#existential writing
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
dearestaeneas · 2 years ago
Text
On Humanity
Here are some things I know:
I am in the house.
I have always been in the house.
The house has always been here, and will be here long after I am decidedly Not.
Here are some things I do not know:
I do not know if this house belongs to me.
I do not know if I am alone.
I do not know if the house protects me.
Whatever the intentions of the house, I am provided for and I suppose this is a kind of protection. I do not feel protected. But I suppose you do not need to feel something for it to be true.
There are mirrors in the house. I do not like them. They reflect off one another and extend the hallways by miles. When I pass them, they throw my image back at me, millions of me’s, filling the hallways that extend for miles. I do not think I feel afraid until I see myself, find the terror planted in my eyes, the irises tiny in a sea of wide white. My skin is pale, a thin layer of sweat coating it. I do not think I feel afraid until I see myself.
But there is no danger here. The hallways are long and extend for miles, and my eyes are huge with horror, but I am not in danger here. There is no danger here.
I am tired most days. I do not keep track of where in the house I go. The effort is not worth it. The house changes constantly, one day huge and white, each surface a smooth limestone. It is cold those days. But other days it is something like a home, with soft couches and carpets on hardwood flooring, with a handsome wooden staircase with a polished bannister. The wood is unmistakably brown, but there is a redness to it, something warm. If they were eyes, you’d swear they could glow in the right light.
I like when it is cozy here. I like when the wood reminds me of something I cannot place. I do not like the limestone. I do not like the way the light reflects off the smooth white slabs, the way the air feels dusty. I do not know how the house knows how I feel, keeping me in the limestone version of itself until I cannot take it a moment longer. When that happens, I sleep in that cold white place and wake to find myself in the warm, comfortable house, with its red-tinged browns and soft fabrics.
I remember when I realized this. I woke to that wonderful place, and stayed for what I imagined to be weeks. The house must have known I felt better. The next morning I found myself back in that terrible place. ‘Despair’ is not a strong enough word for what I felt. Such a process repeated a few times before I made the connection.
I tried to trick the house once. Tried to emphasize my agony, hoping it would see my pain and alleviate it. I must have been too obvious. I stayed in the limestone halls for months. I wept on that unforgiving ground, my mind crumbling. The house was indifferent. I felt it was punishing me for forgetting my place. I have not made that mistake since.
I don’t speak often. There is no one to speak to. I suppose I could speak to the house, but that feels wrong. It feels incorrect. It feels…shameful. I’ve tried before. The worst part is that I felt like someone was listening.
But I am alone in this place, with its limestone and its carpets, its couches and its mirrors.
Some things I used to say when I still spoke:
“Is anyone there?”
“Can you hear me?”
“Hello?”
I said other things, of course. Not a lot that did any good. Not a lot worth mentioning. I used to worry that if I didn’t speak, didn’t have some proof I still existed, I would go mad. I have been proven wrong. Sometimes I pray for it. Sometimes I think it would make this life easier. I’m wrong, of course. But it’s easy to imagine a better alternative when you know it will never come.
What a fascinating thing. I’ve learned a lot about humanity in my time here. Things I know: I am stuck here. And yet, I still find hope. Hope that one day I will Not be Stuck Here. Another thing I know: That will not happen.
And yet, still I hope. How fascinating. Is it easier to learn about people when you’re in a sea of them, or once they’ve finally become an endangered species? Am I an endangered species?
I’ve described trials to you. I’ve described suffering. This is unfair: there have been joys, too. I find comfort in being alone, even if that comfort is sometimes the bad kind. I find beauty in the limestone, satisfaction in the way my shoes tap and click on its surface. I have laid on those cold slabs on hot days and lost hours in my relaxation.
When I still spoke, I would sing. I especially liked how my voice bounced off the cavernous halls. It has been a long time since I sang. I imagine I used to know songs, but the words have left me. I am not distressed by this: their passing was natural, gradual. The melodies remain, even today. I catch myself humming.
I do not love the house, but I do not hate it. Its cruelty is constant, even in its kindness. Its kindness is constant, even in its cruelty. I do not think it knows what it is doing. Would it be unfair to hold that against it? I have learned much about humanity from myself, but I do not know very much about being a house.
I curse the cold, bone-white stone. I curse it for its indifference to my pain as much as I bless it for its constancy in my life. I bless the polished redwood. I bless it for its warmth as much as I curse it for its evanescence.
I’ve since learned how the house decides it is time for my reprieve from the limestone. I cannot fake it. I cannot make my eyes huge, cannot falsify the fear and exhaustion and desperation in them. I cannot intentionally drown my irises in a sea of white to match my pallid skin.
This is my first morning back in the limestone halls. I have rested. I have slept and ate and enriched myself in whatever meager ways I can find in a place where no one else breathes. Color has returned to my skin, my irises have returned to dominate my eyes.
For the time being.
I take the time to appreciate seeing color in my face. I would be a fool not to. The limestone is at its most beautiful when there is something contrasting against it. It has been a long time. I have almost forgotten, but my body has not. My body remembers the unmistakable brown of my eyes. There is a redness to them. Warm.
‘Almost.’
It’s a funny word.
I have almost forgotten.
28 notes · View notes
lucidloving · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
D. Alan Holmes, Enlightenment // Signet Amenti // @cryptonature // Alan Wilsom Watts // Evan M. Cohen, "Oceans" // Nikita Gill // @pauladoodles // Julian Gough, "Minecraft End Poem" // Sleeping At Last—Saturn
7K notes · View notes
speedyphilosopherpanda · 7 months ago
Text
Don't ask me who I am. I'm a stranger, even to my own name.
2K notes · View notes
flwrkid14 · 8 days ago
Text
Ghosts of Gotham: Tim Drake is a Halfa
Danny wasn’t exactly sure what he expected when he met Gotham’s infamous vigilantes, but “Red Hood smells like death and swamp water had a baby” definitely wasn’t on the list. The moment he stepped into the room, Danny gagged so hard he nearly fell out of the air.
“Holy Ancients,” he wheezed, covering his nose. “What in the name of all things unholy is that?”
Jason, already not thrilled about the random glowing stranger showing up, tilted his helmeted head. “What’s what?”
“That! You! You smell like—oh, man. I can’t even describe it.” Danny waved his hand in front of his face like it might help. “It’s like if ectoplasm went rancid and then you rolled in it for three days straight. Dude, do you know what’s going on with your ecto-situation?”
Jason took a threatening step forward. “You wanna say that again?”
Danny floated higher, clearly not intimidated. “Oh, I’ll say it again. You stink. And not just like regular stink. Like ghost stink. Like, ‘this is a health code violation, and the Ghost Zone is going to fine you’ stink. How are you even standing there right now? Anyone from Amity Park would be side-eyeing you so hard you’d feel it in your soul—what’s left of it, anyway.”
Jason stared, his body language radiating murderous intent. “You are two seconds away from eating pavement, Casper.”
Danny, unbothered, pointed at his own chest. “Excuse me, Phantom. Casper wishes he could pull this look off.”
“Phantom,” Dick interrupted, trying and failing not to laugh, “maybe we could focus on the introductions first?”
Danny gave Jason one last look of pity and floated down. “Fine, fine. But seriously, Big Red, we’re going to have to talk about that. I’ll fix it later. No need to thank me.”
Jason looked ready to commit murder, but Bruce’s glare cut him off before he could say anything.
Once the chaos settled, introductions were exchanged, and things calmed down—relatively speaking. Danny, as it turned out, was impossible to fully calm down. He buzzed around the room like he had endless energy, chatting and throwing out quips that seemed to simultaneously amuse and irritate everyone.
Then Danny’s gaze landed on Red Robin, and everything shifted.
Danny tilted his head, his glowing green eyes narrowing slightly. For a moment, his usual chaos quieted, curiosity taking over. “Huh,” he said softly, almost to himself.
Tim stiffened, his body going taut as though preparing for impact.
Danny floated closer, peering at him with an unnervingly intense expression. “You’re like me.”
Tim’s heart skipped a beat, and he immediately stepped back, his movements sharp and jerky. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do,” Danny said, and his tone was too soft for the others to hear the shift in it. “You’re like me. You’re—”
Tim’s hand twitched at his side, as though debating whether to reach for something or retreat entirely. “Don’t,” he said sharply, his voice low.
Danny blinked, then realization dawned on his face. “Wait… they don’t know, do they?”
“What don’t we know?” Bruce cut in, his voice sharp with suspicion.
Danny ignored him, his gaze locked on Tim. “Oh, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
Tim’s eyes darted toward Danny, his frown deepening as uncertainty clouded his features. He shifted his weight, his fingers twitching at his sides as if fighting the urge to bolt.
He took a step back, then another, his movements slow and almost imperceptible. His breathing quickened, shallow and uneven, as though the air itself had grown heavier. The space around him seemed to shimmer faintly, a distortion that matched the anxiety rippling across his face.
Danny reached out, concern etched in his expression, but Tim flinched. His lips parted as if to say something, but no words came. Instead, the shimmering intensified, and with each passing second, Tim grew more translucent, his form fading like a mirage under the moon.
By the time Danny blinked, Tim was gone, leaving only a faint disturbance in the air where he had been.
The bats froze, their eyes darting around the room.
“What the hell just happened?” Jason demanded, reaching for his guns. “Where’d he go?”
“Did you do something?” Damian snapped at Danny, his hand already on his katana.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Danny held up his hands, his eyes wide with excitement. “Not me! That was all him! Holy Ancients—he can turn invisible?!” A grin split his face as he practically vibrated in place. “This is awesome! Wait—does he shoot ecto-beams too? Or, oh, what if he’s got some crazy transformation I’ve never even seen before? This just keeps getting better!”
Bruce’s expression darkened. “You need to explain. Now.”
Danny sighed, his excitement fading as realization set in. “Okay, but first, I need to go find him. Because if he’s anything like me, he’s probably freaking out right now. So… bye!”
He phased through the floor before anyone could stop him.
———
Danny found Tim perched on the edge of Wayne Industries, staring out at the Gotham skyline. He floated over cautiously, his boots touching down softly on the rooftop.
“Hey,” Danny said, his voice quiet. “Mind if I sit?”
Tim didn’t respond, but he didn’t tell him to leave either, so Danny took that as permission. He sat down cross-legged, giving Tim some space.
They stayed like that for a while, the silence heavy but not unbearable.
Finally, Danny broke it. “Okay, so… not to ruin the moment, but can we talk about how you've had to endure Jason’s ecto-stench this entire time? Because seriously, that’s gotta be a health violation. I mean, I'm half-dead, and even I think it’s concerning. Someone needs to dunk him in a pool of purified ectoplasm or something. I’m gonna file a complaint with—”
Tim laughed. It was soft and brief, but it was real.
Danny grinned, leaning back on his hands. “There it is. I knew you had a laugh in there somewhere.”
Tim sighed, his shoulders loosening slightly. “You’re… a lot,” he admitted.
“I know,” Danny said proudly. “But I grow on people. Like mold. Or fungus.”
Tim huffed another laugh, shaking his head. For a moment, the tension eased, and Danny let the silence settle again before speaking more seriously.
“Look,” Danny said, his voice softer, “I’m sorry I outed you like that. I didn’t know. And if they give you crap about it, I’ll personally make their lives miserable. But… you’re not alone in this, okay? I mean, yeah, it sucks. A lot. But you’ve got me now, because there’s no way we’re not becoming best friends now, and I get it.”
Tim looked at him, his eyes glassy but steady. “Thanks,” he said quietly. He hesitated, his gaze dropping to the floor. “Do you really get it? I mean, you know what it’s like to…” His voice trailed off, thick with hesitation.
Danny tilted his head, his tone softer now. “Yeah. I know what it’s like.”
Tim let out a breath, shaky but determined. “I died.. a few months ago.”
Danny blinked but didn’t say anything, giving Tim space to continue.
“Harley—she caught me. Took me, actually. I was gone for weeks. They—she—handed me over to Joker. It was like a… gift. She thought it’d fix their relationship or something, I don’t know.” Tim’s voice faltered, his gaze flickering to the floor as if the memories were too much to hold. “I held out as long as I could. I kept fighting, kept trying to survive, but…”
He shook his head, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. “Weeks of it. Beatings. Electrocutions. I don’t even remember the exact moment my heart stopped. I just… wasn’t there anymore.”
Danny stayed quiet, his face a mix of empathy and understanding.
“Harley panicked,” Tim continued, his words tumbling out like a confession. “She thought she’d gone too far, that Joker would kill her next. So she tried shocking me back. Guess she half-suceeded? I only came back halfway.” He gestured at himself vaguely, his hands trembling. “I’m not the same. I’m not… whole.”
Danny nodded slowly. "You’re stuck between," he said, offering the words with quiet reassurance.
Tim nodded, biting his lip. “Yeah. Between.” He paused, looking up at Danny. “I haven’t told anyone because… how do you tell them something like that? How do you tell your family you’re not really alive? That their search was all in vain? That I still died, even though they looked so hard for me? I can’t make them think they failed.” His voice wavered. “They were so scared when they found me…”
Danny stayed with him in the silence, his presence a steady comfort.
Tim exhaled slowly, rubbing his face. “I thought I was weak. I thought if I told them what really happened, they’d think I was broken. And I didn’t want to be a burden.” He looked up at Danny. “I’m still not used to this. Not used to being… like this. I don’t even know how to control it—sometimes I phase through walls, other times I get stuck halfway. And the invisibility thing… I can’t even make it work without disappearing when I get too emotional.”
Danny’s gaze softened with understanding as he leaned in slightly, his voice steady but gentle. He hummed thoughtfully, “It’s a lot to handle all at once.”
Tim's shoulders slumped as he leaned closer to Danny, “I’ve been trying to figure out how to control it, but every time I get close, something goes wrong. And I didn’t want anyone to think I was weak or… freakish, so I kept pretending everything was fine. It was easier that way. Easier than explaining… all this.” He exhaled slowly, the exhaustion in his voice evident. “At least it was… until you showed up.”
Danny reached out, resting a hand on Tim’s arm in a quiet gesture of comfort. “I don’t think you’re a freak. You’re just different, like me. But that doesn’t make you broken. You’re still you.” He paused, meeting Tim’s gaze. “I know what it’s like.. to feel different, freakish, the whole nine yards. For what it’s worth? You're handling it a lot better than I did.”
Tim gave him a tight smile, the first real one in a while. “Thanks. It helps. More than you know.”
———
When they returned to the Batcave, Tim sat down with the others, Danny sticking close by his side. Tim took a deep breath and told them everything—about being captured by Harley, the weeks of torture at the Joker’s hands, the electrocutions that had stopped his heart. About how Harley had panicked and shocked him back to life, halfway. How he wasn’t entirely human anymore.
The family listened, their expressions ranging from horror to guilt to anger. Jason looked ready to kill someone, and Bruce’s usually stoic face betrayed a crack of regret. Tim hesitated as he explained why he hadn’t told them sooner, his voice faltering but honest.
Tim’s voice cracked slightly as he spoke, “I didn’t want you to think you failed… that you searched for me for nothing,"
Danny stayed quiet but stayed close, resting a hand on Tim’s shoulder. “For the record,” he said, glaring at the others, “if any of you give him crap about this, you’re gonna have to deal with me. And trust me, I will make your lives miserable.”
Tim gave him a small, grateful smile. For the first time, he didn’t feel quite so alone.
735 notes · View notes
amicus-noctis · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
4K notes · View notes
rooolt · 3 months ago
Text
I will admit as a lesbian on the internet that sometimes lesbians on the internet will see two women barely interact and then ship them (which totally cool and correct of them to do). That is NOT what is happening with Trudy and Kelsey those women have layers of homosexuality going on to the point that I am convinced the ghost of a dead lesbian teacher from the 50s has possessed Matthew Arnold and is speaking through him without his knowledge. I hope that Trudy and Kelsey figure it all out and kill Tucker and end up having a wonderful life with their newly acquired murderson Francis Farnsworth. And Freddie’s there too I guess
644 notes · View notes
tendermimi · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
Søren Kierkegaard, Diaries 1813-1855
12K notes · View notes
hamoodmood · 4 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
690 notes · View notes
urmomswifesworld · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
otaku553 · 10 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Procrastination doodles of sabo for the king sabo au :)
502 notes · View notes
nightwonder7 · 9 days ago
Text
Norton would think being feared is the same thing as being respected. And it would take him a while to understand the difference between the two. So when he becomes Fool's Gold, he thinks he has finally gotten the respect he deserves, when in reality he is just being feared. It doesn't dawn on him until much later that this isn't what he wanted. This isn't the kind of "respect" he actually desired.
119 notes · View notes
dearestaeneas · 2 years ago
Text
Listen: John Dearheart is dead. No one knows how it happened, but there are theories. Whispers.
He was murdered.
He committed suicide.
There was an issue with his car’s exhaust.
He dropped where he stood and his cat ate him.
None of these are true. He doesn’t even have a cat.
The truth is this: John Dearheart is dead, and it doesn’t really matter how it happened.
Death, with the face of a little brunette white girl, maybe around age 12, explained this to John. He nodded every so often.
“How did it happen?” he asks.
“You don’t care,” Death replies.
“Why don’t I care?” he asks.
“Not like you can do anything about it,” Death replies.
John supposes this is true.
“Will I go to Heaven?” he asks.
“Do you deserve to?” Death replies.
John Dearheart considers this a moment. “I probably could have been better but I definitely could have been worse.”
“That’s common.”
“Will I go to Hell?” he asks.
“I didn’t know you were Catholic,” Death replies.
“Not really,” John says. “I was raised it but I don’t know if anything stuck.”
“That’s common.”
“Am I a ghost?” he asks.
Death shrugs. “Technically. Do you want to be one?”
“Will it be like the cartoons?” He sounds hopeful.
“I don’t know what those are,” Death replies.
“Oh.”
John pauses. “Maybe you’d like them.”
“Cartoons?” Death asks.
“Yeah,” John replies.
Death appears to consider this a moment.
“Do I get to pick my afterlife?” John asks suddenly.
Death smiles.
John Dearheart, taking this non-answer for an answer, offers a hand out to Death.
Death, disguised-but-not-really as a little girl, furrows their brow. This has never happened before,
no matter how many times John Dearheart dies.
“Then let’s go find out.”
8 notes · View notes
nanenna · 11 months ago
Text
Title: The Parent Trap Fandoms: Batman (DC Comics) and Danny Phantom Ships: None AUs: Demon Twins Warnings: Character injury, discussions of death.
Summary: It was just an ordinary night on patrol until...
“We need an evac,” Dick said, cutting the chatter off, “bird down.”
“Spoiler, you’re the closest to the cave. Nightwing, who’s with you?” Barb asked, “And how bad is the injury?”
“Robin,” Dick replied with some confusion before adding on with confidence, “a leg injury, we’re pretty sure it’s broken.”
“Robin?” Tim couldn’t help blurting out, looking over at Damian next to him, perched on his bike in full Robin costume. “But here’s right here, with me.”
---
Damian had been acting strange for the week or so. Rather, Robin had been acting strange for the last week. Not many people actually lived full time in the manor anymore, but everyone agreed that during the day he was his usual self. During patrols, however, he was simply a little… off. Like tonight for instance: Batman was away from Gotham on official Justice League business and Nightwing had agreed to cover his usual patrol route; normally Robin would tag along with Nightwing, giving the excuse that he needed to make sure Dick did the route correctly while everyone knew the demon brat really just wanted to spend more time with his favorite brother. But tonight…
“I will be joining you on your case, Drake.”
“You will?” Tim asked skeptically. Dick had already suited up and left, yet instead of scrambling to go catch up here Damian was, already all suited up, demanding to join Tim of all people.
“You are doing a stake out for street racers, correct? What will you do when they inevitably split to lose you?”
He sadly had a point, having someone else there would help. “Are you going to stab me?”
Robin didn't say anything, simply stood there and stared Tim down.
After standing there for a full minute, Tim sighed and headed for the vehicle bay, Robin hot on his heels. Without another word they donned helmets and slung legs over their bikes. Weird, but not unheard of, just another thing that was a little off. Not that Tim was entirely unhappy, he wanted a chance to observe Damian’s behavior. Even if he thought Dick was more likely to get Damian to open up.
And Tim was bored. The first half of patrol was quiet and uneventful, the street racers hadn’t shown up at their usual time/place yet, and Damian hadn’t said a damn thing the whole night. It’d just been the two of them riding around, not finding anything that needed their attention, and just being… normal. At least the usual chatter from the others was there to keep him company.
“We need an evac,” Dick said, cutting the chatter off, “bird down.”
There was a moment of silence.
“Spoiler, you’re the closest to the cave. Nightwing, who’s with you?” Barb asked, “And how bad is the injury?”
“Robin,” Dick replied with some confusion before adding on with confidence, “a leg injury, we’re pretty sure it’s broken.”
“Robin?” Tim couldn’t help blurting out, looking over at Damian next to him, perched on his bike in full Robin costume. “But here’s right here, with me.” The shadows around them grew deeper, seemed to sharpen.
“What? No, I’m looking right at him.”
“Well so am I!” 
“I’ve got your cams up and… well shit,” Barb murmured.
“Oracle,” Damian? Robin? Some imposter? said into the quiet comms, a hand up to his helmet, “send me Nightwing’s location.”
“Robin,” Oracle started, only to be interrupted.
“We’re in sector 36,” Damian? Robin? Some imposter? replied, going so far as to give longitude and latitude coordinates and a description of the building roof they’re on.
“Copy that,” Damian? Robin? Some imposter? said before revving his bike’s engine and taking off.
Tim would never admit to nearly losing him due to sheer shock. Too busy screaming “What the fuck” in his own head to remember he needed to follow, but follow he did. This… this might explain Damian’s strange behavior over the past couple weeks. If there was an imposter running around with them, but they would have surely noticed, right?
“We can’t have everyone abandoning their patrols!” Barb said in clear frustration. Heard clearly because the chatter was still gone, nothing but dead silence. You would think everyone would be demanding answers, peppering the Robins with non-stop questions. Hell, Tim wanted to, but he was too busy keeping his bike under him as he chased after his Robin.
“Red Robin and I are on motorcycles,” Damian? Robin? Some imposter? told Barb, “which means we have the small vehicle first aid kits, including analgesics, splints, and extra bandages.”
“We could use the splints,” Dick said faintly.
“And doing first aid before evac arrives means less time faffing about once Spoiler arrives.”
Tim nearly crashed, barely righting his bike. To hear Damian’s voice say “faffing about” was just… weird. Does that mean Tim’s Robin was the imposter?
“You all are faffing about right now,” Damian? Robin? Some imposter? grumbled before hissing.
“Stay still,” Dick chided.
Okay, so maybe “faffing” was a phrase Damian had recently learned from a classmate or something, Tim sure didn’t know. And oh thank god, they must have arrived. Damian? Robin? Some imposter? was parked on the sidewalk, helmet already off and just pulling the field kit from the bike’s storage. He didn’t even spare Tim a glance, simply looked up at the very tall building, looked down at his grapple, shrugged, put the grapple away, and then lifted off the ground and into the air.
“Shit,” Tim said softly but with feeling.
“What?” Barb asked, clearly very tense.
“I think my Robin was the imposter, he just flew up the building. Like Kryptonian flew.” Is this Jon? Were he and Damian pulling a Bruce and Clark? Except it couldn’t be, Jon had started packing on muscles while Damian was still in the lanky growing-taller-before-filling-out stage.
“Really, akhi?” Damian? Robin? Some imposter? asked in exasperation.
“Hey, the jig is well and truly up at this point,” Damian? Robin? Some imposter? replied.
Okay, that was really weird to hear in Damian’s voice. And oh wait, maybe Tim should get up there too.
“Oh shit, there really is two of them!” Dick said in shock. “Uh… hello there… other Robin?”
“Hello Nightwing, I brought the kit. I…” Damian paused, then sighed into the comm, “akhi, what did you do?”
Damian tsked, “Nothing for you to worry about.”
“Your leg is broken!” Damian yelled.
“Did you see that with your x-ray vision?” Damian asked.
“Contrary to popular belief, I’m not Kryptonian,” Damian replied. “I don’t have x-ray vision.”
“Sure sound Kryptonian,” Tim muttered under his breath. The Robin that flew had slipped into a faint Midwestern drawl that reminded him of Clark.
“Can you just give me the kit?” Dick asked both warily and wearily.
“Right, yes. Here.” 
Tim had made it onto the roof by that point, just in time to watch one of the Robins hand over the kit to Nightwing before kneeling next to the other Robin, who had his leg stretched out in front of him while he sat half propped up on his elbows. The laying down Robin (the real one? The one that hasn’t shown any meta powers yet, anyway. Is one of them the real Robin or were they both imposters?) let himself fall fully on his back and held a hand out. The meta(?) Robin kneeled next to him and took his hand. “You’re going to be okay.”
“I am more worried about you, you’re not used to this.”
“Yeah, normally I’m the only one getting hurt, and I usually don’t have bones when that happens.” Imposter Robin laughed at that.
“What the fuck?” Tim said under his breath, what does that mean?
“Focus,” Dick chided as Tim came to join him in tending to Damian’s(?) injury.
“Batcopter ETA five minutes,” Barb said. “Agent A has the medbay prepped.”
Imposter Robin flinched at that. Odd.
“Focus,” Dick hissed. “Save the mystery for after we get our downed bird home.”
Tim almost pointed out they couldn't be sure either Robin was even the real one, but a scathing look from Dick that burned even through the domino white outs had Tim snapping his mouth shut. Instead he nodded and set about helping Dick set and splint Robin's leg.
Steph arrived right on time, between Dick, imposter Robin, and Tim they got the real(?) Robin loaded onto the batcopter. Then the imposter pulled something from his costume and tossed it at Dick.
“Keys?” Dick asked.
“We gotta get Robin's bike back to the cave somehow.” He hopped into the batcopter and settled next to the injured Robin.
Dick held out the keys, “And as Robin shouldn’t-”
“No,” the imposter interrupted. “I’m not leaving him.”
Seems it was Tim’s turn to be the voice of reason. He put a hand on Dick’s shoulder, “Robin trusts him, we’ll meet them back at the cave in a minute.” If the injured Robin even was the real Damian, if the imposter didn’t use his unknown powers to escape, if any slew of unpredictable situations. Holy hell, Tim could see why Bruce was so paranoid about knowing everything about everyone. He’d be in the middle of three panic attacks and an existential crisis on top of a heart attack if he were here right now. But he wasn’t, thankfully. Instead Tim pulled Dick away from the batcopter so Steph could take back off and head to the cave.
Soon Dick and Tim were on their respective bikes, Nightwing looking ridiculous on Robin’s candy apple red paint job, and were zooming through the streets at a pace that was while fast still gave Tim time to actually think. He went back over everything the two Robins had said since Nightwing had called in for an evac. And then it hit him.
“Akhi.”
“What about it?” Dick asked.
“It’s what they called each other.”
“Brother,” Cass added in her soft voice.
“Right, in Arabic. They called each other brother. And recently Robin told us about his twin brother.”
“Are you telling us that Robin’s twin brother came back from the dead and decided to just… join us on patrol?” Dick asked in disbelief.
“He told us several weeks ago, and has been acting odd on patrol for nearly two weeks now. If when he told us was when he found out, or at least started planning this, then they had a few weeks for Robin to give his twin a crash course on us before pulling this stunt.”
There was muffled laughter in the comms, but Tim wasn’t sure who.
“But why?” Oracle asked.
“A prank?” Dick asked.
“A test of some kind,” Tim said in a monotone. There was a double tap on the comm, Cass’s form of nonverbal agreement.
“The batcopter has arrived back at the cave,” Oracle informed them. Everyone else grew quiet, waiting for whatever was about to happen to happen.
“... -nk went too far,” Damian (or his twin?) was saying into the comm.
“TT, it did not,” Damian replied.
“You couldn’t taste their emotions,” okay that was the twin, and what a weird way to phrase that, “they were really scared.”
“You like the taste of fear.”
Wow, Damian, really not helping with how creepy your long dead twin is being.
“Well yeah, obviously, it’s delicious. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to go around purposefully scaring your family.”
Fear is delicious?!
“What does it matter? As you said, ‘the jig is up’ and the prank is over. We will have to explain ourselves when the others arrive.”
“Others like me?” Steph asked cheerfully.
“Great, time for the great bat interrogation,” the twin said with exactly zero enthusiasm.
“Not until Master Damian has been seen to,” Alfred said. Tim could just see the raised eyebrow.
Tim tuned the rest out as those actually in the cave set about the logistics of getting Damian moved to the medbay.
“He can taste fear?” Tim asked incredulously.
“You know as much as the rest of us,” Dick said back.
“Does that make him an empath? He said he’s not Kryptonian, would that make his power suite closer to a Marian? Wait, neither Talia nor Bruce have the meta gene, how’d he even get powers?”
“Maybe he got them from the Lazarus Pits?”
There was a snort in the comms, “Then why didn’t I get powers?”
“Hood? What’re you doing on our comms?” Dick sounded far too delighted.
“I have an alert set up for whenever your chatter stops, it’s always a bad sign.”
“Fair enough, you heading to the cave to meet the demon brat’s long lost twin?”
There was a scoff from Jason, “Of course!”
“Everyone’s headed for the cave,” Oracle said with a tone of defeat.
“Stuck in ops?” Dick asked.
“Well someone has to keep an ear on things while the rest of you get to go have fun.”
“We’ll keep our comms on.”
“You don’t have a choice.”
Tim and Dick both laughed at that. Fortunately they arrived back at the cave at that point, quickly parking their bikes and all but running over to the medbay. Steph was standing just outside the door, clearly keeping an eye on things while Alfred and the twin fussed over Damian. Tim and Dick went to go join Steph at the door, none of them willing to risk Alfred’s wrath should they get in his way. Cass joined them shortly after, all four staring as Alfred finished up what he could do for Damian. The demon brat was laid out on a medical cot, his costume set to the side, down to just the thin layer worn under the armor, mask already removed.
“Leslie has been called, she’ll be here in the morning with the necessary supplies. I’m afraid you will have to remain here until then, Master Damian.”
Damian tsked, but otherwise said nothing.
“And now I do believe we are all owed an explanation.” Alfred turned ever so slightly as his attention turned to Damian’s twin.
Damian responded by struggling in his bed.
“What are you doing, akhi?” the twin asked, clearly exasperated.
“I will be sitting up for this,” Damian snarled.
Without a word Alfred handed Damian the bed’s controls, allowing him to slowly raise himself into a reclined sitting position. Alfred raised a brow as if to ask if that would do, Damian only glowered at the wall.
The twin started pulling his domino off. Damian tsked yet again and handed his twin a wipe to help pull the mask off. “Ancients,” the twin said, which Dick mouthed in confusion, “you lot sure do love your theming. And I thought the ghosts had it bad.”
“Ghosts?” Tim mouthed, exchanging quick, confused glances with Dick.
“So yeah, hi. I’m Danny, Damian’s long lost twin.” The twin, now known as Danny, said with a little wave after he got the domino off. And there was no denying that he was Damian’s twin, he had Damian’s face in every feature save his eyes. While Damian clearly had Talia’s eyes, Danny’s were all Bruce.
“Everyone, this is my brother, Danyal Al Ghul Wayne.”
“Legally not my name anymore.”
“Legally?” Tim asked.
“Yeah, I got adopted!” Danny grinned again, all sunshine and cheer that was so wrong when he had Damian’s face.
Tim snorted, Bruce’s kid had been adopted. Oh things just got complicated but the irony of Brucie being on the other end of a kid getting adopted was still a fun kind of irony. Or maybe Tim had gotten to the everything-is-hilarious stage of sleep depravation.
“So what is your legal name?” Dick asked.
“Um… I’m not sure I should tell you that.” Danny fidgeted nervously. “Not yet anyway. I mean, Bruce… uh… our father? Isn’t here and like… shouldn’t he be told? Too? Or first? Honestly I’d rather just be able to tell everyone at the same time rather than having to go over the whole thing every time someone new walks in the door.”
As if he had timed it to happen that way, Jason came roaring into the cave on his bike. There was a collective sigh as everyone crowding around the outside of the door knew they’d have to wait for Jason to get there before things could continue, even if he had been listening in along with Oracle on his way in.
Danny’s face lit up as Jason, still wearing his full Red Hood gear, came into view. He whooped and threw both hands in the air as he ran out the door, somehow not even touching any of the vigilantes crowded in the way.
Jason stopped dead, his own hands raised up halfway in front of him as if unsure what to do. Danny just slapped both of Jason’s with his own in a kind of low five, then bounced excitedly in place. “Undead solidarity, yeah!”
“Uh… what?” Jason’s modulated voice asked in its usual monotone.
“I’ve been dying to meet you!”
“Heh, have you? Were you dead set on meeting the best?”
Damian groaned, “Stop encouraging Danyal’s insipid sense of humor.”
“Yeah, you’re the best!” Danny continued as if Damian hadn’t said a thing, “My favorite new brother!”
Dick gasped and clutched his chest.
Jason pointed at him and laughed as he slung an arm over Danny’s shoulders. “I see you are a kid of taste. How do you feel about Jane Austen.”
Danny winced, “My dude, I’m a guy in high school.”
“And so was I once, but we can’t all have my impeccable taste.” He started walking Danny back over to the medbay. “Anyway, Bruce shouldn’t be back until tomorrow afternoon, we really going to wait that long for the whole story?”
Danny winced, then cursed quietly under his breath. “We’ll have to, something just came up.”
Everyone frowned at that, “What do you mean?” Damian asked.
“The real deal got into a fight and uh… they’re pretty strong. I think I’m gonna need to recombine.”
“What?” Jason said, it was hard to tell if the flatness was his own voice or the modulator.
“Oh uh… I’m a… what’s that word again… doppelganger! That’s it. The main body’s back home and,” he winced again, a bruise blooming across his cheek in real time. No, in double time, it was like watching a time lapse of a bruise blooming and slowly starting to heal. “Look, having my attention and powers split like this is normally fine, a good way to keep my powers in check for fighting normal humans actually. But uh… let’s see… I think I’m fighting Plasmius?”
“We don’t know who that is,” Damian said with a sigh. “He keeps saying names of people or things like I’ll know what it means.”
“It means I can’t afford to have my attention and powers split over two bodies, so I’m about to poof. Sorry. But I’ll be back tomorrow, summon me after school Dami?”
“Summon?” Everyone but the twins asked in confusion.
“Of course, Danyal. Good luck fighting your rogue.”
“I think the fruit loop counts as my arch nemesis, unfortunately. But I gotta sorta slide back, can’t have all of tonight’s memories and my half of the power hit me all at once. This might look a little freaky, but it’s normal and I’m fine I promise.”
Jason unslung his arm from Danny’s shoulder and took a step to the side. They all gawked as Danny closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, his breath frosting in what should be warm air. His face, the only part of him not covered by the Robin costume, started to go invisible at the same time his skin and hair started to gray. Then he was gone and the costume was left behind, slumping to the floor in a pile.
Everyone stood there for a moment, staring at the colorful pile of armor, then they all turned to look at Damian.
“TT, don’t ask me. I still don’t have a full list of everything he can do.”
---
Tim, along with everyone else, was at the manor the next afternoon. And he did mean everyone, even Kate, Harper, and Cullen were there. Hell, even Jason was there, on time no less. Damian had put “17:30 sharp” in the family (minus Bruce) chat and they knew he meant it. They were crowded into one of the larger sitting rooms, every chair filled save a chaise lounge that had been reserved for Damian. The boy of the hour arrived right on time, with five minutes leeway to set everything up.
“So tell me again who you want to introduce us to, chum?” Bruce asked as he followed behind Damian. Alfred brought up the rear, a plate of fresh cookies in hand.
“I haven't told you yet, Father. Have some patience, it will all make sense soon.” Damian settled on the lounge, setting his crutches to lean against it before pulling something out of his pocket. It was a small metal container, he popped it open and pulled out what appeared to be a bright green handkerchief. Very bright green, possible letting off light, neon toxic green. Duke made a soft surprised sound. Damian spread the cloth out on the coffee table in front of him and smoothed it out.
“Damian,” Bruce said carefully, “what is that?”
“A summoning circle, obviously.”
Wait, Danny was serious about being summoned?
“Can… can you even summon living people?” Dick leaned over from where he was perched on the couch’s arm to whisper to Cass, who was perched behind Tim on the couch’s back. Tim and Cass both shrugged.
“Damian, dealing with the occult is very dangerous.”
“It’s quite safe, Father.” Damian pointed down at the white markings on the handkerchief, “Since all the sigils are on here permanently there is no chance of making a mistake drawing them by hand. This group here is his name, this circle can summon one person and one person only. The rest of these are for protection. And this spot here,” Damian tapped on a small circle within the outer ring, “is to activate it. It does require a single drop of blood, it was the safest way to make the circle.”
“Blood?” Bruce asked flatly.
“It will make sense when I call him, do you trust me?”
“I’m not sure I trust whoever this “him” is,” Bruce grumbled.
“But do you trust me, Father?”
Bruce sighed, “You promise whoever this is means us no harm?”
“Of course, I promise.”
“I met the young man last night,” Alfred said as he placed the plate of cookies in the circle. “I found him to be polite and sincere.”
“So this is to do with whatever happened last night that I can’t get any of you to tell me about?”
“We want to explain it ourselves,” Damian said firmly. Then he pulled out a batarang and carefully poked a finger. “Blood of my blood, I call forth the spirit of my brother, Danyal.” He touched the drop of blood to the handkerchief, which lit up as the air around them shifted. 
A figure began floating up from the circle, glowing white hair that waved as if they were under water, ashen skin, glowing Lazarus green eyes, a wide smile filled with sharp fangs. This… this wasn’t Danny, was this? The figure seemed to be wearing some kind of black jumpsuit, white gloves picking up the plate of cookies as they passed through the plate. They had no legs, after the belt the body just continued in a long tapering tail that ended like whisps of smoke. They were glowing, they were slightly see through! What was going on?
This wasn’t the boy they’d met last night.
“Father, my brother. Danyal, our father.” Damian paused, then added on, “And the rest of our family.”
“Hi,” the figure chirped, then seemed to shrink into himself as he looked around. “I uh… prefer to be called Danny. The only people who full name me are usually trying to kill me. Or send me to detention.”
That was Damian’s, or rather Danny’s voice alright. Even still had the faint midwestern drawal.
“Why do you look so different?” Dick asked in shock.
“It’s… a long story. Which I’m supposed to tell everyone.” Danny shrunk further into himself, looking miserable. “Please stop being so scared.”
“They are simply adjusting to your unfamiliar form, they will get over it,” Damian said firmly, glaring at everyone in the room.
“It’s not just fear, Dami, they’re horrified.”
“Sit down, eat your cookies. Alfred worked hard on those.” Damian patted the empty space next to him on the chaise lounge. 
Danny turned and spun in place to sit down, looked down at where his tail was curled up under him, made a sour face, then the tail was suddenly replaced by a pair of legs tucked under him. He shoved a cookie into his mouth, now sporting normal teeth from what little Tim could see. “S’good,” Danny slurred, glancing over at Alfred who merely nodded his approval.
“Some time ago,” Damian started, as if that wasn’t the most vague way to start, “I summoned Danyal the first time. I am aware it was foolish, I will not hear about it.”
“I called him dumb already,” Danny added in. “I mean, I had to go find someone to explain how the circles work and what makes them safe or dangerous first, but yeah, I called him dumb. Then I had some friends help me make this,” Danny reached over and tapped the handkerchief, “then I went to three trusted uh… mentors? I guess I’d call them? And made sure with each of them this thing is legit before giving it to Dami.”
Bruce hadn’t moved, still standing in front of the coffee table, slack jawed, staring blankly down at Danny and Damian.
“Is he okay?” Danny stage whispered to Damian.
“Perhaps keeping it a surprise was not the optimal option.”
That seemed to snap Bruce out of it, “I think I need to sit down.”
Dick hopped up to guide Bruce to the nearest open seat, which happened to be the chaise lounge. Danny quickly flew up and moved to float cross legged in the air just on the other side of Damian, as if he were sitting in some invisible chair. He munched another cookie before offering the plate to Damian, who took a cookie for himself.
Once Bruce and Dick had settled back down, Damian decided to continue the story. “More recently I needed to do a covert investigation, but I couldn’t allow any of you know.”
“You what?” Bruce asked, clearly upset.
“I know, he still hasn’t even told me what it was. And I had to cover for him!” Danny sounded so offended.
“I had Danyal take my place in patrol while I was away.”
“When?” Bruce asked, voice dipping down as he leveled a steely glare at Damian.
“You never noticed, I think that speaks for itself. So as a test-”
Cass and Tim bumped fists.
“-Danyal has been joining us on patrols for the last twelve days.”
“Almost made it the full two weeks too,” Danny said airily. “That reminds me, you owe me fifty bucks.”
“What? No!” Damian shot back angrily. “They found out before the two weeks were up, clearly I won that bet and you owe me!”
“They didn’t figure it out, that part of the bet is a draw at best for you. No, the fifty is because you’re the reason they found out. It seems awfully suspicious you got into some kind of accident right before the deadline, how did you break your leg again?”
“I did not break my leg on purpose just to win a meaningless bet!”
“Okay, both of you need to calm down,” Bruce said, looking unsure if he needed to step between the two squabbling boys. “You… had a bet?”
“I bet fifty bucks I wouldn’t give myself away before the two weeks were up, Damian bet fifty bucks you’d figure me out before two weeks. And they didn’t figure it out.” Danny turned to glare at Damian as he said that last part.
“Fine,” Damian conceded with a pout. “I shall venmo you your winnings.”
The ghost floating in front of them has a venmo. The ghost floating in front of them has a use for US currency. What is going on? Is Tim hallucinating?
Damian’s pout deepened, “I am still disappointed in you all for not noticing a whole extra person joining our patrols.”
“In my defense, I don’t patrol with you guys,” Duke joked.
“In our defense, we were suspicious,” Tim added.
Bruce sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Damian, we had no way of even expecting you to switch places with your long lost dead twin.” Bruce paused, then looked over at Danny. “How did you pull that off? No offense Danny, but you are very easy to tell apart right now.”
“Oh, that’s because I can do this.” A bright flash of light washed over Danny, changing him back to the boy Tim had met the night before, only wearing baggy casual clothes instead of brightly colored armor.
Duke yelped and covered his eyes, “A little more warning next time? Damn, that was bright!”
“Oops, sorry.”
“Oh thank god, I was so worried,” Steph murmured from next to Tim.
“Well that was flashy,” Dick said.
Bruce seemed broken again, staring at the now living, black haired, blue eyed boy sitting cross legged in the air next to Damian.
“Okay, so what the fuck was all that?” Jason asked, motioning to Danny. “Are you dead or aren’t you? Because you don’t look dead right now.”
“Neither do you,” Danny snarked back.
“I’m not dead though.”
“You sure?”
“Not anymore,” Jason said stubbornly.
“No one ever comes all the way back, not anyone who was dead dead.”
“Please stop,” Bruce begged. Dick whimpered in agreement.
Danny ducked into his shoulders again, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry.”
“Since it would be inconvenient for Robin to be missing at the same time I have a broken leg,” Damian said as a clear subject change, “and we have a perfect stand in who’s already proven himself in the field, Danyal has kindly offered to cover for me for the next few nights.”
“I managed to soup Plasmius last night, so that gives me two, three days max of not having to worry about his schemes. My friends can cover for me during the night so long as I’m still back home during the day. Unless a rabid ancient show up, anyway.”
“What does any of that even mean?” Tim begged.
“We could use some context,” Dick added.
“Right, I guess this is when the life story portion starts,” Danny said with a sigh.
“Perhaps you would prefer to talk over dinner?” Alfred asked from the room’s doorway.
“Dinner sounds great!” Danny cheered as he hopped to his feet, now firmly on the floor. “I’m not sure talking about dying and coming back is the best dinner conversation though,” Danny said absently as he and Bruce helped Damian to his feet.
“Alfred usually has a strict no work talk at the dinner table rule,” Tim teased.
“I think he can make an exception for someone’s life story,” Duke laughed. There were several murmurs of agreement.
“Alright, well I guess we can start with the first time I died,” Danny said as the group slowly filed out of the sitting room and towards the dining room.
764 notes · View notes
blue-uppercase · 3 months ago
Text
Special interests are crazy. Like why am I sitting in my little lessons and lectures while rubbing my hands together mischievously and thinking "I can't wait to get home so I can make Kremy Lecroux even more miserable and homosexual than he already is"
188 notes · View notes
thoughtsafterdark · 5 months ago
Text
Hospitals and Airports are the closest modernity can come to reaching the Divine
Have you noticed how some places seem immune to time and social conventions. Like airports, those monoliths of now. Harsh lights burning and souls criss-crossing, tongues melting together into a writhing throng of humanity, a steaming cesspit of consciousness. Steeped in camaraderie yet drenched in isolation. The electric blue arrivals sign glares with neon brightness at 3am, a beacon that signals the end of the road.
Here comes a family of 4 on their way home, crossing through automatic doors into the balmy drizzle of a British night, carrying their loot of straw hats and cheap pendants, tan lines and peeling red lobster skin. A girl no older than 5 limps after her parents and older brother. She lugs her bright pink unicorn behind her and hugs the hood of lilac pyjamas close, rubs the sleep out of her eyes whilst her mother shouts at her to hurry. Soon she’ll tuck herself into bed, in the attic of their ordinary red brick London row house, and she’ll watch the sun peak over the trees in the back garden for the first time in her life. It will become a core memory she will think fondly back on for years to come.
By the first class lounge they hurried past, a man in an impeccable suit (Sheep’s wool, the finest money can buy. The grey colour of the Thames on an early morning) paces back and forth restlessly, briefcase in hand, phone in another. Gold amber eyes like a hawk, close cropped black hair and neatly trimmed beard, square pocket matching the deep tan of his shoes (authentic leather). He is barking orders to someone in Arabic, closing deals, building empires. A bloodied napkin he used to stop a nosebleed earlier falls out of his pocket and winks up at the scaffolding exposed ceiling, high and arching like the dome of a cathedral. He’ll make the sale, then visit the airport bathroom again before hailing a cab to the closest 5 star. In the morning, the maid who took the job to send money to her ailing mother in the Philippines will find his cold stiff body and scream. She’ll call the police and be taken in for questioning. She never signed up for this.
At the hospital coffee shop – two streets and half a lifetime away - a 4th year med students sips on a cortado like her life depends on it. Caffeine surges through her veins, bracing her for the day ahead. Unbelievable how exhausting trying to take up as little space as possible can be. She hates the spiel, it’s the same every time. A new dawn, a new face, a new team. The introductions, the smiling, the grovelling, the headache. She’s 5ft flat with bright orange hair, aspirations for Neurosurgery and a bright pink notebook, so why would they take her seriously.
It’s 8:30, and she’s scheduled for 9am clinic, so she has time for a hurried breakfast today. (Eating any earlier makes her gag). Small mercies. The off-red stained scrubs she nicked from the theatre changing rooms cling to her like a second skin preparing to moult. She squirms in them, the comfort undeniable. They make her feel like she belongs. They make her feel like an imposter.
Her table – she comes here so often; she thinks of it as hers - sits right by large windows overlooking the main entrance and staircase. She sees it all from here, her quiet unassuming throne. The doctors and nurses, physios and pharmacists. Rushing rushing, running, stressing. Wishing, hoping, waiting, waiting, waiting. For the shift to end, for the time for bed. For this rotation to change, for the exam to pass. We’ll go on that holiday next month, next year. When money isn’t tight, when things are more settled.  Before they know it they’ve wished their lives away.
Their patients understand, all too well and all too late. The same father with the IV drip and the metal stand comes down here every morning to see his daughters. They run up to him, he holds them close and beams. But his grip is getting weaker, smile is getting thinner. He doesn’t answer when they ask when he’s coming home. It’s funny what we can’t hear when we’re too busy wearing stethoscopes. Next month she (I) will be stationed on the Psych ward. We’ll have to do it all again, but maybe they’ll hear me this time. Maybe it’ll get easier.
Between them all and among them, if you squint and unfocus your eyes during one of those ungodly hours at the Starbacks across from Boots and WHSmith, leaning against a grey white pillar you might see him.
He is the spectre that haunts airport lounges and waiting rooms alike, the handsome stranger with the black snapback and the beats headphones and the khaki shorts. The one who lives out of a rucksack and wears a travel pillow like a crown. With the kind eyes and crows feet, and honey chestnut curls. He is that boy from your high school everyone liked, with a kind word for everyone; the one with a charmers smile and the charisma to bullshit his way through anything. The one who – when pressed for future plans, would laugh and shake his head, looking down bashfully. “I just want to travel for now, see where it takes me. I want to see the world”, he’d say, eyes twinkling with the possibilities. On someone else, the words would likely merit a telling off, they’d be seen as the paper thin excuse to fuck around and get high. But he seemed so genuine, and his teeth were such a dazzling shade of brilliant white when he smiled, even the strictest careers advisers couldn’t resist.
He lives in those moments, the liminal fabric between worlds that’s so hard to put your finger on. Blink and you’ll miss him in the old alleys of Rome, the spark of his cigarette lighter blending amongst the city lights.
You’ll find him among the most remote hiking trails of the Peloponnese, laughing with local shepherds and German tourists alike, sitting on jutting rocky cliffs and admiring the blue Mediterranean below. If you really pay attention, you’ll see his staff isn’t like the others. Something suspiciously like a pair of snake slithers up and down. You could swear you heard them whispering just now, but when you look again it’s just a wooden stick.
He is the patron of us wanderers and travellers, those of us with movement in our blood and restlessness in our hearts. The ones who beget the will of changing winds and shifting tides. The ones who can’t allow themselves to sit still, lest the dust settle and the coffee get cold. The mortifying ordeal of being seen and known. Or the ones that carry a hearth with them, in the bottom of a suitcase, in the heart of a trailer. The ones who move and weave through the Earth not because they are running but because they are coming home. He dances and jokes with the kids amongst campfires, always welcome, always a pleasure. And if he helps them pick the odd lock, swearing solemnly to secrecy, who are we to judge.
His bronze skin smells of cinnamon and nutmeg, vanilla and cedar and a thousand other spices. He reeks of incense and market stalls, moles and freckles tell the story of trading routes and old silk roads, of cotton shawls from Alexandria and silk from Pekking. His fingers and eyes twinkle with the good-natured mischief of petty thieves and sleight-of-hand magicians, tricksters and circus performers. He picks apples from behind ears, presents jewel necklaces to his lovers.
She sees him now, amongst the patients. He helps an old lady up the steps, pulls a balloon out of his back pocket to the delight of a sick child. She locks eyes with him and they nod at one another She has been seen now, and known. Perhaps she’ll find him again one day, if either stop running.
223 notes · View notes
existentialterror · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Untitled
Total Eclipse by Annie Dillard House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski Detective Pony by @sonnetstuck Meme by unknown Words as Mental Paintbrush Handles by Eliezer Yudkowsky Diving into the Wreck by Adrienne Rich House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T. S. Elliot Meme by unknown Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T. S. Elliot
142 notes · View notes