#fear of disapproval

[shreeisspecial]

In a world that constantly demands our time, energy, and attention, learning the art of saying no is crucial for maintaining our well-being and fostering healthy relationships. Setting boundaries with grace allows us to prioritize our needs, values, and goals without guilt or resentment. This blog delves into the importance of saying no, the challenges it entails, and practical strategies to set and maintain boundaries with confidence and compassion.

[glitchd0g]

Day 2: Hot chocolate

I like to draw comics based on pavlevi. Although I often make mistakes in translation, xddd

the Russian version

Если я и тут опечатаюсь, я повешусь пьйщьщффпьфпьйау (хотя в следующем дне я написал "ЛЕЙТЕНАТ" так что хуже быть не может

[bubonickitten]

I truly, desperately need the Democratic party to focus at LEAST as much on the undecided progressive as on the undecided right-leaning moderate.

If you really want to earn the votes of undecided people, or--perhaps more importantly--inspire a young generation of first-time voters to vote for you, you HAVE to fucking talk to them and meet them where they are, and then prove to them that you've got their backs.

Like, yes, I'm voting for the Democratic candidate either way because the electoral college two-party system precludes viable alternatives. But forget the discourse about voting, not voting, voting third party, etc. for a minute and just acknowledge the fact that there are going to be people who are not going to change their minds if all you can give them is "not as bad as the other guy." Just, speaking purely in terms of pragmatism and sustainability, "not as bad as the other guy" is a dead end for a large percentage of voters, like it or not. Democrats have got to do better than that if they want to genuinely improve their chances of beating the other guy -- in this election and every other.

(ETA: I should probably clarify that I also don't like or trust the Democratic party, for the record, and this isn't me white knighting on their behalf. I'm just saying if they actually want to court progressive voters, they have to stop being... you know. Like this.)

[chronurgy]

ORIN GHOST STORY HELLO?

But Vesper's Sight was the fly in the ointment. They had never spoken of it much, at least not to her, never deigned to share their visions and understandings with any other. At least that had been what she had thought. Perhaps they had shared with that lordling that had captured their attentions so. But not with her. Never with her. And so she did not know the shape of it, did not know what caused their mind-matter to flicker and spasm with variations of the unfolding world. She could do no more than lean on her own pounding blood in the face of it, carry the belief that her sharpened blades would slice and dice even through such unneeded artifice. She had. She had, in the end. But they had smiled.

This is set after orin deposes the Dark Urge and takes on the role of Bhaal's chosen and leader of the cult. It's sort of a ghost story that isn't quite a ghost story, because orin feels haunted by Vesper but we (the readers) all know that Vesper isn't dead. It's about blurring the lines between an actual haunting and a mental haunting, about knowing someone well enough to know exactly what they'd say about what you're doing, about second guessing yourself and your choices, about feeling like they're standing over your shoulder and judging you even though they can't actually be there..... right? Orin's room is vesper's old room and so much memory of them would linger there and her new allies were originally vesper's allies and her cult was originally vesper's cult and the people in it loved Vesper and aren't sure if they love her yet so everywhere she looks she's seeing and hearing about Vesper. How much of this is orin's own mind and how much is vesper's ghost or some horrible psychological trap they laid just for her?

[sevicia]

Also I really can't lie I've been going crazy lately because I'm starting to feel like an actual person and I fucking hate it. It makes my skin crawl. Everyone just walks around having all these things going on and ever since I stopped isolating myself I've started to become more aware of others and it's awful 0/10 would never ever EVERR recommend.

My main source of anguish right now is really just being trans because of how pathetic it makes me feel. Sure it feels amazing when people call me by my actual name and at least pretend to respect me (regardless of what they think or say about me in private) but just thinking about rejection is humiliating and it's not because any trans person would ever deserve it or because the person being awful would ever be in the right but because I am, by nature, pathetic and weak and cowardly, and also my self esteem is in the negatives, and so I just don't think I'm brave enough or strong enough to stand up for myself, or would even have the drive to. Should I have to? Well no. But that's just how things are. No trans person is ever safe from being discriminated against and I hate it, and I hate that I don't see myself doing anything about it when it inevitably happens to me.

It's also because I'm specifically an autistic trans guy who is also physically small. Meaning most people in my life are just gonna end up treating me like a child in some way shape or form and while I am aware that I AM childish, I know it'll just make it harder for me to be recognized as a man for as long as I live. I've been explicitly told by my family that I won't be allowed to move out until *they* decide I'm ready and I'm always being dragged along with an air of "not knowing what's best for me" (this is true) and again, I no longer care enough to fight it. I don't have the strength or motivation to fight for the things I really want because I can't conceive them ever truly being worth fighting for.

I know people are always just indulging me and I know it's all I could ask for but I'm sadly more and more of a person every day and I gain new problems every day, so I care much more than before.

[mc-critical]

E22 is certainly all about the deepest fears and suspicions of the characters related to belonging (or rather, NOT belonging) that accumulate through the whole episode (as it gets more and more likely for them to be fully realized), which in turn makes the jealousy and/or resentment within these characters grow.

Ibrahim starts off still ruminating on Beyhan's words from a previous event relayed to him through Hatice in the previous episode, so his fear is immediately established: the fear of his death coming forth regardless, and from the sultan's hands worst of all; of his place in SS's heart, in the family's hearts, ultimately always ending up shaky and temporary; of him being discarded and erased at a moment's notice; of him never actually meaning anything to anyone, thus he aims for the biggest sense of belonging out of everyone else here: SS is most valuable to him, of course, as this is his first bond in this foreign world, but that value and his approval also turn out predicated and empowered by the value and approval everyone else gives him too. As it all begins from the possibility of a future action of SS and his bad mood that could possibly mean anything in the next day, then it goes to Mustafa's opinion on Ibrahim's closeness to SS, and then it circles back to SS again as a reaction to Mustafa's reaction (hence the smallest recurring disapproval, as Mustafa's stance here is a continuation of Mustafa's remark in E03, means wide disapproval — this is why in Ibrahim's dream everyone is out there witnessing and almost delighting in his execution; even Hatice who is clearly sad, is portrayed with resignation, as if the execution is an inevitablity she has to accept and never go against - this is of course also informed by what Ibrahim has seen of Hatice so far, how she couldn't oppose SS's decision to marry her to Mehmet Celebi even though she loves Ibrahim and aches inside and always claims to not be able handle it if she loses him, so the only thing he can say and do is try to spare her the pain). Ibrahim has to fully belong in order not to be reminded of what he's lost before and what he can lose now, but his sense of belonging is so fragile that every little thing can create big, irreparable cracks, bringing him to realize that he never actually belonged anywhere and what's more striking, he has nowhere to belong now as he's lost everything. This is terrifying to him and he can't share it with anyone (not even Hatice could really provide him solace: she calmed him down a bit, sure, but she also related to Mustafa's motives - right on par with Hatice's theme of relating this episode - that perhaps meaning to Ibrahim that even she can't be reliable, that even she could turn her similar possessiveness against him, if she can muster to do even that), so he buries it deep - he is the only one who doesn't lash out due to his fear in this episode, but this sense of fear beginning with him colors the whole rest of the episode and remains an omen of what's to come next. It's this fear that will make him more offensive, more insistent to secure his position even more and remove everyone who stands on the way of that, even in this season finale.

Mustafa's fear is established by one event in this exact episode that puts him at odds with his brother more directly than ever before (there's a reason why this is their first lesson together): the fear of him not becoming a padişah; of him being replaced by someone else, and by someone else who he too loves worst of all; of his efforts not being recognized; of his father leaving him behind forever, not wanting him, not loving him anymore; of him not having the future he's been eager and preparing to have, what's his use if he doesn't have it?, in that case the only thing he can do is disappear, thus he aims for a narrower sense of belonging: he cares about the rest of his family, but his father's love matters to him most of all. He looks up to him and is inspired by him, trying his best to follow his example in order to be the best he can be. And he is constantly encouraged by everyone to be the best he can be, so when even the smallest threat to that come up, his whole self is challenged, so what's left is to lash out, to defend his beliefs and mindset, to make this fear known in order to evade it. He doesn't belong without his father's love that gives him all he craves. He can't belong if that isn't there. And his belonging predicates on him being prioritized at all times, as this isn't a place reserved only for him, it turns out; anyone can take it away. So Mehmet's assertion plants this fear, while Ibrahim's place next to SS confirms it (Mahidevran here, just like Hatice with Ibrahim, tried to comfort Mustafa by putting Mehmet's words into context as well to an extent, but Mustafa actually managed to ease up until the Ibrahim matter popped up), so Mustafa's reaction is precisely that kind of lashing out. The lashing out culminates the episode but there's some finality attached to it as well, as it is the last such clash Mustafa has with Ibrahim (with him realizing his mistake afterwards) - from that point on, they will fully be a source of support for one another. Even his jealousy of Mehmet that sets up the future becomes more restrained.

Gülşah's fear is established by a series of events in this exact episode, feeding into each other and fueling her at every turn: the fear of falling into disgrace alongside with her closest person, or on her own worst of all; of being scolded by both the person she loves and the person she hates; of being mocked and ridiculed; of being denied the agency to do anything about it, as everyone else overpowers her either by being above her or simply being the majority. Her fear seems the most driven out of self-preservation, not so much out of a desire to belong at first, however these two are interlinked for her as well. Her very survival is predicated by the most narrow sense of belonging: on her sultana, the only person who can give her any sense of belonging. Her job is being next to her, so she has to share her joys and sorrows, but she also gets her sense of respect and worth namely from that role, so she can't help but make these joys and sorrows her own. E22 is the first time this is challenged however, since we see her outside of her sultana for the first time, as even what she has to do due to her role as her servant (taking Mustafa from the lessons and defending him) and as a servant in general (bringing Mehmet to Hürrem), is challenged and that whole facade of respect from others due to her sultana is fully broken (even Nigar's threats and almost drowning Gülşah before are because of something Mahidevran's ordered and done, this here has next to nothing to do with Mahidevran) and then her own wishes to seek justice and accountability are uncovered, but the more her sultana seems to not join in, the more Gülşah loses every sense of belonging in each moment (the mockery of the girls of the harem is only there to accentuate that loss and reveal how alone she is) and the only thing she can do is desperately tie them to her sultana, to cling to her in order to convince herself of her righteousness, of how she hasn't lost her sense of belonging actually, isn't that right?? She has no choice: the disillusionment, the resentment only grow throughout the entire episode and she can't really share the full extent of her sorrow with anyone - even her sultana wants her to suck it and wait, but she's sick of waiting, of being humiliated, so she provides the final imminent lashing out of the episode, the one that sets up the future the most in terms of Gülşah's relationship with Mahidevran, as well as it sets up the main deal of the very next episode.

[all-i-do-is-live-in-daydreams]

one day I'm gonna write a comparison piece about morgana pendragon and loki odinson cause their characters seem very alike to me in some ways and my fyp on here bombards me with them both all the time and all I can think of is them and who they are and their circumstances and I just know a comparison piece with them would be so good

[zoneofsmites]

love test q's for sylas since youre PREPARED! 3, 8, 17! -@veilkeeper

(questions by the lovely Kellan who send this ask!)

Ok so - I was prepared for one of these questions. And as I was doing music questions and saw the answers of others realised the way I was doing them was so much more convoluted but whatever, I think it is fun.

Answering these questions as if Sylas is the subject of the dryad love quiz - like a companion - with multiple answers and approval ratings!

Putting it under a read more for how long it gets.

3. What is their deepest fear? (this is the one I had answered for myself a while ago)

Sylas - what fills the fearless slayer with terror?

Being alone. "I would prefer it actually, especially right now." his face has gone blank - you have upset him somehow. (Sylas -1 / wrong answer)

His Urge taking control, killing someone he loves. He sneers at you, "Oh of course, let's tell the stranger how fucked up I am in the head." (Sylas -5 / correct answer)

It's him who fills other's with terror Sylas lets out an actual laugh - a rare thing - before replying with a grin that bares his sharp teeth, "Sure, I like that answer." (Sylas +5 / wrong answer)

Never regaining his memories. His gaze has become unfocused - what he says next is not directed at you but something he mumbles only to himself: "There is so little left…" (correct answer)

His father. (if known Bhaalspawn) A look of horror falls on his face, "That isn-… No. No… Of course I don't, he made me-- we're done here." Sylas is getting antsy - he tries to back away before realizing he is caught between you and the dryad on the tree trunk, there is no way to escape. (Sylas -5 / perfect answer)

8. What is their greatest regret?

What happened to the bard. The man before you grimaces, "I thought we had all agreed to never bring that up again." he sounds strained as he speaks and is avoiding eye contact. (Sylas -5 / correct answer)

Biting Karlach to see if she 'tasted spicy' that one time. Sylas looks flustered at being reminded of that blunder, "It was genuine curiosity - I apologized!" he sputters. (wrong answer)

Not telling us about the Urge earlier. He stares at you, "Don't put your own feelings on me - I don't regret a thing." (Sylas -1 / wrong answer)

17. What comforts them on a bad day?

Drawing in his sketchbook. Sylas looks away with a sheepish face - too embarrassed about his hobbies to face you directly, “It’s not very good - but it’s relaxing.” (Sylas +1 / correct answer)

Someone doing his hair. His hands shoot up protectively with the intend of hiding his curls behind them. “Don’t even think about it.” he pouts. (Sylas -1 / wrong answer) If Wyll: He gives a half smile, “As long as that someone is you - others would just mess it up.” (Sylas +1 / correct answer)

Sharpening his blades. He gives you a nonchalant shrug. “Can’t be too prepared - but between us I think Lae’zel is more into it than I.” (wrong answer)

A good hug. Sylas recoils as if you were about to reach out and touch him. “No.” (Sylas -5 / wrong answer) If 100% approval / if Wyll or Karlach: He rolls his eyes but the small smile is fond, “I guess I could be persuaded - by the right person.” (Sylas +1 / correct answer)

[rotkad]

i be like "i wanna interact with the cool people in this cool space!!" and then i remember that i had to reteach myself human emotions and i do not actively understand how to express sympathy or mutual happiness

[c0rpsedemon]

The Tiktokers Are Saying That Romeo And Cinderella Is About Grooming

[saltyfilmmajor]

I wish my parents didn’t think it’s unfair of me to want them to accept me unconditionally

They say they do but it’s a very Christian way of love the sinner hate the sin

My dad said that to me tonight

[egipci]

Love love LOVE ur tags on part II of Vicky's deanjohn subtext gifsets. The thing about Dean's autonomy in spn is that the question of it is less pronounced than Sam's, it's more subtle. How much of what he wants and does is solely because of John, or the will of the father, as you put it? (Ahhh!) The narrative never tells us, just leaves us to wonder...just as it poses the questions of samdean and deanjohn through subtext. Kripke is really fucking good at that. (From @twochildreninamoteldemo )

hi friend! I had to go looking for the tags in question, and yeah, vis-a-vis Sam we know so little about how Dean imagined his life turning out -- there is always the foundational "I want to be alive, with my brother" which by the end of s2 turns into "I want my brother to have a life even if I'm dead," and then he's teetering on the edge of suicide-by-monster for years afterwards, but it's not really clear what sort of life he wanted before that, before it was clear anything else was pretty much out of the question. To be a firefighter, maybe, and to have a hot wife and 2.5 kids. He wanted to be a rock-star at sixteen, per s9! He's such a cool guy to play around with for this reason --- outside of his ethical commitment to saving the world (which must always include saving his brother), his wants are so opaque (or rather so mundane) such that you can impose all sorts of other shit on him to a fair degree of plausibility.

What interests me in all this is of course how it relates to John. S1 is obviously all about desire and impossibility. People who want to go home can never, and Dean never wants to go home again but must. Sam wants to be done with hunting for good but he has to look for his dad and avenge his girlfriend. John wants to see his kids but can't, and he wants his wife alive but he never makes the deal to bring her back. (He makes that deal for Dean!) Dean wants them to be a family again, but the shape of that is unclear. He thinks things could go back to the way they were-- but Sam doesn't want that, and neither does John! John's future plans are Sam in school (he's proud of Sam going to college! He was always proud, as Dean tells us) and for Dean to have a home. A home with John? That's how it seems to me! Dean can never really have any other life as long as John is alive. And I think a lot of people would disagree with me on this, but if they had killed Azazel in 1x22 (possessing some unrelated, non-John person), I think Sam would have gone back to school, and he would have stayed in touch with his father and his brother, and visited on holidays and maybe even occasionally joined on a hunt. And I think Dean would have stayed with his father forever.

[inamindfarfaraway]

I had to do Team Batgirl. Babs is Oracle, Cass is Black Bat and Steph is Batgirl as per pre-New 52. Remember, the core drive of each emotion is benevolent, no matter how bad they feel. Sadness is responsible for empathy, sympathy and asking for help; Fear wants to keep us and what we care about safe; Anger wants things to be fair; and Disgust wants to protect us from physical, social or moral contamination. They're all the basis for more complex emotions and processes, e.g. Fear enables forethought and common sense for risk evaluation, Anger inspires courage and bold, direct action and Disgust is highly involved in meeting social expectations.

[Babs's Headquarters have a similar professional atmosphere to Bruce's. The walls are dark grey. In the background of the immaculate main office, a few closed doors partition off other spaces, probably more personal ones; the memory shelves are longer than average and have additional walled channels beneath them to store memory orbs that fall from overflow, and the memories glow unusually bright; there are no windows and the room is lit by overhead office lights, the sight screen and the memory orbs. Her emotions are also in wheelchairs and wear glasses, with individual styles and decorations. Her console is a large, angular, intricate control panel of polished silver metal, elegant and futuristic, at which sit Fear at the helm, Anger at her right hand and Joy at her left, then Sadness and Disgust next to them.]

Fear: We’re scanning our entire surveillance network, but the Joker is still unaccounted for. We should check in with Cassandra and Stephanie.

Joy: I’m so proud of them. Permission to verbalize that to them, ma’am?

Fear: Don’t know if we’ll have time.

Anger: Yeah, expressing vulnerability takes a lot of energy, and we all agreed to divert 75% of it to single-minded fixation on justice until Joker is back in Arkham. Preferably via ambulance.

Fear: I’ll schedule a tight smile for when the girls get back, but no guarantee Babs will remember it then. Our short-term memory bank is already full to bursting.

Disgust: (under her breath, annoyed) As always.

Sadness: So, um… Dick hasn't called us back yet, but I think he wants to. Maybe we should call him.

Fear: No, we’re both busy. We can catch up tommorow.

[Cass's Headquarters are largely a fusion of a dojo and a gym, a wide open space with mats, punching bags and other exercise and martial arts equipment. The walls and floor are wooden boards. A set of floor-to-ceiling windows at the back and sides shaped like bat symbols make the space light and airy. The background has a corridor leading off to the left and a staircase going up at the right that look straight out of Wayne Manor. There is no console. Rather, an elevated black stage with yellow curtains is before the screen. Sadness is centre-stage, flanked by Anger and Fear, then Joy and Disgust. The black surface lights up with squares of the emotions’ respective colours under their feet as they dance in a graceful, perfectly coordinated ballet routine to classical music. Until Fear makes a different move to the others. An alarm beeps, cutting off the music, and everyone freezes. The others stare at Fear. Anger is offended, Sadness and Joy intrigued and Disgust confused.]

Anger: (folds her arms, raises an eyebrow and puffs out her chest at Fear challengingly)

Sadness: (gently holds Anger in place with a hand on her shoulder and nods to Fear)

Fear: (cringes, but cautiously makes the move again)

Anger: (clenches her fists and gestures in outrage to Sadness)

Joy: (steps forward and holds Fear’s hand in support, making unintimidated eye contact with Anger)

Disgust: (looks ahead through Cass’s eyes, unlike any of the others are, due to boredom with the dispute)

Disgust: Ugh. More henchmen.

Sadness: You handle it.

Disgust: Fiiiine.

[The emotions reshuffle so that Disgust is centre-stage. She dances alone to simpler music with only one instrument. The others retreat upstage, Sadness between Anger and Fear and Joy as she tries to mediate.]

Joy: (stands protectively in front of Fear and beckons for Anger to bring it on, balancing her weight)

Sadness: (shakes her head disapprovingly, unseen by anyone)

Anger: (yells wordlessly and punches Joy)

[The four break into a fight, tumbling offstage onto the mats. Disgust rolls her eyes.]

[Steph's Headquarters are furnished much like a mundane living room, with white walls, a plush purple sofa, cluttered coffee table, lamps emitting warm light, windows to one side and a comfortable atmosphere. The doors to ancillary rooms are open. Tucked away by the memory orb shelves, two cardboard boxes of purple, blue, red and green memory orbs marked ‘Trauma - FRAGILE’ remain unpacked. Her console resembles a video game controller, being white plastic, rounded and having colourful buttons, switches and joysticks. It has a single chair, a spinning one made of black plastic and purple cushions. Joy is seated, gleefully wiggling a joystick. Anger is on her right, excitedly watching the mission, and Sadness is on her left, concerned. Disgust is hovering at the side of the console, not very interested. Fear is on the sofa quietly writing in a puzzle book.]

Joy: We’ve got this in the bag. None of these bozos even know we’re here.

[She reaches to press a yellow button. Disgust notices, abruptly invested, and pushes past Sadness to grab Joy’s hand.]

Disgust: But they will if you quip from so near them. And then we’re gonna fail and Babs is gonna make her disappointed face and, like, never trust Steph with a stealth mission again.

Joy: Good point.

Anger: There’s the ringleader! Aw, Cass is already beating him up.

Sadness: (sighs and leans on the console, turning it partially blue) She was a way better Batgirl, we’ll never come close and everyone knows it.

Joy: (batting her arm away) Sadness, we’ve talked about this. Steph earned her place and has nothing to prove. Everything's gonna be fine. Okay, let’s just sneak past and get out with the intel -

Fear: Hey, guys, do you ever think about how Steph’s daughter could die at any moment and we wouldn’t even know?

[The others tense and flinch. The console lights up purple and fades to blue.]

Joy: SHUT UP, FEAR!

Disgust: So not the time!

Sadness: (crying) I am now!

Anger: This is why we never listen to you!

[countess-of-edessa]

actually my friend asking me what some of my favorite female literary characters are has made me realize i literally cannot think of one

[kelsiers-metal-vials]

ok I’m not a veteran tumblr user, how frowned upon is it to change your url and pfp often

[literaryvein-reblogs]

more words to describe your character's feelings

Doubt

begrudge, controvert, despair, disapprove, disbelieve, discountenance, dissent, fume, hesitate, lovelorn, mind, mistrust, objection, oppugn, question, reject, repudiate, rue, scruple, skepticism, suspect, wonder

Elated

affect, alleviate, appeal, appeasement, arrest, attract, awe, bedazzle, bemuse, brighten, charm, defuse, divert, elevate, enamor, encourage, endear, enliven, enthrall, enticement, excite, fascinate, fortify, galvanize, gladden, gratify, hearten, inflame, inspire, interest, invigorate, lighten, matter, perk up, prod, rally, reassure, rouse, satisfy, strike, tantalize, temper, tickle, touch, wake/waken, whet

Fear

apprehension, dismay, horror, panic, terror, trepidation

Hate

abhor, abominate, aggression, anger, antagonism, atrocity, bad blood, blow up, burn, deplore, detest, disdain, disinclination, disrespect, dissent, enmity, execrate, frown, fury, horror, incivility, inhumanity, lament/lamentation, loathe, malice, odium, outrage, pique, rancor, resent, revulsion, seethe, spite, umbrage, venom, wrath

Love

acceptance, admiration, adoration, adulation, affection, amour, appreciate, approval, attention, bask, bewitched, canonize, charity, consideration, constancy, delight in, dig, discrimination, dote on/dote upon, enamored, enjoy, esteem, exult, fall for, fascinated, favor, flame, fond, get a kick out of, gratitude, idolize, leaning, like, mad, mercy, passion, predilection, prize, rapture, respect, revere/reverence, savor, taste, thrill, treasure, venerate, zeal

Of concern

afraid, alarm, anxiety, apprehension, concern, craze, dismay, distraction, distress, encumbrance, feeling, foreboding, guilt, hang up, horror, jitters, jumpy, misgiving, obsession, one-track mind, passion, petrified, puzzled, question, suspicion, terror, trouble, weight, wonder, worry

Surprise

alarm, appall, astound, backfire, bedazzle, bewilder, confound, dazzle, dumbfound, electrify, frighten, overwhelm, petrify, shock, startle, stun, stupefy, terrify

NOTE

The above are concepts classified according to subject and usage. It not only helps writers and thinkers to organize their ideas but leads them from those very ideas to the words that can best express them.

It was, in part, created to turn an idea into a specific word. By linking together the main entries that share similar concepts, the index makes possible creative semantic connections between words in our language, stimulating thought and broadening vocabulary.

Source ⚜ Writing Basics & Refreshers ⚜ On Vocabulary Definitions of Emotions in Psychology ⚜ More Word Alternatives for Emotions