#feel free to make this your personal motivation too
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War of the Roses Series: Part III
Warning: Mention of miscarriages and grief
At first, Bill doesnât understand why youâve taken him to a small courtyard that sits between the barn and the small indoor arena. Itâs not a large area, just a square piece of grass with a few shrubs and flowerbeds. There is a small area surrounded by a low stone wall that has a bench and three rose bushes planted in the corner. Itâs a quiet, thoughtful space that seems out of place with the barn.Â
But then he remembers something from his childhood. It had been raining for three days, not out of the norm in Missouri. His mother had recently returned home from an overnight hospital stay, and he was under strict orders to keep his twelve-year-old bullshit to a minimum. He then watched his father, the toughest son of a bitch he had ever known, go out into the rain and dig a hole in the garden off the back porch. He remembers how his fatherâs white t-shirt clung to his back as he planted a white rose bush. He remembers how his mother couldnât watch from the back porch, and instead curled up in the corner of the couch and sobbed.Â
Itâs a memorial space.Â
He touches the stone wall as you lead him into the space, says a silent prayer for the sister he never got to meet and the three children you were never able to hold. The somberness saps the fire he had been feeling since watching you sit across from him at dinner. For some reason though, standing there with you, knowing what youâre showing him, it feels far more intimate than the moment you shared in the barn.Â
âThis,â you say quietly, âthis is why he hates me.âÂ
âYou would think with the lives we provide them, scenery like this, homes like ours, never wanting for anything, they would be motivated to do their actual fucking jobs.âÂ
Was this what Cal was talking about? Three miscarriages, was that reason enough to divorce someone? You gently take his hand and force him to unclench the fist he had made. âHow can he hate you for something thatâs out of your control?âÂ
You shake your head. âThe world is filled with people who hate other people for things out of their control. Thatâs nothing new, Bill.âÂ
You made a solid point. âHe thinks youâre doing this on purpose?âÂ
âHe does. He only married me so he could have someone to pass everything onto when heâs too old to manage it himself.â Your thumb fiddles with his pinky ring. âThatâs how it works in your world too?âÂ
It should make him uncomfortable that you acknowledge his true line of work but it doesnât. If anything, it seems to pull you even closer to him. âIt is.âÂ
âI know Iâm on my way out of this marriage. He needs someone to provide an heir and Iâm not that person.â You swipe at your face with the back of your free hand and he realizes youâre crying. âI canât do that for you either. So just keep that in mind.âÂ
He pulls you close against his side, holding you firmly there and trying to ignore the feeling of just how fucking perfectly you fit there. âThere are more important things in life than heirs and lineage. There will always be someone to take over a business, blood related or not.â He presses a kiss against the crown of your head. âYou keep that in mind.âÂ
You release a long breath, sinking into him for a moment before standing up straight. He sees the armor being put back into places and it causes something to twinge in his chest. It shouldnât be necessary but he understands why it is. He takes one last moment, standing in this sacred place, and kisses you gently on the lips.Â
âYou call me if you need anything,â he tells you. âDay or night, promise me youâll do that.âÂ
You smile slightly but nod your head. âOkay.âÂ
He knows he needs to head back up to the house, that heâs been gone far too long and his guys will want to get on the road soon. But something is telling him to take you with him, to not leave you here. But youâve survived for the last six years with Cal so he takes some comfort that you can survive another couple weeks before he can make it back to Tulsa.Â
***
When you go back to the house later that night, you go in the back door and take all the back hallways to the master bedroom to avoid Cal. You strip off all your clothes, bury them under your running clothes from this morning and then stand under scalding hot water for twenty minutes. You reluctantly wash Billâs cologne from your skin, wash his fingerprints from your body and it feels wrong.Â
Cal doesnât love you, he hasnât from day one. The realization of that hits you full force. He knows of the rose bushes, the memorial garden that you planted there in the only place on the property that felt like yours. Cal hates the horses, never wants to see them or touch them. He flat out refuses to step foot into the memorial garden you planted and care for.Â
But Bill, who has no stake whatsoever in your plight, came to see the horses, not even knowing you were there. He willingly went to the small garden, stood there, understood the significance of what you were showing him without having to speak the words. He shared that burden of grief with you when your own husband, the father of the lost children, couldnât be bothered with it.Â
You need a plan to get out of this farce of a marriage. You turn the water off in the shower and grab one of the towels. Your mind is racing as you dry off. Youâll need money, clothes, a place to stay, a place for your horses. The roses. Somehow you need to take the roses with you. You canât leave them behind. Cal will forget them. Heâll forget them. You canât let that happen. You pull on your satin pajamas and walk into the bedroom to a sight that makes your blood run cold.Â
Cal is in one of the leather wingback chairs in the sitting area of the bedroom, a whiskey glass in his hand. âDid you have a nice shower?âÂ
Your eyes havenât left the three suitcases sitting at the end of the bed. âCal?âÂ
âI think itâs obvious our agreement has come to an end.âÂ
âAgreement? You mean our marriage?âÂ
âIs that what you would call this? Huh.â He takes a sip of the whiskey. âI was under the impression that a marriage was between two people working towards the same goal. I told you what that goal was when we married.âÂ
âI canâtâŠI donât knowâŠâÂ
âCan you finish a sentence please?âÂ
You take a deep breath and slowly release it. âI donât know what you want me to do about not being able to carry a child. I canât control that.âÂ
He finishes the whiskey and sets the glass down on the side table. âWhat I want you to do is take your shit to whatever other bedroom you wish where you will sleep tonight. Tomorrow morning, you leave with whatâs packed in those suitcases. Youâll get the horses out of the barn as soon as possible because theyâre going to the knacker by the end of the week.âÂ
Your stomach roils to the point that you bring a hand to your mouth. How are you going to find transportation and a place for your horses in four days? Itâs going to cost thousands of dollars and youâre certain Cal isnât giving you any portion of the estate.Â
âIâm going to take a shower now and when I walk out of there, I donât want to see you in this room again.â Cal stands up and walks past you. âAnd as far as things that you can control goes, perhaps you shouldnât have fucked my new business partner in a fucking barn.â
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personal motivation
#persona 5#persona 5 fanart#persona#persona fanart#goro akechi#persona 5 akechi#p5 akechi#what are his other tags....#i havent seen him in this image format so#i made a specially personal one#because i love him and my hes running around my head rn so i had to draw him#feel free to make this your personal motivation too#OH and also because i figured i should draw him seriously instead of chibi form lol#about time i figure out how to draw his hair in my style
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Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a âpanic attackâ (this was after months of him talking about how he didnât like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASEâŠ#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL⊠she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly heâs acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ââstoleââ him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]ââ because heâs been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovahâs witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc weâre sort of mutuals. i doubt heâs looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc sheâ#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i donât want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope youâre proud
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You know, capitalism is another one of those words that sadly is like problematic in that it's functionally useless because people just toss it out and then everyone gets so hung up debating the meaning of the word capitalism that the whole point is lost
That's why I don't ever really use it. It doesn't really matter if it's capitalism or if it's cronyism or... whatever, I think it's bad when companies make record profits while prices go up up up
I think there's probably an issue and it probably needs to be solved (and I'm afraid you can't convince me less regulation is a magic bullet)
I like currency and exchanging currency because it seems like a good way of moving goods and labor around, but I also strongly support welfare and think that any group of more than 50 people is probably starting to get corrupt
Don't trust the government, but sure as hell don't trust corps...
I don't know, my original point is that sadly capitalism gets tossed around too much to mean anything anymore... but I just see too many argumentative people online so I'm tossing out my stances to avoid getting side tracked debating what I mean
What I really really mean is just fucking say what you're saying and don't bother saying capitalism cause you'll just make people argue and miss your point
#this is about me reblogging a post the mentions the word capitalism#and I sometimes do that and have people get in and argue about if something is or isn't capitalism#and it's like yeah mate and honestly I hear you; I'm not sure that it fully 100% fits here and if it does it's so broad it's meaningless#but like... read the bit before they said capitalism and have a think on that instead#like let's focus on the description of the situation and how we feel about that description more than a single definition#I honestly don't really care what things are called half as much as the actions being taken and how effective they're likely to be#don't really care if something's called hatemurderdeathism if it's making things better with no policies I hate#obviously there's some things where I'd be like 'hmm... let's not call it that; cause that implies some specific bad stuff'#but like broad strokes shit... capitalism socialism libertarian... what the fuck ever...#is there a strong social net while people are free to trade goods and services?#then I probably am mostly for this plan#fight about the name but leave me out of it#...that's another big part of why I don't call myself anything#takes too long trying to explain your definitions and get people to agree that it doesn't actually mean fascist murder#(cause whatever label you run under I bet I've seen someone call it a fascist murder)#nah; I'm not any this or that group... given up on that a long time ago#I'm just a stupid idiot with various ideas I'd like to talk with people to see how we can move the needle more in that direction#like the less people starving and being homeless direction#and the more worthwhile and productive work and less busy pointless work for megacorps direction#which I think means a shift to more small businesses... which is actually part of why I'm for a UBI#pretty sure I know at least one person on here with a business idea (and knowing them it's a good one)#but they just lack the financial stability to start the business#so I actually want a UBI cause I think it would be good for the economy#never gonna say I can't be stupid or wrong; but that is one of my motives#...whatever... none of this matters; really ought to hurry up and die but I procrastinate that as hard as everything else
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Fitness Trainer
A/N: I blended some french terms of endearment with English don't come for me. But is Antoine really French, or is he feigning this way to get closer to you? (Had a fem idea for this too)
Synopsis: Another day at the gym, your personalized trainer is helping you out a lot more intimately than he would with most clients.
TW: Creep gym trainer, yandere themes, mentions of future stalking/imagined groping, sensual content
And up... and down, just like that."
The squeeze on your hips kept you stable, even with your fingers shaking, mouth agape as hot breath was sucked in, and out.Â
"One more, you can do one more for me."
"I can't..." you huffed, thighs quaking as the barbell on your shoulders made you ache.Â
"Yes you can. C'mon sweetheart, we'll do it together."
He gripped the barbell beside where your sweating hands were, chest flush against your back as his feet entrapped the outside of your own.Â
âDo it with me now,â He pulled the weight lower, forcing you to squat despite the agony in your ankles and tailbone. âPush through it, baby.â
The sweet name just slipped out, breathy against your ear as his hot exhales slowed compared to your huffs. It almost made you slip.
You could feel the muscles in your wrists shaking, vision going blurry as sweat drips into your eyes. One of his hands leaves the barbell to grip your hip, forcing you back into a standing position as your knees nearly give out.Â
You rise slowly back up with the barbell in your hands, nearly groaning in pain at the strain. You finally lift your arms to your chest, finishing the rep with a strained frown as your personal trainer forces the weight off of your arms. His taller stature makes it easy to put the barbell back on the rack in front of you.Â
You feel as if you could collapse, an hour and a half of intense training brought upon by your own determination leaving you exhausted and a little discouraged. You thought you could do more, push yourself harder-- but at the end of the day, the amount of reps your body would let you do, was it. Youâd crack if you tried to go even further, end up tearing something or worse.Â
Your trainer could tell; the way you sweat, your eyebrows furrowed as you kept that hard, strained look with each motion he made you do.Â
âI hate to say it, but youâre done for today.âÂ
You look up at him from your place on the ground, water bottle hanging from your grip as you try to catch your breath.Â
Antoine had only worked with you for a couple weeks now, what started as once a week now thrice, if you had the time after work of course. But somehow, he always enticed you to come back.Â
His body, which shouldâve been motivation, was more or less disheartening-- rippling muscles and bulging quads peeking beneath his tight âTRAINERâ black tee and athletic shorts as the perfect ensemble.Â
He was so sweet, so encouraging and upsettingly positive. Always filling up your water bottle, saying how heâs always admiring the growth of muscle definition in your back, giving you light touches to show which area of your body that a machine might work out. He even offered post-exercise massages to make sure you didnât get sore after each session, free of cost as a perk of joining the gymâs âpremium membershipâ, an idea he sold you on. That, along with the complementary protein shakes made that were hi âspecialty.â
You knew it was his job to hook you in, but who could say no to that sweet meatheadâs face? Which is why you were here, on a late saturday afternoon, in this nearly empty gym with him that he convinced you to love.Â
You couldnât help but feel a little guilty, even if he was the one persuading you, offering to use his time off to come in and help train you.
âFeelinâ sore?â Antoine bends down next to you, offering a small towel from his pocket. The twinge of accent in his speech makes him sound funny, dry lips parted as he looks you over. âYou went harder than usual today.âÂ
âYeah,â You let out after a gulp of water. âDefinitely gonna feel this later tonight; ha, maybe Iâll actually take you up on one of those massages.âÂ
You point with your water bottle, grinning tiredly as Antoineâs eyes seem to shine. He licks his lips to hide a giddy grin.Â
âOf course-- definitely, Iâd be more than happy to. These hands can work magic you wouldnât believe.â
Antoine shuffles behind you, pulling at your shoulders to make you sit up straight.Â
âWha- you mean right now? Iâm all, sticky.âÂ
âNowâs the best time, your muscles are just coming down from the effort theyâve exerted. Best to prevent any aches and pains as soon as possible rather than waiting.âÂ
He begins gentle rubs against the base of your neck; vast, warm fingers grace your collar with a softness you hadnât expected. Usually when people try to massage your shoulders theyâre too harsh, too grippy; but Antoine was rhythmic, pushing into your back with his palms as he made his way down to your shoulder blades.Â
âBut considering youâve pushed so hard, I donât want to see you back here for a couple of days.â Antoine insisted.
âAwe, you want me outa here that badly?â You joked, laying your head forward as Antoineâs fingers made their way to the back of your neck, running pressed thumbs down from your hairline. âI see how it is, prefer your other clients over me.âÂ
It felt sort of weird, having him massage you so deeply on the gym floor out in the open. But the only person here in the middle of the afternoon was an older woman, paying more attention to her cellphone on the treadmill than anything you two were doing.Â
Antoine shook your shoulders.Â
âDonât say that, now!â He leaned his head over next to yours from behind, getting so close your nose almost brushed against his cheek. âItâs not funny; I hope you donât see me that way.â
âItâs just a joke,â You titter, running your handtowel down the front of your shirt.
âI never understand your jokes.â He sighs, hands moving down to your tailbone. He lifts the bottom of your shirt sticking to your skin, digging his hands against the soft flesh.Â
âWoah, hey,â You turn to look at him, but his head is down, looking at his fingers.Â
âI have to get to your hips, you canât do so many squats without release. And at the rate you were going to day⊠well, you see what I mean.â
The bottom of your tanktop covers his knuckles as he pulls and kneads the skin of your lower back.Â
âO-okay.. I guess..âÂ
Heâs not usually so insistent, but he seems so genuine about it-- and, heâs the trainer, shouldnât they know best?Â
He begins with little strokes to your skin, almost caressing. You grow anxious until his thumbs push deep lines into your flesh.Â
âDoes that feel a little better, Mon cĆur? Less pain?â He asks up close, staring at your heated and perspiring cheeks.Â
Youâre awed by how good it actually feels, the tension melting away with each push of his knuckles into your skin, and grip of his hands around your waist as each of his thumbs digs into your sides.Â
âYeah⊠feels a lot better..âÂ
âYou can rest your head on my shoulder, donât be embarrassed, sweetheart.â
You do as he says, arching your back with your head against his shoulder. He had easier access into your back, working his hands up beneath your shirt to reach your mid abdomen.
The deeper Antoine kneaded, the farther he grew up your back, the more⊠audible, his groans became. Each dip was another breathy moan into your ear. It was fine at first, just the sounds of his work; and then, it became almost, uncomfortably sensual.Â
âJust like that...â He mumbled, giving a deep hum.
With your neck so close, his nose dips against your jaw to sneak a sharp inhale of your scent. It was heightened from your hour of strenuous work, a smell he couldnât get enough of.Â
But you jumped forward before he could nuzzle as deep against you as he wished.Â
âUh! Thanks, I feel a lot better now. Really⊠got all the kinks out.âÂ
You clutch your towel, facing your trainer to prevent him from working his âmagic fingersâ again.Â
âOf course. And thatâs just a taste, a fully body massage would leave the workout you just completed to drain away, as if it was just a dream.â He wiggles his hands with a sheepish grin, one so simple and sincere your guard fell again.
Sure, guys at the gym could be creeps, but he was your trainer, eyes kind and a little foreignly clueless, who only wanted to see you thrive; heâd never try something with you, his client.Â
âYeah, maybe next time. But now, I need to shower and get this stink off of me.â You bring yourself to your feet, all wobbly and achy-galore. Even with Antoineâs work on your shoulders, you can feel your back beginning to seize up. Itâs gonna be hard to bend down for a while.Â
Offering a hand to Antoine still on the rubbery gym floor, he takes it with a slight ease. He doesnât use the weight in his hand to get up, knowing heâd just drag you back down to the floor if he did.Â
âThanks again-- I mean, I know itâs your job but--âÂ
âDonât thank me; itâs always a treat to have you here, my cherie. Iâd train you for free, you know!âÂ
You laugh, flattered at the idea. If you were a bit more forward, youâd ask him for that little perk. Hey, paying for his service certainly wasnât cheap!
Making your way to the bathroom, you thank your lucky stars the hard partâs over. Too bad you canât look at Antoineâs pretty face anymore, though.Â
Antoine on the other hand, follows your stumbling body with his eyes, watching as you disappear behind the water fountain and bathroom door.Â
His eyes jut back and forth between the machines and front door for witnesses, seeing none before snatching up your forgotten towel. Howâd you never notice they didnât just give these things out?Â
Heâd brought the cute handkerchief from home, wanting to appear the most of a gentleman. And, in the hopes that youâd use it every and anywhere.Â
Oh, he thrived off that scent, pushing the white damp cloth heavy against his nose. It smelled even more potent of you, moreso than the few inches away of sniffs he usually got.Â
His tongue just barely brushed against it, writhing in ecstasy from how it still held the stickiness of your sweat. You didnât know how intoxicating it was to him, watching each bead of sweat leave your neck, the dip of your back when he got the chance to help hold that barbell with you⊠it was almost maddening, how strictly he had to restrain himself from lapping at your hot skin and running his hands beneath your gymwear.Â
 No, he had to save this for later. What would his manager think if he saw him acting so ferally?Â
Besides, there were more important matters to attend to. Such as, taking out the bathroom trash, a simple excuse to slide his manager for the opportunity to watch you shower.Â
Who knew working here would have such great advantages in getting close to you.Â
#gym trainer yandere#fitness trainer yandere#yandere#x reader#reader insert#yandere x reader#self insert#male yandere#writing#reader inserts#yandere stories#yandere aesthetic#yandere imagines#yandere oc x reader#yandere scenarios#yandere writing#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yanderecore#yandere male#creep yandere#yandere boy#yandere boyfriend#gym yandere#yandere community#yandere blog#yandere thoughts#soft yandere#fiction#yandere fiction
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I've been lookin for a writer who takes reqs for lnds đ Can i req sfw hcs/one-shot (choose which one u prefer more) for sylus & fem/gn reader?
I remember there was one call for zayne x mc where mc called zayne accidentally because mc was drunk & mc called zayne (accidentally) instead of booking a cab (mc did book a cab but w/ a wrong destination).
Can i maybe req what if the scenario is like that but it's w/ sylus instead? Feel free to tell me if this req is too much or if u wanna decline it, thanks a lot!
My first Sylus fic! Yay! (Don't look at me Rafayel đ„°) Anon your mind is so powerful! This prompt was so much fun to write, so thank you, hope you enjoy!
Wrong Number
Sylus x Reader đ©ž
Summary: You're having a bit of trouble getting hold of that taxi you booked, but more trouble help is on the way...
Genre: fluff, kinda ends on an angsty note (sorry đ)
Warnings/Additional tags: drunk reader, some swearing, humour, uses of 'sweetie' and 'kitten', threat of violence/death at the start, a slight bit of suggestion (it's Sylus, ok? He's having âšfunâš)
| Word count: 2k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!
âMr. Sylus, please! It was an honest mistakeâ almost indistinguishable from a genuine protocore, I swear!â
Sylus is lounging back in a plush leather armchair, feeling thoroughly short-changed as he turns about a fake protocore with his fingers. Heâs been listening to this noise for almost a full minute, growing awfully impatient, though he did like the last excuse.
âSay that again,â he drawls with a sinister smile.
âIt was an honest mistake,â the black-market dealer stutters, tripping over his words. âIt was almost indistinguishable from aââ
âAlmost indistinguishableâŠâ Sylus confirms. âAlmost. Almost.â Heâs savouring each syllableâ tasting them like wine.
âIt would have fooled almost anyone!â
âAlmost anyone?â Sylus laughs, and itâs a wicked, dangerous thing. âWell yes, I rather think thatâs the point. But it didnât fool just anyone, did it? It fooled you.â
His smile is gone in an instant, his hand closing around the fake protocore, splintering it with a crack. He drops bloodied, sapphire fragments from his palm, red and blue, red and blue, and they skitter across the hardwood floor like rain.
âPlease, Mr. Sylus!â the dealer pleads, desperate. âIâll do anything! I will! Iâll make it up to you!â
âNo, thanks.â Sylus studies his palm as it heals. âIâve had my fill of fake protocores.â
âSylus!â
The leader of Onychinus stands, drawing his gun with a customary apathy. Dark energy manifests, twisting around the dealerâs limbs, holding him still, while a lone tendril crawls around his mouth, holding him silent. Heâs struggling, but he should know better. He should have known better from the very beginning. With a wistful smile, Sylus levels the gun with his head, andâ
Something rings.
His red gaze shoots up, instinctively seeking Luke and Kieran, but they shrug from their station at the other side of the room. The sound is closer than that, anyway. Glaringly more familiar. Sylusâs spare hand goes to his pocket, and he draws out his phone.
âMmm?â he greets, thumb sliding across the screen as he puts it to his ear.
Thereâs only one person who calls him at this time of night.
âWhere are you?â your voice echoes from the other side of the line.
âThatâs a question I prefer not to answer without knowing what motivates it.â
âWhaâ Sylus?â
âYes, sweetie,â he drones.
Thereâs a moment of silence. âShit.â
Itâs not the reaction he aspires to, but you sound agitated, so heâs going to let it slide. Thereâs a loud crackle from the speaker, followed by a few, harsher sounds, and he pulls the phone away from his ear, wincing slightly. His eyes are trained on the man at his feet, but he lowers his gun, distracted.
âWhat are youââ he begins, but then he identifies the sound. Itâs a fingerâ your fingerâ jabbing away at a screen. âIf I didnât know any better, Miss Hunter, Iâd say you were trying to get rid of me.â
âNoâŠâ you deny too quickly. Itâs still there: the tapping. Like Mephisto, pecking furiously at a locked window from outside. A few more jabs, and thenâŠ
The call cuts out.
Sylus scoffs, looking down at his now silent phone in disbelief. He flops back into his chair, tossing his gun onto a side table before hitting the button to call you back. You know heâs not a patient man, but you donât pick up the first time, and so he has to try again. He can be patient for youâ he tells himselfâ as he thinks up some creative ways for you to return the charity. Speaking of charityâŠ
His gaze drops to the dealer. âGet out,â he sneers.
The man doesnât have to be told twice. He scrambles to his feet as his blood-dark bindings retract, practically throwing himself towards the roomâs exit. Luke pushes open the door, the intense music of the nightclub beating through the gap, but Kieranâs being less helpful. He steps into the doorway, blocking any escape. He feints right. Then left. Behind the masks, both men are laughing.
Eventually Kieran steps aside. He shoves the dealer the rest of the way through the door as Luke kicks it shut, and they exchange a high-five.
Sylus pinches the bridge of his nose. His call connects.
âHello?â Youâre back. âFinally! Where are you? I donât see you.â
âStill me, sweetie.â
âSylus?â you actually whine. Itâs adorable. âWhy is it you? Go away.â
âNo,â he lilts tunefully, and then heâs coaxing: âI want to help you, kitten. Wonât you let me help you? Tell me, who are you trying to call?â
Frustration spills from youâ fake, exaggerated sobs tearing themselves from your throat. âThe taxi, Sy,â you whine again. âThe stupid taxi, ok? Itâs not here. Itâs meant to be here.â
âWhereâs here?â
âHa!â you exclaim like youâve evaded a masterplan, and not a casually asked, run-of-the-mill question. âNo. Nice try, but no. You wanna help me?â
âYeah.â
âThen leave me alone!â
Withâ he can imagineâ some sort of theatrical flourish, you deliver your phone a final, decisive tap. It beckons a fateful silence. Sylus brings his phone in front of his face, unmoved by the momentâs gravitas. Thereâs a pop-up on the screen. Kitten: requesting video chat.
He smiles to himself. Then accepts. âHi sweetie.â
Your face is lighting up his screen, your cheeks flushed, your brow furrowed, and your eyes sharp with determination. âWhy can Iâ wait, why can I see you? Get out of my phone, Sy!â
âMy, my,â he tuts, but heâs smiling still, âlook at youâ the illustrious Miss Hunter. It is a relief to know the fate of Linkon rests in such⊠reliable hands.â
âWhat dâyou mean?â you mumble.
âYouâre drunk.â
âYouâre drunk!â
He chuckles. âAnd thereâs that infamous wit.â
You bite your lip as you ignore him, still fixated on trying to end the call. It occurs to him that you will eventually succeed; even a broken clock is right twice a day. âListen to me, sweetie. Are you alone?â
His tone is sober enough for the two of you, and your exasperated eyes meet his. âYeah.â
âThen be a good girl and send me your location. You remember how to do that, right?â He carefully enunciates each word of his plan. âIâll come and get you, but I need to know where you are. Donât go with anyone else. Wait for me, ok?â
Youâre nodding away, the odd âmmhmmâ escaping your lips, but youâre not at all listening. He catches on after a minute. Trails offâ realises your gaze is too vacant, and your focus? Wandering. Youâre cradling your phone with both hands. His view is interrupted as your thumb passes over the camera; youâre⊠stroking the screen?
âYouâre so pretty, Sy,â you murmur breathlessly.
His gaze softens. He sighs, âYouâre pretty too.â
Then you make a sound heâs never heard before: you squeak, the phoneâs audio almost cutting out. A blush is spreading through your cheeks, so much darker than the alcoholâs afterglow, and gods he wishes your face was in his hands. The vision is short-lived, however, because suddenly youâre gone.
Thereâs a circling view of a dark street, split by streaks of white light, as your phone careens through the air. It strikes concrete a moment later, stuttering to a stop, and Sylusâs grimace deepens with each jarring crack. Your screen has gone black, but he doesnât think itâs broken. Heâs face down, apparentlyâ subjected to an unexciting view of the pavement.
âOh, shit!â He hears you gasp.
Though your voice is far away, your phone is in your grasp again in no time. Youâre turning it over, peering down at him, tracing the outline of his face with worry. âSorry, Sy. Are you ok?â
âIâll survive.â He raises an eyebrow. âYou know, if you wanted to throw me around, you only needed to ask.â
His voice has dropped, and he loves watching you notice. You stand from your crouch with a smirk, bringing him with youâ a dark idea in your eyes. âWanna go again?â
Before he can protest, heâs looking at the back of your head. Your arm is stretched behind you, gearing up to send him on another short flight.
âAh, ah, ah,â he interrupts, panicking briefly, but youâd never detect it with all your wits about you, let alone none. Heâs brought in front of your face again, and youâre frowning oh so sweetly. âI asked you to do something, remember?â
âYou told me to do something.â
So pedantic. âWhat did I tell you to do, sweetie?â
You donât say anything. Thereâs a short huff as you blow hair from your face, and then youâre concentrating. You have that look he likes: the one you get when youâre whittling away at your paperwork like a good little hunter. The same stubborn resolve, too, that makes you lean over it when he or Mephisto are conveniently behind your shoulder.
Your location comes through with a ping and his smile widens. Heâs up in a heartbeat, telling you heâs on his wayâ that you did such a good jobâ and that you need to stay on the phone with him, ok? He spins his fingers as he passes between Luke and Kieran, a gesture theyâve long grown accustomed to and can easily translate.
I'm leaving. Clean this up.
âŠ
âSo then Xavier, likeâ well, you know Xavierâ he was all, âIâll tell you later,â but he never did, Sy! Off he went, leaving Nero and I to do all the paperwork, and I asked Nero, and Nero was like, âask Xavier yourselfâ, and I was like, âI literally just did!â, and he just shrugged, and itâs⊠driving me crazy, you know? Because where does he even go? Tara and I have this bet going, she thinks itâs because heââ
Your anecdote comes to a sudden stop.
âWhat does Tara think, sweetie?â
âShh shh shh! Wait a secondâŠâ
You clutch your phone to your chest like itâll somehow suppress Sylusâs voice. Youâre sat, leaning back against a chain-link fence, but you rise as a black car pulls up in front of you. The windows are tinted. You squint, leaning forward to try to look through them anyway.
âI donât like this, Sy,â you frown as you plant a hand on your hip. âThereâs a car here.â
âOh?â
âShh!â you hiss again. Itâs not the only car parked on the street, but it is the only one alive. The engine purrs and its lights are glowing like angry embers, refusing to be snuffed out by the dark. You take a step closer, then the engine cuts out. You take a bigger step back.
âWhat exactly are you afraid of?â Sylus asks, his tone so thick itâs practically bleeding through your phone. âIs a big, bad man trying to get you?â
âWell I donât know what they look like, Sy. The windows are tinted, and Iâ AH!â you gasp. Â
A strong pair of arms wrap around you from behind, lifting you from the ground. âGot you, sweetie,â Sylus chuckles in your ear as tell-tale crow feathers settle around you. His breath is hot on your neck and it tickles, turning your panicked shrieks to laughter.
âSylus!â you squeal as you attempt to wriggle free. You donât think youâre trying very hard.
The man lowers you back to your feet, but his arms stay around you and he dips his head, resting his chin on the curve of your shoulder. âHi,â he whispers.
âHi.â For a little word, thereâs so much fondness.
âLetâs get you home to bed, ok?â
You nod compliantly with a yawn, swaying a little as his arms retract and youâre having to stand on your own again. He chuckles as he steadies youâ placing a hand on the top of your headâ and you pivot, drawn by the sound. His crimson eyes find yours and theyâre dark with something that stirs you, even with your mind swimming and nothing really making sense. Youâre not sure of anything at all, exceptâ
No-one has ever looked at you like that before.
And you wonât remember it tomorrow.
âCome on,â he prompts, nudging you towards the car, and you start to walk, though youâre dragging your feet. âI want to hear all of the associationâs dirtiest secrets while I still can.â
âTara has a crush on the new weapon specialist, you know.â
Sylus blinks, then laughsâ a tender, comfortable thing. Completely enthralled. âYou donât say,â he beams.
No, you wonât remember it tomorrow.
#đrach is actually writing#sylus x reader#sylus#love and deepspace#lads sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#qin che#sylus x mc#sylus x you#lads x reader#lads#lnds#l&ds
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HAVING AN INTENTIONAL ROOM
Your room is the most important place in your life. You sleep, wake up, heal and experience many emotions just in your room. You have to take care of your room, so it is spiritually the ideal place to grow into the best version of yourself.Â
KEEPING YOUR ROOM CLEANÂ
Keeping your room free of mess is an act of mindfulness and self-discipline that supports your overall journey and connects you with your higher self. It helps with promoting clarity, and cultivating inner balance and is an everyday self-care ritual.Â
Make your bed every day. You have to respect the place in which you sleep and heal.
Hang up clean clothes after the day or put any dirty clothes in your laundry hamper, avoid tossing them on the floor.Â
Find a place for everything, and know where everything is. If you do not know where each thing in your room is located, you either have too much clutter or youâre disorganised.Â
Tidy up your room daily, neatly putting everything away in its place. If needed, buy a few organisers.Â
Donât leave rubbish for extended periods. Treat your room like a temple, donât disrespect it, and pick up after yourself.Â
Try to avoid eating meals in your bedroom. We forget the dirty dishes over time, and it stinks and attracts unwanted bugs.Â
Change bed sheets regularly. Once a week at the most, for more hygienic reasons though.Â
Remove unwanted items on your bedside table. Keep it minimal and intentional with anything you want to place on it.
Regularly clean up the dust in your room, using a duster or a damp microfiber cloth on all of the surfaces.Â
ENCOURAGING GROWTH IN YOUR LIFE
A room designed to encourage inner growth serves as a physical reminder of your commitment to self-improvement, personal development, and overall well-being. It creates an environment helpful to improvement, self-reflection, and positive change.
Keep specific areas of your room designated to one task in your life. For me, my desk is for productivity, my bed is for resting or relaxing and my bedroom floor is for mindful activities.Â
Throw away any items that do not serve a purpose to you anymore. Avoid keeping items that bring you painful or harmful memories.
Minimise the presence of technology in your room. I suggest having zones in your room which is device-free or having a time of day in which devices are not allowed in your room.Â
Create a vision board poster in your room that you can see every day, which helps to visualise and motivate you to create your dream life.Â
Place meaningful quotes, affirmations, mantras or prayers as reminders of the values, mindsets or intentions you wish to cultivate in your life.
Display personal achievements. If you won any awards or certificates, place them in a way in which you can view them every day. If you have done something in your life that you think is an achievement but have no award to display, just simply create your own. Buy some balsawood and glue it together to create your own medal.Â
Place items that align with the habits or routines you want to cultivate in your life so that they are easily accessible. Put a workout mat in the corner, always have your journal on your desk or have a cold water bottle ready to go when you wake up.Â
3. DECORATING YOUR ROOM TO REFLECT YOU
Decorating your room in a way that reflects your true self brings a sense of authenticity and comfort. It creates a nurturing environment that allows for self-expression, reflection, and personal growth which ultimately contributes to your journey of inner development.
Make a mood board or vision board of how you would want your room to look, how it supports you and how it makes you feel. Choose a colour scheme in this process as well.
Add candles or incense that you think embodies who you are, or who you want to be. For example, if I want to be a cleaner person, I would choose a candle that smells like fresh linen.Â
Put up posters of things that you like, people who you look up to or anything that expresses who you are.
Add a canopy to your bed while you sleep. So cute, and I believe it helps protect you from any unwanted energy entering through you while you sleep.Â
Add a rug, even if you already have carpet, to enhance the cozy ambience of the room.Â
An ottoman at the end of the bed can elevate your room to look more expensive, if needed, it can also be an organiser for your extra things.Â
Put life in your room, adding low-maintenance plants or flowers can liven it up. A little extra, research some plants or flowers meaningâs and pick one that resonates with you.Â
Display any of your favourite jewellery, bags, clothing pieces, or make-up around your room. A nice way to appreciate what you have, without actually using them.Â
#becoming that girl#clean girl#green juice girl#becoming her#that girl#that girl lifestyle#glow up#glow up era#pink pilates girl#dream girl#dream girl life#pink pilates princess#it girl#it girl energy#it girl tips#dream girl tips#feminine energy#feminine journey#that girl energy#that girl routine#wonyoungism#hyperfemininity#hypergamyblr#self improvement#self development#self help#self care#self growth#self love#inner strength
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Grouch
Summary | Youâre not the most pleasant person to wake up, so Eddie decides to stick it out in Garethâs basement.
Contains | Fem!Reader, Friends-to-Lovers (eventually), CursingâŠ
Pairing | BestFriend!Eddie x BestFriend!Reader
Word Count | 1.3k
An | I havenât written in a while, Iâve had no motivation, so Iâm so sorry this sucksđ Hopefully Iâll be able to get something better out soon!!
âSo⊠Whoâs gonna wake her up?â Jeff asks.
All the boys stare at you from your spot on the couch. Face smooshed against the small pillow you used to cushion your head. You hadnât meant to fall asleep but whatever movie Gareth had chosen for that night had you passed out 30 minutes in.
âI mean, obviously Eddie, right?â Grant says, brow raised as he looks over at him, smirking as Eddie looked back at him with squinted eyes.
Yes. Eddie knew that was probably his responsibility right now, he had driven you over and he was supposed to drive you back to your trailer.
âWell, me and Jeff gotta go, so⊠have fun waking up, the princessâŠâ He teases as he pats Eddieâs shoulder and he and Jeff make their way to Gareths front door.
Eddie actually preferred nights when the movie hangouts were held over at anyone elseâs house. The other boys enjoyed them more at his trailer, no adults to interrupt and basically free rein. Which is why Eddie dreaded having them at his place, itâs not that he didnât like his friends he just didnât like having a hoard of teenage boys loose around his safe space.
You were a completely different story though. Movies night with you at his trailer were probably his favorite, but heâs not about to admit that to you.
And when you would conk out at his place heâd just let you sleep. It has come very apparent to everyone in the group that waking you up was not for the weak.
You were definitely snippy to say the least, you werenât too fond of the way you acted after being woken up either. Probably something you should work on, but thatâs beside the point.
Eddie and Gareth are left with you, and Gareth chuckles lightly at the small dribble of drool seeping from the corner of your mouth. He wonât lie, he thinks you're cute, but he has to keep his staring to a minimum cause the few times Eddie had caught him staring at you the look he shot him was nothing short of scary.
âWell, Go ahead.â Gareth says with an all too cocky smirk.
âCan we just crash here? I mean, she looks kinda peaceful⊠we wouldnât want to disturb thatâŠâ
âPussy.â Gareth says with a chuckle but immediately shut up as he sees the look in Eddieâs eyes.
Jeez. There it is again. Gareth will never know how he can hold so much power with just one look. But it has him muttering a quiet âsorryâ.
âYeah, you can crash here, Iâll bring some pillows and blankets downâŠâ And heâs already quick on his feet to head upstairs. Eddie rolls his eyes and huffs as he takes in seat on the floor next to where you legs are set. He leans his head back on the couch and looks up at you.
He immediately clocks the dampened spot on the pillow, right by where your mouth laid. He chuckles slightly at the sight.
Of course youâre a drooler. And of course this is the one time he doesnât find it disgusting. He rolls his eyes again, and looks forward. Letting out a sigh feeling slightly annoyed with himself. He doesnât have much time to dwell on it though, thankfully, cause Gareth is coming back down stairs with pillows and blankets.
He stands to help, grabbing some of the pile off of him, dropping a pillow and blankets down to the floor for himself and then taking the rest.
âAre you actually scared to wake her?â Gareth asks, his tone is still slightly playful. Eddie does find himself impressed sometimes by how persistently annoying Gareth can be without giving up, but not right now.
Eddie stares at Gareth blankly for a second before letting out a sigh, âOnly like a tiny bit.â He tries to defend but Gareth still chuckles lightly.
âWell, you know where everything is so⊠Iâll leave you to it. Night.â He says as he begins making his way back up the stairs to his room.
Turning his gaze back to you, Eddie moves himself closer to you, and as carefully as he can he lifts your legs from the floor onto the couch. You grumble quietly but never fully wake up. He grabs one of the blankets for you and lazily throws it on to you. He watches how it lands imperfectly.
And for what feels like the umpteenth time that night he rolls his eyes before what seems to be an attempt to tuck you in. He doesnât understand how you have the powers to pull him to do such things but you do.
Once youâre more efficiently covered he plops himself down to the floor, adjust his pillow and throws the blanket over himself. He feels exhausted for some reason. Mostly likely from Gareth's shitty movie choice, and it has him ready to pass out.
And fortunately it doesnât take him long.
But not too long after you find yourself waking up, eyes heavy as they let themselves slightly open. The rooms dark as you take it in and it clicks that this is not your room.
You sit up in a panic. Shit did Eddie really leave you here?!
âFuck!â You whispered panicked as you swing your legs over the edge of the couch and your feet crush down onto something soft. You fall back down to the couch as whatever you just stepped on lets out a loud groan and your eyes widen.
âShit! Fuck! Iâm sorry, I uh- I thought you leftâŠâ You look down at him guiltily, âIâm sorryâŠâ
Eddie lets out an exhausted sigh as he runs his hands down his face and sleepily says, âI wouldnât just leave you here, Y/n.â His tone is slightly annoyed and you canât blame him, waking up to a foot in the gut is not the best, and somehow heâs still being nicer than you would have been. 10x times nicer.
âNo?â You ask quietly as you lay yourself back down onto your pillow, continuing to stare at him from over the edge.
Looks over to you and grumbles out âNoâŠâ And he lets his eyes close again, but they quickly snap open at the feeling of your hand on his stomach, right where you stepped.
You give it a small rub before saying, âAgain, Iâm really sorryâŠâ You pull your hand away but he can still feel a sort of tingling in his stomach where you laid your hand on him, overpowering the painful foot to the gut feeling present before.
âItâs fineâŠâ he whispers.
âCan we- can we go home? I really, really donât want to sit and eat breakfast with Gareth's dad againâŠâ He chuckles tired at that. Every time theyâve all spent the night there, they had to deal with whatever bullshit Garethâs dad was talking about way too fucking early, so heâs all for leaving.
âYeah, câmonâŠâ grunts slightly as he rises from his spot on the floor. He throws his pillow and blanket onto the couch by yours and you both quietly slip out of the house and make your way to his van.
The drive back to the trailer park was quiet, you both were too tired for conversation, but once you arrived home and he parked in front of your trailer you hopped out and walked to his side of the van. He quickly rolled the window down as you walked closer.
âYou donât need to be scared to wake me up, EddieâŠâ you smirk at him, and heâs narrowing his eyes.
âIâm not scared.â He groans out.
âRightâŠâ Youâre smiling as you pat his shoulder and begin walking up the stairs to your door, you turn and say, âI promise Iâll try and be less of a pain in the ass about itâŠâ And then you walk inside. He smiles and puts the van into drive and he makes his way over to the trailer across from yours.
He passes out the second his head hits his pillow. But heâs definitely gonna hold you to that promise.
#eddie munson#stranger things#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson oneshot#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson blurb#heart-eyed-love
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get ready to get back to schoolâ.àłàż*:đïž
i can hardly believe that school is coming up. in like, two/one week. ISNT THAT ABSURD? i feel like summer just flew past but im very excited to start my junior year of highschoolâŠđŹđ
BUYING DREAM SCHOOL SUPPLIES ;
when ur school supplies are cute, you'll feel MOTIVATED to put them to good use. idek what it is. 99% of my school supplies are pink and because of that im motivated to take good notes, study my notes etc because seeing the sparks of pink just make me so HAPPY.
so ofc this year my school supply list has remained consistent in its color scheme of pink, pink and more pink đ. some things on my school shopping list are ->
notebooks
a binder
dividers for the binders with adorable labels
pink and purple gel pens (along with black gel pens)
pastel highlighters
looseleaf paper
a fluffy pink pen
FIX UR SLEEP SCHEDULE ;
ik a lot of us (including myself some times) stay up for way to long and feel like our sleep schedule is BEYOND repair but it is not. u need to be getting back into a consistent sleeping routine that keeps u healthy and well rested not only for back to school but for ur own well being. you'll have plenty of time tomorrow for what u choose to stay up all night doing, i promise.
FOR MY ONLINE GIRLIES ;
so this year i'll be taking a semester online so i've been dabbling in figuring out the perfect routine for an online school regimen. one in which i could balance personal and academic life in a healthy way (get sunlight everyday, sleep on time etc) some things that im going to prioritize while doing a semester online are ->
⥠getting fresh air everyday
⥠going for a walk everyday and making sure to stay active
⥠NOT doing school work in bed
so a tip i've learned is that the things that u do in bed, your mind will like, associate ur bed with it. so for example if ur constantly playing video games in bed, when its time to relax and go to bed, when ur in bed your mind will be like "time to play video games". so i will not be doing school work in bed, also for a healthy change of sceneryâŠđŹđ
⥠going out with my friends and calling them everyday so that im not isolated
⥠keeping a steady and productive routine
SETTING GOALS ;
lets be goal oriented, A+ academic barbies this year âđœ. to make sure that ur doing ur very best its important to set goals for urself. having something to strive for is a great way to stay motivated and disciplined during the year. my goal for my junior year is to keep my straight A streak and finish with my law distinction (im 3/4 of the way done). and ofc its important to break down ur goals, and i'll give an example of how i did this.
so in freshman year ik i wanted a distinction in law, and to get a distinction in law i would have to take 4 separate law courses. there are 4 years in highschool so if i took one law course per school year i'd have my distinction. but i wanted to expedite the process so i took one course freshman year, and two courses sophomore year. this year i will take one more.
this frees up SO much time for me to get another distinction and since i've already taken a course of business in freshman year, i'll strive for my business distinction tooâŠđŹđ
if u dont know where to start with goal setting for school here are some ideas ->
⥠maintain ur current GPA or try and raise it
⥠never get below a B on any assignment or test
⥠do every single homework assignment (never take a zero)
STAYING ORGANIZED ;
staying organized is CRUCIAL for being successful in school. i use notion to keep myself organized during the school year. by putting down dates for tests in my calendar, ik when i need to start preparing. and by making a todo list everyday i can stay on top of my assignment.
if u struggle with school organization, set aside an hour a day to just make sure that everything is in its place. and it doesnt even have to be an hour, just set aside time every single day to make sure that everything it where its supposed to be. it'll save you SO much time in the future and you'll rly thank urself for it in the future.
and to end this post, i'll share some school/academic related affirmations đ
đïž im literally the definition of beauty and brains
đ im the top of my class
đïž i must have perfect memory cuz i remember everything im taught in class
đ im literally a GENIUS
đïž i effortlessly stay at the top of my class
đ wow, im smart, pretty, AND talented?? god rly does have favorites
#law of assumption#advice#honeytonedhottieâïž#it girl#becoming that girl#self concept#self care#that girl#self love#it girl energy#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#dreamy#back to school#pink academia#academic barbie#academic validation#academic weapon#hyper feminine#hyper femininity#girly#girl blog#girl blogging#self improvement#self discipline#self development#school year#school tips#studying
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hi i really want to actually start like... you know, do you have any advice on how to start and not get unmotivated quickly?
Vanessa's official guide on how to not fuck up at yk what.
(Tw obvi)
Okay first random thing I would recommend is decide what d!3t soda you're going to like, or if you don't like a d!3t soda at all and you actually want to be more like a flavored water girl. Trust me this will just make things easier down the line. I remember at the beginning I was so confused on what to drink so this is so random but I just wanted to put that there so that way you don't end up drinking all your daily c@ls like I did đđ
Make sure that if you're trying to make friends here do not try to get a stupid coach. There is no point because these are all just crusty old men you do not need that---there's so many people on this side of Tumblr that are actually nice and we'll talk to you and give advice I promise a old man yelling at you for b!nging isnt gonna fix anything.
Then go on any of the websites online and find your daily c@l intake. If you new to r3$triction I would maybeee do 800-900 a day and work your way down. DW about everyone else f@$ting for weeks just start at like 800-900 a day
For the amount of c@ls your eating, try to make it healthy. Trust me there's a whole bunch of sweet treats that you can get for lower c@|ories then normal ones. And also you need PROTEIN. not SUGAR. (I'm kinda yelling at myself lmao I'm a sweet tooth ignore that pls)
SMOOTHIES. they are so good and you can find hundreds of recipes on the internet!!
READ THE CH|C D|3T. THIS HAS BASICALLY ALMOST EVERYTHING YOU ARE EVER GOING TO NEED. If you do not have a copy to this because basically every single physical copy ever has already been sold because the book is now banned try to find a pdf online for free there is a whole bunch of them if you look enough, but if you're being lazy you can just DM me and I will send you a copy of the Google doc. This has uhh EVERYTHING. But if you're too lazy to read the whole entire thing 100% read the one about "bars" so that way you know which protein bars to get
Speaking of protein bars make sure to always have like one or two in your bag. Just in case you end up feeling really dizzy and you're worried you're going to pass out or something I would have one in your bags that way you can urgently eat it at all times.
F@$t|ng can be good. If you can't get a all to it just used to stop watch on your phone and know that it takes 19 hours for ketosis to start AKA your body starts burning your dumbass f@t. Maybe do more research on this because I'm not 100% an expert on here so feel free to correct me people. I would start with maybe a 12 hour one and work your way up. Don't go past 72 unless ur 100% sure you'll be ok. We don't wanna pass out here that's not good for anyone.
Having a #1 th!NSP0 board or person is something that helped me- idk about you I would just go on Pinterest and look up "Wl motivation" so it doesn't flag you and find something.
MAKE MOOTS. TRUST ME #1 ADVICE HERE.
TAKE YOUR DAMN VITAMINS. No I'm not 100% on what vitamins to take here because I myself literally do not take them because I don't have access to them right now. But I know that there's a whole bunch of people who have actually good information about what kind of vitamins to take so--follow their advice not mine because I don't want to accidentally give you crappy advice
This is like really random but like don't stress if your food isn't like organic or aesthetic looking. Trust me 95% of the time fruit is fruit so if it's not some non-GMO organic fruit I promise you'll probably get almost the same health benefits or whatever from fruit (sorry people who are bitches about only eating organic don't yell at me I know it's a difference)
PVRG!NG DOES NOTHING. DO NOT START IT TRUST ME THERE IS NO BENEFITS TO IT (I'm not judging people who are struggling with it right now don't worry ik where your at I'm trying to stop pvrging rn actually I'm not shaming the m!@ people<3) Ik none of this in general is that good but trust me just thr after effects of pvrging is not worth thr half a pound and 1/6 of the ca!s you got rid of
That's about all I have right now. Maybe I'll make a part two
Xoxo ,
Vanessa đ€đȘœ
#tw ana blĂžg#@na motivation#tw b1nge#3d f4st#3d not sheeran#3d but not sheeren#soupinmyshoes#soupinmypockets#st4rv3#đving#đve#sleeping and đving#putting the â in âving#âïž ing motivation#âïžvation goals#âïžrving#âïžve
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LINGER | 4,3k
old man!logan x fem!reader
SUMMARY: Being another mutant who survived Charlesâ seizures, you are forced to live alongside Logan. The things between you and Logan goes on and off, fragile and indefiniteâyet it always lingers.
TAGS AND WARNINGS: smut, mdni! mentions of blood, death, and grief (not logan), lots of angst but lots of fluff too, old man!logan x mutant!reader but unspecified mutation so itâs up to you! minor injuries, nightmares, miscommunication, kind of slow burning (?), pining, logan calls himself âold manâ several times, petnames, reader being called âkidâ by logan, unrequited love but actually requited (just angst all overâŠ), logan howlett is bad at feelings, love confessions, virgin!reader, dirty talk, praise kink, p with little plot, fingering (f receiving), insecure!reader and insecure!logan, logan loves reader, unprotected p in v.
NOTES: not proofread! bello! âm not new to writing but new to writing fan fictions hehe! old man!logan is kinda my everything and this fic is kindaaaa self indulgent. listened to âlingerâ by the cranberries while writing this :0 feel free to send reqs and feedback to my inbox. this was mere my writing practice and my attempt to gain motivation in life. oh, sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes, eng is not my first language! hope this isnât my first and last fic.. see u all <3 or not....:p
'Shamed what happened back in the East.Â
A saying you heard but donât know where. Even who said it. Still, you remember all of itâtheir cries of death, their pain, their suffering.Â
A haunting vivid memory in X-Mansion, where all of your friends are lying on the ground, in painâand you could not do anything. You just watched. In pain, too. There was a thought which you think that it was the end. You were already accepting it with open arms, welcoming your exit.
Then your mutation saved you from your fate. Your survival, at the price of grief.Â
âYouâre doing it again.âÂ
Jolted by his comment, you dart your eyes away from the road and into your lap. âDo what?â You mutter quietly, not sure if he even hears it.Â
But he always does. âNever mind.â Logan sighs in the damp air. You both know it is better not to talk about what exactly happened back then. Talking is not what you two are best at either. âI asked you a question earlier, you hungry?âÂ
âA little, yeah. Yeah.â Your gaze sways to his driving figure: how his right hand grips the steering wheel way too tightly, how his soft blue shirt is all wrinkled, how his tired eyes look with those heavy eye bags, and the grey hairs all over his untrimmed beard. He looks worn out. But so are you.
The two of you have been doing this for God knows how long. Wandering from one place to the other with Charles in the backseat. Looking for a place to settle but not really looking for it either. Itâs simply a suicide travel.Â
He makes a turn towards a cheap-looking diner on your left.Â
Northern Mexico.Â
A place where you both decided to settle indefinitely. Alongside Charles, who lives in the abandoned smelting plant not so far away. Logan takes up a job as a limo driver in El Paso and every time you tell him you donât want him to be so far away during the daytime, he always says: One of us has to earn the money, kid.
Kid.Â
To this day, after time living together, you arenât sure of the nature of the relationship between you and Logan. Companions? Friends? Strangers?
Well, one thing you are sure of is you are not his adopted child and he does not see you in that way, either. He sees you in the same way he sees Charles, as his responsibility.Â
Before all this, you were aware of him: what he looked like, his mutation, his reputation. But you do not know him personally. You passed him once or twice in the hallways after your studies. That was it.Â
All of a sudden, heâs all you have. The only other sane mutant you are fully sure, survived Charlesâ seizure. Still, you two werenât friends before and sure arenât friends now. In this shared house, you and Logan are strangersâforced to live together on the sole base of sentimentality.
Deep down, you know there is something more. Something vulnerable, down there. Something fragile. There are moments like where-
Your thoughts are frozen by the sudden creaking sound of the front door. The sight of Logan all bloody and bruised entered your wandering vision. The book you were reading is now abandoned as you get up from the comfortable sofa.Â
âW-what happened?â Rushing into him with quick movements, this is not the first time he returns all beaten up but it is still a blow to you every single time. You canât stand the thought of losing another person in your life, even if you convince yourself that he is a mere stranger.Â
His white shirt has reds in many parts, and heâs bleeding all over the house, âSome fuckinâ kids tried to mess up with the limo. F-fuck.â With the blood smeared all over his hand, he managed to get into the shared bathroom, his breath coming out short.Â
âWait!â You rushed to his figure with an aid kit in your trembling hands. He slouched forward, cursing himself. Gently, you wrap your arms around him before he falls and help him lean his back on the white tiles behind.Â
He shakily opened the buttons of his shirt and you could see everything. While you grab all you need and start cleaning his wounds, he looks at you with his half-lidded eyes. The intense gaze that always makes you want to shy away from himâyou are not so sure why.Â
After a while, you kneel beside him and break eye contact, âDid you kill them?â you question him carefully as you tread his wounds. Not sure how he would answer tonight.Â
Logan grunts when you touch one of his nasty wounds, still looking at you, âNo. But you should see them.âÂ
You feel uncomfortable at his reply, retreating your hands and facing the mirror, looking down at the sink, âI donât want to see them, Logan.â At some point, as you search around for more supplies to treat his injuries that still havenât healed by his mutation, you break down crying. Out of your realisation, you have been holding back your worries and sobs since you saw him.Â
Logan, who notices this, pulls you abruptly into him and seats you on one of his thighs. âHey, hey, why yâcrying huh? Hm?âÂ
You hate this. You hate how you suddenly cry at the sight of him, at the reminder that this is all finite. His big calloused hand starts rubbing up and down your back, gently shushing you. You hate how he knows you all too well by now.Â
âI told you to stop doing the job. I-I told you that this⊠this would happen. Iâm always scared. I thoughtâ â You let out one big sob or whimper, youâre not so sure. Not when heâs cradling you in his arms like this. âYou canât heal like you used to, you canât barelyââ
âHey, shh, pretty girl,â Pretty girl. You blush at that. âIâm here with you now, arenât I? Thatâs all that matters.â He shushed you oh, so tenderly. Such a paradox could live inside a man like him. Logan forces himself to smile, âArenât I? Come on, feel me up.â Logan sits you up straight on his lap.Â
He always does this. Giving out, you delicately place both of your hands on the sides of his face, feeling him up. He watches you brush around his greying beard while holding your waist in place, drawing circles on your skin. âThere âya go. Iâm here.â
When you feel calm down and tired, you rest your heavy head on his shoulders, âMaybe I should take a turn going to townââÂ
He cuts you off while lifting your chin, forcing you to look at him right in the eyes that you were trying so hard to dodge. Without him saying any words, you know he is saying no. Your assumption is confirmed when he shakes his head slightly, looking down at you sternly.Â
âItâs just me and you, Logan.â You say meekly and defeatedly.Â
âExactly. That's why itâs gotta be me, baby.âÂ
Moments later, you continue mending his cuts. And moments after that, youâre both lying together on the bed. Holding each other in slumber. Your head on his chest, his hands on your back.Â
Through these delicate moments, you know him. That he is not simply a stranger to you. That this means something more.Â
But he does not talk about those moments. Which makes you feel like your perspective is an illusion that you made by yourself, untrue. A false memory that you created in your head because you do feel something for him.Â
In the morning, you wake up alone. Logan is nowhere to be seen around the room. Only traces of his scent are left on the white sheets wrapping around your figure.Â
When you open the bedroom door, there he is. Sitting on the kitchen chair, his slouched back facing you while he sips on his black coffee which he secretly hates. He likes the coffees that you frequently make for him more. You donât know that. He never told you.Â
âLogan?â you call out to him. But he didnât budge away from reading the newspaper. As if you werenât there at all. As if moments like last night never happened. As if itâs true that you are merely a responsibility to him. A burden, even. You hang your head low at his ignorance and retreat to your room.
Such a paradox could live inside a man like him.Â
Other moments happened too. One afternoon, his phone suddenly rings while he is out visiting Charles. With all the self-control you have, you try to ignore it, ignore everything that connects to him because it upsets you. But your curiosity gets ahead of your mind and you pick his phone up.Â
âHello?â you place the thing on the side of your left ear. No sound, nothing, nada. Before you know it, you feel a presence behind you and Logan is looking down at you with that look again.Â
Snatching his phone away from you, not so gently, he mutters, âHow many times do I have to tell you not to touch my stuff, huh?â The way he remarks and the way he looks at you makes you feel small and embarrassed. These are the moments where he is not going to cradle you in his armsâyou know that.Â
Your eyes darted to the floor. The lines on the wood oak floor suddenly seemed very interesting, âIâm- Your phone wouldnât stop ringing. So I thoughtââÂ
âYou thought? What? You have the right to?â Logan cuts you off before you finish your poor excuse of explanation. âYou have your own pile of shit and I have mine. Stay out of my shit. You understand?âÂ
Sometimes there are sparks of rage inside of you that make you gain bits of confidence, âWell, we technically live in the same place, soââÂ
Though, Logan quickly dims off that spirit by not letting you finish, âUnderstand?â
You limit yourself to a nod in agreement because you donât trust your voice. Confusion often fills up your body to the brim. These are the moments you hate. How he treats you differently at one time and another. You hate how he makes you so weak. You hate how he has you wrapped around his fingers. You hate that you donât have the same effect on him.Â
âItâs not your fault, darling.â Charles reasons you one time when you visit him for weekly check-ups. âThat man has issues! Even after all these years, I still could not fully understand him and his... complexities.â You force your lips to quirk up a little and pretend as if you justify that, too. But you're in so deep.
Weeks after weeks, it went on like that. You, confused. Logan, indifferent all the time. You miss his touches. Was it just a game to him?
Paralyzed, the color red clouded your vision. You see bodies lying everywhere, dead bodies. The room smells like dread. With what is left, your power manages to slow down the pain that rushes in you. Protect you from the incursion.Â
Here, there is no way to hide. Their cries echo through the halls. Their screams still haunt you.Â
If you could have saved yourself, you could have saved them too. But you watched them die.
You watched them die.Â
You watched them die.Â
Inside the dark of your room, you did not realize that you had been thrashing and screaming in your sleep. The nightmare came to you again. Grief shows through in the form of tears, flowing into your cheeks as you open your eyes in fear, âI let them die, I let them die, I let them dieââÂ
âSweetheart?â a voice comes from outside your room. Near but so far away.
You kept repeating those words until a figure finally came up in front of you, Logan. He calls out your name, âHey, no, noââ Now he is touching you all over, trying to stop you from moving rapidly and hurting yourself in the process. Sitting you in front of him and making you face him. Closing your eyes for a brief second, your chest heaving up and down, you remember again and you panic, âI-I watched them dieââ your voice wavers.Â
âNo, shh, keep those eyes open. Youâre okay. Iâm here.â His hands hold your face and his thumb brush off some of the hair in your wet cheeks.Â
âI couldâve saved them. They were dying, they were in painââ You cry out as the scene on that day played out again. Daunting and haunting you without your consent. Always lingering around on the back of your neck. Only one person knows what it feels like.
Loganâs eyes soften while he remembers that bitter memory too, âSo were you,â His voice coaks out, soothing you, âSo were you. âs not your responsibility.â
At this, you put your arms around his neck and grip him tightly, finally comprehending what is happening. âCalm down, baby. Loganâs here. âM not leaving.â He hushed you back to your senses.Â
After minutes of him comforting you in silence, his eyes dart to your bleeding lips which you bite to stifle your sobs. With much surprise, Logan parts them and caresses them. Looking at them then back at your eyes, then at your lips again. Your foreheads are now touching and you find yourself nose-to-nose to him.
In your chest, your heart beats so loudly that you fear he may actually hear it. Then with that look that he gives you again, every logical thought and pride you were trying to build, collapses inside you, making you putty in his arms. As you always do.Â
But tonight, something more is happening, âLogan.â You managed to call out his name in a whisper, begging for something. He feels the same way too, âI know, baby. I know.â
Logan scans your face, searching for any signs of discomfort as he starts to kiss each one of your cheeks. He tells himself repeatedly in his mind, âNo, not her. Anyone but her, you dipshit. Youâll lose her if you do this.â A belief that he has been telling himself every day.
What you donât know about Logan, after all this time, is how he is afraid that if he touches you, if he shows you his feelings, you will be gone from this world. If he cares about you, he will lose you. He is in fear that the cruel world will take you away. As it always does to people he cared.
Bad shit happens to people I care about. And he managed to hold onto this thinking and compose himself every time.
Until now.Â
Your whimpers and pleads get to himâhe cannot hold back anymore, he doesnât want to hold back anymore. He peppers your face with kisses, everywhere but where you need him the most, your lips. âL-LoganâŠâ you feel your face getting hotter every moment. âAh, p-pleaseââ, you greedily grind your lower body onto his thighs.Â
âFuck, sweetheart.â He groans while breathing all over your face, âYou have no idea what I would do to you, the shit Iâd do for you.â One of his hands gets under your nightgown and he succeeds in squeezing your tit. âAh!â you squeak in surprise and quickly get embarrassed when he chuckles at the noises you make.Â
When your gaze meets him, the force can no longer be stopped. What you both try to bury deep down, what you two were locking away in a box, is bolting itself abruptly. The thumps of his heart match yours. There is no going back now.
While breaking a promise, he makes a new promise to himself: that heâd protect you before all the bad shit happens. He will not let any of it get to you.Â
After a brief staring contest and lingering doubts, he loses himself, mutters âFuck this shitâ under his breath, and locks his lips on yours, melting you completely into his embrace. You gasp into his mouth and tighten your hug around him. His tongue finds yours sensually as he cradles your head to deepen the kiss. It was the first time he kissed you.Â
âItâs just you and me, kid.â He blurted out against your mouth and you could not conceal your smile. Whatever you both were trying to suppress, itâs now roaming free in liberation.Â
His mouth grins at your reaction and before he can stop himself, he confesses, ââM sorry for how I acted these days. This old man was so fuckinâ afraid of how things would turn out.âÂ
You were about to say itâs okay but he continues, âBut he will try his best from now on. What dâya think? Hm?â Logan looks over at you hesitantly, afraid of what youâd reply. His âconfessionâ does sound way better in his head, when he practiced beforehand. You didnât know that, of course.Â
A giggle went out of your lips, âI think Iâd like that.â you say breathlessly before kissing him again.Â
Our brain is meant to be effective. It is not designed to be right at all times. Well, sometimes we are right, but we experience the wrongs more. What we thought we knew, we donât. What we thought we didn't knowâmaybe we do. Especially about another person and their feelings. Similar to what you thought Logan Howlett feels.Â
Following that night, things had changed between the both of you. The âboundariesâ separating you two are torn into pieces, in a good way. Now you are reminded by the nature of your relationship through everything. When he comes back home to you every day, when he puts his arms around you while you are cooking dinner, when he kisses the crown of your head before sleeping, when he fixes your favorite kitchen chair, and many other whens.Â
Including now, when he kisses you so roughly and gently at the same time, fueled by the desire he kept while he was still stubborn back. Logan hiked up your dress until he could feel your breasts, pinching one nipple. âMissed youâ missed you so much today.â He says while kissing down between your chest and your stomach, âMissed this,â somewhere in between. You are not so sure.Â
âTell me, did you miss me too, Little Missy?â Logan, who is kneeling before, tilts his head upwards so he can see your face. You cover your blushing face, shying away from him and his question like you are used to, âYou know the answer.â
He picks you up from the kitchen with one hand and puts you down on your shared bed, âOh, you donât wanna say it?â You shake your head in an attempt to tease him. Lying down on your back and with parted legs, you can feel his rough beard while he kisses your inner thigh. âAight' then, we may just see it.âÂ
By seeing it, he means ripping your white underwear, the one you adored the most and has a pink ribbon, âShh. Iâll buy you another one.â Logan quickly says before he can hear your protesting remarks. Â
âReally liked that one... ah!â The tip of his tongue probes your entrance without much warning, lapping up and down your cunt. âSee, baby? You missed me so much. Sheâs dripping here.âÂ
You feel embarrassed with how he is looking at you down there as if he is inspecting you. Unconsciously, you try to close your legs slightly. Logan does not like this as delivers a soft spank to one of your butt cheeks. âSo shy all the time when itâs just your old man.â Â
Now, his rough hands are gripping each one of your thighs and keeping you in place. His tongue lapped at your pussyïżœïżœfrom your hole to your clit, circling and sucking until you can feel his beard slicked up by your juices. Whimpering, your hands desperately pull at his hair, pulling him closer and closer as if he isnât already eating you up.Â
He chuckles darkly when you whine pathetically at the movement of his one thick finger entering your wet hole. âSuch a pretty pussy, baby.â He huffed and looked up at you with pure animalistic need as his fingers worked your walls, hitting that gummy spot that had you crying.
âPlease! P-pleaseâLogan. Want you inside,â This plead makes Logan stop his actions and glance up at you, questioningly. You werenât sure about a lot of things, but you are sure about this. ââM ready, pleasepleaseâŠâ Â
Logan has been denying you his cock for who knows how long. All this time, he gets you off by his mouth, thighs, fingers, anything except his cock. He always has an excuse, âYouâre not ready for me, baby.â Or âThis ainât about me, kid.â Or âMy old bones are too tired today. Next time, yeah?â Each one of them frustrates you.Â
Your virginity is making him hold himself back. You know this, he knows this. Deep down, he still thinks he is a filthy man who does not fully deserve you and that he is ruining you. He thinks by not penetrating you by his cock, he gains some sense of decency but he really is just unsure. Not about you, no, never. About himself.Â
But when you look at him with those big eyes while sprawling yourself bare to him, how could he deny you? âAre you sure? Fuck. Canât hold myself back anymore.â Logan takes off his crumpled white shirt, undoes his belt, and tosses them away, making a clinking sound that echoes through the room. His eyes grew dark with raw desire as he brought down his pants and fists his large cock in his hand. All while looking at you.Â
âYes! Please, please, give it to me. âCan take it!â You snapped with excitement and lean up, pressed a kiss to a part of his greying beardâthe older man grins at your eagerness. âYouâre going to be the death of me, pretty girl.â Logan lifts both of your legs and puts his mouth on your mound once more, making sure that youâre ready and you havenât changed your mind.
Between his hunger licks on your pussy and the probes of his thick fingers, he mutters, âI fuckinâ love you.â And that statement itself makes you cry out his name and come all over his fingers and tongue, âL-Logan!â
âAtta girl.â You arch your back in a euphoric state of your orgasm. He could smell you. Every part of you. âSo beautiful. Canât believe youâre all mine.âÂ
He helps you remove every fabric you had on, your pretty white sundress, your bra, your socksâeverything that is separating you and him. Now you and he are completely bare, âAll this for your old man, huh?â He mumbles the rhetorical question into the chilly air, his hands ghosting over your perked nipples and pinching them softly, then kisses each one of them. He goes down on you again and kisses your clit one more time.Â
The sight of him makes your breath caught in your throat. You swallow your spit at the look of greying bread glistening with your cum, at the sight of his thick cock springing against his stomach. âIs my baby ready for me?â You nod your head eagerly at him, assuring him that this is what you want.Â
With one hand on his cock, he lowers himself between your bodies, âUse your big girl words, darlinââ He nudges at your already wet entrance, waiting for your response, taking his time with you.Â
ââM ready..! I want this, want you.â You pamper kisses all over his face the same way when he comforts you during your nightmare. His forehead meets yours and he kisses your lips gently as a form of understanding your needs. âHold on tâme, my sweet girl.âÂ
Then his tip slips inside and you gasp into his mouth, âGood girl. My good girl. You can take it.â You tighten your grip around him as he pushes himself deep inside you, âD-Doing so good, baby. Just a little more,â down to the hiltâhis cock bottoms out, âThere yaâ go, princess.â Logan coos at your trembling state.Â
He swallows your moans with a hungry kiss, his tongue exploring the insides of your mouth. âFeel so fuckinâ good. I fuckinâ love you.â There he says it again while he pulls himself all the way out to just the tip, then all the way back inâmaking you throw your head upwards.
Logan growls and kisses your bare neck, leaving some marks on it but you donât care, in fact, you want him to. âI love you too, Logan.â You utter those words to him as he rams into you, his thrusts going faster and faster as he loses himself watching you. The friction of his cock against the velvet walls of your cunt is addictive, the pleasure makes the older man grunts.Â
He thrusts harder, his hips slamming into home, the sound of flesh hitting flesh fills the room, alongside your little ah ah ah's .Â
"Cum for me, baby. Come for your old man." With one final, powerful thrust, he releases inside your tight heat, his warm seed filling you as he curses and lets his head fall onto your embrace.
"Ah!" You shudder as you clench tight around him and milk his cock. Your eyes rolled back in your head, your body giving out of control as you experience another release of the night.Â
Logan lifts his head to scan over the scene before him. He had never seen anything like it and he had seen a lot of shit. Your figure is all fucked out and filled. He didnât think anything could be more beautiful than what he has right now. And he says it again before bringing his lips into yours, âItâs just you and me.âÂ
You tiredly return his kiss and look at him with a soft smile, âItâs just you and me.âÂ
His meaningless and plain life becomes something again because of you. You are the anchor of his life and his reason not only to stay but to fight and protect.Â
Logan knows there are things that can be stopped, but then there is love.
He is in so deep too. This time, the both of you willingly let it linger. Itâs just you and him.
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College au veritas ratio just because
He's one of the smarter kids, joins like a hundred clubs but leaves them all to make his own, it's practically a tutoring class for anyone who joins but he grills and shreds his own club members to pieces so it's practically barren except a few unlucky souls and other intellectuals, no idea which classes he takes because when you ask he just lists every single one of them including ones that you're sure arent provided by the college
But he's so annoying too. For some reason, ever since he's realised you're in some of his classes, he makes it his life mission to annoy you to death. He sits beside you in every lecture, passing on pointers in specific topics, telling you to stay with him after class in the library when one of your professors doesn't teach well, drags you to those gruesome 8 AM classes, forces you to sift through the bulks of study material he has with him. It makes you groan dramatically, lean back into your chair with a hand over your head, languishing the sacrifice of all your free time which is shrugged off by him, as he harshly tugs you back to reality.
If he doesn't occupy your time with studies, he does it with class or club projects. It doesn't even matter if you share any of them with him â not like Veritas isn't familiar with those topics. He's scoffing at you as you scrunch your eyes at a topic you've never heard before in your life, before explaining in depth about it and practically teaching you half of the entire syllabus. You wonder how you can fit it into the cramped slides?
And that's not all â he goes over your class projects himself, and swears up and down they're not good enough.Â
You suspect he may have ulterior motives, however. Everytime you sit down with him to âredoâ the work, he swiftly shifts the conversation to more personal topics. Perhaps.. he just feels lonely? Asking him directly is useless, he shuts down the idea immediately, and prattles on about how his time is too precious. But you can tell from the slight fidgeting of his hand towards yours, or his bored eyes scanning the crowd until they burst with vitality when they fall on you, or the dampening of his mood when you tell him you're actually busy for once and won't be able to make it to a study session.
Maybe.. you can accompany him for a little longer. It doesn't take much to open up to a person, right?
#moonink#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr x y/n#hsr x you#hsr x male reader#hsr x reader#hsr veritas#hsr veritas ratio#hsr dr ratio#hsr drabbles#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail dr ratio#honkai star rail veritas ratio#honkai star rail veritas#honkai sr#veritas ratio x reader#veritas ratio#veritas ratio x you#veritas ratio hsr#veritas x reader#dr ratio hsr#dr ratio x reader#dr ratio#dr ratio x y/n#dr ratio x gender neutral reader#dr ratio x you
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Random facts about your future spouse
Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.
⧠Masterlist ⧠Paid readings
Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.
Pile 1: Your future spouse is younger than you, but by nature very responsible and mature, quite reasonable and soberly looks at life, objective and honest, not one of those who hides the truth, can sometimes be too straightforward. They may look harsh, cold and unapproachable, but next to you they are very gentle, romantic and caring. This person is very fond of arranging romantic surprises, and in general tends to devote a lot of time and attention to lover. They can often arrange dates or give you gifts, talk a lot of tenderness. They also take great care of their figure, they probably have an athletic physique and they can often exercise and monitor their diet to maintain their figure. Their profession or occupation is closely related to a managerial position, they can work in the field of law, research, in the field of exact sciences, in particular physics and mathematics, in the field of medicine. They are quite educated and constantly improve their skills, in their free time they prefer reading books or listening to lectures or videos on a narrow specialized topic. They may be from a conservative and religious family. They also don't really like stability, they like to change something in their lives, for example, they can often rearrange rooms, they can experiment with style, or they can often get out of the house and do something they like, because they don't like to stay at home for a long time.
Pile 2: Your future spouse is quite an intelligent, erudite person, when talking to them, you may get the impression that your spouse knows everything and can answer any of your questions â and they really understand many topics. Perhaps their line of work is closely related to writing texts, they may be interested in journalism, writing, philosophy, and like to watch documentaries. By their nature, they are very calm, they can be slow, they have a relaxed speech, posture, facial expression and in general they are very relaxed in life, they are probably one of those who do not worry about trifles and live one day. They are quite responsive, kind, talkative and like to chat a lot, but they also like to listen to others. Perhaps in the past they were fond of horse riding or they dream of trying to do it! They are also fond of gardening, perhaps their family has its own farm or a house outside the city with its own vegetable garden. They are not afraid of competition, on the contrary, competition only motivates them, adds excitement. This applies to everything, even games are taken seriously and can perceive games not as entertainment, but as competition, to win at any cost.
Pile 3: Your future spouse is a calm and reasonable person, they cannot be called conflicted, but if make them angry, they always know what to say so that they close their mouth to the interlocutor and that their opponent feels ashamed and regrets that he even started arguing. They have a stable job and a stable income, it's hard to say that they are striving for promotion, they are satisfied with what they have now, they are completely satisfied with their career. They can do charity work, volunteer from time to time, or work in animal shelters. Although they are calm for the most part, they tend to worry about their future from time to time, they can also have a lot of fears and they can panic too much when something does not go according to plan or when they face the slightest setback. By themselves, they are quite detached, they like to be alone, they are thoughtful and carefully choose their words before saying something and think a lot before doing anything. In terms of relationships, they are hardly romantic, but they are very loyal and will be with their loved one until the end, they respect their partner and support him in any decisions. The union with such a person is very strong and long.
Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback đ
#tarot#pick a card#tarot cards#pick a card reading#pick a pile#pick a pile reading#pac#tarot reading#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick an image
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Genshin men and their dates with you. | Neuvillette, Alhaitham, Childe, Kinich x Gn!Reader
The genshin men brain rot is real-
Content: Fluff, established relationship, dates, Ajaw is his own warning, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!
((Not proofread))
ăNeuvillette
He wants to experience the finer and simpler things in life with you. Whether it's you having dinner in one of Fountaine's most prestigious restaurants or just a calm walk along the beachside, it was all the same to him. Seeing the happy and content sparkle in your eyes left him deeply satisfied with each outing you had. And they were always very special to him, since he rarely had a lot of time to spend with you due to his highly demanding position in the court.
This, therefore, motivated him to plan most of your dates as a way to make it up to you. He felt happy whenever you expressed your excitement to him about them, pride filling his chest at your glow. But he enjoys you surprising him too after long, hard weeks of work. It makes him feel loved to see you put so much effort into him as well, no matter how grand or small the date is.
Being in your presence is more than enough already.
ăALHAITHAM
Alhaitham is very subtle about his affections for you. He doesn't ever outright proclaim his love for you outloud and instead simply settles on showing you the extent of it through his actions. He is very analytical regarding most things, especially you, and therefore is quick to note what you like and don't like to do date wise. He doesn't generally care for what it is, as long as it's private and between you two away from prying eyes.
This often ends with dinners at home, where you cook together or visit the Akademiya's library for new books you could enjoy reading in silence, whilst you cuddle on the couch or in bed. He sees your dates as a way to wind down after a long week of his tiring work, in which he unfortunately barely sees you, if at all.
Your dates are often very simple and quiet, but you both wouldn't have it any other way.
ăCHILDE
Dates with him, of course, often end up being very lavish and grand. He wants to impress you and see that happy smile on your face that made his dead eyes glint. But after a while of dating, he would probably start having more calmer and wholesome days with you, that don't make him feel like he has to wow you at any moment. You have to reassure him that he is doing great a lot and also take over planning dates as well. You two essentially just rake turns and go along with whatever the other one has arranged for the day.
It made him feel good to know that it doesn't actually matter what exactly he does with you, as you'd always be happy to spend time with him. It takes a lot of pressure off his shoulders.
With that said, your dates eventually become wholesome baking events with his younger sibling, who absolutely adore you! It warms his heart to watch you laugh and talk to his family like it was your own, and he finds himself unable to look away from you. They may not be the most private or traditional "dates" at that point anymore... but seeing you all together in one place, being happy and content with life, made a part of him heal at last.
ăKINICH
He loves spending all of his free time with you, no matter what exactly you do. If you want to go on a walk, he'd lead the way without a moment of hesitation. If you want to go for a swim, he'd be quick to take you to a secluded area only he knows of. If you just wanted to stay indoors and enjoy a nice cuddle session with him, then he'd gladly agree to that, too. He's a man of few words and just lets you take the reigns when it comes to date planning. On special days like anniversaries or birthdays, he'll try coming up with nice activities too, ofcourse.
Unfortunately, however, a certain someone always has to tag along one way or another. Ajaw has a personal vendetta against everyone and everything, so he attempts to sabotage your dates at any chance he gets, just to get back at Kinich. This often gets him banished for a time out until you are done, much to his absolute dismay.
Kinich is just glad that you take it all so lightly, considering how his unwilling partner can be at times...
#genshin impact#genshin impact fanfic#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x gender neutral reader#genshin x reader#genshin x y/n#genshin x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin kinich x reader#genshin kinich#genshin neuvillette x reader#genshin neuvillette#genshin childe x reader#genshin childe#kinich#kinich x reader#childe#childe x reader#neuvillette#neuvillette x reader#genshin impact alhaitham#alhaitham#al haitam x reader#al haithem
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hunchback of notre-dame [Wade Wilson/Deadpool x Reader] (Marvel)
You get this ridiculous idea that you just need to mark a huge heart into his back.
Word count: 1,945
Warnings: sexual innuendos and jokes all around, mention of logan being a 'free pass' in your relationship lol, wade having a hard time grasping intimacy that isn't of a sexual nature, wade feeling self-conscious and speaking badly of his own appearance. established relationship. so many ridiculous and over-the-top pet names.
kiiinda loosely based off this ask- "Deadpool with s/o who keeps biting him? Not sexually (mostly) but I need to CHOMP this man."
âPlease? Please please please please please please? Come onnnn sweetie-pie. Darling-dear. Baby boy. Baby.â
âOh my God never call me âdarling-dearâ again, what is this, medieval england?â
âDonât change the subject!â
âGeez Louise why do you wanna do that so bad? Is it like a biting kink or something?â
âIt could be.â You shrug.
âIâm listening.â
You roll your eyes at his reply. ââCourse now you are. I just wanna see how it looks!â
âItâs gonna heal in like two seconds, you know that, right?. Iâm not sure itâll even show.â
âYeah but get this- what if you tried really really hard to stop it from healing?â
âI⊠donât think thatâs how it works, pookie-bear,â he tells you, booping your nose along with the ridiculous pet name.
You ignore it. âYou donât know that!â
He stops to think for a couple seconds before letting out an exaggerated sigh. âFine. This once.â
âYes! Take your shirt off. And throw it in the wash, how many days have you been wearing it for?â
âOh, too many to count, sweetheart.âÂ
âThatâs gross, Wade.â
âHey now, Iâm gonna revoke your biting privileges!â He threatens, but proceeds to take the shirt off as and throw it in the hamper anyway.
âNuh-uh, no take-backsies.â
âThen stop insulting my habits!â He sits down on the bed and you sit yourself on your legs right behind him.Â
âWhat? When have I ever done that?â You feign confusion, kissing his shoulder.
âNow thatâs just gaslighting. Youâre a gaslighter. A mean, evil, toxic gaslighter and youâre gaslighting me.â
You laugh. âOh whatever, grown man who needs to be reminded to do his laundry. You ready?â
âNo?â
âWhy do you even care so much? You get, like, stabbed on the daily.â
âYeah but this isnât⊠stabbing. Stabbing Iâm used to.â
âI can stab you if you want me to.â
âCan you really?âÂ
âIf youâre into that,â you play along.
âOh you know I am, baby. No but thatâs not what I meant.â
You kiss his lower back without a warning, and you canât contain a smile at the way he shivers. âWhat do you mean, then?â
âThis is⊠different.â He fidgets with his own hands as he talks, eyes trained on them over his own lap.
âWhat, not every person youâve ever dated thatâs asked to bite a heart into your back?â You continue kissing your way up his back, up until where you want said heart to start.
âOh no, everyone asks me for that on the reg actually. Iâm actually super mega lucky that I heal so fast, otherwise Iâd just have to come home with all those hearts on my back all the time and you would not be happy with that would you?â
You punch his shoulder lightly and he smiles. âYou bet I wouldnât! Only I get to do this, you hear me?â You exclaim, feigning offense.
âWolvie carved a heart into my thigh once. Hottest thing to ever happen to me. No offense.â
âNone taken.â You bite the skin of his back right where youâd just kissed before. Not so hard that itâs meant to hurt, itâs not that kind of night, but not as if heâd break either, since, well, he kind of canât. You suck lightly on the skin to make sure to leave a tiny mark and itâs a little funny to be doing this with no ulterior motives. âEspecially since that for sure never happened.â
âIt could have.âÂ
âIf Logan ever carves a fucking heart into your thigh and Iâm not there to witness it I will be so mad.âÂ
âHey I thought we had a free pass with him!â
âNot if Iâm not involved! Or at least get to watch.â
âAye, aye, captain. Anything else you wanna witness between us, sweetcheeks?â
âIâll tell you when Iâm done, how about that?â You grin before resuming your work, biting and sucking on the scarred skin until you can see the aligned marks almost forming the shape you want them to.Â
Itâs a shock that it gets him to shut up for even just a few seconds, so itâs no surprise that the silence doesnât last all that long. âThis isâŠÂ Itâs different⊠Itâs⊠Itâs really intimate isnât it? Like overwhelmingly so. Is it hot in here, are you hot?â
You stop immediately. âHey. Donât freak out on me. I know I insisted a little but I didnât think you were hesitating âcause you were uncomfortable. I wouldnât have-âÂ
âNo- no no no no no, itâs fine. Itâs⊠Nice. Itâs silly, but itâs nice. Just different.â
You stare at him until he manages to get himself to look up at you and nod, easing your worries and letting yourself believe him. âOkay. But only if youâre sure. And donât call me silly!â
âYouâre making it really hard, sugartits.â
âHey!â You flick the back of his head.
âOw! What was that for? Itâs obvious that by âitâ I meant my dick. I was dirty talking. Clearly.â
âYouâre ridiculous.â You bite into his skin again. He stays still and weirdly quiet once again, eyes closed and still shivering occasionally as you trace kisses along his back before following them with bites and, finally, the main goal- the hickeys.Â
âYou done?â
âAlmost. Missing three.â
âThey all still there?â
âTheyâre fading, but theyâre still there. You trying to keep them?â
He shrugs, very obviously trying his hardest to pretend he doesnât care. âWell you wanted me to, didnât you?âÂ
You smile, cupping his jaw with one of your hands and turning his face to the side so you can give him a quick kiss.Â
âAlmost done,â you promise.
âDo it harder.â
âWhat?â
âBite harder.â
âWhat, is this you saying you have some sort of biting kink?â
âFirst of all, you should have guessed that. Second of all, no, I just donât want them to fade so fast.âÂ
âSo someoneâs enjoying the idea now.â
âEnjoying is pushing it. Curious is a better-fitting word.â
âYeah, yeah, sure.â Making the last of the marks, you lean back to admire the work. âDone,â you announce, tracing the shape with the tips of your fingers.Â
âWell, can I see it?â
âYeah.â You pull him to his feet and lead him to the full body mirror in the corner of the room. Turning himself around so his back is facing the mirror, he looks over his shoulder so he can see it too.
âOh.â
âYou donât like it?â
âI thought it would⊠you can barely see it with the⊠you know. The scars.â
âOf course you can see it! Look!â You trace the shape on his skin with your pointer finger for him to see in the reflection.
âYou know what I meant.âÂ
âI- didnât want it to make you feel bad. It was really silly anyway. You can let it heal if you want to.â
âItâs not- itâs not that. Fuck, I know this was supposed to be this whole funny haha silly cutesy little thing but I just- I donât even know why you do it.â
âDo what?â
âPut up with it.â
âWhat exactly?â
âThis. Itâs not really the best view in town, is it?â There he goes, unable to look you in the eye again.
âSorry?â
âLike why would you even want to see this? You just spent like ten minutes staring at my back, which frankly looks like I single-handedly brought leprosy back to fashion and then you- just- like even just my face is enough for people to, like, projectile vomit. Whyâd you make yourself do this right now?â
âI didnât make myself do anything. I had to convince you to let me do itÂŽ.â
ââCause you wanna prove something.â
âWhat would I wanna prove with something so dumb?â
âI donât know. That you donât see me as a monster or something.âÂ
âI donât see you as a monster. But I wasnât trying to prove anything.â
Letting his face fall into his hands, he lets out a frustrated sigh, as if he hadnât meant for the conversation to come to this. And he probably hadnât, really, but he already did so much of pretending to be fine all the time. It sucked to see him like this, but at least he was letting himself be real, be honest with you about the way he was feeling.Â
Youâve come a long way to gain this kind of trust.Â
âSorry. Ruined the moment. Way to go, Wade!â He apologizes.
âYou donât have to say sorry, you know that by now.âÂ
He glances at the mirror again and sees all the marks have gone away already, his mind going elsewhere and interrupting the focus heâd been putting into trying to put off the healing of them. He finally turns around to actually face you. âSee? Canât even have this one fucking silly little thing you wanted. Itâs gone already cause, guess what, Iâm a fucking freak of nature now. Like The Hunchback of Notre-Dame or something. I donât know, I didnât watch the movie.âÂ
You laugh. âWell Iâll just be Esmeralda then.â
âWho the fuck is that?â
âOh youâd find her so hot, dude. But doesnât matter.â You walk up to him, kissing him gently from his ear to his jaw to his neck to his lips. âDonât fucking question why I love you ever again, thatâs, like, so rude.â
âOh that was just so sappy, even for you babe, massive sap vibes all over.â
âOh shut up you big baby.â You place a last gentle kiss on the palm of his hand. âI have an idea.â You pull yourself away from him, disappearing into the bathroom.
âYeah? Does it involve pity sex? Cause Iâm feeling down and I am ready to pounce if you are and-â He raises an eyebrow in question when you come back holding up something. âThat some new vibrator or something?âÂ
âCan you wait like ten seconds?âÂ
âTen seconds? Babe, you know thatâs asking too much of me when Iâm this horny. They donât call me The Flash for nothing.âÂ
âWho is âtheyâ? And what does that even mean?â
âSorry, wrong franchise. You wouldnât get it.â
âHuh?â
âBack to the vibrator.â
âItâs lipstick.â You turn to face the mirror, taking your time applying the dark red color to your lips. âKay, turn around, pretty boy.â
âOooh, kinky! You gonna gimme a rimjob with that lipstick on? Wait is that another kink? We are full of surprises today.â He quips, turning around as asked.Â
âWade please shut up.âÂ
âYou know I canât do th- aaahh what are you doing?â He flinches, taken by surprise by the kiss you place on his back, right where the heart youâd marked on him had been.
âWell you can keep these ones a little longer.â This time, he keeps quiet the entire time you take to mark the heart on his back once again, with the lipstick this time, reapplying it before every other kiss so the marks truly showed.Â
âFuuuckkk Iâm never washing my back again,â he comments as he admires the reflection in the mirror.
âDonât even start.âÂ
âIâm staying dirty forever and itâs gonna be your fault, sweetheart,â he declares as he turns around to face you, and it pleases you to see his mood seems better.Â
âWe are taking a shower in a couple hours and thereâs nothing you can do about it.â
âWe?â He raises his eyebrows suggestively at the implication.
âIf that gets you to actually shower for once.â
âHey, I shower all the time!â
âThen you can shower without me like a big boy.âÂ
âActually I donât take showers I donât know how.âÂ
âYeah, yeah I figured.â
A/N: hey send me stuff for deadpool i actually enjoyed writing this lol it was v fun and cute!! i hope it isn't much too ooc lol i still gotta get the hang of writing wade
#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool x reader#deadpool imagine#wade wilson#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson imagine#logan howlett#wolverine#marvel imagine#marvel x reader#mars writes
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second best |1| hoshina soshiro
PART 1 | PART 2 | BONUS: PART THREE
DISCLAIMER: this fic has a detail that hasn't been mentioned in the anime yet. it isn't a big give-away but if you are sensitive about that kind of thing, please do not proceed. pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader genre: slight angst, comfort, childhood friends to lovers, a bit of that miscommunication trope snippet: hoshina soshiro always ranks second at everything in his life. god forbid he falls behind in the bid for your heart too. word count: 3K trigger warnings: author's note: this fic has two parts - part 2 will be posted a week from today :) likes, replies, and reblogs are always appreciated but please do not repost or steal my writings. this is quite long, but i gotta make you guys work for it. i have also set up a taglist for the second part and the other fics or drabbles, please sign up if you wanna be tagged! as always, feel free to let me know what you think or give me a prompt by sending me an ask here!
hoshina soshiro can claim with extreme conviction that he rarely regrets the decisions he has made so far in his life.
from the time he has set his sights on taking the aptitude exam necessary to be recruited in the anti-kaiju defense force, to following captain ashiro mina to support her as the vice-captain of the third division, to religiously adhering to his daily routine of working out even during his off days so he can stay in peak condition - everything he's done is driven by soshiro's lone motivation: to rise and come on top. Â
unfortunately, as he sees you walking in the hallway of the training building with his brother, soshiro realises that this is one of those rare occurrences where he hopes he gets a do-over.
it was barely 6 in the afternoon so there was still light from outside; the rays of the setting sun penetrating the transparent windowpanes cast an orange glow to the furniture in soshiro's office. it made him remember how he used to always be assigned as the student to clean the classroom back in junior high school: he would sweep first then rearrange the chairs before closing the windows and drawing down the curtains. he would rush up to the rooftop, in time to watch the sun dip below the horizon. he would stay for a few precious minutes, dreaming of a chance to get out of their town. he was fifteen then.
soshiro shook his head a bit. he decided that today - of all days - will not be when he will have a trip down memory lane. yes, despite the number of times he would get reminded of his past today, he refuses to get sidetracked.
the floor is eerily silent, save for the momentary opening and closing of doors; soshiro is aware that almost everyone has left, flocking to the local izakaya not too far from the base to celebrate. he had half the mind to prompt himself to hurry up in order to make it to the get-together on time. the long and gruelling application process took three months before the vetting could begin, but finally, the third division of japan anti-kaiju defense force honoured its new officers that morning. as the nominated head of the selection committee, he oversaw the entire thing, and at the end, he could not help but to feel confident that their force would become stronger from here - this year their roster of applicants boasts high-profile names like that of the very daughter of jakdf's director general and the young master of the prestigious izumo family.
okonogi, sitting in front of him at his office, was sorting the personal forms of the recruits, a big stapler in her right hand. "i can take care of this, vice-captain", she said to him, "they cannot miss you there."
soshiro smupled to his swivel chair, obviously fatigued by the task he and okonogi had been trying to finish for half an hour already. fighting and defeating kaiju is the main part of the job, but handling the paperwork proves to be as challenging. "right, make sure the headquarters get this by the morning along with the report of all their numbers -" the sound of footsteps nearby interrupted soshiro's train of thought.
there were three loud knocks and the door opened, a man with the same eyes as soshiro peeping inside. even okonogi glanced over her shoulder to identify who the intruder is. soshiro stood up.
"just wanted ta drop by before i head back ta himeji", hoshina soichiro's undeniable accent dripped. spotting the huge pile of forms littering the desk, he commented, "seems like ya are a little preoccupied though."
"hoshina fuku taichou, good evening." your voice was firm yet jovial as you greeted him, the kansai inflection rolling off your tongue. you appeared beside soshiro's brother, still wearing the same standard-issue uniform you wore during the event several hours ago when you were sworn in as a new defense force officer. the outfit is snug on you - soshiro had noticed at the ceremony earlier, but up close the top looked almost skintight, the skirt coming up a little above your knees. soshiro can be a high-ranking official within the force, but he is also a man. if only briefly, he stared. "aren't ya going ta the party?"
taken aback that you would drop by his office, it was out of his mouth too fast he couldn't stop it - "how about ya? what are you still doing here with him?" soshiro responded pointedly at you, throwing you the same query but not answering what you asked him. it was too late to take it back; he sounded like he was interrogating you about your presence with the captain of the sixth division. soichiro winced; soshiro pretended not to see. "i- i was just thinking ya went with the officers on the way there", he added, calmer this time.
"oh, i was just catching up with hoshina-kun", you replied without missing a beat. soshiro doesn't know if the accidental force in his question just seconds prior did not intimidate you at all or you simply ignored his tone. "i mean with soichiro-kun. considering ya are hoshina too", you chuckled. soshiro stole a glance at the man at your side while maintaining an empty expression. he found his brother smirking at him; soshiro willed himself not to picture soichiro as an ugly kaiju with a butt for a face.
okonogi who is now attentively eavesdropping on your conversation caught your attention. "pardon for the bother, hoshina-san. we'll be off now."
for an instant, it looked like you were waiting for soshiro to say something in response. to say what, he doesn't know. the eye contact between you and him held up for a moment but broke as quick as it began. tension prickled in the air briefly then ebbed as you turned away from soshiro. "i'll see ya at the party, vice-captain", you gave him a bow before exiting the room. soshiro wanted to stop you; he didn't.
soichiro sighed. "it was nice seeing ya, 'lil bro", he addressed soshiro, his hand patting the latter's shoulder once, twice. "i have paperwork ta worry about too so as much as i'd like to, i won't be able ta attend your division's party. just in case ya want ta know." soshiro didn't look like he had a crumb of interest to know about his brother's occupational responsibilities; he shrugged soichiro's hand off.
soshiro saw you standing outside, leaning on the wall, when he ushered his brother out. "i'll be driving her to the izakaya though", soichiro informed him. "ya should visit our folks when ya have the time. ya should come home sometimes", soichiro continued, a hint of concern evident in his voice. when soshiro did not respond, surprisingly the older hoshina did not look a tiny bit disappointed. instead, soichiro put on a charming smile and waved at okonogi. "okonogi-chan, see ya around!" he tossed a playful wink at her.
soshiro merely watched as you and soichiro walked together, your pace matching his. a few meters away, he saw you listening intently to something soichiro was saying - he is too close - and although he is not within earshot to hear what is being said anymore, he knows it is another one of his brother's bad jokes. it looks like you were trying to suppress it, but a smile was about to dawn on your lips. soshiro felt sick to his stomach all of a sudden.
the party was already in full swing when soshiro arrived - everyone is hungrily feasting on the expensive wagyu beef, drinks flowing endlessly from the bar. everyone is enjoying themselves; even captain ashiro mina can be seen having small talk with the newly sworn-in officers who were eagerly taking notes from her.
you had easily made friends with the other rookies who are now sitting next to you; it was thanks to your group that this event was planned - after enduring long sessions of strenuous physical training every day of every week, you all deserved a night of everyone just gathering to have a good time. soshiro seems to be exempt from the festive atmosphere though.
he picked the seat next to his captain, who greeted him with a curt nod. he proceeded to grab the mug of beer served to him; the first sip registered a sharp bitterness through his mouth but soshiro relished on the flavor as it overtook his senses.
"everything alright?" captain ashiro from his side asked without lifting her gaze from her own drink. "you are being -" she paused, carefully searching to find the right words, âuncharacteristically quiet.â
soshiro picked the glass of beer again, and when he was about to put the lid on his lips, he could sense someoneâs intense stare locked on him. years of being the vice-captain gifted him with equal parts instinct and paranoia so he could not help but scan the room, only to find you, sitting across the room, watching him with a curious expression.
a rowdy group of rookies surrounds you; they are high-fiving each other, laughing at their silly pranks, not minding that all of you are squeezed together at a crowded circle. soft music in the background swelled as everyone cheered and clinked glasses.
soshiro's eyes remained fixed on yours, lasting for what he felt like forever. the buzz of chatter dulled to a distant hum, fading into an almost white noise. his heart raced as he felt his breath catch and his mouth go dry. the corner of your lips curved into a smile and maybe it is the alcohol in his system, but he is certain his cheeks are flushed now.
"huh", captain ashiro lowly exclaimed. soshiro quickly snapped a glance at her. "you talked to her yet?" she asked him. ah, she caught his little moment with you.
soshiro was on the verge of playing it cool and putting on an act; he was about to outright lie to his captain by saying "talk to who?" as if he had no idea what she was referring to. he settled with silence. he was grateful his non-response only earned him a sigh from the captain who did not press the topic any further.
 "to you newbies, congratulations!" captain ashiro raised her glass, still half-filled with alcohol. her voice rang out over the place, everyone's conversations immediately falling quiet. "may the third division always be victorious in our battles to come", she recapped her speech.
the party showed no signs of slowing down. hibino kafka, a recruit in his thirties has been the centre of intrigue that has spanned for weeks now. hibino ossan - as what the others nicknamed him - had revealed in a bathroom conversation with other male rookies that he grew up with captain ashiro. ashiro mina likes dried squid; ashiro mina used to raise pets in grade school - everyone consumed any and every tidbit of trivia hibino disclosed about the usually stoic and serious third division commander. soshiro was among those invested in the rumor and you knew why. for a while, you also wondered how he would react once the rest of the troops learned about your own past with their vice-captain. would he deny it? or would he brush off any potential gossip that may arise from the revelation? if everyone discovered your shared history with hoshina soshiro, would it make him want to reconnect with you?
âyou lot will start duty monday next week, but tomorrow will just be another workday for vice-captain hoshina and iâ, captain ashiro said, having stood up from her seat, preparing to take off. âno, you can stayâ, she said to some of the newbies who have started to get up too.
ânah, captain, why donât we bring them along to help us file all the tedious paperwork?â, soshiro interjected in his familiar upbeat tone. the crew bursted into snickers; captain ashiro gave soshiro a perplexed look, obviously puzzled about the sudden shift in his mood. testing her theory, she looked at your direction.
captain ashiro couldn't make out why, but you were giggling at whatever your seatmate had said, elegant hand covering your mouth, eyes crinkled. she understood soshiro then - she was not foreign to feeling uneasy inside when she sees someone so physically near someone she cares about after all. "let's go, hoshina", she tucked her pity for the vice-captain away.
"do you guys think they are dating?" a particularly tactless rookie sitting at your table had asked immediately after captain ashiro and hoshina were out the sliding doors.
"i bet they're not", you blurted out a little too soon, a little too sure. you did not mind clipping your accent, your kansai-ben thick and heavy. your fellow officers looked at you, expecting an explanation for your outburst. "i mean -" you stuttered, "that would be awkward, i guess."
"you know to think of it, you're from himeji too, right?" a few more recruits have started to listen in on the exchange. these people can smell the truth off me, you thought. you wanted to smack yourself in the face.
"we went ta the same high school together, that's all", you admitted, feeling backed in a corner. tomorrow when you get questioned for this imprudent behavior, you can probably blame it all on the alcohol. "and grade school", you continued, loose-lipped now.
you still liked wearing pink bows in your hair when you met him. an only child of kind parents, you never experienced having to ask for something you like; you were doted on and spoiled so you were reasonably upset when a young hoshina soshiro did not give you the time of his day. your family has just moved to hyogo shortly before that, and you were anxious to make friends; since your early age, you had made it your mission to make soshiro acknowledge you.
"you dun wanna play with me, because ya are stupid", you told soshiro-kun once. "oka-san said all boys are stupid", you had the nerve to elaborate after he pouted at you, his unkempt bangs sticking on his sweaty forehead, his clothes dirty from training all day.
"yer pretty", he responded and you felt the blush crept up on your cheeks. "pretty annoying."
"come on, spill some tea!" someone's palm connected with the table, jolting you out of your trance. "we have another hibino-senpai situation on our hands!" they declared, grabbing you by the arm and shaking you a bit. if it was meant to encourage you to tell more childhood tales between you and the vice-captain, it worked really, really well.
"he's always had that haircut even as a kid", you said, misinterpreting the kind of story your companions wanted you to tell, judging by their disappointed looks. âi- i donât know what else to tell you guysâ, you held up your hand in surrender.
âdo you have a crush on him?â you choked on your drink, caught off guard.
vexed at his absent-mindedness, soshiro was walking back to the izakaya place alone when he heard the commotion. he is going straight to bed once he gets back to the base, but he would have to retrieve his uniform jacket first from his seat earlier.
âyou totally do, donât you!â it stopped sounding like a question and more of an accusation you could not deny. âyou like hoshina-san!â
âi -i do, yes... but what of it, huh?" he couldnât see you but he would recognize the soft timbre of your voice anywhere. soshiro felt like a victorian gentleman getting a glimpse of a womanâs ankle for the first time listening in on the uproar of cheers after your confession.
âthe three of us attended the same high school, soichiro-kun was a grade aheadâ, you said. soshiro froze. you are talking about his brother. âhe has always been good at everything, t'was hard not ta like him.â
soshiro closed his eyes, attempting to steady his breathing. he always had his suspicions - for the ceremony earlier his brother even took a day off his busy schedule as the commander of the sixth division to attend as a guest. he should have known.
last year, soshiroâs squad fought a lizard-type kaiju with a fortitude of above 8. like the reptile, a cut made on any of its limbs was useless due to advanced regeneration. a fractured rib, extremely bruised arms, and a dislocated shoulder were what it costed soshiro to win against the monster. his bitterness threatening to consume him, he cannot believe that you confirming his worst fears would hurt more than that fatal experience.
of course, he said to himself. itâs not like he can fault you for liking soichiro - everyone did. as the firstborn son, their father always had favored him. soichiro has been the more skilled swordsman between them; he was the golden child, charismatic and talented with an effortless charm - like moths to a flame he would attract people, and even in his silence he would overshadow soshiro.
soshiro didnât stand a chance against his own flesh and blood.
he was a teenager when he dreamed of running away from the constant but inevitable competition he had with his brother. scouted for the third division, he relished on the freedom. but how do you escape the reality of the one you love loving the one person you could never measure up to?
#hoshina soshiro x reader#soshiro hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro#soshiro hoshina#hoshina x reader#kaijuu 8 gou#kaiju no. 8#kn8 x reader#kaiju#hoshina#dont worry guys#i will make them kiss in the end#hoshina soshiro fic
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