raederle-phoenix

[certaintylikelightning]

thinking about riz and how his mom and his weird romance partner both think the bad kids are bad friends to him… thinking about how riz took on every single stress token for his friends… thinking about how riz always puts his everything into helping his friends and being there for them. and the bad kids aren’t Bad Friends but sometimes they take/need a lot, and they’d be fine if he pushed back, but he never pushes back? thinking about fig’s one nice note made riz break down and send gorgug WALLS of text about how much it meant to him

[dullgecko]

Okay I’m really going to try and keep this one actually concise this time. Here goes. Bad Kids, skirts, and gender.

Riz hates skirts. Originally he thought it was a trans thing - while he doesn’t have much, if any, dysphoria about his body, it always hits him hard when people misgender him and skirts are generally viewed as more feminine. And yes, while that was a part of it, he still hated skirts even when he tried one with just his friends around and they never misgendered him (apart from that one time they accidentally deadnamed him because they didn’t understand goblin grammar, but after that they never did it again). He eventually figured out that it was mostly a sensory thing because he also hated Fabian’s pirate shirts because the sleeves were too floaty, and while stolen oversized hoodies were great, if they were too long all of the added fabric did sometimes send him into a meltdown.

Gorgug loves skirts, especially long skirts with big secret pockets that can hold loads of little trinkets. If a skirt doesn’t have pockets, Gorgug will get out their sewing machine and make it have pockets. He is very ambivalent towards gender and takes a pretty open approach to pronouns. He, she, they, xe, whatever you want really as long as it isn’t rude. When Gorgug says any pronouns, most people just use he/they, but xe really does mean any pronouns and it makes her really happy when the bad kids change up the pronouns.

Adaine has a complicated relationship with skirts. She figured out that she was trans pretty early on, and coming out to her parents had not been her choice. It had been a long fight with her parents to make them accept her new name and to let her wear skirts at all. However once she was around people who were much more accepting, she was able to think more about if she actually liked skirts which did end up in a 2am panic attack wondering if she’d been faking being trans the whole time. She hadn’t, she just liked wearing jeans sometimes. It was all fine.

After getting over the whole raised on toxic masculinity thing, Fabian starts having Gender Thoughts (tm). He hates it. He thought he had it all figured out, but now he (she?) is trying on skirts with Mazey and it does feel nice. But liking skirts doesn’t automatically mean he’s a girl because clothes don’t have a gender and guys can wear skirts. But equally, according to Riz and Adaine, cis people don’t normally feel a weird amount of relief and happiness when accidentally hit by a gender swapping spell that lasts 24 hours. But whatever. Skirts are fun. Pronouns and gender are honestly still a bit of a mystery, but Fabian eventually decides that he and she are both fine, occasionally leaning more one way or the other. Where Gorgug’s gender can be described as “no thanks :)” Fabian’s is more “yes :)”.

Fig loves skirts. Big genderfluid energy, but most commonly uses they/them but loves a sprinkling of he and she too. Fig’s gender is basically just “whatever is funniest for the bit”. Fig also loves doing drag for their concerts, flawlessly mixing hyper-masc and hyper-femme. Fig was actually one of the last to come out, partly because it didn’t feel super relevant, but there was also definitely some worry about how Ayda would react. (Ayda was fine with it and after doing some extra research of her own, started using she/they)

Kristen has a pretty simple relationship with skirts. She had been forced to wear dresses and skirts for church, and as soon as she was out of that she stopped wearing skirts completely and didn’t look back. I can never decide if it’s funnier for Kristen to be the only cis one or to be the very last one to figure out that they’re nonbinary (everyone else thought Kristen already knew and just hadn’t come out)

Bonus: Gorgug makes Boggy a little skirt and it is the cutest thing ever.

the thought of every single one of them being some sort of trans amuses the shit out of me. They really do travel in packs.

[fangirlingpuggle]

Half asleep fantasy high time travel AU idea where bad kids are still adventuring team as adults a big bad they’ve fought manages to get away and decides to take an Arthur Aguefort approach and use chronomancy to fix their problems taking on the bad kids while they’re still kids before they start the Aguefort adventuring academy or more accurately on their first day.

So, as the bad kids are arriving, they all suddenly get attacked and are of course freaking out (Golden horde is also freaking out because this is not his plan)

However, before they can hurt any of them cur future bad kids showing up and wrecking shit all the first episode before detention bad kids seeing their badass older adult selves and then either

A.

Bad kids have to stay in past to catch bad guy and protect younger selves as this chronomancy has gone multiverse theory and they only have a one-way trip back so cant lave til bad guy is caught.

Adaine: So we’re definitely in separate time line right?

Kristen: I mean Aguefort’s exact words we’re ‘no consequences you can go apeshit’

Adaine: Awesome *Instantly starts kicking shit out of her parents after wrapping her younger self and Alewyn in a blanket passing them Boggy*

Riz totally shots Goldenhoard, while him and Kristen are yelling out ‘HEY KALINA YOU BITCH SHOW YOURSELF’ Kristen having Cassandra’s power and kinda just going and speed running whole Nightmare king thing. Also her picking up her younger self and siblings up while her goddess appears just to flip off her parents.

Fabian’s younger self not being a fan of his older self being a bard… until Fabian kicks his ass while on his way to go get his bike for this timeline.

Younger Fig being so confused by the fact older Fig is Gilear's biggest fan and Gilear also super confused and trying not to cry because his daughter clearly isn’t going to hate him forever and he was sure she would. Fig also going to younger self like ‘Hey please stop with the transforming self you don’t need to it’s all good… hey maybe check out Leviathan for no reason’ she totally teasing her younger self because I have the best girlfriend ever.

Gorgug setting his homunculus on coach daybreak and also porter also sending a van after them to run them over.

Or

B.

They need to keep younger selves safe so scoop them up and throw them in the hangvan and take them to the future with them to keep them safe.

Cue all the freshman bad kids seeing how their lives are

Adaine seeing she has a family that loves her, Jawbone giving his daughter the biggest hug emotional to see her as she was when she was younger and Alewyn just uber protective over her baby baby sister and Adaine not believing she’s so loved.

Fabian shocked to see his older self as a bard (And he may have tried to sneak in and sue the weird elven sheet his older self has used not that he will ever admit it) but also his mother is sober… and a total badass. He also

Fig seeing herself with a good relationship with all her parents (also for some reason all her and her friends love Gilear) also she has a paramour whose a fucking amazing phoenix who younger Fig keeps tripping over herself to flirt with (disguising herself as her older self) Ayda thinks this is humorous older Fig is amused but also Hey get your own paramour.

Riz meeting his older self who is a badass with tattoos and so many friends. Also he works with angels. He is totally awestruck.

Kristen being shocked by how different her older self is and having a lot of realizations about herself. Also, her new goddess is the coolest and really happy to talk things through with her (Cassandra wants to keep her in this timeline, and is trying to figure out a way to break the timelines so she can get her as her prophet in the other timeline to without all the nightmare king stuff she’s the goodness of mystery she’s sure she can do it)

Gorgug meeting his older self whose a barbarian and an artificer and super smart and has a homunculus called Chloe and is so confident and smart.

[mozukumi]

you've got me seeing (through different eyes)

The scariest thing about being possessed by Baron, Fabian realizes with hindsight, was how little his cognition needed to change to see Riz as his romance partner. The second scariest thing was probably the urge to brutally maim his dear friends or his complete loss of autonomy. Or maybe it was the ability to spin his head around like an owl? He hadn’t found the time to make a ranked list, yet. He’s been busy. He had to fight a bunch of enemies, escape a dream version of his friend’s haunted house, and then deal with the revelation that he’s totally in love with his best friend.

-

After Baron's Game, Fabian realizes some things about himself. 567 words, left ambiguous if the Fabriz is requited or unrequited. Read on AO3 or under the readmore.

The scariest thing about being possessed by Baron, Fabian realizes with hindsight, was how little his cognition needed to change to see Riz as his romance partner.

The second scariest thing was probably the urge to brutally maim his dear friends or his complete loss of autonomy. Or maybe it was the ability to spin his head around like an owl? He hadn’t found the time to make a ranked list, yet. He’s been busy. He had to fight a bunch of enemies, escape a dream version of his friend’s haunted house, and then deal with the revelation that he’s totally in love with his best friend.

Or maybe he isn’t. He can explain it away to himself, if he really tries. Tell himself that these emotions are just a residual side effect of the whole Baron thing. Perhaps if he talked to Adaine, she would tell him that she too was feeling the same way. Then they could laugh the whole thing off, and it’d become a funny story they all joke about for years to come, like Kristen and her ribbon-dancing.

…

But deep down, he knows that he’s just kidding himself.

When Baron possessed him, it wasn’t as if Fabian was kicked out of his head. It was more like he was a car, and Baron forced him out of the driver's seat and into the back. He was still along for the ride.

And to overextend this metaphor, Baron only needed to make a slight right turn to get Fabian’s mind onto Romance Partner Blvd - no extensive detours required.

When he attacked Adaine to defend Riz’s honor, it felt so natural. Well, not the Adaine part - getting there did require a longer psychological road trip from Baron. But protecting Riz, The Ball, His Ball -

It was as natural as breathing.

Looking back, he can see the signs. Special attention paid to him, extra time spent with him. And when a cute girl tried to kiss him, his first instinct was to call him. Get his advice. This isn’t new, Fabian has to admit. All Baron did was force him to see the possibility.

And now he’s scared shitless.

Because if he fucks this up and makes it awkward - it would ruin everything. If things got bad enough, it might even split the party. Not only would all of his friendships be fractured, but Riz - Fabian imagines him at Lord Salazar Edge's College of Lone Adventurers, and it breaks his heart.

Nonetheless, he can’t imagine not doing something about this. Now that he’s aware of this yearning, it feels nigh all-consuming. Anytime he sees Riz, his heart rate skyrockets and his mental faculties leave him. It’s ridiculous.

He has to act upon this.

Deep breath. He could do this. Definitely. He is going to woo The Ball - or at the very least, proposition romance in such a way that won’t end their friendship if he’s turned down. And it was going to be very easy, because he is suave and charming and Maximum Legend.

Sure, his only real romantic experience was a few bad make out sessions with Aelwyn and an ambiguous but tragic relationship with Ecaf. But it couldn’t be that hard, could it? He was a desirable young man. He would make a wonderful partner.

… at the very least, he’d be a much better partner than Baron. That was a start, wasn’t it?

[sleepytimestardiamond]

bad kids regression hcs!

riz

baby regressor and cat regressor!

can nearly always be found in someone’s arms

he’s so stressed all the time that it’s really nice to be able to completely relax and be taken care of for once

he does have difficulty getting into that headspace but he can’t age dream because that’s even harder. often ends up regressing as a result of his friends regressing too

hisses if someone tries to pet him but will also hiss if he crawls into someone’s lap and they Don’t pet him

needs to be watched bc he Will start biting wires

so vocal he loves to babble very enthusiastically and everyone’s just like yeah!! totally buddy!! for sure!!

fabian

usually about 7 or 8, takes his role as a big brother very seriously

however he does complain about the younger kiddos being boring bc he wants to play with them and all they do is lay down and cry

very used to fighting For Real when he was a kid so he’s often a little too rough and has to be told to pull it back a little bit

will throw a tantrum if he doesn’t get his way bc he always got everything he wanted as a bio kid

the hangman spends most of his time in dog form, chasing fabian around seacaster manor (he still calls fabian sire and fabian thinks it’s cool ‘cause it makes him feel like a pirate prince)

adaine

regresses anywhere from 4-12

it starts out as much more of a stress/vent thing for her and gradually becomes more enjoyable as her mental health improves

definitely makes use of her retroactive bday gifts from jawbone

loves playing with boggy and moggy

curls up on jawbone’s lap so he can read her stories

kristen

usually one of the oldest kids. it takes her a while to unlearn the parentification and realize that she’s allowed to be taken care of, and after that she starts to slowly slip younger

the best at fixing boo boos! she always has band aids on her—even if she can heal her friends with a spell, it’s nice to have a physical reminder too (plus, sometimes it’s not Actually something that requires healing)

a very silly kiddo, always the first one to agree to any wild plan fabian or fig come up with

sometimes has breakdowns where she isolates and won’t use her words, but the second jawbone or sandra lynn come in to see what’s the matter she’ll burst into tears and throw herself into their laps. she still won’t talk about it but it’s nice to be held

gorgug

probably regresses the least of all of them, except maybe riz. he’s a great big brother though!

when he does regress he likes adaine to cast reduce on him so he can be smaller. he’s so used to being too big for the things around him from a young age so it’s nice to feel like he’s small

everyone will band together with the thistlesprings to also make him Larger versions of things so he can still feel small even if adaine isn’t around

likes making flower crowns/chains and singing songs while he does it. he, riz, and adaine will usually hang out together in the shade, typically supervised by jawbone or lydia, while the other kiddos run around and get their energy out

riz loves curling up on gorgug’s chest and gorgug is a sleepy guy, so they can often be found napping together

fig

switches back and forth between very pink bubbly unicorns and rebellious little punk monster

she likes singing with gorgug but her songs are often more of the violent nature (think the barney or my little pony songs you heard in elementary school) so it scares him sometimes

loves sandra lynn and gilear. always has to be attached to one of them or in their sight. there’s a lot of “mom! mom, watch me! did you see that, dad??”

paints the other kids’ nails (usually something with sparkles) and gives them punk rock makeovers

[fabrizqueersubtext]

Who could care about me?

For SJ! Thank you-- your donation will be sent to the Palestinian Social Fund.

Prompt: the bad kids, mordred manor, group hangout

You mentioned not being pressed for details, so I moved it to Riz's office between S1 and S2. I hope you don't mind!

You can read all of the collection here: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Kofi4ACause Request a fic at Kofi4ACause: https://ko-fi.com/omgpourquoi

TW: Disassociation/Derealization but his friends show up to help!

---

Riz Gukgak isn’t one to rest on a case. He’s not even sure what that means, actually. He’s staring at his case board, red string blurring together to the point he wonders if he should start again with a new color. Maybe a gray?

He’s been locking himself in his new office as much as his mom will let him get away with and drinking coffee as fast as he can make it. Once he had gotten his murder board through the door, the Nightmare Crown theft consumed him fully; even when he was away from the board, he was thinking about it. It was easier to just stay here with the board. The thing is that he's close. He’s so close— he must be. It’s been a little over a month since the Nightmare Crown went missing from Principal Aguefort's office during the fight. He’s still trying to connect its theft to the last case. To Kalvaxus. To the Seven. To the Abernants. To Aguefort. There’s something he’s missing, though, there must be something else—

His thought is interrupted by a loud banging on the door. In a second, he's up from the desk, goblin ears pinning back to his head with a hiss, gun pointed towards the door. There's another banging.

“The Ball, open the door,” comes the muffed voice of Fabian Aramais Seacaster from the other side. Riz realizes the banging must be Fabian's version of a knock. 

Riz takes a breath, trying to regulate his racing heart. He slowly replaces his gun in its holster. Apparently, though, he's not moving fast enough for his friends, because he hears an impatient sigh that can only belong to Fig.

“Move over, I’ll just kick it down,” he hears Fig offer.

It’s enough to get him moving towards them. He likes his door as it is, without Fig's bootprints on the front.

"I'm coming, don't break your foot or my door," he says as he drags himself away from his desk to unlock the door. It flies open to reveal his friends. And not just Fabian and Fig but Gorgug, Kristen, and Adaine as well. They’re dressed like it's warm outside and vaguely he remembers that it is summer.

The stand there and look at him blankly for a moment, before Fabian break the silence. "Oh, uh— we brought Chinese food?” 

Just before Gorgug asks, "Are you okay?" 

Both of them are outshined by Kristen though who, at the same time, raises her arms and yells, “This is an intervention!"

"Um," Riz doesn't know what to say. He settles on an answer to all three, "Okay."

They push past and pile into his small office without invitation. Suddenly, Riz feels tired. His legs are aching and his face feels sweaty and his head hurts. Gorgug pushes his old pizza boxes into the trash so that he can sit in the chair they’d been occupying. Kristen pulls the blinds and opens the window, letting in a light breeze. Vaguely, he wonders what time it is. He’s startled to realize he hasn’t had that thought for days.

"Hi, Riz. We're here for lunch," Adaine says, as she reaches forward to places a hand on his shoulder. Lunch. Huh, so it must be around noon. He feels the familiar rush of her magic, like summer rain and the faint smell of a library. His clothes unrumple, his face ungreases, his hair feels clean and he feels more present than he has in weeks.

"The Ball, we got you chow mein," Fabian says, pulling out boxes and placing them wherever he can find a spot on the desk.

Fig leans over and pushes some of the files and post-its off the desk and to the floor. Before he can protest, Kristen plops down into his desk chair and grins at him.

"It really is a nice office," she says, spinning in his desk chair.

Beside him, Gorgug lifts up a plastic bag.

"I bought a Cola, but, uh, we thought you should drink water. So-," Gorgug says, shoving a water bottle into his hand.

"Oh. Okay," Riz says, taking a sip. Someone hands him his food, he takes a bite and his stomach growls. Huh, when did he get hungry?

He looks at his friends, who've come into his office, interrupting his investigative brooding and taken up all his space. They're infuriating and chaotic and loud and overwhelming and here. They’re here.

Riz feels like he’s coming back from the dead. They sit in various part of the office, eating Chinese food and bickering about how much coffee is actually too much coffee. Riz just listens. He eats. He drinks. It feels like he's settling back into his skin. Into himself. Eventually, as always, they turn back to the case.

"Okay, what'd we got?" Fig asks as she kicks at his board. It rattles from the force, shaking all of his string. The vibrating strings look a lot like his brain feels, shaky and uncertain. Although, he is starting to feel better. More like their Riz, the Riz he is actually starting to like to be, instead of a hyper-fixated goblin in his room all alone. 

"You know, I think we need a new perspective. New string," Adaine says. She reaches in her jacket, which is currently tied around her waist, and pulls out a fresh ball of string. It's gray.

With a sudden clarity, Riz realizes that his friends are, each in their own ways, caring for him. Riz Gukgak isn't used to being cared for. He's usually the one doing the caring. Sometimes he thinks he cares so much that it'll kill him. Sometimes he hopes it does.

But his friends are here. They're here and they care. They think he is worth caring for.

Thinking about it, he gets a little choked up and has to drink more water to cover it up. Then he actually does choke. Fabian moves to his side and pats his back a little too hard. 

"Breathe, the Ball. Dying from drinking water would be a stupid way to die," he says. 

"Yeah, you have to die in a cool way," Kristen chimes in. 

He lets out about little cough and air returns to him. He turns back to his friends and they look at him expectedly. Right.

"Here's where we are-" he starts.

[unsleepingtales]

Guys I’m gonna be real I am Not ready for this episode. But we press on!

Are you kidding me the episode is literally called Baron’s Game 😭😭😭 we’re so screwed

Love the spiritual possession warning in the description.

Mordred manor and cravencroft on the table!

They care about each other so much!!

Why does he keep calling her Figueroth

BITCH BARON

Whooooo

Riz now is your time to come out as aroace. This is it.

I never realized that Baron’s stark father was the nightmare king

Fucked upppppp

Brennan what is this.

Cait May I’m forever in your debt for Riz and Gorgug’s art <3 I love them more every time

Fingers out of his elbows?????

God I’m so aware that Kristen’s room is the chapel because of fics but it fucks me up every time

Also Fig sleeps under the piano. I know that’s not really feasible for the mechanics of this fight but Fig’s ‘room’ is the hollow under the piano in the living room

I like to spread it out 💀

KALINA!!!

I would 100% believe that Brennan is just having them roll dice for shits and giggles and to heighten the tension

WOOOOO canon Fig’s room mention. So she is still under the piano! It’s just not the way we were visualizing!

Spring break! I believe in you!

I love Riz’s theme music

I was right!!!!!! When I said that room looked like a chapel in my original battle set breakdown I was right!!!

Edgar!! Does this mean we’ll get to see my best friend Zayn???

Adaine’s room reveal :D

Fabian you have been in Adaine’s room before. You were there last week.

OH OK THAT’S WHY

NOOOOOOOOOOO

PVPPPPPP

Oh my god oh my god oh my god

You’re sick for this

ONLY a 20.

Lou is having SO much fun with this

Oh my GOD the unrequited fabriz vibes.

LOU. STOP.

Oooooh the Adaine’s room backdrop is so pretty. Cait please show us the full thing later? Please? I want to buy prints of the girl’s rooms as a fun fucked up triptych

Oh my GOD Adaine

Adaine crying ‘Fabian hit me’ got me in the emotions. Ouch.

Lay on Hands baby!!

Edgar :D

Is this a tongs situation 😬

We need an Edgar plushie. Please. Little ethereal ghost rat plushie

HATE that face from Zac.

Ally. Allyyyyyy

That’s definitely how that works yeah

Oh no.

Staircase!

ZARA?????

ZAYN MY BEST FRIEND ZAYN DARKSHADOW WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU

I still love that Gorgug cast warding bond on Fig <3

Noooooooooo

Whomst

‘Why do you attempt to fly with just a ribbon’ is a reasonable question. Following that up with ‘do you not think your friends would take you more seriously if you didn’t make bad ideas’ is INSANE

Oh my GOD.

No. Don’t do this to me man.

Love Emily’s creamy yellow Life Sucks Then You Die shirt. Feels very appropriate.

Sometimes your ex’s playlists slap ok!!

Fabian was generally menacing, Adaine is going directly for the throat with her Baronisms and it’s upsetting.

There is math to being mad!!! That’s my boy!!!

We go way back 😭

Turncoat!

I fucking love sneak attack man

Why is there wolfsbane in Adaine’s room?

Sexyyyyy

Do NOT do that????? That’s a cursed item that you should not touch???

Awww there’s a Vote for Kristen poster in Adaine’s room!

I love the long holding of the shot on Lou doing that dance

Zayn I know this isn’t you this isn’t what you want <3

Make him do a little dance??

Siobhan Thompson you’re brilliant

Oh god the clock

LIVE LAUGH WOLF

Awww little picture of Fig and Sandra Lynn and Baxter

WHAT ARE THE D8 ROLLS

GET FUCKED BRENNAN

Ask him bc he’ll tell you to do it and 😈

Them’s the breaks!

Adaineeeeee I love you

Jawbone nooooo

Does Ally fully just have a carton of raspberries back there

Devastating honestly

‘Don’t tell Fig she’ll be jealous’ I know they meant jealous of Gorgug getting to kiss Zara but. What if. I pushed the figgorgug agenda just a little further.

Reliable talent is soooo good

Zayn :(

I know it’s not really him but I miss my bestie

Baby Kalina 🥺

HELLO???

Conspirator??? Lydia Barkrock might be the other conspirator??? Have we ever heard Lydia talk about Kalina??

YEAH BABYYYYYYYY

I fucking rule at sucking!!!! I suck ass!!!!!

Ooooooh beautiful cravencroft background

Nooooooo last week was so long and this was like half the length so it feels so short lmao

[fastidious-and-a-mess]

I keep getting disappointed by how often I serch for riz fan content only to see Fariz (or other Riz ships included in it) I started watch fh cause I heard people talking about riz being aroace, good aroace characters are hard to find and I love all of them that I do find. so to see so much of the fandom just dismiss Riz being aroace in favor of their ships is very disappointing

disclaimer; in writing this response, i tended to lean more towards talking about fic and less about fanart because that’s where i’ve seen the most of what you’re talking about. also, in some places i strayed to talking about aroace characters in general and not just riz, which honestly i feel is appropriate because what happens to him happens to a lot of characters.

i totally understand what you mean. as an aroace person, it can be really disheartening to see things like “aroace people can still be in relationships!” etc etc.

honestly a lot of the fabriz content i’ve come across has been with demi!riz, which i don’t have too much of an issues with? in canon, he’s never had close friends like the bad kids before, so he’d never formed that close bond with anyone that would lead him to discovering his sexuality. i’ve read a few fics that do this pretty well, and in this context personally i think putting riz into romantic relationships is fine. not great, but not flat out erasure either.

although, sometimes it does feel like an excuse to be able to put him into relationships. like someone interpreting riz’s kind of vague sexuality in a way that allows them to write him in a ship without technically erasing his aro/ace-ness. and you’re absolutely right, that can feel very dismissive.

there’s a similar thing with people writing him aroace and still writing him into qprs. like, yes aroace people are often involved in exclusive and intimate relationships that, although explicitly not romantic or sexual, often involve a lot of the same mechanics as those relationships. but sometimes people just use that as an excuse to effectively write him into a traditional romantic/sexual relationship. they’ll think it’s fine because they’ll say he’s still aroace and it’s a qpr but i can tell there’s a very subtle difference between actually aro/ace people writing him in a qpr and allo people writing him in a qpr.

but then there’s so much riz content that just. chooses to ignore it completely. they’ll write riz into relationships with absolutely zero consideration for how he canonically is some flavor of aroace. to his aroace-ness implied or coding and not explicitly canon because they never label it would be like say fig’s queerness is only implied or coded because they never label it. fig kisses girls, and without labels that’s MORE than “enough” for her to be acknowledged as canonically queer, but riz has conversation after conversation after offhand comment about how he isn’t into the whole crushes relationships kissing thing, and for some people it’s STILL not enough to “earn” him a queer label. some people are quicker to accept a bisexual gorgug headcanon, which to my knowledge was never implied or suggested in canon at all, than to accept riz’s very canon aromantic/asexual identity. and it’s frustrating.

WHOOPS this was longer than i intended. as always. but anyways TL,DR: there are some instances where, when given proper nuance, depth, and care, riz can be appropriately written into a relationship without erasing his aroace identity. however, all too often people attempt to do that or say they attempt to do that and instead use those practices as an excuse to write him, effectively, alloromantic/allosexual. people just flat out ignoring and erasing his canon identity for the sake of their ships is also a common problem. so, even though there are a few nuanced exceptions, by and large i completely agree. aroace characters just don’t get the same respect for their identities that other queer characters do.

[jq37]

Ok but like one of the bad kids getting their first period and all the other bad kids doing the most to take care of them? That shit sounds adorable to me

I rolled on a die to pick the kid and got Adaine so time to get on the Everyone Is Nice to Adaine Because She Deserves It train again with me.

High school is a little late to get your period but not crazy and also she's an elf so I wouldn't be surprised if it happens a little later for them than for humans. 

I'm gonna say it's during the summer between Freshman and Sophomore year and everyone's linked up at Riz’s place because they're all gonna go swimming at the pool in Strongtower for some classic teenager shenanigans.

Adaine has been feeling kinda trash all day and she doesn't really know why. You would honestly expect the girls to clock what was going on faster but they actually know from Girl Talk that Adaine hasn't gotten her period yet so it's not on their radar. They ask if she wants to rain check but she insists she's fine. Aelwyn has Ray of Sickness-ed her way worse than this. Riz and Fabian are also totally oblivious. 

But sweet boy Gorgug who has parents who tell him everything about everything and has a girlfriend and is in a group chat with his girlfriend's 6 BFFs who don't censor themselves around him even a little picks up on the clues way faster and when she goes into the bathroom to change into her bathing suit and then doesn't come out for a *long* time, he texts her, "Are you OK?"

And he gets a quick "yes" in response. And then, after a few starts and stops, "Can you bring me my jacket?" Which she'd taken off because it’s so hot and the weak AC in the apartment is barely helping. 

He goes over and knocks on the door and cover his eyes with one hand and presents the jacket with the other (she just pokes her hand through to take it, the covering of eyes is a total overreaction) and she says, "Thanks Gorgug," sounding not quite sullen but not great either and Gorgug doesn't know how to delicately put it but he's like, "When Zelda, uh, needs stuff from her jacket, she doesn't really want to go do sports or swim or anything so if you want we can just hang out on the side while everyone else swims."

And Adaine is both caught off guard that Gorgug read her so well (before remembering oh yeah, he has more female friends than all of us somehow) but also touched by the gesture, though she doesn't want him to miss the fun on her account--this wasn't her activity choice anyway.

So he goes back with the group and everyone is talking and joking waiting for her but at a certain point it's like damn, what's taking her so long? And Fig is about to go yell at her to hurry up and Gorgug is like, no, she's busy! And Fig is like, what do you mean she's busy? Is she sewing her bathing suit from scratch? And it's less that Gorgug is squeamish about saying it and more that he thinks it's none of his business but he figures it's better than them barging in on her so he settles on saying that she's doing "girl things" which isn't exactly a code you'd need Alan Turing to decipher so everyone knows what he means immediately but Fig and Kirsten also know it's her FIRST period and that she has a shitty mom and a shitty sister who wouldn't have told her anything and, in contrast to Gorgug, decide this is ABSOLUTELY their business.

And yeah, Adaine could have gone without Kristen slamming open the door and going, "Welcome to the club!" but she is grateful (if a little embarrassed) for the help walking her though it cause the Fantasy Youtube vids weren't as helpful as she'd hoped. 

When they all get back to the living room, the boys (after some surreptitious texting from Fig and Kristen) are out of their swim trunks and back in normal clothes. Gorgug is setting up Fantasy Mario Party on the TV. Fabian is ordering the absolutely ridiculous pamper meals his Mama likes on Fantasy Grubhub (Adaine likes gleamtail caviar infused Eldrian chocolate truffles right?) And Riz is microwaving popcorn cause he knows that Adaine's not gonna eat whatever nonsense Fabian is ordering. 

And between the hormones and the fact that everyone just changed plans on a dime for her, no big deal, without even having to discuss it (something her blood family would never do at all, let alone willingly and without complaint), Adaine is so close to crying that if Boggy was around at this time he’d probably get unconsciously summoned as a reflex but no one mentions it. And when the boys say they decided it’s too hot to go swimming actually so they’ve decided to stay inside, she doesn’t mention that they’re literally sweating as they’re saying it and this is one of the worst lies they’ve ever come up with. She just says, “Thanks guys,” and smiles.  

(“needing stuff from your jacket” becomes a group euphemism for being on your period.)

[justbeingtalea]

Opinions on friendships in Dimension20′s Fantasy High, with this only being the second part of so many more to come:

The dynamic between Riz Gukgak and Fabian Aramais Seacaster is one of the best in the whole Dimension20 universe (especially after FH: Sophomore Year) and nobody will be able to convince me otherwise.

Because, the thing is: Fabian is the kid that checks all the obvious boxes for the cool, popular kid, righ? Famous parent, rich, athletic, more confidence than necessary or good for someone, a very easily breakable ego, etc. And Riz is the personification of the weird nerdy loser. Poor, smart, wears a fucking vest to school, carries a giant briefcase around with himself, introduces himself with “greetings and salutations”, giving out business cards, way too invested in other peoples business, etc. 

But in the same way over time we found out that Fabian can also be a loser, how he really has like two braincells on a good day (I mean, that boy ate glass ... that’s nearly worse than thinking that you are your own dad), he doesn’t know when to shut up, made so many people hate him and doesn’t realize it, not being able to jump on tables, getting his foot stuck in a stalactite, etc. And Riz can be a total badass! The mirror trick against Kalina, grabbing a bad guy to jump of a staircase with him just to misty step up again, his halfpipe trick in season one, killing Kalavaxus, etc.

And outsiders won’t understand how these two can be friends, because they are so obviously in different worlds and when Riz says that they are best friends and Fabian will say nothing everybody will just smile and pity that poor goblin, because he really thinks that a boy like Fabian would be his best friend?

But it isn’t like that at all, is it? Fabian was the first person to be concerned when Riz vanished and after he didn’t pick up Fabians call, he totally panicked. Crashing his fathers ship into a building in literal hell, because Riz vanished AGAIN and like we established, that makes Fabian panic. After realizing that there was celestial energy, Fabian was one of the first people to believe that yes, that has to mean that Riz is an angel and has been this whole time, makes sense, totally tracks. Calling him LIttle Angel (and then immediately going back to The Ball). Abandoning everything to jump after Riz and saving him from falling, doing an athletics roll with a DC of 25 (!!!) to try and safe him. Clutching the unconcious Riz in his sheet and in his arms after saving him until he could get him healed by someone. Giving Riz Bardic Inspriration as soon as he good that feature and surprising Riz with that, because “Oh, that’s why you wrapped me in your sheet, I was concerned for a second”. 

They compliment each other so well, that people who don’t know the Bad Kids enough won’t be able to understand, that sometimes even the other Bad Kids don’t really understand. But Fabian knows (even if he doesn’t say it out loud because toxic masculity may be dead, but that boy has so many more issues to work out than just that) and Riz knows (even if he probably sometimes really thinks that maybe, maybe he did friend-trap Fabian) and that is all these two really need for now.

I can only imagine Fabian calling Riz at the most weirdest hours of the night, maybe to fuck with Riz, maybe as a social experiment to see if Riz slept like at all and maybe because he wanted to talk to Riz. Fabian talking to Riz about killing his father, because Riz also has no dad and now he doesn’t have a dad anymore and it feels weird and Fabian knows that it is different, because Riz was very young when his father died, but if one person could understand even slightly how it feels to loose a dad you love than it is The Ball. 

Maybe someday the Seacaster Manor will feel a bit empty and quiet and while his mother tries and learns from Cathilda, it is not the same. So Fabian gets on the Hangman, no matter the time, and gets to Riz office. Riz will be fully in conspiracy mode and Fabian will probably make fun of him, but in his mind will be glad for the distraction. And Riz will maybe teach Fabian one or two things about investigating, because he really doesn’t want Fabian to ever bite glass again in an effort to be like Riz. 

Riz, the boy with a dad in heaven and Fabian, the boy with a dad in hell. if I wouldn’t know better I would even say Ying and Yang, two sides of the same coin, Best Friends.

[supercantaloupe]

on Aelwyn Abernant, the Reformed Villain Squad, and redeeming teenage antagonists

an analysis on antagonist character development in Fantasy High. spoilers through sophomore year and (mildly so) the most recent roll20 oneshot. essay under the cut bc i am very long winded

the turnaround with Aelwyn in s2 is handled so well  i cant get over it. she was such a major antagonist in the first season and just. despicable. she had no pathos. we hated this bitchy older sister who tried to kill Adaine and her friends and raise an evil dragon, and when she gets knocked on her ass and thrown in jail, we cheer.

and then s2 fucking starts saying “hey she’s in jail still if you’d like to look into that” and pursuing that thread ends up being almost as comedic an idea as it is a reluctant one; it’s also quickly shunted to the background as soon as more pressing leads present themselves, to the point where we almost forget about her until Adaine is kidnapped and then the first time you see her it’s just. viscerally upsetting.

she’s bad. she did evil. she got what she deserved.

but she already got what she deserved. last season.

she got her ass handed to her by a bunch of 14 year olds including her little sister (how embarrassing!). her plans were thwarted. she got punched in the face and made fun of. she already got her punishment.

it just……immediately registers as over-the-top Wrong to be told “hey, remember that antagonist you beat last season? she’s still being punished for that, except it’s way worse than just going to mumple.”

and there’s that reminder that like…this is a teenager. a child. who has been manipulated and abused. which is a really fascinating look at this character we used to see pretty much unilaterally as a one dimensional bitchy villain.

i mean we got a more in depth look at Penelope’s and Biz’s motivations in s1 (Penelope being the popular rich girl sorceress obviously hungry for power and the alllure of the high school clout that is being prom queen, but also we know that her having to turn on her best friend Sam Nightingale as part of the scheme was something she was reluctant and not happy to do; and Biz being that predatory incel creeper type dude besides just a nerd with computers and a lack of social graces). and they were as much willingly active in the plot as Aelwyn was. yet in s1 they really never do bother to explore Aelwyn’s motivations. i remember after watching s1 but before s2 that was one of my biggest lingering questions: why tf was Aelwyn involved?

well. she was manipulated and abused. her terrible parents raised her in an awful environment that conditioned her to Listen and Obey and Behave and Be Perfect, and then Kalina helped cinch the noose around her neck with threats and coersion into the KVS Kaper and the NMK crown debacle. she doesn’t freely choose any of it; she’s coerced, manipulated, abused.

and she already got justifiably punished for her bad actions in s1. the torture is almost literal overkill. it’s just……there’s this immediate turnaround in sympathy and view of the character. on first watch, it’s viscerally upsetting to see her getting so brutally punished for actions she already faced consequences for, and on rewatch, it makes your skin crawl to know she’s being tortured for terrible things she had little choice in carrying out. and tortured by some of the very same people who coerced her to behave terribly in the first place, to add insult to injury.

and it’s still fucking frustrating when they rescue her and her memory gets reset and she goes back to her parents because it’s like “well shit, she’s evil again, and we just wasted all that effort for nothing” but it’s also sad cause we know she’s running back to her abusers and she isn’t happy about it but doesn’t feel like she has a choice. and it’s sadder still that what eventually inevitably gets her to turn to good for good (i.e. away from her parents) is just. a full dissociative mental breakdown.

(but then she survives and it’s gonna be good!!! until Adaine dies in her fucking arms. which is. almost funny. she’s been through so much shit and that isn’t something that Brennan would have just. preplanned. like a written in plot point. no, that was just an unpredictable consequence of the battle. what a juicy fucking moment. she’s been through All That Shit™️ and has finally turned to fight for good and her sister just fully dies in front of her. yeowch)

and she turns out okay in the end. she comes out the other side alive and whole and supported by her sister and her friends, with the hope of a future and recovery. there is an acknowledgement that A) she can and will grow from her mistakes and damage, B) it’s going to be really hard, and C) the post-s2 one shots both prove that she’s doing okay now. hell, she has a whole squad now of other former-teenage-villains-turned-good-guys. she has friends now, Ragh and Zayn, with common ground, and a secret handshake and everything. they’ve all grown from the mistakes of their past into better, happier, healthier people

and about Zayn and Ragh. we’ve seen a lot of characters, protagonist and antagonist, teenage and adult, PC and NPC do some really fucked up shit and get punished for it. but why do they get happy endings? why are Aelwyn, Ragh, and Zayn the only members of the RVS and not someone else like Biz or Penelope or Dayne? 

well, the latter two are dead by then; but then again, Biz and Ragh were also killed by the Bad Kids in s1, and subsequently resurrected. (Zayn died too, but was neither killed nor revived at the Bad Kids’ hands, so i’ll get to him in a sec.) and there are plenty of adult antagonists the Bad Kids face who are killed and left that way by the Bad Kids without second thought: Johnny Spells, Coach Daybreak, Captain Wicklaw, the Abernant parents (presuming Arianwen doesn’t survive in the forest for very long, which i doubt). why do some characters get second chances while others don’t?

in the case of Zayn, his death was pretty much out of the Bad Kids’ hands, and they later found out he was manipulated by Daybreak into being bad anyway because of his sad living situation. he was a pretty minor antagonist in the scheme of things, and when we re-meet him as a ghost in the s1 epilogue, he’s pretty obviously remorseful for his actions. and dying seems like a steep enough punishment to me for the shit he did to contribute to the KVX caper; returning as a ghost, free from the trappings of his unfortunate living life, he now has the room and freedom to grow into a better person.

in the cases of Daybreak, Spells, Wicklaw, and the Abernant parents: these are bad people who should know better. these are fully grown adults who actively choose to do evil. whether they think it’s the right thing to do or not (in Daybreak’s case), whether they think it will benefit them and don’t care about anyone else (in the Abernants’ case), or whether they don’t care much at all and are just doing shit because they feel like it (in the cases of Spells and Wicklaw), these are all adults who consciously make the decision to do terrible things and hurt other people. of course Johnny Spells, who is generally a punk thief and thug, is not on the same level of bad as Angwyn, who kidnaps and tortures his own daughters for political gain, but the point remains. these fuckers should know better. they’re grown ups. they had their chances to be good and they chose not to heed them. their minds are set on bad actions and they are a continued danger to other people as long as they are alive. when they die, the Bad Kids do their damndest to make sure it stays that way.

now, in the cases of Penelope and Dayne: these are teenagers who actively chose to participate in an evil plot. Penelope, Dayne, and Biz were all fully cognizant of what they were doing trying to raise KVX back to his former power. why? well, to some extent, we can only speculate. i suspect Penelope was just one of those Regina George bitches who is rich and popular and powerful and obsessed with power and popularity within high school as if that’s the end-all-be-all of existence (which, like, when you’re currently in high school, is a somewhat understandable worldview i think). Dayne being her boyfriend and a musclehead jock probably falls into a similar line of thinking. they are actively and willingly trying to cause harm, and teenager or not, must be stopped. they’re killed, anyway, during the Climactic Battle™️ anyhow; it’s not like the Bad Kids were going to gain anything at that point by keeping them alive.

now, Biz: Biz is the creepy Nice Guy incel type, sees woman as a prize he deserves to win, yadda yadda. he does, like Penelope and Dayne, actively choose to help KVX. there might be something to be said about his motivation the Bad Kids discover after the arcade battle by detecting his thoughts (that being to upload the captured maidens from the palimpsests to “call the shots” himself) is an altered memory; whether this was his original motivation from the start or not, i’m not sure. but the Bad Kids do kill him – and then resurrect him for important, time-sensitive information. and they beat it out of him – he gets two of his fucking fingers blown off. and Riz reattaches them once they have their info, and they realize his memory is altered. of course, the Bad Kids don’t know at this point that the altered memory was something he, Penelope, and Aelwyn had planned and agreed on and done to themselves, but this points to something important in my opinion: the Bad Kids, and the narrative/show as a whole by extension, acknowledge that external manipulation affects how guilty someone is in a crime.

which brings us to Ragh. Ragh, introduced from episode 1 as the meathead jock. Ragh the archetypical one-dimensional high school bully. Ragh who works with the harvestmen in effort to (ostensibly) end the world/provoke international war. Ragh, whose low intelligence but high loyalty and internalized homophobia led him to be fully swayed and blindly led by his coach and captain, who have actively chosen to do evil. Ragh who is killed in combat by the Bad Kids and resurrected for information, not Daybreak. Ragh, who the Bad Kids realize was probably not aware of exactly what he was being made to do and how bad it really was. Ragh, who by their kindness in sparing his life and directing him on a better path, becomes a well-rounded character and an active ally to the Bad Kids during and after prom, an invaluable companion during their quest in sophomore year, and overall a really good friend and person. 

(it might also be worth considering the case of Jawbone here, too, who started out a very minor antagonist in a fight but ended up becoming a major NPC because the Bad Kids talked to him, found out he came from an unfortunate situation and set of circumstances, and showed him kindness in offering the school guidance counselor position, a kindness that isn’t really owed but given anyway and ends up changing his entire life for good.)

and then, Aelwyn, whose case is already discussed above. so, why is the RVS what it is, why them but not others?

if you’re familiar with Avatar: the Last Airbender, you’re probably familiar with Zuko’s character arc, and how it’s often lauded as a masterful example of developing a villain into a hero over the course of a narrative. what makes Zuko’s arc so well done and exceptional is that he starts out as a kid in a bad situation under the influence of bad adults seeking to do bad deeds, but he later realizes the error of those ways, actively removes himself from that situation despite the difficulty and danger in doing so, goes through a lot of shit and reflects on his past mistakes and learns from them, and then actively chooses to fight for good in the end with the help of close, trusted friends, found family. 

this, i believe, is the same in the case of Fantasy High and its treatment of the RVS. its members, like Zuko, are all teenagers who came from shitty situations and were manipulated by evil adults to do bad. they are punished for their bad actions, and they learn from their errors and mistakes. with the kindness and help of good people, friends and chosen family, they are able to escape their abusers and bad situations and grow into their own people. and they actively choose to improve themselves with that help and fight for good.

Fantasy High, through the arcs of Jawbone, Zayn, Ragh, and especially Aelwyn, asserts that it is not your fault if you come from a bad situation and are forced to behave badly as a result. it does not pretend that you are absolved of any responsibility for those actions; quite the opposite, as even though they were externally manipulated into their evil actions, all of those mentioned characters face tangible consequences for their actions and later express remorse for their mistakes. but Fantasy High also asserts that even if you have made great mistakes in your past, even if you came from a bad situation beyond your control, even if you were manipulated and abused, with care and love and support and a hell of a lot of work and effort, you can improve your situation and find good, happiness, peace, you can thrive. evil adults who should know better don’t get redeemed. teenagers who aren’t coerced but actively choose evil don’t get redeemed. but abused kids deserve another shot at happiness. with enough work, and some love and help along the way, they can get there, even from the lowest imaginable point, from rock fucking buttom. it’s possible. 

[cactusnymph]

Prompt fill #9 for @dimension20alphabet:

Injury

The air smells of smoke, dust and blood.

 Fabian is pretty sure that his left foot is broken, which sucks because he’s going to have a hard time kicking anyone’s ass without both his feet. Dancing will also be difficult.

 He clutches his battle sheet and tries to pull his foot out of the rubble it got stuck between. If he gets his hands on the bastards who made this damn cave explode above them even their ancestors are going to have a headache waking up tomorrow.

 But for that to happen, Fabian needs to get out of here.

 “Fabian?”

 Riz’ voice sounds hoarse and muffled and Fabian assumes that he’s somewhere behind another pile of rubble.

 “I’m over here”, he answers and tries to make his voice sound casual and not like he wants to do something embarrassing, like whimper from the pain. Fabian can barely anything and breathing is hard because there is so much dust in the air.

 “I’ll—let me see if I can get to you. You okay?”, Riz asks. Fabian doesn’t waste his breath to answer, he tries to push some of the rubble away from his ankle and lets out a wheezing breath. His mouth tastes like iron.

 He can hear Riz try to move the rubble out of the way, but his arms are like tiny twigs so Fabian doesn’t see how he’ll get any of that shit to move. And Fabian, being uselessly stuck with his damn foot, can’t help him.

 Fabian thought that splitting up the party was the smartest move, but now he regrets their choices because damn, they sure could use Kristen’s healing or Adaine’s magic or Gorgug’s insane muscles to move some of this shit.

 The quest to defeat the Night Yorb hasn’t exactly gone well so far. Fabian feels like being stuck in a fucking cave with his foot broken and his mouth full of blood is the peak of bad luck that they have reached so far. He can only hope that the others had more success on their ventures.

 But as far as he knows, they’re also stuck somewhere in here.

 Fabian never specifically had a problem with small, closed spaces, but right now he feels like his chest is unusually tight and he could swear that the damn ceiling is getting closer while he’s desperately trying to get his foot unstuck.

 The rubble behind him shifts and a few pained noises bring Fabian back to reality as a small, lithe shape wiggles itself through an impossible tiny crack made in the pile behind him as Riz appears, his head bleeding profusely and his face contorted in a mix of determination and pain.

 “Are you okay?”, Riz asks again the second he scrambles through the hole he made. Fabian notices that his hands are also bleeding—probably from digging through all those stones. Something in Fabian’s chest feels like a nervous bird fluttering against his rib cage and it takes him a confused moment to realize that it’s his heart.

 Riz has been different since they defeated the Nightmare King.

 More self confident somehow. Less awkward. Scarily competent.

 And he stopped wearing his hat.

 Fabian has been feeling weird around him for a while, but the fact that this little Goblin dug himself through sharp rocks to get to him, bleeding and bruised and hurt, and the first thing he does is ask if Fabian is okay—it does things to him.

 Fabian refuses to acknowledge this.

 “My foot is stuck”, he says.

 Riz—and he’s been Riz for a while now, at least in Fabian’s head, and not The Ball anymore—turns his huge, yellow eyes to the stones that are crushing Fabian’s foot between them.

 “Got it”, Riz says and without doing anything about his bleeding head or his bleeding hands he gets to work, his small frame working tirelessly, determined, stubborn even. The rocks are big—way too big for Riz to actually lift them.

 But Riz wouldn’t be Riz if he wouldn’t be a nerd even about stuff like this.

 Using his sword as leverage he manages to roll the bigger ones off of the pile. While he works Fabian can see blood dripping down the sword and Riz’ face.

 He swallows heavily.

 “You’re bleeding”, he croaks.

 “I know. I’ll take care of it in a second”, Riz answers.

 He’s focused.

 Fabian knows that, when Riz gets like this, there is no way to deter him from the task at hand. It sometimes happens for a project at school, or when he has a case he’s close to cracking. He disappears into his head and into his task at hand and it takes hours for him to appear again.

 Fabian doesn’t know when exactly he started to catalogue all of Riz’ facial expressions and behaviors, but he has quite the collection so far.

 Riz works in silence. Sometimes, when he gets like this, he starts mumbling to himself, but not this time.

 He looks almost grim.

 Fabian isn’t sure if it’s actually getting warmer in here or if that’s just him.

 “Do you think the others got stuck as well?”, he says to distract himself from the heat crawling under his skin and the fluttering in his chest.

 “Probably not. By my estimation they should be way further down already”, Riz murmurs and wipes some sweat off his forehead, which simply leaves a smearing of blood where his hand touches his green skin.

 Fabian has no idea since when his damn brain finds it mesmerizing to see blood on his best friend’s skin, but here he is, staring at Riz because he looks weirdly... ragged? Badass?

 Fabian is annoyed at himself.

 When he finally feels the weight lifted off his ankle he pulls his leg out and makes a pained noise in the back of his throat that causes Riz’ concentrated gaze to turn to him. His yellow eyes remind Fabian of cats’ eyes in the dark and he swallows again as Riz comes over to him and touches Fabian’s face to turn his head to the side so he can inspect his wounds.

 Fabian’s heart stumbles in his chest.

 Gods dammit, this is completely ridiculous.

 “You bleeding anywhere else?”, Riz asks and then his eyes find Fabian’s and they’re staring at each other. Fabian knows that Riz is in no headspace to think about kissing, but damn, Fabian does. Fabian’s stupid brain tells him to just grab Riz by the shoulders and pull him down, pull him on top of Fabian to minimize the space between them—

 “Fabian? You got a concussion? Let me check your eyes.”

 Riz gets even closer.

 Fabian thinks he might die.

 He thinks about the way Aelwyn made him feel back then, when he got so excited about kissing her again. Somehow that was nothing compared to how he’s been feeling about Riz for a while now. As Fig said, kissing someone you’re “madly in love with just hits different”.

 “Don’t think so”, he manages and his voice sounds like sandpaper on stone.

 “Okay. I have my healer’s kit. Just let me clean my hands real quick.”

 Fabian watches how Riz procures water and his healer’s kit from his bag and starts washing his hands as good as he can before he tries to wrap bandages around both of his hands. He lets out a frustrated hiss.

 “Let me—“, Fabian says and grabs Riz’ hands.

 To be fair, Fabian never paid much attention when Cathilda or Kristen tried to teach him first aid because it never was of much interest to him—and now he definitely wishes he had listened a little closer. But it can’t be that difficult to wrap a tiny pair of Goblin hands in bandages to make them stop bleeding.

 “You have to do, like, a kind of V-shape. Yeah. Like that. Not too tight, please. Yeah, that works.”

 What Fabian didn’t really think through was that now he’s somewhat holding Riz’ hands. Which doesn’t exactly help his brain or his heart to calm down. At least his internal turmoil distracts him from the pain and the situation they’re currently in.

 He remembers how Riz stole that healer’s kit on their very first day of school. He’s had it ever since and restocked it carefully for each of their adventures, taking great care to learn how to give first aid to his friends when everyone else was out of spells or they were separated.

 “Thanks, Fabian”, Riz says once it’s done and he wiggles his fingers slightly, then turns his eyes back on Fabian’s face.

 “I’ll take care of your head first and then I can check out that foot. Maybe I can—I dunno. Make a splint or something.”

 “You—uh. You got really good at this”, Fabian says and turns his gaze upwards so he doesn’t have to focus on Riz’ yellow eyes right in front of him anymore.

 “Thanks”, Riz mumbles and his bandages fingers touch Fabian’s face gently.

 Fabian kind of wishes one of the rocks had just knocked him out.

 This is pathetic.

 He is Fabian Aramais Seacaster.

 Maybe his confidence died briefly—or for a longer period of time—back on their Spring Break adventure, but he’s been building it back up! He’s a catch! He’s amazing!

 Riz should be the one getting nervous because he’s allowed to touch Fabian’s handsome face.

 “I think once we’re patched up you should take my sword and teleport through all that rubble and I’ll try to crawl back. We need to find the others.”

 “You shouldn’t crawl back through that, The Ball”, Fabian says, thinking about Riz’s bloody hands. Riz shouldn’t get hurt on Fabian’s behalf.

 Gods, Fabian has it bad.

 “It’s fine. I’m smaller than you, so it’s easier for me. And I don’t think you should move too much with that brok—“

 “I’m in—I have feelings. For you.”

 Silence.

 Fabian doesn’t dare to breathe. Two seconds ago it felt right to finally say it, but now he’s regretting all his life choices leading up to this, as Riz’ yellow eyes stare at him, his small fingers still on Fabian’s forehead, holding a piece of gauze against the wound.

 “Wh—what?”

 “Forget it—it’s uh—I probably do have a concussion. Nevermind!”

 He can tell that Riz doesn’t buy it and also that Fabian’s words have ripped him out of his state of hyper-focus, something that Fabian has never managed to do before. Maybe he should feel kind of proud. But instead he feels sick to his stomach.

 “Feelings? Like—uh—like...”

 Fabian sees the confidence slip from Riz’ face like a mask he wore, and underneath is still the socially awkward kid handing people fucking business cards and vomiting inside of backpacks because he heard some clues.

 “Yeah. Like that”, he says.

 It’s hard to see in the dark, but Fabian could swear that Riz’ cheeks are tinted dark green.

 “Really?”

 His voice sounds very small now. Nervous. As if he expects Fabian to start laughing and say “Of course not, The Ball”. Which is probably fair. It’s not like Fabian ever managed to make his appreciation of his best friend very clear.

 “Hm.”

 “Oh.”

 “Oh? What does that mean?”

 “I—uh—I don’t. Um—this is—“

 Riz laughs nervously and turns his head.

 “I didn’t—um. Well”, he laughs again and sits down, hugs his knees and props his chin on top of them. “I kinda didn’t expect to ever hear that. From you. Um—yeah. It’s been... a long time. For me? I guess.”

Fabian’s brain short circuits and his heart does a very complicated dancing routine.

 “You—what?”

 Riz peaks up at him. Shrugs.

 “I’ve kinda been in love with you since. I don’t even know. A long time.”

 “For real?”

 “Yeah. For real.”

 “Okay, fuck this cave. Fuck this whole thing. We have to get out of here so I can fucking kiss your brains out. Give me your sword.”

 Riz hides his face for a second and then he laughs, a shaky, nervous but also happy laugh. He does not hand Fabian his sword.

 “First the wounds. Then the sword. Then—then the other stuff.”

 “Fine. You better hurry up.”

 “I will. Hold still.”

 Fabian is still determined to kick everyone’s ass once they get out of this. But maybe he’ll also send them some fruit baskets to the hospital afterwards.

[swarmkeepers]

riz & gorgug for #5! ✨

5. heard you tell the same story multiple times but doesn’t point it out to you when you excitedly bring it up to them again + riz & gorgug (prompts linked here)

(starting immediately post-fhsy, and a little more angsty than the other prompt fills so far because it deals with some of the aftermath of spring break. sometimes friendship is late nights and brownie recipes and old stories.)

There are forty minutes left until Elmville when Riz digs his claws into the headrest of the passenger’s seat and clambers over the seat backs to sit shotgun in the Hangvan. 

Everyone else is asleep, or as Riz suspects in Tracker’s case as she stays oddly still as a human pillow for Kristen in the backseat, at least pretending to. But Riz is quest-restless even though they’re heading home, and Gorgug’s awake because he’s driving, and both of their darkvision light up the street ahead for them. 

Gorgug doesn’t look surprised when Riz lands in the seat next to him. Of course. Because his whole party knows that Riz doesn’t sleep, or at least has to be told to, or has to know that there are hit points to be regenerated and a fight to be alert for the next day. 

Streetlights speed by and Gorgug brings the van to a smooth stop at a light, accelerating smoothly up afterwards to not jostle anyone in the backseat. He’s practiced, easy, calm. Meanwhile, Riz’s thoughts are a messy turbulent maelstrom. He can’t sleep, and after everything in the Nightmare Forest if he never saw a bed again it’d be too soon. But, forget sleep, his brain isn’t even letting him relax right now, and Riz is struggling to figure out the questions that are on the tip of his tongue. His fingers itch for a ball of red string, trying to figure out why he wanted to be up here with the passenger seat and the windshield and Gorgug.

“What’s being a barbarian like?” he asks quietly, and Gorgug doesn’t exactly startle but does tip his head to the side curiously. 

“Can I ask why?” 

“I’m—angry,” Riz says, surprising himself, but it feels true enough. “I killed Kalina, but she said she was with me my whole life. And I hate that.” He wants to hiss, to bare his teeth and make the hair on the back of his neck stand up, but it’s not Gorgug he’s mad at. “Sometimes I wonder if I should use that to. Hit things.” 

“Okay,” Gorgug says. 

“And you—you know about that. About being angry, and not being. As comfortable. Or at least you’ve said stuff like that.” Riz picks at his long fingernails, pretending to be nonchalant and not looking up to see if Gorgug’s insight is better than his shitty attempt at deception. 

“Tell me about why you wanted to be a rogue?” Gorgug asks instead, and Riz understands it’s not really a question. He trusts Gorgug. He thinks about it. 

“Um, my mom was always a detective, I guess. And my dad was a spy, but I guess I didn’t know that.” Riz spends a lot of his time thinking. He’s realizing he doesn’t spend a lot of time thinking about himself. Maybe he needs to make a new conspiracy board. “Uh. I guess the first time I ever saw Penny sneak attack someone was really cool, I definitely knew I wanted to do that.”

Gorgug makes a soft hm? noise that asks Riz to keep talking. “Because I was little and Penny’s little too, and we were at the mall and some asshole catcalled her? And oh, man, you should have seen her, Penny was probably an Aguefort freshman then? But she told me to hide behind this vending machine and—”

--

They’re all the way home, with the Mordred Manor crew taking their stuff out of the trunk while Gorgug and Riz keep talking. Riz finished his story hurriedly as they pulled into the driveway, ending with Penny teaching Riz to make brownie bars at Strongtower after the sneak attack incident and being so cool and badass and nonchalant about making that guy’s nose gush with blood. He’s talking fast and gesturing big like he doesn’t usually, caught up in a story that he can tell well and that he hadn’t thought of in a while. Him and his rogue friends are tiny badasses. 

“That was a good story,” Gorgug says. “Rogues seem pretty cool.” 

Riz grins, all his fangs out and happy in the driveway of the manor. “Thanks, dude.” 

“I think you can be angry and not a barbarian,” Gorgug says, gently. 

And “Okay,” Riz says, gentled. 

--

It’s the tail end of one of Fabian’s all-out summertime ragers. The Bad Kids are in a big cuddle pile that barely fits on the picnic blanket on the lawn of Seacaster Manor, and Gorgug’s at the very bottom. Riz is tipsy on half a beer (goblin metabolisms are not good and it’s not his fault) and he thinks Gorgug looks a little lonely, lying on his stomach and tapping at his crystal with all the wind knocked out of him from everyone lying on top. He scrambles down the pile of friend-bodies and sits on the grass by Gorgug. Riz racks his brain for something good to say. He doesn’t want Gorgug to be lonely, not when Riz is going to be up all night and Riz is usually the lonely one.

“Di’ I ever tell you about the first time I saw someone get sneak attacked,” Riz says, words big and bubbly and coming out too fast. He doesn’t care, he’s buzzed and happy and Gorgug looks like he could use a good story.

“I don’t remember, tell me,” Gorgug says, putting his crystal down face down so its glow goes dark. 

“Oh man, you’re going to love this story. It was, like, me ‘n Penny at the mall, and there was this real asshole of a dude, and I didn’t know Penny went to Aguefort but she took out this knife? And it was like she flew at him—”

At some point in the story Gorgug falls asleep, and Riz is more pleased than annoyed. He looks cozy. And not lonely. 

--

“What’s this, The Ball?” Fabian asks when Riz takes a fantasy tupperware of brownie bars out of his briefcase and puts it on the the table in the cafeteria.

“They’re sneak attack brownies,” Riz says. 

It evidently does not clear up any of Fabian’s questions. 

“Penny—Penny Luckstone?—they’re her recipe, she taught me how to make them the same day I ever saw her sneak attack a dude,” he explains. “She like, jumped out from behind one of those fake potted plants at the mall and slashed him so bad with a dagger and then she didn’t even get sneak attack on it but she also socked him in the nose and it was like the coolest thing I’d ever seen. And then she just went home and washed the blood off her fist and then we made brownies.” He puts a hand on his chest. “And I’ll never forget it.” 

“Okay, The Ball,” Fabian says, but he takes a brownie. 

Next to him, Gorgug’s already halfway into his second, nodding happily and energetically so his hair flops in front of his face. “I love that story!” he says. He’s all leaned in, listening to Riz’s story.

Riz lights up—he’s no Fabian, with expensive magical gifts, and he’s no Gorgug either with little artificed trinkets and sweeping big gestures. But he’d remembered the story and remembered the brownies and wanted to make some, and he’s just glad his friends like them as much as he does.

“Because the secret ingredient is sour cream,” Riz confides. Fabian fake-sputters, sending tiny brownie crumbs everywhere, and Gorgug swats at him. 

“You were eating it just fine before!” Gorgug says indignantly. “Respect the brownie, dude!”

“You’re right, Gorgug,” Fabian sighs. He takes another bite. “They’re not bad, The Ball.” 

--

Riz only dimly registers footsteps pounding up the stairs and also a greataxe brute forcing its way through the booby traps at his office door. His crystal is abandoned on the floor next to him, the last text he sent to Gorgug still on the screen. It’d been “Having a bad time. At my office. Can you come help? Thanks, Riz” and it’d been typed out with shaky fingers as his breaths started coming too fast, the way it does whenever he lets himself be alone in his own office for too long. Riz hates it but he needs help. He forgot the period on that text and it’s been staring at him for the past few minutes. 

His brain is whirring too fast—Shadow Cat, Kalina’s eyes in his own eyes, Baron in his mirror in his own office, darkness and danger and Fabian in churning waters, he died in that forest and so did Adaine and so could any of his friends, bullets dodged and bullets fired and it’s too much, too much. His breaths are coming too fast but also not fast enough. Riz feels suffocated. 

He’s wedged himself into his own briefcase of holding, the sides squeezing his arms in a way that’s grounding and comforting when nobody else is here in his office to help.

But Gorgug is. Gorgug is here to help now. He skids to a stop in front of Riz and sits on the floor and Riz only dimly registers it out of the corner of his eye where his head is curled into his chest trying to make himself small, make himself safe. 

“Riz, can I touch you?”

Riz does his best to nod and Gorgug just wraps long lanky boy arms around his torso, gently lifting Riz out of his own briefcase and settling him in Gorgug’s lap as they sit on the floor of the office. He doesn’t let go, just squeezes tighter. It’s so much help, and also— “Can you. Talk? Anything— Anything’s fine,” Riz says. 

“Um. Sure, Riz. I guess I can. I could list a recipe? My parents have been trying to teach me to cook more, for when we go to college in a couple of years. I’m sorry, I’m not like Adaine, I don’t have lots of interesting things memorized,” Gorgug says, apologetic. Riz wants to be able to tell him not to be, but he’s a little preoccupied trying to make his brain tell his lungs to breathe.

“Uh, so these are called sneak attack brownies?” Gorgug says hesitantly. Riz realizes what he’s doing and tries to laugh, the giggle interrupting the choked breath he was trying to take.

“They’re called sneak attack brownies because they’re my badass friend’s recipe. And he learned it from his badass friend. Um, I don’t know this super well, actually, but I really should by now and I’m just going to keep talking and if it’s wrong then I guess it’s wrong? I know that you need chocolate for a brownie. And eggs and sugar. You told me the secret ingredient is sour cream.”

Riz nods, thudding his head into Gorgug’s chest a little. He takes a deep breath. Gorgug’s hoodie is soft. And he’s a good listener.

“Right, uh. After sour cream. Flour. And butter?”

“The butter’s— the butter’s unsalted,” Riz manages to eke out, voice small and quiet and mostly talking to his own knees. 

“Got you. Unsalted butter,” Gorgug agrees, easy as anything. 

“Penny said— Penny said that dude she punched’s tears were salty enough, that’s how I remember it,” Riz tells him.

“Tell me more?” Gorgug asks, and he waits patiently as Riz lets his brain just focus on a recipe, an easy recipe and a badass story. It helps, to be given something focused to do. And Riz is just so, so glad he has friends who will give that to him, will listen over and over again when Riz needs to talk. 

And Gorgug waits. And Riz tells him. 

from the prompt list linked here! i’m closing prompts from this particular list simply because i have so many excellent ones to get through

[etanunu]

I’m sick and anxious as hell so in order to bring myself some hope and joy, I’m making some Fantasy High AU headcanons cause a girl’s too busy to finish a fic atm.

Here’s the first. Fantasy High Western. Like y’all just think of it. First of all I’d die for a D20 western but also the ✨aesthetic✨

Fig and Gorgug work at the local saloon. Normally, Fig works as a waitress and Gorgug tends the bar.

The saloon is called the Pit and is owned by, you guessed it, Gilear. Why? Because I think it’s hilarious and I also love the idea that Gorthalax is normally a bounty hunter/master of disguise who spends most of his time traveling. He figured after cucking Gilear he owed the guy, so he left him in charge of the Pit. Also, it was definitely all Fig’s idea.

Fig and the Cig Figs are normally the main entertainers at the Pit and they fucking rock hard. By which I mean Gorgug still plays the drums but sometimes he hunches over a tiny standing piano while Fig sings music made specifically written to roast the patrons of the Pit.

Kristen Applebees is still a follower of Helio at the beginning, still all about her god, but this time it isn’t meeting god that changes her it’s plain and simple the cult sucks and she witnesses their crimes first hand. Meeting the rest of the Bad Kids, getting close to people outside of her religion, and falling for Tracker are all things that slowly help her overcome years of brainwashing.

She meets Fig and Adaine at the Pit when she goes there to hang out and expand her worldview. She tricked Daybreak (the cult leader in this narrative) by saying she was there to recruit. Instead she has fun with Fig, who is the opposite of everyone she’s ever known, and Adaine, who’s anxieties open up some vulnerabilities in her. Also, I just want more moments with the three girls cause like it’s cute y’all.

Speaking of Adaine...so here’s the thing. It’s pretty simple, cut and dry stuff, she’s the daughter of wealthy diplomats who have been sent to Solace from Fallinel. Basically, things stay mostly the same except instead of being a wizard Adaine is a straight up witch. I’m talking covens, I’m talking moonlit potion making, I’m talking the Abernants have their status cause of magic.

Adaine meets witches from new covens throughout the story; namely Ayda and Tracker. But before she meets them she meets Fig, she meets Gorgug, she meets Kristen, and then she meets--dun, dun, dunnn!

Riz Gukgak, private investigator, son of Sklonda Gukgak, Marshal at Law. Sure, most of his cases have been about lost pets, and sure, technically his mom doesn’t approve, but he’s good. Like really good. He broke the case on an opioid ring run by Johnny Spells while solving the mystery behind Zayne Darkshadow’s missing rat.

Recently, his friend Penny and her family got on a wagon to move and settle outside the Nightmare King’s Forest but the wagon never made it far past the borders of Spyre. The wagon was found tipped over, all of her family was killed, but Penny’s body was nowhere to be found. Riz thinks she’s been kidnapped for some nefarious plot but everyone believes the coyotes just ate her body before anyone found them

Enter Fabian Aramais Seacaster. Do y’all know about traveling wild west shows? Think Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show. These were not super ethical, but they were traveling shows where a lot of the entertainment ranged from freak shows to storytelling to shooting demonstrations. Normally, these began because some writer would take a person’s heroic tales on the west and amp up what actually happened. Fabian Seacaster, son of the infamous outlaw and desperado Bill Seacaster, is riding across Solace in his three-man show (the other men are Ragh and Cathilda, who his mother sent with him to take care of him) spreading his legend  and showing off his amazing sword fighting. He’s most famous for his father’s legacy but following that he’s famous (or trying to be) for slicing a bullet in half and for beating anybody armed with a gun with only his blade alone. And Ragh is just a beast, does like a whole strongman routine.

I imagine the story starts with Fig, Adaine, Kristen, and Gorgug meeting at the Pit. Riz comes in for a drink, but mostly for a tip. He wants to know if Fig has been able to get in contact with Gorthalax because he has a lot of criminal contacts and Riz’s only clue is a matchbook he found from the Nine Hells Theater, a famous den of sin where a lot of outlaws and criminals hang. She asks him if it’s time sensitive cause Gorthalax has been deep undercover. Riz is bummed out, he needs a new lead. Then they hear a racket outside, Fabian Aramais Seacaster’s Wild West Show.

Riz realizes Fabian’s dad might be able to get him into the Nine Hells Theater and immediately sets out to befriend him. By which I mean they duel. If Riz wins Fabian will help, if Fabian wins then Riz will leave him and Ragh alone so they can do their show.

Basically the Harvest Men are involved somehow, got some classic found family stuff, shoot outs, and nonstop daring do. Also kisses, lots of kisses, cause your girl is a shipper and can’t help it.

I have some other thoughts, especially regarding shipping and shipping moments but that’s all I’ve got right now.

[grumpyhedgehogs]

tangled up in your old bedsheets

Summary:  Fabian wraps Riz in his sheet a lot, The Hangman is strangely jealous all of a sudden, and Riz figures some things out on his own.

~

It takes maybe a lot longer than it should for Fabian to understand exactly what’s happening with the whole “wrapping Riz up in his sheet all the time” thing. In his defense, there’s a lot of shit going down when it first happens. Riz has just been revivified only to be kicked off a fucking cliff by Kalina and the world is in peril and Fabian is stretching, stretching, stretching, to reach Riz before he’s lost to him forever. So when the fire elemental snags the goblin out of the air and kisses his cheek and Fabian curls his best friend into himself, swaddling him like a newborn, the half-elf doesn’t think much of it other than thank the gods you’re alright.

But then it happens again. And again. And again. And no matter what, even when Fabian doles out gifts and aggressively supports all his friends, Riz is the only one who ever seems to end up wrapped in Fabian’s sheet.

Fabian realizes this the summer after sophomore year and then aggressively stops thinking about what it could mean.

~

When the Night Yorb is defeated, Riz dies again. Thankfully Kristen is standing right next to him when he goes down so their rogue isn’t out for long but Fabian feels it deep in his bones. He sees the light go out of Riz’s eyes, watches, like he had just last spring, as his best friend falls, limp, to the ground. He sees him die and is unable to do anything about it. Again.

That evening, they have a bonfire. The final showdown had happened on the beach, where the Night Yorb had been ready to extend its power from the shores of Solace to Leviathan to Fallinel and beyond until the Bad Kids stopped it.

Now, Kristen and Fig are teaching Ayda how to shotgun a beer with mixed results. Adaine and Aelwyn are curled together, Aelwyn already trancing after using every ounce of her abjuration magic to keep her sister from being completely obliterated in the last ten minutes of the battle. Gorgug had almost immediately been mobbed with invasive, uncomfortable relationship advice from the Seven Maidens, who had come to help in the last fight after Riz had cracked the code which revealed the location of the Night Yorb’s power source with Zelda’s help. The half-orc seems fine, if a little overwhelmed by their chattering--Zelda is at least acting as something of a buffer.

Fabian and Riz had been side by side to strike the finishing blow to the Night Yorb when it went down. He’d turned and looked at Riz and had seen the bruises and the blood and the lines of pain in his face and had pulled out his sheet without hesitation. Riz hadn’t even pretended to protest.

Now, as they sit in the shadows, the fire’s light flickering over the bags under Riz’s eyes and the hollows of his cheeks, Fabian doesn’t pretend to resist the urge he has to pull the fabric tighter around Riz, tucking it between his arms and chest so it can’t pull free when the goblin shifts. He’s pressed up against Fabian’s side, half on top of him as Fabian drapes his arms around him and pulls one knee up against his back. His other leg extends out towards the fire and they’d both kicked off their shoes like everyone else had a long time ago. He digs his toes into the cold sand and lets it remind him he’s alive. They have survived.

“You know, I’m not actually that cold,” Riz mutters. His ears are drooping with exhaustion. Fabian hums and leans his chin on the crown of his head. Riz’s hair smells like seasalt. “You could take your blanket back now.”

“Battle sheet,” Fabian corrects absentmindedly. “You uncomfortable?”

“No.” His voice is so soft. He wriggles one hand out of the sheet--Fabian feels an unhappy rumble begin in his chest--and curls his clawed fingers around Fabian's hand, splayed in the sand beside Riz’s sheet-encased hip for balance. Fabian tightened his grip immediately. The rumble dies in his throat. “No, I’m not.”

“Good.” Fabian tugs the sheet just a little more, secures it, and rests.

~

It happens when they’re not in mortal danger or coming down from a battle high, too. The first time Fabian notices it--and when he notices Riz noticing it--is movie night. All the Bad Kids as well as Ragh, Tracker, Ayda and Aelwyn are gathered at Mordred Manor, sprawled over couches and armchairs and across the floor. Fabian is cuddled up to Aelwyn on the couch, Adaine on her other side, when he is chosen to be the first sacrifice in the name of snack refills. Naturally, he tells everyone goodnaturedly that he hates them, and goes.

Fabian isn’t even really thinking about it when he does it.

He comes back and sets the popcorn in Tracker’s lap and hands the sodas out and then he realizes that his spot next to Aelwyn has been filled by Fig, who is sitting with Ayda in her lap and very much not paying attention to the crystal screen. Both Abernant sisters do not look like they appreciate this development, but neither are very likely to say anything in the name of keeping the peace.

So Fabian shrugs and begrudgingly lopes over to the cushy armchair with the winged back where Riz is curled up with his knees to his chest. The Ball looks up, startled, but doesn’t make a sound when Fabian picks him right up, plops down in the armchair and then sets The Ball down beside him. Without even really looking away from the movie, the half-elf digs out his sheet and unfolds it, letting the sparks settle before he spreads it over both of them. Riz is wedged between his left thigh and the armrest, small enough that he doesn’t have to fully sit in Fabian’s lap to share the space. He does have to lean into Fabian’s side to see the screen around him though; Fabian feels more than sees The Ball glance at him out of the corner of his eye. His tail slaps once, twice against Fabian’s side, and Fabian drops his arm onto The Ball’s back in response, quelling the detective’s squirming. The Ball leans harder into his side and mutters to himself.

“What?” Fabian asks, defensive and not really understanding why.

“You know you could’ve just asked to sit down,” Riz says. What he means is, what the fuck, Fabian?

“Can we just watch the movie in peace, please?” Fabian replies. What he means is, please don’t call attention to this.

Riz shuts up. They watch the movie in peace.

Fabian catches Aelwyn looking at him that night, a strange gleam in her eye; it’s the one she gets when she’s mastered an overly complicated piece of magic that’s been elusive for a long time. Fabian shifts, but doesn’t let go of Riz, who is tucked even more tightly into his side as the night wears on, his head on Fabian’s chest and the sheet tangled up between them.

He shakes it off; there’s nothing here for Aelwyn to understand.

Nothing.

~

After that, it’s just an easy way of keeping track of Riz. The rogue has such high sleight of hand and stealth; he’s really a menace to society. Fabian is doing the authorities a favor, honestly. It also helps him get used to how to whip the sheet in a non-lethal capacity, teaches him how hard to snap the fabric around someone’s ankle to send them careening back to their spot on the couch, or how to flick it around their waist to pull them back to his side without leaving bruises. He even gets good enough to snag Riz’s tail and yank him back from the curb when he went to step into the road without looking up from his clues, which is probably the coolest thing Fabian does that week.

Riz complains and pouts and never tells him directly to stop, which he would if it were a real issue. But since he is a gentleman first Fabian asks, just to make sure.

“I don’t--really mind, actually,” Riz says haltingly. The tips of his ears are slowly turning turquoise. Fabian is extremely interested in this development. For science, of course. “It’s nice, knowing--uh, knowing you’re there to, like, catch me. If I fall. Or something. And the elemental keeps the sheet really warm, so. It’s nice. I don’t mind.”

Fabian grins, and something strange and pleasant settles in his chest.

~

The first time he really has to confront the idea that maybe it’s not just Fabian being paranoid about the amount of time he spends wrapping Riz in a sheet is when Aelwyn breaks up with him. It’s been coming for a long time, so obvious it’s like staring down an oncoming train. Aelwyn is trying to be kinder now, has been working on being gentler with people, and so of course she comes to their meeting at the ice cream shop with a delicately worded bullet point list on why they can’t be together anymore.

“And really, we did both acknowledge exactly how unhealthy for each other we are when we got into this,” she finishes, looking up at him over the rims of her new catlike glasses. She and Adaine match now. “I mean, I very explicitly stated how bad an idea this was and you agreed.”

“Yeah,” Fabian says, because he did. It still doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

“Honestly Fabian, sometimes I--I wonder why you even said yes in the first place. It’s not like you don’t have another, probably better, option hanging around all the time.”

He has no fucking idea what that’s supposed to mean. “I have no fucking idea what that’s supposed to mean.”

Aelwyn looks at him, shrewd and calculating, and then sighs. “Men. You’re all so useless.”

“Hey,” Fabian says, halfhearted. She just broke up with him; it’d be nice of her to display a little consideration.

Her mouth presses into a thin line, and even though he knows she’s not happy about this either, Fabian gets the distinct feeling she’s laughing at him. Just a little. “How come you never wrap me in your sheet?”

“Wh-what?”

“You always wrap Riz in your battle sheet. Constantly. I’ve counted three times this week, Fabian, and it’s only Thursday. How come you never wrap me in your precious battle sheet? I was your girlfriend up until this moment, wasn’t I?”

“I have no idea what The Ball has to do with you breaking up with me,” Fabian tells her honestly.

“Everything, my dear.” Aelwyn says as she stands and tosses a five dollar bill on their table in Basrar’s. “Absolutely everything. Think about it.”

~

The Ball has nothing to do with this.

“You have nothing to do with this.” Fabian tells him when Riz rushes into his room in Seacaster Manor, armed with dvds and ice cream and a grim expression Fabian recognizes from the moment before he ate Kalvaxus’s face off.

“Well if you didn’t want me here why did you call me?” Riz asks, looking affronted. He takes a step towards the door but wavers, looking back and forth between the hallway beyond and Fabian’s teary, red face. “Look, I wanna help, but if you need some time alone--”

“No! That’s not what I meant.” Fabian flaps one arm at him frantically. “I just-- it’s just stupid, never mind, just get over here, The Ball.”

Riz dumps the items in his arms and bounds over, sympathy leaking over his expression. He stops by the foot of the bed which is too far away and Fabian would roll his eyes and whip the sheet out for him if he weren’t already wrapped up in it and trying not to look like he’s been crying for the past hour and a half. He has not. He has only been crying for an hour and twenty minutes, thank you very much.

“I’m really sorry, Fabian,” Riz says, soft and kind and what Fabian needs to hear and what he wants none of at the same time. “I know you really like Aelwyn.”

Something in The Ball’s expression shifts, a little, drops down and gets even more serious and Fabian feels that instinctive, commonplace need to know more about him. Fabian fails an insight roll though, and shakes his head. He reaches out again. “Just, just come here, The Ball, gods--”

“I’m standing right next to you--” is all The Ball can get out before he lets out a high little yelp and gets lifted into the air. He’s so light Fabian can manhandle him onto the mattress and into the sheet with one arm. Fabian wonders if he’s getting enough to eat, if he’s spiraling in his office too much, if he hasn’t been sleeping lately. After the Night Yorb incident, he and The Ball had slept in the same bed on and off, on the promise to wake each other up when they had nightmares. It was a terrible few weeks.

The only thing Fabian misses, he admits to himself as he sets The Ball down on the mattress next to him and drapes half of the sheet across his shoulders, is the warmth he woke up to every morning. Riz is a familiar, reassuring weight against Fabian’s side; he didn’t realize after the nightmares went away and The Ball started sleeping over on the weekends rather than every night how much he would miss this.

Riz is, as always, game once he realizes what the plan is. He curls up under the sheet with a familiarity that makes the pressure in Fabian’s cracked chest ease just a little. He wraps his arms around Fabian’s middle and his tail flicks up to curl loosely around Fabian’s wrist where his arm is hooked around The Ball’s shoulders. The sheet is soft as cream and silvery in the low light as it folds around them both; it is on autopilot that Fabian takes the edges of the sheet and tucks them around his friend, until they are nothing more than a weirdly shaped lump of fabric.

“I’m supposed to comfort you right now, not the other way around,” The Ball points out, humor coloring his tone even as he keeps his voice low. Fabian leans harder against him and Riz grunts.

“You are,” Fabian says. “You are.”

He’s not okay, but he will be.

~

Fabian gets over Aelwyn relatively quickly, which should probably be a sign of how serious he actually was about her. But there’s still something strange in not looking forward to meeting her now, after a year of striving to get information on her, a year of striving to get her out of prison, a year of striving to come off as anything besides an awkward teenage boy when she kisses him. It leaves Fabian at a bit of a loose end.

So, naturally, he makes it The Ball’s problem. Or not-problem. It’s more like a solution. He is the solution to The Ball’s depressing self-care mystery. The Ball, it is unsurprising to note, is terrible at taking care of himself. Fabian, on the other hand, has literally trained all his life to protect and fight for others; he’s gotten very good at turning this innate urge into making sure The Ball eats enough and sleeps enough and takes a goddamn break every once in a while.

Case in point.

“Come on, The Ball,” Fabian whines. “This place is honestly so depressing, you reek, and I know for a fact you haven’t slept in three days. It is time to go home.”

“My mom asked me to help her, Fabian,” Riz says. He doesn’t turn to look at Fabian when he speaks, nimble fingers spidering across a map of Elmville he has set up on the wall. There are strings of different colors connecting seemingly random locations together, but Fabian does not doubt they make sense to The Ball. It must be a serious case, anyway; The Ball only loses his hat and tie when it’s serious business. “I can’t give up now.”

“It’s not giving up. Why do you always have to assume that stopping for a little while makes everything worse?”

“Sure feels like it.”

Okay. Time to pull out the big guns. Fabian takes a deep breath and prays Riz won’t hate him for this tomorrow. “Your mom is worried about you. Again.”

Riz’s head jerks around sharply enough that Fabian winces. There’s a sharp crack and Fabian watches as the ink from the broken pen in Riz’s clawed hand drips to the hardwood. Ah, well. That’s the least horrible thing that’s stained this floor. When the detective turns to him Fabian takes a hasty step back. The slits of his eyes dilate wildly, shrinking and growing in size rapidly.

“Did you,” Riz asks deliberately slowly, “just try to use my mom against me?”

“It’s true,” Fabian protests weakly. “She sent me here when I asked where you were. She thought you were with me anyway and she got really mad when she figured out you were still working. You gotta learn to take breaks, man.”

Just like that, Riz deflates. His shoulders relax from where they’ve been hunched around his ears since Fabian walked in and his hackles lower. He scrubs a hand through his hair, leaving trails of blue ink through the strands; Fig would probably call it a look . “I hate when I make her worry.”

“You make everyone worry,” Fabian says without thinking, before backpedaling like a champ at Riz’s scandalized look. “Wait! No! I didn’t--it’s just that you make her-- and me-- but you don’t mean to so it’s fine. Is it hot in here? I feel like it’s hot in here. We should go. Let’s go.”

“You worry about me?”

It’s the quiet way The Ball says it, quiet in the way he hasn’t heard often since the Nightmare King’s Forest, that makes Fabian square his shoulders and set his jaw in determination. He rolls initiative on a surprise round and succeeds. Nat twenty.

“Right.” Fabian declares, and reaches into his jacket. “We’re doing this.”

“What?” Riz’s eyes widen a second later, though, because his insight is crazy high and even his passive rolls are ridiculous. “Aw, no, Fabian, you don’t need to get the sheet out. I don’t need the sheet!”

“It’s too late. It’s already over.”

“Oh come on man, I didn’t mean it like that!”

“It's inescapable,” Fabian flourishes as the sheet unwinds and dances before him, obscuring The Ball’s view of him. “You’ve brought this on yourself.”

Between one blink and the next, Fabian has thrown the sheet about his best friend, movements fluid and expert from so much practice. He’s sure to leave Riz’s inky hand free, but he takes care to bundle his legs into the sheet. Fabian wraps one end of the sheet around the unoccupied arm before pulling it across his body gently and tucks the other end over his chest in the opposite direction before securing the free edge between Riz’s back and his own chest.

Riz is still so light in his arms as Fabian hoists him right off the ground and into a princess carry. Riz squawks and waves his one free hand in Fabian’s face, which makes Fabian grimace and lean back. Ink splatter across the desk.

“Spring break,” Fabian says. He meets Riz’s dark eyes, something in his gut sparking and fluttering and warming him all the way to his toes. “I believe in you.”

“Spring break, I believe in you,” Riz repeats, laughing and accepting the bardic inspiration before rolling his eyes. “It’s nearly winter, you dolt.” It makes something soft in Fabian curl up tight in his chest to hear his best friend laugh, to feel it reverberate in his own arms, in his own bones, and Fabian grins right back.

“The sentiment still stands. Just because you mess up every now and then doesn’t mean that you’re a bad son, The Ball. You’re just so passionate and conscientious and you want to make sure you do your work right the first time so no one gets hurt on your watch. That’s a noble thing to do. Your mom and me worrying about your well-being doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person; it’s just a sign of how much we love you.”

Fabian takes the stairs down to the parking lot as he speaks, focusing more on his feet than Riz’s face, because if he does focus on Riz and his wide eyes and the way his pupils are really fucking dilated right now and how his dumb hair is slicked back with ink and the way his ears are twitching and how he smells like coffee beans and old newspapers, the something in his gut will come up to his chest and constrict around his heart and then he’ll do something really stupid like lean in and--

Nope! Not dealing! Fabian gets his kisses in-- got his kisses in--enough already. No need to deal with all-- this.  

But then Fabian finishes his speech and The Ball makes a strange squeaking noise, and his hand comes to ball up under his own chin, and his eyes are still very wide and his face is so soft and he’s biting his lip, fuck.

Fabian’s hands are sweaty and he nearly fumbles his handful as he comes down hard off the last step, rolling a natural two on his athletics. He curses.

Sire! Are you alright? I will destroy the very stones which mock your footing until they are nothing but dust!

I’m fine, Hangman. Just tripped.

Shall we be escorting The Ball home, then?

“You can let me down now,” Riz says at that exact moment, just as Fabian goes to confirm with his bike. Whatever his expression meant before, the jolt seems to have knocked some sense into him before Fabian could roll insight, and the goblin shifts in his arms. Fabian tightens his grip reflexively, and Riz settles. “You don’t have to take me home.”

“Don’t have to?” Fabian repeats dumbly. Of course he has to! The Ball is his--his--The Ball is capable and brilliant, yes, but he is small and a rogue and Fabian is a martial class. He should be here, to make sure that The Ball is safe.

What do you mean we’re not taking The Ball home? The Hangman howls in the back of his mind. Fabian one hundred percent agrees with the bewildered sentiment.

“I have a bus pass now, I was going to take it home tonight anyway. You’re on the other side of town from me, so you'd just be going out of your way.”

Master! The Hangman exclaims, engines revving. The Ball must not stoop so low as to take the bus!

This is another development that Fabian didn’t really realize was happening until after the fact; The Hangman, for whatever reason, has gotten weirdly possessive of Riz. They’ve given more rides to the detective than the rest of the Bad Kids combined. The Hangvan has been the subject of more than a few arguments.

We are much more capable of protecting The Ball than this bus, Sire. With your battle sheet and my infernal soul, we will be an impenetrable defense!

Fabian isn’t sure what they’re defending Riz against, but he’s not going to disagree with The Hangman. They can protect Riz much better if he comes with them.

“The Hangman is right here, The Ball,” Fabian scoffs. “Don’t be silly. Just get on the bike.”

The Ball opens his mouth like he’s thinking of protesting but he’s also forgetting two very important facts: Fabian has eight points of Strength on him and has him wrapped in his battle sheet, effectively grappled. He hasn't got a chance unless he wants to take the fall damage from wrenching himself away from Fabian, which he would never do. Riz trusts Fabian.

A soft, golden glow starts up in Fabian’s chest at the thought. The Ball should trust Fabian. Fabian--Fabian wants to keep The Ball safe and warm and cared for, and like this, wrapped snugly in Fabian’s regard, The Ball is all of those things. It means a lot--so, so much--that The Ball trusts Fabian to provide this for him.

Okay, Fabian is getting off track again.

“You’re getting on the bike,” Fabian declares imperiously, and plops The Ball down on the seat before sliding on in front of him. He waits, The Hangman revving below them, until he feels The Ball curl up against his back. His arms worm their way around Fabian’s waist and his sharp chin digs into his shoulder; something in the half-elf loosens and expands and the warm glow gets brighter.

They’re silent on the drive home; he can feel Riz curl up tighter against the wind and the sheet flutters around the two of them. Sparks flicker across the fabric, retaining warmth against the night’s coming chill. Fabian purposefully drives slowly, lets the time tick by as Riz presses warm up against his back, safe and sound and wrapped in Fabian’s protection, with Fabian’s bardic inspiration flowing through him. He also purposefully does not consider why this is so very important to him.

It is only when they stop outside Riz’s apartment and he disembarks--The Hangman lets out a low rev of his engine, almost like a purr-- that they break the soft silence that’s descended.

“Back at my office,” Riz starts, faltering, as he hands the sheet back. “You said--you love me?”

Panic bursts like fireworks in Fabian’s chest. “Wh-uh?” He says. “Uh. Uh. You have ink in your hair.”

Then Fabian makes a tactical decision and runs the fuck away. It is not his best moment. (However, since Chungle-Down Bim isn’t there, it’s also not his worst.)

~

He is not avoiding The Ball. He is regrouping, coming up with a strategic return and possibly a retaliation for whatever weird, confusing, warm feelings Riz keeps setting fire to in his chest. This is strategy. This is war.

This, frankly, sucks. So much.

The Ball has called four times in the past week before giving up abruptly on Wednesday. It is Sunday afternoon. They usually spend Saturday night watching movies or going to Basrar’s together and then take Sunday to spar (for Fabian) and go over the latest town mystery (for Riz). They have done neither of these things; they also have not texted, spoken or passed each other on the street. Riz is supposed to come over for homework and hot chocolate on weekdays in the winter. He’s supposed to give The Ball rides home every day, to make sure he doesn’t have to walk home in the rain or snow. They’re supposed to be together--

And Fabian has no one to blame for their separation but himself. It twists his gut, seeing The Ball light up his phone so much before the calls stop and he’s left with nothing but unending silence. He can’t seem to stop trying to catch a glimpse of him in the halls at Aguefort, looking for a briefcase or a flat cap, anything, anything. But In the end, he’s the one avoiding The Ball. He’s the one not answering his phone.

He’s the one with weird feelings in his chest.

This cannot, Fabian realizes, possibly go on. He’s having trouble sleeping, and when he does he’s gone back to having nightmares about Riz falling during the Night Yorb debacle. He needs to sort this out, fast.

But Riz is a rogue and so his stealth rolls win out every damn time against Fabian’s perception, and  throughout the next week there’s no time between classes to catch him and he’s nowhere to be found at lunch.

Adaine doesn’t seem too happy with Fabian either, and hasn’t since this weekend. Riz must have said something to her about him, but she relents easily enough when she sees his frantic expression.

“He’s been skipping class to work on that case with his mom for a couple days,” she says. “He--doesn’t really want to see you that much, Fabian.”

It feels like his heart breaks at that, but Fabian smiles winningly anyway. “Who wouldn’t want to see me? I’m Fabian Aramais Seacaster.”

“Son of Bill Seacaster, yeah I know,” Adaine finishes, and at least she’s got that fond exasperation back. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, Fabian, but you’ve got to fix it. I can’t take Riz moping around much longer. He’s been insufferable.”

“Leave it to me,” Fabian says with more confidence than he’s feeling, and peels out of the parking lot with a roar from The Hangman.

He thinks maybe things are going to be okay, somehow; he’ll make a suitably dramatic entrance, and he’ll say all the right things to get Riz to forget that Fabian had some kind of crisis for a week and change and didn’t bother to let his best friend in on it and they’ll go back to Seacaster Manor and watch dumb B-movies and everything will be fine and Fabian won’t have to confront this weird thing growing perilously close to his heart.

And then he steps into Riz’s office and faces reality.

“What do you want?” Fabian winces at the flat tone of Riz’s voice, the way his eyes won’t meet Fabian’s, the way he’s crossed his arms over his chest and hunched in on himself.

“I--well--uh, that is--” Fabian pauses, breathes. “I just thought I’d check up on you, since last time I was here you were about to fall asleep on your feet. I heard you were working too late again.”

Riz’s mouth is a flat, thin line. “That’s what you want to talk about? My work habits?”

“Well--I--work-life balance is a very real, serious thing, The Ball. Not everyone can be as healthy and committed to self-care as I am. I thought I would help you out, like always.” This is the part where the movie hero would puff out his chest and the girl would fawn all over him and they’d live happily ever after. Fabian doesn’t really feel up to puffing out his chest when Riz’s eyes go hard and flinty like that.

“It didn’t really seem like you cared about my self-care when you were refusing to acknowledge you loved me.”

Oh. Oh.

And that’s just it, isn’t it? The last piece of the puzzle slots into place, and Fabian is absurdly glad Aelwyn isn’t here to cast Detect Thoughts and laugh at his misery as he realizes what she knew practically from the start. Because he’d said it before--toxic masculinity is over. He’s in touch with his emotions now, and he loves his friends and he’d had a hard time showing it or saying it in the beginning but these days his affirmations roll off his tongue like so much honey so why has he had such a hard time with The Ball?

Of course. Of course he loves Riz. It’s--it’s not even that much of a revelation somehow; it’s like he always knew somewhere deep in his soul that they’d end up like this, with Riz being brilliant and brave and kind and Fabian loving him and loving him and loving him. Admitting it to himself, for how hard it has been to see it clearly in the first place, is easy. It’s like saying the sky is blue or Arthur Aguefort is insane. It’s just a fact. Fabian Aramais Seacaster loves Riz Gukgak.

He’s in love with this strange little goblin man and he’s been so dumb about it.

“Okay, okay,” Fabian says, more to himself than The Ball. What happens now? What is he supposed to do? Should he just come out and say it? Or, no, Riz might think he’s joking, or trying to smooth things over. He'd hate it if Riz thought Fabian didn’t mean it the very first time Fabian says those words. Besides, they’re having an argument--a real one, which he doesn’t think they’ve ever had--and this is so not the time. No, he'll tell him after this is over, when they’ve made up and Fabian has taken care of Riz because he does really look like hell, all bags under his eyes and stiff limbs. He needs to apologize, probably, and then get The Ball somewhere safe and warm and comfortable and then he needs to do something grand and dramatic and then he can tell Riz Gukgak he’s in love with him.

“Look, I’m sorry, alright?” It comes out sharper than he intends, but he’s dealing with wave after wave of astonishment and fear and love and he could use a bit of a break, to be honest. “Can we just forget it?” He has to get this over with to get to the next step of his foolproof, ten second plan to woo The Ball in which nothing can possibly go wrong.

“Forget it?” Riz repeats, incredulous. This is not at all going the way Fabian needs it to go. “You want me to forget the time you took back saying you loved me--when you haven’t even called me your best friend, yet--and drove off and then didn’t talk to me for a week? That’s something you think can just be forgotten? You left Fabian!”

“The Ball--Riz--”

“I’m not just going to let this go, Fabian. No. But if you think that I’m just something to be so easily swept to the side and then picked up again when you feel like it, then--then--great! Great. I see clearly now where I stand with you.”

“Okay,” Fabian declares, because enough really is enough, “it’s sheet time.”

“No, Fabian!”

Riz has never raised his voice outside of crazy group antics before. Not to Fabian, at least. The sheet flutters out of his fingers as Fabian stares, open-mouthed. His chest is cracking again, like it did after Aelwyn broke up with him, but this is worse now; this crack is not just a hairline or a fissure, but a damn canyon. It feels like someone reached inside his ribcage and scooped his heart out.

Riz’s mouth twists and he hugs himself tighter, looking as miserable as Fabian feels. “I don’t want your goddamn sheet, okay? I don’t--I don’t need you to act like I’m some kind of burden or--or--”

“A burden--The Ball--”

“Or calling me The Ball all the time!” Riz’s voice rises again. His fists are clenched now. “I’m--I’m sick of you wrapping me up like a little kid. I’m not a baby, okay? I can take care of myself. I'm fine on my own.”

“Riz,” Fabian tries again, weakly. This can’t happen. Not now. Not to them.

“I think it’s best if you leave now,” Riz says grimly, and turns his back. He doesn’t look around when Fabian closes the door softly behind him.

~

“I’m sorry.”

Fabian blinks.

He and The Ball only had their fight two hours ago; he’d got on The Hangman and ignored the bike's probing questions, and gone home and cried and then he’d gotten up and done what he’d thought Riz would do in his place. He made a clue board.

First on the board is the picture of himself and Riz taken the night the Night Yorb was defeated; Fig had snapped a shot without them knowing, of the two of them talking in the firelight, Fabian craning his neck to look down at a swaddled, comfortable looking Riz who was looking up at him, mouth open seemingly in mid-sentence. His hair is in his face and Fabian always looks at it and remembers how seconds afterward he’d reached up and pushed the curls out of Riz’s eyes gently. That was the end of the summer--it’s the middle of winter now. He’s been in love with his best friend at least since then, maybe before.

Next on the board is his half of the best friend necklace; he’d actually stolen it out of Riz’s briefcase on their way to fight the Nightmare King. It was after Fallinel, when he was getting back to himself, reinventing how he saw the world. He’d wanted to know--to have something, just a small thing, that reminded Fabian who really loved him. And Riz had been there.

So. Maybe he was a little in love with Riz back then, too.

The third clue was actually absent from the board, but Fabian writes it on a post-it note and sticks that there in its place; my old letter jacket. He’d gotten a new one when he’d been on the team in the beginning of sophomore year; he’d filled out too much, built up enough muscle from practice that he hadn’t been able to keep using the one his father gave him freshman year. He’d given it to The Ball because he was complaining of the cold one day and then just. Never bothered to take it back.

Riz wears it to his games sometimes. It makes Fabian--feel. Certain things. It’s fine.

The final clue is, of course, the sheet. He almost doesn’t bother pinning that one up either, since it’s pretty fucking obvious. Aelwyn could see it all just from the way he wrapped Riz up in his sheet, after all; he really doesn't need to rest of his clues to figure this out. But there’s something soothing in this, in looking at the world the way he knows Riz looks at it.

He’s just working himself up to maybe crying again when Cathilda knocks on his door and lets Riz quietly into the room.

“What?” Fabian says, because what?

Riz is biting his lip, which is entirely too distracting, when he speaks again. “I was--unfair. And a dick. And I've been--going through some stuff and I put all that on you, and I’m sorry, man. You didn’t deserve that.”

“No, I--I mean, I’m sorry too. I mean--you don’t need to be sorry, because I should be sorry. I just left you hanging and then spaced on you and I didn’t even tell you why, I just wanted to go back to normal. So I’m the one who’s sorry and you can’t take that from me. I’ll fight you if you try, just so you know. Stop being sorry.”

And just like that, the corners of Riz’s mouth turn up which is a relief because Fabian love him and just figured out that he’s maybe been in love with him for over a year, but he also knows that even before he knew he was in love he’d have done just about anything to make sure Riz never looked as sad as he does right now. He’d kill to put a smile on Riz’s face.

“I don’t think you can just have a monopoly on apologizing, Fabian,” Riz says and the way his name sounds out of The Ball’s mouth, gods, how did Fabian not realize this sooner? “I’ve just been--I’ve been dealing with a lot and you’re my best friend, man, and I just...It sucks not talking to you.”

“Yeah,” Fabian agrees. “It really fucking does.”

And then, opening his arms tentatively, “Can I?”

Riz’s face twists horribly then, and Fabian’s heart has just enough time to sink to his stomach before Riz throws himself into Fabian’s arms. Fabian holds him and holds him and doesn’t ever want to let go now, he’s got Riz and he’s pressing his face into Riz’s hair and lifting him up and holding him close to his chest and Riz is wrapping his arms around Fabian’s shoulders, claws scratching at the back of Fabian’s neck, he’s whispering into that twitching ear, “I’ve got you, I’ve got you, I’ve got you, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” and he loves and loves and loves and he doesn’t know if it’s supposed to hurt so sweetly but it does.

“I’m sorry, gods, I’m sorry,” Riz babbles into his shoulder and Fabian wants to tell him to stop but he’d have to interrupt to do that and he can’t, not when he knows Riz has such a hard time with the idea that his friends don’t listen to him. He folds at the knees instead, takes Riz with him to the ground and cradles him like something precious because that’s what The Ball is and has always been, precious and so important and, if he has his way, Fabian’s. “I’m sorry I acted like you didn’t care, I know you do, I just don’t want to ever make you feel like you have to do everything for me, like I’m weak or less than or like I don't get that you have other things, other people to take care of--”

And then Fabian does interrupt because like hell is he letting this slide. “Stop it, stop, I know you’re strong and you’re brave and you’re so smart, Riz, gods, you’re brilliant. I just-- I wanna take care of you, I know I don’t have to but I want to, I love to, I love you, I'm in love with you and I want to take care of you, please.”

It’s only when Riz rears his head back that Fabian realizes what just came tumbling out of his mouth.

“Oh, shit. Uh--I wasn’t supposed to say that yet.”

“Yet?” Riz squeaks and fuck it, Fabian decides. Fuck it all. In for a penny, in for a dime.

“Yeah, yet,” Fabian rushes. His fingers clench and release the fabric over Riz’s spine rhythmically and he can feel the goblin shivering against his chest and without thinking Fabian pulls down his sheet and wraps them both in it. Riz’s skin stands out dark and forest green against the silvery material and he hopes he likes it, hopes it is soft and warm against the thin, fragile surface of Riz’s cheek because Riz is so good and Fabian loves him and he deserves nice things. “I--I was gonna make a plan and strategize and not tell you until I’ve done at least three heroic deeds in your name, dude. I had so many ideas.”

“Ideas?” Riz’s voice is faint.

Fabian nods solemnly. “There were also schematics for a dramatic duel on the clifftops, but we’ve already done that a couple times, so I scrapped it.”

“Too much of a Nightmare King-Night Yorb repeat.”

“Yeah,” Fabian nods. “Exactly. So uh. Just. If you could pretend I haven’t said that yet, I can get on the heroic deeds and we can revisit this. Conversation. Uh, later.”

“Right,” Riz says, nodding slowly too. “Or we could, like, do it right now. Since I'm in love with you too and everything.”

Fabian’s brain stops working.

“Oh.”

“'Oh?' That’s it?”

“I, uh, didn’t plan for this.”

“You didn’t plan for me maybe liking you back? Dude, everybody knows already.”

Fabian draws further away at that, blinking wildly. (His hands stay on Riz’s hip and back because he’s got him now, he’s got him, Riz is in his home and his arms and his heart and wrapped in Fabian’s protection and he’s never leaving if Fabian has anything to say about it.) “Everyone?”

Riz scuffs the back of his neck and his ears are turning turquoise again. “Uh, yeah, man. Adaine told me if I complain about how much I like your eyes to her one more time she’s gonna get Fig to hex me. I um, I thought maybe you were doing the whole sheet thing to, like, let me down easy. Make me see you didn’t think of me as more than like, a kid or someone who needs your help or something.”

“Oh my gods. That is so dumb,” Fabian blurts, because what the fuck, The Ball, seriously. “That is so dumb The Ball. You’re so dumb.”

“Gee, thanks. I really feel like you love me right now, just so you know. Just overwhelming amounts of love pouring out right now.”

“Oh shut up.” Fabian says, laughing. “I wrap you in my sheet because I love you, The Ball. Like, more than I think I’ve ever liked anyone. It’s how Aelwyn knew we were over.”

“Huh?”

“She broke up with me and told me I never wrapped her in my sheet because I was always doing that to you.” Fabian explains, not even bothering to be embarrassed. “Because I've been in love with you for like, forever, man. She just realized it first because I always wanted to use the sheet on you and not my own girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Riz replies, sounding breathless. All things considered, Fabian’s going to take that as a good sign. He leans in now, presses his forehead to the crook of Riz’s neck, and breathes. Riz smells like newspaper and ink and old coffee and Fabian loves him so much. He tilts his head, nosing at the detective’s collar, and slides his lips over warm skin. He lets his teeth catch there, just a hint. “Oh.”

And then, before Fabian can even move, Riz’s hand is in his hair, tangled up in the strands, and he says, very fast, “By the way I’m demisexual, it’s on the asexuality spectrum and I was also being weird because I didn’t know how to deal with how attracted I am to you!”

“Okay,” Fabian says easily, drawing back. “Do you want to have a conversation about it? Because I don’t think I’m your guy for that, but we could go to the LGBT group meeting with Kristen next week and see if they have any resources. Jawbone could probably help too.”

Riz’s pupils are dilating slowly and his mouth hangs open before he snaps out of it. He looks less miserable now but still unsure and it’s not a good look on him. Fabian desperately wants to erase it. “That’s it? You’re not--you don’t think I’m weird?”

“Of course you’re weird, The Ball, but not for that. Besides, I think starting a relationship--we are starting a relationship, right--” Riz nods frantically, the beginnings of a grin forming, and Fabian pauses to lean in and press his mouth to the corner of Riz’s, “with the only problem being you don’t know what to do with all the insanely hot attraction you have for me is, like, the opposite of a hardship, dude.”

He stops then, considers, and then something terrible occurs to Fabian. He pulls even farther back and splays his fingers across Riz’s chest, feels his heart rabbiting there under his fingertips, and says quickly, “Not that I need you to have any kind of--any of that kind of attraction to me, Riz. I’d be okay, you know, with just this. Although you may have to tell me how hot I am from time to time. For, you know, moral support.”

Tension seems to drain out of Riz, has been since Fabian first started speaking, and this time it’s his turn to lean in and brush his lips across Fabian’s mouth. Fabian lets out a breath, takes in the scent of old newsprint and coffee and realizes he could die happy here. “You are, in fact, very hot, Fabian. And--thank you. For understanding. I might--I’m not super interested in sex, but. It’s a maybe. If you’d like it to be, for the future.”

“Of course I would, you’re incredibly attractive. But it’s not that big a deal,” Fabian says, and he picks them both up off the floor.

The sheet comes with them, sparks playing along the skin of his forearms but never burning him as he sets Riz down on the mattress because Riz is good and perfect and loves Fabian and deserves better than to sit on the floor. He doesn’t hesitate like he usually would now, and curls up around Riz, pulls the sheet over them both, encases them and pulls Riz close, closer, closest. “I love you. I’m probably not going to stop saying it now, just so you know. I’m going to be very annoying about it.”

Riz reaches up and brushes his claws lightly over Fabian’s brow and his smile is so soft something in Fabian melts. “It’s a good thing I love you then, or I’d never be able to put up with it.”

[infaethable]

so because of a one-off mention from a friend that riz has a notarized will, i got in in my head that like. riz writes letters to all the bad kids in the event of him dying. and then i made it fabriz because i have a one-track mind baby! here are some barely coherent discord messages that i cannot in good conscience call writing. trigger warning for PERCEIVED major character death ;)

sklonda leaves fabian's letter for last. the rest of the group is already opening theirs, and she hesitates on fabian's and says, "i'm a really good detective, and if what's in there, is what i think is in there... you might want to read that alone"

fabian is just stone cold and he hasn't shown a single expression on his face since the news really settled in, and he stalls for a second before running his thumb under the seam of the letter, gets a paper cut he can’t even really feel, and reads the last words riz will ever say to him.

and it takes all of a minute for it to break him. 

fabian doesn’t that know he's in love with riz until he sees the words "i think that telling you i'm in love with you after i'm gone would be the most cowardly and cruel thing i would ever do, and for that sake, i hope you never see this." written in riz's neat but blocky handwriting. 

and then it all comes crashing over him.

all the stolen glances, all the midnight calls that riz picked up on the first ring, the electric few inches between their hands at the lunch table, the necklace tucked under his tank top, he should have known.

fabian’s crying so hard that it’s hard to breathe, and then he actually stops being able to breathe. he feels his heart pounding in his chest and a phantom weight atop it, and adaine kneels in front of him, grabs his hands, says something but he can’t hear it over the beat of his own eardrums. 

fabian thinks he might be having a panic attack. 

adaine, who spent the last three days sobbing in bed till she thought she had no more tears left, has tears running down her face again now as she’s trying to guide fabian through it, in for four, hold, out for four, again-

and she’s looking at the look on fabian’s face, and she knows.

she's never been particularly good at reading people before. but she's seen what riz looks- looked. like when fabian did something that broke his heart just a little bit, and fabian is drowning in it.

adaine doesn't even know what riz wrote in the letter. but riz told her once that he'd rather die than tell fabian, and he was wrong. he is- was, fuck, her brother, in all but law and blood, but she's looking at fabian, fabian who's on his fucking knees in grief like she's never seen him before, even when he plunged his birthright sword through his father's chest, this is different, that was fabian grieving and this is fabian broken and her brother god rest his fucking soul was wrong.

adaine abernant knows a thousand things about riz gukgak. she knows he secretly hates unsweetened coffee, she knows his favorite record, she knows his tells when he's trying to cheat at blackjack, she knows he loves his friends like a holy vow, like a vengeance left of violent, she knows the password to his phone and his blood type and what he looks like when he's mad, and if she knows anything she knows that he loved fabian with every drop of blood he's ever spilled and every corner of his heart and whatever soul left after his body's gone cold, and if he won't tell him, then she will.

and so when fabian's heart rate is on the right side of resting, and he's crying into her shoulder she says, quiet, near his ear, so that he’s the only one who hears,

"he loved you back, i should have told him to tell you, i should have pushed harder-" and fabian burrows more into her shoulder and cries like she’s never seen him cry before. 

gorgug and fig and kristen are all watching, and fabian wants to break things, he wants to scream till his voice blows out, he wants to burn the world to the fucking ground, and most of all he wants to see riz one last time. he wants to put his hands on riz's waist and tell him he loves him till he believes it. 

and fabian balls his fists on adaine's back and says, "i should have known, i should've fucking known-" and gorgug falls to his knees beside fabian and wraps him in a hug, and fig and kristen do the same, and the fact that fabian aramais seacaster is in love with riz gukgak went from a secret no one, not even fabian himself, knew, to an open fact in under five minutes.

and fabian, for all his bravado, has never been a man with a large amount of rage. this isn’t to say he’s never been angry, but there's a special kind of rage, one tracker whispers in the dark at sleepovers about like a ghost story, one that's laced into his father's conquests. the kind of rage that makes you want to claw at anything you can get your dirty hands on and damn the consequences. one that curls in fabian's gut now, not at riz, never at riz, but at whatever god that allowed this to happen.

there are a lot of gods, he knows. gods of rage and bloodshed, gods of nature, and storms, and the sea. 

there are gods of love. he hates them most of all.

and his birthright sword, leaning on the wall behind him, starting from the golden basket hilt turning red hot, seems to burn to the beat of his heart.

and against all senses, he reaches, and the design of the hilt brands his palm with lines, crisscrossing across his palms. he barely feels it. 

(somewhere far away, he knows riz had scars like that. light green lines from his time in the palimpsest, where glass had shattered and imbedded itself. had stayed there too long without a magical heal to fade.)

and the brands fade from red hot and sizzling to oil black. it enters his bloodstream, spreads up his veins, and fabian can feel when it envelops his senses because he can smell fire and brimstone and salt and gunpowder-

and fig, in an instant, widens her eyes and tries to knock the sword out of his hands, but fabian holds tight, fabian’s vision unfocuses and refocuses on a liminal black void, looks up and sees fire rolling across the sky, hears a familiar voice in the back of his mind,

"darling boy, what could possibly have you so broken up that i felt your rage nine hells down?"

and fabian feels a connection in his mind just left of the hangman, and says, not out loud, 

"if you'll forgive me for the tone, only realizing you're in love with someone after they've died would perhaps have that effect papa."

distantly, adaine is trying to shake his shoulders out of whatever state he's in. distantly, fig is pleading with him not to do it, that if he really wants it she can work a deal out with her dad. distantly, kristen is gearing up to cast a dispel evil and good, and distantly, gorgug is asking adaine if he should hit fabian in the head with his ax, but right now his papa just takes a sharp intake of breath through the modified message and says, 

"oh my darling boy. i'm so sorry. would you like some powers about it?" 

and fabian's gut curls, that rage, they didn't even have a fucking body to bury-

riz's letter is still clutched in his hands as he says, "yes."