#exclusive attraction
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Term and flag are not mine! Posting for term visibility only. Originally coined by LGBTA Wiki user Mineshaft on 1/15/22. Info carrd by coiner found here.
Pansyian / Pansyic
"Pansyic is the exclusive attraction to men and to any nonbinary people who aren't women, majority woman-aligned, female-aligned, or woman-related. Or in simpler terms, nonwomen exclusively loving other nonwomen. A Panysian is someone who is Pansyic.
Please note that: Feminine-aligned people are included in Pansyic!"
Defined on the LGBTA wiki as: "Pansyic, also known as pansyian, refers to any binary men, men-aligned or non-woman-aligned non-binary individuals who are exclusively attracted to other men or non-women-aligned nonbinary individuals."
Pansyian is an exclusive equivalent to Floric.
Flag Meaning
Dark blue-grey represents love for all body types (bears, twinks, otters, and wolves).
Light blue represents masculinity.
Green represents the historical significance of green carnations in LGBTQ+ history and panysians who are on the aromantic spectrum.
Off white represents anyone underneath the trans umbrella, gender non-comformity, and pronoun non-conformity.
Salmon pink represents femininity, femmes, and love.
Lighter purple represents the history behind lavender flowers in LGBTQ+ history, androgyny, and pansyians who are on the asexual spectrum.
Dark purple represents diversity and community.
#pansyian#pansyic#mlm#mlnb#nblnb#nblm#nwlnw#exclusive attraction#floric#storm.pride#gay#gay pride#queer#queer pride#lgbt#lgbt flag#lgbt label#gay men#gay nonbinary#nonbinary gay#pansy#pansy slur#slur reclamation#was sad to see this hadnt been posted to site yet#me finding this and crying cause its perfect actually inspired my previous gay nonwoman post#hope it gives someone else good vibes too
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i may not be the most fuckable person in the grocery store but i am frequently the most fuckable person at the coffee shop
#🐉#idk if its the way i dress or my personality or what but i always attract some admirer at the coffee shop exclusively lmao
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being in the arcane fandom rn as an aspec person is a very interesting experience because so many people (because of jayvik) seem to only now be realising that there's more types of love than just platonic, romantic and sexual and that the lines can blur
honestly it's quite nice to see
#as someone who feels queerplatonic attraction pretty much exclusively? yeah its very interesting to see#not interesting in a bad way just- interesting#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#aspec#alterous attraction
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I hate that every man Im attracted to in TV is a middle aged white man, and that every comfort character is an awkward probably autistic queer coded freak
#smaeemo#heavily directed#comfort characters include#gregory house#dexter morgan#castiel#spencer reid#merlin#notice a theme?#and unfortunately#Im drawn to#aaron hotchner#robert chase#and probably more#also I am exclusively attracted to women#and aroace#just as a side note#autism#spn#criminal minds#merlin bbc#dexter#house md#this is just the men btw#I love my fictional women#would never talk about them like this
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Many homophobes started realizing bigotry is bad, and they wanted to be "on the right side of history" so, naturally, they have decided homosexuality is now bigotry
#These damn genital fetishists#their close-minded exclusive same-sex attraction#and unwillingness to tolerate homophobia >:(
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Y'know, I see a lot of people argue that like, Jay is ugly. Why does Jon like him? And I've made it clear I disagree, because, like, cmon:
That is OBJECTIVELY a handsome man, and I'm a lesbian, lmao.
But like. If he was. ... So?
I actually think it's pretty cool that DC was like, yeah, Superman fell in love with a guy who cuts his own hair with dull scissors and dresses like oscar the grouch. He's a little weird to look at, maybe he's not the most conventionally attractive dude, but SUPERMAN found him wonderful and wanted to kiss him on the mouth.
That's... great? Like that's great. There's no universe where that reading of the text isn't awesome and empowering. Queer love should transcend looks and social status, and a huge part of queerness is finding beauty in the 'odd', anyways.
#I wont leave it unsaid I do think saying jay is ugly often gets kinda racist. So knock that off. But also#I think part of my general confusion here is like. As a weird looking dyke. Yes Jay is not conventionally attractive. ... Good?#Conventionally attractive people are terrifying and boring.#I am exclusively attracted to the strangest women possible and I believe gay men should get to have that joy too AMEN!#I like this little freak WAY more he's got an actually interesting design lmao#dc#This wasn't prompted by anything!#I just was thinking about how much this talking point bothers me. Please get interesting for once in yalls lives#jay nakamura#jayjon#jonjay#jon kent
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀homecomfplatonic
homecomfplatonic ;; an orientation term for when your friends feel like home. Or when your platonic partner feels like home! All safe and comfortable, cozy, just like home if you will !
tagging : @puriette (because this is for pure's coining event)(link) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀@radiomogai
for day 1 of puriette's coining event !!! i uh, ran with both of the prompts, also it is june 1st here ehrm i got pride month early!!!
ID in alt text ^_^
#homecomfplatonic#✧ vermins gift ~ coining#✦ solace in solitude ~ (🧊)#mogai#liom#mogai coining#mogai safe#attraction coining#orientation coining#mogai orientation#mogai attraction#>>kinda made with avoidants in mind but i am just kinda silly so take this as a suggestion and not exclusivity to the term#>>also can you tell we saw phantasveries stuff and got inspired?#>>those goobers make really good flags...#puriette1200
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I will never clown on Gay Astarion enjoyers for hating him being paired with women, because seeing Minthara shipped with men fills me with the same feeling of puzzlement.
#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate#baldur's gate iii#baldurs gate iii#larian studios#larian#minthara baenre#minthara#astarion ancunin#astarion#like as a bisexual I respect that they're not exclusively attracted to one gender#but there's just this initial rejection of anything other than homosexuality#you know?
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crazy to be one of a small amount of phannies attracted to men sometimes… like what do you mean you saw the catboy dan photoshoot and you aren’t foaming at the mouth
#ppl exclusively attracted to women i respect and even envy you#as a gay i’m doing BAD#dnp#dan and phil#danandphil
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louis and daniel would be the healthiest relationship in this show and that's why it won't happen
#interview with the vampire#sharpie says shit#louis de pointe du lac#daniel molloy#danlou#i love this toxic failmarriage polycule going around#theyre all horrible and deserve each other <3#to be clear i mean old daniel#they are both exclusively attracted to manipulative toxic assholes :/
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how come you don't draw the ppl / characters you have the hots for
there's a certain kind of artist that can do that... a better type of artist................. and an artist who can stand to look at the reference material for more than a few seconds at a time.
#i can't look at someone i'm TRULY attracted to for very long before needing to basically walk it off and this is not a joke#but also there are a few Types of artists and one of them is the type where most of the work is self portraiture#or like. self adjacent. hence all the art. of. fat women. that i make. sort of more of my likeness#but also if you do a bad job drawing someone you think is hot then it's sort of like well. maybe i should consider killing myself#sergle answers#sometimes you don't want to. BESMIRCH. something that you like. by not doing it justice when you draw it#weird coming from me bc I used to draw EXCLUSIVELY fanart but also I wasn't thinking about it that hard at the time
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how is sex work perceived and treated - spiritually, legally, morally - in broad areas relevant to the white calf core cast? imperial wardi, the hills etc
Sex work is EXTREMELY stigmatized in Imperial Wardin, yet generally regarded as an element of society and a necessary function, not one to be eliminated. You'll occasionally find fringe groups decrying the presence of brothels as polluting elements upon cities, but they are minority figures- sex work is legal, generally accepted, and very common.
There are some exceptions- in most of the city-states, only sex work out of registered brothels is considered fully legal (independent sex workers are breaking the law in most city-states, though how much these laws are enforced varies heavily). All legally operating brothels must be officially registered, and are heavily taxed.
Prostitution of children is illegal, and this is one of VERY few protections for sex workers that is strongly enforced. But it should be clear that the societal definition of a child here does not match the contemporary- a person is generally considered an adult woman upon menarche (which is later on average due to poorer nutrition, but is still going to include a lot of like, 14 year olds). Boys are considered adults at the age of 16.
Forced prostitution is also illegal on paper, but this is poorly enforced. Even when not Outright forced, many sex workers are working as indentured laborers, or under prohibitive conditions where they have very little freedom of movement or legal ability to leave during the duration of their contracts.
Sex workers are an incredibly vulnerable, stigmatized social minority that have very few protections and are often subject to abuse.
The stigma against sex work surrounds the sex workers themselves. This is culturally justified and partly rooted in aspects of broader body taboo- receiving penetration = metaphysical vulnerability = openness to spiritual pollution, and they are considered to be heavily polluted by their line of work (regardless of whether or not a given person actually is receiving penetration on a regular basis- male sex workers who primarily have women as clients receive much the same treatment, the stigma here is fundamentally a form of bigotry, not something with a consistent internal logic).
In addition to concerns around penetration, the act of '''selling''' the body itself is seen as a polluting devaluation of the sacred body and using it to extreme excess. Sexuality and libido is societally valued, but in a framework of moderation- sex workers are seen as wildly out of moderation and are often ascribed qualities of an excessive libido by virtue of their line of work.
Sex workers are prohibited from entering most temples and participating in many public rites, justified in their ‘polluted’ status, under the assumption that it will de-purify the place and sully most rites. This serves to keep them isolated from key facets of social life and culture, and can leave many spiritually ostracized (most sex workers from within this cultural sphere are also going to believe in notions that they are spiritually polluted, with limited outlets to cleanse themselves).
There is one folk tradition that has developed to assuage some of these fears and the sense of isolation- an epithet to the Face Ganmache that translates literally to 'Mother of Whores' (a rather strong name that reclaims degrading slang in the original language as well), which watches over sex workers and their labors. This is wholly a folk tradition and not part of core dogma, and priests are self-appointed, mostly elderly former sex workers. They provide rites of purification and blessings for those denied access to temples, sometimes train themselves as midwives to assist in births (or abortions), and will help ensure deceased workers get proper funeral rites.
Generally, the concept of something being spiritually polluted translates to full avoidance of the person/place/thing involved, but these concerns are rarely applied to the Hiring of sex workers (ie they are spiritually polluted and highly impure and shouldn't enter temples but you, the client, are not affected by contact). While some people will try to provide logical explanations for why hiring a sex worker is not polluting, this does not have any true underlying logic and is a product of a society that both reviles sex workers and desires their labor.
They are generally expected to visually identify themselves as sex workers at all times- the exact details vary by city-state, but wearing hair unbraided and an uncovered head in public is most common (particularly in the west of the region).
Male sex workers are denied certain rights otherwise available by default to men (self-legal representation, ability to own land that is not gifted, etc). Female sex workers do not have these rights to begin with, and have even more difficulty than other women in finding legal representation, given that they situationally rarely have fathers/husbands/male family members willing to support them.
Because of their inability to represent themselves in court and the difficulty in finding representation, they often have little to no recourse against abuse or violations of their contracts. There are some lawyers who specialize in representing sex workers (fewer still who do this entirely out of benevolence for a vulnerable social class), but they are few and far between.
The majority of sex work is marketed towards male clients, and the majority of sex workers are women. Male sex workers are mostly young men who serve male clients, and will usually keep themselves beardless and not overtly masculine (while not distinctly effeminate either) to remain desirable targets for the sexual outlet of most men. (There is no concept of sexuality in this culture- if you are a man, you are a penetrative partner in sex and the gender of the receiving partner is of little concern. Younger men beneath you in social stature (in practice, these are almost always sex workers) are considered appropriate targets of male desire, and as such you have some men who would be considered heterosexual by contemporary standards having sex with other men). Male workers who primarily serve female clients tend to vary more in age and have less social restrictions on their appearance or masculine presentation.
Eunuch sex workers usually serve male clients, and are regarded as appropriate targets of male attraction regardless of their age (largely as they are seen as entirely incapable of performing penetrative roles, and conceptualized as de-gendered). Akoshos (those designated male who perform women's gender roles) sex workers are seen as uniquely predisposed to serve both male and female clients, as their gendered space is broadly conceptualized as dual-gendered (being physically capable of performing 'male' penetrative roles while living under women's social roles)
Hiring of sex workers is not considered infidelity and is entirely permissible to do while married, though women are often heavily discouraged from doing so (largely out of concerns of pregnancy, partly out of patriarchal control over women's sexual behavior). A woman who pays for sex work receives more scrutiny than is applied to men. It is not outright inappropriate, but can be considered indicative of an excessive libido or overmasculinization. Women are imagined as having naturally lower libidos than men, so behaviors that challenge this notion tend to be be noted.
The only circumstances in which hiring sex workers as a man attracts scrutiny is when it is deemed excessive, symptomatic of an uncontrolled libido. Men who hire male sex workers closer to their age and/or bearded will also attract scrutiny- while not outright Condemned, it's suspiciously out of the acceptable range for male desire (though will most often similarly be interpreted as an excessive, uncontrolled libido, ie you'll just fuck anything with a hole). Receiving penetration from a sex worker as a man is wholly condemned, as is seen as UNIQUELY violating, not only a severe deviance from male social roles, but at the hands of a stigmatized, polluted figure that is at the absolute bottom of the social ladder. This usually happens in secret and often involves paying the worker off for their silence.
The one major exception to stigma against sex workers is in the lemna courtesan tradition. Lemna are mostly unmarried women and/or akoshos who are very skilled trained performers who work as entertainers for wealthy clients. Their services are not sexual in nature, rather they sing, dance, act, play music, and recite poetry, and are skilled conversationalists that provide company for clients. Lemna usually operate out of elite brothels, but as separate services to the sex workers, and are in theory never available for sex work. Lemna providing sex work sometimes (though not frequently) occurs in practice, but it is always be presented as something they have not been Paid to do- their payment was for entertainment, and they will present it as a (almost always purely fantastical) situation that they have grown attracted to their client and are engaging in a romantic tryst.
Lemna courtesanship is long-established and a valued part of this culture's art and theater traditions, and they do not face the same stigma as sex workers, rather being seen as an elite class of performers. They do not exactly have a High place in society either (as unmarried civilian women and/or akoshos, they are notably lacking in social power), but the regard towards them is overall positive. The exemption to this stigma partially lies within the framework of body taboo (they do not explicitly 'sell' their bodies or directly engage in sex work), but is largely rooted in the esteem of their tradition rather than any coherent logic.
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Sex work has a much less significant, less complicated, and less intensely stigmatized place in the highlands, mostly due to its reduced presence. Most people are living in relatively small agricultural villages, or transiently as herders, so there are fewer opportunities for sex workers to operate on regular and official levels. The only places you can reliably find sex workers within the highlands are in small quasi-towns that crop up around land trade routes, or occasionally as traveling traders (usually offering material goods in addition to sex work services).
There’s also no intra-highlands currency system, so sex workers will usually be paid in goods, which in turn influences the cultural lens on sex work. Goods have direct, immediate utilitarian value that currency does not, and paying goods for service is most pragmatically done as a means of material practicality- forming alliances, acquiring farmhands, receiving the defensive or offensive service of warriors, etc, not for temporary gratification.
The fact that this cultural sphere is fairly egalitarian in terms of gender (though it has strongly enforced, separate gender roles for married men and women) also contributes to the comparative lack of stigma- part of the Imperial Wardi stigma against sex work is interwoven with misogyny (with women sex workers being the most degraded extent of femininity, and male sex workers taking on inappropriate, degraded feminine roles in providing sexual services). Women have equal overall societal power to men in the Hill Tribes cultural sphere, and things associated with femininity are not Themselves degrading (men seen as feminine are not shamed for femininity itself, rather in their specific failure to perform male gender roles- the distinction can be subtle but is very significant to how gender roles are approached).
Casual sex between unmarried men and women is fully accepted, somewhat seen as a hallmark of youth. However, married couples are expected to remain exclusively faithful to one another. This also goes a ways to discourage hiring of sex workers, which would be accepted grounds for a divorce and a mark of shame on the person who strayed.
While not excessively stigmatized, the views on sex work here is nowhere near Enlightened And Supportive either, it’s still seen as a highly degrading, unfortunate line of work. Sex workers are usually going to be unmarried women of marriageable age who could not (or would not) acquire a husband for one reason or another. They are women who failed in expected roles of marriage and becoming the manager of a family’s home and property, and have not even taken an esteemed, productive role for spinsters (usually physical labor in herding, farming, raiding) in favor of one that is considered ‘selling’ one’s body to provide useless, base services to desperate men. It's something that will usually be looked at as sad and unfortunate at best, or an absurd dereliction of duty at worst.
Male sex workers are virtually unheard of (within the highlands at least, there's cultural stereotypes of Wardi men being effeminate and predisposed to sex with men, so of course THEY'VE got male sex workers all over the fucking place), and the concept of a man operating as a sex worker would just seem absurd to most.
But the levels of social shame surrounding sex work are actually higher for the client in this cultural context- it’s suggestive that you either cannot afford to get a wife/do not have the requisite masculine skillset to be a husband, or otherwise that you’re so utterly incapable of getting laid that you have to go to great effort and barter for sex, a petty expense of valuable goods. It's both a foolish waste and in many ways a failure of expected male gender roles. Most men who hire the services of sex workers will keep it on the down low, or (if living near the borders) commute to Wardi towns or tradeways for access. It’s seen as an act of desperation, foolish, emasculating, and will generally be mocked and shamed.
I actually have a framework of a folktale that kind of demonstrates the cultural lens pre-established (no names for the characters or clans involved, it's supposed to be of the far northern Bict-Braíghnnas tribe). I'll put it under the cut:
One of the folktales describes a young woman who was strikingly beautiful and exceedingly clever. She was of the Bict-Braíghnnas, the lone daughter of a very small, very poor clan, consisting only of her immediate family and a few cousins. Her father had died young, and her younger brothers and cousins were malnourished and inexperienced, and could do little to protect or grow their meager herd of horses (they certainly could not afford cattle). She had to take on the role of the provider for herself and remained unmarried long past marriageable age, living day by day doing whatever she could to scrape by and keep her family afloat.
She became aware that the patriarch of her ruling clan had an eye for her, and he began approaching her in hopes of soliciting sex. At first, she always brushed him off. She found him repulsive, as he was foolish and greedy and rather ugly. But she started to see an opportunity in all this. It was a humiliating opportunity, but one she was willing to take.
The next time he approached, she pretended to consider his advances, but only if he should provide payment in turn- if she was as beautiful as he kept saying, and he was as wealthy as he kept bragging, wouldn't it be worth the price? He first offered her a sack of barley, but she laughed him off. He then offered her fine clothes, but she feigned insult, was she not already beautiful even in poor, worn rags? He then offered her a breeding pair of pheasants, and she pushed aside her shawl to expose her breasts, and sweetly asked if he Really could not do better, wealthy in cattle as he was. The man was now, quite clearly, hard in his trousers.
He finally relented to an obscene payment- he would go under his wife (the owner of his cattle)'s nose and give her an adult cow, in payment for having sex with him just once. This is a high price to pay, but she was gorgeous and he was rich in cattle and could afford to lose one (or two. or five. Maybe more.). She accepted his offer and had sex with him, and came away with her very first cow.
(Some tellings of this story go on a tangent here where she sneaks the cow right back into the man's fields under cover of darkness, to breed it with one of his bulls and begin forming her own herd)
Over the next several months, he started regularly approaching her for sex in exchange for cattle, until he had to start coming up with explanations to his wife as to where the missing cattle had gone- he first claimed they were given as gifts, then that some were stolen, inventing wild stories of great raids and declaring open conflict with the greatest rival to his clan, all as means of masking his dalliances. This skirmishing came at great cost to his own clan, but he was too foolish and weak-willed to stop.
The woman was meanwhile using her newfound and growing wealth in cattle to make connections and political moves, slowly establishing herself as a powerful figure and having many in her debt. Her brothers and cousins, finally well fed, grew tall and healthy and began to take on roles as herders, protectors, and raiders, with the assistance of more young men gained in alliance. All the while, she dutifully continued her paid trysts with the patriarch whenever he summoned her.
Eventually, the man had given her so many cattle (which had been bred in the meantime, and more had been acquired in trade and raids) that she had three times as many as he did. One day, she did not appear as expected. She had amassed great wealth for herself and her clan, and had been courting the unwed son of the patriarch’s rival clan. The son paid a hefty bride price for her, and they were wed on that day.
Now the wealthiest in cattle and the most powerful clan in the valley, the woman and her new husband ousted the weakened and disgraced former patriarch, becoming the new ruling clan of the Bict-Braíghnnas. The couple were wise and wealthy rulers, and their clan remains in power and rich in cattle to this day.
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The cultural outlook on sex work (among other things) is fairly well encapsulated here- the sex work itself is degrading, but this fits into common motifs of this cultural sphere’s folktales where the hero figure overcomes difficult and often degrading situations with wit and social skill, and ultimately rises above it. Note that as a (non-comedic) hero of this tale, she uses her sex work very intentionally and pragmatically for material gain and alongside many other measures to increase her standing. Also note that, when unmarried, she's specified as taking up practical labor roles, and ultimately acquires a husband and ends the story in the expected position as a wife.
The actions of the man who hired her are distinctly shameful. He is performing his role as a husband TERRIBLY- being unfaithful, completely mismanaging his wife’s herds and ultimately driving his clan out of power all in pursuit of petty lust. He is in part an exaggerated, cartoonish embodiment of the cultural perception of the clients of sex workers- desperate, foolishly lustful, and an overall failure as a man. Most hearing this story would find his role highly comedic, a powerful but stupid foe for the clever and pragmatic hero to overcome.
(Very minor side note: the detail of him being enthralled by her breasts is also meant to be comedic- breasts are not sexualized in this culture (women's hips/thighs/buttocks are what is typically seen as sexually attractive), and many women will be out topless on hot days without note being made of it (toplessness is culturally acceptable, exposing genitalia/buttocks is not). The notion of a man being out of his mind horny over the sight of a bare tit would register to listeners as excessively lustful in a humorous capacity)
While the focus of the story is ultimately more on the contrast of thrifty and foolish behaviors, it also functions as a discouragement of hiring sex workers, casting the loss of assets in trade for sex as a similarly foolish venture, degrading to the worker and humiliating to the client.
#VERY long post. Enjoy#The only main characters who have hired sex workers are Janeys and Brakul#Janeys exclusively goes for 'appropriate' targets (mostly being women or young beardless men). Which he is not actually attracted to.#And is a fucking terrible rude as shit client with his only redeeming quality being that he pays VERY well (largely with the#implication of keeping quiet about whatever he inevitably did to embarrass himself)#Brakul only does it occasionally and on the downlow and goes for people he actually IS attracted to (men closer to his age- which#generally will be workers who normally serve female clients). He is VERY ashamed that he does it to begin with but is at least#polite and businesslike about it. He fucks off the second its over. Sometimes he's like 'actually never mind' and pays and leaves#midway through. Literally just pulls out and sets down some money and dips. They'll never see him again.#Palo has never hired a sex worker but has kind of a unique relationship with the community. Growing up in a mercantile family#in a district with a lot of brothels- sex workers were kind of just part of the community. He still ascribes to most cultural beliefs#surrounding sex work and isn't like Enlightened about it but is much more inclined to treat sex workers like peers and with a degree#of respect normally afforded to any stranger.#One of the akoshos in his community (that he spent his childhood fascinated with) was a priestess to the Mother of Whores and a#genuinely kind (though VERY stern) old woman. Had a very cold hard gaze and rugged look and he was kind of scared of her#but one time when he was 12 he got bitten by a street dog and she gave him a blessing then and there so he wouldn't have to walk#all the way to a temple. Their blessings are not considered legit under standard practice (given they are not considered a legitimate#priesthood) but he felt a lot better afterwords.
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One of the funniest justifications I've heard for thinking people are in a relationship is "They hold hands" Like. Okay??? I hold hands with my friends all the time. Why is handholding suddenly an exclusively romantic thing
#Cricket chirping#Aromantic#aro#(Not an aspec exclusive experience btw you don't have to be aro to be bothered by this shit)#I get that handholding with someone you're attracted to can be nice or whatever#But that doesn't make the act of handholding itself a romantic thing
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So having a bronze dragonborn tav who looks just a little bit too similar to ansur sure was an experience-
#bg3 spoilers#bg3 major spoilers#bg3#bg3 emperor#bg3 ansur#bg3 tav#artings#it did even out via being able to light the torches w lightning breath but like my charrie being so confused bc she gave ZERO signals#of being attracted + shes vocally exclusively into laezel#lae'sexual if you will
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every now and then I’ll remember that it is in fact not canon that max is bisexual and it shocks me to my core
#like what do u MEAN#that is the most bisexual woman I have ever seen in my life#it’s not canon but I’ve gaslit myself into thinking it is#Whenever I read a fic that features max in any way I assume she’s bi in those too even if it’s not tagged#you cannot tell me Maxine mayfield is exclusively attracted to men#max mayfield#bi max mayfield#elmax#cuz Yk#max is gay for el and I stand by it
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lesbian masterdoc and the unforgivable damage of making people hear compulsory heterosexuality and think of "can lesbians have crushes on men?" (no) instead of "are heterosexual women settling in unhappy marriages with men bellow their worth because of economic and social pressure?" (yes)
#not claiming the theory was without flaws but it sure didn't describe some virus mental affliction that exclusively plagues lesbians#for starters the theory was primarily about marriage. so it did recognise the historical fact of lesbians forced into marriage to avoid#honor killings and the still present possibility and threats especially when it comes to cults and strong religions#(once again mentioning as a Jeová's witness in a brazilian periphery my girlfriend accepted the tool of losing her entire family and social#circles to reject an arranged marriage at the age of 17. and she's bisexual. but THAT is what compulsory heterosexuality alludes to)#but more often than not when it addressed lesbians it was as the inherent threat they pose to heteropatriarchy#that they mere existence proved women were not all born to serve men. and that their lives often proved women are much happier and#accomplished when away from the burden of men.#and this acknowledging just how much loneliness was a reality through lesbian's experiences#at the same time I can understand the frustration of that feminist theory being reduced to 'comphet is when lesbians in high school were#pressured into picking one of the Backstreet Boys to lie about finding attractive'. and even more so when that non universal and much less#serious example somehow morphed into 'comphet is when bisexual women either lying or confused about being lesbians have sex with men and#find it unfulfilling' because accepting that narrative erases and harms lesbians#so I understand the 'comphet isn't real' posts especially because written like that it tends to refer to lesbian masterdoc and following#fiasco. but at the same time that wasn't the original intent of compulsory heterosexuality the actual feminist term#this is just me complaining about how social media butchers theory tho unless they are specifically naming Rich and the many other feminist#who wrote about heterosexual marriage as an institution I won't bother lesbians for venting frustration about neoliberal erasure of lesbian#the original theory sure didn't claim lesbians were immune to all this misogynistic violence but the term was never exclusively about them#and tended to ask more of 'where do we stand as women and feminists as a group much more interested in destroying heterosexual marriage than#simply making it more bearable?'#this got a little messy and senseless I'm tired#.txt
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