#for mention of fasting

[hinamie]

trick or treat!

[chloesimaginationthings]

RIP Michael Afton.. you would of loved FLAF

[foldingfittedsheets]

So one thing I’ve noticed is that people’s DnD characters may vary but there is usually an underlying thread that they all have in common. This thread is typically related to what that person struggles with the most.

For instance, my betrotheds DnD characters: a bitchy warlock we had to bust out of two different pacts, a sassy barbarian, a reformed drow cultist, and a sunshine fighter cleric.

All these characters were wildly different but at their very core struggle was them grappling with their self worth. My betrothed struggles with their worth a great deal and even with different facets showing their characters all have that too.

Mine all tend to contend with different themes of loneliness and acceptance. Surprise, surprise, the little autistic gremlin yearns to have been met with more love and lasting friendships.

So we’re at breakfast. I am meeting a new friend of my betrotheds for the first time. It’s been twenty minutes since I’ve met this man. I say my theory. He laughs. He starts to describe a few of his characters but specifies that he often has healing aspects. He gives a very broad overview of their character arcs.

I ponder for a moment then said, “Would you like to have my assessment?”

He laughed, “Sure!”

“We’ve just met. It’s gonna get real.”

“Bring it on.”

“I think your struggle is that you feel you must offer something of value or service to people to be worthy of their love.”

His jaw dropped. His fork froze midway to his mouth. A potato fell. He stared into space as this sank in. Quietly he said, “Oh.”

[ramblinseahorsey]

As a person with bipolar disorder, I never thought I'd see a joke about mania I liked, but Gangle's struggles with her emotions and the heavy guilt for being over the top or needing help all the time was handled with so much care in her "episode". I feel respected and heard... Which is very rare.

Lots of people who are doting when your hurt in a thematically romance-able way, conveniently quiet or depressed and tragic, suddenly don't like helping or being around you, or even knowing you at all once your disabilities make you annoying, discomforting or angry. When your feelings are out of your control, and your hurt and overwhelming emotions disables you from being kind and helpful and happy, people are often much more disconcerted with you than bad behavior from a "normal" person. Sometimes it feels way lonelier than being stuck in a depressive episode somehow.

And you know they often don't mean to or don't know they're disrespecting Gangle, she seems to know too, but she sucks it up because she doesn't know how to "earn" help in either state, and the fear that a sudden surge of happiness will lead to a sudden great fall after solidifies the want to hide your "wrongness".

She is the very opposite of helpful here, but she tries her best, and having someone let her know it's ok for her to be around or have failed attempts to not bother those around her is all she needed to smile on her own face today. It doesn't fix everything, Zooble doesn't even correct her from saying she doesn't deserve their friendship, cause that's not something she will believe or needs to hear right now. She needs to know she still deserves and will get help and more tries, that there will still be people who will forgive and love her, that those who lose their patience with her right back will still want to spend time with her later.

The horrible ups and downs still haunt you, the long long journey to find the right treatment is exhausting, and it still won't ever get rid of all of it, but the episodes don't feel like their going on forever and always when someone will listen to you, wants to listen to you. Wants not just to help you, wants to spend time with you, wants you to be.

Also it is legitimately really funny to me she outright states she's going to weaponize her trauma to get back at Jax for his warcrimes lol. There isn't much out there better at making you feel less guilty about your mania than a legitimately evil person tbh. The manic episode having more seasons pun feels like something a bipolar person or someone who is trusted personally by a bipolar person would say, it legit made me giggle

[kaspermoon]

nothing feels better than seeing your weight go down

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[skullsemi]

Thanks to many thoughts, I ended up drawing again about that one concept idea of mine with baby Max and tired Goofy. Which it's about how difficult it was for Goofy at the beginning for a couple of reasons, and that Goofy only managed to occasionally take better care of himself with the help of his friends. Sure he's positive and optimistic in general, but I can't see he managing it all by himself alone.

[blorbofrommyshows]

god I wish there was someone arnd to bring me hot milk and cookies

[lucabyte]

pros and cons

[hollenka99]

"Odysseus when you come home, I'll be waiting. Even if you're the last thing I see, I'll be waiting."

"I'm right here, Mom. Can't you see I'm waiting? ...I took too long."

Jay, come here a second. I would like to have a word about why I'm silently bawling my eyes out at 1am because of Anticlea saying she will always love her son whom she died waiting for.

[erinwantstowrite]

okay so alighterwood started playing twisted wonderland which not only reminded me that i have to finish my twst wonderland jurrassic ayuu fic but ALSO gave me brain rot for Tim Drake in twisted wonderland do you see the vision. im looking directly into your eyes oh so autistically do you see my vision. im communicating telepathically do you see what i'm saying here

[a-nybodys]

next up in my lesbian visibility week series is the incomparable tracy chapman, of course

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[alice58]

i have no idea what a normal amount of f00d is

[daughter-of-a-hungry-ghost]

[notnights]

Gangle my girl...