#for fucking someone on work hours
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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#years ago#this young guy came thru my training#when i was a trainer#he was ok in class#years later#i find out he is mad im Lesbian#lmao wtf#anyways he treats me differently#anyways speed up to 2023#i found out from work wife#he is in trouble at work#for fucking someone on work hours#karma?#work wife knows guys stepmom#who we also work with#ps my analysis showed how work wife's supervisor was fucking with her#still making changes from the inside out#the sup is on admin leave now#over 132 days#😆#let fairness rule
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thinking about riz and how his mom and his weird romance partner both think the bad kids are bad friends to him… thinking about how riz took on every single stress token for his friends… thinking about how riz always puts his everything into helping his friends and being there for them. and the bad kids aren’t Bad Friends but sometimes they take/need a lot, and they’d be fine if he pushed back, but he never pushes back? thinking about fig’s one nice note made riz break down and send gorgug WALLS of text about how much it meant to him
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#this isn’t really about the bad kids being bad friends. it’s more like riz being someone who doesn’t really Get healthy boundaries#guy who’s always down to hang out at basrars at 3am when kristens sad or work on adaines extra credit w her or help with fig’s shenanigans#i fucking love riz’s arc in fhjy man like realising that giving your everything to your friends ≠ getting the idyllic future with them#it’s Getting Too Serious About Murph’s Offhand Bits hours
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i painted Astarion hehe :3c prints here
#i planned on doing a quick litttle sketch based purely on memory than i was like maybe ill use a ref actually and then i ended up making#a painting of that guy lmao#this took anywhere from 2 to 4 hours idk a good amount of tim was looking at his face and trying to remmeber how to fucking draw lmao#like im bad with making drawings look like someone but i tried!#haven't played the game btw i dont have the moeny nor the laptop for it but i have been watching a lets play of it#want to try and draw more of the companions especially karlach and wyll cause i love wylls design and i love karlach#astarion#bg3#astarion bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion baldurs gate#astarion fanart#painting#art#art work#digital painting#arin moss#arin moss art#also i know his hairs not that curly but i like drawing hair like this lol#im sure theres more i can fix but whatever i fix it lateer maybe but liekly i wont lol#okay i edited his face a little but idk if this version looks better#maybe ill go back and put the old version in but for now i think this looks a tad better but idk idk#baldurs gate 3#astarion ancunin#fanart#vampire#vampire art
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rough day...
#i might come back and color this. Eventually....#scribbled this after a busy day of lots of moving things into storage and hauling boxes around#i felt a bit like a workhorse!#at some point i sat down on the uhaul w/ my water and thought. Wow. How Does Eddie Manage#poor guy deserves a break...#he needs a day off smh#i mean the neighborhood would fall apart w/o him probably but still. he needs a vacation!#he works too hard! someone tell him to prioritize himself for once!#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#eddie dear#alrighty well its 12 am i need to get up in less than 6 hours and i still have Several Things To Do before i can sleep!#so! queuing this and getting those last chores done#wait fuck. what where they#well! i'll remember when i get up to do them! probably!#yknow 7 hours into tomorrow's drive im gonna be like OH FUCK I FORGOT THE [insert task here]#oh. shit did i eat dinner? hm... im not gonna be ready for breakfast when i wake up#so i might as well add 'quick cup of noodles' onto tonight's Before-Sleep list....#im rambling! sorry!#anyway i have Much affection for eddie! somebody get him a spa day and some shiny new stamps!!!
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"sounds nice... having a partner"
#the walking dead game#twdg#violentine#clementine twdg#violet twdg#MAANN when clem says this in s3 JUST WAIT BBY#people who say clemvi has no basis like ep2 isnt just them working as a team for 2 and a half hours regardless of player choice#like be fr#clem telling louis that violet patching up the back wall is ok because she needed something to keep herself busy. married behavior#vi asking clem to help check in on everyone while she deals with the wall. their shared smile when she comes back outside :)#and then they sit in the leadership spot together overlooking the yard and everything theyve planned together coming to fruition :)#sorry i just think their romance set up in eps 1 and 2 is obvious as FUCK and im tired of (Some) people pretending it isnt#'i havent seen her warm up to someone in a long time' brody literally tells clem that vi seems to like her after its been 24 hours#after shes been a block of ice for a whole year. and clem just melted those walls down immediately while they fought walkers together#violet is so devoted to clem post ep1 its embarrassing for her#'i saw she had you pinned and i- shit i got So crazy...' sorry if you dont think shes in love with clem idk what to tell you#'i'll tear that boat apart before we leave without you' i know you would girlie!!!#the animators went CRAAZAYAYAYAY the way they look at each other... their little smiles at each other....even before the belltower#the way clem looks at her while they dance.... the way she puts her head down on her shoulder so contentedly....#and then she keeps her head on violets shoulder as she pulls away so clems chin gets dragged with it like she doesnt want to let go#'so you never forget that night' 'i never will' they are DISGUSTINGLY in love with each other it makes me physically ill#its 2024 and im still hearing 'i just didnt see it :/'. lazerbeams you#spaced art 2024
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attack on @startagainaprologue!!!! go follow it neow.
(also greyscale version below the cut. ik this design is in greyscale but i will die without my colors (silly))
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat au#BONIBEAR MY BELOVED CRITTER#i was legally obligated to draw this#as someone who likes bonnie isat a normal amount#hoping and PRAYING that this keeps its transparency when it posts#i don’t know how tumblr compression works yet </3#i DID have versions of these with colored backgrounds but… i didn’t like them.#anyways THIS WAS SO FUN TO RENDER AND DRAW#bear cub bonnie is so fucking good.#initially i was going to draw the food normally instead of in my weird pixelly doodle style#but. i don’t know how to render a fish head. so silly doodle style it is!!!#also praying that i Don’t fuck up queue and post this 10 hours early again
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like yeah obviously legality does not correlate to morality and i personally do not think ip laws should exist. however the reason i find it relevant to emphasize that selling fanfiction is illegal is not to make some moral stand about the sanctity of ip so much as to be like. hey this is the way it fucking is and if u break the law by selling fic u run the risk of creating larger legal troubles for entire communities of fic writers who just want to share their work for free. also more to the point the reason selling fic is so shitty is that it is a question of labor exploitation. i spent hundreds of hours creating something which you are now packaging and selling to make a profit without compensating me for my labor, which is not only exploitative but spits in the face of the spirit in which this fanfiction was shared—as a labor of love, meant to be free to anyone who wanted to read it. and the gag is that if u did want to fairly compensate me for my labor it would literally be thousands of dollars (assuming i’m charging even minimum wage for time spent writing & editing) which is why it isn’t fucking possible to sell fanfiction for a fair price!! all that on top of the fact that i (and many other fic writers) explicitly say “don’t sell or buy bound copies of my fic” just makes it flat-out undeniable that this is a fucking shitty thing to do, and i genuinely have no sympathy for people who go “wait what i’m not supposed to sell or buy fanfiction 🥺🥺🥺” like shut the fuck up i hate u
#literally plagiarize the shit out of my work i don’t care hell u can copy and past my fic and repost it on ao3 under a different title and#i’ll probably just shrug. but once money starts exchanging hands it ignites a visceral rage in me#also the fact that i found out about this while working at my shitty job i hate bc i have to pay my fucking rent#meanwhile there’s someone on fucking etsy selling my hours and hours of labor for hundreds of dollars. ok#ranting and raving#txt
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THE OFFICE BUT MAKE IT JJK
#yeah guys so... i did something#i made this on a whim btw because I wanted to watch silly little jjk moments with funny the office music#so I made one#and I couldn't find a video like this anywhere#excuse the ugly watermark but I worked on this for HOURS#and I am so very fucking proud of it#and for once I don't want anything of mine being stolen and claimed as someone else's work#this is 100% mine and I love it#enjoy#ipost#Jujutsu Kaisen#JJK#dailyanime#anisource#shounenedit#jjkedit#hyeahjujutsu#the office#the office but make it jujutsu kaisen#my condolences for the nanami frame being too short tho I tried to keep it according to the original but I fucked up there#ANYWAYS#HERE
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Stubbornness.
#oc#haven#i worked genuinely hard as fuck on this one#tfw you follow someone to their home to demand they speak with you face to face because you want to commit extreme violence on them#over a business dispute. and because they do not want you to do this they simply do not come outside. and you eventually make it clear you#will not be leaving until they come outside so you can discuss (read: harm them over) said business dispute. so they turn on their#sprinkler system and go to sleep. and you decide on the spot that this isn't that big a deal and if you leave now you'll lose ALL#credibility FOR EVER. so you decide to stand around and wait until they come out and . by the time the morning arrives you have#contracted Hypothermia and The Beginnings Of Pneumonia and also Did Not Maul That Guy#started this as a proof of concept test of doing an overpainting on super vivid red#expecting to spend like#maybe forty minutes on it#and then about uh.... like... at least seven hours later i was like okaayyyyy now im done#stay tuned i have two variants that didnt make the cut also#also the picture is big as fuck so i recommend straight up opening it into a different tab to look at details#not that there are that many#i painted it 80% at zoom-out scale
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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#tf2#sniper#spy#scout#wow. it's monday. and i have to go work. fuck. maybe can sleep 2 hours if i go to bed right now. i hope so#i even can give my kidney if someone fix my insomnia
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I
know that voting for the status quo sucks.
To say it "sucks" massively understates the exact amount of suffering that exists under the status quo, an amount that I acknowledge I am too privileged to ever fully grasp.
I cannot magically provide some viable third-party candidate just barely a month before the election. I cannot solve Israel/Palestine Conflict that has haunted the world for over 70 years. I am a 29-year old transgender woman working her way through her own mental illnesses, trauma, and an undergraduate degree. I was never going to be the one to solve anything here.
All I can tell you is that regardless of whether you vote or not, there will be a presidential election. It's going to be a shitshow, regardless. Whether you vote or not, there will be a different president in January. Voting for the status quo may not be directly in your interests.
We had four years of Trump and we are still trying to unfuck ourselves from that. The beginning of my antagonistic relationship with the government was protesting in the streets of DC under his administration. I've fled from the Metro PD. I've put on a change of clothes and slipped out the back door of a gay sports bar.
Fucking vote.
Fucking vote.
Fucking vote.
Honestly, I
I don't want to see this voter apathy shit anymore.
People are going to keep dying under any president. Any president can, and probably wil, be morally culpable for the deaths of innocent people, both in the country and abroad. Carter might be the last president we had that wasn't overtly a war criminal and we still had foreign civilians killed by U.S. military involvement under the Carter admin.
I'm torn between asking you to block me, or asking you to message me, if you're taking the route of voter apathy. I'll tell you right away, here and now, that I probably don't have a solution to whatever problem is keeping you from voting for Harris. I can't even solve my own problems right, tbh. The government isn't really here for me, either.
But there isn't going to be some sort of miraculous revolution that results in The Ending Where Everyone Lives. If there's a revolution, then supply chains will falter and children and the infirm will die of preventable diseases and infections and complications in hospitals that would have otherwise been able to easily deal with such things. That's what happens in a revolution. I'm after the long-term idea where Humanity as a species lives. I'm after the route where we don't have an ending, we keep going.
Fucking vote, because exactly one of the two leading presidential candidates believes climate change is real, and it is the single greatest threat to all life on earth. We have spent the past 250 years, not just playing God with the environment, but actively creating an ecological niche in which future generations of humanity must continue to play God with the environment, dragging it back to a healthy place drop by drop, inch by inch, a degree at a time.
Or, I mean, don't vote. Either way, we'll all die at some point. Perhaps some of us will be lucky enough to die standing by our principles.
Those lucky few will become soil one day, just like I will.
I am begging you on my hands and knees to fucking vote, though, because our options are The Status Quo vs. Worse. That's
That's it.
There is no door number three right now. Our system, our flawed and broken and imbalanced and unjust system, does not accommodate for a third door. Whether you vote or not, you will be dragged through either Door 1 or Door 2 with all of humanity, as we whirl through the cosmos upon our tiny little speck of dust. The only other legitimate option is to allow oneself to become trampled; to become soil early. I don't say legitimate to give this option legitimacy, but to make clear that again, there is no door three. Door three is a casket. A one-way bed.
I didn't vote in 2016, and I'm hoping that you'll vote for the status quo this time, because that's the route that gives me the best odds of having a long and healthy life to regret my failure through inaction.
Just please
Fucking vote.
Or again, if you're taking the apathy route, probably just save me the time of blocking you, because you're not going to magically pull a viable third-party candidate out of your pocket less than six weeks before the election.
#us politics#2024 elections#can you tell i just blocked someone over this?#maybe i should've spoken to them first#maybe i'm hormonal and barely able to deal with the swords hanging over my head or the coals beneath my feet#i've explored my options for fleeing the country if trump wins; and i'm not sure if i'd follow through#maybe i'd stay here and die for my principles#but at least i'll vote to TRY and avoid that#they burned magnus hirschfeld's books before any other jewish literature#it's already too late to save the late; all we can do is salvage the present#i have to wake up and study the effects of anthropogenic climate change in less than six hours#my morning will be spent looking for; and documenting; dead birds#i love birds#they're my favorite animal#after that; i have a class on grant writing; in which i am working on a project on non-profit local agriculture#then metaphysics; because philosophy is like the only treat i have left in my education#and finally; climate storytelling; in which i and 18 other undergrads are trying to figure out how to get people to care about the planet#and i gotta tell y'all; that last one is a bleak fucking time#fucking vote#forty fucking minutes of being pissed about this#i still have to write an essay on modal realism#and research this country's failings on water resource management for my class on the same on monday#long posts#probably incoherent posts#rambling notes#political rambling
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Just realized the left side of the bus (with the exception of Rodion) encapsulates the "I miss my wife, Tails" meme when you look at their source material
Outis misses Penelope, Meursalt misses Marie, Ishmael misses Queequeg, and Heathcliff misses Cathy.
Dante the half of the bus is full of YEARNING
#limbus company#assorted outisms#outis#meursault#ishmael#heathcliff#thinking about an after work hours conversation between those four and someone gets competitive on how long they haven't seen their#significant others#'what about it i haven't seen my girl in a long time'#'i have not made any contact with my fiance after my court trial.'#'i cannot return home for... reasons. it has been two decades now.'#'my wife is fucking dead.'#cue cricket chirps after ishmael says that
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Fanfic authors, please, I implore you, from one writer to another, DO NOT DELETE YOUR WORKS. Change the account ownership, make a different pseud to put it under, anonymise or orphan them, it doesn't matter, just please, please, PLEASE, do not delete them. Please. Even if you think they're badly written, or out of character, or a decade old, or 'cringe', or whatever, there will be some poor schmuck out there who loves what you've written and will cry over its deletion because they forgot to download it. - Sincerely, some poor schmuck who loves what someone wrote and has spent the last ten hours trying to track it down because he forgot to download it.
#ao3#wattpad#fanfiction#archive of our own#fanfic.net#I don't know any more fanfic sites I'm sorry#writing#fanfic writing#No seriously please DO NOT DELETE YOUR WORKS#I've just spent the last ten -- yes. Ten. One zero. Ten -- hours trying to track down this one fic#I'm about to go pull up the wayback machine#If I can see through my tears of course#Please don't delete#What you write is amazing and important and yeah. sure. sometimes it might not be the best thing you've done#sometimes it might be 'cringe' as hell#But please please please it will mean the world to someone anyway#Okay I'm shutting the fuck up now#Go continue procrastinating your latest WIP#I know you motherfuckers#(I *am* you motherfuckers)#I am also now crying#My hopeful traverse into the wild depths of the wayback machine has come to naught#The fic I seek is forever lost to the void of the internet#Reddit or Discord are my only options#Oh Gods. What has the world come to?#I am now crying again for a different reason because THE FIC HAS BEEN FOUND#I AM SAVED#THANK YOU DISCORD PERSON#HOLY SHIT
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Smacks the therian/alterhuman/otherkin/ext community on here with a newspaper. Credit your GODDAMN artists or DONT POST AT ALL. Your "this is me!" Claims of people's art is not cute when uncredited. Use critical thinking I fucking beg of you. If you don't know the artist, then keep it to your fucking self!
#back to back i seen like 6 mfs doing this recently#credit your fucking artists#especially if youre using it to faceclaim or something jesus fucking christ credit your artists.#its fucking infuriating i beg yall.#therian#therianthropy#alterhuman#nonhuman#otherkin#i can not stress enough how badly people are to artists. dont add to it.#if you dont know the artist heres a big one maybe draw yourself yourself instead of claiming others work as you.#'wahh i cant draw' sucks to suck. go commision someone who can then and stop being a fucking art theif.#i havent even been awake for an hour and yall are already stressing me the fuck out
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