#so why keep up our relationship when eventually you’re gonna pull back and disapprove of the choices I make

[saltyfilmmajor]

I wish my parents didn’t think it’s unfair of me to want them to accept me unconditionally

They say they do but it’s a very Christian way of love the sinner hate the sin

My dad said that to me tonight

[mieohmy]

[𝟽:𝟹𝟽]

𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘤 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘱 :\ 

   The sound of keys clicking filled the room. Occasional sniffs and coughs could be heard, but your brain blocked it all out. It was a long day at the office, and with the holidays coming up, you had way more work than you had liked.

You typed one more sentence before sitting up from your slumped position, stretching your neck and arms. You took the time to glance around. Everyone else seemed focused. Heck, even Haechan was clicking away instead of his usual banter, face never leaving the computer screen.  

After handing your report to Mark with a grimace, you tell him “good luck,” and he gives you a strained laugh before saying he’ll just give it to Jaemin to proofread. You decide to stand up and get some water, wincing as you hear your bones crack. Walking over, you meet Renjun filling up his water bottle at the station. You greet him as he starts talking. “Y/n, I swear I’m gonna sleep for days once we finish this project. Don’t be alarmed if you don’t hear from me after.” You laugh before agreeing. “I know, my eyes are dead from staring at a screen 24/7.” He moves aside as you fill up your bottle, continuing to chat and sip on his water.

You hear him greet someone. “Yo Jeno, did your boss assign you a 3,000-word report too?” You stiffen before slowly turning around to meet him. Jeno immediately locks eyes with you, even though he’s responding to Renjun’s question. Your eyes flick away, deciding to focus on Renjun instead. Renjun shoots you a weird look before walking off and groaning about one last page to do.

You take a sip before deciding to leave to get back to the mountain of documents you desperately need to finish, but once you take two steps forward, Jeno quickly grabs your hand. You immediately tense, head turning to face him. He takes a glance around the room before softly asking, “Have you eaten yet?” You slowly shake your head, looking around to see if anyone saw before taking your hand from his grip. Jeno frowns in disapproval before he says, “You haven’t eaten since eight this morning? Let’s grab food after work alright?” You nod before quickly walking back to your desk, hoping no one witnessed anything.

You sighed as you sat back down at your desk to continue working. You hoped you didn’t seem too cold towards Jeno. It’s not that you were ashamed of your relationship or anything, but dating in the workplace wasn’t the most professional thing, and you took your job seriously. You tried to seem neutral towards him whenever you had to interact with him in the office—hoping no one would catch on,—but Jeno was making it a lot harder to hide.

You two weren’t the most affectionate couple in public, but Jeno’s sweet actions made your heart flutter a lot more than you would admit. He would sneak drinks at your desk with a cute note and pack you snacks in the morning to take to work. (he left in the morning before you because he worked under a different boss that required him to arrive earlier.. and maybe also so no one didn’t suspect anything).

______________________________________________________________

Once you finally get to the last paragraph, you slump back in your chair, exhaling. Glancing around, you realized it was dark outside, and there were only a few people left still in the office. Jeno being one of them. You blink a couple of times before focusing again, only to feel a pair of eyes on you. You grin, knowing he was watching you. You figured he had probably finished already, being the hard worker that he was, and was waiting for you. You reminded yourself to hurry up, feeling your stomach grumble and remembering what Jeno said.

You faintly hear Jisung and Chenle sign off as you type the last sentence, saying goodbye before turning their lights off and walking out. It’s quiet for a moment, and you think you’re the only one left in the room before you hear a chair rolling towards you. You feel a smile growing, knowing who it was already. Quickly packing up, you gather everything before spinning around to face him.

Jeno was sitting in his chair, chin resting on his palm while staring at you. “Missed me that much even though we’re in the same room?” you tease. He doesn’t say anything, just causing a surprised gasp to escape your mouth as he suddenly pulls your chair towards his. His hand comes up to your chin, tilting your chin up as he comes closer. Your eyes instinctively fall shut, waiting. You feel the ghost of his lips on yours before suddenly hearing voices coming closer and getting louder.

You immediately jerk and push Jeno off you, eyes opening to find his shocked face staring back at you, lips slightly puckered still, getting smaller as his chair slowly rolls further and further away.

You can only stare in horror until your attention is moved to the voices again. It was Chenle and Jisung, looking at you and Jeno (who had stopped rolling 10 feet from you) with confused expressions. You blink. “Um- what’s happening?” Chenle looks at you, then at Jeno, before focusing on you again. “Uhh I just left my jacket.. haha... we’ll get going now..” He quickly retrieves his jacket before grabbing Jisung and leaving.

It’s silent for a moment. It takes you a second before you immediately rush over to him, not moving and silent. You can’t read the expression on his face, but he slightly turns so his back is towards you, and you can’t see him. You hesitate for a moment before reaching out to grab his hand. “Jeno...” He quickly moves his hand away. You pout. “Baby... I didn’t mean to.” You hope the nickname worked.

He still doesn’t look at you. You try to turn his chair around, but he stops you. “Are you that ashamed of me? To the point of hiding our relationship like that?” Your eyes widen. “No!! It’s not like that.. you know I love you, but I just don’t think it’s the right time to show it..” You’re finally able to get him to face you. You smile at the cute pout on his face, knowing he was trying to seem angry. You bring your face close to his, attempting to appeal to him. “I’m sorry Jen..”

His eyes avoid yours, but you can see a small smile forming. He lets out a small humph! and turns slightly away from you. You laugh, pressing a kiss to his cheek.  

You squirm. “Come onnn. I’m hungry. Let’s go to that restaurant you wanted to visit a week ago?” Playfully tilting your head at him, you grab his arm and pull him up. Jeno grumbles before reluctantly grabbing his stuff.

As you two make your way down the stairs, you continue to play with him. You hug his arm, whining. “Are you still upset? You know I’ll give you kisses at home, ok??” He mumbles a response, ears red. You can only laugh and intertwine your hands together.

Jeno, being the gentleman he is, opens the door to the exit for you as you giggle from something he said, wrapping his arm around your waist after. You’re about to continue when you hear a “What the fuck?” You and Jeno immediately freeze. You whip your head, and it’s the boys standing in a group to your right. Shit. Why are they still here?! Jeno’s grip on your waist tightens.

Mark and Jisung are just staring at the two of you, mouths open. Jaemin’s frozen, and you think you hear Renjun whisper-shout “I fucking knew it!”

You laugh awkwardly. “What are you guys still doing here??” Haechan slowly speaks. “Waiting for our ride to take us to go eat together?” His eyes kept flicking down to Jeno’s hand still around your waist and back up to you. There’s an awkward pause until Chenle coughs. “So... you two ..?” Jeno only shrugs. “Guess the secret’s out??” he says sheepishly.

Renjun scoffs. “It wasn’t a secret. I could totally tell you liked Y/n. I just didn’t you two were already together.” You shoot Jeno a look before looking back at the group. “Please keep this a secret?? We don’t want everyone at work to know. I want to be professional still,” you plead, eyes wide.

Haechan coughs while muttering, “i think everyone knows,” before Jaemin elbows him. They promise to keep the “secret” before bidding you two farewell. You continue walking with Jeno silently until he speaks up. “Well, that was unexpected.” You sigh before looping your arm through his. “Yeah, it was gonna happen eventually.” He suddenly steals a quick kiss from you before starting to run. You yelp as he pulls you along. “What are you doing??” He only laughs. “Don’t you wanna get to the restaurant before it closes?”

[jj-bxby]

take a chance ~ jj maybank imagine

prompt request ~ angst ~ 1) you can’t do this, you owe me 2) how much did you drink? 3) i don’t need your pity

summary - you meet the boy of your dreams at a party, but your parents disapprove of your relationship. what happens when a phone call from them sends you into self destruct mode?

word count - 1.9k

trigger warnings ~ swearing, drinking/smoking, verbal ab*se from family member, happy ending

Kooks loved parties. Or, at least you were supposed to. 

For whatever reason, the thoughts of the crowded house and cheap booze never was appealing to you, no matter how many times you pushed yourself into the scene. Eventually, you resigned from the parties at frats and packed mansions within Figure Eight, opting instead for the ones thrown on The Cut. The Boneyard made the perfect spot for summer parties, logs acting as benches, fires to keep warm, and no police caring enough to show up to kill the vibe. And of course, that was how you ended up meeting him. The boy with the sea glass-blue eyes, wavy blonde locks, and salty lips. He was the one who had found you resting in the sand with music playing softly from your little speaker as your eyes closed. You were a good distance away from your Kook friends and the rest of the party. He’d tapped your leg with the toe of his sneaker, giggling as you glared at him.

“Not much of a partier, aye?”

You sat up, annoyed. “No, I’m not. I’m not one much for having my quiet time interrupted, either.” 

He sank to your level, sitting in the sand with his arm thrown over one knee with a joint in his hand. He twirled it for a few seconds before looking up to see you staring at him, a scowl having settled across your mouth. He laughed to himself as he looked in your eyes. “Well, I’m sorry about that. But do you mind if I lay here for a bit too? I’m I bit too faded to deal with anyone else right now.”

You thought for a second, before nodding slowly. “Alright, you can stay. On one condition, though. You share the weed.” JJ raised his brow at you. “I don’t like the taste of booze and I’m too jittery to calm myself down right now.”

“Alright. Say, your name is Y/N, right?” He asked as you took a drag of the blunt he’d just handed over. You nodded. “I’m JJ.”

You laughed a little bit. “You think I don’t know who you are? Really?” 

He grinned, the dimple on one of his cheeks showing. “Ah, I figured. I just thought it would be a better story to tell people when they ask how we got together if I introduced myself first.” You rolled your eyes, taking another puff from the joint before laying back down against the sand. You tilted your head to look at him, watching as he turned up the volume on the speaker before following your actions, his head turned to meet your eyes. 

“So I didn’t hear you disagree with me. About getting together eventually?” he smirked. 

You sighed at him. “Maybe because I’d be dumb not to take a chance.”

JJ arched his eyebrows and let out a heavy breath, clearly thrown by your candor. “I don’t know that I’d be a good boyfriend to you. At least not the kind of good you’d deserve.”

You shrugged, “Me neither.” You were smiling as you turned your face back to the sky and closed your eyes. Your fingertips eventually finding their way to each other, twining your fingers with JJ’s as you were wrapped in the starlight and music.

After that night, the two of you had hardly been seen apart for the coming months. The relationship had blossomed quickly. Both of you had eventually moved into John B’s house to get away from your families, as your parents were none too happy that you were dating a Pogue. To your family, JJ was nothing but a throwaway delinquent. 

“Why couldn’t you have stayed together with Kelce? Or go out with one of Sarah’s friends? Why did you have to pick the addict’s klepto kid?”

After that screaming match, you had shown up at John B’s in tears. He took you in without hesitation; since meeting him you two had formed something of a sibling bond. You had only gone back to your house once to grab your belongings with the Pogues escorting you. JJ never went back to his dad’s house. He always kept clothes in his knapsack, and he practically had an entire closet already set up at the chateau. There was no need to keep in touch with your families when you had each other.

Tonight was another one of the usual Pogue parties, them having taken hours to grab all of the kegs, cups, and matches they’d need for the night. Even though your boyfriend had invited you to come, you decided to stay in for the night. After he promised not to stay too late, you settled in with your Switch and some extra cozy blankets. 

After hours of doing side quests and avoiding the Greybeards, you heard your phone ring. Grabbing it, you see the Caller ID. It was the one you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to block yet.

Dad.

Your hands shook as you swiped on the green circle, and you raised the phone to your ear. “Hello?”

“Hi, Y/N.”

You took a deep breath. “Why are you calling me? I thought you didn’t want a daughter who chose a Pogue?”

“I’m calling to tell you that you need to come home. You’re fucking up your entire life for some boy that won’t even care about you once the lust fades. I’m saying this because I love you, Y/N. You’re my daughter, and I want what’s best for you.” You felt a small boil of rage in the pit of your stomach as you listened to his words. His tone was the same one he’d used back when you were living at home. It was the tone of honey-sweet words that dripped with threatening undertones, the one he’d use to get you to do whatever he wanted. What he wanted was to make himself look good to outsiders; Nothing he asked of you was for your happiness. 

“You don’t care about what’s right for me, dad, and you never did. If you did, you would accept me being with JJ, but you don’t. You don’t want me to be with him because you’re so goddamned worried about what the other families will think of you. I can’t believe you had the audacity to say you love me.” You felt hot tears slip from your eyes as you spoke and choked back the sobs trying to escape your throat.

“Listen, bitch. You’re lucky you’re eighteen, otherwise, I would have had you dragged back to the house the moment you left. You are the one who wrecked our family. You ruined my life, too, and I wish I would have left as soon as you were born, Y/N. This is all your fault. The locks are being changed tomorrow, got it? So don’t step a foot on my property, because you will be treated as a trespasser and you will be arrested. If you don’t come back tonight, you won’t have anyone who loves you anymore.” 

“Fine. Don’t fucking call me again, bastard,” you spat as you hung up. You ran a hand through your hair while you let the sobs shake your body, letting all of your previously trapped emotions out. After a good forty-five minutes of nothing but crying, you had finally worn yourself out and slipped into sleep. 

JJ walked into the Chateau as quietly as he could, only to find you asleep on the couch. He grinned as he walked over to where you were lying, moved your Switch and phone so they wouldn’t fall when you got up, and gently woke you. “Hey, baby.”

You groaned as you woke up, looking at the clock that read 3 am. “JJ, I thought you said you weren’t going to stay out late? And why do you smell like a distillery? How fucking much did you drink?” You were angry, and you were standing up now, face to face with your boyfriend. You felt the simmer in your stomach again, left over from earlier. 

You’re not gonna have anyone who loves you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I just lost track of time. I tried to text you to tell you I was going to be late, but it wouldn’t send. And I only had one beer, I’m not even buzzed.” He looked at you with a grimace on his face. “What is going on with you?” He could just see the exhaustion rimming your eyes and the tear stains on your cheeks. “Are you okay, love? You look like you do when you’ve been crying.”

You shook your head, still furious from your conversation earlier. “No, I’m not okay. My dad called tonight to tell me I ruined his life and the family, and that no one will love me, including you,” you said bitterly. JJ reached to grab your hand as he opened his mouth to speak. 

You pushed him away. “No. I don’t need your pity, JJ.” You turned on your heel to walk to your bedroom. “I needed you, and you weren’t here. You can’t do this, you fucking owed me that, JJ.” You knew you were being irrational, but you couldn’t help it. You were so hurt that you just wanted to hurt everyone around you.

He caught hold of your arm to turn you around with ease. You crossed your arms and glared daggers at the boy standing in front of you. “Y/N,” JJ sighed, “you’ve gotta meet me halfway here so I can help you. Stop fighting with me when I’m not the one you’re angry with. I know this sucks, and it hurts like hell, but you can’t just push me away. It doesn’t work like that when I’m here to stay. So tell me what’s actually going on.”

JJ watched you as the harsh expression decorating your face softened and tears welled in your eyes. “He said–he said that you would get bored of me. That you would only want me for a little while before the fascination faded,” you croaked. You let him wrap his arms around you, and rested your head against his chest. The hug was so warm and comforting, something you had never received from your family. After a minute of him holding you and murmuring comforting things, he pulled back so he could look you in the eyes.

“Baby, I hope you realize that I’m not going anywhere. I’m with you for the rest of time. And as long as I’m here with you, I’m not going to back down when you try to build those walls, okay? You’re the love of my life that I never thought I would find. It’s not something as little as lust, Y/N,” JJ promised you. “I’d be dumb not to take a chance on you, remember?”

JJ tilted his head to rest your foreheads together. “I’m sorry I was being so horrible to you, J. You’re more than I could have ever asked for, and I love you so incredibly much,” you whispered. JJ pressed a soft kiss to your lips, as he wiped a tear from your cheek with his thumb.

“Apology accepted, baby. No more trying to hurt each other just because we’re hurting, though, okay?” You nodded to him, a small smile taking its place on your lips. “Good. Let’s go get some rest now, huh?”

tags and moots ~ @jjsredhat @jjsbxtch @jjmayybank @pink-meringues @midnightmagicmusingsmain @maybanksbaby @kookkyra @aesthetic-lyss @soemthingsparkly @softstarkey @shawnssongs @drewswannabegirl @starlightstarkey @starksweasleymain @joshy-obx @jjmaybnks @obxjj @hmspxgue @uwubonebabie @jiaraendgame @poguestyle17 @topperthornton @obx-direction-sos

[starscheme]

With All My Heart

Chapter Twenty-One: The Last Obstacle?

A few hours had passed since Sodalite was healed. Once Garnet had reformed, the blue Gem spent nearly half an hour apologizing. It seemed even without taking in a Gems negative feeling, she was a rather anxious Gem.  Since she had come here looking for Pink, Steven had to explain what happened to his mother. It took little while, but eventually Sodalite understood and told them how she had gotten to earth.

Sodalite explained that she had escaped Homeworld before she was supposed to be shattered. When she heard about Pinks Colony, she tried to make her way to Earth, certain that Pink would protect her from Blue. Or at the very least, let her hide on Earth. Unfortunately, her ship malfunctioned and exploded somewhere in space. She floated aimlessly among the stars, her Gem broken from the explosion, until she met a girl that promised to help her. The girl pointed the way to Earth and vanished.

“So…this girl just happened to show up and help you before completely disappearing?” asked Garnet.

Sodalite nodded her head, “Yes. …At times I wondered if I had imagined her. I can’t even recall what she looked like. I just remember that she called herself Mara.”

“Mara…” Garnet repeated. “…well, we can look into that later. For now, we can get you a place to stay here on Earth.”

“I…I can’t stay with him?” Sodalite asked meekly as she pointed to Lars. Since he was the first person that didn’t frighten her, she had grown attached rather quickly.

Lars flinched a bit, “Ah, well I’m sure you’d feel more comfortable in your own home, right?”

“Come on. We can figure this all out on the way to Little Homeworld.” Garnet stated as she gently shooed Lars and Sodalite towards the door. “I’m sure you two have something to talk about. See you later,” added Garnet before she left the house with the other two.

Alone in the house again, Steven and Spinel stood in the middle of the living room, still reeling a bit from everything that had happened. It all started and ended so quickly and it was because of Sodalite that they all had been emotional and irrational. Spinel couldn’t help but worry that Steven might regret some of the choices he made while affected by Sodalite.

“…I guess…things should be calming down now, right?” Spinel asked, trying to break the silence.

“I hope so, but our lives are never that calm anyway,” Steven replied with a smile. He felt much more like himself now that all those awful feelings had been lifted from the air. “Garnet was right though, you and I need to have a talk before the others get back.”

Spinel didn’t like the sound of that. That’s usually what Pearl said when she had bad news or was about to scold her. Still, it’s not like she could run away from whatever he wanted to tell her. “O…Okay…” she mumbled sheepishly as she braced herself.

“We need to decide how to tell the others about us…” Steven began with a blush.

Spinel’s breathe hitched a bit, surprised by what he said. Tell the others? “…you mean…?”

“Well…I mean…I know we never really talked about making anything official,” Steven continued awkwardly. “…I wanted to wait and talk about it after we spoke to Pearl and the others…and I still need to speak with Connie. Just to clear the air you know? …and when my Dad gets back I’m sure he’ll be surprised…”

“S-So, you still want to be with me?! Like—like regular humans do?” Spinel asked with a hopeful smile.

Steven stared at Spinel with a blank expression for a moment. “Y…yeah. Did you think--? Seriously? After all this, you still think I’m gonna just change my mind and decide I don’t want you?”

Spinel shrunk a little, “…I was just…worried…” she admitted. “I still feel like I’m gonna wake up and find out I dreamed all this…”

Steven stepped  up to her and took Spinel’s hands before he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Well, if it does turn out to be dream, I’m pretty happy that you’re in it with me.”

Her cheeks burned terribly, “that’s so cheesy,” Spinel giggled.

“Well, you know me,” Steven laughed lightly. “…I hope Pearl won’t be too against this. I’m sure she will have something to say about it when we talk to her.”

“…She said she was worried I would get hurt,” began Spinel, “but I wonder if that’s really all it is.”

“It doesn’t matter if she disapproves or not. It will certainly make things awkward, but I’m sure in time she will come around. I just want to make things clear with them so that they all know exactly how our relationship will change. …and I…still want you to sleep in my bed, but I’m sure they won’t be too keen on that.”

“Why not? I’ve slept in your bed a lot of times.”

“Well…just because we’ll be alone in bed…and I might have trouble controlling myself—you know we can talk about all that stuff later on!” Steven backtracked quickly. They had a lot of stuff they needed to discuss, but most of it could wait until later. For now, just clearing the air with a few people was going to be difficult enough.

“I’m sure Lars will be happy that everything will be settled. We’ve troubled him a lot the past few days.” Spinel commented, still feeling guilty for putting their friend through so much because of her rash actions.

“You know…” began Steven irately, grabbing her waist and pulling her forward to hold her flush against his chest. “This is the second time you’ve mentioned his name when we’re close like this. Are you doing this on purpose?”

The moment he pulled her close, Spinel felt her heart skip a beat. “N-no. I just…thought he might be angry and I felt guilty.”

“I’m sure he’s not mad. He was trying to help, but if it makes you feel better, we can apologize to him again later on.” Steven smiled. Spinel often seemed irresponsible, but she cared so much about people. “In the meantime, do you want to rest a bit? It’s been such a long couple of days.”

As usual, Spinel wasn’t tired, but she was sure that Steven needed a nap after everything that happened. Nodding her head, she allowed Steven to lead her by the hand up to his bedroom. Steven really must have been tired, it wasn’t long after they laid down on the bed that he fell asleep while hugging Spinel close. She smiled while she looked at his sleeping face. All of this must have really worn him out. It was easy to forget how drained his human half could get. Still, she wasn’t lying to Steven before. There was a big part of her that worried this was all some dream. Even so, Spinel closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, finding it hard to stay awake when she was so comfortable.

While Steven and Spinel slept, the other Crystal Gems finally made their way home. Pearl took part in finding Sodalite a place to stay after tearing her away from Lars with some difficulty. Garnet and Amethyst healed the broken Gems and explained to them what had happened. Peridot was over the moon to have Lapis back to normal, though equally annoyed that her robonoids hadn’t found Garnet before this all got out of hand. As they were about to enter the house, Garnet stopped Pearl to speak with her.

“Now, remember what I told you,” Garnet began quietly.

“I know…” Pearl sighed, “…I’ll…keep an open mind, but—“

“—Just let them talk,” continued Garnet, “it might be difficult for you, but let them say their piece before you voice your concerns. Steven is growing fast and this is all new to Spinel. It’s going to be confusing enough for them, we shouldn’t pile on.”

Pearl knew Garnet was right, but this was hard for her. Spinel was like her little sister and Steven like a son. She always assumed he would fall in love with a Human and live a relatively normal human life with her. Also, what if one of them hurt the other? Two people that were very important to her would be upset. She didn’t like those odds at all. “I’ll do my best,” replied Pearl.

With that, they stepped inside the house. Pearl had expected for Spinel and Steven to be waiting for them, but when she didn’t see either of them, she couldn’t help feeling anxious. Had they gone to Rose’s room in the temple again? Just to make sure, Pearl walked up the stairs to Steven’s bedroom, and was surprised to find Spinel and Steven in bed asleep. Though she walked up to the bed with the intent of waking Spinel to make her leave, when she looked down at the two, Pearl lost her will to interfere. Steven looked so content while he held Spinel close and as she slept, Spinel’s gem was glowing lightly. Sighing in defeat, Pearl grabbed an extra blanket and placed it gently over the two. She still had her concerns about this, but for now, she would let them sleep and hope that their dreams were pleasant ones.

 When morning finally came, Spinel woke up in bed alone, a little disappointed that Steven had left with without waking her. Without Steven here, there wasn’t much point staying in his room. Ascending the stairs, she found herself a little confused to see the others Gems sitting at attention on the couch while Steven stood in front of them.

“Ah, I was just about to wake you,” Steven remarked before holding out his hand for her.

It was then that Spinel knew what was going on. They were going to talk about this so soon? She wasn’t so worried about Garnet or Amethyst, but she already knew that Pearl didn’t like this. With a deep breath, Spinel stepped over and took his hand, facing the others along with him. This was terribly awkward. It felt a lot like she was asking their permission to be with Steven and wasn’t sure what to do if they refused.

“…Well, um…I’m sure this isn’t a big surprise to you guys…” began Steven as he cleared his throat. After all, Pearl had caught them a couple of times in an intimate situation, Garnet could see the future, and Amethyst just seemed like she had expected this to happen. “…but um, I wanted to make it clear that...I…have feelings for Spinel and we—“

“—I LOVE STEVEN!” Spinel shouted nervously, finding herself panicking more than she thought she would.

Steven flinched a bit, surprised by her outburst. Perhaps they should have gone over what to say. “…y-yes…and I…love Spinel too,” he added, hoping Spinel would be less anxious about this as they went on. “Just to be clear, we’re not asking permission to be together or anything. …I wanted to tell you all because you’re important to me and…obviously since it’s Spinel and she’s been with you all for a long time…and we all live together…it just seemed like the right thing to do. …so…that’s…what we wanted to say.” He finished awkwardly. He’d played this out in his head, but facing them and talking about Spinel like this felt like strange. Surely telling his Dad would be a lot easier.

Amethyst smiled and shrugged her shoulders, “well, whatever you guys want to do, I’m cool with it.”

“Have you two really thought about this?” asked Pearl, her expression revealing that she was holding a lot back.

“What’s there to think about?” replied Steven, preparing himself for an argument. He knew how attached to Pearl Spinel was and she really took her words to heart. He didn’t want anything Pearl said to make Spinel doubt this or feel guilty.

“Lots of things,” insisted Pearl as she stood from her seat. “Spinel, you were MADE to care and love for your best friend, are you sure you’re not just confusing those feelings because you’ve never been in love before? And Steven, human feelings are meant to change, what if you fall for someone else? Or find you would rather be with a human girl? If you’re with a Gem, you surely won’t have a normal relationship like other humans. Not to mention, even if you won’t age as fast humans, you are still aging and Spinel won’t age at all. What if--?”

Garnet had stood and placed her hand on Pearls shoulder to stop her. Even with her warning not to pile too much stress on them, Pearl couldn’t seem to help it.

Steven glanced at Spinel and frowned when he saw her troubled expression. Sure enough, she looked like she was being berated by her older sister. “No, we haven’t talked about those things, because they are all just negative ‘what ifs.’ Starting a relationship…why would anyone constantly bring up the things that might go wrong? Spinel and I can’t see the future, but I’m not planning on any of that to happen. I don’t doubt that Spinel is being honest about her feelings and I’m certainly not planning on leaving Spinel on a whim, I’d like to think my feelings are stronger than that.”

“…B-but you two are so young, do you even really know what it means to devote yourself to someone? Saying you are in love…this could just be a crush or—“

“It’s not just some crush,” Steven insisted, gripping Spinel’s hand gently. “I’d know if it were. …I’ve known Spinel all my life, but I’m not a little kid anymore. Growing up…she’s been my best friend and I think…now that I’m older and understand what it means to love someone…romantically, my feelings for her started to change without me really knowing it.”

“Me too…” Spinel began finally. “…Steven’s always been my friend. It’s true that I...was made to be Pinks best friend and I was sure that meant I was made to be Steven’s friend too, but…this feeling is so big…I can’t be confusing it for something else. …and if I was confusing this feeling…wouldn’t I have been confused with Pink too? It’s not like this feeling happened overnight. In the last year or so…this feeling has just been building and getting stronger. So much so…it almost hurts.”

Steven blushed as Spinel spoke, mostly glad that she hadn’t let Pearls words question her feelings. Pearl appeared as if she had more to say, but Garnet stepped in front of her with a calm smile. “Pearl isn’t wrong. Because of how different you two are, there is a lot to consider, but that doesn’t mean this is doomed to fail or that your feelings aren’t real. Ultimately, the most important thing is that you two are happy.”

“O-of course we want you two to be happy,” added Pearl with a nervous smile. She didn’t want them to think she was trying to pry them apart; she was just concerned and honestly a little scared. Though she would prefer this never happened, Pearl didn’t want them to hate her if she was too against it. “…I’m just worried about you both…”  

After a little while of Spinel and Steven trying to reassure Pearl that everything would be okay, she seemed to finally concede defeat, at least for now. Still, it was clear that this was going to be an uphill battle with her. Even when the talk was over and Steven said they were going to take a walk, they were lucky Garnet was there to keep Pearl from tagging along. She seemed horribly reluctant to leave them alone together.

Once he and Spinel were outside walking along the sand, he couldn’t help but let out a long sigh. He figured Pearl would be difficult, but the talk was more exhausting than he anticipated. “…that…took longer than I thought.” He said finally.

“It would have been really short if it were just Amethyst and Garnet. …Pearl really seems like she doesn’t want us together…” replied Spinel, her pigtails drooping lightly.

“It doesn’t matter,” he added quickly, “like I said, we weren’t asking for permission. No matter what they ended up saying…I was prepared to stand my ground.”

Spinel nodded. Though initially she had been afraid that Pearl would disapprove, when it felt like she was about to, Spinel only felt more determined. “I don’t want Pearl to be upset with me, but...I nearly shattered at the thought of being without you. …so I know for sure that these feelings are real.”

Being forced to recall that incident, Steven felt a pit form in his stomach. She didn’t want to be without him and when he thought she was going to shatter, he couldn’t imagine a life without her either. He was just glad he didn’t have to lose her to realize how he felt about her. After all that happened, he wasn’t about to let a few disapprovals make him miss out on being happy with his best friend. Of course he didn’t know how the future would play out, but he wasn’t planning on making Spinel unhappy. He had the opportunity to make her happier than she had ever been and he wouldn’t let that pass him by. “I’m sure Pearl will come around. In the meantime, you and I will be together…and that’s all I need.”

Spinel blushed, unable to hide her joy as her Gem began to glow softly. “…that’s all I need too.”

Steven stopped walking, glad to see Spinel’s sweet smile. He truly loved her smile. Taking her hand, he leaned forward to kiss her lips, but was interrupted when they heard Pearl calling for them frantically from the house. With an irritated sigh, Steven pulled back and looked back at the house. “…I’m going to talk to Pearl about some…boundaries. Let’s head back before she comes after us.” He relented, turning to walk back, already prepared to argue with Pearl about some privacy issues that were already frustrating him.

Spinel laughed softly as she watched him walk off, but before she was able to take a step forward and follow after him, she was distracted by a strange flash of bright light that forced her to cover her eyes for a moment.

“Spinel? Are you coming?” Steven called back, waiting for her just a little up ahead.

Though she felt lightheaded at first, with a quick shake of her head, everything was back to normal. She was sure the sun had just gotten in her eyes and thought nothing more of it as she ran over to join Steven. No matter what obstacles they faced now, none of that would matter so long as she could be with him. Together with him, they could handle anything that came their way, couldn’t they?

 A/N: As of this Chapter, With All My Heart has ended. I’m so grateful for everyone’s support and interest in this story. Thank you all for sticking with Steven and Spinel while they sorted out their feelings. The Sequel, “Only You,” will be out tomorrow with its first Chapter and I hope you will all like that story just as much, if not more. :)

Short Summary of Only You:

It’s been a few months since Spinel and Steven made everything official and Steven is planning a big surprise for his Gem Girlfriend on their anniversary. However, when Steven notices a troubling change in Spinel, he goes to the other Gems for help. What they discover will change their futures and threaten to destroy Steven and Spinel’s relationship forever. What should have been a day to celebrate their love becomes a race against the clock. What’s happened to Spinel? Will Steven be able to help her before everything falls apart?

[taciturnrebel]

drabble  :  1620 word count.   @niflim​   &   @saigeonmain​

I knew from the moment my mother saw the mako-blue in his eyes, she would disapprove, she would hate him regardless of my feelings or his. The shock on her face upon seeing him sat in our kitchen tonight was quick to elevate to anger. And I could see her fingers twitch, wanting to reach for the shotgun hidden in a cupboard nearby to rid herself and us from that which she saw as a living abomination in the world. Fortunately, Cloud picks up on the sudden tenseness in the room and excuses himself to wait outside. He probably saved himself a maiming as well as me having to ask him to leave, something I really did not want to do. I want him here. I want her to want him here, but I know far too well that is not going to happen anytime soon, maybe never.

For a long time, mom stares at our backdoor with the same steely gaze I too had inherited from her. If looks could conjure spears of ice and send them through that door to murder my boyfriend, I don’t think she would hesitate. “Why was that SOLDIER here? Did he hurt you?!” Her attention finally turns to me, and much to my grief, she had not picked up on why he was here, which means I’ll have to tell her myself. Wonderful. She fusses over me as if I were still a child, checking for injuries or any sign of mistreatment, ignoring my protests as I try to avoid those maternal hands.

“Speak to me, Squall. Tell me.” She asks, impatience quick to slip into her voice. This is gonna get rough, she’s already at full anger.

“No, I’m fine. And Cloud isn’t with SOLDIER anymore.” He never really was, but I can’t explain that all right now. Too headachey.

“What? I don’t understand. Why is he here then? Why is my son talking to any product of Shinra?!”

It’s almost like she’s forgotten that I worked for Shinra, even if it was for the benefit of finding her husband. I wish dad were here right now because I know already that he would like Cloud, so would sis, but they’re miles away in Wutai setting up the house while mom closes a deal on our property here. I guess having her husband back hadn’t softened her as much as I would have liked.

“Mom don’t talk about him like that. He’s a person, not a thing.”

“No, Squall. They were human once upon a time ago. But once Shinra puts all that crap in them, they become something else, something inhuman.”

“Oh right, because you know so many former SOLDIER, huh? Cloud is kind…most of the time, he just tends to come off as a bit of an ass sometimes.”

“Wait, so you’ve seen…spent time with him before?” Shit. For a woman so on the ball with everything else, I’m surprised she’s so oblivious to what’s going on here. I’m really just going to have to lay this out for her and hope for a best-case scenario, of which there is none.

“Yeah, I’ve known Cloud for a while now. We’re….uhh, sort of dating, well, not sort of dating, he’s my boyfriend, mom.”  Suddenly, it feels like meteor fall over again. A darkness pierces the place that had been our home for ten years, and I can see the blood drain from my mother’s face in sheer horror, and I can see her reliving the past where we had once been the prey of SOLDIER. I don’t remember that time well, but thinking back on it as I got older and then now, she had been on constant guard, snappy, and she wouldn’t let Elle or me out of her sight for even a minute. SOLDIER frightened her then, they frighten her now too. I can’t blame her either. “Mom, it’s okay. Cloud isn’t like those guys that came after us back then. If you just got to know him, you would see that. May---”

“Why are you doing this, Squall?” She asks, accusation rising in her tone as if I had committed a terrible crime rather than fall in love.

“I’m…I’m not doing anything, it just happened.”

“It doesn’t just happ---there will be plenty of suitable women and men for you in Wutai, son. They will know and understand you better than a lab rat ever could. You get along so well with Yuffie, wouldn’t she make a great girlfriend?”

“Are you kidding me right now?” I’m trying to keep my composure as she picks and chooses partners for me that aren’t the one I want, but it’s hard. I had known for years that she would prefer for me to be with someone of our ethnicity because it’s safer, there won’t be any prejudice in Wutai if I were with someone from Wutai. That doesn’t matter to me though, I know for the first time in my life who I want for me, that’s never happened before. “You can’t just expect me to up and forget about him because that’s what you want! I’m happy, doesn’t that count for anything in your narrow-minded little world?”

Facing down her stare is worse than facing down any kind of blade. Is that how I look to people? I just called her narrow-minded, and I’m getting nothing in return which can only mean she’s beyond the point of any normal anger. I can only imagine what Cloud must be thinking about this right now unless he’s already decided to run away. I would if my boyfriend’s mother referred to me as a thing rather than a person. What if this scares him off for good? One of the few positives in my life and she might be about to ruin it.

“I’m going to keep seeing him whether you like it or not. This is my life, and he’s what makes me happy, isn’t that what you want for me?”

“Are you sleeping with him?” I’m certain my jaws drops open as those words leave my mom’s lips. If she hadn’t already made me uncomfortable before, I definitely was now.

“W—What?”

“I asked if you’re having sex with him, Squall.” I suddenly do not appreciate how blunt I can be at times when I hear it from her.

“That’s none of your business. I’m twenty years old.”

“Are you using protection?”

“It’s none of yo---”

“It is my business, Squall Leonhart! You are my son, and god knows what he might be passing on to you from the tube he crawled out of.” I’m stunned, my horror surely matching her own from earlier. I know she’s not that ignorant, she’s just trying to scare me and make me end this relationship, but that won’t work. If she only knew who had been here before Cloud was in my life, her opinion might swiftly change. He’s not perfect, and I never asked for perfect, he’s flawed like everyone else, like me. Maybe now she will realise I’m not her perfect little baby boy anymore, stars know she needs to.

“You need to stop seeing that man now before things end badly. Those SOLDIER people aren’t capable of love.” How little she knows, but I will not divulge the details of Aerith to her. That wound still hasn’t healed on either of us.

“No, I won’t.” I reply the iron will in my tone unshakeable this time. I’m not going to let anyone’s fear take this away from me, not even hers, and I need her to see that. “I love him.”

The mask cracks, her steel tears like a piece of paper, now she knows this is serious. Hands press to her face in despair for this is something that can’t be controlled, she can’t stop my heart from wanting what it wants, neither can I. “I can’t approve of this, Squall. There is a monster in his heart, a darkness in his soul from what Shinra has done to him. And I truly believe he will hurt you at the end of it all.” The mother I know is back who speaks only with loving concern, not from malice. But she still fails to realise that Cloud isn’t the only person capable of causing pain. Maybe I’ll break his heart one day.

“There’s no monster or darkness in him…he’s just, he’s Cloud, a little lost, sad, and he pretends to be a lot cooler than he really is. Maybe we have those things in common.” I can tell she still doesn’t want to hear the opposite of what she believes to be true, her lips purse into a tight line, but at least she isn’t trying to fight me on it anymore, not today anyway. “I’m gonna go stay with Cloud tonight, let you cool off. I’ll even give you the house address if it really worries you so much. But I promise mom, I’m not making a mistake with him.” I stand to leave, the old wooden chair scraping across floor tiles. Hopefully, he’s still outside waiting for me, Cloud isn’t the type to abandon someone he cares about.

As I shrug on my jacket, mom appears silently at my side. I’ve never understood how she managed to do that, but I cease contemplating it when she pulls me into a hug, I hug her back tighter than I usually might to show what can’t be said right now. Even if two hearts eventually end up broken at the end of the day, if myself and Cloud hurt one another, there will always be her love for me to fall back on even if she sometimes shows it in brutal ways.

[lunatens]

soulmates: joshua

word count: 2868

part: 3/?

genre: fluff, angst kind of?

pairing: joshua x gender neutral reader, some junhao on the side

warnings: drinking, a guy gets creepy and touchy with y/n 

summary: your soulmate’s name is covered by a scar—leaving only a mysterious “j” for you to decipher.

~~~

“minghao, which outfit makes me look better?” you ask, walking out of your closet in your second of two outfits you’ve tried on for the party tonight. minghao has a thoughtful look on his face and he squints his eyes to focus.

“hm...the first one.” he finally decides. you change back into your first choice (you were secretly hoping minghao would pick this one anyways) and gather the rest of the things you need for the party. minghao heads to the fridge to grab the drinks he got for the two of you; jun agreed to be the designated driver again. after the last couple days without jeonghan as your boyfriend, you feel like you need to let loose tonight and have fun, so you told minghao to go wild with drinks. he says he’s proud of you, but jun just shakes his head in disapproval at the two of you when he sees the amount of alcohol you have.

“i can’t believe you two sometimes,” he says, leading you to his car. the three of you jam out to your favourite songs on the drive to jeonghan’s, getting into the party mood. you know jeonghan has invited as many people as possible, so that the odds of finding his soulmate are higher. your mood falls slightly at the thought—you still haven’t fully moved on from him, and you’re not sure if you’re ready to see him with someone else.

“heyyyy!!” seokmin yells from the lawn when he sees you arrive. he’s playing some strange game with some of the other boys—even from this distance, you can tell they’ve already started drinking. you giggle at them, cracking open a can on your way inside. you’re not entirely sure what minghao bought, but you trust him.

“woah y/n, wait for me!” minghao says before joining you in your first drink of the night. you enter the familiar house, and you find yourself actually excited for this party now.

“i’m gonna go say hi to jeonghan,” you say, leaving your friends on the dance floor. you walk around the corner towards the kitchen, but you aren’t paying attention and you collide with someone, spilling your drink on their shirt.

“oh my gosh, i’m so sorry!!” you blurt.

“it’s okay, don’t worry about it,” the girl says, attempting to rub at the wet fabric. when she does this, her shirt gets tugged down slightly and your heart stops when you catch a glimpse of the elegant black letters on her collarbone: yoon jeonghan.

“oh my god. stay-stay right here, i’ll be back!” you say, rushing off and leaving the confused girl behind. you dart through crowds of people, scanning for jeonghan. as you’re pushing your way through the dance floor someone bumps into you, accidentally shoving you right into someone else.

“oops! i’m sorry!” you say, looking up at the person who’s arms you fell into.

“oh, hi josh!” you say as your gaze sets on his soft face (that’s alarmingly close to yours). you stand up and step back a little.

“hey y/n, what’s up?” he asks casually.

“can you help me find jeonghan? it’s an emergency; i think i found his soulmate,” you say, cheeks burning red. joshua’s eyes widen at your words.

“oh my god, we have to find him. i know where he might be, follow me,” he says, giving you a soft smile. he turns into the crowd and you go to follow him. unfortunately, the dancing bodies make it hard to do so, and you find yourself stuck behind. “wait! josh!!” you yell. he turns and realizes what happened. moving back towards you, he sticks out his hand (of course you notice the soft blush on his cheeks but you pretend you don’t see it) and you take hold of it. gently, he pulls you through the crowd and eventually you emerge safely on the other side.

“he should be upstairs in his room; i saw him go up there a little while ago,” he says, gesturing towards the staircase. “good luck,” joshua turns to head back, finally letting go of your hand. “hold on,” you say. joshua spins back around at your words, attentive. “ yeah?”

“there’s a girl who’s—hopefully—standing in the kitchen with a drink spilled on her shirt. can you go talk to her and make sure she doesn’t go anywhere until i come back with jeonghan?” you ask.

“yeah of course,” josh says and heads back into the sea of people. you walk up to jeonghan’s room, knocking lightly on the door.

“come in,” he says, and so you walk into his familiar room. he’s sitting on the edge of his bed, and he looks up at your approach. you sit beside him, touching his shoulder lightly.

“what are you doing up here? the party’s down there,” you ask. jeonghan looks at the floor with a weak smile.

“it’s stupid,” he says. you furrow your eyebrows.

“i’m sure it’s not, jeonghan. you can tell me anything; we might not be together anymore but that doesn’t make me any less of a friend to you,” you say. reassured, he looks back up to meet your eyes.

“i just—i threw this huge party to try and find my soulmate, but down there among the people, i’m not sure if i’m ready yet. what if they’re not as good as you? what if the universe made a mistake?” he tells you. you soften at his words. “oh, jeonghan,” you say, pulling him into a hug.

“the universe didn’t make a mistake, we just weren’t meant to be together. you know that. our relationship was amazing and everything i could have hoped for, but we both need to move on from it. you’re such an amazing person, i know your soulmate will be too,” you pull away from him and stand up.

“you’re right, y/n. moving on has been hard but after hearing that i think i can do it. thank you,” he says, letting out a sigh.

“now come on, i have something to show you,” you say as you flash him a grin, trying to contain your excitement. you were worried you’d feel jealous of the girl, but after your moment with jeonghan, you just feel happy for him. he follows you downstairs and you go to the kitchen—walking around the crowd this time instead of through it. you spy two figures standing by the kitchen door and you’re flooded with relief; thank god joshua found her.

“i think you should go talk to that girl,” you say, pointing towards her.

“...why?” jeonghan questions. you simply shrug and shoo him away. when he walks over, saying hi to joshua who gives him a grin and a pat on the shoulder before leaving him and heading over to you.

“i can’t wait to see this,” josh says. “me too,” you agree. from the distance you’re at you can’t hear what they’re talking about, but you can clearly see them. suddenly, jeonghan’s face turns from an awkward shy smile to a face of shock; his eyes open wide and his cheeks are flooded with a bright red you can see even from here. a huge smile breaks into his face, and he turns and flashes you a thumbs up. he says something to the girl, and now it’s her turn to freak out. she turns to you and also gives you a thumbs up, to which you and joshua laugh.

jeonghan guides the girl outside, and you feel satisfied and happy with yourself. “good job, y/n,” josh says and gives you a high five. “was that hard for you to do?” he asks with concern. you shake your head in response.

“no, actually. i think it helped me let that last bit of him go,” you say, accepting the truth and feeling at peace with yourself. of course you still needed to find your soulmate, but for now, that could wait until you found the person with your name on their collarbone.

joshua gives you a look of admiration. he opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by a shout.

“yo josh! come outside for a sec! you gotta see what seungkwan just did,” vernon yells from closer to the front door.

“i gotta go, i’ll see you later,” he says, giving you a tiny wave before heading to vernon. you’re left alone watching joshua walk away. you think back again to when you met him around the campfire what seems like ages ago, and to all the times he helped you out in class, and to how his name starts with a j...

you shake your head at that thought. you don’t want to risk another jeonghan incident; you know josh’s birthday isn’t until the end of the year, so you don’t want to accidentally catch feelings for him. you decide you might just try harder to be his friend, despite his warm eyes, soft lips, cute nose...no! you grab another drink from minghao’s cooler, cutting off your own thoughts. you chug it, then immediately open another one (which you drink slower). you’ve had a few drinks at this point and you’re really starting to feel the effects kicking in.

you decide to let loose and head to the dance floor to have some fun. you pass by junhui and minghao pressed up against a wall taking part in a pretty heavy makeout session, and you snicker at them on your way to the main room.

the alcohol is really kicking in now, and you’re clumsily dancing and singing along with the strangers on the dance floor. you’re slightly dizzy from all the movement, but you’re having fun. you feel a pair of large hands suddenly on your waist and someone presses up against your back. you frown, trying to push them away as you wiggle out of their reach. you turn to see a boy standing there, quite a bit taller than you.

“what’s the matter baby, you don’t wanna dance?” he says, stepping closer towards you. “you’re so hot...come upstairs with me,” he purrs into your ear, curling an arm around your waist and squeezing your butt. he starts dragging you towards the outside of the crowd, keeping a tight grip on you.

“what the hell?? get away from me!” you say, shoving him away as hard as you can. luckily you’re close to the edge of the crowd now, so it isn’t too hard to get away. hot tears stream down your face and you run your hands frantically through your hair, heart beating fast from the fear of what just happened. you look behind you too see if the guy followed you, but you don’t see him. you make eye contact with joshua, who’s standing with vernon at the front door. he smiles at you, but his face clouds over with concern when he realizes you’re upset. he quickly says bye to vernon then jogs over to you.

“y/n!! are you okay?? what happened?” he asks, voice filled with worry. you immediately break down in front of him, telling him what happened in between sobs. a look of horror takes over joshua’s face, and he gently takes your hand in his.

“come with me, you’ll be safe in jeonghan’s room; it’s off limits to the rest of the party.” you nod, wiping the tears from your eyes and following close behind joshua. you grip his hand tightly, glancing back towards the crowd in fear. the colour drains from your face when you see the guy near the edge of the crowd, approaching a girl.

“josh...that’s him,” you say, shakily pointing to the guy. joshua calls vernon over, since he’s not very far away now, and very quickly explains what happened. he gestures to the guy, and vernon rushes towards the crowd, signalling for seungcheol (who’s standing just outside) to join him.

“don’t worry y/n, they’ll take care of him and make sure he learns his lesson. he’ll never step foot in any of jeonghan’s parties again,” joshua says as he leads you up the stairs. you make it to jeonghan’s room, and he flicks on the light switch and closes the door behind you. he grabs a blanket from the floor and wraps it around your shoulders, guiding you to the bed, where he props pillows up against the headboards for you.

“okay, make yourself cozy and comfy. are you okay if i leave for a couple minutes? i promise i’ll be right back,” he says. you give him a nod, wrapping yourself up tighter in the blanket and hugging your knees. joshua leaves quickly, and you’re left alone in jeonghan’s room. your heart rate is finally slowing down and you’re starting to calm; joshua’s actions helped you feel so much better. you’re grateful you were able to get out of there quickly, and that he was right there to help you. you send a text to jun and minghao explaining what happened and where you were in case they went to look for you—although judging by the last time you saw them, you figure they’re too occupied to be checking their phones.

the door opens not too long after and joshua comes back in, carrying a steaming mug and some toast.

“sorry i know it’s not much, but i figured it might help you feel at least a little better. be careful, it’s hot,” he says, passing you the mug full of piping hot tea. he climbs onto the bed beside you, grabbing the remote to jeonghan’s tv from the bedside table. “i texted jeonghan; i’m not sure where he is but until he sees the text let’s watch something funny! i always watch this show to make me feel better,” joshua says sheepishly, putting on an episode of spongebob squarepants. you smile faintly, looking up at josh’s face as he watched the screen intently. you sip your tea and take a bite of your toast, inching closer to joshua for support.

“thanks for all of this, josh. i don’t know what i would’ve done without you,” you mumble, growing drowsy.

“what are friends for?” he replies, brushing a stray hair out of your face. your eyes flutter closed and your head rests on joshua’s shoulder. the door breaks open as jeonghan enters. he gives the two of you a suspicious look, then smirks at joshua.

“i got your text, is y/n okay???” jeonghan whispers. he’s trying not to wake you up, but you can still hear the conversation as you slip in and out of conciousness.

“yeah, they’re doing better now. i’ll make sure they’re safe.”

“you seem to be doing a pretty good job of that...you know, y/n’s really special, josh,” jeonghan says.

“oh believe me, i know,” josh replies, looking down at your still form.

“alright, well i’ll leave you here with them. i’ll make sure jun and minghao make their way up here to bring them home at some point,” jeonghan says. “take good care of them,” he adds, softly closing the door and leaving you alone with josh. you lie there for a while, not quite asleep, the glow of the tv and the faint sounds of spongebob enough to keep you awake just by a thread. eventually the door opens again and minghao and jun come rushing to your side. you rub your eyes and sit up, sleepily waving hi to your two friends.

“y/n!! i’m so sorry we didn’t get your text until jeonghan found us!! he told us everything, are you okay? no—dumb question. also hi josh, thanks for taking care of y/n,” minghao says, clearly still buzzing.

“let’s get you home, okay?” jun asks, helping you out of the bed. you frown at the loss of joshua’s warmth, still groggy with sleepiness. jun and minghao look back and forth between you and joshua, then at each other, then back to you.

“we’ll meet you at the car okay? make sure josh helps you down the stairs,” jun says, pulling a smirking minghao away (he flashes you a wink, but you’re too tired to notice or care). slowly, josh supports you as you make your way down the stairs. the party is still going, although it’s a little bit less crowded than before.

“thanks again, josh,” you say, pulling him in for a hug. a blush spreads across his face, and perhaps your cheeks feel a little rosy yourself. “i’ll never hesitate to help you out y/n, just call and i’ll be at your side,” he says with a reassuring smile. “now you’d better get home! you deserve a nice long sleep,” he says, ushering you towards the car.

“goodnight joshua,” you mumble, collapsing into the backseat. he chuckles, waving through the window at you. “goodnight, y/n.”

the rest of the night is a blur, but you remember jun helping you into your bed, ruffling your hair before leaving. the last thing you remember before passing out is a text from joshua of a stupid spongebob meme. you laugh to yourself, then your face hits the pillow and the world turns to black.

[hunter-the-sad-skeleton]

never made the cut [I'm slightly concerned but fuck it]

(Self Insert Selfship Time! Tw: self harm, suicide attempt, depression, self hatred, self destruction, self deprecating, eating problems, suicide ideation, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, self starvation, negative thoughts, cutting, insecurity, peer pressure, relationship anxiety, feelings of worthlessness, ect. Note That This Is A Vent Selfship Fanfic, So It Gets DARK. If ANY Of These Warnings Are Something You’re Sensitive About, Don’t Risk Your Mental Health! I Just Needed To Get Some Feelings Out Here! I Don’t Do Any Of The Things Mentioned Here, So Don’t Worry About Me! With The Warnings Out Of The Way, Let’s Go To The Angst!)

“ALRIGHT OWLS, LET’S TAKE IT STRRRAIGHT FROM THE TOP!!!” Conductor instructed. “Oh, and uh, Stolas, was it? STAY OUT OF SCENE UNTIL I TELL YER TA COME IN SCENE THIS TIME!!!!” The Conductor yelled. Hunter tapped him on the shoulder and gestured that he was going to the restroom. “Arright, Lad...! Ya know where it is...!” The Conductor whispered. Hunter nodded, speeding off. The Conductor chuckled as he hurried off. He DID have a habit of putting off going to the bathroom until it was almost too late...! “HEY!!!! STOLAS!!! I SAW YE POKE YER HEAD OUT!!! IT’S NOT SCENE 69 YET SO GET OUTTA HERE!!!” The Conductor yelled.

Hunter shakily walked into the bathroom, small backpack slung over his shoulders. He picked a stall and locked himself in, sitting down in front of the toilet. He quietly opened his backpack, pulling out a small pocket knife. Hunter took a deep breath, ignoring how shaky his hand was. He always got shaky with this, but not to this degree. In the back of his head, he heard the voice coming back. “Do it, ya know ya wanna.” Every time he tried ignoring it, it got louder. He eventually couldn’t fight back anymore and gave in.

Grooves padded into the restroom, having just taken a break from shooting. He was...somewhat happy with his current script, but sadly it was too late to change it. As he went to go into one of the stalls, he saw something pooling near the door of the stall next to him. He thought it was just water, then the smell hit. His breath hitched; had someone gotten hurt? He steeled himself, knocking gently. “Hello? Is someone in there? Are-Are ya hurt?” Grooves asked gently. He didn’t get a response. His eyebrows furrowed in worry. No response, that’s not good. Grooves knocked again, harder this time. “Darlin’, if you’re hurt, I can go get help.” Grooves said calmly. Still no response. Great. Now he was INSANELY worried. He remembered the stall; the large one at the back. He went to grab assistance from the receptionist to open the stall.

“Hello? Little Chirper? Can ya unlock the door for us please? DJ Grooves is worried about ya.” The receptionist called. No response. “I can’t reach over. besides, climbing over is a liability.” The receptionist sighed. The Conductor walked in, jumping in surprise that the bathroom was this busy.

“Toilet trouble?” He asked. Grooves shook his head.

“Someone’s locked themselves in and we can’t get their attention. They seem to be hurt.” Grooves explained. The Conductor’s breath hitched. Hunter never came back from the bathroom.

“Move.” The Conductor breathed shakily.

“What?” Grooves asked, confused.

“I SAID MOVE!!” Conductor said, getting a running start from the back of the room. Grooves and the receptionist yelped in surprise, pressing themselves against the other stalls to get out of the way. As the Conductor’s foot made contact with the stall door, it flew off the hinges, smashing against the wall with a crash. The Conductor got up and looked around, gaze landing on the front of the toilet. “Oh....this cannae be happening....” The Conductor gasped. Grooves and the receptionist poked in.

“What’s the matter, Conductor, Darling?” Grooves asked.

“Me bag.” The Conductor croaked out. Grooves was confused.

“What?” Grooves asked.

“Go, and grab me bag!!!!” The Conductor snapped. Grooves jumped.

“Darling, is everything okay?”

“GROOVES, GO GRAB ME BAG NOW, A LIFE IS ON THE LINE HERE!!!!” The Conductor yelled. Grooves jumped, nodding and hurrying off. The Conductor hugged Hunter closely, humming a tune.

“Hush now little one, it’s okay....~! Keep on breathing, it’s just another day....~! I’m here to keep the bad dreams at bay....~! The monsters under the bed aren’t here to stay....~! I’m here, I’ll always be near....~! There’s nothing to fear....~! To me heart, you’re very dear...~! In me sky, you’re the sun, stars, and moon....~! For you to stay with me, I’d ask for no other boon...~! Call for me, I’ll be there soon...~! I know that our hearts beat in tune....~!” The Conductor hummed softly, rocking back and forth, hugging Hunter.

Grooves raced around the owl express, searching for the Conductor’s bag. “U-Um, hello?” An express owl called.

“Oh! Hello! I’m just looking for the Conductor’s bag, you haven’t seen it anywhere, have you?” Grooves asked.

“Wh-Why?” The owl asked.

“It’s an emergency, darlin’.” Grooves explained. The owl saw the concern through his glasses and took him to the bag.

The Conductor started worrying as time passed. “Come on, Grooves...where are ya, ya peckneck.....” The Conductor winced. He looked down, seeing how deep Hunter went. There was so much blood...there was SO. MUCH. BLOOD. He would HAVE to call an ambulance if Grooves didn’t hurry his duff up. Grooves returned as swiftly as he could with the bag.

“Here, Darlin’.” Grooves said handing it over.

“Thank you, Grooves.” The Conductor said, pulling out some gauze and medical tape, starting to bandage up Hunter’s arms.

“Is he...?” Grooves asked nervously.

The Conductor dropped the tape, making sure he got everywhere. “Receptionist, call an EMT, we have an emergency here. He’s lost too much and he cannae stay awake for very long periods of time.” The Conductor ordered. The receptionist was shocked. “Well?! Get moving!!” The Conductor snapped.

“Right away!” The Receptionist said, speeding off. The Conductor rubbed Hunter’s head, hoping to wake him up.

“C...Conductor...? Why....Why are you here...?” Hunter choked.

Conductor smiled weakly. “I heard there was a party in here, so I decided to join the fun.” He said, attempting to lighten the mood. Hunter looked him over.

“Oh no....your poor shirt and tie....!” Hunter lamented.

“What, these old things? Please, I can just wash them when I get home.” The Conductor smiled. Hunter frowned, eyes drooping. “Lad, no, don’t black out on me again!” The Conductor begged. Hunter’s breathing seemed to be more ragged, more harsh. He was visibly struggling to stay awake.

“I’m sorry......the voices-they wouldn’t stop.....” Hunter coughed.

The Conductor hushed Hunter. “Save it lad, ye need to save yer energy. Just stay awake fer me, alright lad?” The Conductor pleaded.

“I’m so tired, Conductor...I’m so tired of hurting…” Hunter wheezed. The Conductor’s gaze softened, hoping to relax Hunter.

“Aye, I know, lad, but ye just got ter hold on a wee bit longer, alright?” The Conductor asked, holding his hand. Hunter coughed and The Conductor winced at the harsh sound.

“I’m...so sorry...I’m so sorry I slipped….” Hunter apologized. The Conductor frowned.

“Lad, stop with this apologetic nonsense. You’re nae at fault. If anyone in this room is at fault, it’s me. I shouldae come here to check on yer after the first hour passed.” The Conductor scolded.

Hunter shook himself awake, vision starting to blur again. “I just wanna sleep...” Hunter whimpered. 

“Not yet, lad...Please...Hold on...” The Conductor pleaded.

“You look so blurry...I....” Hunter started before blacking out.

“LAD!!!!” The Conductor yelped. Medics rushed in, taking Hunter out to an ambulance, The Conductor following inside to keep Hunter company on the ride to the hospital. “It’s gonna be okay lad...I promise...!”

(Timeskip a few days.)

Hunter woke up, arms sore and barely able to feel his hands. When he looked at them, they were tightly wrapped in medical tape, stained red. Seems that they weren’t replaced. What happened though....?

“Lad! Yer okay!” The Conductor beamed. 

“Heya bud...! What happened exactly...?” Hunter asked.

“Ye slipped again, but we got to ye in time!” The Conductor explained. Hunter looked at his arms in disappointment.

“........Dammit.” Hunter cursed.

“Lad, it’s okay...! We all slip sometimes...! What matters is that we got to ye in time to prevent anything worse from happening...!” The Conductor comforted.

“I was clean for almost a month this time, Conductor!!! I was SO CLOSE!!” Hunter snapped.

“Lad, it’s okay, we’re in the here, we’re in the now, all that matters is that you’re okay...!” The Conductor stressed.

“ But I-” Hunter started.

“I wouldn’t recommend fighting him on this, Darlin’.” Hunter looked at the doorway. Grooves visited..! “You’ll only lose~!” Grooves teased.

“Grooves...? What’re ya doin’ here...?” Hunter asked.

“Visitin’ a close friend of course~! He’s a super cool guy who’s super good at animating~! His name begins with ‘H’ and rhymes with punter~!” Grooves teased.

“Oh shut up, Groovypants...!” Hunter chuffed. Grooves ruffled Hunter’s hair, earning a squeak of disapproval. 

“Still calling me Groovypants, huh, Darlin’? I guess I can still call ya ‘Little Bro’ then, huh?” Grooves joked. 

“Not little, not your brother..!” Hunter peeped.

“Well, you’re five foot three, I’m five foot six, you’re smaller than me, so you’re little~!” Grooves beamed.

“How’s everyone been holdin’ up without me?” Hunter asked.

“Darlin’, everyone’s been down in the dumps without ya! Even good ol’ Conductor~!” Grooves grinned. The Conductor’s face heated up to a bright orange.

“Well-I mean...” The Conductor stammered, all knowledge of the english language failing him.

“Really...?” Hunter asked.

Grooves nodded, grin growing wider. “This whole time with ya in here has just been him bein’ all like,” Grooves cleared his throat. “ ‘I cannae wait until me Hunter returns, this workplace is garish and borin’ without ‘im!!’ “ Grooves said, putting on his best Conductor voice.

“He said that...?” Hunter blushed.

“Well, that’s a bit exaggerating...!” The Conductor stuttered.

“Darlin’, he loves ya! He can’t wait for ya to recover and come back to work!” Grooves beamed.

The Conductor’s face was a bright orange. “Grooves!!!” He blurted out.

“Get well soon, darlin’! We all miss ya!” Grooves said. “Conductor darlin’, everyone said it’s okay if ya can’t make it to the shoot today, they understand that you’re not quite in the right mindset to work right now!” Grooves informed.

“Thanks, lad...” The Conductor sighed.

Grooves smiled, waving before walking out.

“So, ya missed me, huh?” Hunter smiled.

The Conductor’s face somehow heated up more and his ears flopped down. “N-Now wait a minute-” 

“Conductor, it’s fine! It’s...Actually really sweet!” Hunter smiled.

“Well....Ye do have this...Positive air to ye...” The Conductor stammered.

“Awww~!” Hunter teased.

“Shut up, lad...!” The Conductor “rolled his eyes”

“Also bud, guess what~!” Hunter grinned.

“What?” The Conductor asked.

“Ya just talked with DJ Grooves and never ONCE called him a peckneck~! You’re goin’ soft~!” Hunter teased.“WELL I NEVER!!!! HE’S A NO GOOD PECKNECK!!! HE’S A FILTHY PECKNECK OF A MOON PENGUIN IS WHAT HE IS!!! HE’S A COWARD!!! HE’S A SAD EXCUSE FOR A MOVIE DIRECTOR!!!” The Conductor jabbed.

“Conductor...” Hunter sighed, shaking his head. As The Conductor continued ranting, Hunter tapped him on the shoulder.

“What?” He pipped. Hunter stole his hat, holding it just out of his reach. “HEY!!” He squawked. Hunter laughed, dangling it just out of his reach.

“What’s wrong bud~? Just grab it~!” Hunter teased.

“I’M TRYING!!” He pipped, reaching as far as he could. Hunter laughed as he was barely brushing his fingers against the brim of the cap. In a last stitch effort, he pecked a quick smooch to Hunter’s cheek, shocking him at the sudden gesture and freezing him long enough for him to steal his hat back. “That’s what ye get, ye handsome devil!” He peeped. Hunter’s face was covered with a bright blue blush. The Conductor laughed at his reaction. Hunter was starstruck. His crush liked him back?!? And SMOOCHED him?!? Good thing he was in the hospital, cause he could pass out due to heart failure any second now!! “Lad? Lad? Lad, are ye okay? Did I overstep me boundaries?” The Conductor asked, worried at Hunter spacing out.

Hunter shook his head. “I’m fine, Conductor!” He said, knowing full well that he was indeed, not fine in the SLIGHTEST.

[inappropriatefangirlneeds]

Gotham s5ep5 “ Pena Dura” Personal Review

“Your chance to be a part of this mission”    Warning spoilers below

HARVEY BULLOCK Wow they really put him in the spotlight. First JIM GORDON´s praise. “What you are is the best cop that I know.” If Nygma outsmarts them he wants him to take over. “I need your help, buddy.”. Then he actually listens to Bullock when he doesn´t want to be side lined. Although, I suspect that if it would have been physically possible for Jim Gordon to arrest Oswald Cobblepot he would have done it himself.  Then Harvey gets a moment with BRUCE WAYNE. Bruce is looking for Jim and Harvey is like “Sorry, kid, it's just me.” But in this episode Harvey matters and they have a moment before Bruce batdissapears on him before he can finish his sentence. “I see people losing their will to do good. People I love. What if we don't make it out of this?”  “Because the little things mater. Act by act, deed by deed, it means something. Even if no one notices or cares.” Harvey talks about paperwork (and wow did he basically address my question from last week, he indeed did, partly  .. ) but it´s paperwork that matters and keeps you sane. BRUCE WAYNE / JIM GORDON  & HOPE Haven just blew up but it seems Bruce is much more occupied with SELINA KYLE´s case. Granted there is more personal investment and that issue of him feeling guilty because Jeremiah targeted her about him but it´s an interesting notion to have Bruce to struggle with hope over a more personal matter. While Jim Gordon had his “hope struggle” moments last week over Haven and missing support from the Government. Seems that Eduardo Dorrance might bring a more personal twist to it.  ACCESSORY TO MURDER Selina Kyle & Bruce Wayne Bruce Wayne compares Selina killing Jeremiah to him killing Ra´s al Ghul but Alfred Pennyworth begs to differ: Selina and Bruce are not the same. On is murder and one is not: “Jeremiah made Selina a murderer. Just like Ra's made me a murderer.” “Ra's goaded you into stabbing him, Master Bruce. He used you as an instrument. You're no murderer.”  I´m not here to judge on that but I judge a tremendous neglect in the writing here: Does anyone remember REGINALD REGGIE PAYNE, the guy that arguably threatened Selina and Bruce, the guy where Bruce made a move to push him out of the window and Selina actually did it, claimed not to do regret it and that she would do it again. This would be such a great argument for Alfred´s point. Moreover Alfred has a personal reason to remember the death of someone he had a personal relationship with. One would think, he might bring that up. It´s not like he was ever holding back on things when it came down to discrediting Selina Kyle. Granted they had their nice moments but it seems his first unfavourable impression and judgement still holds.  Alfred Pennyworth is the first one that brings up the instrumentation of a person for murder. Which comes up with various terms again and again: Instrument/ murderous puppet/ being controlled remotely / tool / killing machine. With EDUARDO DORRANCE I think we lack a specific work but his just following orders credo makes him basically a tool for killing as well.  Edward Nygma  tries to figure out why he blew up Haven. He himself his first station then the electricity grants him a flashback that leads him to Oswald Cobblepot (“How could you? You have made me into some murderous puppet.” ) which gets him on his path to Hugo Strange.  Both SELINA KYLE & Edward Nygma have an element of control. Despite Bruce´s repeated claims that Ivy´s medicine changed Selina and she is not herself it´s unclear if or how much this is true. Also Bruce knows he didn´t want to kill Ra´s however with Selina we´ve not that much insight (with the possibility of the plant altering her) and only the modus operandi to judge.  EVERYONE KNOWS EACH OTHER SO WELL * Bruce Wayne & Selina Kyle. “You're no murderer.” “But Selina is.” “You're not the same. She did what she did with open eyes, and you got to learn to respect that, son.” “You're wrong about her, Alfred.”  It´s about the murder, but it is about so much more: “It wasn't your fault. You were just a scared kid.”  The savvy Gothamite knows: Ah Bruce is talking about himself, that´s what he feels guilty about. Selina Kyle promptly picks up the notion. “No. You were the scared kid. We are not the same, Bruce. I didn't do anything because I wasn't willing to risk my neck for someone else because I didn't care. That's who I was and that's who I am.” (Goes on to say she loves "Psycho" by Grim Streaker) I´d say still sounds like case of scared kid, and if it´s just on the basis that they were kids. * Someone do a good paralells meta for 4x12 when Bruce was the one drinking at the Sirens and Selina went in being like “That´s not you”.   * Oh there would just be a lot of quotes that deal with responsibilities and No1 but I´m lazy * Jim Gordon knows himself, that´s why he sent Harvey Bullock to go after Penguin.  * Then we have Jim Gordon acknowledging that Edward Nymga had him framed and more than on his toes. “We're going after Nygma. He's ten steps ahead. This thing goes sideways, you're gonna have to take over.” He should have known him better though or he would have noticed that suspicious arm reaching for the book.  * Edward Nygma  while struggling with what his body does still has a remarkably good grasp on who he is. For him it is clear:  “You're not a murderer, Ed. Except Kristen Kringle. And Officer Dougherty.” Well not that kind of murderer. Good except that issue where is list is like a couple names short. This is repeated when he appeals to  JIM GORDON  “You know me, Jim. The people that I have hurt, they hurt me first.” [I wonder if Ed appealing to the emotional side of things is meant to echo Jim´s “what happened to you” approach in 2x17 ] With BARBARA KEAN Edward´s focus is less on the motive and emotional part it´s about intellect and modus operandi: “Barbara! Am I dumb? In all the years of plotting and the betrayals between us, have you ever ever known me to do something as idiotically brutal as shoot a rocket into a building full of innocent people?”   All of them eventually have to believe that Edward was innocent because they know him.  * Jim Gordon & Eduardo Dorrance  So we finally get some more on Jim “a war hero” Gordon´s military background, which is great but idk I can´t quite make anything of what they gave us. “We hated each other in boot.” “Jim disapproved of my ops tempo.” “Yeah, 'cause you only had one speed: too fast.” “Took me a while to realize he wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty. Just being careful.” “Well, Jim's taught me a thing or two - about being careful.”  That HARVEY BULLOCK says that could provide some great meta if I wasn´t too lazy to properly look into the line of his old partner DIX in  DIX 1x06:   “He's a loose cannon. He thinks he's a white knight, jumping into the breach like some idiot in the movies” First it´s trust and old friendship with EDUDARDO and JIM: “I trust you know what you're doing.” “We do what we have to do, right?” But soon Jim and Eduardo are opposite forces: “After all this, you'd kill me for some bureaucrat?” “Mission comes first. You taught me that.”  This really makes me wonder what Jim did that Eduardo says this!!  Also SEASON 1 Backflash: “You know I hate this spook crap. I don't ask questions; I follow orders.” “Walker wants you to put a bullet in his brain.” “Call it proof of loyalty. It's what she needs from you before she can move forward with final relief plans.” “Jim, ours is not to reason why. And this is your chance to be a part of this mission. So please. You pull the trigger on him, or I pull the trigger on you.” * It mirrors the Jim and Harvey contrast with Harvey being the one talking about questions above his paycheck but after everything Harvey still follows Jim´s disruptive tendencies. It´s about personal responsibility, control, and in Jim and Eduardo´s case we could get some take on the "Nuremberg defense" issue.   * It mirrors the situation with Oswald Cobblepot. Once more an established order tells Jim Gordon to shoot a man, that´s not technically innocent but didn´t commit the crime in question. And once more Jim doesn´t kill but this time he doesn´t get to claim his loyalties lie with the established order.  [For a moment Jim contemplated just shooting Ed because look at what happened with Oswald, he just can´t have another relationship like that] * I wonder if we will get some flack for Jim´s decision to honour integrity over supplies? Just briefly, before it is revealed how it was actually and not only morally the right thing.  FRIENDSHIP Oswald  & Jim  Oswald Cobblepot still tries to count on Jim Gordon.  “Harvey, you're not thinking clearly. Maybe call your boss, see what he thinks.” But Jim isn´t there because he made a decision to not be there.  Oswald´s line of having had only two friends from which one he shot is sad. And I don´t know but after all the “friend” and “favour” stuff between them the “no friends” statement from Jim really hurt: “You know, they say you can judge a man by his friends.” “This from a man who has no friends.”  But at least their dynamic still works, once you get them together and disturbing forces out of the way they still run smooth for the sake of Gotham  “You're protecting a mass murderer. Don't look to me for sympathy.” “Fine. But not with that meathead around.”  Edward Nygma & Oswald Cobblpeot * “Ed, what have you done?” First of all the delivery of the line killed me! Which is not even an exaggeration. * “Of everything that you have put me through, this this is the most cruel.” This was almost as impressive and heart wrenching. * Also I´m just going to put the words down there. How, how did they sound so much like vows?! Oswald just touching his lips, putting his hands in front of them covering his mouth before he can muster so speak further. Oswald later walking right up to Edward pressing the gun into his heart. Could anyone deal with this?!  (Also what is so fundamentally wrong with me that this kind of totally is what I want, like that´s what I´d ask for in any friend or relationship, and on the one hand it´s like just a very basic just knowing and acknowledging each other but also this trust that should be as basic but just really isn´t and oh idk that was just a really special scene.) “What was I supposed to do? Let you die? After Butch, you were my only friend.”  “You shot Butch!” “Which is why I needed you! Edward Nygma, if I wanted you to suffer, I would never do it in some backhanded way.” “If you and I are ever at odds again, you will know, without a doubt, that I am your enemy. I promise you that as a friend.” And then Edward followed up with a “yes I do” and his own vows.  “I might have killed you, Oswald. And if that day comes I swear to you I will stare you in the eye as I stab you in the heart.” * Then a BETRAYAL? And then right away Oswald tells Edward to stay where he is because he´s going to be save while telling his men to get Nygma. Why did you have to break up that wonderful moment so quickly? Self preservation is a wonderful thing but not on the expense of those feelz. Quick, someone meta/fanfic this “betrayal” into something more palatable. Something like, Oswald only said that because he knew Edward would know to disappear at once, they just know each other ~that~ well, okay that´s better, a super thin argument but I´m fine.    * Oswald in this context saying “They want him, not me.” (*)  is so wrong because no honey, you are a double now a TWOFER, as Eduardo phrased it. With one raid they´d get Ed and Os. They are inseparable now.  * This is why they now both looked into the barrel of Jim´s gun while Jim gets told to kill them for loyalty reasons. * This is also why they both had the exact same approach to Jim Gordon this time. Jim Gordon is NOT GOOD CHANCES: Edward: “Once words gets out that you're responsible for Haven, you'll have a target on your back.” “I'll take my chances.” Oswald: “Even if I were to let you go, sooner or later, the Army's gonna come for you. Things are changing in Gotham.” “I'll take my chances.”  * “But first, did you name your dog after me?” How didn´t we get a reaction to EDWARD NYGMA´s question. I get it the whole mass murderer question but I´d like an answer to that one too, especially since they threw in that other JoJo dog business. Honestly I was not living that electrocution scene. (And it´s not only about the fact that Sofia and her dentist made him look much prettier.) but the  “You anthropomorphizing nincompoop. Dogs can't smile.”  sold me on it. It was worth it. Also Edward pretending he doesn´t want to be shocked again when this is going to be his escape and getting them to ignite the fuel was a good one “Please. Shoot me, stab me, anything but another jolt.” * Another marvellous line from Barbara Kean: “I am going to cut your face into a jigsaw puzzle and watch you try and put it back together again.”   * HUGO STRANGE is back and promptly sends a corpse sliding and then wipes hands. Icky. So those lined up hanging body bags had me distracted so I didn´t pay enough attention on the one that Edward Nygma would jump out of. However I think this made me suspicious enough to not trust the “I will write it down. That way, if I'm ever confronted, I can honestly say that I never told you.” Like usually I´d agree, that´s a good plan, makes sense but ha not this time. Love that they kind of paralleled this with Edward reaching for the book in front of Jim and Eduardo. Is that even a proper parallel?  * EDWARD NYGMA tries to control the script  “Let's skip the part where you deny making me into a killing machine.” He wants to get to the point. When Strange starts with a nebulous “I may have tinkered a little with your grey matter.” Edward is like: “Would you just …”  and Strange complies with an answer: “I put a chip in your brain.” “It allows you to be able to be controlled remotely.”  * I am wondering if Hugo Strange really didn´t know about the alter ego situation? It could be right? Either his situation was the reason why the chip worked (which negates my other question below) or maybe this will be the thing that makes Edward overcome his issue? Maybe the other side will surface again and they both got a common enemy: The chip and they unify over that task. THEORY?  * Also the fandom has been all about all the Eds and Nygmas and used various name variations and now the show comments on this and it´s not helpful at all? “You did something to access the Ed Nygma side of my personality.” “But you're Ed Nygma.” “I'm also the Riddler!” Is he thinking of himself as (an occasionally riddling) Edward right now?  * “I developed a tool.”  “A tool? How dare you?”   Haha, he sounded SO offended. * Quick question, why did remote controlled Edward go through the corpse tunnel, was his perception working while he was switched off and did he see Jim escape through it?  PLACES AND THINGS * Can we talk about how pretty the first place of that RPG selling guy ( Gerry Grekov) was. So pretty! Guy got peacock feathers in it.  * What was that movie he was watching? * The floor is Lava! The Edward Jim scene was gorgeous.  * As we established Jim knows Edward he just doesn´t know him well enough to pay attention to that arm that grew longer and longer to reach the right book. Like seriously Jim how could you miss this, even I was on my toes dying to know what he would do. And he boobytrapped the library. Marvellous! The chess riddle with the movements and the books. Marvellous! More please. The shots were really pretty too.  * Apart from Edward´s arm growing longer and longer we got his long legged self running over the cushions. Marvellous!

JEREMIAH VALESKA “Verisimilitude trumps precaution, you see.” “That bullet is making you sentimental.” * So the present is some resurrection. How did they reverse all the decay. Is it the same bodies. Magic, Science.  Also am I paranoid or might there be some connection to Hugo Strange´s “The last body you procured for me was gangrenous. Completely unsuitable.” line. Unsuitable doesn´t mean unusable. * Jeremiah knew Mr. Wayne, didn´t he. I´m too lazy to look things up but there was a connection. Is he also doing this for himself. Family reunion cause he never had a (good) one?  * Sorry but EDUARDO DORRANCE is boring, get on the program Gotham doesn´t do boring. Clearly Eduardo Flamingo was the superior Eduardo. * “I'm gonna wring this nerd's neck.” Careful Eduardo, this other nerd is just in the progress of saving your life.  * “You left the Army for this city?” You know, I keep saying that people would probably better be off just getting the hell out of there but the reaction to this line showed me I´m as stupid. I mean not that it´s something new all the bathtubs alone had sold me. And army, army instead of riddles like that and freedom to wear leather, pink hair, how´s that even considered competition. * THERESA WALKER why did she need Edward Nygma? If they had a public trial, execution then yes but Eduardo didn´t seem to be concerned about getting him alive, they could have just sent in some random guy? They got all those military people in now I´m sure they could have done less before and it´s probably less effort than commissioning a human drone? * “We need shock and awe.” “Shock and awe is my default.” I wonder if this was foreshadowing because after all the Haven thing could fall under that strategy. They only sent in military after this devastating and shocking destruction. OSWALD COBBLEPOT BEING HIMSELF AGAIN? “Edward, I believe the time has come for a change of scenery.” What is Oswald Cobblepot up to?! What did he store down there, what are his plans? He didn´t seem to be too worried about the military. He must have some kind of plan? Also the “Please. An invasion is tanks, infantry. These are scouts.” line gives me hope that he is prepared.  (*) On the other hand him thinking the military would not go after him too, only Edward, while he was “on top of” the list seems to point into a different direction.  Also someone any (head)canons on Oswald Cobblepot and knowledge about military, has he been ever connected to military terms? He´s been in Jim Gordon´s soldier vision/dream thingie, I don´t know why this line stuck so much with me, but the dismissive patronizing smug deliver was marvellous.

[rock-hopperhazuki]

Yeh Imma post this before I sleep

You know what? I’m up late, feeling like ranting about something so Imma do it. I just feel like getting this off my chest, laying it all out, and in turn give yall a glimpse into my current situation and why I’m just not doing well lately. If you don’t wanna read it, I’ll put it below, cause it is a LOT. This is my longest post yet and I go into a bit of detail about me and my bf and our experience at our job cause that’s what started all this. READER BE PREPARED! (I also wrote this in the last hour or so and don’t know if there are many mistakes, probably gonna go over it to see, but meh):

Alright, let’s go back to the VERY beginning.

Jan. 24, 2017 was my first day at my first job. I’m a janitor at one of the courthouses in town. That was also the day I became acquainted with one of the only other young employees there: Robert. 

We quickly became friends and even tho we only get to see each other during our 45 minute lunch break and when we clock out for the night, it only took like two weeks for us to go on our first date, kiss, and start going out. (my first intimate relationship ever, mind you) And it also only took another two weeks for us to get in trouble. And that trouble was getting caught making out and heavy petting in the elevator (which we were doing for about 30-45 minutes apparently) by one of our supervisors after lunch. 

Also, up until this point only about 2 other employees that we were cool with knew we were together, it came as a shock to our superiors. So we get called down to the office and interrogated separately. Both explaining the situation the best we could. Granted this wasn’t planned or anything, it just happened and we lost track of time. We get reprimanded and told that the manager would discuss this with us the next day when he came in. So I’m freaking out thinking we’re gonna get fired, and only after I’d been there for only about a month.

But, when we speak with the manager the next day he basically said: “We don’t care that you guys are going out, so long as you don’t get married while you’re both working here and you’re not ‘stealing time’ being all affectionate”

Stealing Time is basically not working while you’re on the clock, they consider that stealing cause you’re getting paid to clean and you’re not doing that, and still collecting a check. 

I’m super relieved and glad we can be together and that we didn’t get fired. Most places don’t allow couples to work in the same place, so I’ve heard. Afterwards we become a bit more open with our relationship. Everyone now knows we’re together and we get teased a little and called cute by our, mostly older, co-workers. And everything is pretty cool...until we get into more trouble down the line.

Me and Robert get back from lunch a few minutes late once or twice (not because of elevator shenanigans tho, we went out to eat and came back late). We get a warning and afterwards our supervisors give us strange looks and come to our floors more often to check on us. Which doesn’t do wonders for my anxiety and paranoia btw.

Robert had his own run-in with trouble down the line as well. There was a new girl who worked on the floor above his, but the hose in her janitor’s closet didn’t work or something like that so she was allowed to go to his floor and use the hose in his closet to fill her bucket for mopping and other bottles. We were cool with her, so when she came to his floor everyday, they would talk a little before she left.

She also didn’t like our superiors very much, and one day one of them came to Robert’s floor while they were talking in the closet. In turn, she SLAMS the closet door shut while they’re still inside so he won’t ‘be listening on our conversation’ or whatever. But the slammed door brings him right over and he opens the door. AND FOR SOME REASON, she tries to hide behind the door so he won’t see her. Of course he does and the situation looks bad. Robert tries to play it off, but HE gets in trouble regardless because, get this: they think they were basically doing what we previously did in the elevator (stealing time, getting frisky, whatever). But also get this: they don’t call HER to the office, just him. And he gets a strike against him. He tried to explain what happened and defend himself, but they just don’t listen or even let him speak for himself.

That kinda puts a damper on our relationship with her. And tensions grow between us and the higher-ups. We start having lunch away from the other workers while in the cafeteria, and more time outside as well. 

Another incident happened during Chore Time.

Chore Time at my job is about 30-45 minutes before we clock out. During the day we do our designated areas and floors. But at Chore Time, we come down to the office and get assigned one last mundane job to do before we go. That night, I was to do the exit door glass on the first floor. So I took the paper towels and nearly empty Windex bottle they gave me and did my chore. I finished up pretty early and decided to go back to my floor to refill the bottle and wait a little bit before going back to the office to clock out.

When I got to my floor I saw Robert. He was doing the glass panes going down the hall as his chore. I decided to stop on my way to the janitor's closet on my floor to talk to him. It’s still kinda early, I thought. I have some time. And wouldn’t ya know it? One of our supervisors comes to my floor at that time. We get reprimanded for just talking and I tell him I didn’t intend on just standing around talking until it was time to go. I was gonna go fill the Windex bottle and stopped to talk for a little bit. I didn’t know if he believed me, but I went on my way, filled the bottle up, and made my way to the office to clock out with everyone else.

I thought that was the end of it, but the next day we’re called back down to the office cause the supervisor that caught us the night before called the manager. We are told once again that we aren’t to be ‘stealing time’. The supervisor interjects and says that Robert was still working while I was talking to him (technically not ‘stealing time’) and that I was the one standing there, not where I’m supposed to be (even tho that was my floor). He says that I lied about going to fill the Windex bottle cause I wasn’t anywhere near my closet. Even tho I was already on my way there when I stopped to talk to Robert. I didn’t even know he was up there. I tried to explain this to the manager, but he didn’t want to hear what I had to say (just like how they didn’t want to listen to what Robert had to say before) and sent me home early.

Now, I’m upset, but inside I’m kinda like “Whatever man” and I just peace out and call my ride. Robert is way more angry that they sent me home and I text him to calm him down, I’ll be back tomorrow. When I do, I ‘apologize’ for ‘lying’ to my supervisor and promise not to ‘steal time’ with Robert again and got right back to work.

Things are tense, but for a while there aren’t anymore incidents. My anxiety and paranoia go down while I’m working and I feel better knowing that if anything’s wrong or bugging me that I have Robert and during lunch we talk a lot. We are still affectionate with each other, but only during that 45 minute lunch we have. The only time we have to ourselves. No rendezvous in the elevator’s after lunch, no stealing time to make out. None of it. Only during lunch. 

Until our manager eventually tells us that we shouldn’t be affectionate inside the building since state workers may see us and disapprove, even when we’re in the cafeteria, on the lowest floor, during our lunch when most of the state workers are gone or on the upper floors in their offices staying late. We are upset, but decide to try to have lunch outside every day. Even when the weather gets cold, we stay out in the courtyard and eat. And for a while that’s fine.

Until later down the line, we get told that we can’t be affectionate out there either, since state workers leaving late could still see us when they leave and we need to ‘uphold the company image’. Even tho they are never that close to us and they don’t even give us a second glance. It’s not like we’re constantly lip-locked or anything. They never seemed to have a problem with any of this before.

So now, we’re both mad. They seem to be constantly tightening the reins on us. If you go back you’ll see that they said they didn’t care what we did so long as we’re not ‘stealing time’ or get married while still working here. We were told at the beginning that we could be a couple in this place and they keep trying to put a stop to what we do when we’re together.

They also pulled some other stuff. The other court building was down a person and needed a replacement for 6 weeks. Other than the handful of new people with no real defined job yet, they asked me first if I would take the position, saying I could say yes or no. At first I said yes, but once I really thought about it, I declined cause I didn’t want to be gone from Robert that long. Also the hours are shifted slightly and with the way my ride to work is set up, it wouldn’t have worked.

The next person they went to was, of course, Robert, but this time they didn’t give him the option to say no. They just gave him the position. Trying to split us up. Now, he wasn’t completely transferred over there, just filling in. And since their hours over there are different than ours, how it worked would be:

He goes into work at our courthouse at the usual time and does his usual work

When the time comes, he makes his way down the street to the other court building and does his duties there

When it comes time for them to clock out, he goes back down the street to our courthouse and finishes up his usual work and clocks out with the rest of us like he always does

Which meant I only saw him for the final 15 minutes of our usually 45 min lunch and when we clocked out at the end of the night. For 6 weeks. I was frustrated that they did this, but we made our time together count until he finally came back to work fully at the courthouse again. We were glad to be back on our regular schedule. And even more affectionate.

We just disregard their rules while they’re not around. But it turns out our good fortune ran out. We were apparently caught on camera kissing and one of the security guards told our supervisors (which is CRAZY cause we’ve been together this long and there are obviously cameras in the courthouse but they never saw fit to tell anybody about us if they saw something, UNTIL NOW APPARENTLY. JUST OUR LUCK). 

So last Wednesday, I was called into the office where our manager and the cleaning manager of the court building down the street were sitting there with our HR rep on the phone. And basically it was explained to me that after all that’s happened, in order to uphold the company image and keep both me and Robert as employees, I’d be transferred to the other building starting the next day.

I have no idea what they told Robert once he was called in, but at lunch we sat across from each other on a bench outside. Not touching, not looking at each other for a bit. When he finally spoke and asked me if I was alright, I broke down and cried. Went into full panic attack mode. My head hurt, I had trouble taking a breath, I felt sick, sad, angry, scared. So many things went thru my head. 

I wanted to quit right then and there. Just say F*CK IT. But I couldn’t. At least not right now. My family depends on me now to help pay for things around the house. And I’m trying to go on a trip with friends of mine in October. I need the money. But I didn’t want to go over there. I didn’t want to go over there when they asked me and now they were forcing me to go. I’d just gotten Robert back from that place and he didn’t have much good to say about it either.

But even during my breakdown, Robert was comforting and level-headed. He promised me that things would be ok and that this was a sure sign that we needed to move on from this place and find better jobs, make a better life for ourselves, and strive for greater things than this place. He said all the right things, but I still felt hollow. I still kinda feel that way and it’s almost been a week since it happened. 

I don’t like it very much over there. I don’t get to see Robert during the week. We talk on the phone tho. We’ve both been looking for new jobs and have applied to a few places. No luck yet and I’m feeling very discouraged about all this.

He tells me not to worry, good things come to those who wait, our breakthrough is close, all that. But rn, it doesn’t feel like that. I just feel...bummed and defeated. I’ll keep going, I’ll keep looking, I just feel like the enemy won this round. And it really SUCKS. I never really liked this place, but I never imagined it’d get to this point. 

Imma keep searching and praying that things work out for the both of us. I gotta be strong and stay positive, it’s just not easy. Annnnnnnnd that’s where we’re at right now, I guess.

[norafike]

Despite all this, I still love you 4

I will be creating a masterlist soon-ish. Just to keep all of this organised.

"So he returns!" Nora cheered as she spotted the all too familiar face enter the Saloon. He turned towards her, excitement already plain to see.

Sean MacGuire pulled the chair out opposite, inviting himself to sit at the table with her. "Nice seein' you again, Miss Morgan." He greeted.

"Guess it's nice seein' you too, also nice seein' that you found your "funny lookin' friends" again."

He let out a guffaw at the passing comment, giving her a toothy grin thereafter. "What are you doin' this far from Blackwater anyway? Thought you lived over that way."

"No... no. I used too, but after Sisika I tried avoiding that place."

"That's right, I remember now."

Nora gave a slight nod, taking a moment to gaze beyond the window at the street. While not much, it was the closest she could call home and it done its job well.

"So; what are you doing here anyway?" She asked, trying to sound polite and start a conversation even though her wording came across rather bluntly.

"A friend of mine, Arthur, he had business here and dragged me along for it." He explained.

"I know Arthur. Met him an' a few other fellas the other day, they was with an O'Driscoll."

"What business could they possibly have with an O'Driscoll?" He laughed as if she had told him a joke. Nora only shrugged, leaning forward and placing her arms flat against the table.

"I thought you would know about him by now, nervous little fella it seems; black hair an' unshaven. Smells of horse shit?"

"You on about that Kieran?"

"I don't know his name."

The explanation seemed too good to be a flat out lie and he saw no reason as to why Nora would claim for a member of his gang to be an O'Driscoll without legitimate cause too. He furrowed his brow in thought and noticed how everyone had taken to be impolite towards him and how he was usually alone on most occasions, but he figured him to be shy.

When Arthur entered the building he was quickly hollered over by the Irishman, his voice now a little serious instead of that cheerful tone.

"I been looking for you all over, Sean, shoulda known I'd find you in a Saloon of all places." Arthur spoke in a hushed town as he walked over, ignoring the female as she sat not so far away from them.

Awkwardly, she remained by and listened to their conversation it wasn't as though she was being rude by eavesdropping it was more so the case that they hadn't asked for her to leave or had taken the opportunity to move themselves. She wasn't even sure if they knew she was still sat there.

She cleared her throat which earned their attention after the petty squabble about Sean's wandering off and immediately guilt flashed across Arthur's face before replaced by that same cold glare he usually wore. "Sorry, Nora. Hadn't seen you there."

"It's fine."

Then Sean was reminded of their earlier conversation. "So apparently that Kieran's an O'Driscoll."

Arthur's face sank at the mention and everyone in the saloon all silenced at the loud accusation Sean sent out. Nora felt uncomfortable at the glares given her way and she felt more guilty now with the look Arthur sent her at the mention, after all, how else could Sean have known?

Knowing that they were being watched, Arthur snapped back by gently tapping the Irishman over the back of his head, following this by speaking, "He ain't."

This pleased the patrons in Smithfield's Saloon enough for the trio to leave the building without too many suspicious glances.

Once they were outside they were all taken to near Chadwick farm, not too close to the building in the case that somebody would be able to hear them from the inside. "Couldn't of been any louder, could you Sean." Arthur scolded, his face clearly showing his annoyance at the small scene caused.

"So when were you going to tell me we took on an O'Driscoll then?" He snapped back, his arm raised and hand pointing roughly in the direction of Horseshoe Overlook.

Nora stood by, visibly uncomfortable with the situation she found herself in.

"I didn't mean to tell him, I thought he knew." She was quiet and Arthur almost didn't catch what she had said. Luckily, he picked up on her words and turned towards the smaller girl with a sympathetic look.

"Mistakes happen, ain't your fault."

She let in a quiet sniffle, nodding her head slowly before finally allowing out a deep breath from relief. Sean chuckled, amused by this.

"So little Kieran Duffy's an O'Driscoll then aye? Now that I think about it, I see it."

"How so?" Nora asked.

"You've seen him, nervy. Ain't nobody going to be so nervy with a group unless they knew jus' how much they were hated. Ya know, the others don't seem to take too fondly to him neither."

Arthur cut in quickly. "They don't take too fondly to Micah neither."

The Irishman let out a hearty laugh, patting the brawny male on the shoulder. But Arthur kept his face as dull as stone, not letting even the most subtle of smiles crack, he raised a figure and sharply poked Sean in the chest with it. "But don't you go an' give the O'Driscoll any trouble, at least not too much." He warned.

He raised his hands defensively and talk a large step back from Arthur. "Oh 'course I ain't going to do that. I ain't gonna do nothin', got my word on that Arthur Morgan."

Satisfied, Arthur turned towards Nora with previous intentions of leaving her to get back to her own, having enjoyed his outing enough but had instead taken to change his mind. He looked down at her gun belt, the revolver in its holster.

He gave her a grin and finally broke that awkward silence amongst them to finally ask her a question.

"Say, how well can you use a gun?"

...

"So you needed me to help you break a friend out of jail? You don't exactly strike me as the sort to need help, Mister Morgan."

"He ain't no friend."

"And so you're breakin' him out?" Maybe Arthur does things differently than what she has done in the past, knowing how she willingly left people in jail simply because she had a distasteful relationship with them.

Her questions regarding this seemed to annoy Arthur more and he audibly grew frustrated with answering so many questions sent his way. He compared it the curiosity similar to that of young Jack Marston's who could not be blamed given it was usual for children to have a tendency to ask a lot of questions.

It was Nora, a fully grown adult at twenty-four having many questions that irked him.

"Micah's a crazy individual, it'd be no harm in having an extra gun just in case."

No longer did she want to play into his irritation and instead she became slightly fearful of what may happen if she were to help with this jailbreak. She pulled back on the reins to stop Casper from following any further and soon Arthur had copied to see what she was playing at now.

"What is it?"

She shook her head quickly, silently refusing to go along with the task.

"I-." She tried but her words began to fail her and soon tears began to lightly fall down her cheeks, causing runs in the makeup she wore.

"I don't think I can." She managed. "You saw what happened to me back at Six-point Cabin, I don't want that to happen here with somethin' important. I don't have-." Before she could say she caught herself, refusing to speak any further over the topic.

At this Arthur raised an eyebrow but knew all too well the refusal to talk further. "You'll be fine."

"I was told that last year. Seems to be gettin' worse."

"An' that friend of yours, what was his name? Lenny, Len, L-."

"Lem."

"Lem, he knows how to calm you when you get all hysterical?"

She wouldn't have worded it like that but it was the truth, harsh at that but honest spoken.

Slowly she nodded to answer, hanging her head in shame at the realisation that perhaps she depended on Lem more so than she knew previously and more tears began to fall.

"We all have our people we rely on, he's your friend an' I bet the only one who really knows about all this."

"Suppose so. Ain't really thought much on it."

"You need a bit to calm yourself? I'm sure you'll be okay in Strawberry if thing's do get out of hand and if not- I'll buy you a drink afterwards."

"Guess you have a deal, Mister Morgan." For a brief moment she managed to crack him a smile which he reciprocated before spurring for her horse to follow along on the road.

"I'll tell you a little about Micah just so you know what we're dealin' with."

She nodded. "Please do. Ain't as though he's well-liked."

They shared a chuckle, with Arthur nodding with his agreement. "No, he isn't."

...

She looked over the hook once more, making sure it was in fact secured properly to the bars of the window.

She backed away a few paces before raising her thumb towards Arthur, watching as he pulled the lever on the steam donkey to rip the wall clean off.

Eventually, Micah emerged from within and the group had to work quickly so this rescue wouldn't result in any of them dying. Nora provided cover fire while Arthur quickly handed over a spare revolver to Micah so he wasn't running unarmed.

"We gotta go this way, I have some unfinished business." Micah commented, leading the group across the bridge.

Arthur let out a cry of disapproval but it had been drowned out by the sound of shooting.

Nora was unsure of what was happening but the associate Arthur had to break out of jail decided he was to enter a house over a couple of guns that he needed to pick up.

She asked no questions at the obvious murder that happened before her eyes, having been briefly told that this man was 'crazy' in many's opinions.

The lawmen tripled in numbers and they were quickly overwhelmed and yet they kept on, succeeding in the fight with very little wounds.

They left the town soon after, while the fight did become harder it did not mean they gave in so easily and in no time they were free of the law and in the clear.

After this Arthur had turned towards Micah to discipline him over the act he pulled in Strawberry, the killing of innocents over a pair of guns that went unneeded.

Micah quickly turned towards the female as she idly stood by, watching the scene of their bickering unfold before her. "And who is this then?" His question sounded bitter as if displeased with her presence there.

"A friend." Arthur grumbled, taking out a cigarette from his satchel which he passed over to the female. She took it with thanks, turning back towards his friend. She placed the cigarette between her lips, before extending her hand towards Micah Bell, "Nora Morgan." He scrunched up his face in disgust, ignoring the handshake on offer and instead turning towards Arthur.

"You tell the boss I'll be returning to camp later, for now I gotta find a way to make up for this."

Nora rolled her eyes at the sly tone in his voice, she turned away just as she lit the cigarette and leaving them to talk amongst themselves while she focused on the

She was all too familiar with the sexism that radiated off of Micah Bell, having often dealt with such treatment during her time in Sisika with the guards that littered the place and just as she used to do during her time behind bars she chose to ignore such treatment, it wouldn't be any better for her if she acted out against it.

At least she wasn't treated the same why by Arthur or any of the men she travelled with, her own brothers always thought of her as more an equal rather than anything less and Cripps approached her with respect. That was one thing she never got used too and would often scold Cripps over, telling him she was just as he was and to not treat her as anything more.

While she had been lost in her thoughts, Micah had since departed unbeknownst to her. It was then did Arthur feel awkward in grabbing her attention as he wasn't so sure how to go about it. He settled for clearing his throat which she hadn't picked up at first, only was it the third time in his doing did she finally face him.

She quickly apologised.

"You did good, told you everythin' would be okay."

"You said I would be okay, not everything."

"Well.." Mister Morgan gave a light chuckle, throwing away the remnants of his cigarette with Nora soon following thereafter.

"You were right about Micah, his company is insufferable and what was the deal with that couple in Strawberry?"

"Even I don't know, jus' Micah being Micah I suppose."

"That sounds like a common thing."

Arthur shrugged, kicking his leg up to rest against one of the boulders nearby. "It might be."

She followed him with her eyes, noticing how where they stood had given them a clear view of flat-iron lake, a location Nora used to fish at often with her brothers.

"How is Mrs. Adler?"

"She's as good as losing your husband goes, but that ain't stopped her so much, does more work around camp than some of the men."

"She was always a tough one, Sadie."

"Still is, I s'pose."

"Did you give the brooch to her?"

He didn't answer verbally at first, instead passing over a small stack of money. "She asked that I give this to you."

Nora looked at the cash in hand before shaking her head in refusal, even if she wanted to she felt guilty taking it.

"Please keep it, or give it back to her."

"Alright."

She looked back over at Flat-iron lake with a fond smile, keeping her gaze away from Mr. Morgan as she studied the waters from the great distance. "You keep Sadie safe, I'll see you around, Arthur."

...

"Look who's back." Maggie cheered just as Nora entered the building. She looked on fondly, raising her cane in the air and foolishly waving it about.

Lem had eventually reached forward to lower the weapon down, making sure to keep it pointed at the ground save for anywhere else as it's waving would creep dangerously close to Nora.

"What have you been up to?" He asked, being polite and making conversation with Nora.

"Got roped into a jailbreak." He looked shocked by her answer but figured it to not be out of the usual for her. "How'd you get on?" This question wasn't about the success or failure of the mission, it was more directed at how Nora was able to handle the situation. He just needed to know if she had cried or if she became frantic during their heist.

He was surprised at the bright smile on her face as she answered him, "I was okay. It went well."

He reciprocated her look of joy, reaching forward to place his hand on top of her very own. "That's good to hear."

She was ready to reply before Maggie cleared her throat to grasp their attention, this unpleasant scowl on her face after witnessing such an interaction. Awkwardly, Lem retracted his hand to hide below the table while Nora placed hers on top of her own.

"Unfortunately for you however, we do need someone to retrieve some ingredients for our business and I trust that you both can do it." She instructed, her voice holding that same level of authority they had grown used to.

Upon the news of ingredients Lem's face as paled however as he recalled the event of their last attempt at bringing in a shipment of good for Maggie and slowly he turned to face Nora who too, looked worried.

She picked up on their worried expressions and let out an exaggerated sigh at this. "It ain't like the boat, you'll be pickin' up a wagon from near Rhodes."

Nora nodded as she replied to her business partner. "That's not too bad then."

"No, 'course not."

...

As the bullets flew by she let out a string of curses under her breath, looking up to see Lem more exposed than she was.

She hissed at the burning sensation in her shoulder, looking down to notice the unfortunate crimson colour beginning to stain the material of her shirt.

She pushed on, not letting the wound distract her from the priority she had; protecting Lem.

"Keep him safe" kept repeating in her mind, the warning given sternly by Maggie. It was what the women told her the day she was tasked with preventing Lem's transfer to Sisika. Then she was able to do so and Lem was returned home that night, not a scratch on him but here, right now, she worried she would fail by Maggie and fail to keep her nephew safe.

But the bullets became worse and now their boat became grounded, the worrying set in again and as the revenue men ran for them, while slowed by the swampy waters it was still terrifying for her and Lem's desperate cry for the boat to become unstuck didn't help matters.

She looked up at Lem, who fell backwards at the sudden push of the boat moving forwards.

"Let's get the hell outta here!" He cried out in celebration upon their vessel begging to move. The pain in her shoulder became noticeable now and it grew hard to ignore.

[whydontwe-fanfics]

Unexpected pt.2 (J.M)

Description: The boys and Jonah go through deep regret while you go through heartbreak.

Part 1 Part 3

(Heads up! Everything in italics are memories)

Word Count: 3.3k

---

Jonah didn't remember when or why it started. If he took a reasonable guess, he'd say that his little fling with Maya started about a month before you found out. He met her at a music store and shamefully thought that she was beautiful. Maya didn't know Jonah was with anyone, so she didn't see why starting something would be so terrible.

When Jonah first invited her over to the house, the boys were all very confused. He was in a relationship with their best friend, so why would he bring another girl over? Jonah could still remember Daniel and Corbyn pulling him into a separate room to drown him in questions, both of their voices laced with disappointment and anger.

"She's just a friend," Jonah shrugged.

"Does Y/N know about this friend?" Jack asked as he and Zach entered the room, both of their eyebrows risen with skepticism.

"No. She doesn't need to know all of my friends," Jonah said. "I just brought Maya here to hang out."

"This is messed up," Corbyn scoffed, walking out of the room.

"I swear to God if you cheat on Y/N-" Daniel starts.

"Relax. I'd never do that to Y/N," Jonah shook his head.

"You know if Y/N knew, she wouldn't-"

"She won't know," Jonah deadpanned. "She doesn't need to. And you guys don't need to mention it."

"So we'll be lying to our best friend?" Jack rolled his eyes.

"It's not lying if you just don't bring it up."

"It's lying," Zach said.

"No, it's not," Jonah argued.

"You know if Y/N finds out, she'll be pissed that we were all keeping this from her," Daniel added.

"Not just that, but if you and this Maya chick aren't doing anything, it'll look even more suspicious to Y/N if she does find out," Zach crossed his arms.

"This is ridiculous, Y/N needs to know so she doesn't get the wrong idea," Jack scoffed.

"Dude," Jonah warns.

"She's my best friend, Jonah," Jack frowned.

"And you're my best friend, too," Jonah countered, making Jack feel conflicted.

"Jonah, this isn't right," Zach reasoned.

"You guys are making it a bigger deal than it is," Jonah stated.

"And you'll be making this all go downhill when you 'accidentally' kiss Maya," Daniel furrowed his eyebrows.

"I would never do that to Y/N," Jonah started to grow annoyed.

"Then what's the problem with-"

"Guys. Just chill the fuck out. Maya is just a friend. Y/N is my girlfriend. That's all there is to it."

And that was the last of the conversation that day. Jonah eventually took Maya up to his room and left the four other boys shaking their heads with disapproval towards the entire situation.

Ever since that day, whenever you were busy and not at the boys' house, Maya was there. She thought she'd at least be somewhat good friends with the boys by now but every time they were in the same room they all wouldn't even spare a glance at her. They always grew uncomfortable looks when she walked through the front door and whenever she'd try to be respectful and say hi, they'd give her curt nods before going back to doing what they were doing.

To the boys' knowledge, Maya and Jonah were just 'friends'. What they didn't know was that the two had shared multiple make-out sessions on his bed.

If they had known, there'd be no doubt that they'd tell you. But you didn't know that.

That day, after you ran out with tears running down your face, they had come to the conclusion that Jonah had in fact cheated on you. And to you, it looked like they knew about it, too.

It's been two weeks since the last time the boys have seen you. Two weeks since they've heard from you. Two weeks full of endless mental torture, guiltiness, and regret.

"You alright?" Jack's low voice asked as he leaned against the wall of the hallway. Jonah stood in front of the mirror in one of the bathrooms of the house, the door wide open.

"I think we all know the answer to that," Jonah muttered before flicking the light off and exiting the restroom. "I'm pretty sure she's blocked me on every single thing known to man and iPhones."

"Reasonably," Daniel inputted as he walked out of his room. Jonah let out a sigh as he ran a hand down his face.

"I went to her house with Corbyn and Jack yesterday, but Mark was there and I'm a hundred percent sure he despises me," Jonah told Daniel.

"Reasonably," Daniel added, repeating himself. "You cheated on his fucking little sister because you're a horny bastard. If I'm gonna be honest, I think you should just stop trying."

"Yeah, when hell cools down," Jonah scoffs.

"Jonah, you cheated on her. You didn't just forget her birthday or get into a small argument about God knows what. You went and got together with an entirely different woman while you were supposedly devoted to Y/N and Y/N only. She was your girlfriend that trusted you enough to not even bother suggesting to herself that you might go and hook up with someone else while she was away. You're my best friend, and you asked us not to tell her, but that was our mistake. And now we all have no choice but to deal with it," Daniel explains, his arms crossed. Jonah didn't want to listen anymore but he knew Daniel was right. They all knew what they did was wrong and now they'd have to pay for it, in which losing a very important person in their lives was the cost.

"I just," Jonah choked. "I just miss her. So fucking much," he muttered, running a hand down his face and rubbing at his chin.

"We all do," Jack sighed. "She won't answer any of our calls, either."

"Yeah, because she thought we knew about Jonah swapping saliva with Maya," Daniel ran a hand through his hair, still not over the fact that Jonah lied every time they had asked him if he had done anything with Maya.

"All I want is to see her. Just see that she's alright," Jonah elaborated.

Jack opened his mouth to say something when they hear Corbyn call for them downstairs.

"Let's go, already! I'm hungry!" Corbyn shouted and they all remembered that they were all supposed to be getting ready for some sushi restaurant they were going to.

'You loved sushi', Jonah thought solemnly as the boys head downstairs and out of the house.

The entire ride to the restaurant, Jonah sat up front in the passenger seat while staring down at his Instagram page, wincing every time he saw you in a picture with either him or the boys, the smile he loved imprinted on your face.

"You're driving back," Daniel slapped Jonah's chest with the back of his hand as everyone climbed out. Jonah felt a shiver run down his spine as his eyes landed on the restaurant he'd taken you to dozens of times before.

Jonah hopped out of the car as you all headed to the sushi place, heading to the table that already had their friend, Eben, sitting at it.

Though the second Jonah sat down in the booth beside Jack, his eyes lifted up and scanned the restaurant. He almost choked when his eyes landed on you.

You sat across the large room, your eyes drifted downwards as you poke at your sushi roll. Your hair he had twirled around his fingers hundreds of times was up in a ponytail, hairs falling in your face.

Your face was stoic as you kept your eyebrows furrowed, looking as though you were in deep thought, and Jonah had a pretty good idea of what was occupying your mind.

Jonah's eyes narrowed slightly when he saw a male figure slide into the seat across from you, resulting in you picking up your head.

You looked up when you saw Derek take a seat in front of you, his voyage to the bathroom over.

Derek was a friend you had made not too long ago. You had met him on the plane back to Florida and was ecstatic when you found out he was moving in with his mom a few blocks away. You two quickly enough became close, but as for now the relationship between you two was strictly platonic.

"You still haven't touched your food," Derek frowned, crossing his arms on the table and leaning forward.

"I think I'm a bit too queasy for sushi right now," you poked and prodded at the raw fish.

"I thought you loved sushi. That's the reason I suggested we come here," Derek frowned.

"I do love sushi. A lot. I'm just not in the mood," you tell him honestly and he nods understandably.

"It's alright. We could head back to your place and eat couch stuffings," he grinned, bringing up an inside joke that was too complicated to explain. A small smile spread on your face as you shook your head and stayed staring at the food before you.

"I'm down," you shrug.

"Alright. I'll ask for some boxes to pack this up. We both know tomorrow when you're hungry you'll swallow it whole."

"You're right," you sigh, resting your jaw in the palm of your hand as your elbow perches itself on the table.

"I'll be back," Derek rose to his feet but paused before leaving. "Chin up. You can't let that asshat take over your life. When I come back I wanna see a smile on that face," he flicks your chin up with his index finger, raising a single eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah," you mumble, letting a sigh fall from your lips. Derek sadly smiles before walking away to the front desk.

Jonah felt his jaw clench at the sight of you with this guy, and he knew he was in the wrong because it was all his fault that the relationship ended in the first place.

"What are you looking a-" Corbyn cuts himself off when he looks in Jonah's line of vision. "Oh shit."

"What?" Daniel joins in and is also gobsmacked when he sees what the fuss is about.

"Is that-?" Jack narrows his eyes for a second before they grow wide.

"I'm gonna go talk to her," Jonah catches everybody off guard.

"What? No! Don't do that! Did you not hear a word I said earlier?" Daniel asked.

"Daniel's right, it'd be best if we just leave her alone," Jack interjected, his eyes not leaving your distant figure as you stare at your food, a dazed look on your features.

"I don't care, I want to talk to her," Jonah begins to get up but freezes when he sees someone walk through the doors of the sushi place.

"Well this is fucking great," Jack says monotonously.

"Hold up- is that-? Is that Maya?" Corbyn nearly chokes.

"What is she doing here?" Jack asks.

"I'm guessing to eat some sushi," Zach mumbles and Daniel nods with flattened lips.

"If so, then why is she walking straight towards Y/N?" Jack begins to panic.

"Thanks for bringing us into your bullshit, man," Corbyn pats Jonah on the back.

They all got quiet when Maya went to stand right in front of you, her hands by her side. You hadn't realized she had approached you until she quietly cleared her throat.

Your eyes shot upwards to her face and your back stiffened when you recognized her features oh so clearly. It was as if your tongue got caught in your throat and you wanted to puke it out.

"Hi, I'm Maya," the girl introduces herself. You didn't say anything back, being that you were as sure as daylight that she knew who you were. She had been the one you caught on top of your ex-boyfriend. "We saw each other the other day, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm so very sorry. Jonah hadn't told me he had a girlfriend already and if he did I would have never even thought of acting so intimately with him - I'm not that kind of girl- at least I never wanted to become that girl. What he did was wrong and I feel like shit for unknowingly doing that to someone else because if I was in your shoes, I'd castrate that dick-head for cheating on such a beautiful girl like you." She took in a deep breath when she was done talking.

You didn't know how to respond. Too many thoughts were floating around in your mind.

She's definitely prettier than me. Is that why Jonah cheated. Had he really not told Maya about you? Was he looking forward to just starting an entirely new relationship while still in one with you? You really should've castrated him.

"I-I don't know what to say," you mutter. "Thanks. For apologizing even though it isn't your fault. It's just... I never would've thought Jonah would do something like that," you say more-so to yourself. Had you really known Jonah?

"I didn't know I'd run into you here, but when I saw you I knew I had to clear things up with you."

"That means a lot to me, thank you," you once again thank her. She gives you a sympathetic smile before nodding and heading to go sit with her friends.

Throughout the entire conversation, your eyebrows stayed scrunched together. When Maya walked away, you felt sick to your stomach.

Derek walked back just in time to see your face turn practically green.

"Y/N, you look like your about to throw up," he frowned, quickly putting her food in one of the boxes.

"I really don't feel good," you mutter, taking deep breaths through your nose.

"Okay. Okay, we're gonna get you home so you can lay down, alright?" He quickly placed the boxes in the bags.

"Mhm," you hummed halfheartedly. You slid your phone into your back pocket before slowly standing up. Before Jonah and the boys knew it, you two were heading out.

"What did Maya say?" Daniel mumbled to himself, him and the rest of the boys all out of hearing distance.

"Doesn't matter; Y/N!" Jonah stood from where he sat and called your name right before you officially walked out that door.

"What the fuck are you-" Jack tried to get him to sit back down, but they all knew they couldn't stop Jonah.

You froze in your steps as Derek held the door open for you. Was that-?

A part of you didn't want to turn around, but the other part wanted to put a face to a name. Deep down you knew who had called your name. You just wanted the confirmation.

Slowly looking back to where you heard your name being called, your eyes quickly scanned the room before you saw Jonah standing beside a table with the rest of the boys.

Your eyes widened twice as large and you felt panic subside in you.

"Who's he?" Derek questions, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Someone I would rather never see again, let's go," you rush out of your mouth before walking out of the restaurant with Derek hot on your trails. You tried to put more of a pep in your step, heading to Derek's car.

"Y/N, wait!"

By now, you knew he was following you and the only thought running through your mind was how slow Derek was being.

"Derek, unlock your car," you hustle.

"Who is this dude? You want me to handle it?"

"No, no, it's fine-" you were cut off when you felt his grip on your forearm. You turned and felt sick inside when your eyes landed on Jonah. It was as if your blood ran cold and you knew that all you had left was hatred towards him.

"Hey, hands off her, buddy," Derek began to grow hostile.

"Who the hell are you?" Jonah asks him.

"Derek, let's go," you grumble, ripping yourself from Jonah's hold and pulling on Derek's wrist.

"I just want to talk," Jonah let out, defeated.

"Leave me alone, Jonah," you shout just as you and Derek reach his car, but Derek stopped walking when he heard the name that left your lips.

"This is Jonah?" Derek crossed his arms and turned back around.

"Just leave it," you begged, opening the front passenger side's door.

"This is the douche bag who-"

"Derek," you warned. He scoffed and ran a hand down his face as Jonah stared him down.

"Stay the fuck away from Y/N," Derek points at your ex.

"And who are you to tell me what to do? This is between Y/N and I," Jonah argued.

"Not if I don't want to talk to you," you spat back, venomously. "After some time, it does become harassment."

"Please, Y/N. I miss you," Jonah reached a hand up to his hair, harshly grabbing at it.

"It didn't look like that when she sat on your lap giving you the time of your life," you rolled your eyes. "You seem to have already gotten over me while we were still in a relationship, what's so hard about doing so now?"

Your eyes shift from Jonah to the boys who all come parading out of the sushi place. A huff of disbelief left your mouth when you see them all go to stand beside Jonah.

You slide into the car and slam the door shut as Derek climbs into the driver's seat, closing his door as well.

"That dick," Derek mumbled as he started the engine. You kept your eyes on your lap as he took the car out of park mode and drove off, leaving the five boys behind. "I could've beat him right there and then, you know."

You had told Derek about Jonah not too long ago. It was a short conversation and you didn't want to go too deep into it all, but the basics have been covered with Derek - that being you were cheated on by a boy named Jonah.

---

You sat on your living room couch with your legs crossed before you. Your body was accompanied by a thick pair of leggings and a random graphic tee with about twenty stains that haven't washed out in years.

You had your youngest sister, Evelyn, in your lap as you braided her hair just for the hell of it. She was watching cartoons on the television while you listened to music with one earbud in, your laptop placed beside you with an open Tumblr tab on it.

"Y/N!" You heard your other sister, Cara, drag your name out in her whine.

"Yes?!" You called back.

"It's Jack and Daniel and Corbyn and Zach!" You heard her call back. You furrowed your eyebrows, confused as to why she was saying their names. You stopped braiding Evelyn's hair and pulled the one earbud out of your ear, turning your head to face the hallway that leads to the kitchen and front door. Your eyes widened when you saw Cara standing at the open door.

"Cara! You're not supposed to open the door without telling me," you scold, shifting Evelyn off your lap and onto her feet as you get up and head over to the door.

Irritation ran through you when you saw the four boys gathered on your porch.

"Y/N!" Evelyn complained, running after you. "You didn't finish my hair," she whined.

"What are you guys doing here?" You sigh. "When will you understand that I don't want to speak with or see any of you?"

"Why not?" Cara asked you, making you realize that both your sisters were standing beside you.

"Because Jonah kissed another girl," Evelyn loudly whispers to Cara, who gasped loudly.

"How do you know?" Cara asked Evelyn.

"I was fake sleeping on the couch when Y/N and Derek was talking and-"

"Alright, both of you, go. Now," you demand, pointing to the stairs.

"Why?" Cara frowned while Evelyn stomped her foot.

"You didn't finish my hair!" She points out.

"I'll do it later," you sigh.

"But I want it done now!"

"Evelyn," you warn, staring at her with one risen eyebrow. The little girl huffs before stomping off up the stairs with Cara following behind.

Unfortunately, you still had four unwanted guys on your doorstep. You really wanted to close the door in their face, but you knew it wouldn't end there.

---

Masterlist | Request Here

[sorrelchestnut]

EVERYBODY’S PICKIN’ UP ON THAT FELINE BEAT, PART 31

GUESS WHO’S ACTUALLY WRITING IN FALLOUT AGAIN MOTHERFUCKERS.  man it feels good to make some actual progress on this beast.

Part 1.  Part 2.  Part 3.  Part 4.  Part 5.  Part 6.  Part 7.  Part 8.  Part 9.  Part 10.  Part 11. Part 12.  Part 13.  Part 14.  Part 15.  Part 16.  Part 17.  Part 18.  Part 19. Part 20.  Part 21.  Part 22. Part 23. Part 24. Part 25. Part 26.  Part 27. Part 28. Part 29. Part 30.

Title: everybody’s picking up on that feline beat Author: Sorrel Fandom: Fallout 4 Rating: Mature Warnings: None Relationships: Deacon/Female Sole Survivor Series: Part 3 of everybody wants to be a cat

  "Well, at least we know the lay of the land," Whisper says a day later, peering down the scope on her rifle at the courser standing deceptively still in front of the big double doors to Kendall Hospital.  “That’s something, at least.”

  "Unfortunately, so does the other guy, and they've got home field advantage."  Next to her, Deacon studies the approach through a pair of binoculars, but he already knows what he'll see: only one way up from the road, all other entrances carefully blocked off with rubble or flipped cars, just a single clear line with a dozen and a half different sightlines on anyone dumb enough to come up that way without authorization from the second courser posted down by the road.

  He knows it because he set it up that way, goddammit, and it grates even more than he would have thought to see the Institute using his carefully-designed safety procedures against him.  Bad enough that they cracked this place once already, killed their way from top to bottom and left his people where they dropped to be binned like trash by opportunistic raiders, but now this? It's insult to injury, and he knows he's not the only one who's pissed.  Whisper's too-still body next to him screams with tension, more than can be accounted for by the enemy combatant in her sights.

  Even that enemy combatant.

  "You sure those two coursers on watch are the only ones here?" Whisper asks Hancock, on her other side.

  Deacon leans up on his elbow, catches the tail end of Hancock’s answering shrug, a small economical movement of his narrow shoulders under the heavy rotting fabric of his coat.  "'Bout as sure as you can ever be with the Institute, yeah.  We watched 'em a solid week ‘fore I called you in.  They've got a fuckton of the plastic types, but only the two of flesh and blood.  And the doc himself, ‘course."

  “Of course,” Whisper says.  The muzzle of her rifle sweeps from one courser to the other and back again, thoughtful, and Deacon gets a sinking feeling in his stomach.

  “Partner,” he says, not wanting to use her code name in front of Hancock, and when she doesn’t respond, he nudges her with one elbow.  “Ey.  Liv.”

  That gets her attention, sure enough.  The line of her shoulders tightens up, and she shoots him a look he can’t quite read.  “What?”

  He’s spent too many years cultivating a personal talent for being fucking annoying in the name of justice to be put off by her petty irritation.  He nudges her again.  “Tell me you’re not thinking about trying to get past them.”

  “‘Get past’ is such a broad way of phrasing that,” Whisper says, going back to her scope.  She’s not looking at the courser anymore, but something further in the distance, Deacon can’t quite tell what.  “We have to get past them eventually, obviously.  But if you’re asking if I’m planning to storm the front door, then no.  I don’t think that would work as well on ‘cutting edge Institute fuck-up-your-day technology’ as it does on raiders that are too goddamn high to think straight.”

  “Well,” Deacon says, mollified.  “As long as we’ve got that settled.”

  “Such insightful critique.”  Whisper lays down her rifle and rolls over onto her back, bringing up her left wrist to fire up her Pip-boy.  Deacon insinuates himself in against her side to peer nosily over her shoulder, and she obligingly shifts to show him the map she’s pulled up on the screen.  “If you're going to be useful, at least offer constructive criticism.”

  She’s got the map zoomed in as far as it can go, just a few blocks in either direction.  There’s not much nearby; another reason he’d picked this spot, back in the day.  “Give me a hint.”

  “I'm thinking something like a Killdeer Shuffle.”

  It only takes a moment to see what she's talking about, but Deacon allows himself a slow count to five to make sure that he's not imagining things before he slowly twists around to give her a look of pure unadulterated reproach.

  "You're insane."

  "What?" Hancock says, looking back and forth between the two of them.  "What's going on?"

  Whisper doesn't look away from him.  "As I recall," she says, the corner of her mouth ticking up a little, "I specifically asked for constructive criticism.  These personal attacks are so childish."

  "Here's your criticism: it's insane."

  "Seriously, what's going on?"

  Deacon raises his eyebrows at her: you want to tell him?  She grins back.

  "It’s a distraction play,” she explains to Hancock.  “Make a big noise on their front door, draw out the watchdogs, and then slip in the back and take the prize while they’re still chasing their tails.  We can’t face a pair of coursers head on, but…”

  “There’s another way in,” Hancock surmises.  They both nod; Deacon doesn’t have any secrets left to protect here, and maybe Hancock can talk her out of this.  “Okay, sounds like a fair deal.  What’s the catch?”

  “Johnny’s got his panties in a twist about the distraction,” Whisper says.  Hancock raises a polite eyebrow, and she taps her thumbnail on the map, right over the Cambridge Crater.  “If you’re going to throw a party, it’s only polite to invite everyone.”

  Hancock’s not slow on the uptake, Deacon’s got to give him that.  “John’s right,” he says, flatly, after a moment.  “You’re insane.”

  “Oh, ye of little faith.”  Whisper doesn’t look anywhere near as daunted by their combined disapproval as she rightly should.  “Look, even a courser has to step in if you send a horde of ferals past their front door.  It’s a straight shot up from the crater; two guys in power armor could pull them all the way up here without too much risk, as long as they were moving fast.”

  She’s… not wrong.  Exactly.  “And where are these ‘two guys in power armor’ going to come from, again?”

  “I think Sturges has a few he hasn’t shipped back to Preston yet out at Starlite.  I could send Cait to pick them up; this is just her kind of party.  They’d come down the tracks and cross the river near Graygarden, loop around and come back up across the Longfellow Bridge.  From there it’s a straight shot across the Crater, and since it’s out of clear view from here the lookouts won’t know what started thes scuffle.  It’d look like a normal patrol that just went crossways.”

  She’s put a lot of thought into this.  It’s not some fly-by-night plan (not that they ever do that, of course), and that’s nice, but it doesn’t really make him any less wary.  There’s a lot riding on this- Kendall’s damn near in spitting distance of Bunker Hill and Ticonderoga bother, and they already know about Goodneighbor- and while normally he trusts Whisper to cover all the angles, he can’t forget that she’s been distracted lately.  They can’t afford to give the Institute an opening, not with so many balls in the air.

  “And you think the Institute is going to buy that?” he challenges.  “You think when our fine feathered friends down there finish plowing through those ferals, which they will, and come back to find the body they’re guarding gone with a bunch of dead Gen 2s lying around, which they will, they’re just gonna go, ‘oh yeah, those whacky Minutemen, what a wild co-inky-dink,’ and go home like nothing happened?  You think your people aren’t going to see reprisals for that?”

  Whisper gives him a faintly pitying look.

  “What?”

  “I don’t think the Minutemen are, no,” she says, talking like she’s explaining things to a particularly slow child.  (Or Carrington if you’re trying to piss him off.  Not that Deacon’s ever done that.  Much.)  “A double patrol in power armor, coming up from the southeast and heading west into Cambridge proper?  Why would they think the Minutemen had anything to do with it?”

  The elegance of her plan comes clear to him in one beautiful rush.  “The Brotherhood,” he breathes.  “They’re going to think the Brotherhood is behind it.”

  She nods, trying and failing to bite back a smug grin.  “Sure will, partner.”

  If Hancock wasn’t here, he’d grab her shoulders and plant one right on her smirking mouth.  “And with the Brotherhood seeming to gear up for a move against them, the Minutemen will drop down the Institute’s threat list.”

  “That’s the hope,” she says with a shrug.  “Might not come to anything, but at worst it’ll cover our tracks here, and at best we buy Preston some time.  It’s win/win.”  A sudden wry turn to her smile.  “Assuming we pull it off, that is.”

  “Oh, we’ll pull it off, don’t worry.”  He grins over her shoulder at Hancock, who’s sitting patiently on her other side, keeping very quiet so as not to interrupt and clearly, avidly drinking in every word.  Deacon’s not worried.  Whisper might trust Hancock, but she didn’t say anything he didn’t already know, either.  “Especially with a little help from our favorite local politician.”

  Whisper gives him a look: you sure about that?  Deacon grins lazily back: trust me, grasshopper.  She tips her shoulder in a shrug and turns to Hancock.  “You game?”

  Hancock’s black eyes flicker between the two of them before landing, oddly, on Deacon.  “Hell yeah,” he says.  “I want these bastards out of my city almost as bad as you do.  Just tell me what you need.”

  “That’s what I like to hear,” Whisper says.  That Pavlov guy really knew his shit, Deacon’s got to figure, because he’s feeling a rush of warmth down to his stomach from nothing more than the triumphant, toothy edge to her grin, in spite of the extra company.  “Okay.  What we’re going to do is this…”

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 35

“This could mean everything or nothing, but I know it’s ours.”

---

The three weeks after Vic and my “roof moment” were eventful to say the least.

Vic ended up having a party at his place the following Saturday. Of course, since he was so popular almost everyone from our school and surrounding schools in the district showed up. How those kids knew Vic I had no idea. Apparently he didn’t either. It got to the point where Jaime and Mike had to play bouncers and turn away people they didn’t know.

What was hilarious was the fact that Jacob and his friends had the nerve to show their faces at Vic’s house. They weren’t too happy when Jaime turned them away.

“What? How come he gets to be in there but we can’t be?” Jacob asked seething and glaring at me. I wanted to cower behind Jaime, but Vic was standing behind me. His hand grabbed mine and squeezed reassuringly.

“Because I like him. He’s cool. You’re a bitch.” I snickered at my boyfriend’s response. He was one of the only people who could get away with calling Jacob a bitch to his face. I was relishing in the moment.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No. Now leave. You’re keeping me from my party.”

Jacob stared at Jaime, Vic, and me with hatred in his eyes. He wasn’t budging so Jaime took it upon himself to push them away from the door. I couldn’t let them leave without sticking my tongue out at them before the door slammed in their faces.

Even with the guys policing the door, there were still some unwanted people who found their way in. Jaime and Mike did their best to kick out the ones who got too crazy before they eventually locked the doors and windows.

Unfortunately that didn’t keep shit from getting broken.

At around midnight someone had thrown a rock into one of the windows near the front door. The sound of breaking glass freaked out everyone in the living room and killed the vibe. The party ended then and there.

The rest of the night was spent with us cleaning the mess that was made. Mike and Jaime had gotten pretty drunk after they left their post as bouncers, so they were no help. Tori offered to babysit them so she was out too.

Mr. and Mrs. Fuentes weren’t happy when they saw the broken window, or when they saw hungover Mike. Both brothers were grounded for a month and they had to help their dad fix the window. Actually, they had to do the work themselves while their dad “supervised”. Vic complained that it was the worst since Mike tried to make him do most of the work and his dad didn’t say or do anything to help.

A week later Vic invited me to his house, even though that was against the rules of his punishment. His mom was upset that he’d gone behind her back, but she quickly forgave him when he told her why.

“Please? I need to do this today or I won’t.”

I chewed on my bottom lip. I could tell that this was important to him, but I didn’t want him to get in any more trouble.

“I don’t know…”

“You told me you’d support me. I need your support today.”

Vic had told me all about his plan for days. The more he talked to me the more I could tell he was convincing himself to go through with it. He hadn’t mentioned a day when he wanted to execute his plan but apparently that was today. And despite the fact that he was still grounded and he wasn’t allowed to have people over, I promised to be there for him whenever he decided to go through with it.

I sighed. “You’re right; I’m sorry. You have my support.”

He smiled his winning smile and took my hand in his. “Let’s do it.”

We walked through the front door and into the kitchen where his parents were. They didn’t notice us walk in.

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Fuentes,” I greeted them to get their attention. They turned to us in surprise before an angry look crossed Mrs. Fuentes’ face.

“Victor, I thought I told you you were grounded. That means no friends over.”

“I know Mama, but he’s here for a reason.”

I saw Mr. Fuentes’ eyes glance down at our hands. Vic noticed it too; his breathing got shallow. I locked our fingers together and squeezed his hand in reassurance. He smiled at me and took a deep breath.

“Mama, Papa, I wanna formally introduce you to Kellin, my boyfriend.”

Vic’s parents looked at each other before looking back at us.

“Boyfriend?” his father asked. Vic nodded. “Romantically?” Vic nodded again. “Then does that mean…”

“Sí papá, I’m gay.”

Time seemed to stand still as we waited for a reaction. Vic’s parents looked shocked, then confused. Vic was getting more and more nervous as the silence in the room grew.

Then Mrs. Fuentes stood up from her seat and gave her son a huge hug causing me to let go of his hand.

“Oh Vic! How long have you been keeping this from us?”

Vic still looked nervous as he spoke into his mother’s shoulder. “Um, Kellin and I have been dating since November, but I’ve known I was gay for about a year.”

“A year?” Mrs. Fuentes pulled away.

Vic nodded. “I didn’t know how to tell you. You’re not mad, are you?”

“Of course not!” his dad spoke up. “Why would we be? We love you no matter what.” He got up as well and hugged me then his son. “And now you have someone else to love you too.”

Vic and I didn’t say that word to each that day, but to be honest I knew it was coming. I could feel it. There was something in the air between us since his birthday and our moment on the roof. The feeling only intensified after Vic came out.

It was as if a weight had been lifted and I was able to really feel everything. All the things I had been thinking about since Vic and I rekindled our relationship before winter break had been swirling in my head for months. It was after he came out that I realized what those feelings were.

I wouldn’t necessarily call it love, but it was close. I wanted to be around him or text him if we weren’t together. He made me laugh and he made me feel safe. He was so caring even with that tough guy demeanor he put on. I even liked his horny, perverted mind. How he always wanted to touch me in some way, whether it was holding my hand, putting his arm around me, or grabbing my hips when we kissed in private.

And the kisses! His lips. His eyes. His arms. His smile. Everything about him was ridiculously attractive and almost irresistible. My feelings weren’t of love, but damn they were getting there.

But what would I do when it got there? Was I going to say it first? Hell no! Would I want to, though? Maybe. If I were bold enough I would want to bite the bullet and tell him how I felt, but I would also want to respect the fact that he had recently come out to his parents. I remember how emotional telling my mom was, and how we both needed time to process everything and talk about our feelings. Vic would need that opportunity as well.

I was thinking too far into the future, and I knew that, but my overthinking mind never rested when it came to things like this. So I obsessed about my feelings for my boyfriend of four months as I watched him.

We were in his bedroom working on our music appreciation project. I was laying across Vic’s mattress with my eyes going from him to watching the blades of his ceiling fan circle overhead. We had four days before our project was due so Vic had invited me over. We were almost done with the recording; we just needed to check the levels and give the song a title.

Vic was sitting at his desk with his back to me. I turned to him when I heard him sigh and watched his shoulders tense in frustration. He was looking over the project rubric to make sure we hadn’t missed anything. I tried to tell him that we had everything we needed, but he “wanted to make sure”. Now he was second guessing himself and stressing himself out. It was kind of adorable seeing how concerned he was about our schoolwork. He was my little nerd.

I got up after another sigh left his lips and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck from behind and rested my chin on the top of his head.

“Will you calm down? We’re gonna get an A,” I tried to reassure him.

He replied, “I’m not worried about the grade. Well, not really.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

He swiveled his chair to face me and put his hands on my hips. “I’m gonna ask you something and you can’t freak out.”

“Are you trying to warn me or something?”

He shrugged. “Kinda.”

“Well you know I obsess over things so just tell me.”

He sighed and rubbed circles on my hips with his thumbs. “Did you wanna do the extra credit?”

I raised an eyebrow in confusion. Extra credit? The only extra credit I could remember was-

“No!” I gasped. I tried to take a step out of Vic’s embrace but he had a strong grip on my hips. He hugged my middle and pulled me onto his lap.

“Please don’t make me,” I whined into his shoulder.

“C’mon babe, it’ll be fine.”

I shook my head. “No. Nope. Not gonna happen. I’m not doing it.”

“Kell, trust me, you’ll be fine. We’ll be doing it together.”

I raised my head to look in his eyes and give him my most disapproving look. “And if you wanted me to jump off a skyscraper with you I’d let you do that alone too.”

“Damn,” he laughed, “you’d do me like that?”

“If it meant I didn’t have to do the extra credit then yes.”

He pulled my head to him and kissed my temple. “You’ll be fine, baby, trust me. I’ll be right there with you.”

I sighed. He was set on this and there was no way I could convince him otherwise. “Fine,” I answered with a pout, “but I’m not gonna be happy about it.”

He kissed me gently and rubbed my back, and suddenly the news wasn’t so bad.

***

This was gonna suck.

I was going to kill Vic.

I hated that he could calm me down and convince me to go against my instincts with a stupid kiss. Maybe I just hated him.

Yeah, that made more sense.

My foot tapped nervously underneath my seat. We were sitting in music appreciation waiting for Ms. Pope to call up the groups who wanted to get extra credit. I had watched Vic walk up to her before class started and put our names on the list. That’s when my hatred for him began for the day.

He sat in the seat next to me with a shit-eating grin on his attractive face. If I didn’t hate him so much I would have swooned.

“Will you relax?” he asked when he noticed my shaking foot.

“Don’t fucking tell me to relax,” I snapped. “I told you I didn’t want to do this.”

He didn’t seem fazed by my outburst. He took his acoustic guitar out of its case and started tuning it.

“How can you be so calm about this?” He shrugged. “That’s it?” His nonchalant nature was making me hate him more.

“I’ve done this before; it’s not a new thing to me. Haven’t you?”

I shook my head. I’d never as much showed my lyric notebook to anyone, but my boyfriend wanted me to sing a song I’d written in front of my class. A whole ass song complete with instruments and everything. I was going to die.

“Take a breath,” he instructed me. That’s when I realized I hadn’t inhaled in the last...how many minutes? I took my bottom lip out from between my teeth and breathed in slowly. Vic had looked up from his guitar and watched as I did so.

“Better?” he asked. I nodded which made him smile.

“I still don’t wanna do this.”

“I know, but it’s too late to back out now.”

He was right. The bell had rang signaling the start of fourth period. I slouched down in my seat. Fucking great.

Ms. Pope silenced us and prefaced the day’s activity: song debuts.

Each group had the opportunity to play their song for the class for extra credit on the project. You could either play the recording of your song for five extra points and have Ms. Pope grade it then and there, or you could play it live for ten extra points. Vic had wanted us to play it live, hence why he brought his guitar to school.

I hated the idea with a burning passion, but Vic was so adamant about it. He said that if I didn’t sing with him then he’d sing the song by himself, which I would’ve been fine with until I realized that meant he’d be singing my lyrics to the class. I felt that since my lyrics were personal I should be the only one to sing them. When I told him this he gave me his signature cocky grin and that was the end of that. I still hadn’t stopped complaining though.

“We’re just going to go down the list of groups. It looks like we should get all of these done today. Remember, be a respectful audience member and don’t talk, and keep your feedback for the end of the performance.”

We silently agreed to Ms. Pope’s instructions and the debuts began.

Vic had been the last one to sign up so we were going to be preforming at the end of class. I tried not to think about that as we listened to all the groups before us. Many of them chose the five-point option and played their recording for us. Some of them were good and others were clearly done on GarageBand nights before.

There were a handful of groups that played their songs live, although none of them had lyrics. There was a group with violin and piano which I thought was very pretty. There was another with only electric guitars that seemed to battle each other. It almost sounded like a Polyphia song.

“Thank you, Josh, Andy, and Zach. Okay, last but not least, Vic and Kellin!”

My eyes widened in fear. How did our turn come up so quickly? We’d started just a few minutes ago and now it was our turn? We were last on the list!

My chest got tighter as these questions and worries ran through my mind. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do-

“Hey,” someone whispered to me. I looked to my right and saw Vic’s concerned eyes.

“I need you to breathe.” I nodded and followed his hands as he mimed inhaling and exhaling slowly. “Better?” I nodded.

“Vic? Kellin? Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Vic answered, “we were just going over some things.” Ms. Pope smiled and let us know we had another minute to get up there.

Vic turned back to me. “Are you okay?”

I shook my head. “I can’t do it,” I hoarsely whispered. My mouth felt so dry and my lungs hurt from hyperventilating.

Vic reached down and handed me a water bottle from his backpack. I smiled in thanks as I twisted the cap and drank. “Yes, you can,” he said as I drank. “And if you start feeling like you can’t just look at me. I’ll do everything I can to make you feel better.”

I looked at him as I put the cap back on the bottle. He smiled at me, his eyes holding that familiar sparkle that I’d grown to adore. My racing heart slowed from just looking at his handsome face.

“Can we please go over it one more time?” Vic answered my question with an annoyed sigh as he rubbed his wrist.

“Kells, we’ve run through it three times from top to bottom. I think it’s fine.”

“But I wanna try something else with the last chorus. Please?”

He rolled his eyes at my request. It wasn’t my fault though. Our extra credit performance was the following day, and if it weren’t for Vic’s stupid desire of wanting us to sing in front of our class, I wouldn’t be obsessing over having our song sound perfect.

He really was to blame for everything.

“Babe, we’ve been through the song so much. I’m in pain. Can we please take a break?”

I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. “Fine,” I huffed. He shook his head before leaning back in his chair.

I guess I should’ve been less demanding. He was the one playing guitar while all I had to do was sing. While I only had to remember the lyrics, he had way more to focus on, like the strumming patterns, chords, melody, and when to play what in accordance with the words I sang.

Some of that was on him though. He had written the guitar part himself.

I couldn’t help wanting everything to sound its absolute best. This was the first time anyone would hear anything I’d written. It was a big deal. I had so many emotions running through me and we weren’t even in class yet!

I didn’t want to mess up. I couldn’t bear to think about what would happen if I sang the wrong lyric, or if I missed my cue. Everyone would instantly know I fucked up and would judge me almost as bad as I would judge myself. I know I would never let myself live it down.

“Hey,” I heard. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at Vic. “You’re stressing out. Stop that.”

I frowned. “No, I’m not.”

He chuckled as he stood from his seat and walked to me on the bed. “You’re a bad liar. Your face gives you away every time.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear then slowly ran his thumb up and down my cheek.

“I’m just afraid it’ll all go wrong.” My voice came out as a whisper, as if I didn’t want to admit it to anyone, not even myself.

“Trust me, Kell, it’ll be fine. No one will know if we make a mistake because they don’t know the song. As long as we’re confident it’ll be okay.”

I nodded slightly as I stared into his warm brown eyes. They held so much concern for me and my feelings. It warmed my heart.

I reached out and wrapped my arms around his waist. He reciprocated by wrapping his arms around my neck as he stepped in between my legs. He pushed us back so I was laying on the bed then allowed room for us to shift so we were laying on our sides. I giggled when he kissed my nose.

“Are you sure we’ll be okay?” I asked.

He planted a lingering kiss on my forehead before speaking. “Trust me, everything will be alright.”

“You’ve got this, KQ. I believe in you.”

I smiled back at him. I found myself believing him as I stood up with him and walked to the front of the class.

Vic and I took our positions at the front of the room, me standing and him sitting in a chair next to me. He checked the turning on his guitar before he glanced at Ms. Pope who nodded at us.

“Hey guys. I’m Vic; this is my friend Kellin, and we’ve got a song for you.”

He looked to me and mouthed, “You ready?” to which I nodded after taking a deep breath to calm the last of my nerves. Vic started strumming on his guitar and the song began.

Vic played the beautiful introduction to the song. It sounded like harp music the way he played it; it was almost hard to believe it was on guitar. I glanced down at his fingers wondering how he was able to do it so effortlessly.

His strumming changed which was my cue. Here goes nothing.

“Is it naïve to make plans that seem so far away?

We’re too young to move this fast, and I think…”

Vic smiled up at me and subtly nodded toward the class. I looked to them after I sang the next line:

“Heaven breathes you in.

Ooh baby you’re the one.”

We got to the first chorus and I immediately pictured the moment in Vic’s bedroom the night before. He’d done exactly what the chorus said:

“Lay me down and tell me everything will be alright.

Things will be alright.”

A smile spread across my lips at the memory. Suddenly it felt as if we were back in his room rehearsing. No one else was around and we could relax. I could relax.

I did just that as I sang the rest of the chorus and started the second verse.

“I think let’s not wait,

Let’s love right now.”

Those lyrics made my smile grow. When Vic and I had first thought of themes and lyrics for the song we agreed that we’d base it on the Romantic era. We wanted to talk about love and tragedy in some capacity, but also play to our musical strengths. We didn’t really think about what lyrics we were using as long as they fit our theme and era.

Now, as I sang the song to my class, I couldn’t help but think about Vic and how intense the feelings I had for him were. He made me feel safe, but sometimes he made parts of me burn with passion. I would stop breathing when he kissed me or when his fingers traced my skin.

My heart swelled when he looked at me and smiled his warm smile, or when he stood up for me against bullies. We’d gotten so close in the last few months, and I knew how I felt about him.

I loved Vic Fuentes.

I didn’t want to admit it at first, mostly because I felt it was too soon, but when you know, you know. I couldn’t deny it. I looked at him as he played his guitar, a hint of a smile on his lips as he looked back at me. I had to look away so my gaze wouldn’t linger.

“I’ll whisper sweet things in your ear,

Tell you things that you should hear.”

“Loving arms that hold you close,

And listen when it matters most.”

Yes, I loved him. I loved when he teased me and joked with me. I loved that he was open with me and vulnerable. I loved that he trusted me and I him. I loved his smile and his beautiful brown eyes. I loved his nose ring that made him look edgy and so damn sexy. I loved his biceps and I especially loved when he held me.

I loved his kisses and how his lips were so soft yet dominating. I loved that he always checked with me to make sure I was okay before he took things further. I loved that he trusted me with his secrets and came out to me before anyone else. And I loved that I was able to be there for him when he came out to his friends and family.

I loved the boy sitting beside me, and if I wasn’t such a punk I would’ve told him then and there.

Instead, I looked down at him as I sang the last line in the chorus. He met my gaze and played the last lick of the song. We paused as we ended the song together and smiled at each other. I soon became very aware that we were in front of our classmates, so I turned to face them with my smile still present.

Ms. Pope was the first one to start clapping, then some kids in the back, and soon the class was cheering and hollering. Vic stood up from his seat and nudged my side with his elbow. I looked at him and he put his arm around my shoulders.

“See? I told you you could do it,” he whispered in my ear.

If we weren’t at school, I would’ve kissed him. I would’ve grabbed his hand and pulled him to me and pressed my lips against his. His hands would’ve found their way to my hips and he would’ve pulled me to him to close any space between us. After we pulled away I would’ve confessed my love for him. He surely would’ve said it back and we’d kiss again.

But unfortunately we were at school. We were in front of people who didn’t know we were together. We were just friends to them, and we couldn’t afford to have them know we were anything more.

But when the bell rang all of that ceased to matter. We all left the classroom and gathered our things from our lockers. Vic and I went our separate ways to our cars. We texted each other when we got into our vehicles to confirm our plans. One of us would go over to the other’s house after school. We’d congratulate each other on a job well done. Then we’d make out on his bed and think of ways to express the love we hadn’t explicitly said.