#fatal-thoughts ask

[fatal-thoughts]

Anon here requesting a part 2 to the recent Telemachus fic. Please 🙏

(Btw- I adore your writing style! Gonna binge your fics later ^^)

Aw, tysm! A lot of yall really want a part 2 so here you go, my loves.

A Lovely Exchange P 2

P1 here

Telemachus x Reader

Synopsis: Telemachus already fights off his mother’s suitors, but what if he manages to become one? To… one of the palace’s servants?

A/N: Ya'll are hilarious in the comments of part 1, dw I hear ya'll I hear y'all loud and clear. Also, don't be shy to send me asks and even suggestions, I don't mind^^

“You like her, don’t you, son?”

Wait… WHAT??

HOW DID SHE KNOW?

Was it that obvious? 

WAIT! I DIDN’T KNOW!—

Telemachus was breaking in a cold sweat, his fists shaking as he maintained his eye contact with the ground, not wanting to face his mother.

“I-I…”

‘This is fine, this is fine! Everything will be fine. Just—just lie, right? That seems easy enough…’

He takes a deep breath.

“I… do…”

Athena he has said this once and he shall say it again, please come to his aid.

Penelope’s eyes light up upon hearing that. 

Telemachus was holding his breath so much you’d think he was about to pass out. Thankfully, his mother spoke before he turned blue.

“Good, I always knew you had the eyes for her. Honestly, son, I was just waiting for you to tell me! I always wondered why you’d often avoid Y/n, she is always so sweet and kind—mostly the reason why I favour her so much. Then I realised that's why you were avoiding her. You liked her! How adorable.”

Telemachus took a few good seconds (or more) to process his mother’s words.

Seriously? She KNEW?

And she didn’t SAY ANYTHING?

Well shit, he didn’t know he was that obvious. She could’ve spared him the embarrassment on that one but alright.

“Mom, you knew? This entire time? You KNEW?”

Telemachus asked, standing up and going through a crisis right in front of his mother. Penelope nodded with a sweet smile on her blissful face.

“Why did you not say anything?”

“I wanted to see for myself of course. And the way you spoke to Y/n earlier just proved it.”

Fuuuck he was so AWKWARD WHEN HE SPOKE TO Y/N.

Athena can turn back time, right? She's a goddess so she’s definitely capable of that right? Or maybe he can make a deal with another god just so that Y/n can forget that Telemachus ever existed.

God, he wanted to pass out so badly!!

“It’s alright son, Y/n is more than suitable to be your partner! Speaking of which, look at how beautiful the roses have blossomed this day. You sure chose a lovely girl to court, do you think this is her favourite flower? Or Is it daisies? ”

Penelope sounded so blissfully unaware as she put her hands together, excited with the idea of Telemachus and Y/n together.

“Mom! Please! I’m not even able to speak to her in complete sentences yet! Let alone be her partner right now! Y/n is…”

“Yes, my prince?”

A serene voice called out.

Telemachus froze like ice. 

His mother on the other hand immediately got up on her feet as she approached the voice.

“Y/n! Just in time, my dear. We were just talking about you.”

…Shit.

Having heard your name be called out from a distance, you decided to see where all the commotion was coming from. Soon enough, you found yourself being approached by the Queen and a very… conflicted looking Telemachus.

Did he tell his mother about what happened earlier? Is he still nervous? Why did he look so… red?

Your thoughts were put on hold as you saw Queen Penelope in front of you.

“Did you need anything, my Queen?”

You asked her, her gaze mischievously shifting from you to Telemachus for a split second.

“My son and I were just speaking of your beautiful work in the garden, my dear. You’ve outdone yourself Y/n.”

Telemachus nodded in agreement, an offputting smile on his lips and a pink hue returning to his cheeks and migrating into his ears, which he tried to hide under his hair. 

It was no surprise the flowers you grew were quite a wonderful bunch. Your father used to be the palace gardener and in his spare time, he’d teach you all of his tricks on how to take care of flowers of all kinds. And since his retirement, you unsurprisingly took over.

Hearing the Queen’s praise warmed your heart.

“In fact, you have done so well that Telemachus would love to thank you with a quaint little dinner with him! A lovely exchange isn’t it?”

A dinner? With the prince? How sweet of him, perhaps he does like you a little bit. It doesn’t explain why he’s looking at Queen Penelope in disbelief like she just betrayed him.

Because she did.

He just said that he still couldn’t talk to her in coherent sentences.

And she sets him up with her, on a date, alone, just the two of them.

This is it, he couldn’t believe it.

His mother, his own mother, wants to kill him.

There was no other explanation as to why she would EVER suggest this.

Except if she wanted to actually kill him.

“Telemachus!”

Penelope called out to him, snapping him out of his daze. He fixes from looking at her back to you, with a genuine little smile at him.

“It’s settled then, yes? You will mar—I mean, dine with Y/n tonight correct?”

The boy managed to let out an awkward and voice-cracked “Yes’.

Penelope couldn’t hide her smile at the two as she put her hands on your shoulders.

“Wonderful, You’d be a delightful daughter-in-law!”

You quickly turn your head towards her, daughter-in-law. Is she ensuing…

Meanwhile, Telemachus was for sure about to give in on his own knees.

“I mean—oh well, we shall prepare for your upcoming date now. Come along Telemachus! We have much to discuss! As for you, Y/n, I shall have a tailor for your clothes shortly. We have a special dinner to prepare!”

Penelope moves with a quick pace, dragging Telemachus by his arm which was soon to break from her force.

“AH! Mom! I almost tripped!”

“One must endure slight pain when they are in love, my son.”

“I could’ve gone limp!”

“Same thing, Telemachus. Come along now! We have much to discuss.”

It was a bit confusing, but nonetheless, the exchange brought a sweet smile to your face.

Perhaps Telemachus is a sweetheart.

Sorry if it was a bit rushed, I wanted to work on other one-shots for a bit.

(Aka I'm writing a dark romance Antinous x Reader one-shot since that man has been in my head for so long now and I need to feed my delusions)

Don't expect a part 3 to this btw, I have other fics to write.

(Like the Antinous one, I swear please just let me get this one-shot out PLEASE)

Anyway, hope you liked this one.

-Fatal-thoughts

[stil-lindigo]

you wonder why I'm bitter?

[confusionmeisss]

percy jackson and julian blackthorn are essentially the same in the sense that both their fatal flaws are personal loyalty, and in this essay i will-

[lesbianoms]

A bakery owner with a taste for scrumptious looking little ladies. The older woman offers them a chance to taste test a few of her new recipes. A few is an understatement though as your stuffed to the brim with rich sweets and pastries. Before you can escape a rope secures them to the chair theyre in. "Now now, it's rude to leave without finishing everything on your plate." She teases, bringing in a large cake and feeds you herself. The ropes digging into your bloated tummy. "Had enough," She cooes as she pokes your taunt middle. "Good, now its time for mama to have a little treat." She picks up an cupcake and wolfs it down, she presses your head against her doughy middle as you listen to her final gulp and the sound of her hungry belly waking up.

'That's where treats like you belong." She says before swallowing you down. Its so cramped inside her belly and so active. From the gurgles in her lower intestines, you weren't the first 'snack' she's had today. She rubs her massive orb of a belly barely hidden under her apron. She comments on your taste like a chef critiquing a meal, that is what you are after all. A nice meal to get her through the day, though the occasional cookie, doughnut, cupcake and more join you as she continues testing whatever creations you couldn't. She gives you one last rub before heading back to work, easily hiding you under the counter when talking to guests or pressing you up against her tables when she's reaching for something. Your struggles and pleas go unnoticed beyond a teasing pat as she lets you stew inside her.

I’ve read this a few times now and fuck this is so hot… the pre-vore stuffing, the condescending way she treats me and jiggles my belly around as I’m getting ready to be shoved down her gullet~

The TEASING 🥵

I would love LOVE to stew inside of her for a good long while… like even when she returns home from the shift, she can still hear my little moans and muffled whimpers as she pats and squishes me around (I’m not as solid as I was, but not toooo soft yet <3)

Throughout the days… uuuowwh 🥰 just imagine her belly getting smaller, that apron fitting more snugly around her waist as it pressed into my goopy form…

I hope that by the end of it all I was a good little meal for her… 😵‍💫

[nightmareevara]

Ur type?

Dangerous women who can make anyone shit their pants with glare

[boyfridged]

i’ve been thinking a lot about what is so unique and appealing about 80s robin jay’s moral standing that got completely lost in plot later on. and i think a huge part of it is that in a genre so focused on crime-fighting, his motivations and approach don’t focus on the category of crime at all. in fact, he doesn’t seem to believe in any moral dogma; and it’s not motivated by nihilism, but rather his open-heartedness and relational ethical outlook.

we first meet (post-crisis) jay when he is stealing. when confronted about his actions by bruce he’s confident that he didn’t do anything wrong – he’s not apologetic, he doesn’t seem to think that he has morally failed on any account. later on, when confronted by batman again, jay says that he’s no “crook.” at this point, the reader might assume that jay has no concept of wrong-doing, or that stealing is just not one of the deeds that he considers wrong-doing. yet, later on we see jay so intent on stopping ma gunn and her students, refusing to be implicit in their actions. there are, of course, lots of reasons for which we can assume he was against stealing in this specific instance (an authority figure being involved, the target, the motivations, the school itself being an abusive environment etc.), but what we gather is that jay has an extremely strong sense of justice and is committed to moral duty. that's all typical for characters in superhero comics, isn't it? however, what remains distinctive is that this moral duty is not dictated by any dogma – he trusts his moral instincts. this attitude – his distrust toward power structures, confidence in his moral compass, and situational approach, is something that is maintained throughout his robin run. it is also evident in how he evaluates other people – we never see him condemning his parents, for example, and that includes willis, who was a petty criminal. i think from there arises the potential for a rift between bruce and jay that could be, have jay lived, far more utilised in batman comics than it was within his short robin run.

after all, while bruce’s approach is often called a ‘philosophy of love and care,’ he doesn’t ascribe to the ethics of care [eoc] (as defined in modern scholarship btw) in the same way that jay does. ethics of care ‘deny that morality consists in obedience to a universal law’ and focus on the ideals of caring for other people and non-institutionalized justice. bruce, while obviously caring, is still bound by his belief in the legal system and deontological norms. he is benevolent, but he is also ultimately morally committed to the idea of a legal system and thus frames criminals as failing to meet these moral (legal-adjacent) standards (even when he recognizes it is a result of their circumstances). in other words, he might think that a criminal is a good person despite leading a life of crime. meanwhile, for jay there is no despite; jay doesn't think that engaging in crime says anything about a person's moral personality at all. morality, for him, is more of an emotional practice, grounded in empathy and the question of what he can do for people ‘here and now.’ he doesn’t ascribe to maxims nor utilitarian calculations. for jay, in morality, there’s no place for impartiality that bruce believes in; moral decisions are embedded within a net of interpersonal relationships and social structures that cannot be generalised like the law or even a “moral code” does it. it’s all about responsiveness. 

to sum up, jay's moral compass is relative and passionate in a way that doesn't fit batman's philosophy. this is mostly because bruce wants to avoid the sort of arbitrariness that seems to guide eoc. also, both for vigilantism, and jay, eoc poses a challenge in the sense that it doesn't create a certain 'intellectualised' distance from both the victims and the perpetrators; there's no proximity in the judgment; it's emotional.

all of this is of course hardly relevant post-2004. there might be minimal space for accommodating some of it within the canon progression (for example, the fact that eoc typically emphasises the responsibility that comes with pre-existing familial relationships and allows for prioritizing them, as well as the flexibility regarding moral deliberations), but the utilitarian framework and the question of stopping the crime vs controlling the underworld is not something that can be easily reconciled with jay’s previous lack of interest in labeling crime. 

[randomnameless]

Reading something about "why won't the CoS open the borders will Almyra?"

Disregarding the fact that the only CoS controlled territory is Garreg Mach and the Locket is located in the Alliance, why won't the Alliance open the border and welcome Almyrans with open arms?

Well, it's basically showcased (tfw show not tell) in a certain paralogue in FE16.

To start, this is one of the few "defend" maps in the entire game, iirc we have this one, the "protect GM" version of chapter 12, Shamir's paralogue and, iirc, Chapter 14 when Randolph tries to earn "merit".

Basically, the objective of this map is to protect the locket from Almyran forces who are raiding them for some reason.

Hilda starts with :

"Most of our allies have fallen."

So confirmation that Almyran forces aren't only coming with mock weapons to play bowling with their Fodlan neighbours, or are asking politely if they can pass, House Goneril's allies were killed.

"He's not here?! Oh... I'm sorry. You must have been absolutely terrified."

She tries to reassure her random (a Goneril soldier) that she will help, so they don't need to be afraid/to panic anymore.

"That's you, Professor. Please help us save our allies and protect Fódlan's Locket."

The first thing she says is to please "save" her allies/her randoms, and then to protect the locket. Emphasis again on "saving" lives, because Almyrans are raiding not only houses to bring souvenirs, but take lives too.

"Support! We're saved!" "Ah, things are looking up. Let's keep going, and save the others!"

Yep.

If a loldier dies :

"Oh no! They got one...but we can still rescue the others!"

Hilda still wants to "rescue" the others. She worries about the lives of her soldiers who are defending the Locket, but not only the locket!

If they all die, a soldier says this "We must defend here, or else... Our house... The Alliance...".

And if the line is breached, an Almyran soldier will say this :

"Yeah! We took Fódlan's Locket! With this, we'll be able to invade, no problem!"

:(

So bar this chapter blowing a hole the size of a 7 floors building in Claude's character across both games, we see here that, well, Almyra uses weapons and isn't afraid to kill Goneril soldiers who want to protect their homes and houses to "invade".

So who is behind Fodlan's general apathy towards Almyrans, the CoS like Claude says in both games (even if he seems to reconsider after discovering water is wet in VW), or Almyrans themselves???

Or, in other terms, who are we supposed to believe, Claude who tells us the CoS is the reason why Fodlan people don't like people coming from Almyra, or the game, showing us Almyrans are trouncing Fodlan people to happily invade ?

[notachair]

ARCANE S2 SPOILERS

btw 🤗🤗🤗 to me being right about jayce using the hexcore to save or "save" viktor after being deadly (or apparently *dead* I think) injured after the attack against the council and it leading to jayvik divorce 🤗🤗🤗 happy birthday to me 🥳🥂

[speedofsoundsketches]

I noticed that Cucho can speak Spanish. Is he himself Spanish/Latino?

He is! Like how the Unleashed Hub Worlds are based on certain regions in real life, there's an area that's the Central American equivalent where he originates. (Tho he specifically is based mostly on Mexican culture.)

And since the Ancient Echidna's are the Mayan/Aztec equivalent, perhaps they had some connection to Chucho's ancestral peoples. The former was a massive world power at their peak....

Who's to say?

[im-just-a-little-freak]

what's some predcrushes you don't really get to talk about as much?

ones that i already have mentioned are like, hellboy, fatgum, I’ve only mentioned billy butcher one time and like, my own ocs but I can’t talk about them publicly because I need to make a comic about them and actually get it to take off.

although I haven’t mentioned a few, mostly out of shame, but beelzebub from good omans, Brandon from the wildwood books, falin from delicious in dungeon and just…paladins, like, they just have gentle pred energy, idk, also some cookie run characters

[clamsjams]

bud you gotta elaborate on why qPhil would be such a bad option for the rebellion to recruit, there are a couple reasons why that I can think of but I'm curious as to what yours are

tumblr mobiles being weird and not letting me post links but i did reblog the og post with elaboration

but basically the gist of it is that phil is so so so attached to his eggs that if it came down to a choice between selling out the resistance or his eggs safety he’s choosing his eggs 100% everytime and the federation knows this. and that’s a liability i don’t think the resistance can afford

[gothsuguru]

?????( KAIRO????????? YOU CAN’T CASUALLY MENTION KING!SUGU/KNIGHT!READER AND THEN MOVE ON I’M ABT TO EXPLODE 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

ok but “call off your dog” is THEEE dynamic ever to me actually like it’s so good …. that feral devotion…. reader being like his attack dog…… i’m just thinking abt this vine 😭😭 the dog is knight!reader the owner is king!sugu and satoru is the one abt to get bitten LMAOOO

I’M GONNA HAVE TO HEAR MORE DETAILS ON THEIR DYNAMIC FROM U THOUGH PLSPLS I’M ON MY HANDS AND KNEES :’3

YOU’RE SO RIGHT ABT THAT DYNAMIC gojo is a squealer, suguru’s an instigator, & reader is just :3 BARK

& KDKDKDKDKD LISTEN IT’S SOMETHING I THOUGHT ABT A WHILE AGO ONLY MOMENTARILY but i will say king!geto infiltrates my thoughts from time to time </3

omfg i haven’t really thought of the lore of this au in depth 😭 i just know i wanted it to be feral violent dark devotion <3 just very intense and raw but VERY genuine like there’s genuine love there that makes them soooooo insane <3 i think the idea of king!geto is just delicious…

there’s rumors across the kingdom where the now king!geto murdered his parents in cold blood in order to usurp the throne (is this real or not? who knows? not me…) to those he dislikes/who dislike him: he’s a cunning king… sly… manipulative… calculating… tactically/strategically intelligent… he’s like a viper <3 venomous serpent fangs ready to strike when the opportunity presents itself, his fangs leaving ragged bloody raw bite marks in his opponent’s necks where they simply won’t ever survive // on the flip side/more human side he’s a young king after all so in the privy of his castle/palace he’s a bratty, huffy, dramatic king :> a funny lil twist from the demure, elegant, alluring king that the townspeople see

BUT on the opposite end for those he adores/adore him: he always looks out for them! he really does LOVE his people i think the reason that he’s SO beloved is because he wants to create a better world for his subjects! he’s kind, caring, & always has their best interests in heart! he keeps them safe, he goes into the town to speak to vendors/assess how to help them, & then plays with the little children (nanako mimiko megumi yuji & yuuta are especially fond of the king and he’s especially fond of them <3 they’re all his little babies <3)

as for knight!reader… omfg insane human i love them. they’re like if a wolf, raven, & a panther had a baby. just a rugged/morally grey/sick sick sick individual 😭 i think in the beginning their devotion stems not necessarily from Love for suguru & the royal family but from the Love of fighting/killing! they were a ward of the infamous assassin toji zen’in and worked under the tutelage of king ryomen sukuna, a tyrannical & heinous king. they have a scar that runs from their left eyebrow down their eye on the middle of their cheek courtesy of sukuna </3 they’re like an undomesticated dog who needs to be reared in through trial & error, strictness, & punishment.

and you may think… What The Hell are they doing as suguru’s knight then??? 🤔🤨

well if you saw a single knight take down an army of bandits all by their lonesome wouldn’t you be intrigued…? regardless of anything you know that they’re CAPABLE & able to PROTECT. which is the most important thing <3 the perfect duo: a king who already has a screw loose in his head and a knight who never had any screws in their head to begin with <3

basically knight!reader is a fan of the hunt more than anything <3 imagine them walking towards suguru all bloody with a wild glint in their eyes and a massive smirk… suguru for once in his life found someone/something he can’t control…

… but suguru likes a challenge and he likes to tame <3 reader isn’t a brat, they’re just so feral & need to be put on a leash for their own benefit/the benefit of those around them <3 he wants to domesticate this undomesticated dog and train them properly. my knight!reader is the type to submit willingly but only to those they respect.

that’s why the “call off your dog” aspect is so delicious to me……… reader is so feral and violent and always has their fangs bared, their canines sharp & bloodied. and suguru is always holding their leash, ready to draw them back or ready to tell them to “attack.” it’s all based off of suguru’s whims & orders at the end of the day. knight!reader bows only for suguru and suguru alone <3

sidenote suguru & his knight have like . sadomasochistic tendencies . not necessarily Sexual vibes but like……… the knight is quite masochistic & suguru is quite sadistic (to each other… but they love it… another facet of their Sick dark weird devotion towards one another)

and also by dark devotion i mean reader is on their knees with suguru’s knuckles against their lips, the epitome of: “let me kill for you. let me bloody my hands, let me show my love in this way, in a violent way, the only way i know how.” and suguru cradles them like a father would a baby: “let me tame you. i’ll bark out the orders and you’ll follow through. because you devote yourself to me. and because i love you. i will show you my love through control & intense passion, the only way i know how.”

also i have a Certain Scene in my head that ultimately showcases their love for one another and i’ll just say it here bc i don’t think i’m writing this story anytime soon and i know i’ll forget if i don’t write it down 😭 but after a battle or smthn reader comes back bloodied and scarred and for once in his life suguru feels genuine fear. it’s unbecoming of a noble king to carry someone who is Designed to Protect him to his personal bath, but he does so regardless. i think one of the MOST intimate things is to give someone a bath… and he does that. he’s no longer a king and you’re no longer a knight… he’s a worried young man who bandages & bathes you, who needs to take care of his beloved by doting on them oh-so carefully & oh-so softly. it’s almost like a purification process for both of these characters too.

and then suguru sees something on the knight’s body… it looks like a tattoo but it’s a brand (think of sukuna’s markings but along the knight’s stomach & back) suguru then really looks at the knight and realizes that… this person is just so tired. weary. young. they enjoy the hunt but they’ve always existed to serve others, to protect others, to take the punishment so others don’t have to…

i think he gains an extra layer of respect for reader and is almost… sad? i think he thinks abt if they met under different circumstances would they still be tied to one another? had he been a teacher and had reader been a butcher — would the devotion still be there? and then he catches the knight’s eyes staring into his… and he’s positive. 100% certain. no matter the era no matter the circumstance no matter which lifetime they’re in — the intensity of their raw devotion towards one another withstands the test of time. also TRUST the knuckle kisses that the knight gives suguru are soooooo reverent

BUT yeah blah blah blah this sets up the NEXT scene which would be suguru giving reader a hickey in the bath (his own form of branding) and sukuna sees it the next day 😹 like “oh? you took my little rottweiler puppy and made them a refined wolf… good for you.”

i’m all over the place but ESSENTIALLY that’s the gist of it all 😭 there’s SOOOOO much more lore/twists/turns and such the further i think abt the story but omfg……….. you know what maybe i will write this soon 🫡 they’re my beloveds

[magnaflourious-nerdity]

So the ask got deleted accidentally, but @autisticharrywells asked me about SANGYAO for toxic ship bingo, and now that I have forcibly dragged them through all 50 episodes, i can at last go off---- you FOOL! you have fallen directly into my trap!!! Muahahaha

I do not know how I ended up here. I don't know WHY I ended up here, except that I'm some kind of masochist.

Like I was all prepared to be 100% team wangxian otp and read all the fic and shit, and I started out so promising. (And I do love them...) But then. Then. That little demon brought a bird to class. And the other little demon protected him during the Wen thing. The stabbing ?? The warning as Meng Yao was leaving to huaisang DESPITE actively bleeding. The pleading to Mingjue to let Meng Yao stay despite no evidence of Huaisang ever really standing up to question NMJ decisions before like that (esp in front of other clan members) (other than with things like blowing off Sabre practice) THE FAN CLENCH. MY HEART. And THEN they committed their various atrocities during which the no turning back point was hit for them so many times and yet i do believe the remorse was there and so too was some affection still, twisted as it was by time and hatred and isolation and i... I just....I slipped?

There's so much there!!! (and please keep in mind I'm mostly talking from a cql/the untamed perspective, though I have seen the donghua and am aware of book cannon, I just kinda prefer the show as the version I take to heart (with some notable jgy or Huaisang based exceptions bc i'm nothing if not willing to excuse their pretty boy mid-divorce war crimes))

These two have such a deep shared history that spans the entirety of the cannon, and their relationship is extra fascinating on rewatch as you can more clearly track the downward spiral of events.

There's also the tragedy that it COULD have been avoided, was so close to being avoided several times bc JGY is not really EVIL, (any one who says this is being super reductive imo) but he does preserve himself above all other things and people through sheer learned necessity (with the exception of xichen and isn't that also a beautiful part of sangyao tragedy?? That so clearly xichen and JGY were destined to be the tragic counterparts to wwx and lwj's relationship not nhs and jgy? That xichen was the only thing JGY ever sacrificed true parts of himself for, that huaisang knows that he could have done the same for him, but didn't? Because there was too much history with Mingjue to let it go, and also bc the devotion or affection he held for huaisang when they were both on the mountain never surpassed that point. He had too much caution to truly be himself, and Huaisang, I don't think could ever truly see past JGYs status in the way that xichen was able to since he served as his big brother's vice general and also his appointed companion to a degree. ) And where does that leave huaisang? Where he always is. ALONE. On a mountain he never fit in on in the first place. Where does it leave JGY? Stuck in a permanant customer service role to his awful father and branded further untrustable as a spy. Humilated and broken down to the point of just. So much murder. (Some of which I still maintain tain as a public service coughcoughJinGuangShancoughcough)

They are so much alike and yet so different in such key aspects, that I also have to believe they were meant to act as parallels to one another, just like wwx and jgy, or xichen and wangji. The planning and manipulation they both do (in their own ways bc i am in the camp that while huaisang is smarter than the average bear, smarter than he ever wants to let on bc it makes his life easier, he isnt able to truly outpace JGY's ability to craft a situation. What he is good at is manipulating people and social situations, and adapting his outlined plan extremely well on the fly- with the exception of maybe xichen. I dont think he meant to truly hurt xichen like that. I think that was a natural panic that if JGY was allowed to live it would mean Huaisang actually had to die at some point instead, Though I do also think perhaps there is some lingering resentment there that leads to it to bc why is JGY worth pardoning after his crimes to xichen? Doesn't this mean he inherently valued JGY over Mingjue, over Huaisang’s own pain and anguish? (he did, but not maliciously, lans are love blind we know this))

The tragedies of nie huaisang are inextricably linked to the tragedies of jgy and vice versa! Technically, huaisang, as a bastard of the clan leader with one of his concubines, (I think that's right) should be discounted as a noble son, esp considering his weaker nature and lack of talents dictated to be valuable by the standards of the nie clan. He should have the same status really or at least a status more closely similar to jgy who is constatly looked down on because of his mother's position and bastard status, despite his constant hyper competency, as we see so vividly. And yet Huaisang is given title and rank and (some) respect where JGY gets trodden into the mud and shit of life, even as he succeeds in raising the jin clans success through his actions and talents. Meanwhile, huaisang is thought to be a useless leech by others, untalented in the ways of ruling or anything that's deemed an actually respectable skill by clan leader standards. A pathetic little dude who doesn't know how to do anything, and yes, he does get cast as a headshaker in the eyes of the people, but it's never his background thats brought into question as to why he might be failing. It's considered a result of his personality, not his upbringing. And even then he doesn't get shit talked as much as JGY does. Huaisang has all the privilege that JGY was never afforded, and does that color JGYs view a bit? Does it make him just bitter enough that, when combined with his father’s looming threats and taunts, and Mingjue’s inability to ever let anything JGY does go, that he's willing to hurt huaisang in such a way, even just as a byproduct of his mission?

Huaisang’s plan is successful, bc people discount him as incompetent, yes, but also bc they still see him as a noble, as someone of enough inherent value, diminished though it may be, that he weilds that influence even when playing the fool. JGY doesn't get that respect even at his height of his power and competency as a ruler.

They are, neither of them, strong cultivators. But that factor only really affects JGY bc it means he has to fight even harder for acceptance and validation. Huaisang also gets the luxury of CHOOSING not to be a strong cultivator. Because his position in life IS secure, he can slack off. He is allowed to try his hardest to avoid the fate of his family and do his utmost not to cultivate in that manner. Which I think, too, causes some of the resentment. On both sides. Huaisang never has to work a day in his life, has barely any expectations to live up to and still gets the respect Meng Yao is constantly robbed of. And for huaisang- On top of killing his brother via musically-induced, full-bodied rage embolism, JGY is now also the reason that huaisang is thrust into a position he was entirely unprepared for way before he was supposed to be.

And we know, we KNOW that JGY is responsible for so many of Huaisang’s pretty little things. His beloved indulgences granted not by his own brother, but by his doting san-ge. Things that got burned or destroyed by Mingjue simplu for the fact that a) they were from JGY and B) they are not the type of things NMJ cosidereds respectabke hobbies or skills. A large number of his fans and painting supplies are gifts from JGY, and he stood up for and encouraged those hobbies against the person he probably fears the most at that point, Mingjue (even if he's already actively trying to kill him by then). And huaisang seemed genuinely pleased that JGY had found acceptance and was getting what he (thought he) wanted. The friendship and affection was real, just not near strong enough to withstand the crimes of the other.

And oh boy that divorce was rough and bloody and beautiful and tragic and I just love the messy nature of the relationship, how deep and how twisted it went and became. And i think, right up until the very end, JGY didn't truly want to believe that Huaisang was capable of doing this to him, I don't think he ever wanted to hurt huaisang again the way he had to when he killed Mingjue. Use him? Maybe. But not in a malicious way, not by his standards.

I am happy to read any sangyao content I can get, however! I love reading about them as companions on the mountain, growing together, bonding. Maybe young and in love? I love reading the gradual drifting apart. The years they schemed and used each other. The final divorce. And what comes after. Or what could never be. Any content, I will take, and it depends on where in cannon we are that a particular square is filled in.

Jgy had to fight for both acceptance and sheer survival, and huaisang never really had to do either. Except maybe during the ~10 years of the gap when Huaisang had figured him out, but was pretending to be useless to achieve his ends. You could argue the mindset that aside from just avenging his DaGe, he was also concerned about his own survival bc what if he became an Inconvienience instead of just the annoyance he was playing up to be? If he actually stood in Guanyao's way? It would be much easier to take him out than Mingjue, realistically. But what would be that threshold to have JGY actually do anything? Are Huaisang’s histrionics and uselessness useful to him? Or a result of guilty indulgence? Or left over fondness from a ti.e they were so close? Some combo of all? Who can say and I fucking love that uncertainty about them

Saying all that, these two are the poster child for OTP I don't want to end up together in Canon, lol. Unless it's one of the many time travel fix it aus, they simply have too much history and shared issues and rage between them to ever make sense working out. But their stories are so incomplete without the other, they are inexorably linked, and I just think they're neat!

(Please don't come for me cql fans. im sure I've misunderstood or posted an opinion that's utterly debatable on here. But like, also. I'm tired and I love them and I don't care.)

I have more to say about them that you'll probably get to hear at some point when we talk, but for now, they have BROKEN MY BRAIN.

Also, to all my fellow sangyao peeps: please feel free to send fic recs if you want. I am so hungry for the content.

[lesbianoms]

You’re exactly the kind of prey I’d love to have as a meal~ nothing better than girlchyme filling my belly and weighing me down. I just know you’d make the best gurgles and rumbles, and after that, I’ll have the cutest bit of tummy pudge to remember you by ;)

Mmmmm god yes please I need to slowly and loudly melt inside of a ladygut and be fondly remembered and caressed as tummy pudge. Pllleeasssee please let me weigh you down, sloshing around half-digested, moaning contently and softly while your stomach ravishes and loves me <3 🤰

[buglaur]

hey um not to be that guy but do you pretend to put your stardew valley sims for download when you are done with them? they look incredible

i will definitely put them up soon, and thank you 🫂

[bibiana112]

Kinda weird question- do you have any links to people talking about Mira from ZTD and ableist stereotypes? I mentioned that I was uncomfortable with her portrayal but kinda fumbled it and made some other ND people in chat uncomfortable. I searched for various keyword combinations but most of what I'm finding is like "and not to mention the ableism with Mira" and doesn't elaborate lol.

Not weird at all! And uh, you see, there's a recent post I made where what I complain about is the very fact I've never seen anyone post too in-depth about her at all, I'd love to see posts that do elaborate on that but I do not have any that I know of right now, sorry :/ hopefully someone else who sees this can point to one? Okay!! After some tag searches I have found exactly one post who kind of gets into it I like this take still would love to see. more than just one but hooray

And like though I complain I couldn't elaborate much on it myself I don't think, I believe most of the posts people make about Saito from aitsf would apply since it's a different uchikoshi take on the very same trope of "emotionless characters who cannot function without killing others" I guess he's a worse portrayal though since she's at least not stated to get reward brain chemicals when killing people and I guess her case also has the added layer of "femme fatale" to it? Which either makes it less bad or worse depending on where you approach it from As I said I am not doing a good job of being coherent on this oh and also there's her being "redeemed" and "cured" in the epilogue which in on itself is kinda not great to imply it just goes away like that and honestly I personally don't even buy it I think she'd just be like oh okay Akane over here has like a thousand reasons to hate me after all that oh and what's that she's the leader of a super wealthy underground organization who's organized one of these death traps before yeah no I'm better off going to prison I'll be fine there lmao bye

But I'll say as an autistic person with relatively low empathy I usually see a character who just doesn't understand other people's feelings and wants to feel them too and is just trying to survive despite getting no help and I just kinda go hm. yeah. shout-out to roxas kingdom hearts shout out to mary from ib shout out that's why I started hyperfixating on media art helps me with understanding others a great lot and Mira is just in a story too badly executed for me to care or even begin to wrap my head around tbh like god she's so fucking terribly used as a plot device in every conceivable way that it makes it difficult to see past it and into what she could possibly be if it weren't for the stereotype of equalling low empathy with no compassion what's with her killing off screen in ways that wildly deviate from her stated m.o? why or how was she even in cahoots with Zero why was that a thing? Honestly her dynamic with Sean could have been better fleshed out could have done something interesting about robot child and his aspd big sis but we just kind of don't get any attention brought to the subject of emotions and the authenticity there of except for the "reveal"...

YOU KNOW WHAT that's probably one huge reason it feels so fucked up actually! Like the whole fucking game is written so you could experience it in whatever order you want and therefore Mira being a serial killer at all is something that though not very well hidden it also cannot be a topic of discussion or explored Ever ever because the player may not have seen the fragment where that is revealed yet- problem being the menu design of that game sucks so bad and practically everyone gravitates towards the same few more interesting looking thumbnails first and then the rest is kinda just there, I mean that is part of the reason A Lot of characters feel half-baked I think but also I think it definitely does impact perception of her character specifically probably The Most and then there's just the general not being given nuance not being able to see the minutiae of how that disorder manifests in her character aside from the killings about how she acts aside from being overly flirty trying to lure in Eric but that affects pretty much all of the new cast we don't have last names and in her case we barely have any backstory at all like Saito is a harmful stereotype sure but we get So Much Context for him that people still love talking about him and delving into different aspects of his life since we have that very well telegraphed in the narrative meanwhile for Mira all we can do is fill in the blanks guesswork that only highlights the worst aspects of the surface level portrayal we got and ultimately that people just don't care enough to dissect because there isn't much there character wise once you remove it