#feels like something id want to talk about

[manic-quinn]

i once had to break up with someone while we were still in love. i was going through a rough patch and they needed more than i had to give. right person, wrong time

they tried to get back together with me on 3 separate occasions in the following month

the first time they sent me this long text about how

“we could work together so that it’s different this time. you didn’t let me help you with your issues and i never communicated mine. i just can’t shake the feeling that we made a mistake”

i missed them dearly and i almost went back…but they hadn’t changed and neither had i. as much as i wanted to pretend we could work on it, i knew that it would just be a matter of time before we broke up again. breaking their heart once almost killed me and i simply couldn’t risk doing it again. so i wrote a heartfelt paragraph to say

“i wish you the best and i want to make you happy, but it’s only been a week and nothings changed. im sorry but no”

it hurt, but it was necessary. i hope they understood where i was coming from. then a few days later, they texted me again and said

“we had something special” (and we did) “i take all the blame. you were always enough, all i need is you”

again, i thought about it for a moment…but the truth is that if they didn’t have needs then we wouldn’t have broken up. i knew i was just as much to blame as them. they just wanted the grief to go away and would say anything to make it happen. if we got back together, id let them down again so i wrote a few short sweet sentences telling them that

“you have a lot to offer and you’ll find someone else. ill always be rooting for you. im sorry, but no”

the third time they insisted on calling. i told them I wouldn’t change my mind, but they insisted things would be better if we could talk over the phone. for 45 minutes, they repeated everything they ever said. trying to find anything that would change my mind.

“ive never felt like this before”

i tried to be gentle with them but there are only so many ways you can say

“im sorry but no”

eventually they ran out of words. they apologized and said they’d leave me alone, but ill never forget what they said before we hung up

“i wish i could’ve written this off like you did”

they thought that I had just moved on and what we had meant nothing to me i didn’t know how to explain that every time i said

“im sorry, but no”

what i really meant was

“i love you enough to let you go”

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Sugar & Spicy Books Chapter 3

Summary:  Y/N is an accomplished writer who is newly divorced, and out of fear of the unknown, moves back to her small hometown she swore she’d never come back to.  She comes across her best friend that never left, who helps her out of a tough spot.  Will old feelings arise?  Or is she just too big for such a small place now?

Warnings:  language, smut

Previous chapter Next chapter

Y/N got into a routine with Bucky and Autumn.  On the days she picked up Autumn from school she would take her out and about to grocery shop on Mondays, accompany her to softball practice on Wednesdays, and every Friday was take out night.  She loved spending time with Autumn, and could see childhood Bucky in her whenever they would play, or in the way she smiled or laughed.  She also got to spend a lot of time with Winnie, which she was grateful for.  People around town recognized Y/N from way back when or from her books and would try to talk to her sometimes, but she always politely brushed them off whenever she was with Autumn, not wanting to be a spectacle.  Every night after they all got home, had dinner, and Autumn went to bed she and Bucky would talk for way too long, catching up and having in-depth, intellectual conversations that she missed.  She could feel that crush coming on full force as their friendship picked up right where it left off all those years ago.

Two weeks later they all came home one Friday with Bucky acting extra excited.  “Alright, Autumn!  You’re having a sleepover weekend at Grandma’s!” he announced.

“Yay!” Autumn cheered, running up to her room to gather a bag of her things.

“And you and I,” he said quietly, pointing at Y/N, “are going out.”

“Out?” Y/N smiled.  “Out where?”

“Boston,” he smirked.

“Boston?” Y/N scoffed.  “What the hell for?”

“To celebrate,” Bucky said.  “Go change into something nice but warm.  And pack an overnight bag.”

Y/N watched him walk up the stairs with wide eyes.  She quickly followed, changing into one of the nicer dresses she still owned, fixing up her hair and makeup and wearing sensible shoes, just in case.  She grabbed her fluffiest cardigan and a larger purse to carry her overnight things.  When she went back downstairs Autumn was jumping in place, holding her own bag and pillow as Bucky was fixing his hair in the mirror in the entryway.

“Daddy let’s go!” Autumn whined, then turned to Y/N and gasped dramatically.  “Y/N you look beautiful!”

Y/N smiled at her.  “Aw, thanks lovey,” she said, looking down at herself.  She looked up again at Bucky who was more dressed up than she had seen him since she came to town, looking dapper and cleaned up.  She whistled at him.  “Wow, Barnes, you really know how to clean up,” she smirked at him.

Bucky blushed at her compliment.  “Says the woman who came down looking like that,” he gestured to her.  “Looking good, Y/L/N.”

She hid her blush behind a laugh and reached out to squeeze his arm.  Autumn pulled on the sleeve of her cardigan and she quickly placated her.  “Alright, alright, let’s go.”

After dropping Autumn off the ride to Boston was two hours.  She and Bucky talked the whole way, reminiscing on old times and crazy things from their childhoods.  Bucky pulled up to a small hotel downtown, checked them in and dropped off their overnight things, then ordered an Uber.  The driver pulled up to The Bell in Hand Tavern.  “Oh Jesus, I remember this,” Y/N giggled.  “When Sam got us fake IDs and we drank way too much.  I had to haul your ass down the street before the cops came.  You were trying to kiss me the whole way.”

“I remember everything up until that point,” Bucky laughed.  “Then Steve drove us all the way home but missed the turn off and took us to Sugarbrush Farm.”

“Where you bathed in the smallest vat of maple syrup I’ve ever seen,” Y/N laughed as he helped her out of the car.  “You were sticky for weeks…Sugar.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and wound an arm around her shoulders.  He dipped his head down to her ear.  “You think you’re teasing me, but I like it when you call me Sugar,” he said.

“Oh really?” Y/N scoffed, looking at him.  Bucky arched an eyebrow at her as he steered her to the main front bar and flagged down the bartender.  “Hi, I’ll have a Jameson Black Barrel.  And she’ll have a,” he eyed her, “Nantucket Lemonade?”

“Ugh, yes,” Y/N moaned, her eyes rolling back.  “I haven’t had that in ages.”

Bucky’s eyes widened at her expression but he quickly looked back at the bartender.  “That’ll be it,” he nodded.  

When their drinks were ready he took her over to a small table by the window and they sat.  “So, what are we celebrating?” Y/N asked.

Bucky held up his glass.  “Cheers to your divorce.”

Y/N laughed loudly and clinked her glass against his.  “Cheers!” she said, drinking the cocktail.  “Fuck that’s good.”

They ate and drank the night away, laughing and talking too loud as they got more tipsy.  They didn’t notice people leaving until the bartender yelled out, “Last call!”

“Oh shit,” Bucky giggled and took out his phone.  “We gotta go, honey.”

“Aw,” Y/N whined.  “But I’m hungry!”

“We’ll find something to eat on the way back,” he smiled as he stood and helped her get up.  She leaned on him heavily as he paid the tab and then ordered another Uber.  

“How are you still standing and I’m struggling?” Y/N asked, gripping his arm tight.

“‘Cause I had two whiskeys and drank water, and you had…four cocktails?” Bucky chuckled.  

“Ugh,” Y/N groaned as he helped her into the Uber.  They convinced the Uber driver to stop by a fast food place to grab food before going to the hotel, inhaling the burgers and fries while they stumbled in and eventually found their room.

Bucky fumbled with the key card, dropping it twice while Y/N fought back fits of giggles.  When he finally opened the door they both fell inside, laughing maniacally as they sprawled out on the floor and the door shut loudly.  “Ssshhh!!” Bucky shushed her, bringing a finger to her lips.  “It’s late!”

Y/N playfully nipped at his finger, making him gasp.  “Gotcha,” she teased, before rolling over and crawling toward the bed.  Bucky crawled after her, and as she started to climb the bed he slapped her ass.  “Buck!” Y/N gasped, looking back at him.

“What?  It’s not my fault you have a great ass,” Bucky smirked.  

“Oh no, are you gonna try to have your way with me like last time?” Y/N laughed, lifting herself up onto the bed and laying flat on it.

“How dare you!  I would never take advantage of such a refined lady!” he said in a horrible British accent.  He flopped onto the bed next to her.  “Though I can assure you…you’d love it,” he winked.

“So sure of yourself,” Y/N giggled.  Her head was feeling fuzzy, the filter fully gone as she turned to face him.  He leaned on his elbows, making it so he was slightly hovering above her at the angle she put herself in.  Y/N stared at him for a moment before her hand reached up and her finger traced his lips.  “You’re a good kisser, did you know that?” she asked.

“What?” Bucky scoffed.  

“The night before I left,” Y/N frowned.  “You kissed me, remember?”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded, blinking rapidly.  

Her thumb ran along his bottom lip, slightly pulling it down before she dropped her hand between them.  “Softest, prettiest lips,” she whispered, then closed her eyes.  “Felt like my heart was…flying that night,” she breathed.  

“Really?” Bucky’s voice sounded closer.

“Mhm,” Y/N nodded, her eyes still closed.  “Been dreaming about it ever since.”

She felt Bucky’s nose nuzzle her nose, his breath fanning her cheek.  “I liked kissing you,” he breathed.

Y/N opened her eyes, looking up to see him staring at her with a soft look in his eyes.  “Really?” she asked.  

“Been dreaming about it ever since,” he repeated her words with a smirk.

Y/N sobered up as she processed his words and the position they were in, this moment that hung precariously in the balance between friendship and something more.  She had the sudden realization that she had loved this man since she was a child, but it had just never been their time.  He had only entered her life again recently, and as different and separate as their lives had been, it was like no time had passed at all.  She wanted this.   This life, with him and Autumn, in the town that she had initially run away from.  

Bucky slowly leaned down, his gaze flickering to her lips.  “Can I…can I kiss you, honey?” he whispered, his lips ghosting over hers.

“Yes,” Y/N whispered.

He smiled, then kissed her.  Y/N sighed into the kiss, her entire body relaxing into the bed.  It was like all the stress, tension, uncertainty, how lost she felt and how big the world felt, it all disappeared and tunnel visioned into this moment.  All that mattered was that it was Bucky and he was kissing her…and it was perfect.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, her hand holding the back of his head to keep him close, scratching into his hair.  Bucky moaned at the scratch, pulling his body to completely hover over hers, his hips nestled between her legs.  Y/N got lost in his kisses, the euphoria of feeling his lips, his tongue, his teeth, his hands caressing her everywhere, his heaviness on top of her.  She didn’t realize when they’d gotten naked, but suddenly they were and she felt him everywhere she could reach.  The planes of muscles built up over time, the tuft of chest hair, his calloused fingers, and the pure pleasure at his cock rubbing between her lower lips.  

Bucky kissed down her neck, her chest, giving plenty of attention and care to her breasts, then down her stomach to her core.  He lifted her legs over his shoulders, gripping her thighs as he kissed over her clit, making her gasp and buck her hips, Bucky forcing her to stay put.  He made out with her pussy, kissing and licking it like it was the most delicious dessert he’d ever had.  Y/N’s head wrenched back as he sucked at her clit, then flicked it repeatedly with the tip of his tongue.  She was cumming in seconds, squirming in his hold as she whimpered above him.  Bucky licked and drank all she gave him.  When he helped her through the aftershocks of her orgasm he slowly pulled himself up and crawled back up to kiss her, his mouth and chin shining with her slick.  “And you call me Sugar,” he smiled as he bent down and kissed her again.

Y/N moaned at the taste of herself on his lips, her fingers scratching down his back.  “Buck please,” she breathed.  

Bucky nodded as his hand gripped his cock and slid it through her pussy again.  “I’ll take care of you, honey,” he said.  He aimed himself and started pushing forward.  Y/N slightly winced at the stretch, her hands gripping his biceps as he thrust into her.  When his hips were flush with hers he let out a grunt, his head leaning on her shoulder.  “Fuck, Y/N…you feel so fucking good.  Jesus,” he kissed her collarbone.  

“You’re amazing,” she replied.  “Please fuck me, Sugar.  Fuck me.  I can take it.”

Bucky huffed a laugh against her skin.  “I’m sure you could, honey.  And as much as I’d love to fuck you, right now I just wanna make love to you.”  He lifted his head to look at her.  “I just wanna feel you, nice and slow.  Is that okay?” he pleaded.  “I’ve wanted you for years, Y/N.  I’ve loved you for so long.”

Y/N could feel tears start to build in her eyes.  “I love you, Bucky,” she sniffled, cupping his face in her hands.  “I’ve always loved you.”

Bucky smiled wide then kissed her.  He started thrusting slowly, pulling keens and groans from her throat.  His cock felt perfect, like it was meant to be in her.  As much as she and Raf had had a mostly fulfilling sex life, it had never felt like this was him.  Bucky’s hips rolled and thrust randomly, the switch up making her eyes roll back every time.  He dug a hand under her neck, gripping her by the back of the head and the nape of the hair on her neck, forcing her head certain ways as he kissed her repeatedly.  He would nip at her jaw and her earlobe, before kissing his way back to her mouth, where the kisses would change from sweet, soft pecks to demanding, sloppy, and passionate.  She felt lightheaded at how he played her body like an instrument only he knew.

Her pussy fluttered around him, making him shudder above her, pulling away from another kiss as he gasped.  “Damn, you gonna cum for me, honey?  Cum all over my cock, huh?”  Y/N nodded like she was still drunk.  Bucky’s hips picked up the pace, his cock dragging in and out of her exquisitely.  He suddenly hauled himself up and held her against him so she was sitting in his lap, her arms and legs wrapped around him as he changed the angle and started thrusting up into her even deeper.  Y/N squealed, her nails digging into his back.  “You feel how deep I am, Y/N?  God, you’re perfect.  Most perfect pussy.  Better than I could have ever dreamed.”  He kissed her deeply again, his hand still holding her by the back of the neck and his other hand splayed on her back, holding her where he wanted her.  When he broke the kiss he leaned his forehead against her forehead and stared in her eyes.  “You’re my perfect dream, you know that?  Goddamn, I love you.”

“And you’re mine,” Y/N said, her breaths huffing against his face.  “Love you…love you, Sugar, Bucky, love you.”  She rattled on, feeling the build up in her belly.  “Mine,” she groaned.

“Yours,” Bucky nodded, his hand at her neck sliding down to her clit and flicking it with his thumb fast.  “Mine,” he nearly growled.

Y/N stiffened in his arms and came hard, shaking as it felt like lightning shooting through her veins and she cried out his name.  He buckled at how her pussy gripped his cock, falling back onto the bed with her, his hips rolling into her as he shuddered again and whimpered loudly in her ear as he came.  They held each other tightly as they calmed down, hot breaths fanning each other’s skin.  Bucky lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her.  His gaze made her heart leap with how soft and wondrous he looked.  “Did you mean it?” he asked quietly.

“What?” Y/N frowned.

“That you love me,” Bucky said, tracing her face with his fingers.

She smiled.  “I do.  I love you, Sugar.  I’ve loved you since we were kids.  I wish I would have realized it sooner.”

Bucky smiled.  “Been dreaming about me ever since?”

Y/N laughed and smacked his shoulder.  “Yes, you little shit.”

Bucky chuckled, but his eyes looked mischievous.  “Did you think of me when you were fucking your husband?”

Y/N scoffed incredulously.  “Okay, first of all, ex-husband, and secondly, you cheeky bastard!” 

“Answer the question, honey,” Bucky said, dipping his head back down into the crook of her neck, nipping at her skin.  His hold on her tightened again, and his hips rocked into her, pulling a gasp from her lips at how he was getting hard inside her again.  

“Sometimes,” she replied breathily.  

He hummed in her ear.  “I’m gonna take real good care of you, honey.  All that sexy stuff in your books?  God, you got me feeling horny for years from your stories.  Now I’m gonna take my time and show you what it can really be like.  You want to show me how well you can take it now?”

Y/N groaned.  “Holy shit…yes!” she cried out.

Bucky chuckled darkly.  “Good girl…”

[pureh9neyy]

୨୧٭˚ sooooo i shifted to a dr from.. 5th grade..? + things i manifested??

ok soo i accidentally shifted to an mha(?) universe trying to get to the void- i was a tad bit bored before i went to work, and i was like “okay let me go to the void bc why not”.. this is the first time i tried to go to the void without a subliminal.. i usually always go with a subliminal, i also tried the distraction method cause i wanted to try something new.. i counted from 12-1, 13-1. affirmed “i always shift and get into the void in seconds”, “it’s crazy how i always shift on command” and i dreamed of a scenario. MIND YOU, the scenario i was distracting myself with was how i meet tloml.. (in school) i was talking to a boy, then i felt a familiar feeling of just walking through halls.. like my body just went somewhere else.. i walked into a pe room, unfamiliar with it. these gyms were four times bigger then my schools. when i walked in, i could feel my hair suddenly get longer and straighter.. and cyan. I walked in further and suddenly noticed a paper on the ground, it was the school name, an all black school that harnessed students with quirks..

soooo im looking at the papers a bit confused, my first thought wasnt “why tf am i in a school and not the fucking void like i wanted to be”, but it was rather “why am i here.. and why is my hair blue and straight..” then i thought about it and it all makes since.

sooooo i use to be a gacha kid in from 4th-6th grade and i was obsessed with mha in 5th grade and id always combine the two, gave myself ice manipulation.. star eyes? other unrealistic shit i cant rmb.. but thats besides the point.

i noticed i had powers when two people i was unfamiliar with came up to me asking me why my hair was blue and laughing and stuff.. i told them “i don’t know and to mind theirs” because why are you guys coming up to me if its not compliments or trying to be friends like ew.

then they got offended and started using their quirks, it was a black girl and a gay boy. the girl had dark magic (which is op asf if used correctly not sure why i didn’t script myself to have it..) and the boy had a speaking quirk.

so you knoww i was using my ice powers or wtv, throwing daggers at them creating walls and stuff.. (use todoroki and sub zero and combine there powers and thats me.)

i eventually beat them by putting ice on their hands and mouths and i walked out of the pe. from a distance i could see a building on fire. not sure why… i went over and i guess i was trying to play hero or smth and stopping it. i was actually eating zown, putting the fire out.. saving people.. but then my mom called me and snapped me out of 4D-

when i got back to 3D.. my body and ESPECIALLY my arms were sore as THE FUCK. i took some ibuprofen and stretched and went on tiktok.. AND YALL.. ALLEGEDLY my influencer crush (ifykyk) is ALLEGEDLYYYY bisexual.. for a couple weeks i was fantasizing about him.. NOT IN A SEXUAL OR WEIRD WAY! just in a way like “omg we’d be so cute together and we’re the same age so that’d be cute.. i like his personality and stuff.” like it was just a bit like oh my gosh did i manifest him on accident or smth-

MORAL OF THE STORY: the distraction method works- 10/10 highly recommend if you have trouble focusing!

[martiae]

from me to you | pepe martí

“all of the girls you’ve loved before, made you the one i’ve fallen for” ♡ (inspired by to all the boys i’ve loved before!)

synopsis: you’ve been in love with your childhood best friend since you were 6. when you were 13, you decided to start writing love letters to him. you never planned on sending them but they somehow made their way to his house?

pairing: pepe marti x reader (y/n) adler | genre: highschool au, smau, fluff, slight angst | warnings: some cursing, suggestive jokes from christian (haha), gianna/gigi is an oc, y/n is kind of irritating because she assumes a lot !!

chapter 2 : the diner

now playing : breaking news — flowerovlove

you sighed before putting your phone down on the table, your anxiety rising as you realize what you’re doing at this place.

after gianna left you alone with pepe after school, you were able to steer both of your guys ways to this diner.

it gave you more time to plan your words, no, your sentences. you needed to make sure you didn’t say anything that you’ll regret. obviously pepe was mad, his face has told you a lot.

your thoughts were put on pause when you saw a strawberry milkshake be carefully placed in front of you. you glanced up and saw the small smile on his face. he carefully slid into the booth, facing you directly as he pulled his milkshake towards himself.

“um..” you let out.

his eyes dart towards yours, his eyebrows raising.

“thank you. i could’ve paid for myself” you thanked.

a small smile appeared on his face, his head softly shaking.

“you could’ve, but, i didn’t want you to” he said.

your stomach turned, your eyes lingering on his face as he sipped his milkshake.

it was true, all of what you wrote. you can’t remember everything but you still feel as if those things and feelings are true. they definitely still exist too.

“so..” he let out, his posture straightening as he put his elbows on the table.

his eyes had the certain sparkle to them, the very pretty one. he looked at you with an intense gaze, his face looking more neutral.

“after forcing me to get you a milkshake..will you finally speak?”

your mouth opened in surprise, a small smile appearing on your face.

“force?” you asked, a small chuckle coming out.

“i think i chose the right word. you said nothing but ‘follow me’ after i asked you if we could talk about it!” he replied with a smile.

well he wasn’t necessarily wrong. but you didn’t expect him to follow you, or pay for your food, or look at you with such an endearing expression.

“well..what do you want to talk about?” you coughed out guiltily.

a grin appeared on his face, his head tilting to stare at you more efficiently.

“were those letters real?”

“i’m not sure what letters you’re talking about. maybe if you considered telling me what they said id be able to respond effectively” you responded.

“you’re like a robot” he said with a laugh.

you shrugged your shoulders, biting your straw to try to not show your utter fear.

pepe’s face became slightly red, his eyes not meeting yours.

“what? what’d they say?” you asked with genuine concern.

you felt the embarrassment a mile away. if pepe was getting second hand embarrassment, you didn’t even want to know.

“nevermind! don’t say it! please i rather not hear it..” you interjected.

he finally looked at you, sensing you about to say more.

“look, i haven’t written a single letter since sophomore year. i don’t even want to know what it said but just know that it’s most likely really old! and not important or relevant anymore.” you explained with a loud sigh.

“it’s not relevant anymore?” he asked.

“yeah probably not. i totally forgot what i was talking about in those things” you said with a very fake chuckle.

“oh…” he let out, an unreadable expression on his face.

“so, don’t worry about it anymore!” you reassured.

“alright..” he said with a hint of uncertainty.

you knew it was wrong to lie. you knew that lying was something you didn’t really want to do; however, lying was the only realistic thing to do.

often times, the things we can’t say are the most important.

you wish you could say that you were in love with him. but, you couldn’t.

you know that you never could confess to him. confessing to him meant that you’d have to move on, and that was something that you knew would never happen. liking him in silence was the best option, and your original option.

you guys quickly began to catch up, his voice and laugh and attentiveness making your heart skip a beat.

it was nice: when things were like this. his laughter filling your ears, your conversation never ending, and the reason why you guys were here seemingly being unimportant.

“you didn’t have to walk me home” you told, a small smile appearing nevertheless.

pepe smiled back, “the sun is setting. what kind of guy would let a girl walk home alone?”

“a normal guy” you replied back.

“well i am not normal”

yeah. he isn’t a ‘normal’ guy. that’s why things between you two can never happen.

when you both reached your front porch, you turned to face him.

“your house still looks the same!” he exclaimed

you giggled, “of course. you know that my mom hates changing things”

pepe laughed, “yeah. you’re right about that one.”

“pepe! is that you?” a voice called.

“oh speaking of her!” you let out with an amused chuckle.

“oh! good evening tía!”

“pepe! oh wow look at you, you look so handsome!” your mom sang as she approached him.

“thank you..” he shyly nodded.

“come over for dinner someday, okay?” she said with a smile.

pepe nodded with a small smile, “i will”

your mom nodded with a pleased expression, slowly putting her hand on your shoulder.

“it’s cold out. let’s go inside now”

“alright!” you said.

“see you again tía! bye (name)” pepe waved.

your mom waved and you said goodbye, a warm smile appearing on your face.

“it’s been a while since i’ve seen pepe. it’s nice to see him. bring him over for dinner sometime” your mom commented.

“yeah, okay.” you agreed.

it has been a while. i guess it wouldn’t hurt to invite him over again.

[feketeribizli]

okay wait marci questions. how does he feel about media stuff? press, sponsored posts, the obligatory slash forced social media goofing etc. actually what's his social media presence like in general. also does he have pets..... did he grow up idolising anyone currently on the grid? how does he feel about racing his childhood heroes if yes? also, what's his favourite colour? capping it here but i want it known that he has eaten my brain 👍

hiii thank youuuu absolute bangers from you as always mwuah mwuah 😁🫶

nearly wrote a thousand words LMAO im putting a readmore somewhere to save yall... thank you for your time everyone 🫡

with all the live cockslip talk i thought itd be fun to delve into his social media presence for real... team and personal brand posting he doesnt mind per say, he got that goober in him that doesnt take oneself too seriously so hopping on silly trends hes almost looking forward to it. aston socials esp their tiktok is like my fave thing in the world lol id love to see him recreate the adam security & gf trend with padre

marci mostly uses instagram and its a mess... i barely follow any drivers but ive noticed they almost always got a certain aesthetic they try to keep up and well. marci dgaf. theyd try to put some color grading filter on the first photo in his dumps so at least theres some harmony to his page but its atrocious

he obviously has an official account on every other site but its usually for stuff his management posts on there (and an empty tiktok profile where his reposts are public. surely nothing weird or suspicious to see)

back to press and shit... hes not a fan 🧍‍♂️ he prefers the scripted stuff and when he can have like three takes to say something cause when its just him and twenty cameras broadcasting live... he still gets nervous and then the accent slips in and he stumbles his speeches and words things in a way people could twist what he said around easily (moment of silence and empathy for little lando norris). hes a small scale driver so the world doesnt hang on every word he says but yknow how it is

oh now im yapping like crazyyy... this part could get a whole new post but its kinda media related and ive been thinking and wanna talk about it a bit... if youve read this far kisses xx 😘

but yeah since im inserting marci into the canon events of real life theres bound to be loud media frenzy around his arrival especially since its aston. and in lances place (gotta work more on this but i was thinking lance has a kinda bad crash somewhere in the beginning of the 2024 season and my guy gets summoned out of thin air colapinto style to fill his place in until recovery but out of nowhere lance is like id like to temporarily step back lol 😋✌️ and the world explodes and marc is full time employed now)

and like idk how the hungarian public would react to a hun on the grid after twenty years (hes faggy so id care. otherwise idgaf about hungarian athletes for the most part) but that combined with the guy the world seems to hate a lot finally stepping down (NOT ME LANCE I LOVE YOU this is me trying to help this is me putting you in good situations) the commotion would be a major event with marcis name in the tabloids for a bit

all im trying to say is that his f1 entry would probably be very overwhelming and hes this shy guy no one has ever heard about before blabbering at stupid fucking press questions while glued to fernandos side. who is he whats his deal

ok lets put a hold on media for now 🧍‍♂️ as for pets... an old bernese back at home :-) marci kind of grew up with her (as much as he was at home. or the country even)... management posting ten-year-old marci at his first karting event with the puppy in his hands and then twenty-year-old marci after his first grand prix facetiming his family in the aston garages with the dog on the phone too... ack

about idols... his big thing is michael schumacher i know that for sure. marc generally looks up to everyone and has immense respect for most drivers. the more i think about it the more im like maybe bro got a thing for psychosexual warfare kinda drivers (schumi, vettel, alonso...) like yayyy to on and off track terrorism when its not aimed at me 😁

confession i kind of made him to deal with my conflicting feelings about aston martin as a whole lol and well. anyway he still shivers hot and bothered sometimes when fernando is around. gets a bit self conscious about it too but nothing that taking it up in the ass couldnt fix

fave color is greeeeen 😁 as i said match made in heaven with aston. team merch is glued to his body

WHEWH what an essay and i dont even know if im making sense lol ! marci is taking shape and becoming rock solid in my head im very happy about it 😋🫶 shoutout again to everyone intrigued i love cooking up the guy im having sooo much fun ‼️💥❣️

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[xxplastic-cubexx]

cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..

[shitty-proendo-blackout-posts]

endos are systems.

you are cool. YOU. ARE. A. SYSTEM.

#endo safe <3

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

[moeblob]

Ladd: but why would you kill me when I'm willing to kill for you?? Lass: omg you can't just say you'd kill someone, Ladd. that's murder and it's frowned upon.

(and then Ladd does kill for her but it's fine and part of the job)

[isa-ah]

met a really cool queer stranger today that i thought was just so fucking neat i wanted to talk but if we were playing tennis they were, with the most gentle and earnest voice ive ever heard, shoving the tennis racket down my throat. every compliment or joke i made was turned away but in the sweetest way possible that made me sound like an absolute asshole lunatic. it was so scary.

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

Daydreaming about making a v3 video essay

[st4rstudent]

i feel somewhat responsible for this, even if i’m not the one saying these things. I’m genuinely so sorry.

No need to apologize! It's not one singular person doing it and truth be told I don't think it's a large majority that thinks that (albeit the ones that do are quite vocal). I didn't mean to upset anyone or anything when complaining about it, I was just letting off some steam.

Having a yap session under the cut sorry I feel like rambling under your ask anon.

Admittedly, I do think there are reasonings for people thinking this way. A lot of the focus with Clash has been on the cogs, especially after the 1.3 update. Which I can't say I blame them! Managers were something new and exciting and (from what I can tell) really separated them from the other servers. I don't blame them for wanting to put focus on that because that was their thing. Alongside other things, but majorly when you hear Clash the managers are mentioned in someway shape or form. But as we all know, toons ended up taking the short stick from this. This isn't helped by the gameplay itself, being mainly a fetch-quest deal so you often only talk to npcs once or twice unless if they're repeated ones and the taskline wasn't entirely accessible on the wiki for a while (shoutout to the wiki maintainers. The taskline script is a savior). Which I'm quite excited to see if they deal with this issue with the rewrite. I imagine they will, but anyways. Social media posts would often contain more managers than toons, which I also believe they're starting to fix. And ontop of this, I believe most of the team in the early era of the sever is gone, so there's been some stuff lost in the change. So yeah, dialogue/writing has been kind of rocky. AGAIN- I am completely aware of the rewrite going on and I am not judging them harshly based off of their current state. I'm very appreciative of the fact that they took the time to listen and are focusing on trying to fix it up. And then there's also fandom mischaracterization- especially of the cogs. Forgive me for mentioning mischaracterization because normally I wouldn't really care (I've mischaracterized characters before..especially in my younger years. I think it's just a process of learning an having fun and I hate to limit anyone because of it). With that being said, there's a lot of baby-fying and coddling of the managers. Especially with those who have more 'sympathetic' stories (Misty, Chip, Winston specifically). Don't get me wrong, I like these characters and I can appreciate the story they're trying to tell, but I feel like so many people will hear their dialogue and then misplace their anger. People get mad at Bessie for trying to protect HER lighthouse or at the Elders for trying to keep YOTT safe (lets not forget Winston was there to brainwash toons). Yes, yes technically there would've been better ways to do it but consider this: The toons are scared. Their homes, stores, lives are being taken over by a big corporation that has more resources that they do. They don't have the privilege of waiting, seeing, and gathering. And then people forget that the company has such a huge role in both toons and cogs lives. If you're mad over the mistreatment of Misty or the fact that Winston is still in the dungeon, your anger should be directed at the company who doesn't care. I may be completely wrong in saying this, but I feel like the stories with almost all of the managers is a reflection of the company. The toons are only trying to protect themself and their environments and yet this seems to go forgotten when people start bashing them. And of course, I'd consider myself a toon guy so me saying all this and complaining may come off as "I HATE the cogs and everyone who posts only about them!" and for clarification that's not true. You all know how much I like that little brain thing. The cogs are interesting, their designs are fun, I don't blame people for liking them because I do too. I just wish that the thought process behind so many of these discussions wasn't so cog focused because I believe that this anger at the toons for, RIGHTFULLY, defending themselves helps push this mischaracterization of them as a whole. That they're mean, boring, unlikeable while the opposite is true. Yes there are some, what I'd consider, "filler" dialogue from the shopkeepers. This is just because of the gameplay. But there are some funny and cute moments with them if people would just listen and read.

Which also brings me into another point: people skip the dialogue. I've caught myself doing this before (on my first account. I have 4 accounts total, so I reread the dialogue on like 3 of them). But people will complain about lack of toon personalities while doing this. It's like reading through a comic book, only looking at the drawings, and then complaining because there "isn't a storyline". Luckily, there's been efforts to keep track of the dialogue on the wiki but I doubt a lot of people are going through and reading the entire script. It just feels very disingenuous to criticize the dialogue when you haven't even read it. Likewise, people don't seem to read the blogposts either. This is both from a dialogue aspect and from an update aspect (people continuously asking about hammerspace/mix-and-match under unrelated posts).

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

I really enjoy utilizing ghosts to make things interesting. I am very aware of what happens to Kutner and that coupled with the fact House hallucinates both Amber and Kutner AND Kutner is superstitious (and seems like he'd believe in ghosts) while House very much is NOT makes me want to do something VERY funny (imo)

[sonknuxadow]

you know i do wonder how many sonic characters actually have living parents. like knuckles is the last of his kind so obviously his parents arent around anymore. both guys who could be considered shadows dads are 100 percent confirmed dead. sonic is canonically an orphan im pretty sure. and on the other side of the coin cream is like the only character in the game cast who has a living parent we actually see onscreen. but what about everyone else i dont think theres a straight answer for any other character. other than rouge's mom being mentioned a couple times i Guess but we dont even know anything about her or if shes still alive just that she existed at some point. are these kids constantly putting themselves in danger because they dont have parents around to stop them or because their parents just dont care