#i will try to not take a whole week to finish the last piece(s)

[hinamie]

trick or treat!

[spotsspeciall]

Factory meetings - LN4

vol. 2

Lando Norris x fem!reader

summary: Lando makes a move to Red Bull for 2024 and you work in the Red Bull factory. You meet him, and he’s a dick. But something inside you, needs him. 

Notes: Shoutout to @f1goat and the “His teammate” series, for the inspiration!!  Fair warning, I'm talking alittle shit about McLaren, but I am a McLaren girly and It’s all lies, I mean nothing by it! I also made up some gibberish about the car, since I don’t know how everything really works haha. This was also longer than I expected, but I can honestly say I'm pretty proud of it.

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI. smut, unprotected (wrap it before you tap it folks!) p in v, pet names, language.

word count: 7.3k

masterlist

You had been working at the Red Bull factory in Milton Keynes for 2 years. After getting your degree in mechanical engineering, you grabbed the first opening in Red Bull. And now you had built your way up to your current position. 

You were sitting on the chair, staring at the little metal pieces in front of you. Trying to figure out the best way to puzzle them together, and make the most out of the car.

Your job was to plan, and build components in the car. And when you gained your current position at the factory, you helped with the success of the RB19. 

Working in the factory, you rarely met the drivers. They were here a lot for the simulator and meetings, but your paths rarely crossed. You didn’t need to have contact with the drivers, so you didn’t. Only seeing them from afar, when the whole factory came together for a meeting.

Monday morning, just over a week since the last race in Abu-dhabi, the RB19 had been a huge success. And you were working hard to finish the last details on the RB20 before the new season, working even harder than you did on the RB19. Trying to make the RB20 even better, as impossible as that sounds. 

You had a goodbye party for Checo on Friday, as he was retiring. And Christian Horner had announced that Lando Norris was taking his seat.

You had never met Lando, only seen him when you watched the races. And from what you had heard about him, he was kind of a dick. 

You and the other women working for Red Bull had formed a strong bond, you and the Red Bull media girl, Sophie, were basically best friends. And since she was on the track every race weekend, she had some encounters with Lando. 

She said he was constantly grumpy. He only cared about racing, and the fact that he hadn’t had a win yet, already being in McLaren for 5 years, it started taking a toll on him. 

He used to be a kind and sweet person. Loving to chat to people, and loving the interaction with his fans. He was just an all around loving guy. But when his fist win never came, and 

The McLaren car never got faster. He turned mean and angry, and stopped caring about anything other than racing. And when Christian gave him a nice offer to fill Checo’s seat, he jumped on it, no hesitation. 

You picked up your tools and started assembling the pieces again, to see if your mind had any ideas. 

You had your normal shitty Monday morning, and you didn’t have time to properly get ready. So you were sitting here in the Red Bull work clothes, your hair was up, but it had fallen out of your bun and was falling in your face, and you kept trying to pull it behind your ears. You didn’t have time for either makeup or to put your contacts in, so it was glasses today. But it wasn’t that bad, everyone saw you like this every Monday (and most other days too)

But what you didn’t know was that Lando was visiting the Factory today. To have a tour of the factory, and meet everyone working there. You didn’t hear the door open as you were staring a whole into the piece you just assembled. But you did hear your name being called. 

You turned around and met the eyes of Christian, but your eyes quickly looked over at the man standing beside him. You hurried to stand up and rip the gloves off your hands. Stretching out your hand to shake his. It seemed like he hesitated for a bit before shaking it, staring into your eyes the whole time. 

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you”

“Lando”

Yeah, he seemed pretty grumpy. 

As you pulled your hand away, Christian started explaining who you were, and what your job was. You didn’t know if Lando was even listening because he was still just staring at you. 

Christian then turned to you and asked you how the work was going. 

“Oh yeah!” You were blocking their view of the piece, so you turned to walk around the table to show them. 

You started explaining what the piece was and what your goal for it was, as you put on a new pair of gloves to show them the piece. 

Putting it back down, Lando looked back at you. A small smile had made its way to his lips. 

“Is that going in my car?”

“Well yeah, it’s going in both cars”

“But, I’ll only drive the car if you’re the one working on it” He was now smirking at you and turned to Christian. “I’m serious” His smirk was gone.

“Don’t worry Lando, I’ll make sure of it” He said with a smile as he patted his shoulder. “We should move on to look at the paint booths” 

As they headed towards the door, Lando turned around before he left. His face was unreadable, and he had a look in his eyes you had never seen. You had never been more confused, and it took you a while to get back into the right headspace for you to finally crack the code.

There were only a few days left before Christmas break, and you hadn’t seen Lando since that first time. 

Today had been a stressful day as you tried to do as much as you could in the little time you had left. You were standing in front of the computer, looking at the readings from a recent test, and there were a few numbers off. The frustration got to you, and you pulled off your glasses, rubbing the bride of your nose. Before you shoved the keyboard away and buried your face in your arms on the desk as you groaned in frustration. 

Lando had one last visit to the simulator before break. And before he left for the day, he decided to see if you were there. He was mesmerized by you when he first saw you. Your hair was falling in your face, and the glasses framed your face perfectly. He noticed that you had no makeup on, but you were absolutely breathtaking. And when you started talking about your work, he saw the passion in your eyes. He felt a small pull in his chest, and felt like his old happy self for just a moment when he looked at you. 

But it quickly disappeared, and he realized his new mission. He needed to have you. 

When he opened the door, he heard a groan as he saw your face land in your arms on the desk. The desk was quite high, and as you were bent over it, your ass was on display for him. 

He had to fight himself to not go right over and touch you. But he still walked over and leaned on the desk beside you.

“Something wrong baby?”

You quickly looked up, shocked that someone was in the room with you, and why were they calling you “baby”?

When you met Lando’s eyes, you rolled your own. You had already made up your mind about him, and you were not surprised he was acting like this. 

You heard a low chuckle coming from him as he saw you rolling your eyes. 

You leaned closer to him, really close. He could feel your breath.

“Don’t call me baby”

You could see he was a little shocked at the closeness, so you smirked to yourself and stretched your hand out to grab your glasses that had landed beside him. 

Leaning back, you put your glasses on. “And if you must know, I didn’t get the result I wanted” 

You pointed to the numbers on the screen. His mouth was slightly open as he still looked a little shocked, but he turned his head to look at the numbers. 

“I don’t know what any of the numbers mean” He turned to look at you.

You laughed before replying “Yeah, I know” 

After closing your front door and throwing yourself on the couch. You pulled up your phone and sent a text to your best friend Sophie. 

“Lando came by the Factory today and called me baby…”

She answered right away.

"BRO!"

“No way!”

“He’s probably trying to get in your pants”

“WHAT?”

“NO HE IS NOT”

“He’s probably just trying to get a reaction out of me”

“Why would he want to get in my pants when he has models drooling over him?”

“Stop it Y/N”

“You are literally drop dead gorgeous.”

“Lando wishes he could get you! But don’t let him use you like that!”

“hahahaha”

“You’re the best Sophie”

“But yeah, he will not be getting anywhere near these sexy pants!”

“YEAHHHH GIRL”

“go piss girl”

“hahaha”

Closing your phone, you laughed to yourself. And when you laid down in bed, and closed your eyes. You couldn’t help when your sleepy brain started thinking about him. 

You looked down. Seeing your naked body, tits jumping at the movement you were making. You saw your hands spread out on the lower abdomen of the man under you. You saw his hands groping your thighs, hips, tits. And when one of his hands traveled up to grab your jaw, you met his eyes. Lando. 

Waking up, you sat up in bed, hand flying to your jaw.

As your breathing calmed down, you realized the dream. Running the images through your head over and over again. And that's when you noticed just how turned on you were. Your panties totally soaked, and you felt hot.

Landing back in bed you groaned.

“Fuck you brain. That was so fucked up”

You rubbed your hands over your face before getting out of bed. Just a few more days of work before break. 

Your brain had sneaked in thoughts about Lando all through the break, much to your dismay. And he always showed up when you were close to an orgasm by your own hand. And one time, his name slipped out in a whisper. But you would try to deny yourself that it ever happened. 

And when it was time to go back to work, you felt like it had been long enough for you to forget everything, just praying you didn’t have to see him for a while.

And you were lucky for once. The end of January was nearing, and you had yet to see him. But you knew it was not long before you would.

The start of February was when the car was launching. And you had worked your ass off to finish the last bits, and the tests and readings were good, great even. 

There would be a reveal of the finished car in the factory, for all employees, before it was going to be a public launch. And you knew reveal day meant Lando. But you would be fine, all of the employees would be there, no way you would have any contact with him. 

And when the day finally arrived you were excited. The RB20 was going to be revealed, a car you helped make, and that was all you could focus on. 

You and Sophie were standing together up at the front of the crowd, looking at the car covered in a protective sheet. Christian got up beside the car and started his speech, and then he reached the moment where he introduced the two drivers for the team. Max Verstappen, the reigning world champion, and the new Lando Norris.

As he walked up beside the car, he was dressed in the Red Bull racing suit, and you couldn’t help but admire him in it. It wasn’t wrong to think the man looked good, incredibly good. You knew he was still an asshole, but you did have eyes. 

Max had his speech, and then it was Lando’s turn. It was a good speech, talking about how he was ready for something new, a more competitive car. He then started thanking the people working on the car, and he locked eyes with you, and held it until he was finished speaking. 

Lando and Max then lifted the sheet off the car to reveal it. And the crowd started clapping. You marveled at the car for a minute, feeling proud. But you felt his eyes on you. So you looked back at him, and you saw that stupid smirk on his face, he then had the audacity to give you a wink. You rolled your eyes at him, and when you looked back at him, he had a genuine smile on his face, and a glint in his eyes. And for just a moment, butterflies fluttered in your stomach, before you were interrupted with Christian speaking again.

You were standing in front of the car, looking down at it in admiration. The “party” had been moved to a different room, where food and drinks were served. And when you found a quiet moment, you slipped away to go look at the car. 

You were all alone as you squatted down to get a better look at the car, and the details of it. You couldn’t believe you had a hand in building it. This was Max’s car, with the big, red number 1 on it.

Standing back up, you felt a hand slide its way to your lower back. Shocked, you turned to look at the person beside you. Of course. Lando. 

He had that typical smirk on his face as he spoke to you in a low tone. 

“Hope you did a lot of work on my car too” “I was serious when I said I will only drive it if you have”

You rolled your eyes again, it was something he really brought out of you. 

“I have!” You put on some fake excitement in your tone. “I even put a little extra work into your car” You gave him a suggestive wink.

“Oh, so my car might be a little faster?” He said in a hushed tone, like you were sharing a secret. 

“Yeah” You nodded at him, and pointed to the car in front of you. “This is your car right?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “No, this is Max’s”

“Oh shit, guess I put it in the wrong car then” You shrugged your shoulders as you couldn’t hold your laughter anymore. 

You turned to walk away, leaving the hold he still had on your lower back. The place where his hand had been was burning hot. And when he saw you taking quick steps to get away, he hurried to follow after you. 

“Baby, that was not nice” He said with a small pout as he finally caught up with you. 

You stopped in your tracks. “I told you to stop calling me that” 

“Oh you look cute when you’re angry” His amusement was clear on his face. 

If you weren’t angry before, you sure were now. You groaned as you started walking away from him again. And before you entered the door to the party, he shouted to you.

“Can’t wait to see you again soon baby!” You could hear the grin on his face. But you just opened the door and walked inside, hoping to not see him for the rest of the night.

Just a week after, you were back at work, looking over some data on the computer, when you heard a knock at the door, and then it opened and closed. 

Turning around, you were met with Christian. “Oh hey Christian!” “Wasn't expecting you to be here!”

He smiled at you, “I am here to ask if you’re free to have a meeting in my office?”

“Right now?”

He looked down at the expensive watch around his wrist. “Yes”

“Um, yeah sure!” “I’m just going to-” You trailed off as you pressed a few buttons on the computer, before turning it off and walking towards Christian. “Shall we?”

Sitting down in the chair opposite his desk, it all started to become a little intimidating. You waited for him to speak as he looked at a few papers, before lifting his head and meeting your eyes. 

“Y/N” “First, I want to formally thank you for your work on the RB19. You made the car what it was. Great work” “And I also want to thank you for the work you’ve put into the RB20. I know it will be even better than the 19” He smiled at you, and you smiled back as you nodded, silently thanking him for his words. 

He continued, “I have been talking with Lando Norris, and after he had a test in the car, and felt how it worked. And after he also saw how you worked on it, he has asked for you to be his no.1 mechanic.” He paused, waiting for your response.

“No.1 mechanic? as in, at every race, in the garage, being the head mechanic on his car?” You were shocked, confused.

“Yes.” He gave you a warm smile. “When he suggested it, I totally agreed.” “It would be a perfect job for you, and with all the work you have put in, the least I can do for you is to give you a chance to be with the car at every race.” “So, do you want the job?”

You didn’t even think about the fact that Lando was the one to suggest the job for you. You just focused on the fact that you could be the no.1 mechanic. 

“Yes” “Yes I do.” A big smile grew on your face.

“Perfect!” Christian clapped his hands together, and picked up the papers he previously looked at. “Take the time you need to read through them before signing” 

Taking the papers in your hands, you read through it. And everything looked perfect. So you signed where you needed to. And handed the papers back to Christian. 

“Thank you so much for this opportunity!” “I can’t wait to get started” You couldn’t stop smiling.

“Good!” “Can’t wait to see you on the track”

He then told you the plan heading forwards. You had plenty of meetings coming up. You needed to know what to expect in the garage. And you had a few meetings with the people working in the garage. And after all of that was finished, you were headed to the pre-season testing in Bahrain. 

Arriving in Bahrain, you felt prepared. And you were even more happy to finally join Sophie at work, as you walked into the garage together. 

Testing had been going pretty great so far, you only needed to do a few tweaks on the car to see if the performance was different. 

On the other end, Lando had been tolerable. He had his usual flirty, teasing persona around you. But now that you worked together in a small garage, he had toned it down a bit, much to your pleasure. 

But when you got a moment alone, he always sneaked up on you and rested his hand on your lower back, called you baby, and did everything to annoy you. Much to your frustration.

You had been single for a few years. And you hadn’t slept with too many people after. But now it had been a really long time since last. Too busy at work to even care, but you were growing more and more pent up and frustrated. And this asshole resting his hand on your lower back was not helping. It was also not helping that he looked drool worthy all the time.

What was helping, was the fact that he was just that, an asshole. But you had no excuse for yourself when you were alone at night, and you just stopped caring. It made you cum fast, and you were happy with that. So you kept thinking about him every time, while whispering his name under your breath. 

It was the fourth race of the season, and you were in Japan. The previous races were good to Lando, who had gotten a podium on each one, but no win yet. But he was good in Japan, he knew this could be the one.

It was early on Thursday, and when Lando walked into the garage, he found you working on the car, alone. 

You were so focused as you lay bent over the nose of the car, trying to screw something that was in a tricky position. When Lando saw the sight of you like that, bent over, legs spread, he felt his dick twitch. 

He quickly turned his head to look around for the sign of any people, seeing no one, he walked up to you, close enough so your feet were almost touching. Looking down at you, he noticed you still didn’t know he was there, so he cleared his throat to get your attention. 

When you heard the sound, it spooked you, and you went to stand up from the compromising position you were in. But you didn’t know someone was standing right behind you. So when you lifted yourself off the car, your ass hit something, someone. You felt a pair of strong hands grab onto your hips to stabilize the both of you, as your back was now flush against his chest. When you looked down at his hands, you saw his watch and bracelets and immediately knew who it was. 

You heard a low groan coming from him, right by your ear. And you felt a bulge grow right where your ass was resting against his crotch. You panicked, and shoved yourself back to knock his balance off so he would get off you. When he did, you turned around to look at him with anger in your eyes.

“What the fuck was that Norris!?”

You didn’t even let him answer before you turned to storm out. Two reasons why. First, you were flustered and could feel your face heat up, and you did not want him to see that. Second, feeling his hands hold your waist, and the bulge grow in his pants, you were already soaked and horny beyond belief, and you did not want to be around him in a state like that. 

Lando stood there, a little shocked, and flustered. He pulled his hoodie down to try and cover up the bulge in his pants, as he headed towards his driver room.

It was time for a car check. And you were picking up the steering wheel to put it in the car. When you turned back around to go over to the car, you saw him.

Lando was standing in his seat, and you watched him lower himself into the seat, holding onto the halo with a tight grip.

You almost dropped the steering wheel in your hand, as your eyes focused on his hands. You had to literally shake your head to get back to the right headspace.

You walked over to the car, and looked down at Lando looking around the cockpit, trying to get in a comfortable position. After he found it, he looked up and his eyes met yours.

His eyes were shining from the lighting on the ceiling. And the feeling that arose was butterflies hidden by anger. Why the fuck was he so breathtaking, but also such a dick. Fuck him. 

You clenched your jaw as you kept eye contact with him. 

“You gonna hand me the steering wheel love?” There was that stupid smirk again.

You narrowed your eyes at him in anger, and handed him the wheel. He clicked it in place, and looked back up at you and told you something he wanted changed on the car. 

Luckily for you, when he started talking about the car, you went straight into work mode. Not a single thought about Lando in your brain. (Only far in the back)

He pointed to show you something that was underneath the steering wheel, right over where his legs rested. And you couldn’t see it. So you stepped farther towards the back of the car, to see it more from his angle. You grabbed a stepping stool that was standing close by, and leaned over the halo. You face resting just beside his. 

“What was it again?” You asked him, surprisingly calm, but the working Y/N was in control right now.

He pointed again, and started explaining it. And you stretched a hand out to point to it as well, making sure you understood each other. 

Lando didn’t expect you to get that close. And when you stretched your hand out and got even closer, he turned to look at you.

You felt his hot breath on the side of your face, and you could tell in your peripheral that he was looking at you. So you turned to look at him. Your faces so close that your noses almost touched. 

But somehow, you kept your cool. “I can fix that for you Lando, you just need to get out of the car.” You smiled innocently at him as you leaned back and stepped away. 

When he stepped out, you got your tools ready and lowered yourself into the seat, needing to sit there to get the best access.

As you worked away, Lando stood by the side of the car, arms folded against his chest. There was something going on in his body that he couldn’t recognise. He was still feeling the effects of what happened with the two of you earlier. But there was something different there as well.

On Sunday, you found yourself standing in front of the mirror in the public bathroom. It was not long before race start. And you were staring at yourself in the mirror.

You were angry, frustrated and way too fucking horny. Last night, you caved, again. Imagining your fingers were his. You used it as a way of getting the anger out, and it worked. 

But your brain was on overdrive and everything was threatening to boil over. Looking at yourself, you took a deep breath and nodded to yourself, heading back out, ready for work, trying to ignore everything and hoping it would be fine. 

You were sitting on the pit wall, as you watched them line back up on the grid after the formation lap. And Lando lined his car up on P1. Max lined up in P4, unlucky in Q3.

The race start was good, the top 5 drivers staying as is. Lando keeping the lead until halfway in the race, Lando boxed to get new tires. And when he moved his way back up the grid again, you heard his voice coming on the radio.

“Something is wrong.”

“The gears are not working properly”

You turned to Lando’s race engineer sitting to your right. You nodded at him, and he nodded back, a silent exchange you both understood. 

He contacted Lando to tell him he was looking into it, and would update him as fast as possible. 

You looked at as much of the data as you could, as fast as you could. And there you found it. Between all the numbers and graphs, there was one thing off. 

You contacted the race engineer on the radio, and pointed to the mark on the screen. He saw it, and you both knew the solution. Luckily an easy one, as he only needed to press a few buttons on the steering wheel to change modes. 

The race engineer nodded at you again, but this time, in a way that signaled you to tell Lando. So you did.

“Lando, mode 6, and give it 3.8”

“Understood”

“Thanks Y/N”

You felt like you could hear a smile on his face, but probably not. Right?

When you looked back at the data, you saw everything was fine. And not long after, Lando radioed back to say it was good, and he was ready to get back to the chase.

And he did just that, climbing his way back up. Lucky for him, Max had pitted not long after Lando, making Lando ahead of Max in the race. 

You were anxious for the last few laps. He had gotten back into P1, and had made a reasonable gap back to the driver behind him. 

The screams you heard on the radio as he crossed the line first, almost made you deaf for a minute. And you had a big smile on your face as you celebrated with the crew on the pit wall, proud of the car you helped in making. 

You had gotten the car back to the garage after watching the podium. You, and two other mechanics were pulling the protective sheet over the car. You tried to keep your mind focused on the task at hand, but the image of Lando getting champagne poured on him was seared into your brain. But when you were done with everything, thanking the mechanics before you stepped back. You heard someone entering the garage. 

In walked Lando, soaked in champagne and still dressed in his racing suit that was hanging around his hips. When he saw you, he actually smiled. And seeing him like that, you couldn’t help the heat settling in your core.

He almost ran over to you and wrapped his arms around your hips. He lifted you with him in a tight hug, your feet far above the ground, you had to grab onto his shoulders for support. 

“There’s my no.1 mechanic!” 

His voice was muffled as his face was resting directly against your boobs. 

And when you squeezed his shoulders in reaction, he looked up at you as he still held you tight. You couldn’t get any words out. But as he looked up at you, he smiled. A genuine, lovely smile. But something else was shining in his eyes, and his pupils dilated. 

He felt you started to slip out of his arms, so he readjusted his grip. He got a firm hold on your ass, and when you felt it, everything boiled over.

“Let. Me. The Fuck. Down.” “Now.”

The mechanics stood there in confusion until they heard that. They shared a look, and hurried to leave the garage. Avoiding you screaming at Lando.

Lando heard the threatening tone in your voice, and he immediately lowered you to the ground. 

When he stood back to look at you, he opened his mouth to say something. But you were quicker.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME NORRIS? YOU CAN’T JUST LIFT ME UP LIKE THAT! AND NOT TO MENTION WHAT HAPPENED THURSDAY MORNING! YOU’RE MAKING ME GO CRAZY!” You basically screamed at him, with your finger pointing at him in anger. But you weren’t finished. 

“You’re the one who wanted me to have this job, and you’re usually rude and mean, but then you’re teasing me and acting all flirty?!” “You’re so fucking confusing!” 

Your brain had exploded at his point. Every feeling that had been pent up for so long, finally boiled over. And since everything hit you, you felt yourself grow wetter and wetter by the second. You let out a heavy breath and lifted your hands to hold onto your head in frustration. 

Lando had just taken it all, with his eyebrows lifted in shock. He was making you go crazy? His mind was running, what did you mean? He didn’t know what to do, what to say. But then he saw the small movement you made, and the look on your face. A smirk making its way to his face as his eyes got even darker. 

While in your frustration, your body just acted for you. And as you were standing there, looking anywhere but at him, your face red and hot, your whole body on fire. Your thighs squeezed together for some desperate neediness for something, anything. 

And when that caught Landos eyes, he took two long steps towards you. His arms wrapping around you, the palms of his hands resting on the top of your ass. 

When he was suddenly in front of you, so close. You dropped your hands in shock, and just stared into his eyes, then his lips. They were slightly parted, and you saw the quick moment his tongue darted out to lick his lips. Before you quickly looked back into his eyes, cursing yourself for the moment of weakness. 

When you locked eyes again, his eyes were dark, looking down at you. Lando had no patience left. He shoved your body hard, into himself. You chests touching, and the grip he had on your ass, where he was holding you tight against him, you felt almost every detail of his already growing bulge through his pants. If you weren’t soaked already, you sure were now. 

You had no control when you let out a small moan at the contact, and that was all Lando wanted, and needed to hear, as he leaned down to capture your lips in an aggressive kiss.

It was like he was hungry, starving for you. And Lando had wanted you since he first saw you, and with the months that had passed, it all came crashing down at the same time.

The kiss was messy, teeth clashing and rough. But you loved it, feeling another moan slip out of your throat.

As you moaned, Lando took the chance and slipped his tongue inside your mouth, your own immediately tangling with his. It was harsh, but so full of passion. His hands were guiding your hips in a way that gave him some much needed friction. And when your hands slid up to grab onto the hair at the back of his neck, he let out a low groan. 

You couldn’t take it anymore, and you pulled on his hair, so you disconnected. Your breathing was heavy as you looked up at him. He was breathing heavy too, and his lips were wet, and slightly red. His pupils blown wide. God, he looked so fucking good, you almost wanted to go back to being angry at him. just because of how hot he was. But you didn’t, he spoke before you could do anything.

“Shit, I need you.” His eyes darted all across your face, looking for any type of reaction. “Please”

He looked so desperate, and he sounded even more desperate. He was begging you. 

Fuck it, you needed this too. “Your driver room” “Now”

He was quick to grab your hand and pull you after him.

When you finally entered his driver room behind him, he turned around and closed the door behind you. And when he turned back around, he took long steps towards you, until your lips met again. 

Neither of you could control the sounds coming from the both of you. His hands were everywhere, grabbing onto what he could. You hands found his hair again, grabbing it, earning a sweet sound from him. 

He walked the both of you backwards until the backs of your legs hit the small couch. He spun the both of you around, he sat down and pulled you to sit on top of him. 

When you sat down, Lando looked down to where your hips met as his grip on your ass moved your hips, grinding yourself onto him. You lifted both of your hands to hold onto the sides of his face, and made him look at you.

When Lando looked at you, you almost took his breath away. Your cheeks were tinted pink, and your lips were open, breathing heavily. Some of your hair had fallen in your face and your eyes were shining as you looked at him, he swore, you were a goddess. His hands slid up to hold on to your waist, and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth in a way to try and control himself. But he lost it the second you whispered.

“Just fuck me already”

His hands immediately found the hem of your Red Bull shirt and pulled it over your head. You understood the signal and stood up from his lap and went to pull your pants off, as he pulled the fireproof shirt over his head. 

You were standing in front of him in only your underwear as you looked at him hurrying to pull his race suit and the fireproofs of his legs. When he finally did, he looked up at you, and you swore you could see his dick twitch in his gray boxers. 

Your confidence grew in you, so you went to take your bra off. When it hit the floor, you could hear him muttering under his heavy breath “Fuck”. Next, you hooked your thumbs in the waistband of your panties and slowly pulled them down. 

It had been awhile since the last time someone saw you naked, but with the reaction Lando was giving you, his eyes looking at you like you were a goddess. It made you feel beautiful, and so powerful. So you stepped forward until you were right in front of him. His eyes kept shifting from your face to your tits. 

You sat down in his lap again, your knees resting beside his hips, and your core just barely touching the outline of his dick in his boxers. When you leaned down to capture his lips again, you lowered your hips until you felt his covered dick resting between your folds. And because of the much needed friction you got. You moaned into his mouth. 

The kiss was much slower and careful than before, frustration replaced by the need to really taste each other. His hands had found a tight hold on your hips, as he tried to guide them to move. 

“Baby, you’re soaked” He said as he looked down at where you were resting above him.

Lifting your hips, you saw that his boxers were absolutely soaked because of you. And you felt your face heat up even more. 

“Fuck, I can’t wait anymore” “You reckon you’re ready to take me?”

He looked up at you, and you felt stunned. Just nodding wildly at him, his smirk grew. He looked down again, and pulled his boxers down enough to free his dick. Springing free, it hit his abdomen. You stared down, bewildered. How was he supposed to fit?

His hands found your hips again, and he guided them to rest right above him. One of his hands wrapped around his dick, and he moved his hands up and down a few times, as he looked up at you. You were staring down at his hand wrapped around himself, and you felt your pussy clench, waiting to finally have him inside of you. 

He moved his dick so the tip was resting against your hole. Looking up at him, he still had that smirk on his face. 

“Think you can handle it?” 

You didn’t reply before you dropped your hips down until he bottomed out inside of you. His pelvis hitting your clit. You both moaned simultaneously. The stretch was a lot, he was big, and you hadn’t had a dick in you for ages. But God it felt so good. 

Lando swore no one had been able to fit around him so perfectly, and when you took all of him, he felt you clench around him, almost holding him in. He felt another moan slip out of him. His mouth was hanging open in awe as he looked at you. Your head was tipped back, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

“Shit, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted you” He almost whispered.

He slid a hand up to hold on to the side of your face, tipping it down to make you look at him. And his other hand gave your hip a squeeze. 

“Please move”

You didn’t have to make him beg for you, he just did on his own. Was he really this weak for you?

A smirk grew on your face as you wanted to know just how weak he was. You just grinded your hips slowly, and you watched his face as his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. You kept your small movements up, but he tried to lift your hips up and down on him. But you were stubborn, and you didn’t budge. 

Your hands grabbed onto his shoulders, as the movement was so good for you. Your clit getting friction everytime you moved back and forth. Your breath coming out in whimpers. 

You closed your eyes again, but opened them when you felt his hand on your face again. The look on his face was pleading. 

“Please baby.” “I need more” His voice was so soft and sweet, and you couldn’t help the smile on your lips. 

“Say it again.”

“Please please please please baby”

His hands were running up and down your torso as his eyes were locked on yours.

You gave in and moved your hips up to slam them back down. And the groan that made its way out of lando could’ve made you cum already.

You couldn’t hold back anymore, as you kept up the rhythm, riding him with your hands gripping his shoulders. His hands slid around to your ass and grabbed a hold as he helped you move up and down on his dick, and his hips moved up to meet yours. 

You knew the door to the driver room was pretty thin, so you bit your bottom lip to try and hold back some of the sounds threatening to escape. Lando noticed, and snaked a hand around to circle his thumb around your clit. He saw it on your face, the effect it had on you. But he also felt it, as you got even tighter around him. You didn’t moan from it, but he sure did. 

You were so focused as you tried to keep quiet, but with the added pleasure it was so difficult, also because of the sounds he was making.

“Come on baby, let me hear you” He said in a low tone, as he was looking up at you.

That broke you. And he got the sounds from you that he desperately needed to hear. 

As you looked down at him, you saw his eyebrows scrunched together as he was staring at himself disappearing inside you, and his mouth was hanging open. You lifted one of your hands and ran it through the wet curls on the top of his head, still soaked in champagne and sweat. 

You grabbed a hold of them and pulled his head back to make him look at you. All of the feelings you had for him came rising to the surface, just as you felt your climax closing in. The feelings of anger and frustration. So with gritted teeth, you spoke.

“Fuck you.”

He enjoyed that.

“You already are sweetheart.”

You gave in and sped up your rhythm. And his thumb moved faster and his grip on your ass tightened. Your hand slid down to cradle his jaw. You ran your thumb across the facial hair growing on his chin, before you pulled him in for a searing kiss before your climax hit like a brick wall. 

You disconnected from the kiss and tipped your head back, eyes screwed shut, as your vision was going white, and you whispered a quiet “Fuck, Lando” as you came. 

Lando felt you tighten around him as you came, and he looked up at you, mesmerized, as he saw your face contourting as you came around him. And he followed right after, coming inside you. 

You felt him filling you up, and his thumb had slowed down, but was still rubbing soft circles helping you come down from your orgasm. After a few seconds of catching your breath, as he did the same, you opened your eyes to look at him again, and he was already looking at you. The ghost of a gorgeous smile on his face. 

His hands rested on your thighs, and his thumb rubbing soft circles again. Neither of you said anything, you just looked at each other.

“You’re going to be the death of me” 

He was whipped.

Notes: I realized this could be made into a series or something. So let me know if you want more!! Thank you for reading<3

[fetusgooseandjuice]

Approval

Pairing(s): Kate Bishop x Fem!Reader

Summary: When the time comes for Kate to finally meet your dad, she is a nervous wreck.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None? Just a whole lot of fluff! Not proofread.

Authors Note: The beginning of this had been sitting in my drafts collecting dust so I finally decided to make something out of it. I don’t think it’s my best work but I hope you guys like it!

After finishing the last few touch ups to your makeup you made your way out of the bathroom, happy and content with how your outfit looked.

The scent of your body wash still lingered on your skin as you were freshly showered, your hair was styled to perfection, and you were clad in one of your favorite dresses that you know your girlfriend loves just as much.

Tonight was a very special night for you and Kate. The two of you were attending an event, but not just any event.

Kate would finally be meeting your dad for the first time.

She’s met your mom and brother as well as a few cousins on occasion since the two of you have been dating for almost half a year. However, she’s never had the chance to be introduced to your dad.

Between Kate’s avenger duties and your dad’s job, schedules haven’t always lined up.

Your dad had always been a very busy person since you were young with him being the CEO of a well-known company. Him having to leave for a week or two sometimes for business trips wasn’t unusual as his job keeps him on his toes.

So unfortunately he’s not always home, but when given the opportunity to take time off to be with his family, he does.

Like tonight.

Your family was having their annual holiday party and your dad was coming home to attend, so it’s safe to say Kate would be taking this very seriously.

Hence, why when you walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, you were met with a very frustrated looking Kate standing in front of the mirror hanging on the closet door.

She had a frown on her face as she held a tie in each hand, alternating holding one tie up to her collar, then the other.

You watched her from the doorway for a few moments. During that time, she switched back and forth between ties probably about eight times before you noticed her growing more upset, so you decided to step in.

Walking behind her, you placed your hands on her shoulders and gave them a comforting squeeze. She didn’t seem phased by your presence, seemingly still stuck in her head with her current predicament.

“What’s got you looking so upset, hm?” you asked as you gazed at her face through the reflection in the mirror. “You’ve been standing here with a frown on your face since I came out of the bathroom, and who knows how long you’ve been here before that.”

Kate let out a big sigh and met your eyes in the mirror as she gestured to one of the ties, “This one seems like it would be too much,” she held up the other option, “And this one is just plain and simple, but it might be the safer option.”

She stared into the mirror once more, “I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying too hard, but I also don’t want to seem boring.” she said.

Your expression softened as you turned your head to look at her side profile, “Which one do you like with this suit more?”

Kate tilted her head as she contemplated one last time before holding up her final choice, “This one.”

Taking the chosen piece of fabric from her hand, you spun her around to face you and draped the tie around her neck as you began to tie it.

“You don’t think I should go with the other one? What if I just go without it? Or would that make me look too informal?” she rambled, hesitancy evident in her voice.

You looked up to meet her eyes with a comforting smile, “I think you should wear whatever you want to wear.” you said, focusing back on the task at hand. “I also don’t think he’s going to judge you based off of the pattern on your tie, or if you choose not to wear one at all.”

Kate looked at you with masked surprise, but you’ve been with her long enough to be able to see right through her and read her like a book.

“I know you’ve been acting as if meeting him isn’t making you anxious, but I know you.” you said. “If I didn’t know before, I definitely know now since I just witnessed you almost pop a forehead vein over a tie.” you giggled and you heard your girlfriend chuckle too.

“You can relax, Kate, you’re gonna be okay. He’s not a monster.”

Your girlfriend sighed and lightly laughed, “It’s just—”, she started but stopped herself. You gave her a moment to collect her thoughts.

“Getting his approval is really important to me because he’s your dad, you know? He’s really important to you.” she explained and you nodded, letting her know that you were listening.

“So I wanna show him that I’m fit to be dating his daughter and if my outfit will help me make a good first impression, I want to wear a nice one.”

Your heart nearly bursted at her confession and your eyes lifted to meet hers in a loving gaze.

“Oh, Katie,” The pure sincerity on her face was overwhelming enough to make you fall for the tall brunette standing in front of you all over again.

“I love you, so he automatically has no choice but to like you because we both know you don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.”

You tightened the accessory around her neck and smoothed down her suit jacket. Your hand came up to caress the side of her face with your thumb, “I’ll be there the whole time. It’ll be okay.”

Kate reached to hold your hand on her cheek in hers and turned to kiss your palm. “Why do you always make everything so much easier?”

“It’s what I do.” you giggled, and she smiled before leaning in to press her lips to yours in a tender kiss.

Neither of you wanted to pull away until you had to, so you finally separated once air became a necessity instead of a suggestion.

Kate rested her forehead against yours and gazed into your eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled softly in return, “Ready to go now?”

She took a deep breath before nodding her head confidently, “Let’s go,”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When you arrived the party was in full swing. It was loud with chattering people and an occasional laugh while they sipped on drinks.

You’d already run into your brother and a few other family members who stopped to give you a hug and say hi, greeting Kate in the process too.

It wasn’t very long before you saw your mom making her way over to you with a contagious smile plastered on her face that you easily returned.

“Y/n, you finally made it!” once she was within arms reach she pulled you into a tight hug. “You look so beautiful, honey.” she said as she kissed the crown of your head.

Hugging her back, you giggled, “Thanks, mom. You look amazing too, and the place looks great.”

“Well thank you, darling. And I see you brought Kate!”

She pulled back to address your girlfriend who held out her hand with a kind smile at the mention of her name.

“It’s good to see you again, Mrs. Y/l/n.” Kate said.

Your mom glanced down at her outstretched hand and playfully rolled her eyes, “Oh please, Kate, none of that formal stuff you know that come here.”

Kate was pulled into the same tight embrace you’d been pulled into just moments prior, and she happily reciprocated.

You smiled as you watched two of the most important people in your life easily fall into conversation.

But as you scanned the vicinity of the venue you realized there was one person you had yet to see since you got here.

“Hey, mom? Is dad here?” you wondered.

Hearing the question she went to look around for him as well, but there was no need to when you saw the man in question appear behind your mom with a glass in hand.

“Did someone ask for me?” he said with a grin on his face.

Kate broke into a small smile seeing your face light up. The view calming the nerves she was suddenly feeling just a little bit.

“Dad, hey!” you greeted cheerfully.

He held his arms open in invitation and you gladly moved into them to give him a hug. “Hey, sweetheart. How have you been?”

You stepped back to return to your girlfriend’s side. You’d noticed how nervous she became at the presence of your father.

“I’ve missed you, but I’ve been okay and I have someone I’d like you to meet.” you answered and watched his eyes flicker over to the girl beside you. “Dad, this is my girlfriend Kate, and Kate, this is my dad.”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Mr. Y/l/n. Y/n’s told me so much about you it feels like I already know you.” Kate chuckled and held out her hand for him to shake, but she almost took it back now noticing how clammy it was.

She didn’t want your dad to have to shake her sweaty hand.

You watched as his lips pulled into a tight smile, “Likewise”, he glanced down at her hand, but never made a move to take it. “I’ve heard a lot about you too. ” he said.

Kate was clearly very nervous at this point, judging by the way she dropped her hand and you watched her shakily wipe them on her pants. But she kept a smile on face and tried to keep the conversation flowing.

“I-I hope she’s told you all good things?”

Your dad gave a nod of his head as he eyed her down, “The best.”

Silence fell and as you looked between the two it was almost painful how awkward the atmosphere seemed to be now.

Your dad reached out to brush off the shoulder of her jacket, and deciding to help girlfriend you took her hand and squeezed it, “How about we all—”

“Let me talk to you for a second, Kate.” your dad interrupted you to speak to her.

“Dad—”

“It’s okay, Y/n.” Kate looked at you with a reassuring eyes.

You searched them for hesitancy, but she was determined to get him to like her. Yes, your dad did look a little intimidating, but she wasn’t going to be scared away so easily. You nodded and let go of her hand to watch her follow your dad out of sight.

“I’m sure he just wants to get to know her. You know how parents are, honey.” your mom reassured and you nodded.

She was probably right.

Kate followed your dad through the crowd and shoved her hands in her pockets when she was led outside onto the balcony, sheltering them from the chilly air.

“Listen, Mr. Y/l/n, I know it’s late that I’m just now meeting you after being with Y/n for half a year, but I can assure you I would never hurt her. She means too much to me for me to do that.”

Your dad just blinked at her for a moment before speaking, “Kate, do you know that Y/n’s my only daughter?”

The archer nodded her head and he took that as the go-ahead to continue.

“Her entire life her protection has been mine and my wife’s responsibility, and our responsibility only.

Kate didn’t exactly know where this was going, so she just opted to listen.

“And for the first time in her life we have to hand that responsibility over to someone else.” he said before taking a couple steps closer to the tall brunette.

“I know what kind of work you do and I know what all can happen, so I need to know that I’m able trust you, Kate.”

She should’ve known that this would come up. Her job isn’t usual by any means and she knows there are risks. Of course your dad would be skeptical about you dating someone like her.

“I understand your concerns, Mr. Y/l/n. I can promise you that what happens out in the field stays there, we take precautions to make that happen. And you should know that I’d never let anything happen to your daughter. I just want to make her happy because she makes me so happy that it’s the least I could do for her. I love Y/n, so I promise I’ll do everything I can to keep her safe.”

This was the first time she had seen your dad look at her with any expression that wasn’t a glare since meeting him, and it lifted all the weights off of her shoulders.

He held out his hand with a soft smile, “Welcome to the family, Kate. I look forward to seeing you more often. Love the tie by the way.”

You were standing at the bar, waiting on a drink when Kate finally spotted you again. She made her way over to you and placed her hand on the small of your back gently to not startle you.

Recognizing the touch instantly you turned to face her, “Hey, I got you your favorite.” you said just as the bartender placed the drinks down in front of you.

“Oh thank you, my love.” she looked at you gratefully and took a sip of her drink. It was much needed after the stress of tonight.

“How did it go? Is everything okay? He didn’t threaten you did he?”

Kate chuckled at the ramble of questions before shaking her head, “No, he didn’t threaten me. And it went amazing. Everything is perfectly fine.”

Her words made you smile happily and you leaned in to give her a quick loving kiss, pulling away with a giggle and teasing look when she went to lean in for another.

“Told you it would be.”

~ end ~

[cloudyeventss]

I thought I try my hand at writing a little story about being 141's assistant. I'm not sure where I'm taking this or even if I should continue. Let me knoww but be sweet. This is literally my first attempt at writing anything

Warnings~ cussing, slightly anxious ? Idk

Y/n pov

He's staring right at me. Slouching slightly to his left, strands of blue dyed hair peeking out underneath his hat. He clearly hasn't been sleeping, I can see the dark circles under his eyes. I don't think I’ve seen him blink once. This is too much. Too fucking much I'm starting to fidget with the belt of my purse, shifting back n forth trying to ease my nerves. I'm overwhelmed and overestimated. This bus smells worse than a gas station bathroom, it doesn't help it’s hotter than the damn desert in here, my sweater is starting to itch and the constant sound of the buses bell going off is enough to make my head explode. GOD why did my car have to break down today? sweat is beading my forehead I feel nauseous. GOD DOES THIS MAN EVER BLINK?!? *ding* fuck finally my stop. I've never been more relieved in my life to leave somewhere... stepping outside I feel like I can breathe again not by much though, last night, laying in bed i got a call from my father's friend Laswell telling me to meet her at a Cafe not too far from my home. Usually, I wouldn't be so nervous to see her, being Laswell and my father worked together for the past 10 years. She’s been around quite a few times but this time She spoke about a potential job opportunity as an assistant overseas. I'm not even sure I heard her right, i was a bottle deep into Apothic red wine. Nothing special but drink enough it’ll knock you on your ass. I've been anxious ever since. After finishing my associates degree in mind and body psychology, I wasn't sure I wanted to continue with school. Maybe I just need a break, but I also need a job. I take one final deep breath to attempt to calm my nerves as I wipe my sweaty palms down my jeans. Okay now’s the time to be confident y/n don't freak out .....

There she is sitting with her back against the wall right in between both exits like always. I'd say she's paranoid but with the work she does it's more justifiable. Laswell stands to greet me "Y/n , it's great to see you!" She moves to sit, and I follow. " it's good to see you too Kate, it's been awhile" . Lunch goes by smoothly; it always was easy falling into conversation with her. A red headed waitress with long legs and black trim glasses drops us our check before walking off to tend to her other tables. My eyes follow her as she passes, she's one of those girls who are effortlessly beautiful. Laswell gains my attention again " so your father tells me you are looking for work"

" I am"

"I could use someone I trust"

"Tell me more"

.....

It'd been two weeks since I met with Laswell, and I accepted the job offer. She explained it mainly consist of filing paperwork and doing whatever task ask of me, running errands, and so on. Kate didn't really give me any details of who I'd work for, just that it was four men she trusted with her life and assured me I'd be in good hands. Today's the day I get on a plane and uproot my whole life. I spent every bit of yesterday taking care of last-minute arrangements. I sold my piece of shit Honda to some high school kid . I almost felt bad for taking his money, but I told him of its issues. In a way I'ma miss Johnny. I named my car after a porn star, Johnny Sins. Ha. It still makes me chuckle . My honda wasn't much, but it always got me where I needed to be hints the name. After taking care of my car I went to see my father. He graciously agreed to look after my apartment for me while I was gone. We spent the rest of the evening watching old westerns on TV and saying our goodbyes.

.....

It's only four hours into the flight, and I'm already regretting my decision. I've spent most of the time in the bathroom emptying my stomach while avoiding angry knocks on the door. The taste of bile in my mouth makes me a little less caring about the people outside. Deciding I can't spend the rest of the flight in the bathroom, I pick myself off the floor and do my best to rinse my mouth. Flying has never sat right with me. I like my feet on the ground instead of tempting God. Regardless, I have to tough it out, its not like I can get them to land now. I walk out the restroom, mumbling hushed, apologizes, and take my seat. Just six more hours.. you got this y/n.

[thesightstoshowyou]

🩸BLOODFEST🩸

Week 1

Prompts: Fire. Wound(s). Suburbs. Bondage

Keywords: Acrid. Malignant

Au Courant

(Part 1)

Asa Emory x AFAB Reader

Summary: Meeting your soulmate doesn’t quite go as you’d hoped.

Warnings: Soulmate AU, angst

~ Aeons ago, I answered this ask and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. So, here’s a fic ~

~~

Ding.

The automatic bell above the door chimes as you enter. The grocery store bustles with activity, people fresh from work hurrying to finish their shopping before returning to their sleepy suburbs. It’s barely-controlled chaos.

Retrieving a basket, you check the post-it note list in your pocket. Just a few things.

Aisle 3 first.

You’re slower than the rest as you scan the shelves, eyes unfocusing at random, the different brands of aluminum foil failing to hold your attention. Your mind is elsewhere.

Shelly found her soulmate today.

You knew the moment she walked into the office this morning. The sparkling eyes, the lovesick grin, they way she seemed to float with each step; it’s a look you’ve seen on others before. So, so many others.

Try as you might, you had not been able to avoid her for long. Pairs, as they’re called, could never keep it to themselves for long, seemingly intent on torturing you with their newfound wholeness.

They’d met on the train. She’d been running late and had to take a later line than usual. It was fate, she said. They never would have met otherwise.

Blah, blah, blah. You wanted to puke.

Everyone in your office had found their soulmate, one way or another. Everyone but you. Shelly was the last, the only coworker to whom you could relate. Now, you’re alone in more ways than one.

It would happen, they all told you. One day, your eyes would meet theirs and you would feel it: That spark, that final puzzle piece snapping into place, that pure feeling of absolute plenitude. It’s not something you could comprehend until you felt it, they said.

They’d meant to help, to give you hope, but their words only served to deepen the wounds of isolation. The malignant ache of loneliness festers a little more every year you go without meeting your other half. You’ve almost resigned yourself to a life of solitude.

It has been known to happen. Some unfortunate people go their whole lives without meeting their soulmate. It’s heart wrenching to see them out and about, a single, lonely figure in a sea of Pairs.

Would you be one of them?

Hastily, you shake your head, coming back to yourself and swallowing the acrid tang of self pity creeping up your throat. You slink to the next aisle over. A quick glance at your sticky note prompts you to retrieve a jar of pasta sauce. Bread is next.

You round the corner, eyes on your list. Bread, waffles, maybe you should get some ice cream—

You run headfirst into a solid chest, the impact so jarring you drop your basket. The glass jar of pasta sauce shatters, marinara splattering all over your shoes and the other’s scuffed boots. Strong hands seize your upper arms to keep you from toppling backward.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry—

The words die on your tongue when you meet the dark eyes of the man with whom you collided. His expression is one of cold fury. It chills you to the bone, freezes your soul, invokes a terror so deep in your mind you cannot draw breath. Then….

Click.

Your eyes widen. Fear dissipates instantly, replaced with unequivocal certainty. A spark ignites within you, warms your heart, sends a thrill racing up your spine.

It’s like that final puzzle piece snapping into place. No terror, only perfect completion.

Wholeness.

Now, you understand. Now, you see.

You stare in stunned silence at one another, his now shocked expression mirroring yours. A tremulous exhale spills from your lips. The grip on your arms tightens.

You take him in, as much as you can while keeping your gaze locked with his. He’s tall and broad-shouldered. “Powerful” is the first word that comes to mind. His strong jaw is peppered with stubble, the barest hints of gray flecking it and his brown hair. With your eyes, you trace the thin, white scars littering his face: One through his eyebrow, one through his lips, more slashed across his cheek and the bridge of his nose. His eyes…. His eyes are so dark—black?—and they glitter like beetle’s wings.

You inhale, part your lips to say something, to break the tense silence, but then his expression changes. His brows furrow, his lips press into a thin line. The cold scowl returns.

He releases your arms like you’ve burned him. Stepping away from you, he spins on his heel and quickly strides away. Incredulous, you watch the back of his jean jacket as he retreats, acutely aware of the knowing looks your exchange has garnered.

“Hey! Hey, wait!” you call, slipping a little in pasta sauce as you hurry after him. You pass a disgruntled employee and murmur an apology, you’ll help clean it up, you promise, you just need one moment….

The door chimes again as the man—your soulmate—all but flees to the parking lot. You pursue, half-jogging to catch up

“Stop! Please, why are you—

He turns to face you so fast you barely register what’s happening. A palm returns to your upper arm, another wrapping around your throat as he seizes you, spins, and shoves you up against the nearest vehicle. The noisy thud as your back collides with steel disturbs the muted hustle of post-work suburbia.

You gasp, equal parts shocked and impressed by the show of speed. You’re bewildered by your feelings, heart thudding in your chest, face hot. He just slammed you into a car and you’re blushing for chirst’s sake.

His own expression is pinched, strained. His voice, so pleasantly deep and rough, is terse as he speaks through his teeth, “You do not want to go down this road with me.”

You blink, your frenzied mind racing to process his words. “I…yes, I do. You’re—

“Forget this happened. Forget. It.” You flinch like he cut you, his words stinging like alcohol in a wound. You shake your head.

“…How?” you whisper. Your eyes burn. There’s no way you could ever, ever forget him now, not in any sense of the word. You’re connected on the deepest level, your very souls entwined. How could he say something like this? How could he want this? Does he not feel this bond like you do?

His jaw clenches. He pushes you away, not hard enough to make you fall, but firmly enough to make a point. Keys jingle as he retrieves them from his pocket. They rattle against the truck door—the one he’d pushed you against—until the lock clicks. He doesn’t look back as he slides into the driver’s seat, slams the door. The engine roars to life.

You watch, frozen to the spot, adrenaline and distress thrumming under your skin as the vehicle pulls away. It ambles through the parking lot, makes a left turn onto the street, disappears into traffic.

Your eyes burn.

Slowly, like your arm weighs a ton, you reach up to touch your cheek. It’s wet. You’re crying, you realize.

A new wound opens up, settles into your chest next to the loneliness:

Heartbreak.

[invaderlynx]

There’s a common headcanon that Bly took his own life after realizing what he’d done during Order 66. My brain decided to make that ten times worse for some reason:

Bly is a very competent officer. He’s a marshal commander—and a damn good one at that. For that reason, I can’t see him killing himself on a campaign, either by enemy fire or otherwise. He wouldn’t want to leave his men in a lurch, make more trouble for them than he had to, or endanger them in any way. So I’d have to imagine that if he had suicidal designs, he’d probably act on them while on leave. And where exactly do most troopers end up on leave? Coruscant.

____

Fox gets the call early in the morning. The war’s been over for weeks, but he’s still bone-tired. The fighting may be finished, but Coruscant has never conformed to the war’s schedule. He’s just as busy as he was before, if not more so. It weighs on him. Heavily.

The message is simple enough. A clone officer was found dead in his quarters with a blaster bolt through his brain, apparently self-inflicted. Fox doesn’t blame him, the poor bastard. Force knows he’s seen his fair share of suicides. Hell, he’s considered it himself.

Since the clone was a high ranking officer of the GAR, standard protocol dictates that the military police examine the body to rule out any evidence of foul play. Fox is about to dispatch a forensic squad when he finally gets to the CC number associated with the request. His blood runs cold. CC-5052.

Fox doesn’t send the requisite medical team. He goes himself. He’d trust his men with his life, but he doesn’t trust anyone but himself to care for his brother. His vod’ika.

____

The last time he saw Bly was months before the end of the war. Months before the incident with Rex’s ARC, before everything fell apart.

It was the last time all four of them were together. Wolffe, Cody, Bly, and himself, all crammed into a little back room booth at 79’s. Fox can’t remember what they were celebrating that day. Perhaps it was just the fact that they were all together again. 

Bly was just on the wrong side of tipsy—his tattooed cheeks flushed red and glowing in the neon light—but he was happy. Cody was goading him on about something having to do with General Secura. Like he was any better, the hypocrite. Wolffe had loudly pointed this out and then promptly spilled his drink when Cody gave him a shove. 

Fox felt lighter that night than he had in weeks, the bone-deep stress of Coruscant dissipating in the presence of his brothers. Surrounded by the people he loved most in the galaxy with the warm thrum of liquor in his veins, the war seemed distant. The incessant demands of the chancellor and Senate could wait, at least for a few hours. The most pressing thing for him right now was trying to rescue his drink from Cody and Wolffe’s play-fighting. 

When the night was over, Fox was saddled with the task of getting Bly back to his rooms in one piece. The whole way Bly had gushed into Fox’s shoulder about “Aayla”, his face pressed into the plastoid of Fox’s armor as his brother carried him back. By the end, the sight of his quarters had been a relief. Fox was about ready to strangle him. 

Before he’d gone Bly had hugged him, pulled him in for the most uncoordinated keldabe Fox thinks he’d ever seen, and told him he loved him. Fox can’t remember now if he’d said it back. Maker, he hopes he’d said it back.

____

Fox hesitates at the door to Bly’s quarters. His heart thuds painfully in his chest and his hands shake worse than they ever did during the war. There’s a tight, white-hot fear that’s coiled in his gut, freezing him in place. He forces himself to take a few breaths, ignoring its desperate, keening warnings.

He punches in the door code and steps inside. 

There’s no mistaking the corpse that lies before him. Any lingering hope that his brother might still be alive, that there’s been a mistake, dies in his chest. 

He makes the executive decision to spare Bly the indignity of an autopsy. Call it commander’s privilege. He knows enough forensics to realize that the wound was self-inflicted. He knows enough about Bly too.

He handles the body like it’s the most precious thing he’s ever carried. He gently arranges his brother’s bent limbs, straightens his uniform, closes his eyes. It won’t matter, his remains will be cremated all the same no matter how he looks, but it matters to Fox.

____

He escorts the hover stretcher to the crematorium—an honor guard of one. He’s not sure whether Bly would appreciate the gesture. They hadn’t spoken since Fox had killed that ARC, since he had been summarily declared “dar’manda”. He’s certain he wouldn’t be Bly’s first choice of pallbearer, but their other brothers are scattered across the galaxy or else marching on. Fox will have to do.

The guardsman on duty seems nervous. He’s a shiny and has likely never been around an officer for this long before, let alone one of Fox’s rank. He looks like he wants to ask something. Fox hopes he won’t. He doesn’t trust himself to speak at the moment.

Fox waits as the body is incinerated, standing at parade rest as the flames cast shadows through the small transparisteel window of the capsule. There won’t be anything to take back. This crematorium was designed to handle clone casualties that were never meant to be buried. Whatever ash is left over will be sent to a Coruscant waste facility automatically. 

Fox waits anyway.

Even with the best technology the Republic has to offer, the process still takes about an hour. The kid informs him when it’s over, his voice barely above a squeak. Maker, he’s young. Fox thanks him, taking care to make sure his voice doesn’t shake. Were he and his brothers that young when they left Kamino? 

The walk back to his office is torture. It takes every shred of discipline Kamino ever instilled in him to keep from breaking down. He measures his breaths, his strides, all the way down to his very heartbeat to keep up the appearance of the dutiful commander he’s meant to be.

It’s a mercy when he finally arrives at his destination. The moment the office door is locked behind him his facade cracks. His legs give out at last and he braces his back against the wall, bringing his knees up to his chest. He rips off his helmet, letting it clatter unceremoniously at his side. He curls in on himself. His body shakes with wracking sobs. His vod’ika is gone. He’s gone marching on somewhere Fox can’t follow.

[eekshade]

Death

Bucky Barnes x m!reader

Word Count: 3338

Warnings/Info: (Heavy) internalized homophobia, tried to make it sad, sexual comments in reader’s head, I don’t know much about the military much less the military in the 40s, I tried to make it as accurate as possible without putting too much time into it, first part of 3?, discontinued

Part Two

Y/n and Bucky are preparing dinner while in an overall sad attempt to catch up; something the two men haven’t really been able to do in a long time, though there’s not much to talk about other than the war. Bucky is leaning against a nearby wall as y/n chops vegetables into small pieces, preparing them for a shepherd’s pie.

“I should find out where I get stationed in around a week or so, as long as nothing happens of course.” Bucky shares with a sigh, he looks rather strange, he looked sad but it was mixed with something else, something y/n couldn’t put his finger on.

Y/n hums in response before slowly adding, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“What do you mean?” Bucky wears an all too bright smile, anyone older than a day can tell he knows exactly what y/n meant, but he decides to let it go.

“Y’know, like, are you okay?” Y/n momentarily pauses the chopping, and instead turns his whole body toward Bucky.

“Oh,” he looks disappointed that y/n didn’t just wave him off, with a simple never mind. “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay.” He mumbles a quick but insincere thank you.

Y/n nods softly, and turns back to what he was doing prior, as clear as it is that something is eating him up, y/n knows Bucky. He knows that Bucky (even if he wants to) won’t talk about his emotions in full depth, the only time he could see Bucky talking like that is if he’s moments away from death's door, but maybe even then he still would probably keep some things to himself.

“I just…” He quietly starts, dragging y/n out of his thoughts. He looks over to Bucky confused, Bucky already staring at y/n’s face as the two make eye contact, tears brim Bucky’s eyes, “I just don’t want to think about it right now, if that’s alright.” As quickly as he started, he stopped.

“Of course that’s fine.” Y/n tries to hide the disappointment in his voice, he honoring Bucky’s wish then waves him over and assigns him a few little tasks to try and keep him busy.

The two finish dinner in a comfortable, blue tinted silence. Y/n is setting up the small table in the corner of the kitchen and with one last glass set upon the table he gracefully (and dramatically) bows to show Bucky that he has finished his own tasks. Y/n’s head rises with a bright smile, the smile quickly disappears like a person in a chaotic crowd at the sight of Bucky, he is watching y/n, tears once again present in his eyes.

Y/n doesn’t know what to do, he knows that Bucky would want him to ignore it and move on like nothing happened, but he can’t in good conscience do that. So he slowly moves closer to Bucky, standing in front of him, he takes Bucky’s left hand into his own. Neither of them say or do anything for a few brief seconds, y/n watches as Bucky blinks causing the first tear to roll down his already red cheek, a few more follow suit and Bucky then, without meaning to, let out a pathetic whine. The sound causes y/n to move closer to Bucky, using their connected hands to pull him into a hug; this action is the breaking point for Bucky as he completely breaks down into y/n’s arms, Bucky’s head rests in the crook of y/n’s neck, tears wetting y/n’s skin and shirt.

The hug gets tighter as Bucky’s legs slightly give out, y/n holds him up as a few tears fall down his own face. Y/n can’t help but think about his own pain, his own stupid pain that finds its way to consume him whenever he’s just a little too close to Bucky. He tries to not think about it, as he finds that the more he thinks about it, the more comfortable he gets with the idea. The idea of loving Bucky, caring for him, cherishing him, holding him, kissing him, fucking him. God, he’s so fucked up, his best friend is about to be shipped off to who knows were and all he can think about his is own sick and selfish desires, he should be locked up where no one could find him. The worst part about it all is that he loves to think about it, he loves to daydream about it as he gets ready in the morning, when walks to work in the morning, when he’s working, when he walks home from work, when he eats, when he sleeps. He tries not to, he really does, it's just so hard when God’s most precious creation is always right there with him.

Y/n’s guilt forces him to at least acknowledge the sobbing Bucky in his arms, he runs his fingers through Bucky’s hair muttering soft words of comfort into Bucky’s ear. Bucky’s sobs slow to a stop after a few minutes of this, and he pulls away from y/n, only slightly so the two aren’t hugging anymore, but they’re still close enough for y/n to hear Bucky’s soft pants as he tries to stabilize his breathing.

Bucky has a look of regret when he locks eyes with y/n, this makes y/n feel as though he was being stabbed with a dull blade, but it got caught on something so it couldn’t go all the way through, now it just sits inside him.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky whispered as he looked to his feet and then back up at y/n, “I shouldn’t have dumped that all on you.” Bucky laughed to try and make it sound like a joke but he couldn’t bring himself to add any warmth to it.

“It’s fine Buck.” Y/n offered him a smile, it was more than fine he thought, but decided against actually saying it.

“No, I’m over here crying like a baby, when I should be, god, I don’t know, doing anything else.” He attempts to smile but it doesn’t quite make it all the way there, so it ends up looking more like a wince.

“Buck seriously it’s okay, it’s good to get it out every once in a while.” Y/n unconsciously takes a small step forward. Bucky hums, but y/n can tell he still doesn’t agree.

“So, you still don’t wanna talk about it?” Y/n asks but before Bucky can say anything adds, “I know it’s not really your style, and I respect that, but I think it’ll help.”

Bucky seems to think about it for a second before responding, “I can, if it’ll make you feel better.” Y/n knows he's just trying to deflect, but why not let him have it?

“Yeah, it would make me feel so much better.” Y/n laughs quietly.

Bucky takes a few steps back and leans against a wall, he starts to think for a moment on what to say, and his eyes gloss over once again, this makes him feel vulnerable and weak, he has to keep reminding himself that it’s just y/n but that only seems to make it worse. He crosses his arms as a way to close himself off from y/n, as a way to protect himself against the very possible ridicule that comes with what he's about to say. “I don’t wanna die.” His voice is quiet and trembling, half way through the sentence his voice broke. Y/n moves to take him back into his arms but he rejects the offer, hugging himself tighter.

“I don’t wanna die,” he repeats, slightly more confident than before, but still weak.

“I know Buck, but it’ll be okay. Everything will be f-,” Y/n attempts to comfort him but he cuts him off firmly, “Y/n.”

“Yeah Buck?” The way y/n’s eyes looked so concerned, so glossy, so perfect, it gave Bucky the extra push.

“I don’t want to die, because then I won't be able to come home to you, I won’t be able to cook with you, or rather you cook and I pretend to be helpful,” he laughs, a real heartfelt laugh, “I won’t be able to go on stupid little adventures to nowhere, I won't be able to, hell, cry into your neck like I’ve never had anything bad happen to me before.”

“I won’t have you, and that’s not okay.” He finishes his short, bittersweet rant.

Y/n’s eyes widen and his heart rate speeds up to a concerning amount, it takes him a little bit to process and once he does he’s smiling ear to ear. The smile falters slightly at the sight of Bucky looking at anything but him, tears running down his face.

“Buck…” Y/n softly calls out to him. Seeing how y/n hasn’t hit him or ran out the door yet, he against his better judgment, looks up at y/n.

“Bucky, I’ll be here. You just have to come back.” Y/n whispers.

“I know that y/n,” Bucky looks at him worried, “I don’t think you’re understanding me.”

“Then help me understand James.” Y/n responds exasperated, tears threatening to fall, Bucky flinched slightly at the use of his first name. “I need you to say it.” Y/n’s heart felt like it was going to give out.

“I love you y/n.” Bucky cried out softly, “God, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“I love you too.” Bucky doesn’t believe what he's heard, did he really mean it or was he just saying that?

Y/n closes in on him, arms open, this time Bucky accepts the offer. The hug was brief as y/n pulled away to look at Bucky’s face, “Stop apologizing for having emotions, okay?” Bucky nods slightly in return, but the expression on his face seems to be elsewhere, y/n compulsively brings his hands up to Bucky’s face, using his thumbs to wipe away the wet drops still present. Bucky gently grabs y/n’s wrists, which now rest on his jaw, and he uses them to lull y/n in closer to him.

The kiss takes y/n by surprise, he knows he shouldn’t, he knows it’s wrong, but hell it feels too good to stop. It started out slow and sweet, a way to test the waters, but the ever present dread that Bucky will be gone soon makes it hard to keep it that way. Y/n’s hands found their way into Bucky’s hair, teeth clashing together as the salty taste from the dried tears from the pair's lips filled their mouths. Both men seemed to forget their problems as they somehow drew closer together, Bucky’s hands ended up on y/n’s waist under his shirt trailing up and down the soft skin.

The blissful warmth lasted for a few minutes at the very least, before they heard the noise of what seemed to be very drunk men loudly laughing and yelling at each other on the street below. Y/n pulled away from Bucky at the sound looking quite fearful, he calmed fast when he realized that they couldn’t be seen from the windows, Bucky realizing the same thing, walked over to each of the windows in the kitchen and closed the curtains.

Y/n watched as Bucky did so, his mind filling with thoughts of regret and disgust. He felt like he needed to take a shower, like he needed to shred his skin off, like he needed to be thrown into a dumpster. His thoughts were bad enough all on their own, now he had to deal with his actions. He wanted to run away but he had enough sense to not do that to Bucky, it's not his fault, he was just corrupted. On the other hand he told Bucky to not apologize for his emotions, so why should he? He's been dealing with this long enough to know that it's not going to go away, and if Bucky’s fine with it, why not just give in?

Y/n’s internal fight could go on for days, but was cut short when Bucky turned back toward him, Bucky was smiling nervously. “The food is probably cold now.” Bucky laughed as he motioned for y/n to come sit with him. The two stayed together for the rest of the night, letting the thoughts of the outside world completely drift away.

…

Over the next week they found out that Bucky was being stationed with the 107th regiment, on Bucky’s last day the little group, composed of Bucky, Steve, and y/n all went to the World Exposition of Tomorrow (Bucky’s choice). The night was over faster than anyone would have liked, and with that Bucky was gone. It didn’t really help y/n that Steve, otherwise known as y/n’s only current support, somehow found a way to weasel his way into enlistment and was now also going off to fight. Of course y/n also had his responsibilities, he enlisted for the coast guard, he mostly worked in the security operations center, so he never really got deployed.

…

It has been around two maybe two and a half years since Bucky and Steve went off, y/n has sent them both letters every once in a while and vise versa, but not as much as they probably should have. Y/n was able to keep up with them in a way, with Steve’s whole new Captain America thing. Y/n was at work, filling out a file on a recent operation when a young, brunette woman appeared at the side of his desk. It had been a long time since he’d seen her last, and the times he had interacted with her were usually less than a minute or two, so it had taken him a second to figure out who it was.

“Becca?” He asked with a head tilt, “Is everything okay?” Y/n didn’t have to ask, he knew there was only one reason why she’d be here, and based on her sorrowful demeanor, he knew he was right.

“How about we talk in a more private area.” She offered, a sad smile wavered across her lips.

“Yeah, I got somewhere we could go.” Y/n stood and led her towards a storage closet, before they went in he could hear a few of his colleagues whistle behind him, this made Becca look uncomfortable and he wanted to shield her in some way.

He opened the closet door, “After you.” The smile was supposed to be playful but the dread of knowing what comes next stopped it from doing so.

“I’m sorry y/n.” Becca sniffled once the door was closed behind them, “James told me about the two of you before he left, so I thought I should at the very least tell you in person.” Her voice was quiet as she spoke.

“He told you?” Y/n asked, trying to keep the conversation from going away from the point, he isn’t ready.

“Yeah, came to me ‘round three or so days before he left. He didn’t say it was you but a girl has eyes.” She panicked slightly, “Not to say you’re being obvious or anything, I just know my brother.” She sniffles again.

“There’s no easy way to tell you-,”

“Then don’t.” His tone was standoffish and almost cruel, y/n knew this but the tears that were now forming in his eyes seemed to soften it a little.

She sighed, “I get it. I mean I know it’s different but I get it.” Y/n wanted to thank her but he didn’t think he could say anything without whimpering, so he opted for a weak smile.

After a few moments of trying to breathe he finally choked out, “How? Do you know?”

“No, do you want to know what they told us?” She questioned, looking rather angry now, “Killed in combat, like that helps us at all.” She laughed bitterly.

“It just hurts so much. My brother died and they can’t even tell me how or why.”

Y/n opens his arms to her and they both embrace, crying together.

…

It had only been a few days since Becca had come to visit, y/n was sitting at his desk, reading a file for his next assignment when the phone started to loudly ring, already cursed with a headache from how frequently he’d be crying, he groans, his clear disinterest made one of his colleagues to look up and softly laugh at the man’s pain. Y/n gathers up all of his courage before picking up the phone and placing it on his ear.

“Hello, l/n speaking.” He slowly slid down the back of his chair, staring at the ceiling.

“Hi y/n, long time.” The person on the other end stated in a neutral tone.

Y/n’s posture straightened out immediately, “Steve?” He asked excitedly.

“No, this is Constance Bennett.” Steve joked.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry Connie I wasn’t expecting you to call ‘till later.” Y/n was trying to hide the smile that was now eating up his entire face, his coworker was now looking at him rather funny.

“Seriously though man, it’s good to hear from you.” Y/n added on.

“Yeah I know, I’m sorry for not writing more often. Just have had a lot goin’ on.”

“Yeah I’m sure,” y/n laughs, “so…do you always wear the suit or is it a camera only thing?”

“That’s confidential.” Steve says in a deadpan tone, before they both start laughing. It takes them around a minute to calm down, once they do neither talk for a while, stuck in a very uncomfortable silence.

“…”

“…”

Deciding that someone has to take the initiative Steve starts to talk, ”Y/n, do you…know?” It’s sad and it hurts Steve to ask, but he needs it to get out of the way.

“Yeah I do, well I don’t know the details of it, but Becca swung by a few days ago to tell me.” He says slowly, trying to keep his voice leveled.

“That’s good, that’s good you know.” Steve would never say it, but he’s relieved that he didn’t have to be the one to tell him.

“So is that why you called? To tell me?”

“No, well yes, but no.” Steve stuttered out, “God just give me a second.” He was breathing softly into the phone for a few moments, deciding how he should word this.

“I need your help y/n.” He finally stated.

“Alright with what?”

“This is going to be a lot to ask, so I understand if you can’t or don’t want to.” Steve says trying everything he can to make this sound reasonable.

“Okay? Just tell me, I won’t hang up, I swear it.” Y/n softly pries.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“Put in for a transfer. It’ll go through, I’ll make sure it does. I’m almost done with my current mission, but with Buck,” he stops for a moment, “with Buck gone, I don’t think I can do this.” Even though y/n couldn’t see him, he knew Steve was crying.

“I’m sorry for springing this on you out of nowhere, I just didn’t know where else to go. You’re all I have.” Steve’s voice cracks slightly.

“Okay, I’ll do it.” Y/n responds with a concerning lack of hesitation.

“Really?”

“Of course Steve, I got you, you know that right?”

“Thank you.” His voice is soft, but y/n can feel the warmth off of it, even an ocean away.

“Anytime.”

The smile that crosses y/n’s face is bittersweet, he knows why he really agreed. While yes, a part of it was for his close friend, in all reality he truly was just ready to see Bucky again.

| MARVEL MASTERLIST |

[babymetaldoll]

Baby, I'm yours: - Chapter six: "Never forget I'm your man"

Summary: Spencer has been preparing a surprise for his cherie. The team gets a 5 am call that puts everybody on edge. 

Warning: Extreme fluff, smut (p in v), cursing, and that's it. 

Word count: 10.1K

A/N: Honestly, this was self-indulging to write, and I hope you all enjoy it.  Likes, comments and reblogs are always welcome! 

Btw, if you want the whole trip to Hawaii story, you can read the one shot here

Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel Masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

(Y/N)'s point of view

After a few weeks, I must say living with Spencer felt like it wasn't anything new. And don't get me wrong, it's not that it wasn't exciting, 'cos it was! What I mean is that it felt right, like what I had always been supposed to do. Yes, sometimes it felt like we needed more room, but we didn't care. His apartment was perfect for the two of us. We would spend the weekends cuddled on the couch, reading or watching old movies. Or kissing. Sometimes all three. It was our own paradise, our little piece of heaven we didn't want to tell anyone from work about. Between those walls, there were no cases, no sorrows, and no pain. Just us, in love, enjoying our company.

Yet still, we could feel the emptiness and sorrow of Emily's loss, and we discovered that sharing time with JJ and Will helped us. Taking Henry out to the park, or just having brunch together on Sunday. We knew she missed her as much as we did, and she became a big support for us during that period.

Morgan was going through his grieving alone though. He was mad at the world for taking Emily, and I completely understood his struggle. Penelope was always there for him, and I was glad those two could count on each other. It felt somehow similar to what Spencer and I had, though they weren't a couple: no matter what, they were always there for each other.

Except for that minute, when Spencer was nowhere to be found. It was Thursday night, and after he finished work, he rushed out of the bullpen telling me he had to attend yet another seminar. He had three seminars and a congress in the last three weeks and thought he promised he would be back home for dinner, it was already nine, and Spencer Walter Reid was nowhere to be seen. I texted him, but he didn't even read the message.

I stared at the kitchen and sighed. The primavera stuffed chicken was ready. I was turning into a Pinterest housewife who loved trying new recipes at least twice a week, or when work allowed me to. Spencer often joked his vest was going to start getting too tight if I continued cooking like that. That wasn't going to stop me, by the way.

- "Pumpkin! I'm home!"- Spencer announced as soon as he opened the front door.

- "Hey honey bunny! How was the seminar?"

- "Boring!"- my boyfriend walked to me as I set the table, and wrapped his arms around me- "I just wanted to come home and be with you."

- "Really? But you just sat next to me the entire day at work"- I felt his lips assaulting my neck as he chuckled and soon reached my mouth, holding my face with both hands, trapping me. As if I planned to move away from him.

- "The work time is not enough. Besides, I couldn't even kiss you. That's unfair"- and so, Spencer kissed me even deeper, and with more passion. As if he hadn't actually seen me three hours earlier.

- "Ready for dinner?"- I whispered as I parted from him slowly. If we didn't stop that kiss there, we were never going to eat.

- "Starving."

- "Go wash your hands while I finish here."

- "Yes ma'am"- Spencer pecked my lips and smiled before walking to the bathroom. I stared at him for a second and sighed. I never thought I could be so happy.

- "Hello?"- I picked up the phone as I reheated the mashed potatoes.

- "Hey nugget! What's up!"

- "Paco! I haven't heard from you in over two weeks, what happened? Were you mad? Abducted? New girlfriend?"- I heard my friend laughing at the other side of the line as I opened the oven and took out the chicken.

- "Neither, just lots of work. But I have great news, we are playing this Saturday in the Black Cat at eight, and you and the doc are officially invited to join us."

- "Sounds good! I haven't seen you play live in what feels like ages!"

- "I know, Mikey said he doesn't even remember your face."

- "How is my baby?"

- "I saw him earlier at rehearsal. He is ok, still dating the girl you didn't like, so please be nice and ignore her Saturday if she shows up."

- "Damn! Can't she get sick or something?"- Frank giggled. I knew he didn't like Mikey's girlfriend either, but I would always be the cruel one. He used to say a was a very jealous friend, but I wasn't usually wrong when I didn't like one of their dates.

- "I dunno, cross your fingers she doesn't want to go. Why do you hate her by the way?"

- "She looks like a gold digger to me."

- "It's not like Mikey is loaded."- Paco chuckled at his words and I simply sighed as I checked on dinner.

- "Yeah, but he is making good money and she seems to be very high maintenance. The last time I talked to Mikey, he told me he had bought her a new iPhone."

- "And little shit made me pay for pizza earlier!"- I laughed and grabbed a few dishes.

- "Well, if we don't have to catch any psycho killer, I promise we'll be there, front row, clapping and cheering you, as always."

- "Thank you nugget. I knew I could count on you. And how's doc?"

- "Good, he just got home and we are about to have dinner."

- "Give him my regards. I will leave you to enjoy your evening with your man. Love you!"

- "Love you, Paco. See you soon!"

Lucky for Frank, that weekend we didn't have to leave town, and after Spending most of the morning in bed, reading, drinking coffee, and making love, Spencer finally let me out of the sheets and into the shower.

- "I thought we could have some dinner before going to see the band"- he said as he drove through town.

- "Sounds good, I'm starving. Where do you wanna go?"

- "I dunno... let's see what we can find."- my boyfriend gave me a mysterious grin and held my hand.

- "Where are you taking me, Spencer?"

- "You'll see."

After less than half an hour, he parked outside the 24/7 dinner I used to frequent a lot when I was at the academy, 'cos it kept me sugar-loaded and caffeine high.

- "Hey, I remember this place."- I said as soon as we walked in.

- "Do you, really?"- Spencer's lips curved in a tiny smirk as he stared at me.

- "Yes, we came here after that party in Garcia's when I first joined the team."

- "Yes, we did"- Spencer grinned and pointed to an empty booth- "And I will forever consider that night as our first date."

- "Really?"- I sat and looked at him, raising an eyebrow- "You were aware back then I was dating someone else, right honey?"

- "I do. But I also know you never loved Paul"- I blushed and nodded. Though I knew it was true, it was very different when Spencer pointed it out. And even weirder when he remarked it with a cocky smile on his lips.

- "Are you implying I already loved you back in those days?"

- "Did you?"

- "I don't remember..."- I teased and he chuckled.

- "Well, I already knew you were the most special woman I had ever met."

- "I had been on the team just for four weeks or so."

- "And?"

- "You are full of shit, Spencer!"- I chuckled and he laughed- "Are you trying to tell me you've always loved me?"

- "You know I have, from day one."- he held my hand and kissed it- "It's true. I'm not telling you this 'cause I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."

- "Can I take your order?"- a waitress interrupted us and forced us to pay attention to the menu instead. Spencer asked for a cheese sandwich and I ordered a burger, plus two cupcakes and two cups of coffee. Yes, we were hungry, but in our defense, we had spent most of the day in bed, naked.

- "That day you told me something I never forgot."- I whisper and keep staring at my hands as we wait for our food.

- "I remember I told you you had been an incredible addition to the team, and that your linguistic knowledge was a great tool to crack cases."- he said and rested his hands on mine, making me see one more time, how tiny my hands were compared to his.

- "No, you thanked me for being nice to you, even though you were a barely tolerable person. And I remember thinking how could you say that if you were the only person in the whole FBI I wanted to hang out and be friends with since day one."

- "See? You did always love me."- Spencer smiled and I shook my head.

- "I also remember thinking you had the most beautiful smile ever, but I didn't tell you 'cos I didn't want to make you nervous."

- "You made me nervous anyway, chipmunk"- Spencer chuckled and added- "You told me you liked my random facts, so from that day on I've tried to give you at least one fact every day. And you always seemed sincerely interested in what I was saying. I never really had a chance, chipmunk, I know I've fallen in love with you every day since the first time we talked."

I stared into his eyes and bit my lips, thinking no one had ever said to me anything nearly as romantic and sincere as Spencer had said. He smiled and so did I, fighting the tears in my eyes.

- "You are very romantic tonight, honey bunny."

- "Yes, I am, ma cherie. Let's say tonight I am happy I have you with me, and I just want to make you happy."

- "If I had known that was your plan, I would have never left that bed."- my boyfriend chuckled and blushed, funny how he could be so bold at times, and still, be the shy man I had fallen in love with over five years before.

We ate our dinner remembering the first year we worked together. All the midnight cupcakes we shared all over the country when we were out of the city for a case, and neither of us could sleep. And for the first time ever since we were a couple, we analyzed our trip to Hawaii and how much we both suffered for being fools in love. We had a very nice evening, it was so amusing to finally share what was going on in each other's heads during the time, I was really enjoying my time.

Spencer's point of view

That night I was freaking out. Three weeks in the making were about to pay off, and I was terrified anything could go wrong. And the worst part was having to lie to (Y/N). I had to use all my profiler's tactics to keep her in the dark about what was going on. The escapades after work, pretending I had to attend a congress or seminars, sneaking to work on a secret project I had for her, everything was going to come out to the light that night, and I needed everything to be perfect.

- "Do you wanna know what was infuriating all the years we were just friends?"- (Y/N) asked and took a spoon of her brownie and ice cream.

- "Do tell, ma cherie."

- "The fact you were oblivious to all the girls flirting with you! And I was always so mad and jealous!"

- "No one ever flirted with me! Ever!"- I excused myself, shocked.

- "You made out with Lila Archer in a pool!"

- "Ok! That was the only time!"

- "You got that waitress's phone number 'cos you did that magic trick for her!"

- "I was working!"

- "Sure thing! How long did you keep the card with the kiss she sent you? It was on your desk, on display!"- I laughed and shook my head, denying any interest in that woman.

- "I forgot about it!"

- "Of course, Mr eidetic memory!"- I chuckled and watched her smiling at me, looking honestly happy.

- "I don't know why you are whining so much, during our trip to Hawaii I had to keep the guys away from you! If I remember clearly, I had to pretend I was your husband many times during those days"- (Y/N) blushed immediately and shook her head.

- "I only said that to that first guy 'cos I really wanted it to be our honeymoon"- I hear her confess after all those years- "I tried to get your attention the entire time, and you didn't even look at me."

- "Didn't look at you? I couldn't keep my eyes from you!"- my voice was so loud I nearly shrieked, as my ears and face turned blood red immediately- "I was so in love with you, and there you were, walking around almost naked! Every day you wore a smaller outfit than the previous, you were driving me insane!"

- "What?"- She widened her eyes, absolutely surprised by my confession. I couldn't believe she had never noticed.

- "I had to take cold showers at least twice a day!"

- "I was sure you hated being there with me!"

- "I hated not being able to touch you!"- I held her hand, chuckling as I let my fingers linger from hers to her arm, caressing her soft skin- "Maybe that is why now is so hard for me to keep my hands from you."- (Y/N) smiled and sighed, staring into my eyes. I tried to look confident and calm, though I was neither of those things that night.

- "I was so in love with you back then"- my girlfriend whispered- "So in love in fact, it hurt."

- "I felt exactly the same"- I kiss her fingers softly and smiled- "We were really fools in love, ma cherie."

- "Fools, blind, stubborn... you name it. I'm glad those days are over."

- "Me too."- I stared at her in silence, gathering the courage to say the following words- "Ready to go to the show?"- she smiled and nodded, and I quickly raised my arm to get the check. It was almost time. And I still wasn't sure how I was going to pull the strength to do what I had planned for the last few weeks.

The bar was crowded, which worked perfectly for the plan, but it made me feel sick in the stomach. There were a lot of people, and if things didn't go well, I was going to be embarrassed in front of them all. I looked around as we walked in, making sure everything was perfect.

- "Is it just me or does this place seems cleaner than usual?"- (Y/N) asked, staring at the hundred fairy lights around us.

- "Maybe there is new management"- I suggested, and she seemed to find my answer logical 'cos she just nodded, holding my hand tight to not lose me in the crowd. Again, there were so many people there that night! Why?

- "Wanna get a drink?"- I asked her, sort of yelling to make sure she heard me in the crowd and pointed at the bar. She just nodded with a smile and walked there with me.

We stood in front of the stage, each one of us holding a drink. I looked at the instruments and felt the air leaving my lungs. But I couldn't chicken out of it.

- "Did you see the sign that said "Absolutely no crowd surfing or stage diving"?"- (Y/N) asked, giggling- "I am pretty sure they put that after the last time the guys played here!"

I heard her laughing, but I keep staring around me, trying to convince myself this is going to go well.

- "Hey, I was thinking tomorrow we could have brunch with JJ and Will. I miss her."- she added suddenly- "Unless you have some other plans for us."- I shook my head, licking my lips, still looking around me.

- "Sounds good."

- "Are you ok, honey?"- (Y/N) asked and touched my arm- "You look pale."

- "Me? Really? No, I'm ok."

I smiled, making my best to look natural. But I bet she was right, I must be pale. When you're scared, blood flow increases to your vital organs as part of the fight or flight response, while the blood vessels constrict in other areas, like the surface of your skin. And when your skin gets less blood flow, your complexion turns pale. I thought I could explain to her what was going on, but that was a very bad idea. I couldn't tell her why I was so nervous.

- "Sure?"- she asked and looked at me, concerned.

- "Yeah, I'm perfect. Don't worry, chipmunk."

And just as I said those words, the band walked onto the stage, and everybody started clapping, (Y/N) included. She actually started shouting in support. Mikey looked at her right away and chuckled, waving before grabbing his bass.

- "Hi, I'm Frank. These are my friends."- Frank announced on the mic, and avoided looking at the crowd.

- "Go Paco!!"- and he turned and looked at my girlfriend, smiling.

It's hard to believe both Frank and Mikey still got nervous before a show, considering they did it at least three times a month. Well, and if they still got nervous before performing, what else could I expect from myself that night?

The first three songs passed way too fast. (Y/N) sang along and jumped the entire time. At least she was enjoying the show. I looked around and noticed everybody was there too. Penelope and Morgan were with JJ at the back of the place. Hotch and Rossi stood at the end of the bar. And Lu was on one side of the stage, taking pictures of the band. I jumped a little, just to make sure I still could move.

None of them knew what was gonna happen, and I wondered what Rossi had thought when he stepped into the bar. It was clearly not the type of places he frequented, the same as Hotch, JJ, Garcia, and Morgan. Honestly, the only person who took me to these bars was (Y/N), to enjoy local bands, which I actually liked a lot after all those years. The first couple of times she took me to bars with live rock shows I thought she was trying to prank me. Then I realized people were nice, and no one was gonna beat me, and I finally got to relax, and enjoy the shows.

- "What are we doing here, pretty boy?"- Morgan texted me and I chuckled.

- "Please don't tell me we've got a case"- (Y/N) asked as soon as she noticed I had my phone in my hand.

- "No, Morgan wanted to talk to me. I'm gonna give him a call outside, I'll be right back, ok? Wait right here!"- she nodded and continued watching the show. I walked to a side of the stage and made my way to the back without being seen by my girlfriend, who luckily was really into the show to notice me.

Mikey walked all over the stage as Frankie sang and played guitar. The fact he wasn't the best lead singer, but still everybody enjoyed watching him perform was encouraging. It almost gave me hope.

- "Ok kids, this is the last song!"- Frank announced on the mic and I started jumping on my spot. This was it, I was doing this, it was real.

- "And we are gonna do something kinda different for once. First, I wanna invite my dear friend Shawn to come to the stage with us and join us on the keyboards."- the crowd clapped and cheered, at least they were all being nice.

- "And also, we've got a very special guest tonight. He is my brother, one of my best friends, and the nicest guy I've ever met! Come here before I start sucking your dick, Doctor Spencer Reid!"

I don't know how I managed to move and walked up to the stage. The lights blinded me as soon as I stood in front of everybody, and Frank tapped on my back, helping me to move until I reached the mic, the one he quickly started adjusting to my height. I looked at the crowd and tried to find my girlfriend, who waved and stared at me in shock. I smiled at her and took a deep breath.

- "Hi, my name is Spencer Reid"- I said into the mic and my voice started shaking- "And tonight I wanna dedicate a song to the love of my life, my girlfriend (Y/N)."

I could see her face blushing as she kept looking at me in shock. I was shocked I was going that as well, so we definitely shared the feeling. Shawn started playing the keyboard, I looked at Frank and Mikey and the two of them smiled at me, so I just grabbed the mic and started singing.

Don't wish it away

Don't look at it like it's forever

Between you and me, I could honestly say

That things can only get better

I know I was way out of tune, my voice was shaking, as well as my knees, and I can't hold a note for the life of me. But I looked at my girlfriend, who was still shocked to see me on stage and noticed her big, beautiful smile. And that's all I needed to continue singing with all my heart.

And while I'm away

Dust out the demons inside

And it won't be long before you and me run

To the place in our hearts where we hide

Surprisingly, and despite how awful of a singer I am, the crow started cheering. I could see Hotch and Rossi clapping, along with Morgan from the bar, as Penelope kept recording everything. I chuckled as I heard them cheering and focused my entire attention on (Y/N)'s eyes. I was scared she would freak out and run out of the bar. And that wasn't even the most stressful part of my plan. What did I get into? I didn't care at that moment, because I knew she was totally worth any sacrifice.

(Y/N)'s point of view

What on earth was Spencer doing on that stage? Why was he doing that?! How the fuck did Frank and Mikey get on board with this?! I didn't know what to think or what to do. I just stood there, in front of my boyfriend, who kept singing with all his heart and was absolutely out of tune, one of my favorite songs ever.

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Time on my hands could be time spent with you

Laughing like children, livin' like lovers

Rolling like thunder under the covers

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

He reached one of my hands at the end of the chorus and helped me walk onto the stage. He kissed my hand as I stood by his side and looked at the audience for a second. Everybody here is cheering. Did they know this was going to happen?!

Just stare into space

Picture my face in your hands

Live for each second without hesitation

And never forget I'm your man

I chuckled nervously as Spencer pronounced those words in front of our friends. He actually wrapped an arm around my waist and swung with me, dancing on our spot. I was glad Morgan didn't hear him saying that. Well, Frank and Mikey did and they were gonna tease him just as much as Derek would. If not more.

Wait on me, girl

Cry in the night if it helps

But more than ever, I simply love you

More than I love life itself

Spencer kept holding my hand and spun me a few times as he sang. He was nailing it, he was owning that stage. I knew he was scared, but he was committed to his performance. I couldn't help but giggle the entire time, I was so nervous everybody was staring at us, and cheering at Spencer. But at the same time, I was so moved he had prepared this in secret just for me, to show me how much he loves me. It was the most romantic thing on earth, and I didn't know how I was going to top that.

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Time on my hands could be time spent with you

Laughing like children, livin' like lovers

Rolling like thunder under the covers

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Spencer finished singing and the bar blew up. Everybody was cheering and he just looked at me laughing, neither of us really processing what was going on. He bowed and waved at the crowd, but instead of walking out of the stage, as I thought we would, he turned to me and started talking on the mic.

- "Chipmunk, I know I am not the best singer on earth by far, but you are always singing the most beautiful songs to me and that always melts my heart. So I thought I needed to reciprocate you in the most painfully romantic way possible."

I chuckled as he spoke and looked around. Frank and Mikey were with Lu standing at one side of the stage, and "Baby, I'm yours" by the Arctic Monkeys started playing at the back. The whole place was filled with fairy lights and the main lights were dimmed, so it looked pretty romantic for a rock bar.

- "You have made me the happiest man alive ever since the day I met you. Just getting to live my life next to you was enough for me to die happy. But now that I've got you, that you are mine the way I am yours, I just... can't"- Spencer's voice broke and I held his hand tighter.

- "I love you"- I said as tears started falling from my eyes. He smiled and nodded, kissing my hand.

- "I love you too, ma chèrie. And I know this might be too soon for some people, but you and I wasted too much time hiding our feelings from each other. That's why tonight I need to ask you the only thing that could make me complete."

I froze as I stared at Spencer searching for something in his pocket and coming down on one knee in front of me. The crowd gasped as I widened my eyes, not even able to breathe. It was happening. It was actually happening.

- "(Y/N) (Y/L/N) would you marry me?"

I covered my mouth with both hands as I stared at my sweet prince charming, offering an incredibly beautiful ring to me. I looked into his eyes and started giggling, absolutely nervous and giddy with excitement, at the time I nodded and he smiled.

- "Of course I'd marry you, honey!"- in a second, he jumped from the floor and wrapped his arms around me. The entire place started cheering as Spencer hugged me and kissed me.

- "Really?"- he asked, shaking and I nodded, kissing him again.

- "Yes, really. I love you so much!"

- "I love you more!"- we kissed again and Spencer placed the ring on my finger. I stared at it and laughed, still in shock at what had just happened.

- "Congratulations!"- Frank, Lu, and Mikey screamed at the same time as they hugged us.

- "I can't believe this is happening"- I said as I chuckled- "And how did you guys get into this?"

- "Come on, let's get off the stage and we'll tell you everything"- Frank said and started walking. But neither Spencer nor I could move, 'cos someone grabbed my arm and pulled me.

- "Munchkin!! Boy genius!! Oh my god!! You're getting married!!"

- "Penelope?! What are you doing here?!"- I was confused, and it didn't get better when I realized Rossi, Hotch, JJ, Will, and Morgan were there as well.

- "Reid told us we had to come today for a surprise. And now we are all in shock"- Rossi said and tapped Spence's cheek- "Congratulations, kid."

- "Thank you for coming"- my boyfriend said as everybody hugged us.

- "We have so much planning to do!"- and of course, Garcia was ecstatic.

- "Lover boy!!"- Derek teased Spencer- "I can't believe you are getting married!"

- "Guys! We have to clean the stage for the next band, come on!"- Frank announced and clapped his hands- "We can keep celebrating back home!"

- "What?"- I asked and widened my eyes, still in shock.

- "I organized a little get-together at our apartment for tonight"- Spencer confessed, blushing even more- "I hoped you'd say yes and I thought maybe we could have a glass of champagne at our apartment afterward."

- "What? What do you mean with our apartment boy wonder?"- Garcia asked in shock. I opened my mouth to explain, but her expression left me speechless.

- "We... actually started living together a few weeks ago"- Spencer confessed, blushing, maybe a little embarrassed. Sure, he was cool performing in front of a whole bar, but he was nervous to tell our friends we were in fact living together.

- "And you didn't tell us?!"

- "We wanted to keep it a secret for a while until things were more settled and..."- Spencer tried to explain and I nodded. And all I managed to say was:

- "Surprise!!"- and felt Spencer's arms around me again. I stared at him, tears filling my eyes as I held his hand tight and simply smiled.

- "I love you so much, honey bunny."

- "I love you more, ma cherie."

- "Come on! Knock it off!"- Mikey argued, but Lu laughed at him.

- "They are about to get way worse, so get used to it."

- "Shit, and we have to work with them"- Rossi added, making us laugh as we walked out of the bar.

While we were out of our apartment, Lu managed to get everything ready for us. Spencer had gotten drinks and food in advantage and hidden it all at Lu's. I was shocked. I honestly never saw any of that coming. As soon as I opened the front door I read the "Congratulations Reids" sign hanging on the wall and nearly started crying again. There were balloons and decorations, it was a party! And I was completely in the dark about everything.

- "Spencer Walter Reid, you lied to me"- I argued as I stared around us. The team and our friends were getting settled and I still couldn't believe I was engaged to my best friend.

- "Yes, for three weeks I kept lying to you every day"- he confessed with a massive grin- "I was a little worried your profiling skills were not working at all this entire time."

- "Hey! I trusted you! Now I know I can't!"

- "No, you can't stop trusting me now, how am I going to surprise you for our anniversaries to come?"- Spencer held me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist, and kissed my lips sweetly.

- "I am never going to get used to seeing you acting like a couple"- JJ said and shook her head. I hugged Spencer and hid my face against his chest.

- "You kinda get used to it after you bump into them sucking faces every day for a month"- Morgan said (more like complaining) but still kept a silly grin on his face.

- "Yes, Strauss even forced us to go through an entire PDA seminar because of those two"- Rossi added, chuckling.

- "That wasn't just our fault!"- I argued right away- "I don't call my coworker chocolate thunder."

- "No, but it's a known fact that your coworker tells you during his lunch break that he wants to read to you while you are naked in bed"- Penelope's words made me blush in less than a second, and what made it all worse was knowing Mikey and Frank heard her.

- "Read her naked? That's nothing, once I walked into them having phone sex"- Frank said right away and I nearly yelled.

- "We were not having phone sex!!"

- "Situation said otherwise"- my friend added nonchalantly and I smacked his arm right away.

- "I swear, if you keep telling that story, you are not going to the wedding"- I threatened Frank and he fakely gasped, pretending to be insulted.

- "Ok guys, enough."- Spencer chuckled - "How about we make a toast?"

Everyone grabbed a glass and champagne bottles appeared out of the blue. I held my glass and Spencer's hand as I watched him thank our friends.

- "Honestly, this wouldn't have been possible without Frank, Mikey, and Lu. Thank you so much, guys, for all your help. Frank, I know you struggled hearing me sing during rehearsals"- Paco chuckled right away and raised his glass.

- "I never heard anyone who sang worst than me, you really gave me hope, doc."

- "I'm glad I inspired you"- Spencer laughed and continued- "Thank you guys for helping me propose to my lovely lady, I will always be grateful for all your support and encouragement during the last couple of days."

- "It was a pleasure, doc"- Mikey said raising his glass- "We all knew this was going to happen eventually anyway."

- "Yeah, it was shocking, but none of us is actually in shock right now"- Garcia added as everybody nodded- "Except for the fact you never told us you were living together."

- "I'm glad to hear that, 'cos I was a little scared you were all going to say it's too soon"- Spencer confessed and looked at our friends.

- "Kid, after how long it took you to tell her how you felt, I am glad you proposed within two months"- Rossi's words made me chuckle. Spencer raised his glass and simply said.

- "Thank you for sharing this amazing moment with us."

- "Cheers"-everybody replied and sipped their drinks.

- "Also, I hope you know this is not your engagement party. I am throwing you one in a few weeks in my mansion"- David announced and everyone cheered.

- "Thank you, papa pasta"- I reached out and held his hand for a moment, he squeezed it and cut me a big grin- "And thank you all for coming. I am sure you were all shocked when you heard the band."

- "The band was great, but when boy wonder stepped on the stage I was like "Wow! I never saw this coming in a million years'"- Penelope said- "And then he proposed and it all made sense! I kinda suspected this could happen tonight, but I refused to have hopes. After all the years you made us wait to get together, I really thought this was gonna take another five years in the making."

Spencer's point of view

I stared at (Y/N) standing on the other side of the room, piling dishes and glasses in the sink. Everybody was gone after sharing a happy moment with us. Finally. Don't get me wrong, I love our friends, but that night I realized that the ring on (Y/N)'s finger might be the biggest turn-on I had ever had.

I stood by the kitchen door and stared at her in silence. She looked gorgeous even doing daily chores. I still couldn't believe she wanted to marry me and spend the rest of her life with me. I was just a man and she was a goddess, how could she long for a lifetime with me? It made no sense. I had never been so lucky before. I had never been lucky at all, in fact. So if that goddess had fallen in love with me, the only thing left to do was to worship her as she deserved. And that I knew I could do until the day I died.

- "What is my lovely ​fiancée doing?"- I asked as I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her middle, standing right behind her.

- "Cleaning a little, so we don't have a messy kitchen in the morning"- she replied and rested her head against my chest- "I loved the way you just called me ​fiancée, by the way."

- "Did you know back in the mid-19th century, English borrowed that word from variants of the French verb fiancer, which means "to betroth"?

- "I love it when you talk facts, my sweet fiancé. Tell me more"- she whispered as she turned and faced me with a big grin.

- "The masculine form of the word is fiancé, with just an e at the end; while the feminine form is fiancée, with a double e, though the pronunciation of both is identical."- she smiled and kissed me, playing with her sweet lips against mine and running her tongue between them for a very brief instant. Way too brief for my liking.

- "Who would have imagined?"- she replied and smiled.

- "I'm guessing you, 'cos I just remembered you are a master in linguistics"- (Y/N) chuckled and nodded.

- "It's ok, it sounds cooler when you say it."

- "That's not ok. Let me make it up for that lousy fact, ma cherie."

- "How are you planning to do that, honey bunny?"- I just smiled and scooped her in my arms to start walking to our room- "What are you doing?"

- "Showing you how much I love being your fiancé, with just one e"- she laughed as I laid her on the bed and hovered over her, kissing her immediately. My hands cupped her face as I held her in place, positioning my body right upon hers. Her fingers played with my hair, and I moaned against her lips at the sensation. I loved it when she did that. I could live in that kiss and die happy any second.

- "You have been extremely romantic today, honey"- she whispered and giggled- "Maybe I should reward you."

- "No chipmunk. Tonight you are mine."

- "I'm yours"- she whispered and smiled as if the sentence had just hit her- "I've always been yours and now I'm gonna be yours until the end of time."

Her words melted my heart and I had to fight the tears, because of all the sweet things she had said to me over the years, those words were the prettiest and most meaningful. I caressed her cheeks and kissed her again, tasting her in my mouth. The warmth of her body underneath me was captivating, and it felt like a magnet, keeping me in place, unable to move.

- "I wanna feel you in me"- she whispered against my lips- "Please."

To hear her begging made my cock get even harder underneath my clothes. And that was a problem: there was too much clothing on us at the moment.

My hands quickly, but carefully peeled off her clothes from her body, as she tried to do the same with me, getting rid of my sweater and shirt in no time. She was now naked underneath me and I stood for a second to get out of my pants and boxers, as I stared at her in adoration.

- "Did you know that ring makes you look very sexy?"- I confessed as she blushed more, if possible.

- "No, I had no idea."

- "Yes, I can't imagine what your wedding ring will make you look like. I'm gonna have trouble keeping my hands off you after we get married"- (Y/N) laughed and I finally got rid of all my clothes and quickly returned to my place, between her legs. I kissed her with hunger as my hands moved up and down her body, as my hard cock rubbed against her clit.

- "Why would you try to keep your hands off me? I'm gonna be your wife, you'll have to fuck me hard every day. That'll be your duty"- she murmured between kisses, and I groaned at the thought of her being my wife- "And you wanna fulfill your conjugal chores, don't you?"

- "Yes"- I managed to give her a breathy answer as I focused on leaving sloppy kisses on her neck, as one of my hands pinched her nipple, toying with it between my fingers. I felt one of her hands moving slowly to my dick, and she slowly guided it to her entrance.

- "Eager, aren't we?"- I whispered and she giggled.

- "You have no idea how much I want you right now, daddy"

- "Tell me"- I begged right away, as her fingers played with my dick, stroking it and teasing me.

- "I want you so much I nearly dragged you to the bathroom earlier when the guys were still here. I've been wet since we were at the diner, and I just wanted to come back home and feel you filling every inch of me. I need you to feel your cum dripping from me."

- "Fuck"- I mumbled and focused on her breast again, licking them as she kept stroking me. Until this time, I begged her- "Please, let me fuck you. I need to feel you wrapped around my cock."- but she didn't reply. Instead, she guided me right to her entrance and my dick moved in slowly.

- "Oh god"- she mumbled against my shoulder- "You feel so good, Spencer. Please, fuck me."

And she didn't need to ask me twice. I slowly started moving inside her, as my lips focused on her neck, exposed to my will.

- "Is this what you were longing for, ma cherie?"- I asked her and she nodded, biting her lips, as soft moans erupted from her. That was music to my ears. I moved faster, feeling her nails scratching my back. I held her close to me the entire time as if she might disappear from one minute to the other. Which, I had always been afraid of.

- "I love you so much"- I heard her whispering- "Yes, daddy, just like that"

- "Oh, ma cherie, you are so tight and so warm, I really could just live inside you."

- "I won't object"- she answered and giggled- "I just wanna be yours"

- "And I, yours"- I rested my forehead on hers and stared at her beauty for a minute, trying to soak it all in.

- "Please, marry me"- I literally pleaded and she smiled.

- "You already asked and I already said yes, honey"- I nodded and sped up my peace, feeling her wrapped around my cock, all warm and wet, just like heaven.

- "And can we have a lot of babies?"- the question slipped my lips without me actually thinking of it, and when I heard it, I realized I had fucked it up. That wasn't the moment, I knew it, but I couldn't help it.

- "All the babies you want"- she gasped and looked at me. I smiled and so did she. Our lips were inches apart, and her moans kept encouraging me to fuck her a little harder, a little faster.

- "That's a dangerous answer, ma cherie."- I whispered and bit her lower lips, earring a soft whimper from her.

- "I'll take my chances."- she smiled and kissed me. I moved one of my hands between her legs and slowly started rubbing her clit, feeling her tremble underneath me.

- "Please don't stop, honey."

- "As you wish"

I could feel her walls pulsating around me as her moans became louder. She hid her face on the crock of my neck and bit me as her climax approached faster. I could feel my own release getting closer as well.

- "Please Spencer"- she whimpered.

- "What do you need, ma cherie?"

- "Make me cum, I wanna cum with you and feel you spilling inside me"

- "Fuck!"-

I rested my forehead against her and kissed her slowly. My hips kept crashing against her body as waves of pleasure rocked us. I kept up with my pace and felt her rise her hips a little, helping me reach that exact point inside her that made her come undone.

Her body twisted in pleasure as my fingers kept playing with her clit and I watched her cum underneath me as an opera. I could watch her unravel in pleasure forever.

- "I love you"- she whispered, panting, and kissed my lips before I let myself go into the pleasure and came inside her with a loud groan. She wrapped her arms around me as tight as possible while I came, and kissed my neck, marking me.

- "I love you too"- I managed to say a few minutes later, feeling the sweat on my forehead and her fingers playing with my hair again.

- "Sir, you are too good to me"- she whispered and smiled- "You make me so happy sometimes I feel it's not fair."- I chuckled and kissed the top of her nose, as I stayed still inside of her for a few more minutes, enjoying her warmth.

- "I know exactly how you feel, chipmunk."

(Y/N) was asleep next to me later that night, but I wasn't able to close my eyes. Her head rested on my chest as my arms still held her close to my body. I sighed and tried to chase away every sad and depressing thought from my head. I was too happy to be real, and that scared me. I had never been that happy and a voice inside me kept reminding me I didn't really deserve it.

- "Please, never leave me"- I whispered and kissed the top of her head.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The news of our engagement made mom and dad very happy. They were so excited they actually planned a family dinner with my brother (who was now single again) and no one fought. No one. It was magic. I had never seen mom so excited before in my life. She hugged Spencer over ten times during the night. And each time I reminded her he didn't like touching, but he dismissed my words with a smile and a simple shake of his head.

- "It's ok, chipmunk. I like feeling welcome."

- "Oh god! You are so welcome in this family, Spencer!"- and so, mom hugged him again, making dad laugh.

- "I had never seen her so happy before."- I pointed out as I poured more wine.

- "That's 'cos she was sure you were never going to get married"- Phoenix explained and lifted his glass to me, waiting to serve him some more as well- "Because of your work, not because you couldn't"- he added with a smile.

- "Sure..."

Diana was excited as well. Spencer sent her a letter telling her how the proposal went, and I added a polaroid picture of us from that night's celebration. When Spencer told me it was his mother who gave him the ring, I wrote her a whole letter myself, in gratitude not only for the gesture but also for her support. She replied in a few days, with a lovely letter calling me officially her daughter, and notifying me she would call me only that so from now on. Her letter also included a quote from Plato, which seemed so fitting for the moment it watered up my eyes when I read it: "Every heart sings a song, incomplete until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet."

I was in heaven.

Until we got a five am call to go to the BAU on a Wednesday morning. That wasn't normal. And there was not enough coffee in the entire FBI to keep me awake that morning. I sat at the table in the meeting room and looked around at my friend's sleepy faces. Derek was serious, staring at his notebook, Rossi and Seaver were talking about something, and Spencer was playing with my hand on the table. García walked in, looking scared, and stared at us, counting.

- "Where's Hotch?"

- "Any minute."- Rossi replied, not taking his eyes from his iPad screen

- "I didn't get a file sent to me. Did a case go directly to him?"- she asked as she sat down at the other side of the table.

- "Don't know."

- "When's the last time he called a meeting this early?"- Seaver asked and I was scared of that answer, 'cos it was the thought I had ever since the phone rang and I didn't even want to bring it up to not scare Spencer. Though it was obvious he knew it too.

- "Three years, eight months ago."- he answered and I squeezed his hand.

- "And what happened?"- Seaver seemed confused.

- "Gideon left."- I whispered and Spencer nodded. That freaked García right away.

- "Who's leaving?!"

- "Nobody's leaving, babygirl"- Derek sentenced right away, but he looked at us and I could read the nervousness on his face. He wasn't sure of what was happening, none of us were. And after Emily's death, I was afraid to lose another teammate. And sometimes I felt my life with Spencer was so perfect, something very bad was bound to happen.

- "I appreciate everyone coming in early."- Hotch said suddenly, walking in a hurry.

- "What's going on?"- Rossi questioned right away and my heart skipped a beat in fear of very bad news.

- "The Director called a meeting last night to discuss budgets."

- "They skipped over Strauss?"- Rossi seemed shocked.

- "She's away."- Aaron dismissed the question and continued- "The Bureau is facing a lot of changes and this unit is no exception. Over the next few weeks, each of you is going to be asked if you'd like to stay with the unit.

- "What?"- the question just left my lips and never went through my brain.

- "Why wouldn't we?"- Spencer asked, confused and I immediately held his hand again, going against all the PDA rules.

- "There are other options for you out there. And while I want the unit to stay together, I understand completely if you want to see what the alternatives are."

Hotch looked at us with something that could be described as crestfallen, but he kept trying to hide it behind his hardest face. I looked at Spencer and he turned to me. Neither of us liked the idea of leaving the BAU, and less the thought of losing another teammate. This was really bad timing.

- "Morgan, there's renewed interest in you from the New York office."- Hotch added and we all turned to Derek right away.

- "Nobody's called me."

- "They will."

- "That doesn't mean I'm gonna go."

- "Oh, I know."

- "Are you staying here?"- Seaver asked and I focused all my attention on reading Hotch's face as the thought his answer and finally said:

- "It's my intention."- it was clear it wasn't his decision to make. Someone wanted to shake our team. But why?- "All I ask is if you are contacted by another division that you let me know."

Hotch's speech was cut by his cell phone. I was still shocked and scared as I heard him saying to whoever had called that we were going to be there in 20 minutes. None of us moved our eyes from him during the time that phone call lasted.

- "Virginia State police believe they've uncovered a serial killer. They need us at Zacha Road and Route 7 as soon as possible. Morgan, you and Dave get out there."

- "What about this?"- I asked him and Penelope nodded.

- "Yes, we need to talk about this, Hotch."

- "We can talk about it later."- he simply replied and stood up. I looked at my teammates, all of us still trying to process what had just happened. But there was no time, we had to catch a serial killer. Again.

- "Relax, you know I'm not going anywhere"- I said to my boyfriend as soon as I reached his desk.

- "I know. Me neither."- he assured me and we both nodded as if we had just made a silent vow- "Well, I guess this is gonna be a long day."

- "I'll make a nice dinner to compensate."- my words made him smile and his eyes shone with happiness. We had each other, and that was all that mattered at that moment.

Spencer's point of view

(Y/N) made coffee and we started working on the geographic profile of the case with Ashley. Hotch locked himself in his office and none of us mentioned what had happened during the morning. Instead, we just worked. So far, all we knew was that a potential serial killer was killing and moving victims between states.

- "The only reason we have this case is because of an accident."- I mumbled, staring at the map.

- "You know the odds of that?"- Ashley asked and I heard my girlfriend chuckling.

- "Is that rhetorical? 'Cos you know he does"- Ashley smiled at (Y/N)'s comment as I just continued staring at the map on the board.

- "You think the unsub is working alone?"- Ashley asked us, but instead, (Y/N) asked her.

- "What do you think?"

- "Unlikely. It's high-risk to move one body out of state, but two?"- Seaver answered, and my girlfriend nodded.

- "Let's check the facts. Paige was abducted months after having Jake in captivity, and he traveled with both, which means he's criminally sophisticated."- (Y/N) pointed out as I nodded

- "Yes, it seems more like an organized operation as opposed to an individual offender."- I added, as she continued speaking.

- "Then he's probably done this before."

- "You think there are more victims out there?"- Ashley asked and I shook my head.

- "Impossible to say until we figure out how those two were targeted."

García walked in and held (Y/N)'s arm. She seemed excited or nervous. Probably both.

- "She is here!"

- "Who?"- (Y/N) wide opened her eyes and looked outside to the bullpen.

- "SSA Andi Swan! She's the head of the Domestic Trafficking Task Force and I love her work, she is a genius!"

- "Why is she here? Do you think Hotch is interviewing her as Emily's replacement?"- (Y/N)'s words froze me. I never thought of anyone replacing Emily, and getting a new teammate didn't feel right just yet.

- "Apparently she is collaborating with the case. Anyway, I have to run open cases for the last two years without any parameters to narrow it down, so I'll leave you, kids, for a while"- Garcia waved and walked out of the conference room.

- "Considering they are traveling with their victims, we need agent Swan's help"- I sipped my coffee and (Y/N) turned to me, nodding.

- "Yeah, and we need all the help we can get to finish this case quickly."

- "How are the wedding plans by the way?"- Seaver asked out of the blue. The fact she was the only one on the team I didn't invite to the proposal wasn't really a shock to anyone, 'cos they all knew she and (Y/N) had a very rocky relationship until Prentiss' death, and I didn't want to push it. She congratulated us as soon as she heard the news, though. And so far, she has acted very nice about it.

- "Slow"- (Y/N) sighed, staring at a bunch of papers- "We have been trying to find a place for the reception, but we haven't had much time to visit any because we have been way too busy with cases."

- "Rossi said you could use his mansion"- Ashley suggested- "That's a nice venue"

- "Yeah, we know, but we don't want to take advantage of his generosity."- I say and smile- "Besides, we still got time"

- "Yeah, we are not in a hurry."- (Y/N) added the second Hotch walked in with agent Swan, and they started filling us in with everything the Domestic Traffic task force knew about the case.

The wedding plans had been stressful, but fun. It was something I never pictured myself doing, but it was fulfilling in a way. (Y/N) and I were working on our budget and our guesses list. I was glad we didn't know many people. She asked if I wanted to invite my dad, but I didn't want to, it didn't feel right. We still hadn't set a date, but we weren't in a rush. We just wanted everything to be perfect.

- "Here are the missing coeds since 2009."- García's voice took me from my thoughts as she walked into the office and left a considerable pile of files on the table.

- "Wow."- Seaver's reaction was funny, both (Y/N) and I smiled as we saw her shocked face.

- "Thank you sweety"- my girlfriend thanked our friend- "Let's look at the last-known locations on these files. Maybe there's an overlap, so we can start narrowing this down"

- "They're from all over the place."- Penelope whispered the bad news and (Y/N) frowned.

- "Fuck, ok so then let's think. These guys hunt in target-rich environments, right? Let's start looking for clubs, malls, that kind of thing."- (Y/N) turned to Seaver and the two of them started going through the files at once.

- "What are Morgan and Rossi finding?"- I asked García

- "Uh, a lot of mud on the car and the victims."

- "Mud? Did it rain here?"- I frowned confused. That didn't make much sense.

- "No, not here. South. Morgan has a theory that based on the gas mileage, they must have filled up within 70 miles of the accident."- García explained as I nodded

- "Gotcha. How many gas stations do you find?"

- "Forty-two".

- "How'd you narrow that down?"- I asked and she stared at me perplex

- "I didn't."

- "Why not?"

- "I didn't have any more parameters."

- "Never stopped you before."- she looked at me and sighed, turning around and heading back to her office, shouting "I'll be right back!" on her way out. I looked at (Y/N) and she sighed.

- "You are doing the dishes tonight"

- "What? Why?"

- "Thanks, Reid."- Seaver added and I just stared at them, confused.

But I didn't have to do the dishes, 'cos we weren't home for dinner. We were stuck with the case and with an SSA missing, probably taken by the group. Meanwhile, we were all still thinking about that morning's meeting and the future of our team. Was this our last case together? Who was going to leave? I just wanted to solve the case as fast as possible.

As the team left to catch the unsubs, (Y/N) and I were left in the BAU with García in her office, following the whole mission.

- "I schedule two visits for this weekend if we are in town"- (Y/N) announced suddenly- "The Art Club of Washington and The Red Fox inn Tavern."

- "Jesus! That place is amazing!"- Penelope nearly jumped from her chair as she heard (Y/N)'s words- "How into the planning are you?"

- "Not really too advanced"- my fiancée sighed- "We've got time to settle on the guest list and a budget. That's it."

- "Honey, that's more than you had two months ago."- I smiled at Pen's words and wrap an arm around (Y/N)'s shoulders as she kept staring at her hands on her lap.

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered and she took a few seconds to answer. And when she did, she cuts me a short smile and nods.

- "I really hated Hotch's talk this morning"- she mumbles- "I don't want anything to change. I can't deal with change again."

- "Nothing will change between us, I can promise you that."- I replied and kissed her temple. She sighed and nodded, trying to smile at me. Somehow, I felt as if I was lying to her. I didn't want anything to change, but I couldn't promise that either.

And I had no idea that in less than four months, everything I knew would fall to pieces. 

You can read the whole trip to Hawaii story here

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[stillsaltyaboutmcr]

Hangover- J.S Part 2

part one here

@pono-pura-vida here you go ;)

Warnings: cursing, Jake being a simp, Jake liking mean women, finally possibly getting somewhere???

in which Jake likes mean women.

It was another day of training, everything going according to schedule…until 15 minutes ago.

You were up in the air with Hangman doing a training exercise when he about made you both crash. Once landed, you stormed out of the cockpit over to him, steam coming out of your ears.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” You walked up to him and shoved his shoulders. “Do you even have any idea how reckless that was? How stupid are you??”

He just stood there and smiled as you yelled at him. “Is your brain that fucking small that you can’t even answer me? Explain yourself!!” He let out a small laugh which only made you see red. “Fuck you Seresin.” Just as you were walking away, Natasha walked up to the scene going down.

“Hangman, what was that today? What is going on with you?”

“She is amazing.”

“You must’ve hit your head.” She shook her head, letting out a sigh. “What is the reason for your obsession over her? She’s nothing but a bitch to you?”

“She’ll turn around one day. I’ll get her to marry me.” He just stared off into the distance at you. You were still clearly angry, arms flailing as you spoke to Rooster.

—

This routine went on for weeks. Hangman would do anything just to get you to speak to him. He didn’t care if the words out of your mouth were insulting or that you were yelling at him. He just liked to hear you speak to him. It gave him time to stare at your eyes and study your facial expressions. He was utterly obsessed with you and was determined to put a ring on it.

“You know what Jake? I’m done flying with you. All you ever do is try to get everyone in the sky with you killed. Congratulations-“ your words were coming in one ear and out the other. He had no clue all he had done was drive you further away with his actions, that today had been your breaking point. He was just so busy watching the way your eyebrows furrowed as you spoke, the way your nose scrunched. As he watched you walk away, he had no idea it would be for the last time.

—

The next morning, Hangman came into training and noticed one seat was empty. Confused he sat next to Rooster, asking “Who’s missing? There’s usually only one empty seat when I get here, not two.”

Rooster looked up at Hangman and took a breathe, trying to find the words. “C/S left yesterday. Resigned from the whole mission. Went back to her duty station in Europe.”

“But why would-“ Before he could finish that sentence, the realization hit him like a truck. He was the reason you left. All of his stupid games and actions to get your attention actually only drove you to leave. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah, she was one of our best chances at completing this mission, and now she’s gone.” Rooster nodded, letting Hangman piece it together on his own.

—

No one had heard from or seen you in years. Then again, no one really noticed.

Except for Jake. He was counting the days until he saw you again, waiting to spot you somewhere or find you in a crowd.

He waited and waited to meet your eyes again, to hear your voice. But, he’s given up hope after 1,276 days of nothing.

That was until he was sitting in the Hard Deck waiting his turn in pool when the front door swung open and there you stood. He heart stopped for a second as he adjusted to reality. It had been over 3 years since he saw you and you looked beautiful. He watched as you looked over and beelined for Natasha and Bradley. He wanted you to come over by him. He wanted to ask you why you were here, how you’d been. He wanted to apologize for what he did that day years ago. For what he did to you. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

Jake watched diligently as you made your rounds to each person you knew in the bar, hoping you’d eventually come see him. He didn’t expect you to, knowing your hatred for him, but he held onto some hope.

Eventually you walked in his direction, eyes on Javy, who stood next to Jake. “Hey Jav, how are ya old man? How’s the wife?” Jake wondered to himself how you knew about Javy’s new wife. They just married last year and no one’s heard from you since the mission.

“She’s good, she’s 2 months along now with our little baby to be. We’re doing great.” You smiled at Javy’s response and Jake about melted. It was a gorgeous site. “What’re you doing out here though? I feel like you’re presence is unexpected.” Javy laughed as you sighed dramatically.

“I thought Rooster told everyone!” You titled your head to the side before looking past Jake to try to find Bradley, but to no avail you returned your gaze to Javy. “How do you not know? Jake do you know?” It took Jake a moment to realize you spoke to him. He brain fogged as your eyes landed on his.

“I-no, I don’t.” He stuttered before you pursed your lips and continued your conversation with Javy. He listened in as he cursed himself for being so awkward. He listened as you explained your stationed here for training for a couple of months before you go to your next duty station in Japan.

Curiousity was eating at Jake all night, wanting to ask you every question in the book. He wanted to know how you felt about him after all these years. The bar had died down a bit and people were starting to shuffle out, so he thought it was now or never.

“Hey, Y/N?” Jake spoke up, clearing his throat as you turned and hummed in response. “It’s been awhile, how are you?”

You fully turned to face him, telling the man you’d been talking to ‘to have a great night’, finally giving Jake your full attention. “I’ve been alright, you?”

Jake tried to read your body language and expression but couldn’t, absolutely clueless to if you were genuinely wanting to talk to him, or if it was simply a formality to you. “I’m okay, still stuck here. I’m a Top Gun instructor now.” He shrugged, trying to make conversation.

“Really? That’s why I’m here. I’m filling in for Lt. Hall while she’s on maternity leave. I’m only here until she returns.”

Jake thought he was going to pass out. “Wow.”

“Yeah, looks like we’re going to be working together again.” You’re expression deadpanned as you said that. You looked down and bit your bottom lip, remembering what happened last time.

“Looks like it. I promise not to be a jerk this time. I’m really sorry for how everything went down with the Uranium mission.” It came out faster than Jake could comprehend.

You stood there in shock, silent. You both stood for a moment in an awkward silence before your mouth opened and shut again. Jake thought to just walk away but then you spoke up. “What happened back then was really messed up. I almost got dishonorably discharged because of you. When I told Cyclone that I was dropping out, he tried to hit me with a ‘refusal of orders’. I had to face disciplinary actions out in Europe before they sent me here. I was grounded for that whole period of time. I haven’t flown a plane since that day.”

“I’m so sorry I-“

“No,” you interrupted him. “I hated you. You were cocky, ignorant and reckless. You were immature and it just wasn’t fair. You were labeled as one of the best pilots in the Navy but yet carried yourself in such a horrible way. I worked my ass of my entire career to be the best and carried myself with a positive attitude and never met the standards held for me by my chain of command. It was infuriating!” You finally looked at him again and Jake’s heart was going to burst. “I just wanted to be good enough and I never was, yet you never had to lift a finger and had people praising you left and right.”

“You know I was only like that because I’m in love with you, right?”

“Shut up Seresin. I’m not doing this right now. I just poured my heart out to you and you’re gonna pull that card? Don’t pretend.” There’s the switch he was hoping wouldn’t come.

“I’m not lying to you. I did all of those things to get your attention.” He was pleaded now.

“Is this the new game? Play with my emotions?” He didn’t know what happened. One second you were both pleasant with each other and apologizing and showing emotions and now you’ve turned out of nowhere.

“I don’t know what happened. Do you really not believe me?”

You shook your head, grabbing your purse off the bar and paying your tab. You turned to look at him one more time before saying, “I’m not sure what to believe.” He could hear pain in your voice before you sighed and added. “Fuck you for screwing with me.” With that you walked off and Jake was left standing there, lost with no idea what to do. He has no clue what happened for you to switch so fast on him.

Did you think he was lying? Why would he make such a thing up? “Hey man, you okay?” Rooster put a hand on Hangman’s shoulder as he followed his gaze to the door where the last of you disappeared from his sight. “Still the same old C/S?”

“Yeah, but I’m still marrying that woman.” Jake sighed as he shook his head, planning out what he’d say to you on Monday, but then he thought of something better. “Rooster?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you happen to know where she’s staying?”

[lavender-long-stories]

Writers ask, Pic a fic

1,6, 18,26

Wow, these questions are really thought-provoking. Thank you for the ask.

I tend to write all of my work in the same way, so I am going to answer these generally.

1. Start to finish, how long did it take to plan and write? Did you take breaks during the process?

This answer would have been different a few years ago (Lavender Clouds took 4 years to write and had several large gaps in uploads), but now I'm pretty consistent.

I do not plan a whole story before I start posting with it, but I do write a few chapters to make sure that it feels like it can continue to carry itself. For some stories, I vaguely know where I want them to go and how they will end, but for most, I am going on vibes alone.

It's hard to tell how long it would take me to write one story from start to finish because I am never working on just one story. But, I think, looking at my history over the last two years, I would say you could assume that it took more or less as many weeks to write in full as the story has chapters because the multi-stories set up paces me.

I like to take my breaks by working on other stories. I tend to average about 8-12 chapters a week but that is usually spread across 5-7 stories.

I have a habit of writing 10 chapters for one story and then not touching it for 2 months. Which is why I only release one chapter a week even when I am way way ahead of that.

6. How did you decide what tense and POV(s) to use?

For all my stories, I write 3rd person, past tense. I do that because my brain does not understand any other.

For POV, I tend to switch freely between the main couple and whoever else is relevant to the story to give you a piece of information that the main couple may not know. I usually use the POV of whoever has the most incite to the situation or who will be more impacted by it.

For example, if you have a breakup scene, depending on the context, the person being broken up being blindsided is the focus, or the person breaking up with them and the reason would be the focus. Depends on which you are trying to highlight.

For most scenes, either POV would do. One might just have a cuter thought process about the situation that I would enjoy writing more.

18. Talk about your editing and revision process

My whole writing process for every story is: - Write whole chapter - Do one read through edit - Put in to posting pile - After the story has been completely posted for like 6 months, go back and do more thorough editing

I do not like sitting in the same scenes for too long. I want to move on.

Occasionally, because I write a few chapters ahead of my posting schedule, I will notice something that I want to change about the story and will go back and move some details around, but that is rare. Only happens every few stories.

26. Share your favorite detail

I love details that are just kind of 'useless fluff.' I like to add little things like a seemingly unnecessary to plot conversation or an outing to the serves nothing more than just to be cute.

Domestic things like being upset about laundry, sweet moments, and being comfortable in bed.

Not everything is relevant. Not every scene is important to the plot.

I think it makes my world feel more lived in, but I know it can drive some people mad.

Chekhov would shoot me.

This is for this fic writer ask

✿ 𝙰𝙾𝟹 𝙰𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚔 ✿

[eemamminy-art]

for the artist ask game:

3. your favorite piece(s)? 13. talk about a wip you like!

3. your favorite piece(s)?

This is tough, because I find that my favorites change all the time because I'm constantly improving! I think the ones I really like best currently are:

This all saint's day-themed estimeric piece, which was inspired by a really intimate and personal experience I had. Fandom has made it harder to enjoy this ship more recently but they are so special to me, I wanted to project a special moment from my life onto them. I also posted it on a really meaningful date for me, so it's like.. extra personal and special in that way 💕

This fordolyse beach artwork, because I feel like it's held up to my own personal scrutiny very well even though I drew it last August, and I just really love looking at it. I love the beach, and I find joy in drawing a simple beach and sky from my head. I love their body types. I think the composition works well even though it's super simple!

The little autumn-themed sketch page I did of my stardew guys, because it felt like such a labor of love to be working on it genuinely for two whole months and to not give up on it until it was perfect. I redrew some parts of it over and over and over, I wasn't sure I'd ever finish it. It was a real exercise in my ongoing attempts to stylize my art in a satisfying way while still keeping it feeling solid and proportionate yet interesting.

13. talk about a wip you like!

Well, this one I'd say I half like it, and I need to figure out what I'm doing with it… but I'm doing some like then vs now pieces with my stardew guys and while the lines are "done" on the past portion, I far and away prefer how sketchy the future part looks.

When I compare the finished lines to the sketch on the first half, I feel like it lost so much personality and I'm trying desperately to find a happy balance between cleaning up my sketches in a concise and balanced way while still keeping the energy and feeling of the sketch. I hate to feel like I wasted my time but I might end up just redrawing it, it feels so stiff to me 😭 I know this is a lot of complaining when it's supposed to be something I like, but!! I'm finding myself putting a lot more thought and going much more slowly with my personal art (working on it a little at a time over weeks instead of doing one or two several hour long sittings so as to not spend too much time on something "just" for me) which I think is helping me be more mindful of where I want to take my art, and also making the finished work more satisfying (since it's ultimately stuff I'm making for me anyway) :3

I think this wip probably has a long way to go and it might look totally different when it's done, but I find myself thinking about it and coming back to it the most! Like sometimes I just open it up on my second screen while I'm gaming and I just glance at it and try to figure out what's missing, or what can be changed. Or I just go ehehe at the smiles in the future portion of the set 🥰

[maybeimamuppet]

picking teams- chapter 14: cady

hello everyone!! boo surprise sunday post!! because!! TODAY IS MY THIRD WRITING BIRTHDAY WOOOOOO!

today three years ago i posted my first ever oneshot (i think technically it was on the 4 bc it was late at night but the intention was to be today so i’m sticking with the 3). i can honestly say i was expecting NOBODY to read anything of mine and that this would be something i did for maybe a few months and then dropped like all my other hobbies.

and here we are three years later! so i’d just like to say a huge thank you to everyone who’s supported me through this little journey over the last three years. i feel like i really have a community and a little family here. i appreciate every single pair of eyeballs that has ever laid eyes on a fic of mine, whether you comment and i get to know who you are or you’re just a lurker. whether you’re new or you’ve been here the whole time. thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here for and with me <3

anyhoo! mushy stuff over for now lol please enjoy this chapter :)

tw for

broken bones

and as always if i missed something please let me know so i can add it in!

——————

Cady goes back to school that Wednesday.

Her parents let her have one more day off to recover and finish the homework she had been putting off. Cady's still not feeling 100% after her episode, as Janis put it, but she can't afford to miss any more school. Or cheer practice. She's gotten more than a few threatening texts from Regina.

She runs into Janis briefly going into homeroom, since it's in the same classroom as Janis' first period. She smiles, mostly at the ground, and Janis surreptitiously brushes her hand against Cady's and gently links their fingers together before walking off like nothing happened.

Cady blushes furiously and heads to her seat. She hunches in on herself to scribble something on a piece of notebook paper she rips off and folds up. She's so focused on making sure nobody sees what she's writing that she almost misses Ms. Norbury trying to take attendance.

"Cady. Caaaady. Heron. Hello."

"Wh- oh, uh, here," she stutters. Ms. Norbury arches an eyebrow and ticks her off on her computer. Cady trills her lips and tucks the paper into her pocket.

"Glad to have you back, Cady," she says once the bell rings.

"Thanks! Uh, see you this afternoon!" Cady says, rushing out the door. They already don't have much time to get from class to class, and she has a stop to make this time.

She tries to act like she's just leaning casually against the wall and she doesn't have to be across the building in two minutes. Once she looks around to double check nobody is watching, she carefully slips the note between the slats in Janis' locker and rushes off to her class.

Hopefully she gets it.

—-

Cady looks up from her phone in fright when she hears a murmured, "Hey, sweet thing."

Janis is peeking around the corner of the bleachers, lunch in hand and a confused look on her face. Cady spotted this during a rainy-day indoor practice last week. The bleachers are completely solid, so nobody can see in. "Did anyone follow you? See you?"

"Nobody important," Janis shrugs as she puts her food down. "Whatcha doing?"

Cady sighs in relief upon hearing confirmation that nobody will see them together. She leans in for a kiss and gets a sweet little peck. "I want to have lunch with you! It's like our own little place!"

"That it is," Janis agrees with a chuckle. "How's your day been?"

"Good! I got a hundred on my math test," Cady says happily.

"Of course you did," Janis laughs. "What'd you tell Regina?"

"About what?"

"Where you are," Janis says as she takes a bite of her... probably turkey sandwich. Cady's eyes widen. Shit.

"I... didn't tell her anything," she says quietly.

Janis quirks an eyebrow. "Better come up with something quick."

"Why?"

"She's gonna grill you like a war interrogator," Janis snorts.

Shit. She's right. "Uh... um..."

"Just tell her you skipped lunch," Janis shrugs.

"Skipped it?" Cady asks.

Janis shrugs again. "I dunno. That'd probably work."

"I'll think of something," Cady hums, pursing her lips and taking an exasperated bite out of her celery stick. Janis smiles at her like she's some cute little animal.

"So... any particular reason you're slipping notes into my locker and sneaking around with me behind the bleachers?" Janis says with a smirk as she scoots a little closer to Cady.

Cady groans as she's suddenly reminded why she had done this. "I have to go to Regina's after school. We're having a costume fitting for the holiday parade."

Janis looks at her oddly. "You're in the parade?"

Cady nods eagerly. "Mmhmm! I get to be an acro elf!"

"A what?" Janis giggles.

"I get to dress as an elf and do tumbling and acrobatic stuff next to Santa's float!"

"Oh," Janis says. "Stevie loves that one. I didn't know it was us."

"They choose the best cheer team in the region to do it. Apparently this is the first time in, like, ten years that it's been North Shore," Cady explains.

Janis snorts. "That makes more sense."

"I'm really excited. But I have to spend a lot of time with the Plastics, I won't have as much time free after school," Cady says apologetically.

Janis shrugs. "It's just a parade. Once it's done your schedule will calm down a bit and we can spend more time together again. Not like we're breaking up."

Cady giggles. "I still have my knight in shining armor to come save me from the Plastics if I beckon her."

"Damn right you do," Janis smirks, leaning in for a kiss.

Cady happily leans in too, smiling to herself as their lips touch. She's suddenly very glad she totally ate it at their last practice and spied this hideout behind the bleachers from the ground.

"Might need to save you already," Janis hums as they pull apart, looking Cady up and down with a small grimace.

Cady sheepishly looks down at her bright pink crop top she'd decided to wear today. She tugs at her collar, suddenly self-conscious. "You don't like it?"

"No, no, you look cute," Janis says. Something in her tone tells Cady it's a half-truth at best. Oh well.

“Thanks," she says. Janis takes another bite of her sandwich and sprawls on the hard floor of the gym with her head on Cady's lap.

"Oh, get this- my math class this morning," she says. Cady tunes out almost immediately, stroking some stray hairs away from Janis' forehead and just watching her mouth move. It's probably nothing important. God, she's gorgeous.

What is she going to tell Regina?

I got sick- ew, no.

I had to talk to a teacher- too easy to mess up if she comes from the wrong direction. They'd get suspicious too easily.

I- oh, fuck it, I'll think of something.

She continues munching on her lunch and half-listening to Janis speak. Janis doesn't seem to notice or care one way or the other. Cady smiles and pulls out her phone to check her messages. She thinks of something then.

"And then-"

"Have you... told anyone about us?"

Janis pauses mid-sentence. "No."

"Not even Damian?" Cady asks shyly.

Janis shakes her head. "I kinda still don't believe it myself. I wanted to keep it to myself for a while."

"You don't wanna tell people?" Cady asks with a frown.

"No! No, I do. Some people," Janis says. "I just wanted it to stay between us for a little bit. And I figured I should check with you before I told anyone. But I'd be fine telling a few people now."

"Oh," Cady says.

"Do you want to?" Janis asks, sitting up and brushing her hair out of her face. Cady thinks for a moment before she nods.

"We should probably tell Damian, at least. He'll find out sooner or later anyway."

Janis sighs. "True."

"You don't want to?"

"No, I'm just preparing myself," Janis says, looking at Cady out of the corner of her eye with a small grin. "Might as well get it over with, I guess. C'mere."

Cady frowns in confusion and scoots closer. Janis pulls out her phone, opens the camera, and leans in. Cady catches on and gently rests a hand on Janis' cheek, smiling into a sweet kiss. She can feel Janis smiling too as she hears the camera shutter snap and they break apart. Janis sneaks a quick peck to Cady's nose, making her blink in shock and giggle quietly.

Janis opens her text conversation with Damian and types out a message. Cady hugs her arm and leans in over her shoulder to read it.

snarkisian: hey babe

cupboard: whaaaaaat do you want

snarkisian: Sent a photo: things have developed

Janis' phone starts ringing almost immediately. Janis frowns at it as Damian's contact photo fills the screen and it buzzes in her hand, but she hits the green button and the speaker so they can both hear.

As soon as she does, a piercing shriek rings out from the speakers. It's loud enough that Cady practically feels her brain dislodge and start rattling around in her head. She thinks she might've heard him all the way from the cafeteria, too.

As soon as that happens, he hangs up. Janis and Cady both blink at the screen for a moment before bursting into hysterical laughter.

"I don't know what I was expecting," Janis sighs affectionately as she slips her phone back into her pocket. Cady feels her own buzz against her leg and pulls it out to see several incoming texts from Damian that mainly consist of ABSKEOWIWHWJWJABDHWOWOA.

She clocks the time, then, and jumps. "Oh, shit!"

Janis startles. "What?"

"I have to go, lunch is almost over," Cady says, frantically packing up her things. "Bye babe. See you later."

Janis blinks in surprise, but returns the quick kiss Cady gives her before Cady goes rushing off. She has to find Regina before the bell rings. Not that Regina has ever felt much urge to listen to the bell.

She tries to think of an excuse as she hurries through the halls towards the cafeteria. Nothing really comes to her. She skids to a halt next to some sort of booth when she sees Regina and Aaron standing close to it.

"Hey!" she greets brightly after smoothing down her hair and adjusting her shirt. They both look at her. Aaron quirks his head when he sees what she's wearing, but he gets a faint smile.

Regina checks her nails and says, "Hey. Where have you been?"

"Oh, um..." Cady says. Shit. She wracks her brain trying to think of something. What did Janis say? "I skipped lunch."

Regina cocks an eyebrow. "Why?"

Cady smiles as she puts the pieces together. "I'm... trying to lose weight. So I look more like you guys. I just had one of these diet bars."

"Diet bars?" Regina questions. "Let me see."

Cady happily hands over the whole box of Kälteens. Regina holds it between her hands to try to read. Aaron peeks over her shoulder to try to see too.

"It's all in Norwegian or something," Regina says, looking at Cady in confusion.

"Swedish," Cady corrects before she can stop herself. "There's... um... this ingredient in them that you can't get here yet. My mom used to use them to lose weight in Kenya."

"Hm," Regina nods. "Can I keep these?"

"Sure!" Cady says brightly. She has a feeling Regina would've kept them even if she said no. Works for me.

"Now, are you getting me my candy cane?" Regina hums. Cady frowns in confusion before she realizes she's talking to Aaron.

"What happened to losing weight, those things are pure sugar," Aaron chuckles. Regina brushes his hair off his forehead and runs her fingers through it so it stays out of his face.

"But it's such a nice thing to do for your girlfriend," she pouts. "And stop pulling your hair down, you look so hot with it pushed back. Don't you think so, Cady?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, way hotter," Cady says. Two months ago that would've made Cady want to go for the jugular. Now? She couldn't care less.

Aaron sighs and begrudgingly leaves his hair the way Regina sort of styled it. "Alright, move over, since you so desperately need this candy cane."

He leans over the booth selling them to fill out one of the paper slips that'll eventually get tied to a candy cane and passed out in class. Cady giggles into her hand when she realizes Damian is the one in the budget Santa Claus costume behind the booth.

"Cady, remember, student parking lot after school," Regina says as she laces her pink-taloned fingers through Aaron's and leads him off to... wherever they're going. Most definitely not class.

"Got it! Bye," she says. She can feel her face relax as soon as they're turned around and can't see her anymore. Cady goes to the booth and leans across it. "Hi Dame."

"Ho ho ho, happy holidays! Would you like a candy cane?" 'Santa' replies. Cady laughs again.

"Hey, does Regina ever send any of these things?" she asks.

"Nah, she only gets them," Damian replies in his normal voice. "You want any?"

"One please," Cady replies, taking a pen with a smirk on her face.

—————

Cady sighs a little to herself as she follows Regina and the others into her house. Gretchen and Karen chat with Regina's mom. Regina huffs and rolls her eyes, straight off to her bedroom. Cady says a quick and polite hello and takes a handful of the offered snacks. She nibbles on the sunflower seeds while she mulls over what to do next.

Regina took the bars. As long as nobody recognizes them, she should be in the clear there. How can she make them work faster? Kälteens do work quickly, but Cady wants results as soon as possible. For Janis.

What makes you gain weight quickly? Cholesterol, but Cady doesn't want to do anything permanent. This is just to teach Regina a lesson, then she can lose the weight again. Sugar? Yeah. Carbs.

Cady smiles to herself as she puts a plan in place.

"Alright, you girls go find Regina. You'll do great," Mrs. George says after however long. Cady jumps when she remembers where she is.

"Thank you, Mrs. George," she calls as she goes running after Gretchen and Karen up to Regina's room.

"You're welcome!" the woman calls after them.

Regina tosses a hanger at her as soon as Cady walks into the room. "Here. I know, the costumes are fugly."

"I think they're kinda cute," Cady says, holding the outfit out so she can see it all.

"The hat has fucking jingle bells on the top, Cady," Regina huffs, handing Cady hers. She shakes it a little bit, and sure enough, there's a quiet jingling. "Go make sure it fits, but we really just need to work on making sure the hat doesn't hit the ground or fall off while you tumble."

"Okay," Cady says. Gretchen and Karen just changed in front of each other, but Cady sneaks off to the en-suite and locks the door behind her. She looks at herself in the mirror and takes a deep breath.

Janis was right, I do look Plastic, she thinks. Cute, though. Her loss.

She carefully takes off her clothes and tugs on the red-and-white striped tights. She has to jump to get the super stretchy material all the way up, but she manages with only one faceplant. Then comes the green dress, with gold buttons down the bodice, short sleeves with puffed shoulders, a belt at her waist, and red and gold trim around the hem with a collar to match.

It's not a great fit. Hesitantly, she unlocks the door and steps back into Regina's room with an, "Um."

Regina looks at her and laughs. "I kinda thought that would happen, these costumes are all huge. I swear they think we're all fat cows or something. My mom will tailor it for you."

Cady looks down at the very strangely fitting dress. There's a lot of space in between her belly and the dress, and not a lot in between it and her boobs. The skirt hits about mid-thigh, which is entirely too long, if Gretchen and Karen's are anything to go by. The sleeves are both uncomfortably tight in her armpits and loose everywhere else.

Other than that, it's great. At least the tights fit.

"Go change again, she'll get your measurements before you leave."

Cady nods and slips gratefully back into the restroom. She snaps a quick picture before she changes and sends it to Janis.

She's stuck with the dress over her head when she hears her phone go off, presumably with Janis' answer. She wriggles more in a ditch attempt to free herself, which gets her nowhere even faster.

Eventually, she escapes, heaving for breath and her hair all frizzy. She peels off the tights and puts on her non-elf clothes. Regina takes the hanger as she passes her on her way into her bathroom while Cady is occupied checking her phone.

jayjay: cutie

cadygirl: You like it?

jayjay: ofc i do

jayjay: my dorky little elf

cadygirl: Hey!

jayjay: do u get ears and shit

cadygirl: Yeah

cadygirl: Regina's really mad about it

jayjay: holy shit that's amazing

jayjay: reginald in elf ears

cadygirl: I don't get it I think they're cute

jayjay: i think ur cute

"Who are you texting?" Karen asks. Cady leaps a solid foot in the air as she materializes over her shoulder. "Not enough emojis."

"Um..." Cady stutters. Her immediate instinct was to blush and press her phone to her chest so they can't see. Now Gretchen and Karen are both looking at her suspiciously. "Uh... my... g- boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?!" Gretchen squeals sharply. "You can't get a boyfriend without telling us!"

"I can't?"

"Not without your best friends' approval! You wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends if it looks good on you," Gretchen hums.

"I wouldn't?" Cady replies in confusion.

"Exactly!"

Cady just blinks.

"So who is it?" Karen asks eagerly.

"Oh, you don't know him," Cady says immediately. Because it's not a him. It's not technically a lie. Right?

"He's not, like, thirty, right?" Gretchen asks in concern, the furrow in her brow deepening the longer Cady goes without answering.

"No! No, ew," Cady replies with a grimace. "Uh... he... goes to another school."

"Which one?"

"Um... do you remember that school we played right before Thanksgiving break? The away game when we stayed at the hotel?"

"Roosevelt?" Gretchen asks. Sure.

"Yeah. He goes there," Cady replies. "His name is... Jasin. With... an I."

"Ooh, unique!" Gretchen coos. "Is he cute? You have to introduce us soon!"

"Well, I don't think he's... everyone's type, but I think he's cute," Cady replies sheepishly.

"Aww, you're blushing!" Karen says. Cady blushes harder.

"Shut up," she scoffs. Karen's face falls. "No, wait, I didn't mean it like that-"

"It's okay," Karen says quietly.

"I'm really sorry, Kare," Cady says. Karen gives her a look Cady can't read. Not that Karen is ever easy to read.

"Don't worry about it."

Cady gently squeezes her arm. Karen smiles faintly at her.

"Do you have pictures of him?" Gretchen asks eagerly.

"No," Cady says immediately. "Uh... he's really shy, we don't, like, send pictures of ourselves much. We just like to see each other in person and text and stuff."

"Aww," they both coo. Gretchen continues, "Well, get one soon! We gotta make sure he's hot enough for you."

"I'll try," Cady giggles. "Oh, could we like... not tell Regina right away? It's all new, still, I don't want her to freak out about our image if we break up or whatever. We've only been together for, like, two weeks."

"Our lips are sealed," Gretchen replies immediately.

"But I'm not using SuperGlue as Chapstick again," Karen adds.

"No, that's okay, K, don't do that," Cady says immediately. "Thanks guys."

"Alright sluts, put on these... eugh. I can't even call them hats," Regina says as she parades back into the room. She chucks one at each of them rather aggressively. Cady's ends up hitting her full force in the face when she's too slow to react.

Regina watches as the three of them carefully push all her very expensive furniture out of the way so they have enough room to flip without fear of crashing into anything. Cady asks why they're not just practicing outside, and Regina goes on a solid ten minute rant about being seen in those costumes more than they have to. Cady doesn't speak for the rest of the evening.

—————

"Did Regina's boobs get bigger?" Cady hears the boy behind her in chemistry class ask about two weeks later, apparently as a conversation opener with his equally-jock-douchebag lab partner.

"Dude, totally," jock-douchebag replies. "Aaron's a lucky guy."

"Isn't she still dogging Shane?" bro number one asks. Cady tries to hide a shudder at the mention of his name.

Bro the second shrugs. "Probably."

Dammit, we made her hotter, Cady huffs to herself as she slides her goggles down over her eyes and turns on the bunsen burner. She looks over and sees Janis with a similarly disgruntled look on her face.

She gestures subtly for Cady to focus. Cady snaps back into the real world, this time before she can set herself on fire. She risks one glance back and sees Janis chuckle to herself, biting her lips to stop before anyone can see and ask what she's laughing about. Cady smiles to herself and buckles down to set some Doritos on fire. Not myself, thank you very much.

—————

Cady is laser focused in calculus another two weeks later. Not on calculus, but... she's there, it's fine.

She jumps and bangs her knee against her desk when Santa Claus slams the door open with a bellowed, "HHHHHOOOOO!"

"Jesus Christ," Ms. Norbury sighs, picking up her shattered chalk bits after she dropped it in shock. "Make it quick."

"One candy cane gram for Shane Oman," Damian says, adjusting his very poor quality fake beard as he hands Shane his candy cane.

He holds it between his first and index fingers like a pair of dirty underpants and leaves Shane to snatch it. Damian wipes his hand on his red velvet Santa coat like Shane has some sort of hetero cooties he might catch.

"Four for Glenn Coco!" Damian continues. "Hohoho, you go, Glenn Coco. Two for Caddy Heron!"

Cady frowns in confusion. Two? She only bought one. She takes them with a smile as Damian wiggles his way between the rows to deliver them. "Thanks, D."

Damian winks at her and moves on to deliver the next few candy canes to the lucky recipients.

Cady checks the tags on hers. There's the fake one, the one she wrote herself. She smiles to herself as she reads the little red slip of paper on the second one.

Merry Christmas my little elf

<3, J

ps ur short lolololol

She rolls her eyes as she reads the very loving message from her girlfriend and unwraps the end of the candy cane. She sucks on it as she continues pretending to pay attention when Damian leaves and Ms. Norbury can resume her lesson.

——

"Sorry I'm late!" she pretend-puffs as she stumbles her way into the gym. Regina just glares at her from across the room, but Gretchen comes scrambling over to join her as she plops her still-open bag on the ground. "God, I was in the middle of a problem when the bell rang, I didn't even have time to get packed up-"

"You got a candy cane?" Gretchen asks softly. She picks it up and unfolds the tag to read.

"Oh, yeah, Regina sent me one! Isn't she just the best friend?"

"R-Regina?" Gretchen squeaks. "Thanks for being such a great best friend. ...Cute."

"She didn't give you one?" Cady asks with faux-sympathy. She's heard it from the mouth of the lioness herself. There's no way Gretchen got any.

Gretchen shakes her head frantically. "She never sends them."

"Oh. Weird," Cady replies. "Well, you can have that one if you want. I had another one."

"I have to go," Gretchen chokes around floods of tears. Shit. Maybe Gretchen is a little more fragile than she thought.

"Gretchen," she says pleadingly, running after her friend to the bathroom.

"Well, i-if you and Regina are best friends now... then you can be in charge of keeping all her secrets," Gretchen says as soon as the door closes behind Cady.

Cady just nods. She can tell Gretchen is about to ramble, she doesn't dare interrupt her.

"Like, for example, she bought you those shoes just to make fun of you! Be-because she knew you wouldn't be able to walk in them. And she's not really blonde!"

Cady's eyes widen. She's not? Her eyes flick to the door as she hears a shocked gasp come from the other side. Was that... Damian?

"Her natural color is dark blonde. Also she totally cheats on Aaron!"

Cady almost chokes.

"Every Thursday she says she has a cheer intensive but she totally just stays behind to hook up with Shane Oman in the lion costume!"

"She makes him wear the costume?" Cady asks in disgusted horror.

"No! They're both in the costume!" Gretchen bellows, snapping the candy cane in half and dropping the pieces to the floor. Cady's jaw drops.

"Oh my god."

"And I never told anyone because I am such a good friend! I-I'm gonna go fill up my water bottle. Cover for me?" Gretchen sniffles. Cady nods.

Gretchen ducks out of the room. Damian enters before the door even closes, and Janis slams her way out of the stall. Damian hysterically whimpers, "I wear that costume!"

"Cads, that was amazing! What did you do?!" Janis says with an adorably delighted smile on her face. She rushes up and grabs Cady by the arms, spinning her around before she leans in for a kiss.

"Just a little Christmas magic," Cady responds with a grin of her own as soon as they break apart. "I sent myself a candy cane but I signed it as being from Regina."

"Clever girl," Janis coos in a horrible accent. Cady giggles.

"Okay, I gotta go! Love you guys." Janis gets another kiss and Damian gets a quick hug before Cady runs back to the gym to start their last parade practice.

————-

Cady grumbles as she wakes up the next morning. It's barely morning, the sun hasn't even risen yet. She has to be in the city, an hour away, two hours before the parade starts at 8:00. And she has to be there with her hair and makeup already done.

She does consider herself a morning person, but four in the morning is a bit much for anyone.

She grumbles as she hauls herself out of bed and stumbles to the restroom. She turns on the light and resists the urge to wince and close her eyes. How am I meant to be a jolly elf on five hours of sleep?

Cady opens her eyes extra wide, looking a little past unhinged when she sees herself in the mirror, to let the light in and hopefully wake her up.

By the time she's done brushing her teeth, she doesn't squint in the light anymore. She still grumbles sleepily as she washes her face, though.

She brings up the photo Regina sent (accompanied by many profanities) of what her makeup should look like so she can copy it. It's honestly not very different from her usual cheer makeup. Foundation, lots of gold eyeshadow, black mascara, red lipstick. Pretty much the only difference is the bright pink blush that she leaves in neat little circles on the apples of her cheeks instead of blending it up her cheekbones to look more natural. It's a little more rag doll than elf, but maybe it'll work better with the costume on.

She does her hair in two french braids, parted as close to even as she can get down the middle of her head and twisted intricately so they won't fall out after a morning of being mostly upside-down. She gives up on each braid a bit before the end, and ties the bands around halfway down instead of at the ends. Kind of a cute look, she thinks, as she fluffs out her curls at the end of each braid.

"You ready, binti? Have a Kälteen bar," her mother says when she trudges her way downstairs. Cady grabs the bar and takes a disgruntled bite out of it. She nods.

"You're sure this Regina friend can bring you home? We have to leave right from-"

"Right from the parade, I know, Dad," Cady says. "I quadruple checked, I'll make it home fine. Have fun at the vet conference."

"Oh, we will," her mother promises. "There's a keynote speaker on upgrades in euthanasia technology."

"...Cool," Cady replies.

"Right?! Alright, go get in the car. You sure you have everything?"

"Yeah. Regina has my outfit, I'll get changed there," Cady says. She looks down and brushes some wrinkles out of her Christmas jammies that Janis bought her. She smiles at the memory. My little dork.

"Time to hit the road, then!" her dad says. Cady shrieks as he hoists her off the ground and marches out towards the car.

"Dad!"

Her dad just starts bellowing the chorus to I Love a Parade, probably really irritating their poor neighbors. Cady gets affectionately tossed in the backseat, and her dad continues singing as her parents get into their spots up front and start the drive to Chicago.

————-

"Binti, we're here," her mother says. Cady jumps and snorts, bashing her head against the window she had fallen asleep against. "Ooh, be careful."

"Shit," Cady hisses under her breath, rubbing her new sore spot.

"Language," her dad chides, only half-serious.

"Sorry daddy. Have fun in Peoria. I love you," Cady says, bending at a weird angle to hug her parents goodbye. They can only stay long enough to see the beginning of the parade, so she has to get her goodbyes in now.

"We will. Be safe, have fun. No boys," her mother says, gently patting her back.

"I know, I know. You don't have to worry about that," Cady chuckles. Really. You have no idea.

"Atta girl. Go get em, tiger," her dad says, opening the door for her and sending her out. "Love you!"

"Yeah, love you too," Cady says, briefly walking backwards to talk to them. She gives them a final wave before she turns around and starts running to her team's meeting spot. "Yeesh. I'm sixteen."

Regina, once again, chucks her costume at her as soon as she's within sight. Cady manages to catch it this time, and looks around for somewhere private to change. The only place is behind some trees, so she heads that way.

Regina's mom is a talented seamstress and tailored Cady's costume to fit her perfectly. Almost too perfectly. It's so tight against her chest and her belly that she can barely breathe, and the skirt juuuuust barely passes her bum. The candy cane-esque tights are all she has left to protect her modesty.

The shoes with pointy toes and jingle bells are a recent addition, and she jangles her way back over to her friends. "Hey."

"Hey!" Karen greets, too brightly for six in the morning.

"Are your costumes, like, really tight?" Regina huffs, shifting her arms around to try to stretch the fabric a little. "They were huge, my mom can't have fucked up the tailoring this bad."

"Mine's okay," Cady shrugs. Her hat jingles for emphasis.

"Ugh, I'm gonna go see if she has any safety pins," Regina grumbles. Cady's phone pings as she stomps off through the frost-covered grass.

jayjay: good mornin buttercup

cadygirl: >:|

jayjay: what ?

jayjay: not a good morning??

cadygirl: Sent a picture: It's 6 in the morning and I look like this

cadygirl: And I'm cold >:|

jayjay: aww

jayjay: someone's grumpy

cadygirl: Yeah >:||||

jayjay: steve and i will be there to see you

cadygirl: Yaaaaay 🥰🥰

jayjay: that easy to cheer you up huh

cadygirl: It'd be even easier if you bring me food

jayjay: little conwoman

cadygirl: Whaaaat nooooo

jayjay: i'll take you to breakfast after

jayjay: hobbit

cadygirl: Hey!!

jayjay: not because you're short

jayjay: this time

jayjay: bc they're hungry all the time

cadygirl: Oh

cadygirl: Still v rude of you

jayjay: if i take you to get a happy meal will that make up for it

cadygirl: Yes <333

jayjay: done

jayjay: see you soon peanut

cadygirl: See you soon gorgeous 😘

Cady suddenly feels much warmer as she puts her phone back into her bag. She and Gretchen glue each other's ears on and the whole team does a warmup and stretch routine together. Cady rolls out her wrists and finally smiles as she gets into her spot.

——

The parade is more fun than she was expecting. It's less intense than what she has to do at games, more walkovers and limbers than tucks and punches. She gets a little dizzy, and it's hard not to get run over by the float on the rare occasions she fumbles a landing, but it's still fun. For once, the smile on her face is genuine the whole time.

She waves dorkily when she passes her parents. They both have their phones held up to film and proud smiles beaming across their faces. They wave back just as dorkily before they duck out and are off to their seminar.

Cady doesn't get to do much in the way of the more limber skills anymore. It's fun. She kind of misses doing skills just for fun, for herself. As long as she stays in her spot she can do whatever she wants to. She does all sorts of front walkovers, back walkovers, aerials, the occasional handspring. It's refreshing.

Whenever they come to a stop is when things get interesting. Nobody wants to see a parade stuck in place, so they practiced lots of choreography for that. One of the floats ahead of them gets stuck on a corner, and Cady does a vaulted flip off of Regina's crouched form like a really, really elaborate game of leapfrog. Regina acts like she's dancing with her and whirls her back around so they're in their right spots before they get going again.

Towards the end of the parade, Cady hears a, "Hi Cady!"

She's not supposed to, but she looks over. Stevie is waving eagerly to her, her arm linked with one of her friends. Janis is behind her with a cute grin on her face as she sees Cady in all her elvish glory. Cady wiggles her fingers back in greeting, and kisses the tips of her fingers twice before blowing the kisses in their direction. Janis smiles wider and sneakily blows one back. Stevie just squeals and dances around with her friend. Cady adds a little more flair to her skills than she needs to just for them.

Things stop and start a lot more as the first floats get to the end of the parade route and have to navigate pulling off to the sides of the road or getting where they need to be. Cady and Regina do their series of tricks at least six times. They start adding little bits of flourish to it when it begins to feel boring and repetitive.

Apparently a little too much flourish. Regina does a dramatic turn before she crouches to be Cady's vault.

Cady's already running.

She has no time to stop as Regina's safety pin breaks.

And her costume comes off.

Regina screams and bends down to try to grab it. Cady slips on the fabric and goes head over heels the wrong way. Cameras are already out, pictures and videos being recorded. Apparently more people from North Shore make the trip out to see the parade than they thought.

But Cady can't hear the shutters clicking or the agitated murmuring over the pop her ankle makes as she lands, and the roaring of blood in her ears as a horrific pain radiates up her leg. No, no, no no no nononono.

One of the coaches was walking alongside the float in between them and the crowd to make sure it all went smoothly. She rushes up and helps Regina get herself situated. "You alright, Heron?"

Cady can only sob. My ankle is broken. My ankle is broken and it really hurts. My ankle is broken and I may never be able to tumble again. My ankle-

"Whoa, kid, hey," her coach says. "Can ya walk? Right flank, fall in! You're down a man!"

Cady hops and hobbles her way to the end of the route and sits down on the curb, cradling her ankle and sobbing.

"Are your folks around?"

Cady shakes her head. "Re-Regina's take-taking me home."

Her coach hums and nods. "She ran off. Hope she's okay, too. Dang, kid, that looks gnarly."

That only makes Cady cry harder. What if I just did my last flip?

"I'll uh... go keep an eye out for George," her coach says. She does have the decency to bring Cady her bag. Cady debates texting her parents to let them know, but they're probably already halfway to Peoria. And they were so excited about the keynote, she can't drag them away from that. She'll just have to suck it up.

The pain is... almost bearable. It's not, but she doesn't exactly have much choice. Her sobs slow, and before too long she's just sniffling on the side of the road and holding her sore leg.

She about jumps out of her skin when she hears a, "Caddy!"

"Jesus Christ, Janis! There's people around here!" Cady hisses. Janis' face falls a little.

"Sorry."

"What are you doing here?" Cady asks more gently.

"There's already like, seventy different people sharing videos of you and Regina falling, what the hell happened?"

"I think the Kälteen bars backfired," Cady sniffs, shutting one eye as a wave of pain radiates from her ankle.

Janis frowns. "What do you mean?"

"She's gained so much weight her costume didn't fit," Cady explains through half-grit teeth.

Janis snorts. Cady glares at her. "Sorry."

"She safety pinned it on and it broke and I slipped on the costume," Cady continues. "And I fucked up my landing and I think my ankle is broken."

"Yikes," Janis says in concern.

"She was supposed to take me home," Cady says, trying to stretch out her leg and wincing in pain. Janis winces too.

"Damian and I will take you to the hospital, don't worry about it," Janis says immediately.

"Don't- ow- don't you have Stevie with you?" Cady asks in concern.

"Nah, she wanted to go to her friend's house, I'm free of the child until tonight," Janis replies. "Can I see?"

Cady looks at her hesitantly. Janis looks back. She doesn't push. There are a lot of people around. But Cady needs the comfort of her girlfriend right now. She nods.

Janis carefully eases her stupid jingly boot off her foot, pausing whenever Cady makes a pained noise. By the end Cady has her bottom lip so firmly between her teeth she can taste blood and her eyes screwed shut. It's still not enough to stop a few pained tears slipping out and down her face.

It becomes quickly apparent that Janis has absolutely no idea what she's doing. She gives Cady's foot a gentle, inquisitive poke and pulls back like she's been burned when Cady squeaks in pain. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Cady says, looking at her through squinted eyes and trying to remember how to breathe.

"It's pretty swollen," Janis says in concern. "And bruising already."

Cady sniffs again, looking down at her stupid candy-cane patterned lap. Janis gently tips her chin up.

"It'll be okay, Cads," she murmurs.

"But what if it's not?" Cady hiccups. "What if I never walk on it again? What if I can never do another flip?"

"And what if it's totally fine? What if it turns out to just be a bad sprain and you're back on your feet in a week?" Janis retaliates.

Cady feels her lip tremble. Janis might be right.

But they both know she's not.

"They're coming, hide," Cady says when she hears the cheers coming down the road. Thank god Damian's almost here.

Janis looks at her oddly, sadly, but she obediently ducks behind the tree line to wait for the crowd of people they actually know to clear out.

"Cads! Hey, coach told me you fell, what the hell, babe?!" Damian says as soon as he sees her, sprinting full tilt over to her. "Oh, yikes."

"Is it bad?" Cady asks, feeling tears brimming behind her eyes yet again.

"It's not... great," Damian replies hesitantly. "Can you move it?"

Cady sniffles. "I don't know, I haven't tried."

"Can I?"

Cady nods. Damian carefully braces her ankle with his large, warm hand and gives her foot a gentle wiggle. Several people look in their direction at the noise Cady makes in response.

"Alright, well," Damian says in a voice a solid three octaves higher than normal.

"I'm sorry," Cady sobs.

"Babe, shh," Damian soothes. "I will donate you one of my feet if I have to. We'll go get you patched up and all that, don't worry about it."

"But how will you be a big Broadway star someday if you only have one foot?" Cady giggles wetly.

"I'll manage. Is that Janis peeping at me through the bushes over there?"

"Probably," Cady replies with another giggle. She turns around and sees a familiar pair of blue eyes poked out from behind a gnarled old tree trunk. Janis ducks back behind it when she sees she's been spotted, and Cady smiles. "Yeah. Dork."

Damian smiles too. "She really loves you. Let me text her so she doesn't get picked up for stalking or some shit."

"She does?" Cady sniffles.

"Girl, are you kidding? We haven't had a conversation where you haven't come up at least once since September," Damian says absently as he taps out a message to Janis.

Janis is close enough that they hear her phone ping and her muffled, "Shit!" Cady can't help but laugh.

"Alright, she'll meet us at the car and we'll take you to the hospital."

"Thanks, papa elf," Cady grins. Damian laughs and tosses Cady onto his back to carry her the half-mile back to the parking lot. "These bells are infuriating."

"I think they're fun," Damian replies, a hand over his heart. He wiggles his head to make his hat jingle for emphasis. Cady giggles.

"Thanks for taking me home. I dunno what happened to Regina," Cady says quietly.

"Nobody does, she disappeared after the... incident," Damian replies. Cady frowns.

"Weird."

"I took over on your side so it was still balanced, but apparently she just ran off naked through the woods. Guess you can cross that off your list," Damian says. Cady laughs.

"You make a great elf," she replies. "Your ear keeps poking me, though."

"Sorry," Damian chuckles. "Alright, madam, we have arrived at your chariot."

"'Sup nerds," Janis greets, pushing herself off Damian's mom's car with a small salute.

"Caddy gets front seat privileges, she's broken."

"Ugh!" Janis groans sarcastically. Cady giggles.

"Um, actually... can I sit in the back with you?" she mumbles shyly.

Janis smirks. "We gonna make out?"

Cady rolls her eyes. "Corndog."

"What?!" Damian giggles.

"Is that not right?" Cady replies shyly.

"Did you just call me a corndog?!" Janis cackles.

"Someone tell me what I meant to say!" Cady insists.

Damian barely manages to put her down safely before he almost collapses to the ground in laughter. "Did-did you mean horndog?"

"Yes!" Cady says. "Stop laughing, it's not funny!"

"Yes it is!" Janis chokes through her laughter.

"People are staring, shut up!" Cady hisses. "Stop laughing!"

"Okay, okay," Damian says, wiping tears from his eyes. "Get in, sluts and slurs."

As soon as the doors close, Janis and Damian burst into laughter again. Damian can barely turn the key to start the car, he's laughing so hard. "I didn't mean to say corndog, stop laughing."

"You're so cute," Janis hums, still giggling to herself. "How's the ankle doing?"

"Hurts," Cady sighs.

Janis pouts and pulls Cady into a cuddle. Cady leans into her shoulder with a wince as another burst of pain radiates up her leg. "Poor baby."

—-

After an interesting drive to the nearest urgent care, Janis scoops Cady out and carries her baby-style into the waiting room. The pain is starting to get to Cady again, and she winces and cries quietly as Janis cradles her in her lap.

Luckily, people are so focused on their own injuries or other ailments that two Christmas elves and their art freak barely catch their eye. There's a mother there with a clearly sick little boy snuffling into her shoulder, a duo of frat bros who are clearly drunk and each cradling one arm close to their chest, and an old man in the corner filling out a crossword puzzle from 2011.

"How did your hat survive that whole thing?" Janis asks as Damian plops into the seat next to them with Cady's paperwork.

"I glued it to my head," Cady sniffs. Damian drops his pen in shock.

"You what?!"

"Only in the front, I used clips in the back," Cady replies. Damian sighs and rests his hand on his chest.

"Do not scare me like that," he replies. "Cads, when's your birthday?"

"July thirtieth," Cady says softly.

"Hey, my birthday's in July too!" Damian says. "Twinsies."

Cady can't help but giggle at his desperate attempt to cheer her up. "When's yours?"

"The thirteenth," Damian says.

"Man, I'm still the baby!" Cady huffs. "Miss January over here."

"Not my fault my parents know how to celebrate Easter," Janis shrugs. Cady gasps.

"Janis Sarkisian, we are in public!"

"Whatcha gonna do about it, tiny?" Janis retaliates. "Since we are in public."

"Hmph," Cady grumbles. She cuddles closer into her girlfriend's warm neck.

"You okay?" Janis whispers against her forehead.

"Hurts," Cady whispers back. "Are they gonna see us soon?"

"Probably not," Janis sighs.

Damian goes to hand in her paperwork at the front desk. Beyond that, all they can do is wait.

-

And wait they do. But, eventually, a nurse calls Cady's name and Janis stands to carry her back. Damian follows quickly, running after them through the winding halls.

"Alright, what seems to be the problem?" the nurse says. She does a double take when she sees the elf with one shoe on sitting on the exam table. She snorts a quick laugh but bites her lip to stop herself.

"I think I broke my ankle," Cady says softly. The doctor looks down at her one exposed foot and winces.

"It looks like that might be the case, hon. What happened?" the nurse asks, taking Cady's vitals. "Cross your arm over your chest."

Cady does when she fastens a blood pressure cuff around her wrist. "Um, I was in the parade this morning and I slipped on... something. I fumbled a flip and landed on it weird."

"Did you hear a pop when you landed or was it just a feeling?"

"I heard something pop, and I can't put any weight on it," Cady says anxiously. "And it's a little numb, and kinda... tingly, I guess."

"Mm," the nurse hums. "I'm gonna try and move it a bit, you let me know if anything hurts, alright?" Cady nods and braces as the mere brush of her fingertips against her ankle sends more waves of pain flooding up her whole leg and out her toes. "That hurt?"

"Mmhmm," Cady squeaks.

"Hm," the nurse hums again. "I'm gonna get the doctor to get you an x-ray, alright?

"Thank you," Cady says. She looks down at her lap with a quiet sniffle. She shakes her other foot and humphs at the jingle she gets in response.

"You okay, Peanut?" Janis asks quietly.

"What if it is actually broken?" Cady asks desperately. "I'm the head flyer, broken bones take so long to heal! It'll be weeks before I'm back in, what are they gonna-"

"We have protocols for this kinda thing, Cads, it'll be okay," Damian says. "We get injured all the time. I broke my wrist cheering in middle school and everything was fine. You just gotta take your time to heal."

"But-"

"If it is broken and you try to do anything you could hurt yourself permanently," Janis says. "Repetitive fractures? You have to rest. And we don't know for sure that it's broken yet, it might just be a bad sprain."

Cady sighs and nods. "Thanks for coming with me."

"Anytime, babe," Damian says, gently wrapping an arm around her shoulders and resting his head against hers. Cady blinks as his elf ear almost pokes her in the eye. Janis joins in too, and gets a jingle bell up the nose.

Her little crew gets left behind as Cady hops after the doctor towards the x-ray room. She holds as still as she can on the uncomfortable table and listens to the deafening clunks of the machine as it whirls around her foot. It's so loud she's a little worried it'll explode, but the doctor eventually returns from behind the lead partition and leads her back to her room to wait for the results.

It's a very quick wait.

"Your ankle is broken," the doctor says as soon as she walks into the room.

Cady feels her face crumple, and Janis wraps her in a tight hug as Cady lets out a quiet sob. "It's okay, Peanut, shh."

"It'll heal fine, no surgery needed. We call it a nondisplaced fracture, so none of your bones have actually moved out of where they're meant to be. You just need a cast for a little bit and you should be back to normal."

"So-so I'll still-still be able to-to cheer?"

"Not for six to eight weeks, but yes," the doctor replies with a smile. Janis squeezes her tighter as Cady releases a sob of relief.

"I told you," she murmurs, kissing Cady's cheek. Cady sniffles and leans into her shoulder. She needs Janis right now.

"Technically you broke your leg, the bottom part of your fibula here, and there's a hairline fracture in part of your tibia. But they're not displaced enough for you to need surgery, just a cast and no weight bearing for a good while."

"O-okay," Cady sniffs.

"You might wanna... de-elf yourself before we get the cast on, though. Unless you want to keep those tights for a few weeks."

Cady takes the wheel of possible cast colors and the pajamas Damian hands her from her bag. "These are cute! Where'd they come from?"

"Janis got them for me," Cady says with a sniffle as the doctor leaves and Janis and Damian both turn around to give her some privacy to change.

"Oh, did she now? How very soft of her," Damian hums. Janis shoves him. Damian sticks his tongue out in her general direction, unable to tell quite where she is with his hands firmly over his eyes.

"Shut up," Janis responds.

"Stop fighting, you can turn around now," Cady says once she's back in her comfy pajamas. "Which color cast should I get?"

"What's your favorite color?" Damian asks.

"Yellow," Cady replies.

"The purple is cool too," Janis says, tapping the little swatch of it. Cady nods.

Damian leans in close to see all the options. "I like the green."

"I like green," Cady acknowledges. "The Plastics will kill me if I get anything except pink, though."

"Pfft, who cares about them? Regina did this to you," Janis scoffs.

"Because we made her gain weight," Cady retaliates. "This light pink is cute."

"Do whatever you want, Cupcake."

"Cupcake?" Damian responds immediately, accompanied with a gag.

"Look at this little faaaaace," Janis coos, leaning harder into it and squishing Cady's cheeks rather than trying to fend off her friend. Cady goes along with it too, batting her eyelashes coquettishly at him. "Isn't she just the cutest widdle thing?"

"You two are gonna ruin my life together, aren't you?"

“Mm-hmm!" Cady hums happily, her cheeks still smushed in her girlfriend's hand. Damian rolls his eyes. Janis gives Cady's squished-out lips a kiss before she lets her go and smirks at her friend.

"You're the one who was literally speechless for four hours after we told you we were dating," she responds.

"I was in shock, shut up."

"Because your matchmaking never works?"

Damian huffs. "Whatever, it does."

"Name one time."

"This!" Damian insists, gesturing frantically between the two of them. Janis rolls her eyes.

"Whatever you say, Princess," she replies. Damian smiles.

"Thank you."

The doctor returns towards the tail end of that argument and shoots Cady a confused look. Cady just shrugs a little. She hands back all the cast swatches and goes with the light pink she had liked. She does really like it, and the Plastics won't crucify her for it. Well, they might anyway for what happened at the parade, and for needing a clunky, bulky cast in the first place. But at least this'll show she has decent taste and the ability to match.

Janis and Damian each take and squeeze one of her hands as her bones are painfully squished back where they need to be and wrapped in layers upon layers of fabric. The pink shell finishes the job, and Janis asks the doctor for a Sharpie so she and Damian can be the first to sign it.

"Do it small," Cady insists. Damian shoots her a strange look, but they both sign their names in the smallest letters they can right by her toes. Janis adds a little heart by hers for good measure. "Thanks, guys."

Cady gets fit for a set of crutches. It takes a while and she ends up with kids size ones, but eventually she's clicking slowly across the parking lot and finally on her way home.

"Jan, you wanna come over?" Damian asks. Cady pouts a little. She knows he and Janis are best friends, and that they definitely hang out without her sometimes, but it's not like Damian to ask with Cady right there.

"Nah, I gotta go get Stevie," Janis replies. Damian nods. Cady is confused when they pull into Janis' driveway. She should've been dropped off first. Her house is much further out of the way. "Bye Peanut."

Cady returns the kiss she gives. "Bye, baby."

Damian gags in the front seat. "Bye, dumbass."

"Bye, slut," Janis replies, blowing him a kiss as she climbs out of the car in the most complicated way she can and runs into her house.

Damian puts the car back in gear and keeps driving. Cady is more confused when they pull into his driveway. He turns the car off and gets out, leaving Cady alone in the backseat.

"You coming?" he asks, knocking on her window upon noticing she hasn't moved. Cady jumps.

“You're not taking me home?"

"I am not leaving you alone to navigate that house with one foot. But I'll take you home if you'd rather be there," Damian responds.

Cady shakes her head. "No. No, uh... thanks."

"Of course," Damian replies. "Now come on, cripple, my mom'll make us milkshakes."

"Your mom?" Cady asks with a smile.

"Oh, shit, you haven't met her yet! Uh, be ready for like, a lot of hugs. And she might cry. She's a big empath."

"Okay," Cady giggles. "She sounds great."

"She is," Damian says with a small smile. He unlocks the door and drops their stuff in the small area for shoes and coats and bags. "Ma, I'm home! And I brought Cady!"

Stanley comes running down the hall as soon as she hears the door. Damian protectively stands in front of Cady so the excited pup doesn't knock her over, but Cady smiles and rests her crutches against the wall so she can give the sweet little thing some scritches. "Hi, Stanley! How are you, baby girl?! Oh, yes, hi! I missed you too!"

"Stanley, gentle, Caddy's broken," Damian says. Stanley actually does calm a little bit, sniffing curiously at Cady and wagging her entire rear end instead of jumping on her like she did last time.

"Hey, baby girl!" Damian's mother greets, coming down the hallway in such a blaze of glory that it's immediately apparent where Damian gets his showmanship from. Cady looks up and smiles as she wraps him in a hug.

"Hi Ma," Damian responds, hugging his mom back and handing Cady her crutches again.

"How was the parade?" his mom asks, leading the two of them down the hall. She clocks Cady hobbling after them, then. "Ah."

"Yeah, she broke her ankle," Damian responds.

"At the parade?! Oh, honey!" his mom says immediately, wrapping Cady in such a tight hug she thinks she hears a few of her ribs pop. "You poor thing! Oh, come in, come in, sit down. Damian, help her to the living room, come on now."

"Can we go to my room instead?" Damian asks. His mom rolls her eyes.

"Yes, go ahead. It's on this floor, Cady, don't worry baby."

"Thanks, Ms. Hubbard," Cady replies with a smile. She gets another tight hug and actually has to cough a little when she's released to get her breathing back in a normal rhythm.

"Of course, baby! What kind of milkshakes do y'all want?"

"Oreo?" Damian suggests. Ms. Hubbard looks to Cady, and she nods eagerly. "Please."

"Coming right up."

"Thank you," Cady says as she's off back to the kitchen.

"Don't mention it, baby!" she calls back.

"Your mom is great," Cady says. Damian nods. Cady squeaks in surprise as he hauls her onto his back and starts carrying her down the hall towards his bedroom next to the garage.

"She is."

"She's very comforting," Cady continues. Damian nods again. "I see where you get it from."

"D'aww, thanks," Damian coos. He's actually blushing a little bit, and Cady smiles as he rests her down on his cushy bed. He fusses over her like a worried mother, helping her take her makeup and ears off as Cady looks around his bedroom for the first time. She's been here before for movie nights, but only ever in the basement.

None of the actual drywall is visible; completely plastered over with posters of drag queens and black-and-white photos of old Broadway stars. Cady can barely breathe for Judy Garland and Cher and RuPaul. There's fairy lights of all colors hanging from the crown molding, illuminating and twinkling over a full wall of Playbills in protective clear plastic sleeves. The furniture is a bit plain by comparison, but it all just feels like Damian's spirit has exploded into the room. It's amazing.

"Your room is so cool," Cady says.

"Thanks!"

"You have a lot of Playbills," Cady continues. "Have you actually seen that many shows?"

"God, no," Damian chuckles. "The top row there are the only ones I've seen in person, the rest are from eBay."

"Cool," Cady replies.

"Has Janis taught you about musicals yet?"

Cady shakes her head with a smile. "She said she wouldn't be able to do it justice."

Damian snorts. "Yeah, right. She just doesn't want to sit through them."

"She doesn't like them?"

"She only watches them once a year on my birthday and if I sing a lyric that could even approach being from a musical she'll punch me in the jugular."

"Really?"

Damian nods, fiddling with the mouse to wake up the computer and typing in his pin. "You've brought a lot of her walls down. So... thanks for that."

"I'm glad," Cady replies softly. "She deserves it."

"She does," Damian agrees. He shrugs suddenly. "Anyway, what do you want to watch?"

"You pick. I don't know anything," Cady giggles. Damian nods and opens a folder full of bootlegs. He murmurs the titles under his breath until he lands on a good first musical for her.

"Ooh! Okay, here, you'll love this one. The movie is good too, but the stage production is amazing."

Cady cuddles into his arm and peeks at the file name. She squeals, "Lions?!"

"Lions is an understatement for The Lion King," Damian says. Cady wiggles excitedly as he opens it and makes it full screen. "Can you see?"

"Mmhmm. Thanks, D."

"Anytime, Little Slice."

His mom pops in with their milkshakes a few minutes in and seems completely unphased seeing her son cuddled up with a girl she's known for fifteen minutes. Apparently this is normal for him. "Thank you, Ms. Hubbard."

"You're welcome, sweet girl. Y'all just holler if you need anything, alright? Ooh, Lion King. That's a good one," she replies as she leaves again.

"Cady's from Kenya," Damian explains.

"No shit?" his mom replies, making Cady choke on her milkshake in shock.

"Um, yeah, I just moved here this summer," she says.

"Ain't that something. Alright, have fun, you two."

"Thanks, Ma," Damian says as she shuts the door behind her.

They sip at their tasty milkshakes while they watch. Cady might be in love. She's immediately bopping along to all the musical numbers and oohing and aahing over the special effects.

Damian looks at her expectantly when the curtain call is over.

"That was so cool!" she squeals. "Can we watch it again?"

Damian laughs. "I'm glad you liked it. You like musicals now?"

Cady nods eagerly. "Yeah."

"Good," Damian says with a victorious smirk. He takes a picture of them cuddled up together and sends it to Janis with a caption reading, I win Caddy likes musicals. He gets an eye roll emoji in response and clicks off his phone with a smug grin. "Let's try something else, but we'll come back if you want to after."

"Okaaaaay," Cady huffs jokingly.

They watch about four more, occasionally shifting positions to keep comfy on Damian's plush bed. The milkshakes are long gone, but neither of them care.

"Thanks for taking care of me," Cady murmurs after the last one. Damian gently bumps into her.

"Anytime. Sorry Janis was busy, I know she wanted to be the one to kidnap you."

"No, it's okay," Cady says immediately. "I love her, but she'd be so worried she'd barely let me move. Not that that's bad, she's just... a lot, sometimes."

"You love her, eh?" Damian teases. Cady blushes. "Oh, shit, do you?"

"I mean... we've only been dating for a month," Cady begins hesitantly. "But... I might... already love her, like, a lot."

"D'aaawww, my little gaybies," Damian squeals.

"Shut up," Cady scoffs.

"She loves you too," Damian says matter-of-factly.

Cady looks at him. "She does?"

"I told you earlier. This bitch will not shut up about you. I've never seen her like this. It's kind of freaky," Damian chuckles. "Always, have you seen Caddy's eyes up close? They're such a pretty green. And she's sooooo tiiiiny, she just fits in my arms like a puzzle."

"She did not say that."

"On RuPaul she did."

Cady blinks. "Did I break her?"

"Honestly? Maybe. But I like it. She's annoying sometimes, but this Janis seems... healthier."

"Good," Cady replies.

"You, on the other hand," Damian replies, looking pointedly at her left foot. Cady giggles.

"It's fixed, I'll be okay," she replies.

"You got lucky there, kid. I really thought you were gonna need surgery," Damian says.

"I did too, honestly," Cady admits.

"...And now I think about it, Regina is a little chubbier."

"Right? It totally worked!" Cady squeals. Damian laughs. "Now we just have to get people to stop treating her like the queen bee and get Aaron out of her clutches."

"Godspeed, soldier. Doing the lord's work," Damian says with a salute. Cady giggles. "Do you, like, wanna go home?"

Cady sighs. "I should."

"Bitch, is that what I asked? Do you want to or not?" Damian insists.

"I mean... it's always weird there without my parents," Cady mumbles, fidgeting with her fingers. "But I don't wanna impose."

"Hold on," Damian says. Cady jumps when he turns his head to the side and hollers, "Ma!"

"What?!" his mother yells back.

"Can Cady sleep over?!"

"Her folks okay with it?!"

"Your folks okay with it?" Damian asks Cady in a much, much softer tone. Cady nods in confusion. Damian yells back, "Yeah!"

"Then she's always welcome! Dinner's in half an hour!" his mom replies.

"Thank you!" Cady yells.

"You're welcome, baby!"

"See? Problem solved," Damian says. Cady giggles.

"You're the best, D."

"And don't you forget it."

————-

thank you for reading!!

i have a oneshot coming for y'all on wednesday that i'm very (cautiously) excited about and am working myself to the bone trying to get the next chapter of this and another oneshot done per my usual "schedule" if you can call it that lol.

i apologize for not being more prepared but i spent most of february auditioning for the tour!! so that took a lot of my focus but it's done now and i am back in as full of a swing as i can get lol.

so fingers crossed! and if i don't get it done in time you'll just get three of each with my next round of fics :)

thank you all so much again for being here. i love every little one of you muppets so dearly.

lots of love,

ezzy

[cptn-m]

One Piece chapter 1123 review

The idea of arcs and sagas as a two-tier approach to story structure exists mostly in fan wikis rather than officially released material, but it was an effective way to show how a lot of the overarching pre-timeskip stories came together over multiple islands. Post-timeskip, that model became largely irrelevant as everything started to point towards Wano as one massive saga made up of old-saga-length arcs. But here we are again, at what can only be described as the start of a new saga, for the first time in a dozen years.

Yes, Egghead has a self-contained story locked to its local setting, as all arcs in all sagas have, but as the crew sails away from its ending, we realise how much is left up in the air. Bonney and Kuma got symbolic blows in on the architect of their suffering and are out of immediate danger, but they don't yet have a place to settle. I was a little surprised that this final act of Egghead didn't address more directly how much of Kuma's mind can still be salvaged. This chapter raises questions about what death means for a consciousness as fragmented as Vegapunk's, and what the implications are of a satellite surviving instead of the stella. The Seraphim remain a threat, beaten only offscreen using easy-win technology the crew won't have access to again. Overarching villains have been teased, but circumstances aligned to prevent a direct confrontation. It's like being at the end of, say, Whiskey Peak again. Act one of something much, much bigger.

The cover story's quick resolution to the kids' assault on Yamato rings true to the way Oda has tackled themes of prejudice in the past. Think of Hody, who harboured all this hatred based only on the stories told to him by the adults in his life. He was too far gone, but these kids are young enough to have their horizons broadened if other influences are offered. Putting hate to rest by getting to know each other over food and drink feels like a very One Piece thing to do.

But does Oda intend to test this idea by giving Yamato an enemy who won't be so easily brought to the table?

The opening scenes ease in slowly, (enough so that I wonder if this could be the start of volume 111 instead of the last chapter) and let the fallout of the last chapter's ending simmer, but S-Snake's consciousness is a detail worth noting. Are the Seraphim that strong, or are they instead that inhuman?

And in a key example of why I didn't try to fit an Egghead reread and full arc review in last week, Vegpaunk's flashback comes right in on the home stretch to fill in gaps and provide the bigger picture. Weekly reading can be tough. You just don't have the full story until you have the full story.

But the timing's good for this actually. My copy of volume 106 came in last week and obviously got a read when it did, and a lot of the stuff here builds on things in that volume.

Vegapunk's personality comes through hard here, and it's been consistent from the start. He's a genius when it comes to tech, but he has massive blind spots when it comes to people and politics, as well as simply not knowing what genre of story he's in. His choices were probably not the optimal way to handle the situation, but they were undeniably the Vegapunk way to do it. Look back to the start of the arc and Vegapunk's passion for the ideas of infinite energy and widespread access to information. Of course he's not going to dismantle the Mother Flame before the Government can take it, he wants to perfect it so the whole world can use it. Is that playing with fire, risking handing an authoritarian empire a power source for their ultimate weapon? Werner von Punk hasn't concerned himself with the negative potential of his ideas before. Watch him dismiss Jinbe's concerns about the Punk Records database being poisoned by ideologically-driven misinformation. That stuff is not his department, he just wants to finish building things. Vegapunk sold out on his revolutionary sympathies to get Government funding; we see him debate Dragon over this choice. All of these factors run consistently into a personality that would milk the status quo for as long as possible, and try to finish as much work as possible, with his last act of rebellion set to go off only in the event of his death.

His perspective on the decision not to run makes sense as well. The World Government seems so large and so inevitable to a person who has to live with it. Even in lawless lands, the idea of being iced quietly by a Cipher Pol operative would scan as a real threat. Even Wano wasn't safe from that kind of thing. I can see how running seemed pointless in his circumstances. At least staying on Egghead, the assassins ring the front doorbell and give you a moment to make peace. And, of course, the chance for a death that's bombastic and impossible to come up. What would have happened to his countermeasure if the Government had launched a smear campaign to discredit him and reattribute his accomplishments to others the moment he fled? This way, Vegapunk's narrative gets out first.

Now, this is a Shonen manga where a big million to one play of determination and defiance would have been rewarded, like the Strawhats declaring war on the whole Government for Robin, but we can't expect Vegapunk to know he's in that kind of story.

A very interesting point of emphasis in this section of the story is the Cloud Plant. The Buster Call sure as hell didn't care to spare it, but it's the place Edison was last seen before his signal went dead. If he came to the same conclusion about its importance as Vegapunk-stella does here while hearing the broadcast, he might have gone offline deliberately and made off with a vital component needed to recreate the technology on the run. My stance was 'died from his injuries until Oda gives a reason to think otherwise,' and this feels just vague enough to make a reason. The next cover story could be his and Stussy's great escape from the burning island, slipping onto a ship or through the blockade while everyone else is knocked out by Emet's Haki bomb. Let's stick a pin in that one.

And we also get the question of what it means for Vegapunk to die, with his brain separate from his body, and his mind duplicated across half a dozen androids. The lines are blurry; the clones can seemingly share the stella's memories from before they were created - seen through Shaka being the one to trigger the brief flashback to the aftermath of Ohara. But there's also a heirarchy. We're told its the satellites' duty to die to protect the stella, as if there's something special or extra about him that the others lack. But the lack of significant mourning or atmosphere of loss over the stella may be because Oda intends us to think Vegapunk lives on through Lilith. Again, things still to explore.

Now the memory erasure. To be honest, this one does feel a little like it was done for the drama. They've managed to not let anything slip and keep the information from syncing with Punk Records for two weeks as they set up and execute their contingency, but now it's a threat that something could come out? Okay, but then he leaves a note revealing everything short of the traitor's identity anyway. Surely the a scientist's curious need to investigate the claims on the note would cause more disruption than just holding onto the lie. No, this one was done mainly to keep Vegapunk from giving the whole game away to the Strawhats as soon as they arrive.

On the flip side, the conversation with Sanji fills in a gap I remember talking about as it happened. Why did Vegapunk disappear from Sanji's side and wander back into the fire off screen when he was poised to escape? I'd said there felt like there was a beat missing there, and here it is. Good work closing that hole, Oda.

This is running long already, so I won't go too deep into Elbaf expectations from the last page. There'll be plenty of time for that in the months to come, but I'm pleased to see it looking like something Oda's excited to draw, with that same passionate energy as the introduction of Wano. He's been waiting for this, and so have we. Looking forward to watching this final saga continue to develop next week!

(Read on my Wordpress)

[omgkalyppso]

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Thank you for the ask! (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

I do like that post that's going around that says Do It Bored. Because creativity can feel illusive, but forward motion is forward motion. And wrt writer's block, having other projects to explore can only take you so far until you're overladen with WIPs in my experience. One of the better pieces of writer's block advice for me is that your problem is 10 lines ago, or w/e. I'm more accustomed to cutting out whole sections and paragraphs, and my god it hurts to write 300 words and instantly be like Wait No but it happens. Put the words in another notes document, you might need them again, and move on.

Work that I feel doesn't have to be to my own standards, and can just exist, is easier to finish. Because it doesn't need to be the most beautiful, poetic, insightful, or even the most grammatically correct piece of writing on the pile. Sometimes you just have to write a guy standing still, or lying on his back, in the case of my recent Shahid fic.

Trying to convince myself the same for my next bg3 wip I've gone back to. That it doesn't have to be to my own standards, it just has to be done so I can enjoy writing the next thing, which I want to do.

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

#1 below the cut: Okay so the actual last thing in my notes app is that someone in a discord server asked what your oc's tinder profile would be, and this is as far as I got (some not oc's). Because this is so humiliating, I'm sharing more.

The second last thing is blocked dialogue that turned into the Shahid fic.

#2 below the cut: The third last is blocked dialogue that will either never see the light of day or need to be completely rewritten between Étoile and Halsin. I'll share Halsin's first line / maybe the only one worth keeping.

The fourth last is blocked dialogue that is becoming my swtor fic.

#3 below the cut: The fifth last is blocked dialogue that may or may not become a fic between my oc Determination and bg3's rolan.

#1

Étoile: Looking for long term casual flings or partners. Faedolyn: Opinionated Av Claude: Lorenz: I am looking to fall in love. Must be willing to have a first date within 4 days of initial message to keep from wasting each other's time. 6'2 Hilda: Sylvain: Attention Deserves Healthy Distribution, and I will shower you in mine. Spontaneity. Seduction. Silliness? Let's share a drink and a laugh, and maybe something more.

#2

Part of me feared that you would return to Astarion and either of you would decide I was … too much. Regardless of whether you would continue to have a more … open relationship. I am presently relieved that is not the case. Although I admit my anxieties yet linger. It is no thoughtless habit that I have chosen to call you my heart, Étoile.

#3

Determination: I've come to say goodb— Rolan: Please stay. Determination: Rolan. Rolan: There have been several occasions where we were parted, where if it had been the last time, it would have been fine. We were strangers, or you thought I was an ass or I thought— Far less of you than I should have. Determination: Rolan— Rolan: Please. These past few weeks have meant the world to me. If you go back to Reithwin you will be taking my heart with you, I know it, and what good will I be here, with no passion to apply to magic, to life— Determination: You exaggerate— Rolan: Minna, please. I … I won't be able to rest, worrying you're unsafe. I won't be able to concentrate, imagining — Mystra preserve me — imagining another taking you to dinner, holding your hand, stroking your hair. Determination: I greatly enjoy your company Rolan, but for now, my passions lead me away. I can serve my God and her daughter. I can help a village in her name. I would not ask you go leave the Tower. Rolan: That's not fair. Determination: If the temple in Baldur's Gate has need of me, then I will return. Rolan: I— Determination: Don't. Rolan: I'm happy for you. Determination: I wish you meant that. Rolan: I am! I do. It's just that I've come to be so fond of you that I am losing myself. But I'll find the pieces. I will … be fine. Determination: You will. Rolan: Minna— Determination: Goodbye, Rolan.

[evanyaglad]

The Compromise (JaTD/Janther fanfic)

I don't claim to know much about medieval history. Although accuracy within canon and time-periods have always been things important to me in fandoms. So I will tentatively be dancing around the character's ages in this fic. I want people to be able to interpret the ages with how they feel comfortable. Meanwhile, I will be attempting to keep things historically accurate with whatever Google tells me is correct. I found this article that seems to cover all topics in a straight forward manner, so it's my main point of reference as of the writing of this chapter. https://www.medievaltimes.com/education/medieval-era/marriage I don't plan to upload all the chapters to Tumblr, so please follow it on FF or Ao3 if you want updates. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14279425/1/The-Compromise https://archiveofourown.org/works/50150686/chapters/126652345

It had been a whole year since the last ball. The ball that Jane stubbornly didn't go to despite the princess' pleas. With the event coming up again in a month, Jane knew her mother would be hounding her soon about the "dress" subject. She was trying to keep herself so busy with knightly chores that her mother wouldn't have the chance to talk to her. Unfortunately, today was particularly slow. Mainly because she had been completing all the chores in record time and there was now none left until the day after tomorrow. All this work left her tired and sore but she tried to act as if everything was normal. The last thing she needed was anyone asking questions about the embarrassing subject.

Today, Jane found herself sparring with Gunther in the training yard while Dragon was sitting on his favorite spot on the wall taking a nap. They had been at it for about a half and hour now, neither willing to yield first. Although her muscles desperately craved for it to end, her pride wouldn't allow it. Within the year, Jane's relationship with Gunther had changed from when she started her knight training. The journey for sky-leaf on the far side of the mountain gave them a basic level of respect for each other. From there, an odd form of friendship started, although they still teased each other relentlessly and their rivalry was as strong as ever. Not to mention, she did not want Gunther to see her in a dress. This thought clung in her mind as she saw her mother approaching out of the corner of her eye. This laps in focus is all Gunther needed to get the upper hand in their battle, smacking her wooden sword aside and holding his staff to her neck. His face was as smug as ever and Jane knew things were about to get a whole lot worse.

Jane raised her sore arms dejectedly, "yield"

"I guess extra credit doesn't make you a better knight, hm?" Gunther sneered, obviously upset by all the praise she'd earned from Sir Theodore these past couple of days.

Before she could defend herself, her mother's shrill voice pieced the air as she drew closer, "Jaaaane, dear, you've been avoiding me all week. I really need you to try on the gown I got you for the ball, so I can have the seamstress make adjustments." Her stare was threatening. Jane could tell she was attempting to keep her cool, even though she hadn't even acknowledged Gunther's presence yet. Who had taken a few awkward steps back from the two.

Jane spared a glance towards him and saw realization flicker through his eyes before they hardened into something troublesome. She knew she had to say something before he had the chance, "Mother, I told you before, I will not be wearing a gown to the ball." Her teeth were clenched as she tried and was failing to act normal.

"I'm sorry Jane but this year the King has insisted you come on account of the Princess," Jane's mother replied almost before Jane could finish.

"Then I shall wear my knight tunic," Jane attempted to sound firm in front of Gunther, although she was afraid of angering her mother and escalating the situation.

"Unfortunately for you I have already spoken to your father and he supports me on this decision," Adeline said as she turned to leave, "Come along now."

Jane was stunned by that revelation. Her father supported her last year, so she wondered what made him change his mind this time. She awkwardly locked eyes with Gunther again as she debated on what to do.

"Go on now, fair lady. I'm sure that dress will match your 'rough and tough' image perfectly," Gunther teased as he walked off laughing that infuriating laugh that made Jane want to slap him.

Dragon at some point had woken up during the conversation, "I could force him to wear a dress to the ball," he said in a mock threat.

Jane giggled despite the circumstances and turned her attention to her lizard friend, "Although that offer is tempting, i fear I'll have to figure something else out." She placed her practice staff back on the rack where it belonged and reluctantly followed where her mother had gone. "If I can just speak with Father, I know I can get him to change his mind."

Although her mother didn't wait up for her, Jane knew she (and the gown) was probably in her family's courters in the castle. Leaving Dragon to continue his nap, Jane passed by the kitchen, waving to Rake as she went by. "Is anything the matter, Jane?" Rake must have seen her mother's scornful face and feared the worse.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Rake. Thank you," Jane replied as he nodded and returned to his work fertilizing his garden. Jane shuddered with the knowledge it was Dragon dung and rushed along up the steps to the main garden.

As she walked, she glanced at the roses in the garden and wondered what she should say to her parents once in the castle. The gown debacle had been an issue since Jane was little and expressed a desire for knighthood. She remembered when she always used to wear a dress as she followed her mother around learning how to be a lady in waiting. She knew deep-down, that she was a disappointment to her mother. The lady-in-waiting to the Queen and Princess was a high honor. She had been blessed to be born into nobility so closely associated with royalty. She used this leverage to her own advantage to become a knight, but, as an only daughter, she knew it wasn't what her mother wanted. With her mind muddled, Jane found she had wandered to the garden fountain. Letting out a loud sigh, she sat on the rim.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of jingle bells, "A clown is just what you need to turn that frown up-side-down," he said as he took a seat beside her.

"I doubt so. It has to do with the ball, or more importantly, my mother," She said, refusing to meet his eyes as her fingers danced along the water's surface.

"Ah, 'down with the gown," he mumbled.

"How did you know?" she asked, finally meeting his eyes.

"Jane, how could your best friend forget about the events of last year?" He smiled.

"Second best friend!," Dragon's yell rang from across the castle grounds. This caused the two of them to burst out laughing.

After an embarrassing snort, Jane finally answered Jester's question, "Well, as my 'second best friend' do you have any advice for me?"

"In my expert dress-wearing opinion, I think it doesn't matter what you wear. Whether tunic or gown, you are still Jane," he said in that low and loving voice she knew he used when he was serious.

Jane appreciated the sentiment but couldn't help but add, "No one will ever take me seriously again as a knight. Especially Gunther," she groaned.

"Who cares about Gunther, anyway?" There was an edge to his tone, "He'd be left too stunned by your beauty to even think of insulting you!"

Jane knew Jester meant that as a compliment towards her instead of a real example of how Gunther would act. However, her stomach turned at the thought. Jane never saw herself as beautiful. Her lanky legs, freckled face, and wild hair was not the traditional definition of beauty. Not to mention the bruises and smell of sweat her knight training left her in. She wasn't sure what Jester saw in her, for she knew about his not-so-well-hidden crush. Nevertheless, she appreciated the gestor, "Thank you Jester, I'll keep that in mind."

As she stood up from the fountain she felt slightly better, "Well, time to face my demons," She waved goodbye to her friend before making the daunting journey into the castle. Inside, the castle the hustle and bustle was almost overwhelming. There were servants everywhere, hanging decorations, setting up tables, cleaning surfaces, and anything else one could think of preparing for the biggest party of the year. Jane's heart began to race with excitement. The Grand Ball was her favorite event the castle hosted and she was still disappointed in herself for missing it last year. Although she tried to convince herself she wouldn't have done anything differently. This thought brought her back to reality as she remembered the reason she was even in here. She dodged and weaved her way through the crowd, trying not to get in anyone's way. The movements soon became like a dance to her, delicately maneuvering the area with ease. Oh how she loved this. She loved parties, people, and dancing. The sound of people talking and laughing rang as a joy filled heart-beat in her ears. A natural chorus, the music of life.

The fun ended once Jane slipped into the hallway that led up to her parent's courters. The number of servants in this area was not as abundant, so she was able to walk through without hassle. It was funny to think she grew up in these very halls. She used to follow her mother around everywhere and she even remembered the duties they preformed. After a few flights of stairs, Jane neared the door to her childhood home. The hallway felt like it was getting longer and a pit begun to grow in her stomach. Taking one last deep breath, Jane opened the door without thinking to knock. Inside, her mother was with a woman Jane didn't know but assumed was the seamstress.

"Oh my goodness and there she is!" Adeline seemed breathless, as if she didn't expect her daughter to show up. Which, admittedly, was a high probability. She quickly rushed over to her, flailing her hands around until they grabbed onto Jane's wrists, pulling her deeper into the room. All three of them turned to an alcove with a large mirror. Nearby was a beautiful long emerald colored gown with gold trimming. jane cringed knowing her parents probably spent a fortune on it. It also set her suspicions high, wondering what the special reason behind such a gorgeous dress was.

Jane was ushered up onto a stool in front of the mirror and was then stripped down and helped into the dress in question. With her mother tying up the corset in the front, Jane glanced at herself in the mirror. The dress truly was beautiful. The green shimmered as she turned to face the mirror after her mother finished. The collar was square and the sleeves bellowed at the elbow. The dress hugged her in a way that made her feel feminine. There was a silence that fell upon the women. The seamstress standing apart, waiting for instructions. While her mother stood with her hands clasped together at her face. She looked close to tears and had a wide smile. She was obviously happy with what she saw. Meanwhile, Jane felt the person she saw in the mirror was foreign. The dress didn't match the girl at all. It was soft, shiny, and perfect in every way. Jane was rough, covered in dirt, and ugly. At least, that's how she felt.

With the silence stretching out, Jane eventually realized everyone was waiting for a response from her. "I can't wear this," She blurted.

Her mother groaned dejectedly, "Jane don't be ridiculous! You are a lady of the court and this is what ladies wear!"

"I don't want to wear this!" Jane practically shouted as she turned to face her mother.

"What's wrong with it?" Adeline screeched back. The poor seamstress looked as if she wanted to become part of the wall but Jane didn't care. This had gone on too long!

"I am a knight, and knights don't wear gowns!" she begun to undo the ribbon on the front. Her face was hot but she refused to cry.

"Knights are also not women, and yet here you are!" What her mother meant by that statement, Jane wasn't sure.

There was another silence as neither women broke eye contact. Jane continued to fiddle with the corset until her mother grabbed her hands. "You have to wear it! Things have already been set in place and we can not back out of them."

That revelation ceased Jane's struggle against her mother's hands. "What things? What are you talking about?"

Adeline released her hands and turned away, as if ashamed. Her hand coming up to her mouth as she thought of what to say. Finally, she turned back to her daughter, "Jane, as you know, you are of marrying age-"

"No! You didn't!" Jane's gasp turned into a shout.

"There are many powerful men that will be attending the Ball this year, and your father and I agree this would be the prefect time for you to find a husband."

"I won't do it! You can't force me!"

"Just consider yourself lucky I'm giving you a chance to meet a man you like while at the Ball! Something could have been arranged without your involvement." The way her mother punctuated informed Jane the conversation was over.

Jane bit her tongue. If she had to guess, it wasn't just her parents that felt like marrying off a noble knight to someone of importance at the Ball would be a good political move. Her mother had told her the King insisted she come on account of the Princess, but Jane wondered just how important the guest list was this year. Either way, Jane knew she should have thought better as to think her mother wouldn't marry her off as soon as she came to age. That had always been the plan even back when she was still training to be a lady-in-waiting. Girls were nothing but property to be bought and sold for personal gain. Her mother gasped as her daughter begun ripping the dress clean off before grabbing her training gear and putting it back on.

"If you do this, mother," she turned to see her mother cradling the discarded gown, "I'll never speak to you again." With that, she left, slamming the door behind her.

[ladyazulina]

Azu is Talking - There's Something Every Week

The first week I was not ready. (Are we ever?)

The second week I was not only overwhelmed by changes, but I was also suffering from a dental procedure. (I still have to schedule a piece extraction… Funny.)

The third week I was heavily hit by a wave of depression. (Not free of it yet. Does it ever go away?)

And last week I was hormonal. (Pre, during, post. We are always hormonal, there’s no rest of it.)

This week I’m sick.

My mom got sick last weekend and it didn’t surprise me that I was already showing signs a day after. I have low defenses as they are. But there’s always something going on in my life. I should not have laughed at my friend saying that my life was way more exciting than hers, but it was really hard to believe then. I mean, I would like it not to be, but there has always been something every week. Maybe I just didn’t want to accept it. I still don’t. It doesn’t make it any less true though.

It’s as true as I lost Creative Monday. Again. I wasn’t in the best of shapes, but my body (or my mind? Both? Why not both?) demanded rest and I had to comply. There were no suggestions or questions or even options for a decision. The only thing I could do was comply. And I’m slightly wary trying to remember it because… there’s not much coming to my mind, if nothing is something I could count on and rely on.

But on Review Tuesday, I got to share, as of late, this week’s Linney’s campaign post. It was, in hindsight, all I did. And it was hard to do after two days of lying sick in bed and having to get back in full into house chores. Anyone could say it doesn’t sound like a lot, but in a four-person house, when you cease your tasks and no one fills in for you, it can get messy really fast. Don’t even let me get started on it.

Iron Valley, Linney's Campaign, is being live every Tuesday.

The only reason I’m not also delayed on Linney’s campaign is because those posts are scheduled three weeks in advance. It would have been four if I would have got to schedule this week’s one.

When I got ready to start (late, but I’m my own boss, so) with the review, there was a power outage. I assumed it was like the ones we usually have and would be back in five minutes or an hour, but it lasted seven hours. From 5pm to midnight. So I was unable to do anything else. And I got the hell frustrated about it.

The nice thing I can take about that day, though, is that before the power went out my partner let me ramble about my writing projects and stuff and I got excited again about writing and progressing on those. I have A Plan™ that consists of me finishing my TTRPG game this year so I can start with one novel next year, as The Year’s Project™. The next year’s project is not the one I’m excited about, but whatever gets me back in the game works… right? I guess.

Working Wednesday had a late start, but I did get into it. I underestimated the translating work, but I spent the whole day translating into English the first workshop I was working on. Next week will be the second one, and since that’s shorter, I believe it’s safe to assume that I will be able to upload them on Patreon? Maybe? August it is, I hope.

By then I had already received my boss’ feedback, about the [REDACTED] adventure, and apart from a few not-that-minor organization requests, he took it? My first-ever adventure? I have to edit it, maybe two rounds of editions, but… nothing major? Just… put it nicely? I still have to sit on it, but if the point is that I’m amazing... Baby, I’m amazing 💅🏼

Hahahah, okay, I have to uplift myself, alright? So, give me a minute.

A hot minute.

I also started reading an ARC, the one of the author that always asks. I tried reading the first that I received this week, but it was from an author I tried to read a previous trilogy and couldn’t progress in the first book, so… I should have seen it coming. This one, though, I’m already having fun. It has around forty chapters and I’m reading only one per day so far. I know I can pick up a better pace, but I better leave it happen on its own than force it.

Backstage Tuesday was A Day™. I did some editions for this awesome project with the cool boss and they’re so great I do enjoy working with them! I did the backstage task even though I was getting sleepy, but the promise of a coffee break with my partner made me work it without complaints. I also worked on a sample of the [REDACTED] adventure, because I was slightly confused about some things, on how to apply the editions, so I talked with my boss (I… I have two more bosses than I feel comfortable having) and we reached an agreement for the sample, and I… worked on it the rest of the day like an obsessive. Four hours and something. With a Killer Headache™. It was a weird day for me, I woke up feeling weird, not being able to place what was wrong, everything bothering me, and not wanting to engage with anything, so I’m glad I got stuff done. Very well done, on top.

I don’t remember it being that bad, though. Lots of nice memories. It’s good to know the pain isn’t taking hold of my life anymore. Some days it can be overseen.

It feels nice.

On Secret Friday, I felt productive. I sent my [REDACTED] adventure’s boss the sample and they gave me the green light to continue following that hunch because I was right. I slightly organized a collection of mine I would like to publish before the end of the year if possible. I continued editing the project (attempting to do at least a small edition per day to advance it as quickly as possible, managing it well to this day). Spent needed time with loved friends I adore and miss on a daily basis. And engaged in the Secret Thing I’m doing for my not-that-secret partner. I felt nice, working-wise, but I got free earlier than expected and though I’m usually out of commission to start new stuff after 6pm (my head starts getting fuzzy and light), I felt like I was missing something. There was something I should do, or be doing, that I did not remember. Something I should check on. Something to work with. That was not in my to-do list.

It’s hard to go over that thought when you have no hint whatsoever of what that could be. So I decided to chill out. I have been doing a good job so far, I can start resting earlier some days.

Playful Saturday was playful, heheheh I spent the whole day rereading all my playthrough in the TTRPG solo campaign before finishing it. I edited a few ways, adding some things and taking out others, but so far I’m satisfied with it. With most of it. I hate the ending with a passion, but it was the ending the game needed, so I’m not complaining… That much.

I also had a small unplanned break accompanying my mom for a walk to the supermarket. We’re trying to get everything ready so I can take a trip at the end of the year to stay with my partner for a bit and meet his family, so she also took the opportunity to ask some questions that were bothering her. I’m trying to do my best, but I hate adulthood, it stresses me way too much and a lot of things don’t make sense, it’s needed to be done anyway.

Every step makes me feel nervous and accomplished, very much overwhelmed while seeing it as a whole, so I’m focusing on just the one I have to take next. There is a need to be so patient that it makes me mad.

Anyway, I will be reaching out to the creator of the game this next week, to give them my thoughts and fangirl about how the first campaign went for me. I will be making a public post about it as well and letting you all know when the time comes. The story I ended with will start being uploaded on Patreon, with teasers going everywhere after my two campaigns of Iron Valley are taken care of. So stay tuned.

I mean, I want to start teasing you now, but it’s not that long. I swear it will be worth it.

I expect to request my passport this week, so that’s an adulting process to go through I’m hoping not to dread (completely). It’s also my last free week before classes in college start, even though I will be taking only two subjects. And I’m so waiting for next Sunday, when I will be meeting with my lovely friends; I’ve been wanting to do this for m o n t h s.

More on all of this next week, hopefully.

Just as a heads-up, I have started a list of posts I would like to share outside of my weekly stuff, but we will see how long they take me and where and when they will go live. Just in case one or two of those start appearing before me saying something about it.