#fake package

[womanofwords]

Dummy Deliveries

"Sweetie, we have a delivery!" Villain yelled. Hero came downstairs, saw the box and went pale.

"Put that box back," Hero ordered.

Villain's smile faltered. "What?"

"That is the dummy box that I made," Hero said. "I filled up a dummy box and it is supposed to be there for porch pirates. Nothing of value is in that box."

"Oh, I see," Villain said. "And I thought I was the mean one."

"You are, I promise!" Hero giggled.

The two began a watch of the package, checking on it as if it was an infant. It got stolen the very next day, much to their delight.

"Yes, it's gone!" Hero celebrated, hugging Villain.

"Aww, look at you, my little devil child," Villain cooed. "You have a taste for sadism already. I'm so proud of you."

"AAAAAUGH! THIS BOX IS FULL OF DOG POOP AND GARBAGE!" someone yelled from down the street.

"Another satisfied customer," Hero said.

[bixels]

In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.

He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!

You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).

Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!

But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!

[bacchuschucklefuck]

slowly chipping away at a full set of PC illus for ASO because I need something nice to put on the label of these definitely legally acquired DVDs I've got lyin around in my room anyways I got two done so far. marge and sidney

[vhsdogs]

who’s up smoking dog treats? 🍃

[heartnosekid]

goodnight.movie on ig

[kimseokjinn]

[blueskittlesart]

How do you feel about concepts for redeemed/good guy Ganondorf? I don't remember if you've said anything on it before, so I am curious to see what sorts of thoughts you have to share or if you've thought about the idea before (especially since you've worked on SoF so I assume you've thought about many possibilities of a "what if" Zelda game)

For my part: I have mixed feelings, and I think a lot of concepts end up being "I want a buff guy to ship Link with"; I also think a lot of criticisms of the racism in many depictions of Ganondorf have merit (though I don't speak on them in depth because I'm white) and would love to see a more favorable/complex portrayal of him and other characters of color in LoZ. I personally haven't seen many versions of good guy/redeemed Ganondorf that really engage with the base structure of the LoZ games but I would love to see one that did.

Anyways I love your blog and analysis and I love seeing someone who finds analysis as inherently a part of their engagement with fandom as me, it's really nice :) I hope you're having a good day

I never posted about it much but sof did actually have a somewhat redeemed ganondorf, or as close to "good guy" as i'm willing to go with him in my own writing. sof was/is very much about me exploring the religious aspects of the lore and issues of fate vs self-determination, so my ganondorf was a much younger version of the character (similar in age to link and zelda) born into an extremist hylia-worshipping doomsday cult. in sof, ganondorf finds the remains of DEMISE'S sword and believes it to be the master sword, so when it starts ordering him around he follows the orders without question, believing that he's hearing the voice of hylia, and basically everyone in his life affirms to him that this is the correct choice and he's hylia's chosen one. Because of the intensity of the religious doctrine he was raised with, he has no problem following the sword's orders even when they become progressively more and more violent, and by the time link and zelda get to him he's nearly past the point of no return. (this is also partially a product of the setting I chose to put sof in--it's one of if not the first cycles after sksw, so the hyruleans' understanding of the reincarnation cycle and their own general history isn't super solid.) So that's my personal take on a "good guy" ganondorf, and, i think, the way i'd like to see it done in canon if ever they choose to go that route--because loz deals so much with the concepts of fate and cycles, I think leaning into a ganondorf who isn't inherently evil but can't escape the fate that waits for him is a fun way to take it.

[aestheticsoftheinternet]

Pizza Cookie Stimboard

Requested by: @cinnamontherabbit <3

x-x-x x-o-x x-x-x

[clnclm]

[deadboystims]

packaging an order - credit if used

nsfw , radqueers , terfs , proship dni / do not use

[intotheelliwoods]

oh the urge to make and sell custom little 2al sticker sheets is so strong...

[beesfurbyblog]

his name is tomato paste and i love him very much

[redcomet-stims]

Can you do a melanies milk of the siren stimboard? Its a animation on youtube i like

Of course! I hope this is the right one ^^

🌊❤️‍🔥⛵ "Melanie's Milk of the Siren" (animation by Sagpi) stimboard for anon :3

Thank you for your request, and I hope that you like this! I watched the animation, and I thought it was AMAZING??! I really liked the style, and how much thought and work was put into it-I don't know how to describe it, but I liked it. And also, this song is so good. I have never listened to it before (or at least I don't think I have), but I'm glad I have now 😋😋 I tried to capture both the visuals of the video and how it made me feel/the vibes it gave off, and I hope it's good! :3

Sources:

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[greentrickster]

Me going into this weekend: Well, it's time for the local anime convention, the one that I've been preparing for since December and worked super hard so I'd have lots of mage plushies in the store I sell them at downtown, all ready for excited anime fans to buy them!

This weekend: Protesters gridlock downtown on Saturday (aka, the Busy Day, aka the Profitable Day) because they can't handle the concept of a drag queen doing story time for kids at the library, someone escalates this to a very effective bomb threat that's fortunately fake but still forces local shops to close and the reading to be cancelled for the sake of safety, it pours rain, and is the coldest weekend we've had all month to boot. All the shops and the downtown farmer's market that brought in extra stock and produce in preparation for what is traditionally a very profitable weekend for local businesses due to exploring convention members are left in the lurch.

Me, now: (lying in my bed trying to console myself with humour) ...this did not go according to keikaku.*

*keikaku means plan

[vhsdogs]

𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘢𝘴𝘵 - 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 !

[jacarandaaaas]

moment of silence for the madrigal grandkids who most definitely never have had a “sick day” for school 💀