zoneofsmites

[zoneofsmites]

everyone and their mama used this ref and I will too

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Which Hawke (Mage, Rogue, Warrior) would win in a fight no holds barred? NO blood magic allowed!

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i love this boissssss 😭😭😭💝

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Ah, yes, I see you’ve taken notice of the fine knight I keep dangling in a big gilded cage above my evil throne. Quite the pretty little ornament the would be savior makes, wouldn’t you agree~?

What? No, it IS a big cage. That’s- it’s the standard size for a knight’s cage I’m pretty sure. NO I’m not going to invest in 500 square feet of dungeon, it’s ONE knight! I’m pretty sure knights live in hovels in the wild anyways which is basically the same- Look, the cage is quite literally gilded. He loves the cage! He loves obediently preening in the cage! Yeah well, when you capture your own knight you can keep it in whatever size castle you want to, but this one’s mine. Especially since you’re so obviously jealous of me and my cute and awesome knight anyway.

[zoneofsmites]

rules of chivarly for knights

1. always wash your gauntlets after tinkling

2. kill people so they can go to heaven sooner

[zoneofsmites]

I know I touched on this a bit in my claustrophobia meta but there is literally no reason for the Warhorse writers to name both the butcher's daughter in The Amorous Adventures of Bold Sir Hans Capon and Hans' Bohunowitz girl Karolina:

Unless they're trying to signal to the audience that this girl is 100% made up and Hans went for the first name that came to mind.

Henry can even call him out on it!

And Hans naturally comes up with the weirdest possible excuse for this.

[zoneofsmites]

Speculating where Henry learnt to be as smooth and comfortable as he was with Black Bartosh. In the monastery with Lucas???

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I drew a tutorial for all the new players struggling with combat hope it helps!!

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new farkle win strategy just dropped

[zoneofsmites]

"What are we going to do about the wedding?"

[zoneofsmites]

i'd like to... flatter someone. know what i mean?

kingdom come: deliverance ii (2025)

[zoneofsmites]

I have no idea how to paint horses, horse gear or armour. But I needed to make "knight and his beloved lord" paintings that look like something I could have seen in a museum, but I didn't because there were none, so a boy must do what he can. And, even though this artwork might look like it's an angsty goodbye, it's actually Hans feeling clingy with separation anxiety even if Henry's is about to travel not further than a nearby city where he knows he can get some real good wine to make his lordly bitch happy.

[zoneofsmites]

[zoneofsmites]

what a beautiful man but☝️he could be beautifuller... guards! cover that man in blood

[zoneofsmites]

Oh my gosh. I just found this website that walks you though creating a believable society. It breaks each facet down into individual questions and makes it so simple! It seems really helpful for worldbuilding!

[zoneofsmites]

Don't worry everybody I promise to be normal tonight.

One drink in: Who would like to swear fealty to my cause

[zoneofsmites]

i call this the headcanon chart. see my vision