#feel pretty bummed and depressed

[girl-bateman]

it sounds so obvious now, but im pretty sure my physical problems rn can all be traced back to the fact that my brain and body has been in a constant hypervigilance and cortisol overload for 3 months straight. the dizziness, the blackouts, the acne, the constant nausea, the giant eyebags and sudden crows feet ?? Like yeah, no shit thats what happens when ur every waking hour is the equivalent of that camille preaker crying gif

[temeraire]

i need something niceys im having such a bummer time rn

[dredshirtroberts]

well as it turns out, werewolf transformation is as painful as it looks.

in related news, guess who has memory problems and remembered their hormonal cycle directly impacts their chronic pain issues. (hint: it's meeee)

[rainrot4me]

Eyeless Jack General Headcannons

Summary: Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Jack as a character.

TW: NSFW below the cut, minors dni! Above the cut is sfw! Mentions of gore

Words: 2.3k

Basic:

- The definition of nonchalant doesn’t convey his emotions very well at all so he lets his actions do the talking.

- Even though he may put on a front of being calculated and detailed, everything he does is purely instinctual or off the top of his head. He’s never made great plans or thought further on a problem than he had to, relying solely on time or for everything to work itself out. Ben calls it ‘thuggin it out’. He may seem all cool, calm, and collected- but really, he just doesn’t care.

- Drives a brown 1989 Ford F-250. Found it discarded on some old hunting grounds and spent the next 3 years learning about truck parts just to fix it up. It’s nothing pretty and the A/C doesn’t work half the time, but that doesn't stop the proxies from either stealing it for missions or Jeff cruising it to gas stations.

- Loves his alone time. If ‘Do Not Disturb’ was a living being.

- Incredible sense of smell, a blessing and a curse.

- Even though he doesn’t really feel emotionally tied to anyone or reliant on anyone's attention, he would never pass up a good conversation with Jeff or Toby. Finds their problems interesting (and funny).

- Even though he doesn’t have any eyes, he can still see. How? Who even knows? The demon would describe it as more of a viewing like he can detail everything that’s happening, but he can’t physically see it. Cryptic stuff even he’s too dumb to figure out.

- Despite everything, probably the most upkeep and clean member of the mansion. While eating organs and harvesting them can be messy, he doesn’t like the grime and prefers to clean off as soon as he can. The same goes for his clothes and room/office. Surprisingly tidy.

- Not as smart as he likes to present himself. Sure, he’s a medical student with more experience than anyone in a 50-mile radius, but that doesn’t mean he knows what he’s doing all of the time. Whenever the proxies roll in with serious injuries, the demon shoots them full of antibiotics, cauterizes the wound, and prays it doesn’t get worse from there. He knows what he’s doing, but that doesn’t mean he knows it’ll work 100% of the time.

- A silent panicker. Will absolutely tear his brain to shreds worrying or fighting with himself, but keep a stone look on his face the entire time. Gauging his emotions is like conversing with a brick wall.

- Dry humor. Absolutely will answer your long, emotional paragraph with a thumbs-up emoji.

- In some sick way, slightly prefers the life he’s living now. It may be grotesque and depressing, but his knowledge of the medical field and human bodies is infinitely more broad than it would’ve been. He quite enjoys the freedom he has now.

- Never happier than when winter is fizzling out and the first signs of spring show up. The warmth, the colors, the vibrancy coming back. He can’t get enough of it. Absolutely will get lost just studying the snow melting from the new flower beds.

- Locked in the basement of the mansion at all times. Only comes out to eat or on the rare occasion he’s assigned a mission. The only place he truly feels comfortable.

- Will get oddly emotional when light reflects on the lake just right or the fog settles on the ridge just perfectly. You’d never guess, but he’s a big poetic bum.

- Purrs. Like a cat. Ears flick around like one too.

- With music, he’s a big lyric listener. The song could sound absolutely terrible, but as long as he resonates with the words, will enjoy it anyway.

- Unorganized organization freak. Everything has a place, even if you don’t know where that place is.

- Seriously underestimates just how overtowering he is. He’s nowhere near Slender’s height, but the demon easily doubles in the average human’s vertical. When he was human he was taller, but never like this. He’s still getting used to it.

- Lanky but quick. Limbs and features are longer, but the muscle index makes up for it. He’s seriously fit, but everything is evenly distributed. Serious muscle definition in his arms and back, though. What he lacks in strength, he makes up in speed and agility.

- Enjoys Radiohead, Cigarettes After Sex, Paramore, and Three Days Grace. Will also never admit it, but really enjoy the Twilight soundtracks.

Dating Him/SFW:

“My pet…” “Little thing…” “Pretty thing…”

- Gift-giving love language. Loves to make you things unexpectedly and watch the surprise on your face. Steals jewelry or clothing from his victims to gift to you.

- It takes a lot for the demon to even consider you a friend let alone a potential love interest. But you best believe once he’s decided he wants you, that’s it. You take precedent, anything and everything else in his life takes a step back and you become the focal point. Heaven help if you ever change your mind about him.

- “My pretty thing… my lovely little pet… all mine…”

- Physically can not get enough of your smell. Whether it be sweet or sour, whatever emotion you dwell in, this demon will bury his nose into the crook of your neck and waste away there. It’s intoxicating to him, like an emotional tie he’s bound to.

- Like to study you. Your movements, your voice, the way you react to certain stimuli. Everything about you and your personality just intrigues him to no end.

- Possessive in the, ‘If they look at you, I’ll kill them’ way, but also is sure enough in himself and you to know he doesn’t need to go that far. Would rather lock you away for only him to see, but respects you too much.

- Has a deep-rooted fear of hurting you, so any fight or disagreement turns him distant. He’ll come back eventually, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be comfortable enough to get all touchy-feely again just yet.

- A lot like Edward from Twilight, he wants to taste you the most. It’s seriously a bad habit to nip at your skin or get lost in your scent because he knows how easy it would be just to take a chunk out of you. Has to be very aware and cautious of himself.

- Even though it took a long time for him to be comfortable enough to take his mask off around you, he still gets wildly conscious about it whenever you’re around. Loves nothing more than when you’re caressing his face or kissing his skin because he knows it's genuine.

- For a cannibal, he’s an insanely good cook. Will only cook for you, however. He says it's out of love, but really he knows deep down he wants to control what you eat so you have good organ health. You best believe he’ll have you hitting those core diet needs.

- Doesn’t sleep often, but when he does it's for long periods. The problem is, he likes to completely swallow you with his body and wrap around you, keeping you there until he eventually wakes up. Really enjoys the body heat you provide. Lowkey a small spoon.

- Slouches to your height.

- His favorite time is after a long day, curling up in a big chair with a book and you in his lap. You cocoon in his arms as he leans back, a blanket draped over the two of you. He’s naturally cold-blooded so he would stay there forever if he could.

- “You smell so good, pet… So good…”

- Talks in short, mumbled sentences. The mansion residents started using you as a translator because he would only say more than 3 words at a time around you.

- Absolutely never cared about how he looked before you. You taught him decent clothing styles and now he rocks the ‘dark academia/soft boy’ aesthetic like a champ.

- Made you your own special corner in his lab just because he couldn’t deal with having to be away while working.

- An intense kisser. It’s never soft pecks but full-on mouth-consuming makeouts. He’s a hungry guy who can only be satisfied if he feels like he’s swallowed enough of your tongue and lips with his own. Your lips and chin are absolutely soaked with slobber afterward.

- Firm believer in carrying you. No matter where or how far, he likes to bridal-style haul you around or have you latch onto his back.

- “I could eat you up. Just kidding… yeah…”

- Goes ridiculously insane when he can see the chubbiness on your thighs or stomach. You sitting down or lying out, you best believe he is fighting every demon internally not to take a massive bite on your skin.

Dating Him/NSFW:

- Again, skin. No better than a man during the dark times when you flash just a little too much leg or abdomen. He’s on you in seconds and clawing your clothes off to see more.

- You will never leave an encounter without cum dripping out of you. Refuses to get off anywhere else but deep inside of one of your holes. Call it a breeding kink but his animalistic tendencies just won’t let him pull out. Grunting and panting against your nape as he slams inside as far as he can to keep you from squirming away

- “You can take it, I know you can… Need you full of me… All of me…”

- A greedy kisser. Grabbing your jaw and fucking his tongues into the warm wetness of your mouth, teasing to just push them further past the tightness of your throat. Even when you squirm and gag, he just pushes them deeper, testing your resolve.

- You reach your breaking point longggg before he does. A couple of orgasms deep and he hasn’t even put his cock in yet, just milking your body for all it’s worth. It may be because he has a high sex drive, but it’s mainly because he gets off best when you’re pliable and numb to his touch. It’s a domination thing.

- A pussy worshiper. Much like his adoration for any organ, he really appreciates all of his knowledge of the female anatomy and how good he is at eating you out. If he can, or if you can take it, he’ll press all three of his tongues deep inside and spread your plush walls to his content. Likes to swap between focusing on your cunt and your clit, but mainly both at once.

- Bite marks galore. Has to be careful with how much blood he draws, but you’ll never get by without at least one good bite mark on your shoulder. Likes to possessively mark you all over just for others to see. Same feeling with claw marks.

- There’s some cognitive switch in his brain that flips when he gets to a certain point of desperation, like after not seeing you for a long period or after a particularly difficult day. It’s like a starved creature hungry and desperate for anything. He’ll ravage your body and mind, fucking you both to pure exhaustion or until he physically can’t cum anymore.

- On that note, ruts. They’re seasonal, usually coming around the first two weeks of spring and fall. He can’t control when they show up, but once started, they usually last 3 to 4 days, each day getting less intense. Since it’s such an animalistic ordeal, he loses all restraint or moral compass on how to treat you. Bites, blood, wounds, and injury are all possible. They’re not intentional, but he physically cannot control his mental or physical, blinded completely by lust. Thank god his sperm isn’t compatible with human anatomy, because that’s the only place he’ll cum.

- “I’m sorry- sorry, pet- Just one more time- just one more- Fuck- I promise-”

- Both ankles wrapped in one claw. Two claws overlapping around your waist. Yeah…

- Starts slow, so achingly slow you want to rut your hips and get him deeper. He likes the feeling of entering you, of spreading your plush cunt around his cock and finding its home deep inside. He’ll get faster eventually, but for now, he just wants to drink up the sights and smells of your desperation. That first gasp gets him every time.

- Mating press or nothing else. If you want to try something new, he’ll happily oblige, but the only way he’s truly happy is if your legs are pushed back to your shoulders and his hips are slamming down into yours. He’ll take the occasional doggy style, but only if his teeth are latched on to the back of your neck and holding you docile.

- Could watch your face come undone all day. Loves to see your eyes roll when you come, or the sweat and tears dripping off your cheeks. The dark flush of your skin gets him so hungry he has to physically restrain himself.

- “You’re so gorgeous- so fuckin’ pretty- Ah- Look at me. C’mon, don’t get shy now…”

- One time, after a particularly messy organ harvest, he couldn’t wait to get to you. He was so livid, body practically shaking with excitement when he snuck into your room that he didn’t even have time to clean himself off. Blood (not yours) stained your sheets and skin, messy claws dragging across your stomach and chest to coat you in dark red, his tongues quick to shoot out and lap at the stuff. You, covered in blood and his mess, sent him spinning. That was the fastest he’s ever came.

- Growling, panting, snarling, huffing, chittering, teeth gnashing, LOUD ASF

- Has a size thing. Comparing your hand to his makes him so horny and eager to just pick you up and fuck you. Admires how small and easy you are to just throw around like a doll.

- Absolutely has had sick fantasies of fucking your organs like a fleshlight. He’d never tell you, but the thought of cutting a slit in your abdomen to push his cock into the tangle of intestines and muscles makes him drool. He can almost imagine how warm it would be.

- Gets a high when you squirt. Feels accomplished to be covered in your juices and having you completely ruined for anyone but him.

- “You can take it for me, yeah? Go ahead and make a mess… It’s alright…”

Thanks for reading!

Comments and reblogs are appreciated! 𐚁₊⊹

[cirr0stratus]

going to a mental hospital for literally like 5 days and my entire life crashing and burning and no one liking me anymore and everything being horrible 👍👍👍

[woso-dreamzzz]

Broken

Wonze x Child!Reader

Summary: You break your arm

There's not really any other way Lucy can describe you but depressed.

With your arm stuck in a cast, you're severely limited in what you can do and you just kind of trudge after Keira.

The atmosphere in the house has been a bit frosty since the accident and Lucy knows it's her fault. She's the one that wasn't watching you on the climbing frame at the park until after the nasty tumble that had your arm snapping when you tried to put it out to stop your fall.

Keira's right to be pissed off at her but your own bad moods have noticeably worsened everything.

You cry a lot more now and you keep whacking your cast on things that wouldn't usually cause you pain.

"How's baby bear?" Georgia asks at breakfast one morning.

"Sad," Lucy replies sullenly," She can't leave Keira's side for even a minute. I tried to give her a bath yesterday when Kei was on the phone but she just cried the whole time. Her arm's been bothering her too."

Georgia makes a sympathetic noise, head turning to where you and Keira have just walked in.

It's not an uncommon sight now to see you in Keira's arms. You don't want to leave them almost as much as Keira doesn't want you to leave them.

You sniffle a little as Keira sits you in your usual seat between her and Lucy and you stiffly place your casted arm onto the table. What makes it worse, is that it's on your dominant hand so you're struggling a little bit to do everyday things like feeding yourself and drawing.

Lucy loads up your fork and shovels food into your mouth. Your appetite has been affected by your mood so it's always hit and miss how much you're actually going to eat for breakfast so she's hoping to get as much down you as possible before your mood finally catches up with you.

You turn away when you've had enough, pushing your food away and looking over at Keira.

"Bear," Lucy says softly," Don't you want to eat some more? You haven't eaten much."

"No, thank you," You say sullenly, moving to climb into Keira's lap, resting your head on her chest and curling yourself into her body.

Keira sighs as she rises from the table. "I'm going to see if Leah can cheer her up. I'll be back in second."

"Jesus," Georgia says as she and Lucy watch Keira go," You're right. That kid is so depressed. She's had that cast on for at least a week now. You'd think she'd have adapted by now."

"She will," Lucy replies, suddenly feeling defensive," She's getting there. It won't be long now. She's getting better."

"I heard she had to miss her friend's birthday party," Georgia says," Keira said she'd been looking forward to it."

Lucy sighs, pushing her food around her plate. "Yeah. It was the day after she broke her arm. Bear was pretty bummed at missing it."

"I can imagine. Being so sad doesn't suit her."

"Hopefully, Leah can snap her out of it."

No matter what Lucy's hoping Leah will do, it doesn't really seem to be working.

Auntie Leah's sitting with Beth from Arsenal and she's trying to get you to detach from Mummy but you refuse.

"Come on, bear!" Auntie Leah laughs," Don't you want to see this cute video I've got?"

You think for a moment. You really want to watch it but you don't want to let go of Mummy at all. Letting go of something was how you got hurt in the first place and Mummy's more sturdier than the climbing frame and you feel safer holding her tight.

She would never drop you.

She's your Mummy bear and you're her baby bear.

She's big and warm and safe and you press yourself further into her like you could melt into her skin and stay there forever.

"How about some chocolate?" Auntie Leah asks," You can hang out in my room with G and I and we can eat chocolate until our tummies hurt."

Normally you would agree with that. You love spending time eating chocolate with Auntie Leah and G but you don't really want to be away from Mummy and Mum. It's bad enough that Mum's across the room from you but you can see her so you know that she's safe.

"We can even watch Brother Bear!"

That nearly breaks you. Brother Bear is your favourite movie ever but Mummy and Mum don't really like screen time so you only get to watch it if you've been very good.

But, still, you'll give up Brother Bear if it means you can stay with Mummy and Mum.

You shake your head. "Want Mum," You whisper against Mummy's skin.

She sighs, resting her head on yours. "Okay, bear," She says, defeated," Let's get Mum."

When you get to Mum, she's whispering to Georgia, who smiles at you before scampering off to Auntie Leah.

"What are you two planning?" Mummy asks suspiciously as she sits in the seat that used to be yours.

"Nothing bad," Mum says quickly before her hand runs over the back of your head and you turn to look at her," How are you feeling, bear?"

"Itchy." You hold your casted arm out to her.

Mum's gotten good at scratching your cast itches.

"Itchy?" She echoes," Well, we can't have that!" She takes a small wooden spoon out of her pocket and starts tapping at the cast. The doctors told her that she's not allowed to let you put stuff down it in case it causes infections so hopefully the vibrations will knock out your itchiness.

It does for the most part and you flop your head back against Mummy when Mum is done.

"Thank you, Mum," You say.

"Of course, bear."

Lucy watches as G and Leah wander out of the room and awaits the text she knows is coming.

You get a bit restless doing nothing and Keira gently runs her hand through your hair to settle you against her again.

"Come on," Lucy says when she finally gets the text," We've got a little surprise, bear."

Your brow furrows in confusion but you don't put up a fight as you're taken back up to the bedrooms. You bypass Mummy and Mum's room in favour of going to Auntie Leah and G's.

Both of them are waiting for you.

Their beds have been pushed together to create a mega bed and their sheets have been made into a little nest with space for all five of you to curl up in.

There's bags of your favourite snacks and your favourite chocolate milk. The title screen of Brother Bear is paused.

You sniffle.

"Oh, no!" G says," Don't cry!"

"These are happy tears," Mum says, wiping them from your cheeks," Isn't that right, bear?"

You nod. "Happy tears."

"Are you ready, bear?" Mummy asks," We're going to have nice chill day with G and Auntie Leah."

"Ready."

[shiny-jr]

from IGNIHYDE

- Warning: Yes, this is still a yandere thing. You have been warned. Gender-neutral reader.

- Characters: Idia Shroud, Ortho Shroud.

- Summary: (Continuation, after this “we just got a letter, wonder where it’s from”) You have barred them from entering the safety of Ramshackle Dorm, but they are determined to make their words reach you. Which is why the letters begin arriving at your doorstep.

- Note: This seems a little more low-key than Diasomnia, but the obsession is there if you squint. It’s just way more low-key than the previous group. For some reason I feel like I maybe wrote Ortho a little off? Not sure. Feel free to tell me your thoughts.

Diasomnia   |   Ignihyde   |   Pomefiore

The break ends quickly. Too quickly. Before you know it, you’re back in front of the mountain of unread letters that appears even more ominous than before now that you could guess what sort of dark contents they may hold. 

For your own peace of mind, you’ve decided to read only two and then take a pause right after. 

The first of which was just a simple long white envelope. That’s it. There was nothing that stood out about it, no special seal or stamp. It was just the generic type of encasing that made it look like it was some sort of bill instead of a letter containing what was bound to be a message that unsettled you in some way, shape, or form. 

When you removed the letter, you was surprised to see that it wasn’t handwritten, it had been typed and printed out. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who this was from. 

Player, 

I messed everything up.

I don’t even see a point to doing this, writing this for you. I mean, if I were you, I’d never want to see my no-good miserable face ever again. I’d go to every length just to avoid even speaking to me again, and to spite them I’d never even show myself around again. But–– Ortho was making a letter and brought my keyboard to my lap. He said it was worth a shot, and if anything, it could be used as an apology so... sorry.

Any sorry would sound half-assed, considering what happened. It’s not like it matters, since I’m sure you wouldn’t read this. I imagine you would figure out it’s from me, and proceed to tear it up, burn it, whatever. And honestly? Valid. At this point, I’m sort of using it as a vent. Usually, I’d be telling Ortho all this, but all these thoughts I’m having would only bum him out and he’s depressed enough as it is. 

You know what sucks besides all of this? The fact that I genuinely tried. I actually tried to be a help for once, and like it always ends, my attempt to help screwed it up even more. Maybe if I had kept my mouth shut and minded my own business while holing myself up in my room like I always do, things wouldn’t have turned out this bad. If I just did what I was good at, which is nothing, Ortho and I might’ve avoided the shitstorm. Everyone else is currently throwing pity parties and plotting these super over elaborate schemes to try and interact with you by luring you out of the Ramshackle place. 

Ortho’s been coming up with plans too with other guys from the dorms that are just so desperate for your attention. It’s sad to watch, pathetic too, but I don’t have the heart to tell him not to bother with it. And me, I know better. If I were in your position and I saw all these attempts, it would definitely make me extra bitter and just hate everyone even more. Oh, I just remembered something worth mentioning. You may not believe me, I mean, I wouldn’t believe a single word coming from me, but I wasn’t actually going to hurt Grim. You though? Before I knew who you were? Yeah. Don’t get it twisted though, I was just doing it to fix everything until the whole truth got leaked not too long after.

Call me stupid, I guess. When I first saw how others revered you like how a bunch of creepy basement-dwellers look at a pretty perfect idol on a shiny bright stage, it was a major red flag. I wanted nothing to do with you. But when you started worming yourself into my life and I started getting attached, well, that made me a creep too for liking you. Red flags be damned. What can I say? Your presence even through Yuu, made me feel like I mattered, which is something I don’t experience a lot. 

You’d never know it, but I took risks just to be in the same room as your avatar. 

Missing special events on games, losing the chance to catch a concert live on screen, even ditching group calls with teammates and friends... All of that was utterly worthless if I got at least a solid sixty seconds by you. 

Unlike everyone else, I know better than to just show up at your doorstep and beg for forgiveness like some misguided puppy. Malleus and co. have been making sure you’re not disturbed, guarding you like a pack of guard dogs or something, preventing anyone from embarrassing themselves and messing up any further. Ortho said I should at least try to call you, I think he just wants to hear your voice. But why bother? 

Don’t get it wrong, I’m not just letting everything go just like that. As much as I’d like to, and I know it’s probably the “healthy” and “good” thing to do, I don’t want to. I’m not good, you know that already. I’ll keep in the background this time, and try not to mess up again. Although no guarantees, because with my lousy luck, I know something will inevitably go wrong. Don’t worry, I won’t bother you. I wouldn’t want to make the mental image you have of me in your mind even worse, if its even remotely possible for it to somehow get worse. I just can’t let go. Even if you looked at me like trash, avoided me like the plague, or straight up tell me ‘I hate you’ to my face, I still won’t let go. 

And, well, all I can really think of right now besides you, is Ortho. Even if I can’t show my disgraced presence to you anymore, I still hope you’ll see Ortho. At least if Ortho could explain to you that he was acting on my plan, he might get lucky and be next to you again. Maybe. Hard maybe. 

But me? No, I don’t ever deserve to be anywhere near you anymore. For now, I’ll go back to how things were way back... when your vessel hadn’t yet had the misfortune of meeting me and I just watched your every move from monitors like some sort of loser schmuck. 

I think I’ll just imagine how things would be if I hadn’t doomed all my chances. If I had a chance... maybe I would’ve actually worked up the gall to sit next to you, or even look at you, or, hell, talk to you. At least, I’ll always remember when you used your avatar to look at me and it didn’t feel bad... like, almost like you didn’t see me as some lame nobody. That must’ve been my mind just playing tricks on me though, right? There’s no way that happened... 

Enough of this mushy stuff though. I’m sick of it. 

Just throw this in the fire without a second glance. 

Idia Shroud 

In order to get this over as quickly as possible, you decided to continue without taking a breather. The quicker you finished reading them, the better, that way, you wouldn’t even give your mind any time to fully process what you were reading before overwhelming your vision with more lines and lines of words until they became blurred together. 

You wouldn’t stop, because if you stopped, that would be allowing your mind the opportunity to spiral out of control. You needed a distraction. 

This wasn’t exactly the good type of distraction either, it was more like adding gasoline to the fire, but part of you had to know what they would say. No matter what feelings you held, the curiosity outweighed it. 

The second letter is identical to the first, a simple long white envelope with no particularly interesting details about it other than the fact that it had zero stains and no wrinkles on it. It was pristine and clean, not even a drop of ink on it. The insides of the envelope itself were blue, with small white lines on it, but upon closer inspection it became obvious that they weren’t just stripes, they were skull symbols so tiny that it was hardly noticeable. 

Of course, as you expected, the letter inside was not handwritten. It was folded so precisely into thirds, and unfolding it displayed the typed and printed words neatly stacked in indented paragraphs. 

Greetings, Player, 

First, I want to apologize sincerely. 

Secondly, I want to tell you how much I have missed you, and my brother has missed you as well! I don’t believe I can fully comprehend how you are felling at the current moment, and I cannot even accurately guess to what emotions you are experiencing. In my attempt to alleviate the situation, I’ve been running millions of simulations of possible alternative futures in order to take the best route where things might return to a semblance of normalcy. 

Well, a new normal, now that you’re here! However... when each simulation yields a result, I can’t help but feel as if something is wrong. That’s when I realized there was a key component that was off. It was you, or rather, Yuu. We know of Yuu and their mannerisms and opinions, but that isn’t really you. Yuu is a vessel, and extension, that’s partially based off yourself. 

So none of us know the true you. At least, not yet! I’m hoping to change that. Just when I think I’m beginning to understand you, things like this happen. But, that’s what makes you so exciting! There’s always some unforeseen detail and amazing new aspect of yourself to learn about. Once I get a proper grasp on what you’re truly like, I can use that new knowledge to make you happy, just as you made me and my brother always smile!  But also, I want to use it to make it up to you. Honestly, I’m scared that you’ll hate me. In the simulations I ran that gave inaccurate results due to those missing components, nearly all the results had a bad ending... 

I don’t want that. I want to have a ‘normal’ way with you and Idia! A good normal! Like where we might all have movie nights in the Ignihyde dorm with freshly popped popcorn and candies as snacks, or study days when we read over notes and help each other out, maybe you might even be able to convince Idia to leave his room so we can all share lunch in the cafeteria like a group of friends would typically do! That’s what I want! I don’t think I could stand knowing I made you cry or was the cause of your pain. I never hurt you, right? At least not physically. 

Believe me, I had made attempts to meet you. But those in Diasomnia won’t allow it. I was tempted to charge up the technomantic beam installed within my form, but realizing it wasn’t necessary, I didn’t. Idia was right when he didn’t make an effort to even join me, and Malleus Draconia with his own have realized it too. You aren’t ready yet. Even if I’m more than prepared to see you, I can’t rush you. So, I left this letter in their hands, hoping it reached you. If not, there’s no worries. I’ve prepared a dozen more printed copies and if that fails, I’ve created a digital copy! 

Since I couldn’t tell you in person, I’ll tell you through paper... 

I’d like to invite you to formally meet me. I’m even prepared to surprise Idia with this! That’ll cheer him up for sure. You always made him happy, so us properly meeting you would be a dream come true for us both! 

If you’d like to do something upon meeting us, I’ve organized multiple activities for us to participate in. The other first years have reached out and expressed their own desires to make up for the mistakes they made. So, I met with them a few days ago to make plans you might enjoy! These plans are still in the preparation phase, so I can’t reveal them quite yet, but soon I will! 

Anyways, I just wanted to make you aware of this. And I want to say ‘I’m sorry’ even though it feels minuscule to what I’m only guessing must be the strong emotions you feel toward what occurred. But I wanted to let you know that I always want to be your friend, and I always will be, even if you don’t really like me anymore. Friends are supposed to be there for each other, right? So I’ll be there for you now. Remember, I’m a high-tech being, I can be of great use to you if you want! Even if you’d rather just use me as a tool, I would be happy. If you want someone obliterated to ashes or are just looking to answers as to what the weather might be, I would gladly help you with that and so much more! 

And it’s not only me that could be useful to you, my brother can too! Although he probably won’t say it, he depends on you a lot. You’re like a battery to him, you give him the energy he needs. If you’d let him, let us both, we’d be there for you in a zeptosecond! 

There’s one thing I know for certain. You’re the common variable needed for our happiness, no matter the scenario or result, you are a requirement. And I’m certain we can bring you happiness as well. Myself, my brother, and everyone that treasures you, can bring you joy if you allow it. All I want is to see you happy, and everyone else happy as well. So will you please at least consider seeing us again? Soon? Please? 

Hoping to see you soon. 

From your friend, 

Ortho Shroud  

[yanderetheumbrellaacademy]

When They Get Jealous

Summary: What happens when they someone flirting with you and they get jealous? Characters: Luther Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Lila Pitts, Allison Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves, Five Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves, Viktor Hargreeves, Marcus Hargreeves, Sparrow! Ben Hargreeves, Fei Hargreeves, Sloane Hargreeves, Jayme Hargreeves Tw: Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Su!c!dal indications

Luther Hargreeves

Kind of insecure

He's also angry and crushes whatever he's holding in his hands

He's surprised when looking down at the crushed item

Then he becomes annoyed

He'll go to the bathroom to clean up and you'll quickly follow him

"Are you okay?"

He's surprised by your presence and the fact that you followed him

He'll then feel bad about his feelings before

You would never hurt him and he knows that, so why would he even feel that way? You've never done anything to justify that feeling

"Um... Nothing, I accidently- uh, crushed this thing- You know... Strength issues..."

You'll help him clean up/patch up and it makes Luther guilty and he momentarily forgets about the previous feeling... At least until next time

Deigo Hargreeves & Lila Pitts

What a duo

Lila definitely filled Diego's head with delusions and will convince him to do something stupid [Like kill the person flirting w/ you] while she hides the body

Lila takes it better, but inside she's more pissed than Diego

Diego is mad at you and won't talk to you. You'll have to profusely apologize and prove to him you care, otherwise he won't speak to you. Trust, he can hold a grudge

Lila, on the other hand, is very extroverted and will go over to where you are and talk to the person who was flirting with you

There's is definitely tension in the air, even though it doesn't show on her face

She's all smiles and happy, but it doesn't show in her eyes

Deigo is mad, but Lila sees it as an opportunity to manipulate you [She also wants a reason to kill somone]

You try and talk back and she'll bring up how sad it makes them when people flirt with you and she'll emotionally manipulate into feeling bad

You didn't like the person but... maybe she's right? I mean- you didn't exactly tell the person no or that you were taken, but you had asked them to stop.... Was that enough?

Allison Hargreeves

Oh, no no no nononononono

She is NOT letting that happen

The person who's flirting with you must have a death wish

She doesn't want to use her powers, but...

Well, she really has to fight the urge

She looks very sweet and kind, so she can just come into the conversation and play nice girl

She'll drag you off, talking about needing your help or something, while apologizing for taking you away [But she doesn't really mean it]

You won't even notice she's mad until you're alone

She'll accuse you of cheating or trying to leave her

You're taken by surprise, but don't even try and fight her, because she's in a very low/depressive state, so she'd be easy to push into doing something drastic

So, you'll have to wait until she feels better to confront her

Klaus Hargreeves

They already assume you don't love them, so this just fills this delusion they have

It really bums them out and they get super depressed

They get extra clingy whenever they get you alone

They're usually pretty clingy, so you don't think about it to much

Until, they start whining about the guy at the bar

They'll ask you if you like them [Flirter] more than them [Klaus]

You'll tell them no, but they don't believe you

They'll emotion manipulate you saying that you probably hate them and if you ever leave them, they'll kill themselves

Five Hargreeves

Someone flirting with you? Do they have a death wish??

Not afraid to kill a man or women. He doesn't care

The only issue is he'd never admit his jealousy. You have to confront him and at first he'll deny it, but if you keep pushing he'll get pissed and yell 'You know what- I am jealous! So what!?!'

You're surprised he admitted it, but that's the only time you're getting it

He'll deny saying it and gaslight you into thinking it never happened

He will kill them, he just needs a little time, which he has plenty of

It is bloody, gory and gruesome

No one will find the body, but he'll make sure you know the person is dead and it's all your fault

He'll make sure you never do it again because he hates this feeling and it bothers the hell out of him

Ben Hargreeves

He wasn't really having fun at the party, so when seeing someone hit on you, it just made his night worse

He's scared you'll realize that he's not good enough

He hates the icky feeling in his stomach and it only continues to grow

Though it does make the feeling subside when seeing you roll your eyes and push the person out of the way before heading towards him

It makes him giddy and smile; Like a school boy

The fact that you'd chose him over everyone else really fuels his obsession, so be warned

When you get to him, you complain about the person

"Did you see them?"

He'll pretend that he wasn't paying attention and you gasp, before sitting down and ranting about how stupid that person was

He practically has hearts in his eyes and he looks at you like you're the only person in the world, which to him you are

Viktor Hargreeves

He's annoyed, but he's not going to do anything drastic [Or at least he tries]

He wants to do something, but he doesn't really know what to do, because he's never had like a good relationship

He watches sadden from afar before wallowing in his own self pity

Though, after everything that has happened, he is a little bit more confident it just takes some working up before he can go over to you

He'll debate about it for a few though. Like he'll sit up, but quickly sit back down and do it over again until he finally gathers the courage to approach you

He'll finally approach you, thinking of what he's going to do as he approaches you, but when he finally approaches you he's still lost on what to do

He'll just act and kiss you infront of the person, which takes the flirter by surprise

The flirter will apologize and end up leaving you alone

You're surprised by Viktor's brazen behavior, but it's also kind of a turn on and he'll kiss you again before you can comment on it

Marcus Hargreeves

He doesn't get 'jealous'

That word isn't even in his dictionary

Well, that was until he saw a guy flirting with you

What is this feeling???

It's an icky feeling that he doesn't like it

He'll put an end to it quickly [Both the flirting and the feeling]

You're kind of taken aback when Marcus comes up to you and pulls you away from the conversation

He would have folded his way into the conversation, but he would have been passive aggressive

You try and ask him what's wrong, but he's quick to deflect the conversation

He'll push the feeling deep down and it'll come up when you both get into a fight

Sparrow! Ben Hargreeves

He's furious

If he wasn't busy nursing his drink, he probably would have knocked the guy out. Thankfully he's drunk and not sober

Though he can't help the thoughts in his mind... Violent thoughts

The thoughts will become a lot and he has to leave

He's mad at the person, but then he starts thinking and he suddenly becomes mad at you

How come you didn't tell them to back off????

He becomes slightly insecure but he fights that feeling and it becomes overcome with anger

He'll end up leaving without you, because he needs time to be alone and think

Though, this just makes his feelings worse. While he's drunk he's sad and depressed, but when he becomes sober, his emotions quickly turn to anger and he wants to confront you

So, when he sees you again he's anger has already been bubbling up and he blows up

You're taken aback and kind of scared because he's so mad and he's yelling and you can't even decipher what he's talking about

He needs some time to cool off, but he can't be alone, because his feelings will cool off

You'll go to another room while he cools off, so that he knows you're still around, but you're not alone together

He will eventually calm down and apologize for his behavior, but not with words, but like subtle actions, gifts, and such

Fei Hargreeves

You don't even know she's jealous, because she hides it so well

She's kind of scary looking, so no-one has approached her

She takes her jealousy pretty well and doesn't let it bother her

It just kind of rolls off her back

She's confident and knows who she is and what she wants, so she's not threatened by some nobody trying to hit on you

Though, if she sees you getting uncomfortable, she will step in

Thanks to her looks, they back off rather quickly

It's rather silly to her and she finds the whole thing stupid

She takes it the best and doesn't let it bother her

10/10 best girlfriend <3

Sloane Hargreeves

She's a sweet girl and doesn't deserve to be sad

She's a hopeless romantic, so when she sees people flirting and being cute, she instantly is like 'Awww' until she realizes it's you

Then she's mad and her mind races with multiple different scenario

What if you leave her?

Oh god, what if you don't love her anymore?

What if you click with them so well that you think they're you're soul mate and you leave he-

She shakes her head, before standing up

She fixes her hair, before putting on her brightest smile and approaching you

She's very beautiful, so they person who was hitting on you will turn and flirt with her too

She'll become annoyed, because they were just hitting on you and now they're hitting on her? Were you not good enough for them???

Who did they think they were?

Instead of being mad that they were flirting with you, she's mad they STOPPED flirting with you to flirt with her

You're incredible, so she's confused why they don't realize that

She calls them on it and you're really flattered, but you have to drag her away, so she doesn't get to carried away

Jayme Hargreeves

It's more of an annoyance

She doesn't think about it to much

She's probably the only one who WILL come up to you and interrupt your conversation in a rude way

If the flirter is rude to her she'll use her powers and pull you away from them

It all happens so fast, you don't even process it until you're back at the house

"What the hell was that???"

She doesn't even turn to you, but you do here her make a sound of confusion

Your brows frown, and you groan, "Why did you use your powers on that person"

"Why were you flirting with them?" Still she hasn't turned towards you

"I wasn't flirting with them!"

She keeps her cool, making brash accusations, which causes you to get angry and by the end of it she makes it seem like YOU are the crazy one

[evelmiina]

Poster color on illustration board, 30cm x 17cm

Taking a photo of it with my phone is very hard. I have very mixed feelings, I enjoyed painting it and I'm feeling excited about doing things again but I'm also disappointed - because I think it would be more solid illustration if I did it digitally but I just don't want to. I know I can do good work digitally but it bums me out at the moment. Sitting at computer all the time is making me depressed. I tried a trick I learned from anime background painter videos, and used a ruler and paintbrush supported with pencil, like I was holding chopsticks. It was pretty exciting that it worked , not that it shows very well- my painting is kinda whimsy partly on purpose partly because I am not good enough but it was kind of a revelation, like oh I get it. It is possible to make very intricate detail. There's a cool clip of how Akira backgrounds were painted at the beginning of this video: https://youtu.be/BMwNilk-YyE they're not using a pencil though but some plastic tool.

[power-chords]

My folks and I have been reading some of the literature on COVID/Bipolar I and they seem to suspect — and I’m inclined to agree with them — that what I thought was “long COVID” after my second bout with the virus may have in fact been my first recognizable depressive episode. Most of my symptoms overlapped with the depressive phase of Bipolar I, so disentangling the two is probably impossible in retrospect, but for many many months I was behaving in ways that are completely uncharacteristic of my personality: I was exhausted, unmotivated, and even more inattentive than my ADHD makes me ordinarily; I was uninterested in things that give me great pleasure, like going to shows and creative writing; I had brain fog so bad it was an uphill battle doing things that otherwise come quite easily to me, like communicating verbally and expressing myself with clarity and precision. Gradually these symptoms subsided, and I became even more productive and social than usual, which may very well have been a protracted hypomanic phase. I caught COVID again earlier this year, and by the start of July I was spiraling into full blown mania, prone to intense emotional states like expansive rapturous joy and crying jags at the drop of a hat. Music, theater, and reading fiction felt almost unbearably moving and profound. I was writing like crazy, and pretty soon afterward I was acting crazy, too, with racing thoughts and speech, disturbed sleep, and thoughts/ideas that were growing progressively more disordered and paranoid.

I prefer the term “manic depression,” though some consider it antiquated/offensive, because to me it most accurately describes my experience. But by my 36th birthday my new shrink had diagnosed me with full blown Bipolar I. I’m much better now with several weeks of a mood stabilizer under my belt, and this past weekend we went with the “nuclear option,” I.E. a four-day course of high dose antipsychotics. I was miserable from the extrapyramidal side effects, and had to take Xanax throughout in order to tolerate the akathisia and restless leg syndrome. But thank god, it snapped me right out of it, and knock on wood I’m back to my old self — with a little luck, I’ll have another 15 years symptom-free, or with just low grade hypomanic/depressive states that are so mild as to feel like ordinary, subclinical mood swings.

What I’m struggling with is the feeling that I’ve been handed a label sticker that amounts to crippling disability at best, and an early death sentence at worst. I will probably always have to keep these incredibly powerful drugs with their rotten side effect profile on hand, and may one day need to take them consistently, if I wind up having future severe episodes. To have to choose between Shitty and Shittier over a dangerous brain disease feels like I’ve been dealt the world’s worst genetic hand, and that bums me out a lot. I know it’s not my fault, but seeing the agony I’ve put my parents through is the worst part. Figuring out how to manage this is going to be a lifelong struggle against my own lousy biology, and that sucks. I’m trying to stay optimistic. It’s been really, really hard.

[toysrguts]

smiling friends headcanons!! :D

i have smiling friends brainrot

allan:

•wine is his de-stresser. after a long shift he likes to go home and sip on a glass of wine while watching shit TV like some kind of cool guy

•doesn't smoke cigarettes often but will bum one off of charlie sometimes during their breaks

•bites people he loves :)

•perhaps his dr. monsters appointment with dr. monster was an appointment to assess him for OCD

•very very particular about the way he likes things and hates unexpected change in his routine

•also a math god he's like a walking calculator

•always helping other people reach things that they cant

•he has to be like 6’3 or something probably

•autism be damned my boy can work a grill (he can cook really well)

•in fact hes often the one cooking meals for the other smiling friends

•he also lovessss to garden its one of his favorite hobbies

•he grows his own vegetables to cook with and flowers to decorate his home :)

•i feel like this man would get down to some queen or duran duran

•he’ll listen to pretty much anything but i feel like he would gravitate towards 80s classics

•used to own a car that he loved but it broke down and he never bought another one

•went to school for engineering and started volunteering at smiling friends after graduating as kind of a placeholder job, but loved it so much it became his full time job

•cheese is his safe food

•had to wear glasses when he was younger but felt like they deterred the ladies so he switched to wearing contacts

•probably drinks black coffee like a fucking freak

•either that or he adds oat milk

•hes pretty anxious and freaks out a lot and will also snap if he has sensory overload

•wears noise canceling headphones a lot cause too much noise drives him insane

•HATES fabric touching his skin but will still wear a tie cause “it’s classy” and will wear clothes if hes out in public

•once took a trip to france and almost didnt come back cuz it was like cheese heaven

•goes clubbing during some of his nights off and is a karaoke GOD

•also goated at chess and gets heated during a game of scrabble

charlie:

•definitely sneaks a cart into work every day

•if allan didn’t cook this dude would go into debt from ordering takeout every day

•was raised mostly by his uncle cause his parents werent always around, and they're more like really good friends now that hes older

•grew up poor and had a pretty hard childhood overall but he doesn't dwell on it too much

•relieves his stress and frustration by terrorizing people in fortnite lobbies

•the smiling friends hq is air conditioned 24/7 per his request, he's heat sensitive and sweats EXCESSIVELY

•uses axe body spray to mask the stench

•his living conditions are depressing to look at, the only furniture in his apartment is a mattress and an old camping chair he borrowed from his uncle years ago

•also probably owns a shelf dedicated to lego builds

•he spends like 90% of his time in his bed if not working

•his morning routine consists of waking up disoriented asf, throwing on some clothes laying on the floor, forgetting to brush his teeth and walking out the door

•was exposed to shock sites wayyy too young

•acted out and got in trouble a lot in his adolescence but now just likes to keep to himself for the most part

•believe it or not he was baptized as a baby

•started caring about life a little more ever since experiencing hell

•feel like he likes music his uncle showed him as a kid, maybe judas priest and whitesnake type shit

•doesn’t even have to say anything when he goes to salty’s cause hes a regular and they know his exact order

•thats a bisexual man if ive ever seen one

•the hat hides his receding hairline lul

•has a fat ass surgical scar on his nose from when james ripped it off

•wears the same beat up white adidas shoes and got in highschool

•owns one of those “dubstep, weed and jacking off” shirts

•hes an only child but pim is like a brother to him

•had a family dog growing up and is a dog person overall

pim:

•begs to play roblox when anyone else is playing video games in the office

•curls up into a ball when he sleeps

•also will freak out without a night light

•his room is definitely littered with stuffed animals

•grew up watching mlp (g1) and probably still owns some pony figures

•and says “hello everypony!!” when entering a room

•played a LOT of browser and flash games as a youngster like club penguin and moviestar planet

•genuinely finds beauty in everything i wish i was on his level of joy and whimsey

•would totally listen to vocaloid and would totally go on a super long tangent about how its so cool and holograms are so cool

•also has a collection of light sticks and miku plushies and definitely kisses his miku poster goodnight

•i feel like he ate paint chips as a child

•craves social interaction cuz his parents had a rocky marriage and were neglectful and his sister treated him like shit when they were kids

•his sister would tug on his nerve ending when she got annoyed

•having a rough upbringing and dysfunctional family is what pushed him to start working for smiling friends, hes genuinely passionate about making people smile and just wants to help people who are in bad situations like he was

•prone to panic attacks :(

•sings little songs to calm himself down

•flails his arms or jumps around when hes excited

•still uses pool floaties when swimming lmao

•also still loves to dress up and play pretend as an adult

•mmmmm loves sweets what is a nutritious meal?????

•wore glasses growing up but just kind of stopped for some reason probably cuz his eyes are fucking massive

glep:

•chronic cyberbully-er

•tells people to kts in his gibberish language when they annoy him

•has most likely caused several wars across the globe

•puts whatever he wants on the tv and then hides the remote and watches everyone fight over who took it

•small but lets out the most diabolical burps imaginable

•is fluent in every single language on earth and probably space too

•absolutely brainrotted from that ipad he wont stop watching skibidi toilet

•unties peoples shoes when theyre not paying attention

•little guy has never known sobriety in his life

•has so many random ass pictures and videos saved on his tablet

•hes like a little vlogger

•if someone says or does something he doesnt like he’ll probably hire a hitman on them

•definitely has access to the deep web

•hates gardening but will help allan out with it once in a while for something in return (like a grilled cheese or some weed or something)

•also will sit next to allan while hes cooking so he can eat all the scraps

[redsrooftopprincess]

Drugs HCs

Warnings: alcohol, marijuana, pills, nicotine

@ninnosaurus inspired me, so here's a few headcanons about the boys relationships to intoxicants.

Leo

Alcohol.

Doesn't drink much. A cup of sake with Dad on special occasions, and occasionally he'll have a glass of wine with April if he's over at their apartment, but it slows him down and makes him feel like too many things are out of his control.

Nicotine.

Keeps a pack of cigarettes squirreled away in a hollowed out brick on the roof of the garage. Occasionally, he'll stay out late on patrol and smoke while watching the sunrise before heading inside. Raphael will sometimes join him, especially when they're trying to work something out, either interpersonally or with a mission. Don and Mikey don't know.

Marijuana.

Never. It dulls his senses and makes him slow, sending his anxiety through the roof. Paranoia is a real problem when he smokes weed, so he just doesn't. He also HATES the smell.

Other/Misc.

Used to look at addicts with contempt as weak and lazy, until he got stuck by a needle while stopping a mugging. He never found out what was in that needle, and he wishes he could forget what it felt like, because there's a part of him that would hunt down every dealer in the city to feel that way again. Now he makes a point to drop addicts off in front of rehab facilities instead of police stations.

Raph

Alcohol.

He'll drink pretty much whatever. When given the choice, he's a whiskey guy. Usually neat unless he's got company.

Nicotine.

Had a pretty bad habit as a teen, gave Leo his first cigarette, but has since kicked it. Occasionally he'll have a cigarette with Leo before bed or by himself after a particularly satisfying ass-kicking, but it's by no means a habit.

Marijuana.

Hell. Yes. You mean he *doesn't* have to be in a fuckton of pain, *and* he can get his mind to shut the fuck up for a little while? He doesn't get to do it often, but he'll smoke if he has a night off, or he'll head down the south tunnels and smoke with Mikey if he notices little bro's depression is getting the best of him. He's not shy about smoking in his room. Especially if he's trying to annoy Leo.

Other/Misc.

The healthist of the four when it comes to substances. As a teen, he had a minor substance problem, but he grew out of that. Tried pills once, hoping they would help with his pain, and ended up puking in the bathroom for three hours. He decided the pain was better. Also takes a LOT for anything to effect him.

Donnie

Alcohol.

Microbrews. He makes his own.

Nicotine.

Occasionally. He'll bum one off Raph when he's really stressed out.

Marijuana.

He and Mikey are working on developing a strain that is strong enough for them to not have to smoke an entire bowl, it's more of a brotherly pet project than anything else. He has to test each batch to keep records, of course. Beyond that, he'll occasionally smoke in the lab when he wants to get more creative than logical with what he's working on.

Other/Misc.

Adderall. RARELY, but he keeps a bottle in the lab. He hates the crash, but sometimes his brain just wants to focus on too many things at once, and he needs to work on something important.

Mikey

Alcohol.

Keeps a bottle of Jameson in his room for the nights when his depression is just too loud, so he can drink himself unconscious. It usually takes more than the bottle. Sometimes he's tired enough that he gets lucky. Outside of that he drinks occasionally, but really doesn't like the taste.

Nicotine.

Hates the taste of cigarettes, but owns a hooka and has a great shisha supplier on tap. Will occasionally host hookah sessions with appetizers and drinks when he's feeling super social. Even Splinter joins them occasionally.

Marijuana.

Yes.

Other/Misc.

Has, by far, the most unhealthy relationship with substances and has tried most of the party drugs out there. However, he's got hard limits on the harder drugs. LSD is by far his favorite, but he only takes it once every couple of months.

Bonus! Splinter

Alcohol.

Sake on special occasions, but he really likes this fizzy lemonade drink Michaelangelo handed him once while at a party. Occasionally one happens to appear in, and then disappear from, the refrigerator. The boys don't ask questions.

Nicotine.

Cigarettes are a hard no. The smell sticks to his fur and he hates it. If the boys smoke he makes them shower as soon as they come inside. He will, however smoke hookah with company when he's feeling up to it.

Marijuana.

Mikey convinced him to try it for his arthritis. He smokes in the evening before bed. Leo doesn't say anything.

Other/Misc.

He knows. Of course he knows. However, he only recently discovered Michelangelo's drinking problem. He is currently meditating on the best way to approach him about it.

...

Tag list:

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @footninja

[xileonaaaa]

HAIIIIII :3 ‼️ could you write some hcs abt ino takuma x f!reader :D plsss ??

that’d be much appreciated, ty <3

Aweeee I love the pic so much. 💕 (I got carried away, but I hope you enjoy.)

Thinking of Ino who meets you during a trip to Nanami’s favorite bakery…

✦•┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑ ┈┈┈┈•✦

──★ ˙

Ino!Takuma who’s the type of guy who swears up and down that he’ll never get into a relationship because how stressful it seems. (He watched too many of those depressing, heartbroken Instagram reels.)

Ino!Takuma whose the type of guy that genuinely appreciates all forms of beauty, he isn’t picky at all. If a person happens to look good, he isn’t afraid to walk up to them, and compliment them.

Ino!Takuma who literally felt like a totally different person when he noticed your presence. The over confident, and usually social guy actually found himself shying away from the bakery’s main window as he caught a glimpse of you peering in at the pastries from the outside. (You were beyond gorgeous, and he couldn’t help but gawk at the sight of your curious form gazing around the transparent glass.)

Ino!Takuma who quickly looked away when he met your gaze for the first time, his face radiating with heat as he shoved his beanie down over his forehead, and fumbled for his phone to use as a distraction.

Ino!Takuma who found himself desperately wanting to sink back into his own skin the moment he heard the door chime jingle as it opened.

Ino!Takuma who watched you peer around at the different pastries on display, obviously wanting to get a closer look at the ones you couldn’t see very well from outside.

Ino!Takuma who didn’t even hear the poor baker that was working the register, call his name saying that Nanami’s order was ready for pickup. (She had to say ‘Excuse me sir’ like four times.)

Ino!Takuma who quickly tore his eyes away from you once he realized that the lady was calling for him. He apologized profusely, and couldn’t help but chuckle and rub at his nape, as the woman gave him an all knowing smile.

Ino!Takuma who dismissed the unspoken accusations, just telling her that he only thought you were pretty, but didn’t want to bother you.

Ino!Takuma who waved the clerk a polite goodbye, before hastily turning around and running straight into you.

Ino!Takuma who was obviously stunned at the sudden interaction, but thankfully didn’t freeze, and was able to catch you in time with one arm before you fell.

Ino!Takuma who helped you gain your balance before hastily apologizing, and asking if you were okay. He was shocked the first time he ever heard your voice, all light hearted as you let a small laugh escape your lips. (He thought you were gonna curse at him to watch where he was going or something. Why? He doesn’t even know himself.)

Ino!Takuma who shared a laugh with you, as you murmured something about how his move to save you from falling mimicked something straight out of a Disney movie.

Ino!Takuma who felt a little bummed when your interaction was cut short by a phone call from Nanami asking where he was, and what was taking him so long.

Ino!Takuma who gave you a nervous smile, before waving goodbye, and darting out of that small bakery. (He knows it was a wuss move to use Nanami’s call as an excuse to get away, but what could he do? He wasn’t feeling like his normal, chill self, instead he felt all nervous, and anxious. How strange.)

Ino!Takuma who spent the entire week thinking about the pretty girl he’d met at the small bakery that Nanami usually frequented. He’d been thinking about going back there for the longest, but he felt like he never really had a proper excuse to. (Nanami was back on schedule, so he didn’t need Ino to pick up his lunch for him.)

Ino!Takuma who mustered up the courage to drop by the bakery without an order from Nanami to pick up. It’d been two weeks since he’d last been there, and when he walked in, he was surprised to see you nestled up by a front window, typing away at your computer.

Ino!Takuma who’d spent the better half of an hour in his car, hyping himself up, and running through possible conversation dialogues, found himself at a complete, and utterly loss after he’d told the clerk that he wasn’t here to pick up Nanami’s usual.

Ino!Takuma who nearly leapt out of his skin when he heard your smooth, tired voice echo from behind him, as he saw your hand scoot your empty coffee cup towards the clerk.

Ino!Takuma who stole a glance at you, as you waited for your refill. He wondered if you still remembered him, just as vividly as he remembered you. (He got his answer when you teased him about not bumping into you again, because this time you had coffee.)

Ino!Takuma who stuttered for the very first time since 2nd grade, as he quietly asked for a recommendation from you.

Ino!Takuma who turned to face you, as he observed your facial expressions while you pondered. (You spilled out a few pastries that were your personal favorites, and he repeated everything to the clerk, claiming that he wanted to try them all to broaden his palate.)

Ino!Takuma who found that conversing with you wasn’t as hard as it seemed, and you even invited him back to sit at your table. (He was so nervous, but he agreed, and the two of you talked for hours, all while he tried out the pastries you’d recommended to him. The conversation ranging from Anime, to your job, and other interests.)

Ino!Takuma who walked you out to your car when it was time for you to go. (He really didn’t want to part ways, and you somehow caught on to his dejected aura. After bidding you a goodnight, he turned to walk away, but you called out to him, and told him that you were always in this bakery, and if he stopped by, maybe the two of you could hang out like this again. He agreed almost immediately.)

Ino!Takuma who took you up on your offer, and visited that bakery every single day, just to talk to you. (The more he conversed with you, the more open, and overall relaxed he became.)

Ino!Takuma who established a good relationship with you, even going so far as to calling you his “bakery buddy”.

Ino!Takuma who happened to walk into the small bakery a bit earlier than he usually did, one particular morning, and caught sight of some guy and his friends trying to get your number.

Ino!Takuma whose initial reaction was to freeze by the door, and just watch the whole thing go down, found himself feeling a bit nervous. (Not because of the guys of course, he was just worried that you’d actually take them up on their offer to exchange contacts. After all, they were good looking, all of them had on stuff that was more expensive than the custom rims he liked to buy for his car. They literally outclassed him in every possible way.)

Ino!Takuma who released the biggest sigh of relief when he heard you politely turn them down, and return your focus back to your computer. (He’d never seen you act so coldly, and he wondered if you despised those types of stuck up guys.)

Ino!Takuma who felt his eye twitch in anger as he heard one of them murmur a slur under his breath, and another call you a bitch.

Ino!Takuma who had to hold his own self back as he nearly swung a punch towards one of the guys who was talking the most smack. He had to keep reminding himself that it wasn’t exactly his place to do that. (He wasn’t your boyfriend or anything, so all he could afford to do was stare them down as they squeezed past him to leave out the bakery door with a look that could kill.

Ino!Takuma who followed them with his eyes until they were completely out of sight, before deciding to finally walk up to the counter to order his usual. (He was so pissed, he didn’t even notice that you were watching him. It was only when he got his chocolate filled croissant and a cup of coffee, that he finally turned around, and saw you gawking at him.)

Ino!Takuma whose demeanor immediately switched as he flashed you a nervous grin before walking over to your usual table. Your eyes never left him, and Ino could feel little bits of perspiration dripping down his back. (He didn’t have to be a genius to know that you’d seen his whole mood switch just seconds ago.)

Ino!Takuma who kept telling himself to let his angered and annoyed feelings go, but just couldn’t.

Ino!Takuma who, as much as he wanted to enjoy your teasing about his strange behavior, he found that the more the conversation dragged on about those guys, the angrier he got by the second.

Ino!Takuma who felt his initial anger completely melt into that of pure shock when he heard what you asked him next. (“If you’re so angry about those guys hitting on me, why not do something about it? Yknow, to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”)

Ino!Takuma who literally stared at you like his brain short-circuited or something. (It literally did.)

Ino!Takuma who stuttered for the second time since 2nd grade, horribly stumbling over his words as he tried his best to ask you out on a date. (You chuckled at his flustered state, and happily said yes.)

Ino!Takuma who couldn’t help but dwell in his own embarrassment the moment he got back to his car, dragging his beanie down over his eyes, and groaning into his hands. (He’d made sure to walk you to your car, and nearly sprinted away the moment you said goodnight. He didn’t understand how you were able to keep your cool so well. Why was he the one always left so flustered after every interaction. Everything you did just seemed so effortless to him.)

Ino!Takuma who had to give himself a pep talk the next day to even be able to get out his car. (He’d been sitting there in the bakery’s parking lot for the past 20 minutes, trying to work up the confidence to talk to you again. He’d embarrassed himself so badly yesterday.)

Ino!Takuma who finally entered through the bakery’s doors, to find you already looking over at him. (He was so tempted to turn around and leave, because damn you were so pretty.)

Ino!Takuma who didn’t even bother going up to the register to order his usual. Instead, he bidded you a good morning, before plopping down in his usual seat. Unlike what he was so worried about, conversation between the two of you sparked up almost immediately, and he completely forgot about his initial embarrassment.

Ino!Takuma who spent the entire day with you in that bakery, just like he always did. Admiring you, as you talked a little bit about anything and everything.

Ino!Takuma who walked you to your car like always, but stopped you when you were about to get in.

Ino!Takuma who whipped out his phone, and timidly asked for your number. (As you were typing it in, he just would not shut up about why he needed your number. Rambling on and on, about the most random things, until you handed his phone back, pressing it into his chest.)

Ino!Takuma who shut up immediately, before bidding you goodnight, and walking off in the direction of his car. (What you couldn’t see was the enormous blush that spread all the way to the tips of his ears.)

Ino!Takuma who texted you first, telling you who he was. (He forgot you saved his number.)

Ino!Takuma who set up a date with you, not once mentioning where the two of you were going. (He sucked at planning, and had to ask Nanami to help him.)

Ino!Takuma who anxiously awaited the day of your scheduled meeting time, pulling up to your place almost a whole hour early.

Ino!Takuma who nearly gawked at your outfit, when you finally emerged from your front door.

Ino!Takuma who jumped out of the drivers seat, to jog over to open the passenger door for you.

Ino!Takuma whose first date was the skating rink. (He was a pro at skating, and even though you sucked pure ass, he was always by your side, effortlessly picking you up, and making sure that you never once fell, not hard at least.)

Ino!Takuma who then took you out to eat some delicious food. (He was not one for fancy restaurants, as unlike Nanami, he loved greasy food.)

Ino!Takuma who then took you out to one of his favorite spots on the beach, so you could relax your sore feet in the warm, wet sand.

Ino!Takuma who was elated when you said yes to another date, and immediately got to work on planning another outing with you.

Ino!Takuma who was always a joy, and a breath of fresh air to be with. He wasn’t all uptight, and sophisticated, nor was he a lazy bum. He was perfect, and it wasn’t very surprising when you didn’t even let him finish his sentence when he asked you be his girlfriend.

Ino!Takuma who then started driving over to your place to hang out, bringing along your usual coffee and pastries from the bakery with him.

Ino!Takuma who’s favorite pastime was bickering with you about who was the strongest anime character in history, and who could beat who in a fight with no powers.

Ino!Takuma who’d call you whenever he missed you, always telling you that he loved you. (He literally sounds like beast boy from teen titans whenever you answer. Always saying, “Hey Mama!” The moment he hears your beautiful voice.)

Ino!Takuma who’s a complete softie, and unlike how he was before the two of you started dating, he’s very direct about how he feels.)

Ino!Takuma who really loves you with everything he’s got, and has completely changed his view on relationships.

[hinduhijabi2]

Hindu boi -> Fat Hijabi Sissy Sow

As a fat Hindu boi, I never had any future, since in the MNWO, I couldn’t get a job, and no girl thought of me as a man. This made me depressed and I started eating a lot. But the food that I was eating was the ration provided by the MNWO. Since the advent of MNWO, food was plenty, and was given freely to everyone, but the food given to us Hindus was lower quality high fat food. This meant that I got fat very quickly. That is when I observed that all the Muslim men had started looking at me differently; almost like they were preying on me. This gave me mixed feelings, since I was scared, but it also made me hard down there. One of the Muslim guys: Mohammad even wanted to become my friend, so I agreed. We started hanging out regularly, but he used to get too physical, like he would tackle me and pick me up; despite my heavy weight. He’d also grope me a lot.

Then one day, he gifted me a scarf. He said, he saw it and thought of me, so wanted to give it to me. I was so touched, and he even offered to tie it around my head, so I let him do it. He wrapped it around my head, and when I saw my reflection, I fell in love with it. The soft fabric framed my face so well, and made me look so good; no, not good, but beautiful and pretty. I looked so dainty. And when I turned to look at Mohammad, I saw him in an entirely new light; I could see him for what he was: tall, dark, handsome and absolutely masculine; a total contrast to my dainty feminine self. I felt shy and submissive against his imposing presence. I wanted to submit to him then and there, and wanted to be taken by him, and be made into a true woman.

Mohammad must have read my mind, for he picked me up and started vigorously kissing me. He took me into the bed room where he made me suck his large cock for a good 15 minutes before he ruthlessly rammed it up my bum. I never knew it would be so painful, I screamed and started crying, begging for him to stop but Mohammad where not going to stop, he kept on raping my ass until it was so loose that I stopped feeling any pain. I lay there almost lifeless, on the verge of passing out. I thought I was ready for it, but he made me understand I was far from being a Muslim Woman; HIS Muslim Woman. But he fucked me until I started feeling pleasure and came twice on his cock before he filled me up with his seed.

He must have activated my dormant eggs deep within my anal cavity (the famous golden mother phenomenon), as I started gaining weight and soon came to know that I was pregnant. Hearing this, we were both so happy, and he proposed me to be his wife. All that was 10 years ago, and since then, I have become his full time wife and mother to his children. I know I have gained a lot more weight, but hey, remember, my fat ass was exactly what attracted Mohammad to me, and as it grows fatter, he fucks be even better; something about me screaming like a fat little piggy sow when he fucks me turns him on even more. Well, as long as he is happy!!

[the-hopeless-haze]

Worried About You

Chapter 4 of If You Want It, You Can Bleed On Me (House x reader)

“I need Vicodin,” Greg says to you, walking into your office. Well. Your office when you were here. You scowl slightly at the day-old coffee in your line of vision and think about how you’ll be scolded by the other people you share the office with the rest of the week when you inevitably forget that it’s there.

“Funny. I’m not your dealer,” you say.

You and Greg had hit it off, so to speak. Much to everyone’s chagrin and surprise, you continued seeing each other inside and outside the hospital. It wasn’t something either of you spoke about. Psychiatrists (or psychiatric doctors of nursing) are the worst patients and the best repressors. You did what you had to to be able to function like a member of society, but you were as fucked up as the rest of them. And you see Greg is similar. USA-renowned, if not world-renowned, diagnostician—but that was all he had besides a bum leg and a healthy dose of chronic depression and reliance on opiates to function.

When you finally had sex -heterosexual sex, dick in pussy sex - it was a frenzy fueled by alcohol and weeks long of teasing, and you saw glimpses of his leg in the midst of it and he saw the scars scattering your arms, but beyond the “oh, so you tried to kill yourself” he said to you when he edged you on the brink of orgasm the umpteenth time (and oh, boy, was that a mood killer) there were no comments about either.

But he kept you around and you weren’t entirely certain of why. It’s only been a month or so, and he’s not calling you his girlfriend or telling you he loves you, but he’ll still wine and dine you before railing you. And you don’t know if it’s out of obligation, if he feels like even though you’re not a hooker he has to pay you for sex, or if he genuinely enjoys your company. You think about how dissimilar you are to Wilson and how that’s the only person he keeps close. You wonder if maybe you remind him of his live-in ex that you’re almost certain he never got over. It’s a good time though, regardless. You make each other laugh. You both love The Rolling Stones. You begrudgingly agreed to be dragged to a monster truck show one night (“Wilson won’t come with me” he whined) and in return you made him go with you to see a local band perform that he wasn’t the slightest bit interested in.

It was that sacrificing that made you pretty close to a real couple. Wilson pointed it out to you and he no doubt pointed it out to Greg. You made a snarky comment about his marriage and you wonder if you should compare notes with Greg to make sure you’re both not using the same lines.

You don’t know why you keep him around either, so it’s fair. It’s nice to have a fuck buddy, you suppose, and it’s also nice to almost like them as a human being rather than a sex toy. It’s certainly not because you think you can cure him, because you know you can’t. You wanted sex and you didn’t want a rehash. All things considered, he was a thorough lover and cared about getting you off as much as himself, which somewhat surprised you given how selfish he can be in other settings.

It’s not a bad arrangement. At least not right now.

But you’re fucked and you know it. It’s why you were drawn to work with kids in the first place. At least you’d always have a leg up on them. Someone out there thought you were sane enough to be rent an apartment and be a licensed prescriber.

Oh. Speaking of.

“Come on. You have a license to prescribe. Just once,” he begs.

“Yeah. No. I think you’ve got me confused with Wilson.”

“You’re much hotter,” he offers.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“It got you in my bed.”

You smirk, shaking your head. “Yeah. Fair. But that’s as far as it’ll get you. You can be lackadaisical with your license, but I’d like to keep mine until I want to retire.”

“How’d I get with such a goody-two-shoes? Even Wilson will play.”

“He’s not now, apparently. What gives?”

“I bet Cuddy clinic hours that I wouldn’t take Vicodin for a week. They’re all convinced I’m an addict.”

You snort. “Okay. I hate to point it out so bluntly, but this is prime behavior for addiction. Searching all channels to get a fix because you can’t go a week without it?”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah. Okay. I’m going to do the week. But I need someone on standby. I’m only doing the week, and I don’t know that I’ll be able to get it prescribed afterward.”

“Chronic pain is outside my scope of practice. Best I could do is a suboxone MAT and say I’m detoxing you off Vicodin and keeping your substance use in check, but even that’s pushing it. There’s a conflict of interest.”

“You can’t keep the clinical and the personal separate?”

“Nope. Could you? If I was your patient this week, would you be able to? Bringing your ex-girlfriend into this is what got you into this mess. Don’t bring me in to try to fix it.”

“I’m not asking you to fix it. And you have a medical background. I’m asking you to write the order I’m asking for. I know how to manage my pain.”

“Why don’t you get through this week first? Then maybe you’ll take me up on the suboxone,” you say, crossing your arms.

“You think I’m addicted?”

“Jesus Christ, Greg, you’re smarter than this. You know what happens if you consistently take opiates. I know you need them for pain. I’m not denying that. But to think you’re immune to the side effects? It’s habit-forming. You know this. You’ve been taking it for years. You’re going to have withdrawal symptoms. You should be doing this in a detox facility if anything.”

“I work in a hospital. Opiate withdrawal never killed anyone, anyway,” he says, seeing no point in bluffing to you any longer.

“Maybe not. But you’ll suffer. I’ll meet you halfway, hm?” You say, looking up at him. “I’ll prescribe you comfort meds for the week. Ease you through it. Mirapex, vistaril, zofran, clonidine, bentyl…”

“Most of those aren’t exactly in your scope. If you want to be technical.”

“If I lose my license for any of those the board has far too much time on their hands. But you’re right. I’ll get Chase to sign them off.”

“Chase?”

“He’s the most desperate to get laid out of the three. I bat my eyelashes enough he won’t even question who the scripts are for.”

“Chase? Look at him. If he’s not getting laid none of us should be.”

You scoff. “I guess pretty boys do it for you, but not for me. But no…I can tell. He reeks of desperation.”

“It’s desperation to be liked by authority. Not desperation for pussy. He’s swimming in it.”

“Okay. We’ll see if he folds,” you say, winking.

Greg sighs. “Is this some kind of game?”

“What isn’t, with you? It’s all games, it’s all puzzles.”

“Why Chase?”

“I told you. I know you’d rather me go to Cameron, but unfortunately, I don’t think flirting would get very far with her. Foreman will never fold.”

“You don’t have other doctors you work with you could ask?”

“Greg, it’s just fucking comfort medications that you probably will have too much pride to even touch. Again. Not risking my career for you and letting people that actually respect me think I’m a nutcase because I slept with you.”

“So… you want to fuck Chase. Right?”

“Where in that insecure little man brain did you think of that? It’s your other head, right? I must want the sexy Australian because all the other girls are doing him? Because I want to ask him to prescribe meds? For you?”

He shrugs. “Matter of time. ‘Oh, I had to blow him, that’s the only way I could get him to do this’ or ‘oh, honey, good news, he said if I sleep with him three times a week he’ll prescribe your Vicodin’.”

“Stop with the immature bullshit. If I wanted to fuck him, I’d just leave you, not worry about the meds, and do it. Grow up, Greg,” you mutter, walking away.

“Then why don’t you?” he challenges, hating himself as the words leave his mouth, hating how unattractively juvenile he was coming across. But there were reasons, the need to push you away to see if he would get pulled back, the need to be contrary, the need to know. Know what, exactly, he’s not sure.

He already knows he’s in for one of the worst weeks of his life. Even if the withdrawal symptoms are mild, he’s going to be in terrible, unmanageable pain, and all the Tylenol and Motrin in the world aren’t going to even come close to touching it. And he’s going to be more miserable than usual. No pain relief. No euphoria from the high when he takes just one… or two… or three extra than he needs. He knows he’s addicted. He tries to roll it off his back, saying it doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t change perceptions of him, it’s something he needs for pain, and it doesn’t affect his ability to practice medicine.

But sometimes he’s afraid. When James looks at him in concern but doesn’t offer any solutions because there aren’t any real ones, are there? He needs opiates for pain. Nothing else will work. Whether it’s pure heroin or your gold-standard synthetic hippy bullshit medication-assisted treatment… it’s still an opiate. Naloxone embedded in the pill or not. Having to go to a clinic to get dosed and having to have checks and balances on his use or not. It’s still an opiate. There’s still a stigma. It still pinpoints his pupils, lowers his respiratory rate, and hopefully, hopefully, takes the edge off so he can function but he knows. Addiction isn’t his specialty, he never wanted it to be, but he knows. One day it’ll be his last Vicodin, or the Vicodin won’t work anymore, and hey, you know what’s instantaneous? Spinal morphine. Can only use that card once or twice, have to tell Wilson he’s in excruciating pain and guilt him into enabling. He’ll only go so far. And then…well, then it’s IV heroin or fentanyl, whichever is easier to get, whichever is cheaper.

Greg knows that addiction treatment centers are revolving doors. He knows that you saw the same people back and forth and back and forth sign in and sign out, sign in and sign out. Change their medication plans a million times. And some of them still died anyway.

He’s afraid. He’s afraid of dying by his own hand by accident, alone and blue, nodding off forever. Sometimes he wishes for it, an end to the pain, but he also doesn’t want people to find him like that. A predictable end to a predictable story. World-renowned diagnostician died the same way a poor broke junkie did on the streets. Hooked on drugs, overshot it.

And it’s not that he thinks he’s better than those people. He knows he is those people. Even prior to his disability he dabbled in drugs, never enough to create a habit but enough to definitely indicate the potential of a problem. He’d tried almost every illicit substance “just to see how it felt” by your age. It feels good. Drugs feel good. It’s how they work. And your brain wants to feel good. It’s how they keep working and you keep using.

He knows. He’s in a vicious cycle he’ll never claw his way out of.

And you know it, too.

And yet you’re wasting your time fighting with him instead of walking away.

Why?

He doesn’t know that.

“Yeah. Why don’t I fuck him?” you snark back, turning on your heel and walking back toward him, drawing him out of his pity party and back into the misery he created for no reason other than to drag you down with him, make you choke on it with him. “I don’t want to. That’s why. I want to fuck you, although believe me, that thought is getting less and less appealing every time you open that fucking mouth and speak.”

“It does have better uses,” he quips, shrugging, almost visibly relaxing at hearing he was chosen, that he hadn’t scared you off yet.

You roll your eyes. “When does the detox start?”

“Now. It’s been a couple of hours.”

“So you wanted to kick it off and try to put both of us in a shitty mood to start with? Not your brightest idea, huh?” you ask.

He doesn’t say anything and you nod, feeling slightly more in control now that you rendered him silent without any arguments. “Go home. You can’t think clearly if you’re going to be actively detoxing.”

“I still have to make them think I can function without it,” he says after pausing. He would’ve lied to you too, put up a façade with you too, but that’s the thing about addiction. It’s easy to hide dependence to people who don’t know what to look for, but you do. And you would smell it on him.

“I thought you didn’t care what people think?”

“I don’t.”

“Then why take the bet at all?”

“I’ll get out of clinic hours.”

“Right. You would never do something like this to prove a point,” you say sarcastically, leading him out of the office. —————- “Why are you with him?” Chase asks. “And you care enough about him to ask me to use my medical license for a script.”

“You’ll see I don’t care enough about him to risk using mine,” you counter. “It’s comfort meds. Just write the scripts and I’ll leave you alone and we can go back to never talking, which is honestly how I prefer it.”

“I’ve done nothing to you.”

“Right,” you mutter. “I’ve heard enough, though.”

“Does he… what does he say about me?” he asks, a look between bewildered and terrified crossing his face.

You laugh, shaking your head. “Forget I said anything. You’re fine, I’m sure, I just don’t want to be entangled in the team. I already work with Wilson. One facet of House’s life needs to be separate from me.”

“Right. So you’re asking me to prescribe him medications.”

“As a doctor. Which is your job,” you point out. You sigh, looking at the pretty blond man sitting in front of you. Maybe Greg was right to be afraid. Most women your age would be begging to spread their legs at the thought of carrying this man's children. He's more stable, at least comes off that way, and he doesn't have an addiction and a crippled leg.

“Why stay with him if you know he’s an addict?”

Why are you staying?

You look at him for a second, reading his face. “You hate people that struggle with addiction, don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t say I hate them. I just think they don’t realize the pain they cause and it’s unfair to the sober people in their life.”

“Everyone is someone’s burden,” you say.

But why did you take him on?

“So you think he’s going to detox.”

“I know he’s going to detox. Which is why. Once again. I’m asking you to prescribe him comfort medication for the aforementioned detox.”

“You guys really like each other, huh?”

Why did he take you on?

“No. I want my week to not be miserable. This might lessen it a little bit.”

“Oh, and you’re deflecting just like he would.”

“Just prescribe me the damn meds, Chase.”

“You’re going to be miserable anyway,” he says, shrugging as he takes out his script pad. “You owe me one.”

You know he's not wrong.

“Yeah. You’ll get a psych consult on the house,” you agree.

“Why’d you ask me?”

You sigh. “Can’t ask Wilson. Too close. So it had to be one of you three. Foreman just wouldn’t. Cameron would ask me too many questions and she’d tell everybody.”

“And me?”

“Process of elimination, really. Thank you, you know," you say, deciding to leave out the part where he gets off on sucking metaphorical dick for the chance at appealing to authority. Sometimes you wish you were as crass as House. You come up with some good ones if you could only find the guts to just say them.

“He’s not going to take them.”

“Probably not. But I’m doing my part.”

“As what? His girlfriend?”

“His… friend,” you clarify, and you walk out of the office with the scripts in tow to fill at the pharmacy. Later you hand them to him and he takes them without a word. He opens all the bottles, takes one of each pill in his hand and he pops them dry. Terrible for his esophagus, you tell him, and he mutters something about how he’s wrecked his liver and everything else has to catch up. He opens a bottle of wine and you lean against his chest, barely processing the cheap soap opera flashing in front of you on the TV. He's already sweating, you can feel his shirt damp against your cheek. You don’t know why you’re here. You don’t know why he made a show of taking all those pills in front of you. Maybe to show your efforts were appreciated without having to say the words, even if he thought it was stupid. Maybe it was a desperate attempt to make this all suck less. Maybe it was because this was bending the rules a little, a detox with help, however minor, and he always wanted to see how far he could push before the consequences could roll in. Let’s cheat a little. Instead of a slice of pizza on a diet let’s have a hydroxyzine in a cold turkey detox.

He asked you to come over tonight but he hasn’t said much of anything or initiated much either. Why does he want you here? To know he’s not alone this time, that you’re willing to face the brunt of this pain with him when it returns, like Stacy was unwilling to?

You don’t know.

You don’t want to know. It’s best he keeps that information in his own head where it belongs. You don’t want to get too attached, too close, too entangled. This is fine how it is.

But you still wake up drenched in sweat that isn’t yours.

[kokomyass]

Megumi Fushiguro ☆ Overwork

Megumi x Fem!Reader

Genre: 🥀/☁️

Word Count: 2673

Trigger warnings ⚠️: a bit of swearing, themes of overworking to the point it is damaging. depression, some gore and violence.

synopsis: in which, you begin to overwork, hope to repay megumi for all the times he's saved you, but things don't turn out good...

hey ya'll!! this is a request from the sweetest person alive who dm me just to say my Megumi content was good so love you lots @bqvs !! 💜💜🎵🎵

anyways I hope you enjoy!! mwah!

also I haven't edited cause im a lazy bum :P

Second Person POV

All your life, you had felt lesser than everyone else. No matter what you did you would feel like you weren't good enough for anyone.

However, instead of being the type of person to sit around and wait for something to magically happen, you would work towards what you wanted, even if it meant losing sleep and your health being at an all time low.

Obviously things did not change when you joined Jujutsu Tech…yes, there were way less students which helped, but the students were also exceptionally strong, you felt like a puny little shrimp compared to them. Especially Megumi.

When you first joined you were really laid back, you really got along with Megumi, Yuji and Nobara but of course you had to mess up on your first mission together.

Which resulted in you being saved by Megumi and it seems being saved by Megumi was a common occurrence (by common occurrence you mean every mission)

Of course, you ended up falling hard for Megumi after all the times he acted as your Knight in shining armour along with his redeeming qualities. You also envied him and wanted to be as strong as he was and make him acknowledge you and maybe even love you…

As much as you liked Megumi, you were getting more depressed each day. You were completely and utterly useless compared to him. It seemed that Gojo also noticed you struggling a bit more than the others…so he began pairing you with stronger sorcerers to protect you and even then you would be pretty useless there too.

So in the end, not only are you spending less time with Megumi, but also being basically useless on all your missions.

No matter how hard you worked, you wouldn't improve. No one even notice the amount of effort you were putting in.

Usually you would hang out with all the students, especially Megumi, you were used to putting a facade on. Pretending that you weren't depressed and low…but even masking that was becoming difficult.

You had lost weight from not eating properly, you were always tired, you had lost your usual energy and you were extremely slow and sluggish, which further impacted your performance in missions.

You had been sent on a mission by Gojo to defeat a curse with Nanami. Yet another mission with an adult…

"Y/N, you think you will be alright on this one?" Gojo asked seemingly noticing something was wrong too.

You sighed, but immediately tried to put up a fake smile. In all honesty last night you were training so much that you didn't get any sleep and had to drink about 5 cups of coffee to keep you awake.

"Yep! When will I be able to go on a mission with Megumi again…"

You missed spending time with Megumi incredibly.

"Soon! Anyways off you guys go!" Gojo waved you off as you and Nanami began your trip.

You had been on many missions with Nanami (mainly due to protection reasons) so he knew you well, which also meant he knew something was wrong.

"Y/N, are you well and able to do this mission?" you were walking behind Nanami dragging your feet from tiredness as his question made you perk up slightly.

"I'm fine! I'm actually feeling much better I think I'll be more useful today!" you laughed.

That was all a lie. You felt like shit. But, knowing Nanami, if he knew that he wouldn't let you try at all.

When you found the curse and began fighting it, your tiredness made you weak and slow. You were barely dodging the attacks. At some points, you would shut your eyes and they wouldn't open again.

"Y/N! Fall back! Stop fighting! You will get hurt!"

Nanami's warnings went over your head as you went in for another attack. You felt a sharp pain in your side. You looked down to see your side stabbed and blood spreading through your clothes. Your breathing hitched as you fell to the ground with a thud, everything going black around you.

All in all, Nanami defeated the curse and you were just another failure.

When you both made it back to Jujutsu Tech. You had been treated by Ieiri (who had grown accustomed to seeing you) and you were resting in the infirmary.

Megumi POV

I know something is wrong with Y/N.

The day she joined I felt an unusual attraction to her. The way she smiles regardless of the situation and the kindness she shows to everyone around her…

Y/N is the closest anyone has gotten to me and I do have feelings for her as much as I want to deny it.

However, I've seen her health plummeting, she sleeps in class sometimes, constant injuries after missions…something wasn't right and I knew it even if no one else did.

One night, I heard constant banging noises and when getting up to find out what it was I saw Y/N, punching her punching bag like there was no tomorrow.

Her knuckles were bleeding, each hit she gave her legs quivered from tiredness, her heavy breathing sounded as if she was having a heart attack. My heart clenched to see her in this state.

Why is she working herself to this extent? Why is she doing harm to herself? That was when I truly knew something was wrong.

After the mission she went on with Nanami I decided to go and speak to Nanami myself to find out what he thinks, but to my suprise he approached me first.

"Megumi, I have been looking for you. Have you seen Y/N yet?"

"No? Why?"

Nanami sighed as if he was struggling to say something.

"She sustained an injury when we went on our mission, she got stabbed in the side. But her condition is stable and Shoko has treated her."

My eyes widened as a lump formed in my throat. How could she be so reckless? Before I could run off, Nanami stopped me.

"Megumi, please find out what us wrong with Y/N because I fear next time the injury she sustains might not be so treatable…"

I nodded, I agreed with Nanami. I ran as fast as I could to the infirmary. Whatever she was doing was putting her life in jeopardy….

Second Person POV

"Megumi is never going to like me…" you mumbled looking down as suddenly the same person runs in.

"Y/N! Are you okay?! What happened!" Megumi came in shouting. He look horrified as if you had died.

Even though it shouldn't have, your heart fluttered at the thought of Megumi worried about you.

He placed his hands on the sides of your arms making sure not to be to aggressive. You smiled softly at him as much as you could despite the sharp pain in your side.

"I'm okay, I just got caught in an attack but Ieiri said I'll be fine!" you giggled and placed a hand on Megumi's head, ruffling his hair as he sat down on the chair next to the bed sighing.

"Well, next time be more careful because if your not something bad will happen, okay?" Megumi placed his hand on yours making you blush slightly.

"I'll be fine, don't worry, I'll be stronger soon too!" you lifted up your arm and flexed as a joke as Megumi smiled slightly, still looking perturbed.

"Y/N, we need to ta-"

Before Megumi could finish his sentence Nobara and Yuji burst in dramatically.

"Y/N!!!!! What happened!!" Yuji said as Nobara was checking every inch of your face to make sure you were okay.

"I'm fine, just a bit tired…" you all talked about random stuff as Megumi stayed silent and distant.

Truth was, you were very very tired and you hadn't fully recovered but you needed to start working again if you wanted to catch up to Megumi and be the girl he wants, and just like that the evening arrived and you were sneaking out to go and train.

You practiced with your jaw clenched the whole time to reduce the pain you felt in your side everytime you moved, but it was worth it. All for Megumi, and to be able to protect him like he has done to you.

Time Skip

It was morning and you were walking at snails pace to find Gojo to ask if you could go on a mission with Megumi.

You made the best poker face you could to hide the pain lingering in every step.

"Gojo! Please can I go on a mission with Megumi." you said smiling as much as you could, griping your bruised and wounded knuckles together to beg him.

"I'm sorry Y/N, but you got injured and until you feel okay I can't send you out…" Gojo said as you immediately came up with a response.

"Gojo sensei, please believe me I feel much better it wasnt a bad injury I've had worse, I promise!" you we practically on the floor but eventually he sighed and said you could go on a mission to fight a 1st grade curse with Megumi.

Despite the pain, you smile a real genuine smile for the first time in a while at the thought of being alone with Megumi and spending time together.

Time Skip!

"Y/N, why are you here? You got injured. Stop over working yourself."

This isn't the way you thought spending time together would go.

Megumi had been telling you off the whole time you walked to your destination as you tried your best to explain that you were fine (which you were not)

"Megumi, I'm fine, I'm just tired."

"You always say that. Do you not sleep?"

Your worst fear was happening. Megumi was becoming suspicious and instead of being honest all you could do is get mad.

"I do…why do you keep asking questions?"

"Because whatever your doing needs to stop….MOVE!"

Before Megumi could finish his sentence the sharp arm of the curse you were meant to fight came between you two nearly stabbing you before Megumi pushed you out of the way.

You tried getting up but your previous injury hindered you from doing that.

"Stay back Y/N! You'll only distract me…" your heart shattered at his words as tears pricked your eyes and you scowled.

"I'm not a distraction, just watch!"

"Y/N! No watch out!"

Before you could even realise what was happening, a large tree branch pierced your stomach as you stared at Megumi with your eyes wide before looking at the branch stuck in you.

Oh how much you regretted everything. You wish you had listened to Megumi. You wish you listen to Nanami. You wish you weren't even born.

You stared into the sky as you looked down at the large tree branch that had gotten stuck in you.

Blood started pooling from your mouth as you recounted all the times you wished you had lived your life more.

You wish you could confess your love to Megumi and get married and have 3 beautiful kids…a smile graced your lips at the thought.

"Well, I think this may be it…"

Everytime you blinked, it felt as if 10 minutes when by.

You heard Megumi shout at you begging you to stay awake as he defeated the curse. You felt him cradle you in his shaking and bloody arms.

"Y/N, just wait someone is coming to get us. Hang in there." You smiled and reached for Megumi's cheek. Even though your vision was blurred you could feel the tear drop from his eyes.

"Please don't cry…" you smiled as you hand started to go limp and you couldn't stay awake any longer.

Time Skip!

You groaned in pain as you awoke to a bright light. You body ached at any slight movement and as your eyes adjusted to the light you realised what had happened and you sat up looking down at your stomach.

You sighed, thankful to still be alive.

Unbeknownst to you, Megumi was sat down next to you, asleep with his arms crossed, under his eyes had a tint of red, most likely from crying.

You put your hands through his hair combing your fingers through it, smiling at the sight of him asleep.

He stirred awake and you removed your hands from his hair. When he awoke he looked shocked to see you awake. He immediately hugged you.

"I thought I lost you…" you could tell he was being careful making sure not to hurt you as your rubbed his back before pulling away.

"I'm not gone quite yet!" you laughed as Megumi gripped his trousers, clenching his fists.

"Y/N, this isn't funny. You nearly died." Megumi looked down mumbling as your smile dropped yet again to see Megumi scolding you.

You placed a hand on his to comfort him, "Megs, look I'm fine and it wasnt even that ba-" Before you could finish he flung his hand away.

"Wasn't that bad?! Don't be stupid…you nearly died! You think I don't see you every night training until your whe body gives out? Or the amount of weight you lost or even the stumbling in your walk from lack of sleep?"

You gasped and squinted at him.

"Were you spying on me, Megumi? So what if I want to train? I'm only trying to better myself, why won't you support me?!"

"I'm not supporting you? Y/N I have always supported you through thick and thin but what could possibly be making you want to work so hard that you get yourself killed?! Tell me, please enlighten me!"

Megumi was stood up at this point and you could see people through the door window but you didn't care. You were hurt.

"You, Megs, it's you! I feel like a useless person who can't do anything right. Every mission we have ever been on you have had to save me and I want to be as strong as you. So forgive me for putting in some effort!" you shouted at him with tears streaming down your face and your voice cracking.

"I love you the way you are Y/N! I have never once looked at you as if you are useless. I think you are funny, smart, cute and the kindest soul alive! Why would I want you to change? You are working youself to death, that's the least I want! I love you!"

Everything was silent as Megumi dropped to his seat cheeks flushed from his angry confession as you stared at him teary eyed.

"You…you love me?" you asked genuinely shocked he could love someone as weak as you.

"Yes Y/N…I have ever since I met you. I never hated you just please stop hurting yourself like this-"

Before Megumi could finish his sentence, you pressed your lips on his. You pressed your palm onto his cheek as his thumb whined away your tears.

You pulled apart, out of breath as you both had a faint blush on your cheeks.

"I love you too Megs." you pressed your body into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you softly.

"Y/N…I will never ever hesitate to save you and I would do it over and over for you."

You smiled and inhaled his scent. A sense of relief washing over you. Something told you that from now on life would be much easier to live…

A lil bonus:

You had recovered and you were at a dessert shop with Megumi for a cute little date.

"Would you save me if I was like…a worm?" you giggled taking a bite of ice cream.

"Well I suppose, I would try to turn you into a human…so yes?"

"You don't sound to sure Megs…I'm feeling quite unconvinced…"

Megumi sighed putting his spoon down.

"I would save you and give your worm body a massive kiss. Happy?"

"Perfect answer!!" you laughed kissing him on the cheek as he just smiled lightly.

i hope you all enjoyed that especially my girly that I wrote it for, I hope you loved it 💜💜🩷🩷