#excellent ask

[frownyalfred]

You know the "all osha regulations come from blood" thing? I like to imagine the exact thing happens with the Justice League. The list of protocols and rules goes on so long but every single one has a story behind it.

Some of them seem out of place, or down right useless. New members often scoff at the trainings they're tasked to attend.

One of the regulations involves a required emergency survivalist kit on every space craft the Leauge owns, and requires routine inspections of said kits. New members get stuck with that bit of maintenence, and often complain "there's no reason it'll ever be needed." That is, until a begrudged Batman plays a video from the time Aquaman, Flash, and Wonder Woman got stuck on an ice planet with no vegetation or wildlife and they nearly froze to death.

Those who can fly ask why they need to attend trainings on emergency landing procedure. Any founding member gladly points to the framed front page Daily Planet article on the wall. It documents the island-sized crater Superman made after being super-punched back into the atmosphere a few years back.

And so on.

If you kill a civilian, knowingly, out of outright negligence, Batman will be out for blood. You'll be kicked off the League if you're lucky. You're an adult and you should know better. Every single rule and contingency he has in place is either because someone fucked up once, or they're like to fuck up someday.

Over time, those same cocky new members slowly realize that Batman is the one cleaning up after those incidents. He's the one who pays off the families and replaces the equipment. He quietly settles lawsuits and pays for future medical care. He repairs buildings and offers grants to displaced civilians. And then he goes up to the Watchtower, writes up the new regulation, and has to live with that kind of responsibility all over again. Because now they know better. Now there's a rule, and god willing, this won't happen again.

Being stupid, being cocky, just simple ignoring the rules briefly -- it all has a cost. And usually, that cost is borne by the flesh-and-blood humans, not the metas, aliens, or gods. Humans.

[nartothelar]

rebellion

[acapelladitty]

Hey Ditty, do you have any suggestions for what makes a really good Ozzie? I love the more gentlemanly vibes from BTAS but I've always had a soft spot for DeVito Penguin taking a bite out of some dude's nose out of nowhere.

In my humble opinion, I like an Ozzie who is simultaneously a patron to his fellow rogues but also one of the most ruthless and dangerous people to cross.

Like, you need to establish some smuggling routes into Gotham? Ozzie will help (for a price). You want to set up a meeting with Scarecrow to discuss business terms? Ozzie will help (by providing a bugged room). You want a favour? Ozzie will help (and call in that favour when it suits him).

As long as you play by his rules then he's fair but the moment someone betrays or tries to outplay him then he's absolutely ruthless. He will never forgive a slight and anyone who crosses him will find that out the hard way as everything they hold dear is ripped away from them and destroyed.

Ozzie will play the role of benevolent patron with a gentleman's grace that belies the very genuine danger that curdles within his chest.

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

additional fuck marry kill: rita, cage, blue alpha mimic. i trust you have Thoughts on this one already. personally i would kill cage bc he’s into that kind of thing

You’ve got me in a devilish trap. If I kill the alpha and get its blood on me, which lets be real im not skilled enough to avoid that, I end up in the worst situation anyone can imagine—becoming the third person ever to experience the loop. Which means I would inevitably end up in a billrita poly situationship. Shudders

On the other hand billrita survival is important to me…yes cage is into dying but only in a controlled environment where he knows it won’t be the end. Outside of that his interest in death looks less fun and more like a death wish. My answer I guess would be highly specific. If Cage currently had alpha or omega blood, I’d kill him, knowing he’d probably be fine. And I’d make it really sexy it would be great. Marry rita, fuck the alpha really quickly before it managed to kill me. If that wasn’t an option, I’d probably bite the bullet, sacrifice myself to a near-eternity of resets & end up becoming a miserable member of the Worst People Ever gang but hey at least i’d get to supervise the babygirlification of bill Cage (fuck) with my emotionally constipated guywife rita vrataski (marry)

[areacodefan]

I have a question for you.

If you could have ANY (and I mean any) superpower in the universe,

a. which one would you want?

b. why do want it?

c. what would you do with it?

Oh wow. Anything huh? Okay… truthfully it’s probably best I don’t have any superpowers because I would likely misuse them — not to be an asshole but because I would get carried away. BUT since this is merely hypothetical…

a. Invisibility

b. It would be cool to go/be anywhere any time I wanted

c. I would travel all over the world to take from the rich and give to the poor (including myself), I would leave surprise gifts for my friends, I would find ways to expose evil people and their bad deeds by following them for evidence, I would sneak into concerts and movie sets and such, and generally anything to take care of my loved ones and make the world a kinder, healthier, happier place.

Your turn!

[smatterbrained]

Optimus should just bite Megatron really really hard that would fix a lot of things 

No.. I fear that would create a whole new problem

[bluerosefox]

Her Astrophel and Sterling

hmmm

Hmmmmmmmm

You know what.

You know those AU's where the Batfam finds or learns about either hidden or thought to be dead Al Ghul Danny! with a deaged/daughter Dani (Ellie) (I should know, I created a few of those storylines) but what if, now hear me out, what if instead of them finding Danny first its Talia.

Do I want Talia discovering her thought to be dead son to be alive? Yes. Do I want her to find him while investigating Amity Park when the League gets reports of 'Lazarus creatures/water'? Yes.

DO I WANT HER TO KNOCK ON THE FENTON'S DOOR, fully ready to pretend/honey talk her way into the house to uncover what the Fenton's know, ONLY TO MEET A LITTLE ELLIE?!

YES.

Ellie whose eyes and hair look like a copy of her Beloved but she can see bits and pieces of herself as well. Talia knows the child in front of her was not fully her's though but everything makes sense when she hears a voice, a voice she hasn't heard in ages but as a mother just knows, speak out.

"Ellie! I thought I said do not answer the door my Sterling."

"But Daddy, yous was busy fighting the hotdoggys!"

Talia's eyes widen when she finally catches sight of familiar black hair and blue eyes.

and she could only lightly whisper a old nickname she hasn't dared uttered in ages, a name she secretly gave her son due to his love of the stars "Astrophel..."

[potato-lord-but-not]

Noel seems to be the one comforting people pretty often, I think he deserves a quick menty b (and some comfort from his boyfriends)

woagh ourthur comic be upon ye

Arthur probably spent 20 minutes trying to get this man to finally break for the night

[lady-harrowhark]

tamsyn muir really said "knowing who's narrating is a privilege, not a right"

[livwritesstuff]

Honestly, Eddie doesn’t know why it had taken so long for him to realize his and Steve’s children could understand the shit that came out of his mouth.

(It took an embarrassingly long amount of time).

Even when Moe’s third or fourth word was fuck, he didn’t realize it (and she was using it mostly correctly too, which should have been a serious flag, but nope).

What made him realize it was when they started repeating the shit that came out of his mouth. 

To strangers.

In public.

The first time Eddie had been really caught off guard by something one of his daughters said was when Moe, who was three at the time, had proudly announced to an unsuspecting grocery store cashier, “Daddy says my Papa’s a DILF!”

And, like, Eddie had just heard the term for the first time, and obviously he was goddamn delighted by it because…duh. Steve. 

It just hadn’t occurred to him that his toddler might have caught it too, but little pitchers have big ears, or so the proverb suggests, and Eddie had taken it as a wake-up call that Moe isn’t a baby anymore (tragic as it may be).

He’s not the only problem though – Steve is just as bad, (if not worse, because he really doesn’t bother to check where their kids are before he starts running his mouth).

One particularly damning incident was at a restaurant, which is something they don’t even do all that often because, seriously, going to a restaurant with very young kids should be an Olympic event or something.

(The last time they all went out to eat, Nancy and Robin had made a drinking game out of all the times Steve and Eddie had to take a child to the bathroom and ended up so far gone that Eddie had needed to drive them home).

The incident started with the waitress asking, “Can I get you started with anything to drink?”

And it had ended with four-year-old Moe confidently announcing, “My Papa needs a fucking margarita.”

Thank god, the waitress had been a twenty-something college student and thought it was hilarious, but Steve had still been completely mortified.

[hellsitegenetics]

This blog feels like if every so often a wizard showed up to your party or gathering, silently listened to your conversation, and then very loudly summoned a creature or a plant based on whatever was said

String identified: T g t a a t at gatg, t t t cat, a t a cat a at a at a a

Closest match: Caldifermentibacillus hisashii strain FSL W8-0983 chromosome, complete genome

[frownyalfred]

a concept, brought to you by my love of bruce whump + batfam meets the jl fics, and no small amount of irritation that bruce seems to be the only one taking project cadmus completely seriously in jlu:

bruce has to call in the rest of the batfam (dick, tim, cass, and steph - jason hasn’t come back yet which also means no damian) for some battle or catastrophe or something, and the justice league is super excited to meet his ‘associates’, so afterward they’re all kind of jabbering questions at the batkids, but bruce, who is paranoid, traumatized, and hasn’t slept in three days, throws himself between his kids and the league in flat-out terror (bc if the jl could kill him without thinking about it, his babies don’t stand a chance). maybe j’onn is the only one who recognizes why batman is projecting ‘one more step and i’ll rip your throats out with my teeth’ which somehow leads to the revelation that batman is a baseline human and maybe makes the jl consider why ‘we’re the good guys’ is not much of a reassurance for world governments.

(‘i’m scared of what you could do if you lost control bc i know exactly what you’re capable of. imagine what someone without that knowledge would think, and remember that humans are very good at coming up with/planning for worst case scenarios’)

I always think of Bruce seeing Clark or Diana reaching to shake Dick’s hand (Robin Dick, or even freshly Nightwing) and literally throwing himself in front of Dick because sure, Diana broke his arm the first time she shook his hand but that wasn’t her fault, she didn’t realize he wasn’t a meta and Bruce never corrected her. but. she’s about to do the same thing to Dick and no one knows what’s about to happen except Bruce—

[apostatehobolife]

Solas after your trials and fighting Elgar'nan clearly compensating for something archdemon, are you getting rest. You looked so tired?

I am well. Easy fight.

[sirspeep]

[ilovepannacotta]

Ling and the baddie he pulled out by being goofy and silly.

(Doodles after the cut)

They are just two dorks in love

[cubbihue]

Since Peri has problems with flight does irep also have them or is he fine

Irep's a talented flyer actually! While Peri's wings feels heavy for him to use, Irep's are light as a feather. He's an expert at navigating the air, and can outdo even a Pixie in flight!!

This has made him all sorts of popular and unpopular among jock-like fairies.

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