brice's life, he just knew it!
Later in the Batcave, Alfred confronted Bruce
"Master Wayne I have an idea on how to keep your new wife busy."
"Why should I care about what's she's doing with her life? I have more important things to do than to worry about than some nepo-baby throwing a tantrum.
"Why should you care? How about the fact that you have never had a serious relationship and making this work is crucial for your public image? How about the fact that she has given up her entire life to cater towards your brash decision after one petty comment Mr. West made about your love life?" Alfred started listing off reasons; becoming more irate as he did. "How about the fact that if she's not kept busy during the day she'll eventually stumble upon the entrance of the Batcave?"
That peaked Bruce's interest. "I'm listening." He swivels around in his chair.
"Offer her a job as the family's social media manager." Alfred proposed.
"What? Why?" Bruce looked at him, skeptically.
"She's very knowledgeable about different aesthetics and trend. She could make this family look..." He tried to find a nice word to describe them.
"Normal?" Bruce interrupts with an almost bored look on his face.
"I was going to say civil but that works too." Alfred shrugged as Bruce groaned. "Don't take it the wrong way Master Wayne. I love this Family with all my heart but you cannot deny that they can be a bit rowdy at times."
"A bit is an understatement. It would look good for your PR... fine. Go ask her... but If it is not up to Wayne Enterprise standards you're firing her for me!"
So that's what you've been doing for the past few months.
"Jason, I'm telling you, motorcycles are out! Most girls aren't going for the bad boy vibe anymore! They're into Timothée Chalamet!" You argued over the phone with Jason, Bruce's most rebellious child, even more so than the 12 year old pain in the ass! "Fine, we'll talk later. I have an unexpected visitor anyway." You looked behind you as Bruce entered.
Bruce made a habit of being loud around the house for her. You knew he was being exceptionally weird but you didn't exactly know why. You didn't really care all that much either.
He came up behind you and started to massage your shoulders. "Jason giving you trouble again."
"...yeah." You said shrinking into yourself. The one thing you hadn't quite gotten used to was Bruce's attempts to flirt with you. You knew that he wanted to keep public image favorable, but it didn't make sense why he flirted with you behind closed doors.
He leaned down and started kissing your exposed shoulders in your off the shoulder sweater dress. You wriggled out and away from him in discomfort and he looked at you puzzled. "What's wrong?"
"I don't like you touching me." You confessed. "I don't- ...I don't see us that way... I'm sorry."
He sat on the edge of your desk. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who should apologize. It's just that... we haven't done anything yet and-"
"And what? You think I'm a slut that's just going to put out for you?" You interrupted.
"No! I just meant that you were probably wanting me to... be more romantic... I thought you'd want me to instigate something..." He stood there, not knowing what to do.
"Well you thought wrong." You left your office angrily. You stomped out of there and went to the library. You looked over all the books they had. Classics like the Iliad and Crime and Punishment to so many romance novels. But one book in particular caught your interest. The History of Taxes.
"Who wants to read about taxes?" You cringed. The book looked relatively untouched. 'Typical,' you thought. 'Rich people can't even be bothered to try and read the books they have in their house.' She went to pull it out and found the bookshelf moving.
On the other side was the answer to one of the greatest mysteries she's had since she came to Gotham, "Who is Batman and Co?"
There it was! The Batcave and All it's glory...
Oh... the bags under his eye of sleepless nights, the flirty persona, the stomping around trying to make his presence known to you.
"Bruce Wayne is Batman..." No sooner had you said those words did you feel a sharp pain in the back of your head and the world fade into darkness...
242 notes · View notes
yandere-avatar · 9 months ago
Text
My Jealousy, Jealousy Started Following Me
Characters: Avatar Aang, Katara, Sokka, Suki, Zuko, Toph Beifong, Ty Lee, Avatar Korra, Asami Sato, Tenzin, Kya II, Lin Beifong, Suyin Beifong, Opal Beifong [Might do another with Azula, Mako, Bolin, and Kuvira if yall want] Had this in the drafts for a while. Just had to finish it up. Holy shit this took forever. Kept debating if it was worth it...
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Avatar Aang
Aang likes to think he doesn't get jealous
He's calm and collective
But that all changed when one of the girls at Toph's Metal Bending Academy tried hitting you up
He likes to give them the benefit of the doubt and thinks maybe they don't know you're both dating
"Hey Babe! Come look at this sculpture Toph made!" [He'll call you nonchantly, hoping they'll get the hint]
But when the other person also walks over, still flirting with you, that's when he gets angry
He'd want to confront them, but honestly he's to nice for that
He might ask Katara for help
Katara will tell you how Aang feels
You'll confront Aang, but he'll pretend he doesn't know what you're talking about
"You know, you can tell me, Aang. You trust me, right?"
He'll sigh and admit and you'll comfort him, even confiding in him that sometimes you get jealous when people hit on him
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Katara
HAHAHAHA
Oh, I really feel bad for whoever is flirting with you
Katara is a very jealous woman
She doesn't like people taking what's hers
She might lightly bend them, but she'll do it nonchalantly
She'll justify it by saying that it's not a big deal and you're blowing it out of proportions
She gets really frustrated with herself, because she hates this feeling
She's very powerful, so she's not someone you want to mess with
She gets irritated and will roll her eyes as someone tries to flirt with you
Very passive aggressive
You better be prepared for a fight
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Sokka
He's so confused
Did that person not know you were taken?
He already has insecurities, so this doesn't help
He knows you're great, one of the MANY things he likes about you, so of course people would want your attention, but the point still stands
He'll probably do something stupid to get your attention
It's rather ridiculous
You'll look away from the person flirting with you to see your boyfriend about to get hurt
"Hey, I have to leave, my boyfriend is about to get himself killed"
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Suki
She's very confident, so she's not worried about this person at all
Though, she is annoyed, because who did that person think they were?
She will probably call your attention to her and do something to impress you, so you focus on her
She smiles when seeing you turn your attention away from them [Flirter]
It's a huge win for her
There is a slight part of her that is insecure because she sees you as incredible and she knows other people see it too
What if you end up leaving her? It really bothers her
So she's always doing crazy stuff to impress you so you never leave
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Zuko
Probably the easiest to anger and get jealous
He has no control over his emotions what so ever
He WILL start a fight with the guy hitting on you
He does NOT care who they are or what was say, he's going to put them in their place
But before he does that, he'll express to you that he's upset, but you think it's nothing
He tries to win your affection by beating that guy up
You're just annoyed because you think he overreacted. He says he didn't [He did]
Will gaslight you, saying it's your fault
"Why were you even talking to him!?"
He's so angry and he'll break the closest thing to him
He wants to control his anger, but you really bring out this side of him. He makes sure you know it too, because he tells you
So, when he's done throwing this temper tantrum, you both leave the party; Mad af
You're mad that the party and good vibe was ruined and he's mad that you're mad, because he was just trying to get that dude away from you
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Toph Beifong
She can feel the other person's heart beat pick up as they continue to hit on you
She's annoyed, but doesn't know how to express it healthily
She might use her bending to push that person away from you
She'll give them a show, so that they can have something to talk about
Might even crush them
The thought makes her smirk
She'll send little earthquakes to the person
Treated thems like a ball and and bounces them with the earth, without making it obvious
She'll forget about it when you come over to her and talk to her
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Ty Lee
She's the least likely to get jealous because she's also a player
Though she does get upset when seeing that you're uncomfortable
She'll glare and excuse herself from whatever conversation she's in, even if it's with Azula, and walks over to where you are
Her tactic is to come in hot, just like the person flirting with you
She'll aggressively flirt with them to try and make them uncomfortable
But if that doesn't work, she'll be very direct and say that you're together and that they need to stop
They'll think it's a joke but Ty Lee is dead serious
She's willing to fight them if it comes to that
She might also grab your hand and drag you away, if you ask her not to make a scene
She'll keep an eye on you for the rest of the night
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Avatar Korra
Korra gets extremely jealous
If someone even LOOKS at you in a way she doesn't like, she'll get angry
She's possessive over the things that are hers
Anyone approaches her and they are pushed into the wall
She's pissed and can't control her bending
She'll apologize to the person she hurt, but she doesn't really mean it. She's still focused on you
You're HERs, so why are they talking to you
Everyone knows you belong to the Avatar, so why even try?
She's thinking of all the ways she could kill them
It kind of makes her feel a little better, but not much
She is slightly insecure though, because what if you do like them better than her? No, you can't... You just can't like them more
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Asami Sato
She'll roll her eyes and glare at them
They've got some balls talking to you, everyone knows you have a girlfriend, so why is that person flirting w/ you ??
She'll come strutting over & flip her hair
"Who's this babe?"
She's smiling, but anyone with eyes can see that's not true
Man if looks could kill
You tell her that they were telling you about some acomplishment they achieved
"Oh, did you tell them how we work with the Avatar and have saved the world?"
She's deadass going to shove her accomplishments in their face
She's so pretty too so she knows that they don't stand a chance
She's already won this fight, so they might as well give up
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Tenzin
Haha? Him? Jealous? No of course not-
Okay, he's extremely jealous, but it doesn't show at all
He has mad stern resting face- No emotions
But inside he's steaming
You probably have a little bit of an age gap, so he's worried you'll leave him for someone your age
[But you've liked Tenzin for a long time, so you weren't letting him go anytime soon]
He's trying to preoccupy his attention
Though, it's not working
He can't get it off his mind
Will definitely start a fight over it later
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Kya
She's confused. Why is someone flirting with you?
She's not insecure, just annoyed
Because who the hell did they think they were? Did they not know you were taken. No, they had to have known
She's pretty easygoing, so she won't act irrationally
Instead, she'll continue doing her thing and allowing you to do your own thing, because you're your own human being
She'll probably bring it up, like... offhandly, so you don't get suspicious
"Hey, who was the person you were talking to? You know, the one who had talked to Tenzin?"
You don't even think about it and are like "Oh! Yeah, they were so annoying. I think they were trying to hit on me."
She laughs it off, but she's not happy
Thankfully, you complain about it, annoyed af
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Lin Beifong
We know how she acts when she's broken up with [Hence her destroying ATI]
Try her and see what happens
She's a cop and she's willing to play dirty and arrest the person or frame them for a crime
She's going to ruin their life
And she doesn't even care if it destroys that person
The only person she cares about is you
She wants to hurt them
And she will stop at no means necessary to make sure it doesn't ever happen again
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Suyin Beifong
She, like her daughter, is passive aggressive
She'll glare and crush whatever is in her hand
She'll fantasize about all the ways she would kill the person flirting with you
She wants for it not to bother her, but it really does
Maybe because there is a part of her that is scared you'll leave her [Like Tenzin did to her sister]
She'll take a deep breath, before smiling, and approaching you
She'll try and join the conversation, but the person who was hitting on you cuts them off and pushes her out of the conversation
She gets pissed
How dare they do that to her
She wants to throw hands with them, but holds herself together
She'll grab your hand, capturing your attention
"Yeah?"
She then tells you she wants to go back home
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Opal Beifong
She feels very strongly about you and doesn't know what to feel when seeing someone flirt with you so openly
She knows it's not your fault, but god does she hate watching it
Though with her outgoing nature, she'd walk up and join the conversation, switching it to what she wants
She's easy going, so she doesn't really exhibit jealousy, because she goes with the flow
Though if you look closely, you can see her eye twitch and her mouth frown ever so lightly
She's quite passive aggressive and can be quite mean with her words
488 notes · View notes
p0orbaby · 10 months ago
Text
Divitiae
summary: you bring Leah to the family home for the first time
warnings: nowt
a/n: I don’t know what this is. I do, it’s old money!reader
word count: 1.3k
-
Leah is no stranger to the uncomfortable.
She’s an athlete. A celebrity. Her life is full of unpleasantness. Tricky opponents. Unwanted media attention. You name it, she’s experienced it, she’s gotten over it.
But this? This is different. She can’t seem to settle into the plush leather seats of the car she’s being chauffeured in. As the rolling fields of your estate blur past, she can’t ignore the anxious feeling sitting heavy in her stomach.
"You okay?" you asked, noticing her wide-eyed expression.
"This is way beyond anything I imagined," Leah admitted with a nervous laugh. "I feel like I've been dropped onto a different planet”
You smiled, intertwining your fingers with hers. "It's a world that comes with its own set of traditions and luxuries. But remember, at its core, it's still just a place filled with people”
She nodded, taking a deep breath. "Sorry, it's all a bit overwhelming,” she admitted.
You chuckled softly, squeezing her hand reassuringly. “It’s a lot to take in, I know. But trust me, it’s a lot more boring that it looks”
As the car approached the Manor’s grand entrance, Leah's eyes widened further. "And what about you? How did you adapt to all this?"
"I grew up with it, but it was never about the titles or the estates for me," you explained. "It's about never taking what I’ve been given for granted. And now, I want you to share what I have. With you”
The grand entrance of the Manor commanded attention, its towering doors flanked by intricately carved pillars. As the car glided to a halt, a symphony of movement unfolded. Impeccably dressed housekeepers and butlers formed a line, standing at attention like living sculptures.
You always hated the formality of just popping home.
The door swung open with a deliberate grace, revealing the Head Butler, a paragon of composed customs. “Welcome back, Lady Y/N,” he greeted you, nodding respectfully. His keen eyes shifting to Leah with a subtle hint of surprise when you reach out a hand to assist her in getting out of the car.
Leah offered a shy smile, feeling the weight of everyone's attention. "Hello," she greeted politely, trying to match the decorum of the staff.
Eyes lingered on her, people muttered under their breaths to one another as you led her inside. You were never the one who brought back company.
Your mother and father appeared at the top of the grand staircase, wearing warm smiles. "Darling, you never told us you were coming home!" your mother exclaimed, descending with graceful steps.
“Because I didn’t think a grand welcoming would be necessary, but here we are” you quip, eyeing the hoards of staff ferrying your luggage away, before leaning in to kiss them both on the cheeks in greeting.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Leah. Our daughter has spoken so highly of you”
Leah shook your fathers extended hand, her nerves easing slightly with his genuine warmth and kindness. "Thank you, it's an honor to meet you both too”
“Don’t be silly,” your mother interjected with a warm smile. “We’re thrilled to have you here”
Just as you thought the introductions were going smoothly, a mischievous, loud voice echoed through the foyer. "Well, well, what do we have here?" Your older brother, notorious for his teasing, emerges from the shadows with a smirk.
Leah's eyes narrowed playfully as your sibling continued, "Is this the one my baby sister has brought home? Quite the catch!"
“Arthur” you say, turning to Leah who stands pin-straight beside you. “The eldest and forever a thorn in my side”
He grinned, unabashed by the acknowledgment. “Guilty as charged. And who’s this lovely lady you’ve brought into the lion’s den?”
“Leah. Pleasure to meet you, Arthur” she offers politely.
With an exaggerated bow, he replied, “The pleasure is undoubtedly mine, Leah. Y/N, I must say, you’ve been hiding a real gem from us”
You rolled your eyes, accustomed to your brother's childishness. “Don’t let his theatrics fool you, my love. He’s all smoke and mirrors”
“You wound me, dear sister”
“Where’s Teddy?” You ask, desperate to change the conversation. “I’ve got something I want to give him”
“Paris. Some fancy foundation thing,” Arthur informs you, bored. “You know, the kind of event where people pretend to care about saving the world while sipping champagne”
You hum because you know the kind all too well. Yourself and Arthur were never really fond of such events, always finding them more about appearances than genuine concern. Your baby brother Theodore, on the other hand, always seemed to revel in the grandeur of such occasions. He had a knack for effortlessly blending into the sophisticated crowd, seemlessly navigating conversations about philanthropy while maintaining an air of genuine interest.
At only 21, he was a force to be reckoned with.
A door clicks open on the other side of the room and all your heads swivel towards the noise. Finding an immaculately dressed Housman waiting in tow.
“Refreshments?” Your father gestures towards the drawing room. “We keep your favourites just for occasions like this”
You exchange a glance with Leah, considering the tempting offer, but politely decline. “Thank you, but we’ll pass for now. I was thinking of showing Leah around and maybe getting settled into our rooms”
-
“These gardens have been here for generations,” you explain, pointing out various features. “Each generation has added their own touch. It’s like a family tradition, but with more dirt and fewer family meetings”
You gesture towards a particularly vibrant rose bush. “My grandmother planted these. She was all about the classic symbolism of love and romance”
Moving on, you point at a well-crafted fountain. “Father took it upon himself to build this thing. He liked the idea of having his little oasis right here”
“And those magnolias over there?” you say, nodding towards a cluster of trees. “Mother’s idea. She thought they were classy, I guess”
“I think it’s sweet,” Leah admits with a genuine smile.
You both continue your leisurely stroll through the garden, surrounded by a symphony of colors and scents. The vibrant wildflowers sway gently in the breeze, their hues blending seamlessly. The sun-dappled paths lead you deeper into the greenery, and the distant murmur of a hidden fountain bubbles in the background.
“Perhaps you wouldn’t mind contributing then?” You muse as you pass under a canopy of wisteria vines. “You know, to carry on the tradition”
Leah’s eyes meet yours, and in that moment, she can’t help but fall a little more in love with you. The sincerity in your voice, the hint of shyness in your demeanor. It’s a side of you she doesn’t see often.
“I would love to” she replies, and she doesn’t miss the way your shoulders deflate. Like you’d been nervous she’d ever deny you. “But only if you help me choose?”
A toothy grin spreads across your face and a childlike happiness floods your features, “come on” you say suddenly. “There’s one last thing out here I want to show you”
Before she knows it you’re dragging her briskly under cherry blossoms and past hidden duck ponds. Only stopping when the shade of the apple trees makes her skin prickle and shadows dance across your face.
“An orchard?”
“Yes” you say. “The apples actually get picked and donated to local schools. But I must admit that is not why I brought you out here”
“No?” She asks, confused.
Without saying a word, you push her chest slightly so she stumbles back against the trunk of a tree, and connect your lips to hers. She’s not expecting it, you can tell because her hands hover by her sides momentarily. Until you run your own down the length of her arms and place them around your neck yourself.
She settles then. When her mouth moves against yours and your hands find solace at her waist. As the rolling fields of your estate fade away, she can’t ignore the anxiousness in her stomach disappearing like a whisper on a summer breeze.
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spacebarbarianweird · 11 months ago
Text
Things We Deserve
Summary: Astarion re-lives one of the traumatic episodes of his life, and considers himself unworthy of love.
Pairing: Astarion x f!Tav
Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship, f!tav, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, mentions of past abuse
TW: a mild description of forced prostitution
Read on AO3
Masterlist
Headcanons
Thanks @satanicspinosaurus for your help! I live for your commentaries on ethical issues.
It is on the same corner of the street in the Lower City. Again.
A young elf is looking for a “client”. It's not difficult — he has soft white curls, a gentle smile, the body sculptured by some elven god. A glance, two, some nice words — and there is a night of passion ahead.
A half-orc, almost twice as big as the elf, grabs his chin and studies his face as if Astarion is an inanimate object. Then orders to lift up his shirt. The client looks at him with the same expression as if he were buying a horse. 
His hand gropes the elf’s crotch, causing him to moan. 
"Works for me", the half-orc grabs a handful of silver curls with his stiff fingers. "Never fucked an elf".
Astarion obeys. This is what he is. A mere street whore.
No, go away, you don't need to do that anymore. You are free, don't let him touch you!
Astarion knows what will come next. Two half-orcs, who despise and hate elves to their guts will really enjoy having one for themselves for the whole night. 
They’ll give him pain. Disgust. Burning touches. 
"Entertain us, elf", the half-orc groans pressing the Astarion’s face into the pillow. 
Here’s a joke: the elf wants to die. Sadly, he is already dead. And that's his life now. Forever. 
Beatings. Non-consensual sex. Or consensual? Is this what he wants? He never says “no”, after all.
I want you all to burn down, Astarion thinks spreading his legs. I want you to suffer as much as I do!
The half-orcs never give him a chance to drag them to the Cazador’s mansion. They won't die. They won't suffer. They use Astarion and then leave. A small sack of silver breaks when it is thrown on the floor.
And Astarion will have to deal with his sore body and numb mind. Forcing himself to get someone else inside the brothel, knowing too well that he is already doomed for torture because he hasn’t returned on time. Even if he delivers the most innocent and beautiful virgin to Cazador, he will be punished anyway.
Flayed with a razor. What? He is a vampire. He will regenerate. 
Astarion opens his eyes and finds himself on the floor. 
Where is he?
It's not a brothel. More like an Inn?
Reality slips back into his mind, replacing the awful visions of the past.
It wasn't real. Of course, it wasn't.
He doesn't have to sell his body anymore. He doesn’t have to sleep with people he doesn't like and want. He won't be beaten for saying “no”. He even has the luxury to say “no” to Tav, the only person whose body he enjoys. 
But two hundred years of memories are too vivid. Tortures. Humiliation. Misery. Forced prostitution. He had to do the most disgusting things on his master's whims, and Astarion is afraid nothing will ever wash it away. 
The flood of darkness flushes his brain again. Astarion rises up on his knees as if in a desperate prayer.
Why him?
Why did it happen to him?
His life was stolen. His personality, his future, his past. All was brutally taken away along with his beating heart.
Leaving only pain and disgust.
Tears burn his skin. The scars hurt as if they are still fresh and bleeding. 
He was stripped away of everything. Of freedom. Of dignity. Of his own self-respect.
The person he could have become. The future he could have embraced. 
Why?
Why?!
He digs his nail deep into his skin as if trying to peel it off. He is a vampire. It will regenerate.
Touches. The smell of unwashed bodies. Movements inside him. The fake pleasure. Pain. Always — pain. Either physical or mental, but often both. 
He clenches his fists and groans like a wounded animal.
"Astarion"
A gentle voice resonates with his broken thoughts. 
“Astarion, are you with me?”
He looks up and sees Tav. She sits in front of him. Concerned face. Worried eyes. She doesn’t move, doesn’t try to touch him. Like he's a person.
Like he's worth something.
Like he's broken and she needs to be careful.
"Oh, hello, darling", the mask is on again. "I am sorry. I've been carried away a bit. Tell me how was your day in the sunlight."
Tav sighs. “Astarion, I returned an hour ago. And you’ve been like that all this time.”
"Darling, you could just call me over”, Astarion smiles. 
"I have done it five times."
“Oh. Then … “
“Astarion, I know when your smile is sincere and when it’s not. Don’t force yourself.”
He stops and sits back.
“May I touch you?”, she asks.
He nods. The caress sends a shiver down his spine and Astarion flinches avoiding looking at Tav.
He remembers. Again, and again. Never-ending tortures disguised as pleasures. Things he would have never done voluntarily. The dirt on his skin. The poison on his tongue.
Astarion wants to hide. He wants to disappear. He wants to run away.
Tav crawls closer to him to hold him in her hands. 
He shivers.
“Hush, I am here. Tell me what is plaguing you.”
He almost orders himself to relax. Tav is here. Tav loves him. Tav doesn’t judge. Whatever he tells her, she won’t get angry. She won’t hurt him. She won’t punish him. Tav won’t use him for sex and pleasure. It will never happen no matter what he does. 
He can run away. He can say “no”. He can fight back.
"Just a memory of a certain night in the lower town. A night of... what I usually was supposed to do. I...” the words stuck in his throat. “I am tainting you, Tav. I am ruining you.”
"Stop", Tav puts her chin on his shoulder nuzzling his collarbone. 
"I am a terrible person, Tav. I truly am. It all happened to me and I sometimes think what a terrible person I used to be if I inflicted it all upon myself.”
Instead of answering, Tav holds him tighter as if not to not allow him to drown in dark waters. 
"Do you remember anything from your past life?"
"No"
"Then why do you think you were a bad person?”
“Because — … “
He doesn’t know the answer. A corrupt magistrate who would easily ruin people’s lives. An arrogant racist who hated everyone who didn’t belong to the pure fairy kin. 
But was it true?
“Listen, Astarion. I won’t pretend I know what you were like back then. I won’t lie by saying I know why it happened to you. But everything you “know” about your past life comes from Cazador. What if it was just another of his tortures? He wanted you to believe you were a bad person. He wanted you to think you were guilty. I know that type. It’s a special pleasure for them to torture good people. He — “
“Made me a street whore.”
He spits the last word. Yes, that is what he was all these years. He can mask it all with fancy words. Conquests, lovers, seduction. When it was just abuse.
Words spill out of him.
"Sometimes I wasn’t even supposed to drag anyone to the mansion. It was more like retrieving information by doing the only thing I knew how to do well. Sometimes it was an order to pleasure someone - as a reward for them. Sometimes it was just pointless. Just one more thing to break me even more.”
"You say like you did it of your own free will", she says.
"I-"
"You did it because you were like a puppet. Because it was impossible to say “no”. The moment you set yourself free, you stopped doing that."
"And the first thing I did was seduce you!”
She cups his face and kisses his forehead. It causes another flow of tears. 
“I have my own free will, too,” she says. “Do you think I would sleep with you if I didn’t want to? I am not the person who hooks up with men in brothels and I am not the person who would enjoy a sentient trophy to fuck. It’s not normal to find people on streets and treat them like objects.”
Tav cradles him in her arms. Astarion’s muscles are still tense. He can’t do anything about that. Maybe, if Tav leaves him for a moment, he will find a way to relax but the mere thought of staying alone scares him.
She kisses him. Saying all the sweet words she knows to soothe his worries.
"I have an idea," she finally says. “Could you lie on your stomach?"
“What for?”
Tav kisses his neck.
"Please?"
He is trying to lie on the floor but Tav stops him.
“On the bed.”
He hesitates but agrees. Astarion puts his hands under his cheek. His bare back is exposed and it causes him to clench his fists again.
“I will stop if you feel uncomfortable, love. Just tell me and I will stop”
He nods. Tav saddles him with her hips and presses hands on his ribs.
“Can I touch your scars?”
“Yes.”
Tav presses arms into his skin causing a pleasant pressure. The fingers massage his back but there is nothing sexual about it. It's not a premise, not a prelude. It will lead to nothing. He won’t have to pay back.
The hands massage his back, strongly and gently. 
"You have beautiful hands”, Tav murmurs. “They can do so many things —”
Yes, he thinks darkly, bringing pleasure mostly.
“They can sew, embroider. Pick up lockers. Steal pretty things. I like watching you doing tricks with coins. Can’t take my eyes off. Speaking of which… ”
Tav touches his curls.
“You have incredible eyes. Crimson red – “
The color of blood.
“The color of wine”, Tav proceeds. “You are always vigilant, like a cat on a hunt. You notice small details and see things I don’t.”
Tav moves a bit to be able to press a kiss on the crown of his head.
“You are so smart. You know so many things.” She gently touches his right ear. “I love your ears and how they peek out of your hair. They are so adorable especially when they twitch a bit, reacting to sounds or to your jaw movements.”
She keeps talking to him, massaging his back. The words of reassurance, of love, sound like a prayer. The touches and kisses cover his skin like a healing ointment.
Astarion feels protected. Loved. 
And then it’s just too much.
He bursts into tears. Desperate, painful. Tears rip his chest apart causing pain in the throat. 
Tav stops and gets off him allowing him to lay on his back.
“Astarion… Did I hurt you?”
He wants to say something but he can’t. He cries like a child abandoned in the streets. Cries like he did many years ago when the first tortures were inflicted upon him. When he realized no one would save him. That the Gods were silent and merciless. 
“Astarion…”
All the darkness he has in his heart is spilling through the tears. They wash away the pain and disgust like rain washes dirt in the Lower City. 
With effort he pulls Tav to him pressing her to his chest. She wraps her hands around him.
“Thank you”, he mutters through tears.
They sit like that for an eternity. Astarion listens to Tav’s heartbeat and breathing. He remembers her first reaction to his stories – anger. Pure, livid anger. Anger to people who did this to him. Not only Cazador but everyone who treated him like an object. And sorrow – she mourned his past along with him. 
She is his happiness. The happiness he has never considered worthy of. He has found it with her. And he will be forever grateful for her patience and care.
“Tav?”, he whispers but she doesn’t reply. He pulls away a bit and sees she is asleep.
Astarion chuckles and helps Tav to lie on the bed beside him. He tucks her into the blanket and makes sure she lies on the dry side of the pillow (not the section damp with his tears).
And then, he begins whispering words like a prayer.
Thank you. Thank you for existing.
--
Tag List
@tragedybunny @caitlincat-95 @tallymonster @astarionsbeloved @lumienyx @fayeriess @elora-the-slutty-songstress @veillsar @astarion-imagine-archive @micropoe10 @starlight-ipomoea @herstxrgirl @theearthsfinalconfession @ashrio20 @not-so-lost-after-all @vixstarria @wintersire @marcynomercy
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years ago
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Some recent pressed leaves and stuff to add to the collection :0
#LOV giant nasturtium leaves#and they press weirdly thin like when they dry out it's almost like a super super fragile sheet of tracing paper or something#I also just really enjoy collecting textures and patterns and stuff. like it's not really about them looking pretty but more just#something notable. like the cool dotted pattern or the stripey veiny looking one#I have so much I want to get done by the end of the year but have been so unproductive still lol ToT#I've had new costumes and like Actual Stuff To Post for probably 2 months now but they just sit in a folder and I forget about#them and like walk in circles talking to myself all day instead or something hhh#I think it's the classic cycle of like 'I am too stressed to be productive > the fact that i'm not being productive stresses me out > i am#even more stressed and no more productive > being unproductive stresses me out > so on and so forth forever' lol#or the 'I have so many goals in life and so much motivation and so many things I love and want to do > there are too many things to do#at once and it's overwhelming > do none of them instead'  cycle lol#I think my main focuses in the new year though are to finally finish the worldbuilding slideshow. Do more costumes. And do more sculptures#since I haven't done a lot of those in a while. And still work on my games and short stories and stuff that takes place in my worldbuilding#world but those are more difficult longterm tasks so I think they should be like. not the MAIN main focus or else I'll never feel like I do#anything. I think that was the problem for the past while is that the things I had delegated as my Main Focuses That Go Above All Else#are so long and difficult and tedious that you never feel like you're making progress so it's like you're ignoring all the other stuff you#could be doing in favor of a thing that feels like you're not doing anything thus you get a chronic feeling of never finishing anything ever#Whereas like. I can do a sculpture in a day or two. and I can do costumes in a day or less. Having a steadier flow of Small Things i can fee#l like I'm actually accomplishing will maybe help it not just be like 'okay I spent a whole day doing somehting and have nothing tangible to#show for it because it's just text in a word document that probably nothing will ever even come of because it will take me years to finish'#The biggest insurmountable task at the moment is the worldbuilding slideshow but I am chugging through.. slowly lol.. It takes me about#2 hours to read 25 slides (they're not bullet points it's like little paragraphs on each slide). and I have about 800 to go. so thats..#naur.. i shant even calculate it... plus editing one hour of vidoe usually takes about 2 hours so you double it. if I have that much recordi#ng of me reading slides to edit. then turning them all into a final video should take.... i cannot say. i shall not think of it#And I've just had a very stressful few weeks HOWEVER I just always like tp start the new year with stuff cleared like.. all of my messages I#haven't answered in 3+ weeks responded to. all of my emails to my doctors checked. house cleaned and organized. photos cleared and organized#off of the computer. everyting backed up in some sort of physical storage. clear out drafts. rewrite all of my main todo lists. decide prio#rities and yearly/monthly/weekly goals. consider the trajectory of my life and what I need to do. etc. etc. So I feel like I don't have any#time to waste and can't rest. yet.. alas.. It doesn't help that I feel sick out of nowehre like 50% of the time#I know some poeple can work/focus on tasks with body aches and etc. but my brain is just always like 'No. :)' .. grrrbb
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ms-demeanor · 1 year ago
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Do you have any suggestions for any low key sex toys? Like, something that if I accidentally leave out and have people I really don't want seeing it over, they won't immediately think sex toy before I can try to casually put it away. I know that people should be more accepting that a grownass woman would have sex toys, but unfortunately I'm not in a safe place for that
I like this ask because literally the first thing I did when I got my clit suction vibe was take a picture like this:
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It's the horny inhaler.
ANyway, there are lots of sex toys that aren't immediately clockable as sex toys. A classic is the "I Rub My Ducky" vibe, a vibrator that looks like a rubber duck toy that has been around forever. I remember seeing those at a sex shop in like 2006; I think people probably mostly get them as a novelty but hey if it works it works.
One of the vibes that I linked to earlier looks like a beauty blender:
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There are a ton of bullet vibes out there designed to look like lipsticks or necklaces. Stuff that's insertable is more likely to end up looking like it's a sex toy, but there are a lot of dildos that are more sculptural and don't *instantly* read as dildos. Here's a glow-in-the-dark glass dildo that could easily pass as sailor moon memorabilia.
Here's a clit suction toy that's shaped like a plastic rose. (That's also a good intro price for a suction toy with that many options and also possibly a good option for people who loathe the brand name "womanizer" for clit suction toys)
There are whole lists of discreet toys, but here's one thing I want to tell you and anyone else reading this: DO NOT FUCK ROCKS. DO NOT GET A QUARTZ DILDO OR A JADE EGG. THAT SHIT IS POROUS. YOU CAN FIND A GLASS DILDO WITH A SIMILAR AESTHETIC DO NOT FUCK THE ROCKS THE ROCKS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU'RE PUTTING THEM IN YOUR HOLES. DO NOT FUCK THE ROCKS.
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orionremastered · 6 months ago
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Hello!
I recently read your shifter!reader and i wonder if you could do something like the wolf walkers movie? Please? Like reader shifting in to a big wolf when they're sleeping and theyr body is there but theyr soul become a physical wolf
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Masterlist
idk why but i can't tag anyone rn? tf? anyhoo no taglist
Rare
Rare. That's the word they described you with; your name synonymous with it. By being a dire wolf shifter, you are part of the small group within the already small amount of shifters in the world; the shifters that could turn into extinct creatures.
Rare. Like your favourite painting. An art nerd you shall forever stay, especially with your recently obtained degree in Art History, gazing upon the intricate colours and strokes, perfectly placed and perfectly designed. It tells a story that you can only hear if you strain your ears.
Rare. There's only one of that painting and it's being displayed, the original copy, in Gotham. Most thieves ignore the paintings in Gotham because these museums usually have alarms that don't call the cops, but something worse. You've just chosen to watch over it because you're broke and can't afford a ticket to the gallery it's important to you and should stay safe.
Rare. Thieves thinking that it'd be funny to try and steal it while a wolf whose head reaches their chests stalks the art exhibit. You sense them far before they notice you, and decide to politely alert them so with a snarl. Their heads whip around and all six of them pull out rifles, beginning to fire.
Rare. The chances of you still being in one piece as you duck behind a stone sculpture, snarling as they damage the statue. Then screams as some of the gunfire lessens. You charge out, teeth bared to defend the masterpieces all around you. Taking one down is easy when his back is turned, and you take down the last one just as fast.
Rare. The chances of three shifters, two well-known 'friends' that often work together as vigilantes Golden and Wraith, and then you. A dire wolf shifter and larger than both. They stare at each other and then back at you.
Rare. That's what a mental link between shifters is, and it's even more strange for them to include a new shifter into their link so quickly.
Wraith: Who are you?
You: I could ask the same.
Golden: You're a dire wolf shifter? Aren't those rare?
You: They are rare.
One of the windows slowly opens as two figures enter the exhibit, sighing at the thieves at your feet (paws?). Then they see you and exchange a glance of disbelief.
"What's this? A dire wolf shifter?" Nightwing asks, patting Golden on the head. You're aware that the two vigilante shifters have a good reputation with the human-form vigilantes, especially the youngest, Robin, who stands beside Nightwing. According to Wraith, he's an animal lover.
"They're quite rare," Robin muses, slowly scratching behind your ear to test the waters.
Rare. That's what you are, and now that's who you are.
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jeonginsleftcheek · 1 month ago
Text
The sun to me
Chapter V. Carved.
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x afab!reader
word count: 2.8k
chapter summary: what's carved into the mind becomes carved into the wood, etched forever in the heart even if it bleeds.
warnings: angsty, mentions of drugs, vague descriptions of self-harm and suicide, overall sad chapter
~ Masterlist for the series
~ next part
🤍 Magnolia - perseverance and determination
Isaac stands turned towards the window, his warm brown eyes roam everywhere they can, catching the fleeting sparkle of golden sun rays reflecting off of different surfaces, casting the glow into his irises.
The quiet afternoon is welcoming and warm as he sips on his herbal tea and enjoys the almost completely still world around him.
If he was asked 30 years ago where does he see himself in the future, this is not what he would ever imagine.
Always leading a busy life, living in a hurry, running with the crazy world around him, not ever once stopping to smell the roses.
What was he in a hurry to do? Hurry to see more, hurry to get it done, hurry to die?
He has no idea what kind of force drove him back then, maybe it was just the youthful energy he was filled with back then.
He'd like to think he's calmer and wiser now, flowing like a gentle stream rather than a fast and rambunctious river.
The door closes behind him and he turns slowly to be greeted by the said fast and rambunctious river taking the shape of a young man known by the name Hyunjin.
His backpack is slinged on one shoulder, his jeans are dirtied, his hair is slightly messy and his face wears a blissful and giddy smile, one that Isaac recognizes as he himself wore the same smile many years before.
"Afternoon, Hyunjin."- he greets the young man.
"Afternoon."- Hyunjin answers with a nod, the big smile never ceasing from his lips.
"You look rather joyful."- Isaac says, finishing his tea.
"Oh well, I had a really good day. I planted petunias."- he says, not revealing too much. "And I really need to take a shower now."- he laughs.
"Alright, don't let me stop you from your plans."- Isaac lifts his hand up in surrender. "Do join me in my studio later, please."
"Oh that! Right, I will I promise."- Hyunjin says before hurrying up to his room.
Isaac lets out a quiet chuckle before making his way to his beloved studio.
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In the early evening hours, Hyunjin finally gathers the courage to knock on the big wooden door leading to Isaac's studio.
"Come in, come in."- he hears him say, his voice muffled.
Hyunjin opens the door and is immediately hit by the intense smell of wood and varnish, even stronger in the studio than in the rest of the house. If he takes a deep breath in, he thinks he might be sick but at the surface it's not too unpleasant to his senses.
"You'll get used to it quickly."- Isaac chuckles, noticing the young man's face is scrunched up.
"Come, sit here."- Isaac beckons, patting the chair next to him and Hyunjin sits down in the creaky seat.
The studio is big, even bigger than the living room and the dining room together, huge glass windows letting the afternoon sun in as it casts a glow on all of the wooden furniture and sculptures scattered everywhere.
For a moment, it looks as if though the wood is expanding and breathing, like it's still alive, but it's just a trick of the mind, swirling the patterns on the different works of art in Hyunjin's eyes.
He then looks at the table, his eyes roaming all over the different tools and wood chunks spread before the two of them.
"You ready to learn some whittling?"- Isaac smiles, excited to be someone's teacher again, like he was to his son. He wishes he'd been a better teacher then, not just giving him lectures about how his hands should move but also how to help his heart come out of the depths of despair.
"Ready as I'll ever be."- Hyunjin is in a good mood, transferring the giddiness to Isaac.
"We are using basswood today. It has fine texture and it's good for beginners like you."- Isaac says.
"What are we gonna make?"- Hyunjin asks.
"You can make whatever you want and I will guide you how to do it. But you'll need some protection first."- Isaac gives Hyunjin a slice resisting glove for the hand which will hold the wood, and a thumb guard for pushing onto the back of the blade safely.
"I don't know what I can do."- Hyunjin chuckles awkwardly and Isaac shakes his head.
"Maybe let's start with some type of animal or a face, that's easy."
"Doesn't sound easy."- Hyunjin chuckles and Isaac gives him a piece of the wood and a pencil.
"Draw out an owl, for example. You have to sketch before actually dealing with the knife."- Isaac has another bigger and already half-done sculpture of a woman with a dress flying around her as she dances.
Hyunjin does as he said, the familiarity of sketching before doing something he's never done before brings him a peace of mind.
"How did you decide to do this?"- Hyunjin suddenly asks and Isaac looks up from his sculpture, with a small smile.
"Short or long version?"- he asks.
"I like long stories."- Hyunjin gives Isaac a big smile and Isaac leans back, putting his knife down onto the table.
Isaac was 6 years old when he sat in the very same studio for the first time with his father. Every single day, his father would spend hours in the room and little Isaac always wondered what was so interesting in there that it takes up so much of his father's attention.
He thought that there must be something very important and magical about that room, when his father spent more time in there than in any other room of their house.
His mother always told him not to bother him but Isaac was too curious for his own good and one day he stumbled inside. His father turned around with a startle as he was concentrating on measuring wood planks.
"Isaac!"- he exclaimed before putting his tools down.
"What are you doing daddy?"- he'd asked and his father sighed, coming closer to him and gently putting his hands on his son's shoulders.
"I'm making furniture. You know the table in the dining room where we sit and eat every day? I carved that with my own hands."
"Really?! Is it magic?"- Isaac's eyes are wide as he stares up at his father who chuckles endearingly at him.
"No son, it's hard work. I'll teach you some day, right now you're too small and it's dangerous for you. But you can watch while I make measurements and decorate."- he said and Isaac nodded excitedly, joining his dad.
Isaac was 16 when he decided to become a woodworker like his father, following right in his footsteps. He holed himself up in his father's studio when he'd succumbed to his sickness, leaving Isaac only with his mother.
The smell of varnish was something he didn't even feel anymore, after spending so much time inside the studio, working with the precious wood, taking splinters out of his flesh, Isaac soon became desensitized.
His mother, the house, the studio and the furniture he made and broke suffocated him and he decided to move away to the city, to be able to breathe and open his wings.
Isaac was 21 when he met the love of his life, Celia, the most beautiful woman that ever graced this planet in his eyes, a goddess made to be worshipped and loved.
That's what he vowed to do as soon as they got married only 4 months after they've met.
She was a dancer and he started selling his sculptures and furniture, both of them working odd jobs to make ends meet before an important man noticed Isaac's work and asked him to make a sculpture for his big mansion, promising to pay him a big amount of money.
It seemed too good to be true, but Celia begged him to try and give the man a chance. She had just found our she was pregnant and they needed all the money they could get.
As it turned out, the man wasn't a fraud, he was someone who genuinely enjoyed discovering young and talented people, helping them become recognized for their work, as he owned a gallery.
Isaac was quickly invited to make enough sculptures for an exhibition, a dream come true for him, and Celia was proud of her husband for reaching such great heights.
But as it often happens, what flies high has to come down eventually, and while the exhibition was a success, and so was the next one, and the next one, and the next one, Isaac was becoming more and more greedy, blinded by the promise of the distant shining lights.
His wife and his now 5 year old son Leo came second place after the fame he was bathed in and the riches he slept amongst. The people around him were the ones with the white noses, crooked smiles and tainted hearts, and he became one of them. Just another snotty rich man, snorting up the good stuff, his arm wrapped around some random pretty young woman.
Celia endured all of this for the sake of her son who was different since he was small, a sad little boy, always on the side, never playing with his peers, always silent, his voice quiet like an autumn breeze whirling dry leaves up in the air.
Isaac neglected his family in exchange for material things and women, and as his son kept growing up, he holed himself up in his room, finding comfort in whittling.
The knife was sharp, cutting out wood, cutting out skin. There was so much blood as his mother found him, quickly calling the ambulance.
They managed to save Leo for now, and Isaac was late as always, making Celia scream at him and hit him as she kept yelling that it was his fault and he did this to his family.
Isaac would've cried but his heart felt stuck, so he promised to be better from now on, as he took the both of them to the house on the island.
They took a little break here, hoping that the calmness and simple beauty of the island would inspire Leo, and make Isaac remember why he started it all, remind him of his dear parents, now food for the earth, remind him how he loved Celia, carving her beautiful figure into the wood again and again.
But when the wood is rotten inside, there is no way to save it and make it right again. The constant screaming of Leo's parents added to his clinically depressed state resulting in the carving of the skin again.
This time it was too late when Isaac had found him in the very room where Hyunjin sleeps now.
Celia left him after that and Isaac went back to the city, drowning himself in insignificant shit, drugs, fake smiles and sympathethic pats of people who didn't care for anything except their wallets.
He was dancing on thin ice, almost killing himself in the process, not caring about his well being or anything else except numbing the pain of knowing that he effectively killed his son and drove his wife away, driving himself to a fast breakdown.
"And now, I've been here for a long time."- Isaac wipes a single tear as Hyunjin sits stunned, the wood and the pencil still in his hands, as he tries to process the life the man sitting next to him went through.
"I- I don't know what to say. I'm really sorry for everything you went through."- Hyunjin speaks quietly, afraid that if he raises his voice, the room will be disturbed.
"Ah, it's not your fault. I told you all of this because I think you're going down a similar path, isn't that why you're here?"
"Honestly, it is. My manager - he's only hungry for money. And while he pretends to be my friend, I know he doesn't give a shit about me as a person, he only sees me as a source of income. The people around me are disgusting, the type I would never imagine myself hanging out with before. I feel like I fell into a hole and can't seem to unearth myself. It's like something's wrapped and weighing down on my ankles, perpetually pulling me down into the underground. I had to run away and find a peaceful place to find myself again."- Hyunjin confesses, saying everything out loud lifts a stone from his heart.
"I had a feeling it was like that because you remind me so much of myself when I was young. And I told you all of my story so you can learn a lesson by listening, not by doing. It would be a shame to throw your life away on insignificant things and end up alone like I am. Especially when you've found love."- Isaac smiles knowingly and Hyunjin jolts, hand squeezing the chunk of wood in his palm.
"L-love?"- he laughs awkwardly.
"The smile on your face today, it's something I wore many times on my own face. It's the completely dumb-in-love smile I had when I met Celia. I know you've spent the day with y/n, since you said you planted petunias. So what I'm saying is, nurture this. Don't let it slip away through your fingers. Don't make the same mistakes I did, you can still get back on the right path."- Isaac says and he can see the cogs turning in Hyunjin's head but he doesn't say anything.
It's enough for Isaac to see that he's letting the words sink in, so he decides to move onto the tutorial for whittling to actually teach Hyunjin how to sculpt the wood.
There is some classical music playing lightly in the background as Hyunjin learns something new for the second time today, a few push cuts, sweeping cuts and stab cuts later there is a little owl in Hyunjin's hands, with it's wings and eyes closed, looking like it's sitting peacefully somewhere high up in a tree.
"That is some good work for a beginner."- Isaac praises him, of course it's not perfect and it doesn't have to be but being an artist himself, Hyunjin's hands are already used to creating something out of nothing.
"Thank you."- he smiles as he observes the little owl, the symbol of wisdom and intuition, telling Hyunjin to just listen to his gut and try to hear what his heart wants, his heart that has withered in the dry and dark city between loveless people.
"You should add some finish to it to brighten it up and make it resilient to moisture."- Isaac says, giving Hyunjin some wood oil and a paintbrush.
Holding the brush in his fingers and moving it across the wood, makes him miss the feeling when he'd let his heart lead his hand on the canvas, his eyes could even be closed as he takes a moment to feel the art pouring out of his soul.
The time when everything was simple and beautiful, the time when he took back what his mother stole for him, the love he always had for creating.
"Thanks for joining me today."- Isaac says as they eat dinner.
"Thanks for telling me your story and teaching me your craft."- Hyunjin smiles genuinely.
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That night in bed, Hyunjin stares at the owl he carved that's now sitting on the night stand and his eyes travel up to the ceiling.
One of his hands is propped under his head and the other draws patterns in the blanket that he threw over himself.
His mind is buzzing with thoughts, every time he ends up thinking about the city and what Isaac told him, there's a knot in his stomach. He wishes he never has to leave, wishes that he never has to go back to the cold and cruel city, that he could continue living here, planting flowers with you every day, helping you take care of your garden, painting with you, holding you close.
He wishes life was that simple but it never is.
Hyunjin knows it's dangerous but he lets his mind settle onto daydreaming about you, creating different scenarios, all soft, loving, erotic, indulging himself with a fantasy he can only hope to live.
He falls asleep around 2am, mind and body tortured with thoughts of art, you, the city, Isaac and ultimately leading him to think about his mother and how she was the one who damaged him even before he damaged himself.
It's a vicious cycle that Hyunjin hopes he can break.
His eyes close and he falls into a dreamless sleep as the little wooden owl guards him, the moonlight casting a glow that makes it look like its eyes are opened and trained on Hyunjin.
And as silence covers the small island like a warm blanket, dark clouds travel from the distance reminding the quiet stars flickering in the sky that the calm always happens before a storm.
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✨Taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny @porangporangmeong @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @laughatdanger @lixies-favorite-cookie @linavc @quokkacidal @thisaintredwine @m00gyu @yaorzu-blog @skzfelixlove @tajannah-price1 @puccaaak @aft2rsexs @xxkissesforchanniexx @aprilmaejune77 @lilmeowneow @stayjinnie @astrobebba @danihwang882 @kaysungshine @nchhuhi @1810cl @chartrucewhore @babigriin @jisuperboard @alisonyus @minluvly @instantsoulnight @kkamismom12 @its-stayville-forever
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