#this ask also spawned two other drawings but those are going in different posts

[potato-lord-but-not]

Noel seems to be the one comforting people pretty often, I think he deserves a quick menty b (and some comfort from his boyfriends)

woagh ourthur comic be upon ye

Arthur probably spent 20 minutes trying to get this man to finally break for the night

[bloogers-boogers]

Forbidden Power AU. This AU focuses on Michael, it's the end of all Creation, all thanks to Lucifer's Spawn. Michael's final attempt to fix everything is to Disturb their father Only To Discover that his father is dead and has been dead for what looks like years there is still hope his father may be dead but his Authority can still be used... All angels authorities are held in Halos and God is no exception... Michael has a halo So he can go back and fix everything... The issue is the darkness in his heart, his Desire for the First man... Originally he was going to leave Almost everything unchanged...but this is an Opportunity he never did get or never should have had...can he stay on the noble path...ya No Michael has bin the good boy all his Existence and he will continue to be the good boy But he will be so when it comes to Adam and make Adam Exactly how he wants him to be

Hopefully this ask is for me and not mistaken for another blog shsiwbdjiwe do not get me wrong I love the guitarhero ship but I haven't posted anything about them aside from the drawing I made for @/ironbatpaperturtle (and my adamsapple fic) so I have a feeling that maybe this ask wasn't for me 😭

I should tho... like write more of them cause ngl I really like them together but my whole view on those two is far different than @/ironbatpaperturtle's Michael and Adam ahdjendiw

BUT if this anon is for me then I appreciate you for sharing me your au whdjwkdjdwoek 💖 now, with all that said let me proceed on actually answering you.

Omygod. Okay first, I think the God being dead for the longest period is such an interesting concept I read something similar like this before in a fic (adamsapple) called 'the devil you know /by anglotron' so I like it, kinda explains why angels would be put in so much work (do drastic choices) if God isn't there to guide them and solve things for them or just get involved but I also love the concept of him not giving a f*ck shjsiahdwiwbs after Lucifer's fall/betrayal he was just left hopeless for anything; his most "perfect creation" (Adam) corrupted by evil and then his most "perfect angel" turned out to have been the one to bring said corruption. (he may still care for Michael and Jesus tho but like it's hard for him to care about the rest) and letting all his children figure it out themselves (poor Sera), like, I can picture him just as depressed like Lucifer in the show issisofksos but unlike him who copes with making ducks, God just lays in the couch mopping about how disappointed in humanity he is and how "perfect" everything was before he planted the damn apple on earth, while he bosses Michael and maybe Metatron too (tho with him he's a lot more harsher bc he was previously human and he's kinda just bitter about them in general, but he's proven his worth enough) around to bring him shit like ice cream or junk food (tho he could easily just summoned all those things he subconsciously just wants company and Michael is there to bring it to him the only angel that has not yet disappointed/maintain loyal to him). So yeah.

Anyways — I still like the concept of God actually being dead. Like when you say Michael has a halo do you meant like he holds on to God's halo? Cause that's kinda cool af, imagine him just holding on to the halo of God (maybe even pitifully hopeful their father would return 'saving it for him') so he just has the halo on him and everyone just "oh shit this motherfucker really could just end it all if he wanted to" but Michael just doesn't cause 'with great power holds big responsibility' type of mentality and I think it'd be funny if Lucifer confronts heaven and is in a determined search for Michael to provoke him and remind him he's still the most perfect of all God's creation (mosty just salty as hell bc Michael cast him to hell lmao) and then when he finds Michael he like comes up with a taunting comment about how bad heaven turned out to be Yada Yada that neither realm is perfect or better than the other, and BAM suddenly his eyes drifted to Michael's head and recognizes the halo.

"Is that—...!"

"Yeah," Michael simply states defeated in his chair, unfazed by his brother arrival, from all the chaos going on, his people being murder, just, done, "father's gone, Lucifer."

So they just stare at eochother in silence, Lucifer with a stunned almost hurt expression and Michael with a nonchalant one. After the realization hitting him like a truck Lucifer realizes there was no end to the chaos released to all realms after Charlie unintentionally brought it to them if God wasn't there to fix it all...

Fear overwhelming him now cause he was kinda chilled out about the whole thing knowingly God would have to intervene soon because heaven was also being attacked by evil- but now realizing he's dead, it like hits him hard, mostly worried for his daughter's fate more than anything else.

Then, another thing hits him, "wait! What aren't you doing anything?! You can fix this, Michael! You have father's power, we can-"

Michael lifts his hand to signal him to stop, "I'm not planning to do anything."

"WHAT?!! Do you realize your people are also being attacked!"

"Your daughter brought this among ourselves, now, she must find her way to solve it."

"But she won't be-"

"Silence. If she was able to bring it to us then she's more than capable of putting it back. If not, that's no longer my problem"

"YOU-!"

"No, Lucifer," he stands up, the power of God emitting through his aura, the millions of eyes on him, big six graceful wings extended to show their full on glory, eyes bright like the intensity of a star. His voice was much more deeper and cold, distant, detached, "I lost everything because of your silly dream of free will, and now redemption. Look at where it lead us, prove me wrong this time, if it doesn't succeed then it was meant to be that way. Accept your fate.

I would create something new, something different. Something that won't betray its kind. No longer you existing. It will be perfect."

Lucifer felt so tiny now. That was no longer the brother he once knew. Not the caring, gentle, protective fiercely warrior that he once was.

Only filled with rage, grief and pain.

Michael... is dead too.

But anyways with all that, somehow lets say both Charlie and Lucifer mange to remind Michael of his love for the countless souls left at his hands to care and protect. And I dunno maybe a song too ahdhdiqgsjahsia and what gets the cake is Michael seeing Adam alive, behind the two, who somewhat stumble across their intervention in a 'bad timing'.

"Hey bitch you forgot your tampon— oh shit! Wrong room," Adam (now sinner) appears at the door oblivious of the whole deal.

"Adam!" Charlie shouted annoyed as they were already, almost, having a heartfelt moment between her father and Michael.

Michael eyes watered, "ADAM!" He pushes past Charlie and Lucifer who are now just confused as fuck seeing how Michael (filled with new growing hope) crushes Adam in a big hug with all the intensity of his power and somehow it was till so gentle and careful that it didn't kill Adam.

And the first man just there struggling to get loose while also suffocating.

Idk I just like Michael still having to be the hero even in circumstances where he doesn't want to. So the universe just grants him a purpose for he to keep following up God's title for him. If he wasn't gonna do shit because he lost Adam? Then BAM! Sinner Adam is now a thing so keep your ass moving Michael!

Michael now wants to fix things up to keep Adam safe; his new purpose (reason) on protecting heaven, his people and the countless souls God left him in charge with.

[meekmedea]

roommates

Inspired by @tumblingghosts comment about the troublesome trio moving in with one another.

Funnily enough, I was rereading an old fic of mine and I can't believe I didn't make these 3 roommates in that AU. Nia & Clemmie had moved in while Felix lived like a floor or two above them. Close enough tho... right?

Anyways, the idea of the trio moving in together wouldn't be happening for some time. Post Academy days, maybe for their University years?

Felix probably spawns the idea during finals. "Wouldn't it be funny if we..."

At first, it's like a joke. "Let's go look at this open house!" They pretend to be interested when they visit the listings. But then the more places they look at, the more they're like...it's not that bad of an idea.

The original plan is to get an apartment. But then they started talking rooms. Obviously they each get a bedroom. Then there's all sorts of other things they want in their shared home and suddenly an apartment is too small for them.

Back to the drawing board. Maybe they go the route the Plinths did in TBOSAS? They buy 2 flats and convert it into a penthouse? Or they could directly go the penthouse route.

How they convinced their parents is a miracle - I wish I could explain it too. Maybe it was a combination of good grades + not being kidnapped/getting into that much chaos.

Endymion asks if he should set up speed-dial for emergency services on their landline. (He's only half joking.)

`

Location-wise:

Maybe not the Corso - it's pricey and all the well-off families are there. Which means everyone pretty much knows everyone and they'll probably be sort of 'spied on' by nosy socialites.

Their parents/relatives are probably slightly disappointed about this though.

Downtown maybe? It's the centre of everything and they're young, they want to have a certain degree of freedom but also not be super isolated from everyone.

Other Reactions:

Livia is a bit disappointed that Clemmie never thought to ask her to move in together. She (probably) wouldn't have said 'yes', but it's the thought that counts, you know?

Livia also rubs in Coryo's face that she was invited first to the penthouse once the trio has moved in.

Coryo resists the urge to throttle Felix when he becomes unbearable in 'insinuating' that obviously Clemmie likes him as a friend way more. This is probably also one of those times that Clemmie pretends not to know either boy because you'd think she's only allowed to have one male friend by the way they're acting.

President Ravinstill is a bit concerned about the possible consequences - he's unfortunately well-accquianted to the chaos the trio can get into.

You know how Endymion joked about putting emergency services on speed dial for the trio's landline? Pres. Ravinstill takes that a LOT further. He decides to put down the order that IF anything happens to the trio's place, heads will roll if they don't make it first priority.

The crime rate around their block is at an all-time low once the trio moves in.

The Trio Living Together:

Cooking - it's take out for the first few weeks. Or like leftovers from when they visit their family. Very basic cooking (on Felix + Iphigenia's end), Clemmie can cook a bit better - mostly due to her past life. Also Endymion made sure his daughter knew how to cook at least 2 dishes from the family cook before letting her go off.

After a while, they come to a conclusion: we should learn to cook. (1) School has barely started and already becoming a regular at the local restaurant isn't exactly an accomplishment... (2) I'm getting tired of take out + leftovers.

Definitely some trial and error with cooking. Some days are better than others. Nia takes measurements very seriously (it's okay, Nia. A pinch of salt is really just a pinch.) Felix does not. (Felix, please. There is a difference between 1 tablespoon of salt and 1 teaspoon of salt.)

Weekends can be very busy or empty in the penthouse. They're often visiting their families for lunch/dinner. Or they're getting ready to go out.

Cleaning - neither of the trio are super messy and do clean up after themselves. But they also have a maid that comes in on Wednesdays to clean. (Their parents made them agree to this - they weren't sure if these 3 could live alone and survive.)

Bonus:

Despite their parents' jokes, there's no freak fire/flooding in their first semester at University. Technically.

There may or may not be an incident where the fire station was called right after their finals season. It was small, promise. It didn't even make the news.

More AU thoughts/rambles can be found here :)

[artacetinker]

Hey guys I’m back

Been forever

Let’s ignore that

Moving on

Haha the image is pink

Coquette pressure am I right?

This is a new hyperfixation

So naturally the oc come

She is nameless but also unfinished so I mean it doesn’t matter right now

She is an orca, beluga, humpback whale, whale shark, jellyfish and cyerce elgans (it’s a type of sea slug or nudibranch whatever you prefer to call it)

She’s bioluminescent I’ll draw that somehow

She’s about 8 foot something so massive but still smaller than Sebastian who I will also draw at some point

I haven’t got her lore fully figured out but she’s supposed to be like the perfect siren or something along those lines. Her voice can reach a bunch of different frequencies that a human’s obviously can’t thanks to the various whale DNA and it can mess with things like radio equipment or stuff that uses radio waves to operate. Urbanshades plan was to broadcast her voice in and around the land vet zone probably using the trenchbleeders when they were still active to deter submarines that tried to enter the land vet zone. Therefore no one would know about the Hadal Blacksite and Urbanshade could keep being illegal crazy scientists without anyone finding out. Win-win except for the experiments

In the present game, she kind of swims about outside the windows and occasionally you can find her in rooms with the side rooms like the ones with the couches. The door will usually be broken and you’ll have to crouch to get in. She’ll be sat in those and she’ll say hi. She’ll then give you data/research because "theres a shopkeeper by the name of Sebastian somewhere around Hadal Blackside and he takes this data instead of money. I dont really need it though so you can have them instead incase you find him." The amount will be somewhere between 50-250 research. The more you have the less she’ll give and the less you have the more she’ll give. I think that makes it fair. Maybe. She doesn’t spawn every run and can only spawn in rooms before you reach Sebastian’s shop.

She’s friendly and flashing her with the beacon doesn’t affect her as much as it does Sebastian but she’ll ask you not to do it. If you carry on she’ll take it off you and put it on a shelf that’s too high for the player to reach with a voice line saying "you lost your beacon privileges" or "I’m taking this"

Ambience wise you can hear her singing or you’ll hear the trenchbleeders broadcast her voice which I explained earlier. If heard it sounds like a pod of whales singing. Sometimes it’s close,sometimes it’s distant. All the Trenchbleeders have a chance of broadcasting it durning the airlock section where you have to swim under one but Trenchbleeder Lucy won’t make any during the final searchlights encounter, it would stay the same.

She does have a file. It would either found in Sebastian’s shop or lying around somewhere like with the file on the diVine. If it is in Sebastian’s shop it’ll be in a corner. You can pick it up and after doing so he’ll take it off you with the voice lines "what file is this? I don’t remember seeing this anywhere…Ahhh! Her. Yeah, how about a bargain? This for…..hmm….lets say…500? How does that sound? Do we have a deal?" If you picked yes he’ll do the same thing if you buy his file, you can read it in the menu after you die. If no he’ll say "hmph. Your loss." He’ll then put it on the table next to him and then you can go back to buying his wares or whatever. I feel like because it’s another file he’ll only sell it because it’s more research for him. It’s not 1,000 like his however because his file is obviously about him and his personal stuff…you know what i mean. Maybe.

Her and Sebastian know each other. She pops into his shop occasionally but never in game. He doesn’t say anything about her but she probably has a voice line or two about him. They get along well. p.AI.nter might have a voice line about a "big spotty lady".

She’s my silly and I love her

I might write a file for her

I’ll post her with clothes on, I’m drawing it now and I’ll definitely draw more Pressure stuff in general.

[naranjapetrificada]

Academic excerpts as a framing device

So in the ask game I've been enjoying today, @piratecaptainscaptainpirates asked an interesting bonus question about the academic blurbs I've been including at the start of each chapter of From the Firmament that I started answering on that post, but things quickly go long enough to merit their own post so here it is! The question (as such) was:

(also, I was just re-reading From the Firmament and I will never be over the academic article excerpts. They're just such a neat and fun inclusion! I'd love to hear about your process while writing them, how you go about working them in with each chapter's themes, etc.)

Whatever specific idea that spawned the fic itself is now lost to the vicissitudes of ADHD memory, but it was born in the context of a lot of Thinking About Tropes in ways that were new to me at the time. In particular I was interested in a different first meeting, specifically one that involved Stede actually visiting the Queen Anne or being taken captive by the QAR crew, and Ed having to react to Stede under those circumstances.

I started playing with a draft in that vein that I'm going to come back to at some point, but the other trope I got really interested in (both as a reader of fic and also just like, intellectually) was arranged marriage. Basically every version of that I could imagine required an entirely different world than the canon one, and once I started casting about for the right circumstances I started thinking about history a lot.

The academic blurbs started as a worldbuilding crutch when I was first trying to get the fic together at the beginning, and it was easier to gather all that kind of information in a "just the facts" format when starting out. They started taking on a more concrete form when my thoughts about history intersected with 1) stuff I'd read before, 2) stuff I was reading at the time, and 3) a joke that got out away from me.

1) Two of my favorite novelists period are K.J. Parker (who I've mentioned at least once in the fic's notes) and Guy Gavriel Kay, both of whom are obsessed in their own ways with history in a way that come through in their fantasy work in interesting ways. Kay tends to straightforwardly mention in-world history and historians, without mentioning specific works but making a point to draw attention to the fact that he's speaking from outside of the characters' perspectives. Here is an example passage from Kay's Under Heaven, which is presented in its own separate section between character pov chapters:

It was said to be the case that the emperor's favourite wife, regarded by some later historians dangerously subtle and too influential, played a role in encouraging him to keep that agreement--with a view to securing Kitai's boundaries.

Meanwhile Parker, who includes the names of specific fictional works and specific fictional historians, is more likely to bring up history in the flow of the narrative, when at any time the next sentence could discuss history and/or in-world philosophy:

Saloninus, in the Exceptional Dialogues, speculates about the end of the world. Will it be a great sundering, the sky falling on the land, or a great inundation, the sea gradually rising until the last treetop is drowned, or a great fire, or—Wrong. The end of the world is like this, and a deaf man who couldn’t lipread wouldn’t even realise what had just happened.

I enjoy both of these approaches despite (or maybe because of) their differences, and when you've read as much of either author as I have this sticks with you.

2) at some point after I started playing with the idea that would become FtF and the draft of Chapter 1 coming together, I picked up Parker's Sixteen Ways to Defend A Walled City. One thing I really appreciate about both Kay and Parker is that they almost never tell their stories from the perspectives of rulers (with the occasional exceptions of rulers who began as commoners and are usually, like canon Blackbeard, some combination of bored, overwhelmed, and made miserable by their position at the top). Kay tends to alternate between a few main characters, with individual one-off outsider POV sections, while Parker tends to have several characters whose alternating perspectives cover the whole story. In either case those characters usually span the middle 3/4 of their given society, neither prince nor pauper. People who aren't starving but aren't wealthy, mid-level bureaucrats, low-ranking government officials, generals who we met as lower officers, etc. This was true of that novel, and helped me arrive where I did with Ed and Stede in my WIP's world (yes they're both high ranking, but neither is a ruler as such because that didn't interest me). I think looking at them in the canon world and realizing where I wanted to put them in the world I was building led to point #3:

3) "Wouldn't it be funny if Stede was accidentally incredibly influential?"

In some ways that question is a central question (and joke) in the show itself. Like, this guy shows up and starts doing things differently because he can't help but be who he is, and his desire for the world to be a better place then spreads beyond anyone's wildest dreams? And yeah Stede isn't the catalyst for the end of traditional piracy in the world (that's the British Empire, their culpability as represented by the death of Izzy "The Avatar of Traditional Piracy" Hands), but he is the catalyst for it on board the Revenge. And the place he was able to influence intersects with the wider world after a series of accidents and unlikely events, and even without season 3 (😢) we can see the way the world is changing now.

And how that got out of hand was I started thinking about contexts where accidentally becoming important to history would be the most unexpected (and therefore the funniest) and ended up at republican-era Rome. Something about the pomp and circumstance and veneration of it all, and then here's my favorite little guy with his inherent kindness and autistic whimsy, ready to turn everything on its head.

And from there: the blurbs just became a means to an end and the best way to draw attention to that joke. I couldn't stop imagining people talking about Stede Bonnet the way they do about Rome and laughing about it, so here we are.

As for your process questions: I tend to write them on their own, whenever a given topic seems interesting or like something that could fit into the world. The blurb in chapter one kind of just sets the stage for things, but when I first wrote it it was significantly longer and was much more about the documents cache it mentions, because at the time I was thinking about historical document preservation. Since it needed to be much shorter and kick things off I just reshaped what I had to serve my purpose. I do still have plans to incorporate the rest of it later!

The second one came from thinking about Edward "Daddy Issues" Teach's relationship with violence and how having a father who is different from canon was still going to allow violence and daddy issues to still intersect. The idea for the arrows it describes is lovingly (if shamelessly) borrowed from the Parker book I mentioned above, in an attempt to create a situation where Ed could still have (misguided) ideas about the capacity for violence being something inherent about a person.

Lastly, I'll say that while I'm not intending the opening blurbs as obvious statements of purpose for the chapters that followed, they do fulfill a worldbuilding purpose relevant to where they show up in the story. So the first one is, by necessity, an introduction, and the second one is both meant to inform and remind everyone of the bad blood that exists between the parties trying to bridge the gap between them with the marriage. I won't say yet what the third one is but I will say that I've foundered way too long working on Chapter 3 because I didn't immediately establish which one I wanted to open the chapter with. So they're important scaffolding, important worldbuilding, and in the way of worldbuilding they'll be relevant to later things when those things come up.

Thank you so much for asking this question, it was super fun and helpful to nail all of this stuff down like this and get it out of my head!

[techno-in-a-boat]

HEY YOU

YES YOU

GO WATCH ROSHAMBO

if that wasn't convincing enough please stay for a minute to listen to all the reasons you should.

First off. what the fuck is a roshambo, you may be asking.

A roshambo is another name for rock, paper, sissors. In this case Roshambo, or roshambogames, is a minecraft youtuber.

What does he post?

Minecraft content! He does partly Lifesteal (elaborated on in the nxt bit) and just. general minecraft things. Usually with other servers he doesnt post regularly about.

Whats a lifesteal?

Its a minecraft server where when you kill people you steal a heart. Cue antics.

Read more about it here

How often does Ro upload?

From what it seems about 3ish months between uploads give or take. So its about. mid length wait times between videos. not too bad.

What are the videos like?

Theyre all. kinda structured like english papers imo. They're usually going over a single event and have EXTREMELY clear beginning/middle/end stuff. like you can plot this stuff out on those plot diagrams with ease. Theres two parts to the voicing, future ro (the voice over during editing that goes 'but he didnt know what was about to happen' and stuff like that.) and actual voicechat footage from the game. standard stuff. Typical Ro video activities are: doing something ridiculously grindy/needs a shitton of setup and the setup is like. most of the video. "and then.. i lost everything". Ro talking abotu how he had a test the next day but he did not sleep nor study for it because he needs to do minecraft. and other such things. its quite lovely

How often does he steam?

According to my sources (crowdsourced off tumblr) infrequently

What are his streams like?

(thanks to @/aroaceacacia and @/pendelphine for giving your insight to his streams through tumblr tags)

apparently highly Goofy and Silly. there is kpop music. why is there kpop music. who is letting this happen. how is he not getting copyright striked. it is silly messing around time and ro has all the fun silly shit imaginable. From the one vod i watched the vibes of the silly goofy streams are. VERY different to the vibes of the yt videos. he apparently also does non silly streams that are closer to the yt videos but theyre . rare.

What if Ro good at in game?

He grinds. he builds big ass elaborate traps. Hes turned spawn to obsidian once. Not afraid to gaslight gatekeep girlboss. Mostly just the fucking intense recource gathering and traps. like jfc man what the fuck. hes also gotten rid of the end that one time. yeah dont worry about it

Where can I go watch this awesome amazing youtuber?

Yt Channel

Lifesteal Playlist

Should I watch Roshambo?

Absolutely

Can we get a bonus Roshambo drawing?

Of Course!!!

(Apart of @pacificseaotter 's lifesteal propaganda project)

[unlimitedtrees]

the earliest build i have from my very first game, 'Mr. Waffle Lover'

wat da freak ... im about to make Three posts in a row ?? impossible... so Hi. in case u havent seen my Last Big Post, one of my first projects was a game called 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. it started in early 2014 until late 2017 and it went through Tons of wildly different iterations. and also, if u read da last post youd know i lost nearly All of those builds of the game.

Despite losing like, 3 years of my own history, ive managed to find a few builds from multiple iterations of my game, with this one being the earliest iteration i have. this is the Third iteration of the game's development.. and there isnt a whole lot to say about it. it is a Very Basic, Very Primitive platformer made by an 11 year old. this build in particular has only Two levels . i Think more were made at some point, but it's hard to remember. at one point, i made a ""mobile version demo"" of the game for the tablet i had at the time (the game did not work on it), and thats the version u see in the video i posted. For Some Reason, i decided to strip any other level that may have existed in the game and just made it a demo even though i was the Only Person who could play the game.. so i dont have much from this iteration. i Do have an Earlier build that i put on github, but there isnt a whole lot of differences to this demo version.

Anyways, i think, for the rest of this post, imma go a little in depth about the Origins of this game and what it was actually Supposed to be .. click the Read Me thingy if u Dare !!!

So, it all started in 2013 . i was a Bored little creature who liked to draw things and was Deep into Minecraft for the Xbox 360. and one day i created a little comic with a character called 'Mr. Waffle Lover'.. And He Looked Like This:

That's Right , my very first OC is Just a skin from one of the minecraft xbox 360 edition skin packs. this was the skin i played as a lot back then, and 'Mr. Waffle Lover' was my self insert in the comic. why is he called 'Mr. Waffle Lover' you may ask? because i liked to eat waffles a lot. that became his main character trait. Eventually, when the game became A Thing, i would slowly change his design from just a copy of a minecraft skin, first giving him heterochromia and Gloves which spawned TNT, then later giving him a yellow shirt to match with his love for waffles, and then i just make him a Girl (but That is a story for Another Day . .. )

Anyways , on my birthday in 2014 i got a windows 8 laptop, and then in october i learned about construct 2 and decided i Needed to make a video game. ever since i was a fetus ive always wanted to make a video game,, with one of the earliest ideas for a game i remember having is when i was like 5 and wanted to make 'New Sonic the Hedgehog Wii' (a copy of New Super Mario Bros. Wii but featuring multiple colored Sonics).

ANYWAYS , one of the first video games i ever made was Mr. Waffle Lover......... Well Actually, Technically that is not true, as a few months before i tried using some Random in-browser game program that i dont remember the name of to make something called the 'Egg Game'... but it never went anywhere beyond me putting a stock Egg image into the program and then giving up.

my initial inspiration for making a game about the Mr. Waffle Lover character was when i played a game called 'Ms. Splosion Man' on the xbox 360. i thought the game play was interesting but i got stuck at one of the puzzles so i was like 'I Want to make this game but Better and with MY character !'. And So, i thought of the idea of Waffle Lover having Gloves that spawn TNT that he uses to jump high like in Ms. Splosion Man....... but i never got to actually implement it until the 'mid 2015' build that i posted earlier... and i removed it entirely afterwards and just made the game a Basic 2D Platformer for awhile.

so yea. this game was supposed to be just a simple 2d platformer featuring my sort of self insert OC based off a minecraft skin. there wasnt really much to it conceptually... just wanted to make a video game! that's all my ideas were at the time.. the only "Story" this game has is 'Waffle Lover gets his Waffles stolen by some Scientist People and he needs to Stop Them !!!!'. the game eventually got some sort of story over time... but for now all u need to know is that this game is A Game that I Wanted To Make. it doesnt get purer than that.

with the first iteration of my game being my first game Ever, i had No Idea how to do things. all of the small sprites were stretched out to fit the HD screen resolution, making everything blurry. the gameplay was Very Basic and the levels were simple. the HUD didnt even stay centered on the screen... instead it used the 'pin behavior' to be pinned on the player object (which did not work and the HUD would move around the object). And the worst aspect of it was that i did Not know how to make layouts in construct 2 use other event sheets or Objects from other layouts..... meaning every layout (meaning every level) uses Completely Different programming And objects .... Not Only That , but i only had the Trial version of construct 2 at that time.... so i could only use 100 'events'... meaning i could only put So Much code in the game before i reached the limit (and with every level using its own separate events for everything, i ran out of events Pretty Quickly and couldnt make any more levels.

I So Desperately Wish i could show that first iteration of the game with you. it was Very Weird and Bad but it was so Lovely. to say the least.. it was quite the learning experience ! I can Vividly remember me making the very first layout in the game,, with it just being the Waffle Lover sprite moving around a white background and a bunch of badly placed collision objects. it was a Sight to Behold . But Sadly... when i decided to completely redo the game, i deleted the whole project file for it, and its pretty much Lost forever now. the only remains are some random sprites from it i still have... other than that there Was a trailer i made for it once and i Think i released a demo for it once... but both of those are Long gone now.

anyways. for the second iteration of the game i decided to make it an ""HD"" version of the game, using higher resolution sprites and a 3d animated version of Waffle Lover.... However this 3d version is Actually just a minecraft skin of him made in Mine-imator, an Old 3D animating software Exclusively made for making minecraft animations. So , the game had a bunch of bad tilesets and a badly animated prerendered sprite of a minecraft skin for its player character. i dont remember much from that point of the game's development other than it did not last very long and it looked Funny. i dont even think it got past one level... as i struggled with making high resolution art (i only had ms paint and construct 2's built in image editor, so, yea). i Think everything from that era of the game's development is Gone, HOWEVER i THINK i might have the files for the Mine-imator animations Somewhere... maybe. i Think i saw the files on my old laptop for some mine-imator project but i was unable to open them and i dont know if i saved them anywhere so. Idk.

and now, this leads us to the Third iteration of the game... which is the one i showed in this post. as you can see in the video, i finally figured out how to make pixel art look not blurry. i also figured out how to make different layouts use the same event sheets. i even figured out how to make a HUD... incredible ! other than all of that, there's not much to say about it. it's just not as silly looking as the earlier iterations were... and its not really Fun to play. its not even all that janky.. its just basic. i worked on it for awhile, but then i gave up on it and moved onto the mid 2015 iteration.. and the rest of the game's history is a story for Another Time..

if there's anything i can say about this old game.. it's that you can Definitely see how much ive grown since then. whoever is reading this, i Really hope this is not your first introduction to my work.... cus my stuff nowadays is Insane compared to this... a lot has happened in the like, 8 years since ive started game development. and i have so much stories i want to share,,, i hope i can keep sharing those stories with you. oh and also, if you Really have never heard of my work before... um.... Play UNITRES Dreams on Newgrounds dot com. LOL!!!!!!

That is All i want to talk about for today i think. I Think. hope my posts are comprehensible to u ! Oh , And Before i forget , the build of the game in the video i posted is in the ProjectWaffle google doc archive ... and the Earliest Build i have is on github. check it out If U Wish !

[mybg3notebook]

Astarion and Power - Part 1

Disclaimer Game Version: All these analyses were made up to the game version v4.1.101.4425. As long as new content is added, and as long as I have free time for that, I will try to keep updating this information.

Additional disclaimers about meta-knowledge and interpretations in (post)

The number between brackets [] represents the topic-block related to (this post), which gathers as much evidence as I could get.

Before talking about Power, Cazador, and other details, I would like to quickly gather what little we have about Astarion’s past. 

Backstory: Mortal Astarion.

About his past we have little information, mostly given by Swen in interviews with game magazines or via his on-live demonstrations of the game early in 2020 before the release of EA. All this information is subjected to changes, of course, so we should take it with a pinch of salt. 

As a mortal, Astarion was a corrupt magistrate who judged criminals he later sent to the local vampire coven of the Szarr family as food. After a while, his greed got the best of him and started to sell those criminals into slavery as well, having a double profit from this. This movement brought the fury of the Szarr family upon him. 

From this short story we can infer that there was a high probability that his judgements were unfair, condemning criminals who needed a death sentence to lighter ones (this is related to his strange comment of “death is a harsh sentence” in Arabella’s scene, see the post Astarion's Standards and Manipulation) while condemning innocent ones; all with the goal of having a decent amount of living creatures to offer to the local vampire or to the slave traders.

We also know, by his own words in game, that when he was turned into a vampire, he had been the victim of an attack of thugs/Gurs (he says this information in different moments of the game, changing details. I don't know if this is on purpose to show Astarion’s manipulative nature depending on your reaction to Gandrel, or it’s a consequence of unpolished details during EA). What we know for sure is that these Gurs/thugs were angry because of a judgement he had previously made. It’s easy for us to infer, using the info above, two situations:

Astarion may have condemned some isolated Gur to an unfair trial who ended up in a slavery network, being discovered later by their Gur fellows who simply avenged them in Baldur’s Gate. This theory has been developed as a way to see fit the concept of Maiden Fel.  If Gandrel dies and Astarion performs a Speak with Dead, he will reveal that Maiden Fel is the head of his tribe who asked him to return with Astarion “unblemished”. Digging for more details about who Maiden Fel is, Gandrel says she is the “reason even monsters have nightmares”. Walking on the speculation ground, there is a chance that Maiden Fel could be a nightmare Hag, since Gurs consider hags as “wise women'', and unlike the rest of the humans, they respect them a bit more than common folks.

Or the whole setting was done by Cazador, who plotted this ambush to make it look as an act of barbarism using furious Gurs (which attack could be seen as an obvious reaction since Gurs are despised everywhere due to their nomadic lifestyle and all the stigmas they carry) as a way to punish Astarion for trying to outsmart him.

Among the many conclusions that we can draw from here is that, if Astarion’s backstory is not retconned and rewritten later in the full game, we can be almost sure he was an Evil-aligned character as a mortal. We can’t say that vampirism twisted his morals; they were rather poor in the first place. 

Astarion, the Vampire spawn

After the bite scene, Astarion presents himself as a vampire spawn, a creature lesser than a slave for his master, since Cazador’s commands are impossible to resist. He explicitly says that his body always reacts to Cazador’s word and for two hundred years he was tormented by him. Thanks to datamining information, we know that Cazador performed an infernal deal, and part of the contract is carved on his back. 

Due to datamining information as well, we know that the first dream that Astarion experiences may not be the one related to the tadpole dreams mechanics since he dreams without having made use of the tadpole powers yet. I prefer to suppose that this dream is product of his own psychology, or even it could be an effect of Cazador’s power on him (maybe he can’t dream of anything but of his Sire, considering how possessive Cazador is)

As I said, this is not a dream of power and desire in the same way that the other companions or Tav have, and for this reason I’m inclined to say that the vampiric power of Cazador is the one making an effect instead of the tadpole (or simply Astarion’s trauma showing). This dream looks like a reminder, like a reiterative dream for Astarion about Cazador’s rule, which are:

rule 1: he will not drink from thinking creatures.

rule 2: he will obey him in all things.

rule 3: he will not leave Cazador’s side unless directed.

rule 4: he will know that he is Cazador’s proprietary.

Most options end up in the similar idea of: “Free? Lie to yourself, boy, but not to me. You are mine, forever.”

Cazador and Astarion

[Astarion has just related what Cazador made him eat] “Flies? What did you do to deserve that?”

“I existed, that was enough for him. He revelled in having power over me, because those with power can do whatever the hell they want.”

If we are going to talk about power with a character as Astarion in mind, we need to talk first about Cazador. Let’s start with the way Astarion describes him:

“The biggest threat to a vampire is another vampire. They're scheming, paranoid, power hungry beasts. So why would any vampire give up control over a spawn to create a competitor? Trust me, it doesn't happen.”

“Cazador Szarr is a vampire lord in Baldur’s Gate. The patriarch of his coven and a monster obsessed with power.(...) Not political power or military power. Power over people. The power to control them completely. (...) He turned me nearly two hundred years ago. I became his spawn and he became my tormentor.” 

“He had me go out Baldur’s Gate to fetch him the most beautiful souls I could find. It was a fun little ritual of his—I’d bring them back and he’d ask if I wanted to dine with him. And if I said yes, he’d serve me a dead, putrid rat. Of course if I said no, he’d have me flayed. Hard to say which was worse.”

“Cazador liked to make them art, spent all night with a razor, drafting a sonnet on my back. (Puppy eyes) Apparently the more I screamed, the more mistakes he made. And the more editing was required.”

“It was a group of Gur/thugs that attacked me that night in Baldur’s Gate. I would have died had Cazador not appeared and saved me. (...) He chased them off and offered to save me. To give me eternal life. Given that my choices were “eternal life” or “bleed to death on the street”, I took him up on the offer. It was also afterwards I realised just how long “eternity” could be.” 

“Cazador likes to toy with people. Let them think there was hope right until the end. Until he snatched it all away. Creatures like them don’t play games unless they know they’ll win.” 

(About Raphael’s encounter) “All that 'take your time. I'll wait' nonsense? He's playing with us. It reminds me of Cazador, taunting his slaves with hope when he knew the game was rigged. "

Tav: “Would he send another Gur to capture?” / Ast: “Yes, he probably thought it was funny.”

(“We can kill him.”) “No, you don't understand. You don't know him. Just trust me when I say we need to be careful. He'll send more lackies – he has plenty of souls to command. We just have to be vigilant. Keep our wits about us. And kill any monster hunters on sight. We can probably make an exception with Wyll... Probably.”

>>So far we know that Cazador has a particular pleasure for control, especially the one related to people’s will. With the nightmare information, we know he has powers related to mind control. He has many slaves, and enjoys cruelty, humiliation, and torture. He enjoys making Astarion eat putrid animals, carving his back with an infernal contract, and playing psychologically with him. He also likes to give false hope, making his victims believe that there is hope, removing it right in front of them. 

I want to highlight that this twisted way of giving hope just to offer a perverted solution to a person’s problem, and enjoying the pleasure caused by the break of the hope, can be seen in Astarion during EA: in the approval that Astarion gives to Tav when you revive Connor, and that pinch of hope in Mayrina turns into horror when she sees Undead!Connor. For Astarion this situation is “funny”. Similar can be said when he approves telling Arabella’s parents that she will be released after the end of the ritual, when she is in fact dead. 

Astarion describes a bit more what power we should expect from a Lord Vampire:

Shapeshift: turning into mist.

Calling wolves to do his bidding.

Shrugging off blows.

He “could walk into our camp tonight and kill you with his bare hands.”

Astarion and Slavery

One of the characteristics that so far in EA has got my attention was how little conflict Astarion has with slavery, despite having been his former condition. 

He is apathetic to slavery in the best case, or even supporting it in the worse case. Proof of this can be found in the Myconid Colony, when interacting with a duergar slave. He speaks as if it were a totally useful tool that inspires little sympathy in him, since they don't have consciousness. However, he leaves a quite open question when finally adding “Or maybe not”.

But this “maybe not” is not left to speculation, we can see what Astarion truly feels with a non-Gur human slave in another part of the game: in the Zhentarim hideout. This can be checked with Oskar, the painter slave.

You can free Oskar using persuasion with his kidnapper (Astarion keeps neutral, he doesn’t approve the freeing). Now, if you can buy Oskar by paying the gold directly or by using intimidation to lower the price, it would keep Astarion neutral until the moment of the payment is stated, which he disapproves. At first I thought it was because he was truly against slavery of thinking creatures... but it was not. It was because you are paying a lot of money (we need to remember Astarion is greedy [1] as well, he wouldn’t be a vampire if it weren't for his greed). 

Once bought, if you keep Oskar as a slave, and you demand him to keep silent because "you want your slaves silent unless they are spoken to", Oskar will think it's a joke, and you, again, can use the option "I don't joke with my slaves" and then Astarion will approve. None of these options is under any tag to make them believe they are part of a preformative act to prank Oskar. And this is key... this is not a joke. They are used as your real sentiments and intentions, and Astarion approves them.

These reactions are not random, they make sense with his—until this moment unchanged or retconned—backstory, where he had no problem trafficking with criminals as vampire food and later as slaves to have higher profits. So, these two aspects remain in his vampire nature unaltered: the most important thing is always to have profits, and his relationship with slavery is absolutely fine as much as it gives benefits, it’s useful or at least, gives him some entertainment.

The tadpole

We know the tadpole has a particular effect on Astarion. Unlike the other companions, Astarion doesn’t dream of a person who represents to him both desire and power. Power? undoubtedly, but desire? It’s hard to say. The implied, vague concept that Astarion has been sexually abused by Cazador is there (because we know these dreams are about “sensual” desire as well). 

It’s maybe a consequence of the vampirism and, by extension, of Cazador’s power, that makes Astarion unable to dream of anything else but his master. From the datamining information about the non-tadpole dream of Astarion, in which Cazador lists four rules, we know that the fourth one is about never stopping to be Cazador’s propriety, unable to be free, not even in dreams. Maybe Cazador’s effect also applies to Astarion’s dreams as well (but this is a mere speculation, there is no real proof of it on EA or datamining info so far). 

So when Astarion awakes in the beach and sees that some rules of his vampiric nature have been changed, he gets excited about the tadpole, and unlike the rest of the companions, he doesn’t want to get rid of it. He wants to master it, to have control of it. However, when the opportunity of controlling the tadpole appears with Raphael encounter, Astarion is one of the few companions who is completely against it at first. 

“Raphael is playing with us; Cazador liked to toy with people too. Let them think there was hope right until the end. Until he snatched it all away. Creatures like them don't play games unless they know they'll win.”

In that moment, he claims he won’t change a vampiric master for an infernal one. However, when the first use of the Tadpole causes the first symptoms of transformation evident, Astarion falls in despair: he is scared and, calling for Raphael to take him from the camp, he says a curious phrase: 

“I would choose servitude over oblivion any day”

So, after this moment, he is not completely convinced that Raphael is the true solution to his problem but he is more open to keep him as a plan B if anything else fails. Later he claims that it doesn't matter to be a servant of a devil, because he knows Cazador, and he wants to get rid of his power for good. 

“I won't lie, it's tempting. If I keep the tadpole, I risk transforming into a grotesque monster. If I lose the tadpole, Cazador has control of me, body and soul, and I return to the shadows. It's grim either way, so why not sell what's left of my soul to a devil? Better he has it than cazador. Whatever it's coming we need to have our options open.”

Astarion’s process of seeing the potential of the power of the tadpole increases along the game. It gets higher and wilder. The first instances of the tadpole use are about Astarion discovering how much this tadpole gives him powers he can barely understand. 

“The tadpoles are not so bad at all. (...) First I can walk in the sun, then make people dance like puppets? *laughs * I've certainly had worse days.”

He is not an idiot, he knows that, without control, they will end up turning into mind flayers, so he needs to find something powerful that can give him control over his tadpole. This is the reason why he encourages the use of the tadpole after knowing about the netherese magic containing the transformation via Omellun or Ethel.

Ethel explains that the tadpole had been tampered, so the dialogue goes:

Tav: “It's giving us more time, sounds good to me”. 

Astarion: “Perhaps. And who's to say it can't be tampered with further?” (She said it was netherese magic) “it must be powerful magic to stop the parasite in its tracks, I wonder what else it could do?

At that point in the story, he knows that the netherese magic is powerful enough to contain the transformation: so he is now sure that there is more time to use it. So he will end up being the only companion in EA who encourages everyone to use the power:

“What's not to enjoy (with this tadpole)? I can walk in sunlight, trespass upon any home, manipulate minds – I'm the most powerful vampire in the realms. Granted, the looming doom is an issue, but why not enjoy the benefits while we can?

Despite the nightmares happening after every use of the tadpole powers, Astarion doesn’t want to stop. At this point, he is the only companion who doesn’t want to. 

“The power to twist a mind to your will is worth some nightmares.”

By the end of the game, we are sure that Astarion wants this power without doubts. He revels in the power of mind-controlling people, ironically, despite having suffered so much of it under Cazador’s control. If we see all the situations where Astarion’s mind is controlled, or violated, his reactions will be extremely more aggressive than the other companions. He has suffered it a lot, but by the end of EA he is enjoying being on the other side of that power. 

This post was written on April 2021. → For more Astarion: Analysis Series Index

[onlyfortheplot]

You thought!

S/O who is known as the darling and sweetheart of their school, but really, she’s the devil’s spawn, and if not maybe the devil herself.

Warning: Slight language

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x reader, Tsukishima x reader

A/N: This thought just came to me?? Everything is not what it seems. And the anon who asked for the keep reading thing! Thanks I’ll start doing that from this post! From personal experience. Anyway I hope you enjoy and Ask are OPEN (expect NSFW, i have a few and those take me the longest time)

You remembered, distinctly, the volleyball teams reactions when they had heard that their Captain had finally found a girlfriend

Reactions of shock, amusement and confusion were distributed among the gym. But one thing was decided. This would not last.

You weren’t unknown, per see, by the team, in fact many people in Nekoma knew you as the shy, yet outgoing person, who always had a smile on her face

You were also known for your reputation of receiving the most confessions from the male body, to the point where almost every day a sour-faced first year was turned down

You weren’t labelled as a heart breaker. No, unlike most who had your reputation. You were labelled as the sweet-faced girl who was forced to turn away the male students.

In fact, that was how you met Kuroo. He treated you differently than the rest of Nekoma. He treated you how you actually were. Which, in this case, was not a pink, frilly princess in need of rescue.

Kuroo smirked at the group, leaning a an arm on your shoulder as he gave out his well-known hyena laugh. You gritted your teeth, slightly, as you gave the team a close-lipped smile.

“There is no way Nekoma’s princess would go out with you“ the one with the mow hawk protested. You wanted to slog him just for referring to that nickname.

 “Nekoma’s princess“ Kuroo lifted an eyebrow in amusement, “Is that what you think she is.“ He gave another laugh. You refrained from slogging his jaw too.

“But, really Kuroo how did you,“ the team gave him a once over, then turning to you, “get someone as sweet as her.“ Mutters of agreement varied from the group. 

“Sweet?“ Kuroo asked, outraged, gesturing to you, “This creature. No way.” You gave a forced grin as you laid a hand on his arm, giving him a slight pinch. He whined as you gave him a glare.

“See?“ he pointed, “See that. That is not sweet.“ They all rolled their eyes, instead focusing their attention on you. The one place you didn’t want to be.

“He did’t pay you did he?“ “No blackmail?“ “No free tutoring.“

They listed possible reasons as you kept denying each claim. One after another, every team mate inputted in their opinions.

She clenched her jaw, hands trembling at the annoyance of the teammates. She gave a small, yet apologetic, look to Kuroo and turning back to his obnoxious friends.

You gave them a soft smile, "If you don't shut your goddamn mouths right now, I'll shut them for you."

She watched, half-amused and half-embarrassed as the whole team stared at her with wide eyes

"Y/N"? They sounded betrayed, glaring daggers at Kuroo

"You overgrown feline, its your fault she turned into this," He rolled his eyes, drawing you in by the waist.

"Trust me, when I tell you, that she was never a sweet, princess," He winked at you, "Isn't that right, sweetheart."

You stepped to the side, away from his grasp, and gave him a strong hit to the shoulder

"No, really?" You mocked him, " Remember how we first met?"

Kuroo laughed awkwardly as the team motioned you to continue. With a smile on your face, you looked at them.

"This idiot, thought it would be a great idea to throw small, hearts, at me as a confession." You grimly smiled at the memory, " Small, glitter hearts."

"The words that came out of sweet, Y/N's mouth," he shook his head disappointed, " It would be enough to curdle milk." You rolled your eyes at his theatrical words.

You gave him a look, reminding him of what happened next. He blushed at that.

"Then, I—"

"Okay, you lazy idiots, lets start practice." He called the group as he walked past you. You chuckled. Weakling.

"What happened?" A few teammates stuck around, looking at her with eyebrows raised. You gave an almost devilish smile.

"All I'm going to say, is that what happened that day," Your smile grew even, causing shivers to go down the others spine, "Is going to plague him for the rest of his life."

You dropped the smile, replacing it with your usual soft one, before skipping towards Kuroo.

"F in the chat for Kuroo?"

"F" "F" "F"

They didn’t really care who the person was, but rather the fact that their Tsukki, the salt creator of the team, was able to get a girlfriend in the first place

They bombed with questions.  “How?” “When?” “Why?”

These questions merely irked Tsukki as he pushed you behind him slightly, away from the pointed questions

“Can you guys, I don’t know, shut up?“ he hissed, as you peeked from behind him, staying as hidden as possible.

“But, who would date you, you’re a pain in the ass.“ Kageyama jeered, as Hinata hid a laugh. Tsukishima glared at him, peering behind to see how you were holding up.

Your fists were closed, and a frown crossed your full lips as you stepped in front of Tsukki, revealing yourself to the energetic group.

“Hello, I’m Tsukishima’s girlfriend.“ You emphasized the girlfriend part. You let your frown drop, a sweet, almost angelic smile graced your lips. The group was in utter awe.

How could such a sweet, angelic person, date this monster?

They gave you a confused look, even Daichi was speechless.

“You,“ Tanaka pointed frantically, nudging Noya, “Her.“ They both said , eyes wide.

You gave them a confused look. You pointed to yourself, mumbling a small, “me?”

“Aren’t you the first year’s angel or something.“ Tanaka stalked over to you, hands stuffed in his pants, “I dunno, some first years were saying.“

You swallowed the retort that laid on the tip of your tongue. That nickname was the bane of your existence. Ever since you had gotten a few confessions from some second years, your classmates had labelled you “The Princess of the First Years”

It was a mouthful and a name you had forbidden Kei use, you glared up at him watching as he tired to hide a smirk.

“Yes, but you can call be my name, Y/N.“ Tanaka and Noya teared up, slightly. “A name fit for a princess.“ they bawled together. You gave them an odd look.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.“ Daichi offered a hand to you, which you firmly took, Kei gave a small 'tsk’, as he grabbed you by the shoulder, pulling you closer to him. 

“Are you really dating him?” Hinata blurted out, from behind Kageyama, “But, he’s a meanie! And you’re an angel!”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes.

“Don’t worry, Hinata-kun, I can handle him.” you sweetly said, giving a soft smile.

“An angel.“ Noya cried.

“Oi, shouldn’t we be going to practice?“ Kageyama interrupted, already bored of the non-volleyball related conversation.

“But, where did you two meet?“ Hinata, pushed him away, looking up at you, sparkles in his eyes.

Tsukishima laughed dryly, as he glanced at you. He knew you wouldn’t answer that, not when it would make you look the opposite of what they believed.

“Some things are better left, unanswered.“ you said, a scowl conforming your features, as you balled your fists.

“Tell us,” Hinata whined, looking at his team-mates, “You guys wanna know too right? You guys wanna know how met an angel?” They gave a furious nod.

You sighed, as you look up at Kei, then back at the team.

“I’m not going to tell you, every detail. But, know this,“ you gave a crooked smile, tilting your head as you walked closer to them, “When I met him, I was busy punching the living-life out of a few idiots.” 

They gave you an incredulous look, which soon faded into one of shock, as Tsukki laughed.

“And, may the gods help me, if I hear the word princess or angel and my name in the same sentence,“ you glared a them threateningly , the smile unwavering as you drew closer, “I’ll take you down the memory lane by, showing you what I did, firsthand.“

You drew back, giving a small closed eyed smile.

“I hope that helps,“ you chirped as you walked back to Kei, giving him a short hug, before walking to the bleachers where Kiyoko and Yachi sat.

“Tsukki,” Sugawara clasped his shoulder, giving a firm squeeze, “Good luck.“

[amani-outrider]

oK I am SICK of looking at this, but wanted to post it for V day (also too nervous to post on Ao3 right now) BUT

Renathal/You Rated M  Words:  2413 Impulsively flirting with Renathal during the Ember Court turns into a tucked away make out session because why not!!

-------------

The Ember Court is still humble in the ruined area of Sinfall, but there’s an enjoyment to it regardless. There’s something about taking the time to please guests and do simple tasks like giving them tea that’s a nice break from the earth and realm shattering developments or world-saving. A break is nice. 

But part of it is selfish, you know. You glance at Prince Renathal, dignified in his humble attire, drawing eyes even as he sits tucked away from the main entertainment. He is a powerful figure in Revendreth, so it makes sense they would be looking at him and seeking him out, but just as he is powerful he’s handsome. Maybe not in the traditional sense of beauty standards on Azeroth, but there is a charm about him that’s undeniable. 

You can’t help but watch his profile as he talks to another venthyr, a member of House Primrose, the way his eyes crinkle in polite amusement at something they say, the elegant curve of his nose, the way his lips move as he speaks, flashing those fangs with every word.

You drag your eyes away from them, drawing them back up his face and realizing with a start that those blazing red eyes have slid from the venthyr in front of him to you, piercing in their intensity even from across Sinfall.

You jump and nearly trip over a dredger in front of you, your tray of tea wobbling dangerously in your hands, the tea cups clacking against each other as they slide around. You straighten it out before a real accident can happen thankfully, but your cheeks burn with embarrassment for being caught staring.

“‘Scuse me,” the dredger says, bowing out of the way. 

It’s my fault, you want to say, but they’re already off to take care of other tasks. 

You look around to see if anyone saw your near-accident. Surely that would be some sort of grand faux-pas at a gathering such as this, but if anyone notices or cares, you can’t tell. Temel seems pleased with how things are going and your guests are still happy, so that’s good enough for you.

The tea goes cold before you can hand it all out, most of the guests already have some, but you're not one to slack. They're guests to impress and sway to your side, after all. You head over to the refreshments booth and deposit the tray, ready to exchange for a fresh pot of tea.

"It will be a few moments, Maw Walker," Stefan tells you as Tubbins starts diligently brewing more tea, waving his hand dismissively as if to say 'go do something else in the meantime.'

You turn to walk towards where the guests have gathered for the entertainment, ready to mingle and perhaps judge some souls for their sins with the Accuser, but you end up running into a body in front of you. 

"Maw Walker," it’s Prince Renathal and you can hear the smile in his voice.

Oh no, is your first thought. Anxiety coils in your stomach and you wonder if he's going to call out your staring.

You crane your neck up to look at him. You somehow always forget just how tall he is and that's just another thing about him that is unsettlingly attractive. 

"How are you enjoying the Ember Court today?" He raises a brow, but your eyes are still drawn to his fangs, sharp and dangerous and looming over you. Renathal's smile falters and he looks almost self-conscious as he runs his tongue over his teeth. “Do I have something between my teeth?” 

I’d have to take a closer look, you blurt out with very little tact or grace, fueled entirely by your desire to get up close to him and those fangs. Maybe if you'd planned this out you could have laced the words with a flirtatious tone, but no. This is the best you can offer. (You want to kick yourself.)

You like to think you’ve been subtle with your… fixation on Renathal, a distant appreciation of his looks and convictions as a leader that are both equally enamoring. Afterall, you don’t want to ruin the bond you’ve made with the venthyr or the work to rebuild Revendreth over some silly feelings, but  it’s probably obvious to someone as old as him, someone from a realm that punishes those for desiring, exactly how you’ve felt. And he probably knows what you’re thinking right now as embarrassing as it is, but at worst you can imagine him being amused by your mortal desires.

And sure enough a realization passes through his eyes, brows twitching up briefly and your breath catches either in anticipation or panic as you wait to see which way the scale of his reaction will tip.

“Oh!” He seems genuinely surprised and you can't tell if that's good or not. "Oh~" His face settles into a devilish smirk, eyes dark yet blazing as he looks down at you. You feel pinned under his gaze, hair standing on end as heat rises within you. "Maw Walker, you flatter me." You'd like to do much more than that, but he glances around and reminds you that you're still in the Ember Court, there are guests around and they're only a step away from Tubbins and Gubbins. (It probably wouldn't be the weirdest thing they've seen, being under Theotar's charge.) "...Perhaps we can slip away?" 

There’s precious little privacy in Sinfall, the only place you can think of to go is the ruined tower, but even then that doesn’t offer much cover. He places a hand on your shoulder, though, firm and commanding as he starts guiding you away. Clearly he has something in mind.

Sure enough, he leads you toward the tower, waving off guests that try to stop the two of you. He waves the guards at the tower away with a fib about vital intel needing urgent discussion and they're relieved to step away and take part in the festivities. 

You climb up the rubble of the ruined stairs to find a spot that won't immediately expose you both if someone walked in. It would be an eye full for any stoneborn or stone fiend that flew past, but it’s better than nothing. 

Renathal is all poise and composure, graceful even as he navigates over the uneven terrain, a faint smile to his lips all during the ascent. Amused, but a glint in his eye promises he’s scheming.

“Here we are,” he says, gesturing in a near-bow to motion you ahead of him. 

You follow his lead and stand there, staring up at him dumbly like you’re not sure what to do now that you have him where you’ve always wanted him. It doesn’t feel real, like if you reach out and touch him he’ll fade away and it’ll be some cruel illusion spawned from your own desires.

Renathal chuckles, looking down at you with a fond warmth that strikes you right in the chest, shaking the doubts from your head. He steps forward, looming all too enticingly, he’s warm- startlingly so- in a way you wouldn’t expect from someone in the land of the dead. He reaches up and caresses your face with a feather-light touch of his hand, the barest trace of his sharp nails trailing over your skin that makes your hair rise and cheeks burn.

“I must confess…” Renathal continues, tracing over your features in a way that’s almost reverent. “I have thought about this all too often.” His thumb ghosts over your lips, hoving there with the faintest twitch of restraint. 

Me too, is what you want to say, but your throat is too dry for your voice to form coherent words.

Your tongue darts out to lick your lips before you can think and Renathal's gaze flicks down to catch the movement, eyes flaring. His hand grips your chin with an echo of the strength you know he possesses and tilts your head up, until you're craning your neck awkwardly and he’s leaning down just as awkwardly. Your eyes slip closed and you feel the warmth of his breath hit your face.

His lips press against yours just barely, almost tentative. The angle is off with the height difference and you can’t quite slot together the way you want, even when you rock forward onto your toes to attempt closing the distance better. He pulls away after a moment and even with the awkward first try and the strain in your neck, your lips tingle with a want for more.

“Hmm this won’t work at all…” Renathal mumbles to himself when he straightens his back, his brows knit together. You worry briefly if he’s rethinking this- that a venthyr like him and a mortal like you can’t possibly work in this way. “Here-” He dips down again, hands reaching around your middle and picking you up with ease, whirling around until you’re pressed between the stone wall and his body. Like this you’re face-to-face without any trouble and you can fully admire the pleased smile on Renathal’s lips when he takes in your flushed and flustered expression. “Much better.” And he leans in again.

When your lips connect this time it's gentle but the fit is much better when your height is matched. You both move slow, unsure, adapting to the feel of each other, fumbling now and then. He tastes of tea with a faint metallic tang underneath. Different, but not unpleasant.

He pulls away again and you want to ask if it’s okay, but he returns quickly, this time more urgent and your mouth opens in surprise. He licks into your mouth with an insistence, a curiosity. Is this his first time tasting a mortal? Yes, you think, and it sends a thrill through you knowing that for someone as ancient as Renathal, you will be a first- something unique.  Your thoughts are chased away by another surge of his lips, overwhelming like a tidal wave crashing over you and you quickly get caught up in it. Your hands clamor for purchase, grabbing the back of his head and tangling your fingers in his hair.

It’s like he’s trying to devour you from the inside out and you’re more than happy to let him do it. 

One of his hands leaves your waist and trails lower to grip your thigh and he coaxes it up as if to wrap around him- so you do. You wrap both legs around him and pull him closer. He gasps into your mouth and you can feel his nails digging in through the fabric as his grip tightens. 

This could go farther you think, you want it to go farther you realize as you run your fingers through his hair- as soft as you’d always imagine, but you’re also distantly aware of where you are.

Renathal seems to realize this as well because he breaks the kiss reluctantly, resting his forehead against yours as he tries to calm his ragged breath. 

"Maw Walker…" he breathes out, as ragged as his breath. He tilts his head as if to kiss you again and you find yourself arching to meet him, but he moves instead to kiss your cheek. Then a kiss under your jaw and you're rolling your head to the side, baring your neck to him. That earns you a pleased hum from him when the next kiss lands on your neck, open mouthed and slow. He laps at the skin there as if savoring the taste. "I had no idea mortals could taste so… thrilling." His voice is dark, carefully restrained, breath ghosting across your skin making you shiver.

He descends on your neck again slowly, almost experimentally, placing more kisses there. Then you feel them. His fangs grazing over the skin of your neck. Then he bites gently, pressure teasingly light, not enough to break the skin but enough that it has your blood pumping either out of fear or excitement or a combination of both and then- 

Ting ting ting.

Below in the Court you hear the Accuser announce it will be ending soon and reality asserts itself once again for both of you. Renathal removes his mouth from your neck after a moment's pause and then rests his forehead against yours, eyes closed.

“It seems we cannot hide away any longer,” he sighs, pulling away reluctantly. 

A greedy part of you wants to yank him back and keep going, but you know with the closing of the Court they will be looking for both of you. More than anything you don’t want to be caught in such a position, you don’t want to cause any more problems for Renathal because surely there’d be whispers and rumors and all sorts of things that could potentially tarnish his image in the eyes of his peers. 

He gently lowers you down from the wall and you nearly fall trying to stand on your own two feet again, knees still weak and legs like jelly. But he catches you and holds you steady. You straighten out your clothes and brush dust and ash off them as best you can and you see Renathal doing the same, brushing out his disheveled hair with his fingers. The only issue is the spot on your neck, which you hope hasn’t bruised into something glaringly obvious….

“Perhaps,” Renathal breaks the awkward silence between you, “we could continue this another time?” His voice is tentative, almost shy, like he did just ravish you mindless just a couple of minutes ago.

You aren’t sure when or where you’ll have the chance or privacy to do this again, but you nod enthusiastically regardless. 

------

The Accuser is there to meet you at the bottom of the tower, lips pursed and arms crossed. Gresit and a gaggle of chained souls linger just outside waiting for her.

“I hope whatever intel you needed to discuss was important enough to abandon the court.” She glances between the two of you, judgemental gaze overwhelming with its pressure and you want to shrink under it. Her ire settles firmly on Renathal.

“Ah yes! It’s nothing you need to worry about.” He waves a hand dismissively. “I will see the guests off now.” And he slips past her quickly, back to where the guests are mingling in the afterparty. 

Her eyes narrow at his retreating form like she knows and then flick back to you. 

“I hope you had fun, Maw Walker.”

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Comic buff with a thought, I notice the P5MM art and composition is more striking and closer to p5's art and style than the other manga, which is fine, but kinda... flat. (I find myself thinking there's something missing when I read it, then I look back at P5MM and I notice how there's more clever paneling, imagery, and stylistic choices akin to the games in it (like that one goro panel ya had a rant about) and I realize what's missing) That could be why P5MM is brought up more, just a guess. I dunno how you feel about all that though, I'm curious.

Under the cut cause it gets long cause of pictures:

I am very big on art style and visual presentation. I do actually judge a book by it's cover (manga, game, movie, show, yadda). If I find something pleasing to my eye I'll read it.....even if the contents are trash. Domestic Girlfriend is one, horrible manga (didn't finish, was holding out for Momo, aka best girl, and getting closure for her....then I bounced). Didn't watch the anime (didn't need to I was way ahead in the manga I think), but I know that opening is wasted on it. ldskfjaf Don't invest your time into it, it's not worth it, you would probably learn better morals from P5.......probably. But yeah I found the art style pleasing enough to try it out (I's not amazing by any means, but I like looking at it....or did.....that writing man....dat was bad ;w;).... *waves hands vaguely in air* yeah.

Fun fact, it's why I got into Persona. I happened across an ad for P4 on the PS2 in the Gameinformer magazine, it showed a screenshot from an animated cutscene plus one of the fully body art for the chars and I was like "Yes this is my jam!" (which only doubled down when I read what it was about, and it was a murder mystery and the article also talked up "the mystery of the glasses" which fakldjsalkfs yeah). So yeah it really clicked for me.

Tbh it's why I'm probably going to get back into freaking Bleach, and it's why I got into it and Naruto over One Piece (I don't think I'll ever read ON I'm sorry). Tite Kubo has sexy art what can I say? Can't trust a thing that man writes now but eh. It's also the reason I read a lot of Shojo (and now Yuri) manga, cause their art style is usually what I find very appealing (even if I've read the same gd shojo love story just by a different name for the 1000th time, give me the flowers and sparkly eyes! they are my life blood!)

And I've mentioned I really like Saito's art style. I've (attempted) to color some of his pieces on top of animate some manga frames (most of which I haven't actually published......I...I should....get around to finishing those up....haha...aha....haaaa). I really like his art, it's pleasant. But even with good art, I can still see past it and see what BS it's peddling and it can hamper my enjoyment of it. If I don't look at the context of the scene or the words on the page, I can be down with it. But when I'm reading.......I get annoyed. I balk at anything with Goro. I guffaw whenever Makoto's on screen (cause Saito nails her from P5, she acts useful but really she's useless but the narrative views her as useful it ironically makes her useless......it's the weirdest thing I've ever witnessed >.>). Like Saito really.....gets P5 it seems, down to it's flaws even (tho he can actually make the good parts of P5 shine, or at least parts that P5 failed to execute....execute in a way). But he also makes the flaws.....shine that much harder for me.

Now the Reg manga? it's nothing special art style wise, in fact it starts off VERY wonky, and while still wonky, has gotten a lot....better/cuter (esp Ryu). Not like shojo cute just.......I wanna squish their wittle faces cute (at times when it's not serious).

Like when it comes to Reg Manga these are the two pieces that have appeared in it that I feel kinda hit the P5 mark in terms of style:

(look at Mona, coming into this world like the pustule that he is 8U)

Which isn't much, but it's something. At least Reg's AOA is better looking than the anime. 8U

But I dunno, as the chapters go on, the Mangaka allows for more cuter expressions, and I just like their neat:

(btw I colored that page)

I dunno, it's not as overtly cutsey as Saito:

But they are still charming in a more simple way (without out having them go full chibi), it subtle but it gives it flavor. "Silly why are most, if not all those pics of Ryu and Anne?" I dunno guys maybe you should ask them how their backs are doing, cause they're the ones who are carrying the Reg manga when it comes to this! 8U

Tho I do think the first ch or two of Reg does a better job capturing P5's feel than the rest of the chapters, I think the mangaka is just.....bogged down by exposition and the game's BS that a lot of text on their pages so it almost reads like a novel:

ALots of text, not the most dynamic of framing with the panels. It's kinda eh. I haven't really read the manga past the 2nd dungeon tbh (I mean......as the residential #1 Makoto hater, I think that's fair.....that I'd start to zone out during my least fav dungeon....and then continue zoning out during my 2nd least fav dungeon askfdjaflk)

But during the first two dungeon arcs, I liked how.....bad the PT were at thieving, I liked how green they were. It was obviously a learning process. I also like some of the fight choreo (Saito did the best hand to hand one in the series in P4U's Yu vs Sho....which I actually animated....spoiler.....no I have no released that...my dumbass wants to tempt fate and see if I can redo it in color even tho it took me 4 days non stop to get that animated in just black and white.....but I am a fool so alas 8U). I mean it's not mind blowing, but it was simple and decently thought out, which is more than I feel like we usually get (esp with the anime shows....or at least P4/5's).

But I think what draws me in is....it's lack of P5 style. P5 style has them being still oh so cool despite being new at everything. It's tired me out. P5's how identity is style. It's....style over substance (gonna rile some feathers with that....Cvit(?) vid title). But P5 is overtly stylish, to the point it......weighs on me. Drags me down. Tires me out. I don't think they're cool, I'm bored with it. Ironically, Reg manga lacks that, which......def would make someone (and me usually) give it much of a passing glance. It's very basic I guess. But.....consider me, being in P5 hell, surrounded by all it's nausea inducing stylishness, sees a small break in the hellish hurricane to see.......normalcy. It kinda makes me connect better with the kids (kinda, it's still P5).

They feel like normal kids, trying to do their thing (sometimes trying to look/act cool and failing), and.....it's just the absolute antitheses to P5's brand......and I think that's why I like it. KLFJDSAFLKJA;

Anyway, who knows, maybe when I catch up on Reg in english and re-read MM with the official translation I might change my mind about a few things, or at least how I rank them. But for post length sake, and my sanity sake, I think I should keep the anime and mangas out of the "Which entry do you hate least" post......because I should just make another post where I go into both mangas as well as compare and contrast the anime! :D I'm just delaying some insanity for later haha....

Wait.........I just remember Day Breakers exists......and I liked it....still do....don't have much issue with it. Well shit, that is probably the one entry I hate the least. fklsdjfalkjdfkla;jsL;FJljsfdlskafaj *sobs* nO NO, I committed, and that's just a sad loophole. fdklsajflakfj *sobs* I still need to the game thing, cause let's be honest, the games are where it counts.

So right now my ranking for manga/anime is:

Daybreakers>Reg manga> MM>>>>>>>>>>TV Show Anime and it's OVAs (may the burn in the hell fire from which they spawned)

Oh, one last thing, forgot to put it in but I dunno where to put it now. I like how the manga tones down the pervyness some:

I mean Ryu is a fellow monkey. u_u .......but it's for the best I don't have to see his ape expression. ;w; (iirc the pyramid scene was a lot shorter/faster, but that's by the grace of reading and books rather than animation I suppose).

[tired-college-student-writing]

#WayneAngel: Chapter 2

The Maribat AU by @ozmav and @maribat-archive is all I can think about atm, so enjoy more of this

Summary- After Grayson posts a video on the wrong twitter, Damian feels like he should lose his social media privileges, and possibly his hand. 

Part 1

Part 2 (HERE)

Part 3

______________________________________________________________________

Wayne’s Angel @FashionableInGotham

Thanks for outing my relationship, Dick, now I owe Tim money. 

Marinette paused realizing that no one was going to believe the lone tweet, even as she hit send on the first post of her new twitter account. There were probably a hundred fake accounts popping up already in light of the news. Thousands of theories on her were already flying around the net. 

She probably had a zillion texts from her classmates about the video, but she had taken one look at the group chat and missed calls she had gotten from Alya and turned her phone onto do not disturb. She’d check for texts from her actual friends later. 

She sighed and stuck her head outside, and was only mildly surprised seeing the two middle Wayne boys stilling sitting on the patio. 

“You guys are still out here?” She asked, only for Jason to flip her off and Tim just bleary lifted his head up, having been taking a nap in the sun like a cat.

“Easy boy,” She soothed Jason, “I’ve just come to tell you the kitchen is no longer off-limits, and that Damian is attempting to murder Dick.”

“What did Dickie do?” 

Instead of answering Jason’s question she held up a blue bill between two fingers, “Oh I also owe Tim this,” 

She watched Tim pause mid-yawn and eyes flash to her before his eyes grow large and he cracked up laughing.  

Jason slipped into a cheeky smirk, “No…” 

“Oh yes,” Marinette sighed, “Dick accidentally uploaded the video he took earlier to his public twitter, instead of his private one. #WayneAngel and #MariDami are both trending right now.”  

“The demon spawn might actually succeed in killing him this time,” Tim gasped out, snatching the bill from her.

“Not on Alfred’s birthday, he won’t,” She giggled back before holding up her phone, “Either way, mind helping me enter the celebrity Twitter scene? I feel there’s going to be lots of clean up involved, but I figured the sooner I’m officially introduced the better, but I need someone to confirm I’m me on there.” 

Tim pulled out his phone, “One introduction tweet coming right up.” 

Tim Drake Offical @TJDrake

Thanks, @AFlyingGrayson for fucking up and winning me the bet with on who would out The Demon spawn’s relationship! 

Anyways, Just wanted to introduce @FashionableInGotham as my actual favorite sibling and the Demon spawn’s real, flesh and blood, girlfriend, Marinette.

With the tweet was a picture that Tim had snapped of the three of them chilling on the porch, Marinette perched on the armrest of Tim’s chair as the boy waved the banknote in front of the lens, Jason smirking as he gave the young girl bunny ears. 

It’s a very endearing picture, in her opinion and was ranking in retweets in a heartbeat. Her follower count was climbing from the seven Waynes. Marinette wasn’t going to ask how Tim managed to hack twitter to make the missing Waynes follow her, she really didn’t want to know. 

Plausible Deniability and all that.

The tweet was followed quickly by one from Jason. 

Jason Todd Lives @BestTodd

Yes the brat has a girlfriend

Yes I lost the bet on if he’d follow in Bruce’s footsteps 

Yes that’s my real reaction to her picking me up

Yes she’s is that adorable irl, Proof vvv

Yes @FashionableInGotham is my unofficial baby sister and I will fuck up anyone that upsets her

The picture he attached as proof of her being adorable was of her working on a piece, her tongue sticking out between her teeth as she concentrated. The reds and purple laying in pieces around her as she snipped and sewed them together. Behind her, you could barely make out Tim and Damian arguing on her chaise. 

There was a sudden bang as the patio door was hung open and Dick tumbled through, phone in hand, with Damian still following him, but the knife had been replaced with his sword. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were introducing Marinette on twitter!” The eldest whined as he continued to dodge Damian’s strikes. Damian stilled, turning to his other brothers. 

“You what!” 

Marinette rolled her eyes, “Easy Damian. It was my idea. Get a good image out there before people have too much time to theorize about how I wormed my way into the elusive Waynes.” 

Tim just snorted, “Ah yes, Marinette the masterful gold digger who had no idea she was dating the Damian Wayne for the first two months of their relationship.” 

The other boys laughed as Marinette’s face turned bright red. 

“You promised not to bring that up again,” SHe whined as her boyfriend came up behind her and wrapped an arm around her. 

“You know you love us, Angel,” He mumbled as he pressed a kiss into her hair, pointily ignoring the fake gagging from Jason and Tim. 

“Sooooo” Dick drawled, bringing everyone attention to him, “We have about an hour we need to start dinner, and two before he and B get back. Who’s up for a little twitter QnA?” 

_______________________________________________________________________

 The group chat was too hectic to keep up with anymore, no one was sure what was happening, until Chloe texted each of them individually and offered up a conference room at her family’s hotel for them to gather and go over what was happening. 

She was a little surprised that they all agreed, especially Lila. The gig was up, there wasn’t a way for her to convincingly spin this turn of events, not when the Wayne’s were already rushing to social media to defend the girl after the video accidentally went up, introducing her under a brand new twitter. 

If anyone saw that the blonde was already following said twitter, she’d claim it was to keep up with any drama that unfolded from little miss no one dating a Wayne. 

After all, she had an image to keep up, she couldn’t just... 

“Chloe?” 

Her head snapped up to see Adrian standing in the doorway. 

“How on earth did you get here so fast?” She asked with a raised brow. 

He glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck, “I... might of snuck out...” 

She laughed, “Knew school would be good for you.” 

He grinned sliding into the seat next to her, making her relax. 

Their relationship had been rocky for a while, but after Queen Bee made her official debut, they were working through it. She couldn’t deny the fact that his eyes glowed as she tried her best to be a better person made everything easier

“So have you abandoned your ridiculous high road principle?” She questioned, watching him flinch slightly. 

“You know I didn’t...” 

“Yeah, Yeah,” She sighed waving her hand, knowing it was still a sore spot to him that Marinette had taken the advice so poorly before Chloe stepped up and explained what he had meant. 

Keep your head down, don’t draw attention to yourself. Messages that had been instilled into Adrian for years, both to keep out of the media spotlight and, after his mother disappeared, to stay at of his father's way. Lies had never been an issue to him since rumors were always flying around the model and the people he worked with, so while it took him a while to see that the lies that Lila told were different than those written in the gossip columns and were actually doing harm. 

Let’s just say the boy was still beating himself up for that, even if Marinette forgave him. Sadly it was too late to have Adrian come forward on his own to out Lila without it looking like Marinette had just gotten him under her thumb so they had been waiting for their chance.

Chloe was glad to say that that day had finally come. 

“Did you know Damian was the boy Mari talked about?”  He asked quietly. 

“No,” She sighed, “Luka and Kagami had no idea either, you’d know this if you bothered looking at your phone.” 

He shrugged, leaning over her shoulder, “I left it at home, Dad tracked me last time I snuck out with it.”  

She huffed a laugh handing over the phone so he could see the... colorful texts from the pair. 

“I didn’t know Kagami knew any swears in French,” He confessed after scrolling through the group chat. 

“My money’s on her learning them from Ms. Couffaine,” Chloe offered lazily, “That woman swears like a sailor.” 

“She lives on a boat,” Adrian counters, “I think that qualifies her as a sailor.” 

“Whatever,” 

They lapsed into silence as Adrian clicked over to the entire group chat to see if he could make any sense out of it now that the flow of incoming texts has trickled off. 

“Are you okay?” She suddenly asks making him arch a brow, gazing up from the phone. 

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Your lady is in love with someone else.” 

Adrian smiled softly.

 “I accepted that awhile ago Chlo,” He reminded her, back to the day they were all too close when time ran out, when the five of them could no longer hide, “I’m very happy to be her best friend, plus I’ve been thinking that I might look what the cat can drag-in” 

She groaned, whacking him, “You’re ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.” 

“Like you weren’t wondering if you’d be a good snake charmer.”

She squeaked, swatting him again harder as he fell off his chair with laughter.

“I told you that in confidence, not so you can make stupid puns!” 

“Oh come on Chloe, don’t throw a hissssy hit,” 

“I’m a bee, so buzz off!” 

They stared at each other before breaking down into giggles. 

“I hate you,” She whines through the pearls of laughter. 

“No you don’t,” He waggled his eyebrow making her laugh harder. 

Knowing he won he glanced back at her phone only for his smile to twist into a wicked grin. 

“Tone down the Chat in that grin or people will put it together,” She warned, poking his cheek. 

“Marinette and the Wayne boys just said they’re doing a QnA under #Daminette.”  

Chloe blinked a few times before her smile twisted to match his, “There’s a projector in here and we have about five minutes until anyone else gets here.” 

“I’ll grab your laptop and make sure Plagg and Pollen come down from your room,” Adrian said, climbing to his feet. 

“I’ll call Luka and Kagami and ask them to be prepared, and then get Jean to get refreshments and inform Jagged Stone of what’s happening,” She assigned to herself before he nodded and took off. 

Operation Dethrone Lila was officially underway. 

About fucking time

_______________________________________________________________________

Taglist: @kceedraws @northernbluetongue @starry-bi-sky @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @lexysama @vincentvangoose

[woman-loving]

Brenda Howard: Mother of Pride?

A lot of mythology has sprung up around the Stonewall Riots and the annual Pride celebrations that commemorate them. This mythology often serves a community function: by lifting up a particular narrative of events, and emphasizing certain actors, communities create a history that provides legitimacy for their current identity, values, and goals.

As well-intentioned as these mythologies may be, they aren't always historically accurate, and may end up obscuring more complex realities and the contributions of other actors.

One myth I'd like to examine is that bisexual activist Brenda Howard created the first Pride parade.

You can see this claim repeated in various forms in online LGBTQ magazines such as The Advocate, Curve, LGBTQ Nation, Pride, and Instinct, as well as places like the History Channel site, CNN (8th slide), Bi Pride UK, LGBT History Month, and various other blogs and sites. The 25th anniversary edition of Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out also includes this (poorly-edited) footnote on bisexual activist history:

Bisexual activist Brenda Howard (1946-2005) conceives and co-coordinates a one-month Stonewall Rebellion rally, and a one year anniversary march and celebration. This became the annual NYC Pride March that, in turn spawned Pride Marches around the country and the world.

Much of what's been written about Brenda Howard's contribution to Pride is misleading. While it seems that she was on the Christopher Street Liberation Day Committee as a representative from the Gay Liberation Front, she was not the primary organizer of the event, nor did she come up with the idea for it. Describing Pride as "conceive[d]," "organized," "planned," or "invented" by Howard suggests that she played a much more prominent role than she did. And when Howard is the only person whose involvement in Pride is highlighted, it results in a distorted narrative where other, more principal organizers are erased.  

Brenda Howard has likely received the spotlight due to her representational value to the bisexual community. The presence of bi people at Pride--and even within LGBTQ communities--has often been challenged, and what better rejoinder is there than to say that it was a bi woman who started it all? (A bi woman who later partnered with a man, no less.) The narrative of Brenda Howard as creator of Pride therefore works to justify bi people's place in "queer" communities and history and counter the misconception that bi people are merely apolitical spectators to community activism.

It makes sense that bi people and their allies would spread around such histories. However, the justification for bi people's belonging doesn't rest on this one figure or the role she played in Pride. Brenda Howard is an example of a bi participant in general "gay" activism (as well as specifically bi activism), and her role in Pride doesn't need to be inflated to find value in her legacy.

----

Now I'll turn to look more closely at the claims made about her role in Pride, and the evidence for them.

First of all, I must mention that I'm not an expert on Stonewall or its legacy. I haven't done an exhaustive search on all the sources that document the origins of Pride, so it's possible that I've overlooked some evidence. If anyone has any other sources that would illuminate her role in Pride, I'd be happy to consider them.

As far as I can tell, most of the online information about Howard's connection to Pride can be traced to an obituary written by her partner, Larry Nelson, after her death in 2005. Part of the obit is quoted in these memorial articles:

A militant activist who helped plan and participated in LGBT rights actions for more than three decades. Ms. Howard was a major player in starting the annual Pride celebrations that take place every year around the world. She coordinated the 1-month anniversary rally and the 1-year rally/march commemorating the Stonewall Rebellion, which became the annual New York City Pride March. Howard also originated the idea for a week-long series of events around Pride Day, called Pride Week. Most U.S. states and many countries and cities around the world now celebrate Pride Day/Week annually, descended directly from those first marches and rallies in New York City which Howard coordinated and created.

As you can see, several of the other articles take language directly from this obit, which appears to be their source of information. (The Bi Any Other Name footnote also uses similar language.) The only additional details come from the Lolita article, which describes Howard as "one of the organizers of the first Christopher Street Liberation Day march in 1970." Considering that this author includes the correct name for the first march in New York, I'm inclined to believe that her knowledge (or research) extends beyond Nelson's obituary. I think it's notable that she describes Howard as merely "one of the organizers," in contrast to Nelson, who doesn't qualify her leadership in any way.

Another article called "A Long History of Activism" was posted to Gay City News a few weeks after her death. This article draws quotes from a number of people who worked with Howard, and provides more details about her activism and community involvement. Other than mentioning that she was "there at Stonewall," it has nothing to say about her role in organizing the Liberation Day march. This would seem to contradict the claim that Howard was known as the Mother of Pride. The origin of this moniker may be the title of the Bilerico article from the previous set: "Pride founding mother, Brenda Howard's, memorial service announced." None of these articles call her the Mother of Pride.

The one pre-2005 source I've found that connects Howard to the Christopher Street Liberation Day march is the book Stonewall by Martin Duberman (1994). But before I turn to that, let's see what else we can find about the one-month anniversary rally at Washington Square Park and the 1970 Liberation Day march.

I happen to have a book about post-Stonewall activism called Out for Good: The Struggle to Build a Gay Rights Movement in America by Dudley Clendinen and Adam Nagourney (1999). I checked the index for Brenda Howard, but her name wasn't listed. However, it does discuss the two events Nelson credits to Howard. I'm going to outline and quote some of it to give you a better sense of what happened leading up to them.

According to the authors, in the weeks following the Stonewall riots on June 27 1969, the New York Mattachine Society began distributing leaflets proclaiming that their organization “stands ready to arrange a meeting” with public officials. A man named Michael Brown saw one of the leaflets and went to the MS office, calling for a more “aggressive response.” The executive director of the MS, Dick Leitsch, “put Brown in charge of a new Mattachine Action Committee, and called for a public forum on July 9 at the Freedom House, where the Mattachine Society held its monthly meetings.” (Out for Good, p 26)

The people who met at the forum were “younger, more radical, new to the world of homophile politics,” and included Marty Robinson, Jim Owles, Lois Hart, and Martha Shelley (p 26). Martha Shelley was a member of the New York chapter of Daughters of Bilitis, and is credited with proposing the idea of a rally:

Leitsch wanted to work quietly within the system, and he argued against the creation of any new groups that would, he said, divide the limited energies of the movement. But shortly after he called this meeting to order, Martha Shelley rose and proposed a different idea: a march and rally at Washington Square Park to protest police harassment. Leitsch wearily asked if anyonetruly through this made sense. Hands shot up across the room, so Leitsch unhappily suggested that anyone who wanted to organize the march move to acorner of the room. (p 27)

Martha Shelley’s own account corroborates this:

Shelley remembered, “As soon as I found out that gays were rioting against the police, I called Joan Kent, who was running our local DOB chapter, and said, ‘We need to have a protest march.’ She said that if the Mattachine Society agreed, the two organizations could co-sponsor it. So I called Dick Leitch, the head of NY Mattachine, and he said to come to a meeting at Town Hall and propose the march idea to the membership.

[…] Town Hall held 400 people, and it was jam-packed with 398 men, one female member of Mattachine, and me. When I proposed the march, Dick asked how many were in favor. Everyone’s hand went up. So he said, 'Whoever wants to organize it, go to that corner after the meeting.’ A few of us formed a march committee. We subsequently met at the Mattachine Society office to work out the details.

The rally occurred on July 27 1969 at Washington Square Park, one month after the Stonewall riots. My book describes Shelley addressing the crowd of 500 from the rim of a fountain:

“Shelley had taken responsibility for obtaining whatever permits were needed to rally at Washington Square Park and march the four blocks to the Stonewall Inn. It turned out the only permit needed was for a sound system. And Shelley[…] decided she would rather yell than ask for a permit from the New York City Police Department. So there she was in the middle of the Washington Square Park–all five feet four inches of her, as fierce as ever–bellowing at the top of her lungs, a little taken aback by how many men and women had turned up (mostly men), many wearing the lavender armbands she and Marty Robinson had handed out that morning.” (p 28)

She and Marty Robinson are described as “the principle speakers” at the rally (p 29).

Shortly thereafter, Shelley would be among the founding members of the Gay Liberation Front. She is even credited with coming up with the name--or at least proposing to use "gay" (p 31). She and Jim Fouratt were "probably the most forceful" personalities "responsible for setting [the group’s] tone as much as its ideology" (p 41). The Gay Activists Alliance would split off from this group by the end of 1969 (p 46-47).

Considering that Brenda Howard was also a member of GLF--and that some of the early members were rally coordinators--I don't think it's a stretch to believe that Howard was involved with planning the rally. However, it doesn't sound like it was her idea or that she was the primary organizer.

---

However, crediting her with "coordinating" the 1970 Christopher Street Liberation Day march is an even bigger claim. Everything I’ve read points to Craig Rodwell being the primary coordinator. I'll start drawing on some other sources here, too, especially "Movements and Memory: The Making of the Stonewall Myth," by Elizabeth A. Armstrong and Suzanna M. Crage (2006).

Before the Stonewall Riots, Rodwell already had a history of gay/homophile activism. He created Mattachine Young Adults in 1964 and the Homophile Youth Movement in Neighborhoods, and was a member of East Coast Homophile Organizations. He opened the Oscar Wilde Memorial Bookshop in Greenwich Village in 1967, which served as an informal community center (Craig Rodwell Papers, p 3). For five years he participated in the Annual Reminder pickets, which were first organized by Frank Kameny in 1964 to bring attention to the lack of civil protections for gays and lesbians. Apparently, Rodwell was the one who suggested making this an annual event. ("Movements," p 736.)

Some months after Stonewall, an Eastern Regional Conference of Homophile Organizations took place on November1-2, 1969. A resolution was introduced "by Craig Rodwell, representing the Homophile Youth Movement, and Ellen Broidy of NYU’s Student Homophile League" (Nation Historic Landmark Nomination: Stonewall, p 19). It proposed changing the Annual Reminder into an annual Christopher Street Liberation Day:

RESOLUTION #1: that the Annual Reminder, in order to be more relevant, reach a greater number of people, and encompass the ideas and ideals of the larger struggle in which we are engaged—that of our fundamental human rights—be moved both in time and location.

We propose that a demonstration be held annually on the last Saturday in June in New York City to commemorate the 1969 spontaneous demonstrations on Christopher Street and this demonstration becalled CHRISTOPHER STREET LIBERATION DAY. No dress or age regulations shall be made for this demonstration.

We also propose that we contact Homophile organizations throughout the country and suggest that they hold parallel demonstrations on that day. We propose a nationwide show of support. (“Movements,” p 738)

The authors of "Movements" say that Rodwall had friends from NYU’s Student Homophile League introduce the resolution, so it might have just been introduced by Ellen Broidy. Frank Sargeant, who was Rodwell’s partner at the time, says that "two women, Ellen Broidy and Linda Rhodes, were instrumental in getting a resolution for that first march passed"(1970: A First-Person Account of the First Gay Pride March). Another resolution was passed to form the Christopher Street Liberation Day Umbrella Committee (“Movements,” p 738).

So what role did Brenda Howard play in coordinating the march? Returning to Duberman's Stonewall, she was apparently one of the GLF "mainstays" on the coordinating committee:

The first thing Craig did, after the final ERCHO convention in November 1969 gave its blessing to the formation of a Christopher Street Liberation Day Committee, was to diplomatically send out notices to all of ERCHO’s constituent groups that such a committee had indeed come into existence. The niceties performed, Craig then had to find people to do the actual work. He began by notifying all the New York gay groups of the committee’s formation and–making clear (more niceties) that the planned celebration was not owned by any one organization–asked that they send representatives.

GAA delayed until some six weeks before the celebration, and Mattachine was overtly negative until the last minute, when DOB also decided to join in. But GLF responded immediately, and from that group Brenda Howard, Marty Nixon, and Michael Brown became mainstays. To fill out the committee, Craig buttonholed some of his regular customers at the Oscar Wilde Bookshop, and managed to bag Judy Miller, recently arrived in New York from Denver, and a pair of lovers, Jack Waluska and Steve Gerrie. All three turned out to be hardworkers, and stayed the course. (Stonewall, p 270)

The also book notes that "the small group of eight or so people began to meet monthly in Craig’s apartment on Bleecker Street[…]” (p 271).

However, as I was doing some additional research for this post yesterday, I found a comment responding to a Brenda Howard article that appears to be from Frank Sargeant, although I see no way to verify it:

We should talk. I was one of the four people that proposed the march at the Nov 69 meeting of the Eastern Regional Conference of Homophile Organizations. Brenda Howard was not there. ERCHO created the Christopher Street Liberation Day Umbrella Committee to organize the march. I served on the finance committee of the CSLDUC and at the head of the march. Brenda Howard was liason or representative from GLF that attended one meeting at my apartment. Once.

I don’t know what sources you’re relying on but if it’s the family website created after she died in 2005, it not a reliable source.

Brenda Howard was very peripherally involved the march and had no role in the organizing committee. Her group, GLF, did not have anything remotely like the myths suggest in organizing march any more than any of the many other groups whose names are now forgotten but that I’d be happy to tell you about.

This would again confirm that she did have some invovlement, but it seems to contradict Duberman's characterization of her as a "mainstay." In contrast, Duberman writes that "Foster [Gunnison] fully credited Craig with being the heartbeat of the committee: He was "like a guru," Foster later said, "everything revolved around him[…]" (p 271).

In any case, the march took place on June 28, 1970. It "covered fifty-one blocks, from Washington Square Park to Central Park," and ended with a "gay-in" at Sheep Meadow (Out for Good, p 63). There "were no floats or platform displays, at the insistence of Rodwell, who feared they would distract from the political significance of the day” (p 63). Several thousand people participated in the march and gay-in. Jean DeVente, also known as "Mama Jean," headed the march (p 63).

---

In the obituary, Nelson also credits Howard with "[originating] the idea for a week-long series of events around Pride Day, called Pride Week."

"Gay Pride Week" is related to, but not interchangeable with, the Christopher Street Liberation Day march (or Pride parades more generally). The march was the central event, which had already been proposed as an annual commemoration by the time Brenda Howard apparently joined the coordinating committee. While it's possible that Howard may have first floated the idea of a week-long series of events surrounding the march, or even have had a larger role in planning these events, that needs to be understood in its larger context. We shouldn't credit her with creating "Pride parades" or "Pride" in general if she just proposed expanding on already planned events.

I haven’t had much luck finding information about the 1970 Gay Pride Week in New York, so I can't say exactly what role Howard played in it. All I’ve gathered so far is that:

It was sponsored by the Christopher Street Liberation Committee. (National Historic Landmark Nomination: Stonewall, p 19)

"To accommodate the interests of the many different groups participating, the Christopher Street Liberation Day Committee named the days leading up to the march "Gay Pride Week,” when individual organizations could host their own events and activities." (Out History exhibit)

"Lesbian activities organized by Women of Lesbian Liberation were centered at [the new Lesbian Center at] the Church of the Holy Apostle, where they held a discussion with WL women and Daughters of Bilitis on the connection between feminism and lesbian liberation. Communal suppers and all-woman dances were held." (here, see more discussion here)

It "suffered some glitches–some poorly attended events and a double-booking with the pro-Castro Venceremos Brigade[…]" (“Movements,” p 741). It was also criticized as "not very well organized" in Iowa City’s women’s lib newspaper Ain’t I a Woman?

The events included "workshops, dances, art shows, conferences, and a culminating 'mass march'..." (Nation Historic Landmark Nomination: Stonewall, p 20; footnote 52: “A Week of Gay Pride,” Village Voice June 25, 1970.)

Given that this is one of the more specific claims in the obituary, and that there's no evidence to directly contradict it, it's perfectly possible that Howard did come up with the idea of "Pride Week." On the other hand, considering Nelson's track record here, I feel like I ought to take his account with a grain of salt.

---

Another piece of online trivia about Brenda Howard appears to originate from the webpage "Pride (trope), Homolexis," for which I’ve only found broken links. This information on Howard’s wikipedia page is sourced to it:

Additionally, Howard along with the bisexual activist Robert A. Martin (aka Donny the Punk) and gay activist L. Craig Schoonmaker are credited with popularizing the word "Pride" to describe these festivities.

I’ve not found anything else about Howard’s role in this, which doesn’t make it false. For his part, Craig Schoonmaker does take credit for this:

My name is Craig Schoonmaker, and in 1970 I authored the word ‘pride’ for gay pride. Somebody had to come up with it!

We had a committee to commemorate the Stonewall riots. We were going to create a number of events the same weekend as the march to bring in people out of town, and wanted to unite the events under a label. First thought was ‘Gay Power’. I didn’t like that, so proposed gay pride.

There’s very little chance for people in the world to have power, but anyone can have pride.

As for Stephen Donaldson (Robert A. Martin), as far as I'm aware, he wasn’t involved with the Christopher Street Liberation Day Committee at all. It seems he was mainly involved in the Student Homophile League at Columbia. In fact, he says that "late in the spring of 1970 I dropped out of the gay movement, for a number of reasons, one of them the increased hostility from within the movement to my own bisexuality.[…]" (In 1977 he returned to Columbia--and to the SHL, which was then “Gay People at Columbia-Bernard.” You can read his own account of the creation of the SHL and some of their activities. [cw for rape and homophobic violence on p 258/30, second paragraph under “Background”])

Whoever came up with it, it seemed to catch on pretty quickly.

---

Although I'm challenging the narrative of her responsibility for Pride, I don't mean to downplay Brenda Howard's activism or community involvement, which appears to have been extensive. Here are some other things she did (info taken from the memorial articles, and other sources):

Involved in the anti-war movement

Member of the Gay Liberation Front

Member of the Gay Activists Alliance and longtime chairperson of the Agitprop (Agitation-Propaganda) Committee, GAA’s speakers committee (source; also source: Howard is mentioned on p. 19 and you can read about the speakers committee on p. 16)

Active in the Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Rights (an umbrella group co-founded by GAA to rally support for the New York gay rights bill, which would pass in 1986)

Worked at a phone sex service starting in 1985

Co-chair of the S/M-Leather Contingent for the 1987 March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights (I found a notice she wrote about it in a National Leather Association newsletter p 3; link's broken now)

Ran the New York Area Bisexual Network’s Info Line (and possibly was one of NYABN’s founders in 1987?)

Involved in BiPAC ("Bisexual Political Action Committee," of the NYABN)

Worked with the Queens’ chapter of the Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (they now give out an annual Brenda Howard Memorial Award)

Ran "the nation’s first Alcoholics Anonymous chapter for bisexuals" and also ran a bi S/M group

Active in the (successful) campaign to change the 1993 March on Washington name to "The 1993 March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Rights" (source: p. 2 mentions that she gathered signatures in New York, and p. 5 says that she was one of seven out bisexuals at the Bisexual Caucus at the National Steering Committee, where the change was voted on)

A coordinator in BiNet USA

Worked on organizing the "Stonewall 25" or “Spirit of Stonewall March” in 1994, which celebrated the 25th anniversary of Stonewall

A member of ACT-UP New York (she was jailed following a “protest of the firing of a lesbian from the state attorney general's office" which occured in 1997)

---

While that's all I have to say about Brenda Howard, I wanted to include a bit more information on the first Stonewall commemorative events for those who are interested. The Christopher Street Liberation Day march and Gay Pride Week in New York weren’t the only ones that took place in 1970. The New York committee reached out to other organizations to participate, and events occurred in three other cities.

Chicago activists also celebrated a Gay Pride Week ending with a rally and a 150-person march on June 27, a day before the others (“Encyclopediaof Lesbian and Gay Histories and Cultures,” p 871). Moderate activists in San Francisco declined to get involved, but a few more radical activists organized a small gay-in, and there was apparently an unrelated march as well (“Movements,” p 741).

Los Angeles activists also organized a parade under the name "Christopher Street West." They had trouble obtaining a permit from the Chief of Police, and had to get a court order for him to issue it (“Movements,” p 741). In contrast to the New York march, this event may be more properly described as a "parade":

With the permits in hand, Morris Kight and Troy Perry led their march through West Hollywood. By their count, 1,163 people showed up at McCadden Place at 6 p.m. on June 28 to mark the anniversary of Stonewall. There was a sound truck blasting martial music, a GLF float featuring a homosexual nailed to a black-and-white cross with a sign reading “In Memory of Those Killed by the Pigs,” a GLF guerrilla theater skit with “fairies” dressed with wings being chased by vice cops with night sticks and even an Orange County contingent hoisting a banner that said, “Homosexuals for Ronald Regan.” (Outfor Good, p. 64)

Pat Rocco was another organizer for the 1970 Christopher Street West parade. He takes credit for creating the first Pride "festival" following the parade in 1974. (Although I know Toronto’s 1972 Gay Pride Week had a “Festival of Gay Culture” at the homophile center to kick off the week, which included “carnival events.”)

There’s a video of Rocco talking about it, and I typed up a partial transcript [starting around 1:25]:

So what happened is that they had a big--a whole bunch of the people together in Hollywood--got together and elected me the very first president of a Gay Pride organization. […] And I said, ok we got to do two important things at the very beginning. One, we’ve got to get our 501c3. […]

And I said the second thing is: we got to stop stopping everything that happens at the end of the parade. The parade ends and everyone just goes their way. I said I’d like to have something where everybody in Hollywood gets together at the end of the parade. I said let’s have a festival, and let’s have the parade end at the festival. And let’s just make it that way.

And they said no way! You want us to be there in the middle of people? It’s one thing being on Hollywood Boulevard, and then you’re off and nobody sees you anymore. But another thing is being some place for three days--I wanted a three-day festival--and we show ourselves and everybody knows--I said yes, what everybody knows is that you don’t have horns. You’re not strange, you’re not unusual. […] I said just do it, and I think you’ll be surprised.

They finally gave in. We had a three-day festival. I had seven carnival rides. I had 24 booths. I had a big lot on Sunset Boulevard, one block from the end of the parade. And the place went crazy. The place was packed every day. And at the end of the parade, everyone on Hollywood Blvd has to go to the festival. They all ended up there.

So it was an idea that not only caught fire, but people were calling: what is that guy Rocco doing in Los Angeles, in Hollywood? San Francisco was calling and they said well we’re gonna do it next year. And I said fine. Since then there have been parades and festivals combined together all over the world. And I’m the proud papa. And I’m so proud to be.

I don't bring this up to turn the spotlight to Paul Rocco and say, "oh, he's the real inventor of Pride as we know it," and I don't have any other information to confirm or deny his account. Rather, I include this as an illustration of how Pride continued to develop even after the first year, and how multiple people may have had a hand in shaping what it looks like today and what it's looked like in different cities.

Well, I hope this has been an interesting history lesson, or at least a cautionary tale about how easily poorly-sourced information can spread online and beyond. Had you heard this myth before?

[airlock]

so, while I believe I’ve made my stance reasonably clear wrt defending edelgard, I also rapidly find myself annoyed by the slice of the Fire Emblem Three Houses fandom which is bent on swinging that pendulum the other way and accrediting her character far below all proper merits. perhaps it’s high time I dedicate that concentrated manic/spiteful energy to another long analytical text post

thus, the topic of today’s blathering on this blog shall be this: the ending of Crimson Flower, the frequent interpretations on the ways it’d secretly suck for everyone, and, without claiming that it wouldn’t suck (because it would), which of these interpretations simply don’t hold up to less motivated scrutinity

-Thesis: Edelgard can’t/won’t actually purge Such Individuals Who Carry A Snakelike Stride To Negotiate Spaces That Are Void Of Light

one of Edelgard’s most notorious points of discussion is her alliance with Fódlan’s baddest, flattest dudes. more charitable readings register it as either a means of playing her enemies against each other, or as a matter she initially has little say over, but can overturn by building up her power base. less charitable readings may register all of Edelgard’s reservations about the alliance as mere theatre -- includingly when she’s not addressing anyone other than them, apparently -- or cast suspicion on the idea that she really did sever her ties with them in the postgame, being that this crucial event is relegated to offscreen and acknowledged only in the epilogue text, which, on all routes, is notoriously difficult to take at face value

the matter with the former is that, just because Edelgard isn’t always honest with her allies, some of the fandom has gotten obssessed with this idea that anything that comes out of her mouth is passible of decanonization, as though one can only ever be 100% honest all the time or a pathological liar. sometimes Hubert also gets hit with some of it, including colorful theories that he’s secretly working with agartha on a deeper level than Edelgard and ultimately intends to usurp her for the ultimate evulz. it’s almost as if one’s not engaging with the same characters at all anymore. but hey, if we must deal in characterization absolutes, let’s go with this: Edelgard and Hubert are both very pragmatic characters -- why, then, produce so much blatantly unecessary theatre? like, there’s an entire paralogue dedicated to Hubert sowing the seeds of a future St. Patrickening; going through so much more trouble than they’re getting worth isn’t how these two operate

the latter issue will give us a little more to chew on, though, because there have been a variety of arguments made to sustain the idea that, despite the epilogue text, Edelgard cannot or will not hunt down the Dudes Who Do The Worm At The Club once the chips are down. a popular one is that Edelgard wouldn’t have enough resources at her disposal to pursue that purge due to having a fucktonne of fresh annexations to deal with; another frequent customer roots itself in archetypal allusions, arguing that, as Edelgard is a blatant second coming of Arvis from Genealogy of the Holy War, her regime should be expected to be headed for the same ignobile end

on the matter of whether Edelgard can wipe out agartha, I’m moved to ask: are the people who push this angle forgetting everything we do see onscreen of agartha? in VM and SS, one month is all it takes between realizing they exist and ending them; in AM, they’re smothered into dust as unintentionally as Dimitri destroys every sewing needle he picks up, largely because Thales somehow figured it was a good idea to stand squarely between the two factions he’d been trying to play against each other.

these guys are jobbers. they’re some of the most weaksauce major villains in the history of Fire Emblem. furthermore, CF concludes with them down several key members and stuck on the endlag of their nukes, which also tipped Hubert off to the location of Shambhala, because I guess it was that important to throw a nuclear tantrum over Cornelia. why would Edelgard be the only one of the three lords who supposedly can’t vamoose these dudes with a sneeze? is it just because she’s the only one who didn’t do it onscreen? and because offscreening it alerts us more readily to what a risible anticlimax the whole thing is, I guess?

as for archetypes -- it’s entirely correct to claim that Edelgard draws heavily from Arvis, and her tentative allies, from the less completely incompetent (but still really poorly written) loptyrous cultists. it’s also correct to claim that the secret spotlight-stealing squad of doom outplayed Arvis and took over his government. still, what sort of logic is this, where an archetypal resonance means everything will play out the exact same way? Perceval is heavily based on Camus and his other imitators, but you can recruit that dude. Jill is heavily based on Minerva and her other imitators, but she can defect back to nation she’d left, if the player is sufficiently incautious. there’s absolutely nothing to obligate Edelgard to follow the same script as her predecessor, least of all to such a point it’d contradict existing canon

(sometimes the ending tapestry also plays into this, because it features a dark bishop behind the crowd, carrying a dagger behind his back. supposedly, he’s threatening the crowd to stay in line. with the dagger that he’s not holding to them. please, rub those last two brain cells together and figure out who that guy is probably trying to kill in that tapestry.)

-Thesis: Dimitri has a secret unidentified heir who’s going to become the new Seliph and make Edelgard his Arvis properly

in a cutscene in ch17, Dimitri tells Rhea that he’s not too worried about getting himself into a straight deathmatch with Edelgard, because even if that ends poorly for him (as it does), there’s another who will carry on the Blaiddyd bloodline in his stead. the fandom has been scrambling for a while now to figure out just who the hell he’s referring to when he says as much

playing off the whole thing with how Edelgard surely must be a carbon copy of Arvis on all aspects, an ascending theory is that Dimitri went and spawned a secret offscreen baby, who will grow up to become Seliph 2.0, and thus, the blade on which Edelgard’s empire ends

the thing is, Dimitri did not spawn a secret offscreen baby. lo, by the combined forces of occam’s razor and conservation of detail, I give you the true identity of the secret remaining Blaidyyd: it’s just Rufus

remember Rufus? Lambert’s brother, was regent when Dimitri wasn’t old enough to be king, wasn’t much of any good at it? you may have written him off because he was murdered in AM, VW, and SS. you know who else was murdered in AM, VW and SS, but not CF? one of Dimitri’s eyes. and that’s not just a crack at Dimitri, either! the reason why he gets to keep both eyes in CF is because the coup d’etat that nearly killed him -- and did fully kill Rufus -- never came to be.

(sidebar -- canon implies that this difference occours because Byleth cast the elusive Summon Conscience spell on Edelgard; I’d say there’s a much more reasonable reading in that, with Rhea alive and relocated to the Kingdom, wiping out the royal family is a lot of trouble just to give her a pretext with which to rule the roost herself. still, see, we can interpret that reasonably without creating another stupid ass Edelgard Totally Lied spot!)

now, I do have to concede that Rufus isn’t explicitly confirmed to be the remaining Blaidyyd that Dimitri was referring to, and it’s also not totally impossible for Seliph 2.0 to be the product of Rufus’s grand royal womanizing. it’s just, at this point, the supposedly clear-cut archetypal resonance is now nothing more than unsubstantiated fanon direly clinging to that last cliff of technically being possible

-Thesis: Almyra will sweep into the wartorn Empire and crush it like a bug

maybe, if they did, we’d finally learn anything canon about them at all-

but see, that throwaway joke is a fantastic starting point. whenever almyra gets brought up in terms of FE16 endings, it seems to be under this unspoken agreement that they’re able, willing, and intent on unleashing a colossal invasion of Fódlan, effective soon enough to take advantage of the depleted and unstable society left in the continent at the game’s end.

why should we start from that assumption, though? it’s not rooted on anything other than the fact that Almyra at one point in the past was all of able, willing and intent on unleashing an invasion of Fódlan that was fierce enough to force international cooperation. what little we’re told of Almyra at the time of the game consistently indicates that this is no longer the case.

in CF alone, Almyra does attack, twice: once as Claude’s reinforcements, and then again when the usual noncomittal border raid meets the new leadership. Edelgard’s forces trounces them both times. note how that’s just Edelgard’s forces, too, and not the continental coalition that was previously required. but that should figure, shouldn’t it? after all, after the Locket was built, Leicester alone kept any new Almyran offensives from getting that serious. and Claude himself points out to Lorenz, in their supports, that Almyran raids dropped a lot in frequency around the time of the game; that may be just pre-timeskip, but all in all, the increasingly clear picture is that, even if Fódlan stirs itself for a bunch of years, Almyra doesn’t seem to be able, willing, and intent on squeezing that opportunity for another major invasion.

sometimes, the centerpin of this theorama is Claude, and specifically, his fate in Deirdriu. supposedly, there’s a catch-22: if he survives, he’s taking his ambitions and schemes back to Almyra in order to come back to Fódlan a few years later with a vengeance, and if he dies, the vengeance will instead come from his grieving parents. now, I know that correctly interpreting Claude’s character isn’t really in vogue yet, but both of those scenarios fundamentally misunderstand him, his development, and his circumstances.

let’s say he survives -- would he be eager to come back with an army behind his back? he might have all of his ambitions, but he’s a guy who rarely holds grudges, loves being alive, and just found out he doesn’t like war very much at all. and let’s say he dies -- sure, his parents aren’t going to like it, but is that all it takes? think back to Claude’s backstory, and to the amount of people who tried to kill him; didn’t these people just finally get what they wanted?

in fact, if Edelgard wants Claude -- and/or his parents -- off her back, accomplishing such is possibly just as simple as entreating with their enemies inside the country. remember, the paralogue where she fights off an Almyran charge also ends with her expressing a desire to reach across the Throat diplomatically, where previous authorities of Fódlan failed to do so because of their strict adherence to xenophobic dogmas. chalk that up to Edelgard’s naïveté or overconfidence all you might want; the long and narrow of it is that the possibility of exploiting inner Almyran politics to Fódlan’s favor is new ground that she breaks by herself.

of course, when it comes down to it, she might not even have to do any such heavy lifting, because it’s just not a given that Claude and/or his parents would be able to enact this vengeance that’s being expected of them, or would even want such a thing. this is, in fact, the breaking point of a lot of other smaller theses about someone who would hypothetically raise the flag of revenge against Edelgard’s regime. y’see...

-Thesis: any number of polities in Fódlan will never accept being violently subjugated by Edelgard

over the course of Edelgard’s march, a bunch of people die, and a bunch of territories get conquered. any number of the families that lose something in the process will then be assumed by fans to be plotting to retaliate against Edelgard for it. this, despite that the exact opposite of it happens over and over again in canon.

and do note, I’m not even just talking about CF. on all of the other routes, you spend a significant amount of the post-timeskip fighting your own country-of-choice’s forces, because a whole bunch of Fódlan folded to Edelgard without a second thought and another whole bunch is just going to stay on the fence unless you demonstrate enough force to draw them to your side.

in the Alliance, about half of all the most influential families side with Edelgard immediately, to the point of being willing to fight the other families over it. furthermore, it seems that Goneril, one of the families that isn’t a part of this pro-imperial bloc, often gets cast as as a focus of post-CF imperial opposition, because they’re very protective of their baby girl who probably died in the war -- nevermind that they don’t seem to be at all uncomfortable with asking for their dutiful new overlords to take care of the Locket while Holst is having another sick/poisoned fit. as it turns out, Hilda can keep her responsibility for choosing to give her life in that battle (against explicit orders, even), and warrior families can get over the fact that war gets people killed sometimes

the Kingdom is the same story; an entire territorial half of it will fold to the Empire on all routes. outside of CF, this requires a little coup, but if none of the western lords ever stood up to Cornelia, what would make them any sort of eager to stand up to Edelgard? hell, AM shows us Annette’s uncle having to give up his own life just so Cornelia doesn’t so much as get the impression that he’s colluding with Dimitri. and then, in CF, there’s no coup, but that same half of the Kingdom flips like a yugioh card as soon as Edelgard gets past Arianrhod, despite that the Kingdom, with the church’s help, is still exhibiting roughly enough military strength to keep pushing the Empire back.

in case you missed it, that’s Edelgard’s whole strategy: she tries to take the fight straight to the people who would never surrender to her -- because once she’s dealt with those, then everyone else surrenders. most of the authority in Fódlan is held by scattered people who put their own individual interests first, and happily base the side of the war that they support only on where they see the best odds of not getting killed, as opposed to any manner of loyalty or loftier value. this aspect of Fódlan gets called out a lot in the game, too

regardless, though, it sounds like there’s a lot of the fandom that’s still constantly projecting a specific type of loyalty onto these people. some sort of devotion to king and country, an appeal to a sovereignity which none of these countries, not even the Empire, probably really have. most of the nobles in Fódlan don’t actually give a flying shit what government they’re currently operating under, and haven’t given one since Adrestia was whole. even the ostensibly tidy three little country arrangement that we’re presented at the onset of the game is actually historically recent.

(fun fact: did you know that, when Leicester first became its own thing, Faerghus was also two separate countries? those two got back together, but Leicester decided not to get back together with them and they made a whole war about it. I feel like that’s a little less than the stark sense of nationality that folks keep projecting on these territories)

so yeah -- there are still lots of fair accusations to make of whether Edelgard’s regime would be a good thing, and whether it would survive. but here’s some that ought to be discarded, at least for those of us who aren’t in the edelhating bubble

[maxdark158]

PART TWO OF BEING INSPIRED AND WRITING ANYWAY

PLEASE check out the amazing @ozmav my friend!! AMAZING!!

Characters are probably OOC because MLB is a kids show and you guys liked stressed and cursing Damian so I kept that going even though it’s probably OOC

Angel in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Ao3

Demon in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Ao3

Fanart for AiG: Riddler ~ Joker thank you @thegreysman

Please tag me in any fanart you draw for this guys ^^

oooOOOooo

Damian tried to ignore his phone after checking it for the thirteenth time. But who was counting?

He was, actually. Because it seems the stupid worry feeling will never fucking go away! It took root, and it’s only growing. Damian wondered if drinking weedkiller works on emotions. The bitches.

He wasn’t even that worried initially! Sure, he wanted his An- Marinette to text him when she got to the hotel, but that was just… a friend thing. It’s what friends ask! And they were friends.

Damian wasn’t worried on the car ride to the manor, he had only checked his phone once then. When his father questioned him about The Riddler incident, he was thoroughly distracted and didn’t check at all. After he left the room he checked twice in one minute just to make sure he didn’t miss anything in the first check.

He checked sparsely while training briefly, adding up to eight… okay, maybe not so sparsely. But at this point the awful god damn plant had grown a mouth and it was gnawing on his sanity, bugging him every moment of peace he had.

Damian was getting really fucking sick of this whole worry business. It was awful! Why did Grayson partake in it for so many years? Why did anyone?

He was beginning to understand his classmates’ sense of humor now. But “I want to ka-shoot myself,” was not as funny as they thought it was.

Damian was so busy thinking about worrying and getting more worried – the fucking circle of life – that when he checked his phone for the fourteenth time, he realized he missed a message from Marinette.

Angel: I’m at the hotel now.

Thank fuck. Damian banished all the worry from his mind – leave, motherfucker – and typed out a response.

Damian: That’s good

Damian: Did you get in trouble?

Wait fuck the worry wasn’t gone. He wanted to smack the phone against his head. Or break his thumbs for typing that without his permission.

Angel: Professor Mendeleiev must’ve been tired or something.

Angel: She didn’t leacture

Damian bit his lip. Marinette needed to work on her English.

Angel: Lecture?

Damian: *lecture

Angel: Quiet, English is hard

He could fucking understand that! It may have been long ago but Damian had to learn once too, ya know.

Damian: Understandable.

Damian: In my original question I meant any of your classmates btw

Holy fucking shit his thumbs would be cut off by sunlight he swears to all the justice league members-

Angel: btw?

Angel: Oh by the way

Damian: yeah

Angel: I’m good at text slang in French, okay

Damian: I don’t doubt you

He really didn’t. Marinette seemed intelligent if The Riddler incident had anything to say about it.

Angel: Anyway Alya tried to bother me but I’m good now

He frowned. Alya? She hadn't told him about her.

Angel: Professor Mendeleiev told her off for bothering me after my ‘traumatic’ encounter with a Gotham villain

Damian: Speaking of, are you SURE you’re alright Angel

Damian sighed, letting his head drop. Okay, fucking fine he was still fucking worried and he hated it. His thumbs weren’t to blame, his fucking emotions were.

He pulled up Google to look up liquid weedkiller when his Ang- Marinette texted back.

Angel: I’m fine

Angel: I’ve survived akuma for three years, I’m not about to let some riddle fanatic with terrible clothing choices ruin my day

Damian: His clothes are that bad?

Good, subject change. Maybe he can stop fucking worrying.

Angel: Too much green, for one

Angel: Green shouldn’t be used in large portions when it’s that bright of a shade

Angel: Also the cloth itself was cheap, but the kind of cheap meant to look expensive if you don’t know cloth good

Damian frowned. That was so fucking obvious. Surely she didn’t actually make that mistake…

Damian: *well

Angel: Whatever

Angel: Also his hat didn’t match the type of suit he was wearing

Angel: If he wants to go old fashioned he should at least match the time period

Angel: Longer coat, more layers

Angel: He is an atrocity

Her comments were appreciable though. He could see where she came from.

Damian: he is

Angel: If I had time to cry then my tears would had been blood

Damian: *have

Damian grinned. If Marinette didn’t want her fucking grammar fixed she should learn how to spell in English.

A different motherfucking bitch of an emotion appeared at that thought. He didn’t like that one either. It made him feel bad for being mean.

Angel: istg

Damian: It appears you’re learning

Angel: Yepp

Damian: Also the Gotham news posted an article online about you

Might as well bite the bullet, right?

Damian: “Unnamed Teenager From France Holds off The Riddler Until Batman Arrives!”

Angel: Wait what?

Angel: But we both held him off?

Damian: I was kind of useless, you did most of the work

God damn it! Damian thought he told that emotion to get the fuck out! He was fucking Robin he isn’t useless, he just happened to not be needed at that exact moment.

Damian: I left shortly after you solved his riddle because the Robins had arrived

He grumbled to himself. He hated emotions. It wasn’t like he hadn’t ever felt them before, but they were easier to ignore. This girl made them hard to ignore, and Damian wasn’t sure why.

He did know that he fucking hated it.

After a moment, he realized h- Marinette hadn’t replied for a few minutes.

Damian: You there?

Angel: Yeah. I was just reading the article

Good. He didn’t want anything to happen- motherfucking dammit.

Angel: The Riddler was bad at hand to hand combat. It was easy to take him down with the practice I have from Paris

Damian: I bet.

He saw the time on his phone. Marinette had more field trip stuff tomorrow morning, right? Shouldn’t she get to bed?

Damian: It’s getting late, Angel. We should go to bed.

Damian: Goodnight

Angel: Goodnight

Angel: Also I’ll find a chat name for you soon, promise

Damian’s smile felt weird on his face but unlike the god damn worry and fucking other emotions, he didn’t hate the feeling of it.

After replying, he prepared to get dressed for his patrol as Robin.

oooOOOooo

“Sooo, Robin,” Drake dropped down next to him. “Want to share why you were at that ice cream parlor with that pigtailed French girl?”

“Fuck off,” is Damian’s extremely eloquent response. He can say it in many different languages.

“Wait, Demon Spawn has a girlfriend?” fucking Todd over the fucking comms in his fucking awful Red Hood suit. At least his current helmet didn’t have the fucking lips.

“No, I don’t-“

“I’m trying to figure that out, Red Hood, so would you kindly butt out of the conversation.”

“Of course Red Robin, good luck getting anything out of him though.”

“I don’t have a fucking girlfriend you numbskulls,” Damian hissed through the comms.

“Wait what’s this about a girlfriend, Robin?” Grayson’s overexcited cheerleader voice screamed. Damian wanted to rip out his eardrums.

“Red Robin, I thought I instructed you to leave him alone about this,” finally, his father, for once being a fucking voice of reason, speaks on the comms.

“Bruce you said I should wait until he admits to having a girlfriend,” Drake sounded too smug, Damian wanted to cut it off his masked face. “We know that isn’t going to happen.”

“I hate this fucking family,” Damian hissed.

oooOOOooo

Marinette hadn’t missed her field trip this time. Or had she? Maybe she slept in really fucking late. Damian didn’t know. He didn’t know what her sleeping schedule was like.

She could have also been captured or killed. Those were not fun thoughts. The fucking worry was back, like a virus. Damian anxiously awaited his weedkiller.

She likely wasn’t kidnapped or dead. His father would have known by now and would have told him. He hopes. If his father didn’t tell him he’s a fucking asshole.

“Master Damian.”

“Yes?” he turned around to face Alfred, grateful to be away from the god damn brain-eating plant in his head.

“I simply wanted to prevent you from walking into that wall,” Alfred gestured behind Damian.

He glanced and – yep. Fucking hell. He almost walked into a wall because of the god damn weed of an emotion forcibly taking his mind hostage.

He was having a grand ol’ time.

“Perhaps you would like to go for a drive?” Alfred asked, a single brow raised.

Damian hesitated. “Alright. Where do you want to go?”

“We can figure it out in the car, Master Damian.” Alfred went to grab the keys and his shoes. Damian checked on when his weedkiller would arrive.

A week.

Fucking fuck fuck.

He should have paid for one-hour shipping.

“Are you ready to go, Master Damian?”

“Yes.”

Alfred didn’t try to talk to him during the drive, for which Damian was grateful though. He hated this emotion thing, and people forcing him to talk made it so much worse.

His phone buzzed. Damian pulled it out and checked it.

Angel: Kill me now

His eyes widened. What happened? Is she okay? Did someone- god fucking motherfucking dammit bitch.

Damian: What’s wrong?

Stupid god damn worry.

Angel: We have to all get lunch as a class before I’m free

Angel: I’m in the group with Liar Rossi

Damian raised a brow. Marinette hadn’t told him much about this girl in her class, but he knew she lied and nobody but Marinette knew she lied.

He didn’t like her.

Angel: Death would be sweatier

Damian: *sweeter

Angel: Rude

Damian: Anyway

Damian: You can’t die yet

Damian: We still technically didn’t get ice cream

Absolutely wonderful excuse you fucking asswhipe. Damian should be a politician with that reasoning.

He looked around, recognizing the streets. They were a bit weird from the actual street instead of the rooftops, but-

Damian: Also you’re at the Gotham City Heroes and Villains Museum right?

Angel: Yes I am

Damian fought to keep the smi- self-satisfied smirk off his face. Bingo.

Damian: I’m nearby

Damian: I can pick you up for lunch

Angel: OMG really? Please do I’d really really like that

Damian: omw

“Alfred,” Damian leaned up toward the front seat. “Head to the Gotham City Heroes and Villains Museum? I’d like to pick someone up.”

“Of course Master Damian,” Alfred’s tone didn’t betray anything about his thoughts, but for some reason that was calming to him.

The car drive to the museum was fairly short, if Damian was honest. They were only a few minutes away to begin with anyway.

When they arrived, Damian saw a redhaired girl with glasses yelling at his An- Marinette. At Marinette. He couldn’t hear what Marinette had said, but it must have been good. The red-haired girl’s jaw fucking dropped. The people behind her looked fucking dead.

Priceless.

Marinette saw him and he waved. Alfred unlocked the door, and Marinette got in. She didn’t look back at her classmates' faces as Alfred drove away.

Shit. Something must have happened. He wasn’t good with emotions though, after all he ordered weedkiller to see if he could get rid of fucking worry.

So, Damian Wayne did what any Wayne would do when faced with emotions.

Ignore them.

“Where would you like to eat, Angel?” Damian asked.

Shit, fuck, too insensitive.

Marinette shrugged. “I’m not sure, I don’t know what’s here.”

She sounded so goddamn miserable-

Damian frowned. “Angel, you okay?”

Fucking shit, stupid mouth. Learn the fucking rules. He should be banned from fucking talking.

“I’m okay,” she mumbled. “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”

Damian wanted to press the issue but decided against it. If he was happy when Alfred didn’t make him talk feelings, maybe Marinette would be too.

He was a friend first – wait first before what, exactly?

“Alfred, can you take us to the nearest,” he glanced at Marinette. “four-star restaurant?”

“As you wish Master Damian.”

He hoped Marinette didn’t feel out of place, but he wanted to lift her spirits. She deserved to smile – that was a weird fucking sentence what the fuck?

Damian is pretty sure he’s losing his marbles.

“I know,” Marinette suddenly blurted out. “I know you’re Damian Wayne.”

Fucking fuck fuck.

Shit. She’s probably pissed he didn’t tell her-

“I just want you to know that doesn’t change anything. You’re still my friend, and I don’t care who your dad is and who you are.”

Damian gaped at her for a moment before shaking his head. He should have fucking told her, he’s an ass. “I’m sorry you had to find out on your own. I should have told you-”

Marinette interrupted, “you didn’t have to. You don’t owe me that.”

He was confused. What?

She didn’t want to know who he was right off the bat? She was okay with that secret?

“As a stranger or even a friend, you don’t owe me any details about who you are. Ever,” Marinette told him. “You’re allowed to keep secrets and not tell me things you aren’t comfortable sharing. It isn’t fair of me to demand you tell me everything.”

Holy fucking shit.

This… this woman…

“Thank you,” he said earnestly. “I… nobody’s ever said secrets are okay…”

Marinette shrugged. “I can’t help if I feel left out, but forcing you to tell me everything isn’t how friendship is supposed to work. If you don’t want to tell me, it’s okay.”

Damian’s smile was small, and it felt a bit out of place on his face. He couldn’t find it within himself to care.

“Perhaps instead of a restaurant, I can take you both to the mansion for your lunch?” Alfred, the god damn traitor, suggested.

He wanted to say ‘have you lost your god damn marbles, Alfred?’ but he didn’t.

Instead, he said, “You sure Alfred?” like a fucking loser.

Marinette glanced at him. “You don’t have to if you aren’t comforta-”

“No, it’s not that,” he assured. Why would she think he was uncomfortable? His brothers were menaces, but he was used to them! Marinette, however... “My brothers can be… rambunctious.”

Drake and Todd were going to have a fucking field day, especially after what they pulled last night over the comms. He was lucky Grayson was working today. But those two motherfuckers…

Marinette smiled. “I can handle them if that’s the only reason you’re nervous.”

Damian thought for a moment.

Fucking fuck fuck.

He hoped she could. Because if they caused her any unnecessary harm or discomfort he would murder their asses.

With pleasure too.

But one look told Damian that he wouldn’t need to. This girl was going to be the death of him. He hoped the weedkiller was miraculously early.

He sighed. “Alfred, please talk us to the mansion.”

“My pleasure, Master Damian.”

Fucking fuck fuck.

[unfortunatematchups]

(Hello is this blog dead because I haven't seen you post since February)

nope, this blog aint dead. i have it open on a browser tab as long as im online to check on any new asks and messages. im going to leave a short explanation here for those who dont want to waste their time.

weve been busy with other interests and ive gotten something like a writers block. matchup block? since im the primary writer here, theres pretty much no activity as long as im not writing. thats it. no reason, nothing to do with personal problems. just a block. 

keep reading for the real reason. you might not like it, but here it is.

im going to use these john sprites to convey my emotion so it might clear up any doubts on how im feeling. lets start with the process of how i write a match.

this is what a draft looks like. i write out how i would rant about this pairing, errors and all, then i leave it for the next day to come back to this and clean this draft into a polished, three-pointer paragraph. the thing is, im the only one doing this, so its obviously going to take long. i dont mind, i love to type and see something spawn from my effort. 

the problem? these rants are people-specific. right. whatever im rambling about in the draft, its about the ask and the ask only. it wouldnt fit if you crammed it into another ask, it wouldnt make a lick-a-sense if it was used to answer someone else. but, when i start to polish it up with clear and coherent sentences, suddenly it becomes… static. it becomes plain and simple, uninteresting and linear. think of it like youre hearing about a book from someone you know and trust versus a review. the person you know describes why the book is great with a lot of passion and love, but theres a lot of errors in delivery and some awkward bits they havent flushed out yet. 

nevertheless, its enjoying and persuasive, because you can see how they love it so much to the point where it gets them like that. they dont plan out how theyll describe the book to you word by word, because theres no need to. seeing how it gets them excited gets you excited, so you buy their faith in the book. 

what about a review? its clean, its cut, its perfect in delivery. it has a flow, introducing you to the story and overall appeal, then maybe it digs down for a spoiler or two. it gels with you in a simple fashion, doesnt quite have that connection a passionate ramble has. because its professional. 

thats what ive been making this blog to be. professional. i answer the request with a polished, pretty and perfect answer. theres no personal connection. i could take a match, swap out a couple of words, maybe cut out a bit, and it would be clear for another match. it feels static to write those paragraphs, and it progressively gets worse each time i repeat the process. im chipping away at something so close, so personal and unique into something dull and professional because i want it to look clean.

but thats my end of the problem. i dont like how it comes out, so what? people enjoy it. they must be, seeing how theres fifty three fucking asks for matchups and 73 followers. 

i wont show all the asks i have in the inbox, but ill tell you what majority, if not all of them, sound like. 

“I’m bi/pan”, “I have brown hair/eyes”, “I’m chubby/short”, “I like art/gaming/reading/writing”, “I’m shy around people I don’t know, I’m crazy around people I know”, “I’m a nerd”, “I have ADHD/Anxiety”. 

of course, there are some exceptions. not everything i say is as is, but from 50+ asks, these are what about three quarters of them sound like. there are personal differences, like music tastes and obscure hobbies, but the general gist is there. 

im not going to say anything about the sexuality orientation, because im in a friend group where majority, if not all, are not cishets. yes, people like art and gaming. 

but thats it? these descriptors are such shallow answers. i can personalise a match for you, sure, but does it feel like its right? you like gaming. so what, do you like ALL games? from FPS to Dating sims to Horror games to Sports games to Adult games? do you like ALL art? Surrealism, sculpture, comics, abstract, even those where they splash paint and call it a day? really? i dont think im asking for a lot when it comes to being specific. some asks literally just go ‘im a bi female, 5′3, i like gaming and drawing, im sometimes shy but i can be sassy at times’. 

with everyone being so similar and vague, how am i supposed to give a match i feel is right? i might as well take everyones favourite boy david elizabeth strider and talk about how he likes your art and how he likes gaming and oh isnt it so great that you two like music. 

there are some unique ones, and its pretty obvious which ones they are because ive put in more love into them. and i havent been able to do that to many asks. 

and the physical descriptions. while im sure some of the characters do have types and preferences, i dont care for appearances. i dont care if youre fat or skinny, i dont care if youre tall or short, brown hair or blonde. you being morbidly obese or morbidly skinny may affect the match depending on how i feel the characters might respond to someone with those physical traits, but they shouldnt matter. 

i dont need how you look. i dont want how you look. its shallow and unimportant. it takes up space in the ask, because you could be using it to describe your personality or interests in detail. not that youre limit to one ask, you can send in an entire fucking fourteen page essay and id match you, as long as youre telling me something i can pair you with. 

telling me youre ‘chubby’ or ‘blonde’ doesnt help visualise shit. this shouldnt be new information to you or anyone else. writing shit like ‘he loves your curves!’ or ‘she likes how short you are because it makes you cute’ is bullshit and is simply self-serving nonsense. yes, its an additional bonus if your lover likes how youre short or fat, but that shouldnt be why theyre in love with you. a paragraph based on how much they like to hold you are appreciate your body is utter fucking nonsense. you appreciate your own body, and thats it. 

i dont feel inspired when i look at some of these asks. i dont feel like i should answer any of these because a) im not obligated to, this blog is just a side hobby and b) id be writing something i dont enjoy for people who might also not enjoy it. i dont deserve to sit at my laptop and write something i feel doesnt represent my work or ideas well, and the person who im matching doesnt deserve the half-assed boring paragraph of nonsense im pulling out of my ass just to clear the inbox. 

ive taken some time away from this blog and upon receiving this ask, i wanted to use the same old excuse every other blog uses: ‘we’ve been busy, so we went on an unannounced hiatus’. 

but thats not true. with the pandemic forcing lockdowns, theres essentially nothing else for us to do. if anything, this would mean that we have more time to write. 

so there it is. my truthful answer as to why nothings coming out of this blog.

part of this is my fault. i thought that maybe i could force myself to match all those vague asks that feel like theyre about the same person, just with a couple of changes. but i cant. i wont. im not going to keep writing shit i dont like, and im not going to keep giving half-assed matches, giving characters people are at the very least sure to be okay with. 

i want to write exciting, unique and adorable relationships. i thought that with the homestuck fandom being so vast and creative, maybe i would get the chance to meet and write for a couple of people who were just so different it would make pairings id never thought of. 

but nah, it looks like everything is the same. all the anon asks start to bleed together. the responses start becoming the same. im given descriptions that sound so tame, so generalised. like somehow, youre afraid of letting me know who you are as a person. or not, perhaps you just struggle with expressing yourself. thats why youre using anon to send in your ask, isnt it? 

i turned anon on because i wanted to respect privacy. i wanted people to be able to send in each and every detail about themselves while remaining behind a mask so they could get the best match without exposing every inch of themselves on a blog. maybe that was my mistake. 

ill leave the matches open, but im only going to do the ones that interest me. but if you decide that you dont give a fuck about the quality of the match, tell me or something. i have drafts that i can just post. maybe youd like that. 

-pretty obviously, mod olio.