#everything so far was total shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zroqravity · 2 months

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I think I finally got inspired for a piece of the charecter I've been failing at drawing so many times perhaps this is the one and it's big if so

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armoralor · 1 month

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ever since I found out more than one person is legitimately passing around my url in discord servers + telling people to block me for not liking specific ships (ironically not even ships I have issues with), I've started wondering how many people have blocked me because my name is on a list

#so far three people have reached out and apologized for blocking me due to “online friends” telling them to block me for made up shit #not to say i'm not annoying and undeserving of blocks- people are absolutely welcome to block me & I totally understand #I guess I would rather people block me for stuff I'm actually doing than fake reasons #be the boogeyman you wish to see in the world #text #OH the best part was one of the people doing this i had never heard of before in my life & never interacted with LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #a real “YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!!!” “I don't even know who you are” moment

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supermaks · 3 months

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Kit do you not rep Charles anymore 😭

Of course I do he’s prime I just need a break from his team and that fucking dog

#ask #binottos gone. his bones are gone. sainz on his way out. the evil has been DEFEATED #we did it. we found everything that was wrong wid Ferrari and put it in a box and sent it far far away where it cant hurt us anymore #finally a clean slate for elkann and a blank cheque for vasseur to rebuild il cavallino the way enzo wanted. pure italian excellence #and a semi italian boy to lead it all. vasseur FINALLY recognizes leclercs potential as n1 and turns him into the central piece of a new er #they get him hamilton. biggest media event in f1 history #a proven winner. an upgrade in every way. bigger than ferrari? that wont be a question he'll need to answer #binotto is bones. f1-75 is dust. next year sainz will be nothing but a bad memory and the rusting crux of all their PAST problems #this is vasseurs vision now. his holy plan. his sf-24. his personnel. wid elkanns blessings and his deep. deep pockets.#2 years later. the monster's gone. vasseur is here.#and what has vasseur done?#the garages remain the same. no big poaches from rivals. nothing to prepare for hamiltons arrival.#maranello follows a dev path that comes from the same wind tunnel as haas. haas' data correlates. their upgrades work. ferrari's dont.#last 2 upgrades failed because the very concept of the car was wrong. 2 months behind at least.#((took merc almost 2 and a half years to deal wid the damage of an incorrect baseline and correct course))#ferrari came into the triple header 2nd in the standings and left wid 50 points TOTAL. baby mclarens-first-wcc run behind by 7 #out of those 50 points none was sharls #sharl has scored 1 point in 4 fucking races #vasseur's ferrari has turned a generational qualifier into a kid whose idea of making pole is running experiments in q3 #because who cares anyway if the car is setup for races except it aint setup for that shit either #so quali has to work ((it doesnt)) sunday has to be flawless ((never is)) but to point fingers is a worse crime than this approach to gp's #last gp. silverstone. as representative as it gets. sharl fails to make q3 #bouncing around in a setup that hadnt been previously tested on either fp but wud surely make it worth their sunday #sunday: sharl gets lapped #ik sharl better than this #but idk what im looking at rn #I ignored the influencer milestone special helmet because I expected a performance that wud make me forget it #I need him to be a racing driver #he says 'he cant find the words anymore' bro I rlly need him to find them #I'll always ALWAYS root for sharl but to keep it 💯 idk what I'm rooting for anymore

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blushinggoku · 8 months

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Been watching some dbs related videos and I'm sosoo glad I gave up on that anime because oh my god the story gets worse with every arc. Wtf are they even doing anymore

#watched a vid summarizing the granolah arc and literally genuinely what was that #my favorite part was when frieza showed up outta nowhere with a new form he'd cultivated #in a alternate dimension that distorts time in a similar way that the room of space and time does #proceeded to one hit kill the big bad of the week. knock out goku and vegeta for shits and giggles and then dip #hilarious #but it was meant to be totally serious and to show that frieza's totallyyyy a threat again guys for real lets goo round 3 #and that was literally the most interesting part of the arc #Im so mad about the fucking bardock retcon #but not about the hypothetical wish he made. I remember reading somewhere that the English translation of the manga was incorrect #and ik a lot of people argue that the wish he made just retconned the whole message of dragon ball #but thats based on the English version of the manga #also speaking of bardock and retcons related to him Im still livid over the fact that they changed goku's origin story #to be an almost exact ripoff of superman's #and they retconned the start of the saiyan arc with that too #radirz said goku was sent to earth to destroy it as a baby. but now goku was sent to earth on purpose to save his life?#bullshit. I call bullshit #man Im sorry that most of my original posts so far have related to me bitching about Super #I want to engage with dragon ball contentbso bad but how can I when mostly everything is about Super now?#can't even read a good fanfic without goku's character being bastardized and infantalized the way it is in Super #literally fouvd my dream fic the other day but it got ruined 12 chapters in because the writer had started watching super #and completely changed the plit of the fic and goku's character to fit into the world where super resides and it made me want to eat glass #I will be more funny and talk about better dbz related stuff soon I prommy <3 #star scrambles

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chenziee · 3 months

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I have three zine fics that I can theoretically post now but I'm so mentally and emotionally exhausted after the past two weeks that I can't even bring myself to just... post any of them

#katie thinks she's relevant #also i don't want to disappoint my beautiful amazing lawlu people by posting something else AGAIN #i only posted two lawlus this year so far :(#~~and both flopped badly rip~~#and it sucks because i miss them and i crave validation and gen and rarepairs are not gonna give me that #i'm just. so fucking tired #work's been a total and absolute dumpster fire #and i've been dealing with ~~debt bringer~~ the process of getting a new car #and registering it and all that #on top of work shit #and the OLD CAR HANGING IN LIMBO FOR MOTHS and hanging over my head because yeah i'm gonna have to deal with THAT #and i finally took my laptop to be fixed and they're not totally sure what the cause is exactly #so it's all up in the air what that's gonna turn into #and... you know... all of that costs money #so that worry on top of everything else #i need a vacation from life

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jikigo · 5 months

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you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

#Worst emoji combo ever but it’s gon be such big depression hours down here so scroll if you want im on the brink of throwing up #don’t you just bloody love it how over the past 3 years you’ve only seen people the large total of…. 4 times!!! An average of seeing someon #outside of school 1.3 times per year!! What a bloody fantastic way to spend your teenage years!#Don’t you also just love it when people talk right to you about how they all went out together over the weekend and like did some stupid #shit like your average high schooler would do and you’re just like “oh. I went to my 1 and a half hour long dance class and got ignored the #entire time and when you did try to talk they just spoke over you” oh my fucking god I hate that place so much even the teacher fucking #ignores me once we were going in a circle and she was asking everyone what they got for Christmas and I was in the middle of the circle so #thought hey maybe someone will actually acknowledge my existence but she fucking ignored me and went to next person like why the fuck #And now I’m debating staying in that shithole bc I was invited to a gc for that class and I stupidly thought that someone might want me #There. I wasn’t even invited I secretly scanned the qr code to join over someone else’s shoulder #everyone else there is the best of bloody friends and I’m just there talking to one friend who I don’t even think is my friend #“Hey man I’m really fucking sad rn can I talk to you” “womp womp have you heard stupid fact no.3848594 about my ocs while I ignore you when #you talk about anything else about me” oh my god shut up literally no one else sane would see someone like that their closest friend rn #At least someone wants to talk to me #Like what is it that makes people not want to see my please just tell me I’ll change I’m amazing at changing my personality to fit others #promise me on that I’ve done it my entire life #Even just messaging me more than once every year and I’d consider you my best friend this is how bad I’m getting #What is so bloody bad about me that no one else likes I don’t care how badly you fucking word it just something #It shouldn’t be normal to wish death on people you call your mates bc you heard about them all going out together without you #Oh dear did the gc’s without me in it there’s one for every friend group I’ve ever been in why isn’t there one for the main group I’m in rn #Idfc anymore just tell me what I’m doing wrong I keep asking people if they want to go out or how far away they live from some place #And it’s always met with ignoring me talking over me or immediately changing the subject #Please if you’re someone I know irl what the fuck am I doing fucking wrong I can’t fucking do this anymore be as mean as you like #Why the fuck does no one ever want to be around me why do I hear so much about stuff others are doing together but never me #It shouldn’t be normal to prefer being in a toxic relationship than what I’m in rn #I fucking hate everything

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pissfizz · 6 months

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I’m going to lose my mind oh my god I am so scared for this quincenera wtf

#NOT MINE BTW I MISSED MY CHANCE LMAO #but Jesus Christ family I’ve never met before flying in from Panama…. god I’m so scared #I’ve already been dealing with some wack ass imposter syndrome ass shit cuz of how I was raised this is gonna make it SO MUCH worse #I DIDNT EVEN KNOW PANAMANIANS GOT QUINCES #i was raised with almost zero influence from any culture whatsoever I wasn’t even raised close to that side of the family #and like I’m mixed with white but I can’t even use that as an excuse cuz the cousin who’s quince it is is also mixed #and that side of the family is super tied to the culture and they speak Spanish and shit #i don’t even speak Spanish even if the family from Panama doesn’t think ima. total embarrassment what if most of them don’t speak english #when I’m surrounded by white people 24/7 I feel like a total outlier but the second I’m around anyone else latine I feel like that but WORSE #i don’t speak Spanish I don’t know anything about the culture I’m from the fucking pacific northwest and do digital art and watch anime #i am so far completely removed from everything I’m gonna be sick #my grandma is already so judgy about stuff my uncle was even WORSE and made fun of the stuff that was too white or too American about me #my cousins throwing the party are the least of my worries cuz at least their mixed and second/third Gen too #but oh my god the family I’ve never met before I’m so scared I’m so scared #i was already thinking like. can I even call myself latine bc of how I was raised and how far removed I am from everything. I’m mixed so -#-should I just associate myself more with the white side of my family. am I being fraudulent by identifying with that term just bc I have -#-the blood is that even enough maybe that kid had a point when he said I shouldn’t count as hispanic if I don’t know spanish #and thinking about showing up to my cousins quince as. me. it’s terrifying it’s awful I want to go I want to meet these people I want to -#-celebrate my cousin and be happy for her but GOD what if everyone hates us and just tolerates us cuz we’re related to them #i would say we’re the black sheep of the family but I feel like white is more fitting cuz I feel like we’re just slightly brown white people #god god god I’m so stresssd out by this #is this a weird thing to be worried about is this stupid is this selfish #and to make matters worse I DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET HER FOR A GIRT #vent

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ptsd-tiger · 7 months

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isn't it amazing how every single attempt to try and fix myself comes immediately crashing down on me because tiger always resurfaces. really funny joke, it is.

#almost like theres nothing i can do to rid myself of past abuse #i get too scared #i back out or lash out #and thats where it ends #back to square one of being a total failure #so. tiger is an OSDD type 1a alter. she holds trauma and believes everything is horrible and can only be settled with fights #all of those feelings of course are far more indepth than just that ofc. but if it's not obvious. that's where all the posts here come from #tiger is me. yet at the same time. is not the me everyone else sees. not even close. does that make sense?#people leave when tiger arises. so tiger stays here.#yet in the end she always finds a way to break her cage and scare everyone away. be it friend. acquaintance. professional. family. therapy.#this is not 'cheetah' by the way. 'cheetah is a type 1b alter. her name isnt actually cheetah but yknow. its a coverup to fit big cats them #those are the only alters i have. had you ever talked to the 'host' you'd never be able to tell it was me.#and thats why shit sucks ass

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elgaravel · 2 years

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OC DUALITY

was tagged by @morvaris to take this uquiz for my ocs >:) thank you nico this was super fun!!

tagging: @numbaoneflaya @time-is-a-lake @aartyom @nuclearstorms @girlbosselrond @druidgroves @malefiicarum @swordcoasts @aldcaldos @sufferthorn @steelport @calenhads @lavinet and anyone else who’d like to join in !!

you and the hat man

oh boy you're fighting demons aren't you? it's like you're in a constant staring competition with something that's always in the peripheral. what the fuck. (at least, that's how people who don't know you would react). at this point you've probably gotten pretty familiar with the hat man. he's a reliable kind of guy. keeps to himself, sure, but you can trust him to be there. maybe a haunting isn't too bad if it's never left your side. you can only imagine what it will be like when he's not there any more.

god-hungry scientist and their abominable child

you stitched something together inside of yourself and gave it life with light from the sky and now it won't die and you can't kill it because part of you loves it and you're not quite right in the head or the person you used to be but at the end of the day it's simply a beast of sadness. you crave the mercy you didn't get from your creators and so i'm telling you please forgive yourself. please hold the monster by the hand.

moon curse of the werewolf

you have found yourself hungered or sickened or ambitious to the point of emotional carnage. you are fine, until you're not, and then you could rip someone in your way apart with your bared teeth by complete accident, and later claw at yourself in fits of pain trying to apologize. do you look at the moon that blessed you in her name, at her marred beauty and baneful eyes, and wish she could just crush that loving-hateful heart of yours before it crushes itself? every bite you take out of flesh is a response to the threads of silver bullets in you that haven't healed. the duality is that the human inside is howling too, gnashing, and without the wolf pelt, everyone can ignore it and turn away. at some point, you got tired of the moon being your only witness. now the wolf is there to make sure others know that you are hurt, and deserving of humanity, of attention to wounds. because that wolf loves you; all of you; and knows when you are hurt better than yourself.

#feel free to ignore this if you want !! idk how many people have already been tagged fjsdkl #anyway. going to be annoying abt this in the tags now <3 #the main thing that gets me abt gray's is the 'maybe a haunting isn't too bad if it's never left your side'#like????? ik the hat man thing is probs supposed to be funny and it kinda is but it fits them so well #almost everyone close to them has died or left them atp but maybe it isn't so bad. just to have one constant #dmitri :| yeah. yeah #everything he felt he had to become to save his sister who was dead the whole time anyway but ended up being a better survival tactic anyway #so he just stuck with it until he died but then he comes back as a demon and now he has to live with what he did forever #i don't think he really could ever forgive himself. mainly for failing nina but it's started to eat him alive less and less over the years #mainly bc he does everything he can not to think about it too much but he also doesn't really want to totally get rid of that part of #himself. the part that was capable of torturing and killing all those people bc it really was powered by love and desperation to some extent #and that proves that maybe he has some shred of humanity left even if she's been gone for decades now #not that he does shit like that anymore. but he's capable and willing to for those he loves even if they'd probably hate him for it #and miko's :(#yeah #lashing out at people when it gets to be too much which is often given the life that she lives and then beating herself up for it nonstop #but it's also a way to protect herself and even tho she died young it got her pretty far #and it helped her protect other people (mainly gray and blake) when it came down to it because she couldn't stand seeing them hurt either #idk if i articulated myself v well but yeah jfdsklfdjs my dmc gang are all my blorbos #my ocs #tag #gray #dmitri #miko

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orcelito · 8 months

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I always get so angry but then I play video games and I'm no longer so angry

This is a problem when it comes to wanting to leave my shit ass job

#speculation nation #i was absolutely ranting with my coworker about this shit #if either of us leave we're both going. straight up.#boss was threatening to fire them and im like. if he does? im quitting on the fucking spot.#i dont have a job lined up yet but im gonna start seriously looking #and if it comes down to it i dont think itll take too long for me to find Something. not with my qualifications.#might not be the best paying job right away but so long as i have Something & it doesnt make me utterly miserable #itd still be better than this fucking shithole.#i used to love this place but everything has soured because of him.#ive toughed it out for Far too fucking long. and ive finally reached the end of my Fucking Rope.#8 years total of my life ive given to this store. but no more.#it's not a matter of 'if'. it's a matter of 'when'.#and once we leave at least 2 of the other seasoned employees will be leaving.#4 out of 6 of the fully trained drink makers. gone.#and the other 2 are leaving at the end of this semester Anyways.#so what are ya gonna do Boss Man? if our labor has really been that worthless to you then surely this will be no big deal!#right? right? right? from how youve treated us it's clear! it's clear you take us for granted and dont give a shit about us as people.#so youre gonna get a rude fucking awakening Very soon. have fun cleaning up the wreckage of your mockery of our lives.#anyways hi yeah shit's about to blow up at work and im jumping ship as soon as i can make it work #i also got caught in freezing rain and had to walk home (took an hour of walking when itd usually take 25 mins!) bc i Could Not Bike #may or may not have to go into work tomorrow and if i do i may just take a hammer to those fucking windows [joke][this is a joke]#its gonna ice all night and i voiced these legitimate concerns for my safety and got told #'well we'll follow what the city standards are' or whatever the fuck. and got told to take the bus.#WELL COME ON SHITSTAIN I STILL HAVE TO WALK TO THE BUS STOP NOW DONT I??????#plus i just dont like the idea of going out rn at all. it's so dangerous. im for serious Everything is ice.#even on a salted road my bike still slid out from under me. i Had to walk it home #walking very very carefully with very ginger steps. lord help me on any inclines bc gravity was pushing me Down.#it was awful. one of the worst commutes of my life. and this fucker has the audacity to tell me to just Take The Bus?#hes getting on my last Fucking nerves. oh yeah and him completely dismissing my coworker's concerns about passive aggression #ran out of tags (lmfao) so ill stop ranting here. but just. i am so Fucking done with him.

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freshbaked-bread · 1 year

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crongetober day 18 (a day late) old art redraw

#art #my art #cringetober 2023 #oc #original character #my very first oc (as far as i remember)#her names ealio i think #something like that #i was gonna do todays cringetober prompt as well but suddenly everything i draw looks like shit so #just pretend i drew totally hair barbie #thats what i wouldve drawn

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hyunebear · 2 years

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#so. just a lil ramble #since giffing has been a lil sporadic for me since like the past month #and they're usually bursts of sudden motivation #so if u requested a set from me and haven't gotten it yet i will get to it eventually i promise <3 #and if i haven't been on the dms a lot it's sometimes bc i can't and mostly bc of tumblr's dms being a total ass #if u have discord pls tell me though so we can talk there without the messages getting delayed #also. the maniac tour stop in my country's happening on the weekend and guess what!!!!!! i can't go. fun #i rlly thought i could though but life happened and i had to leave some place #the city is also like far away and. i hate it #i hate it but i will try to get my shit together and i hope this weekend won't be too bad #imagine skz being in your country and you're anywhere else but there. lmao why does that just suck #anyway!!!!!!!!!#i'm just tired but i hope everything gets more manageable 4 me bc i hate being miserable

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storybook-souls · 1 year

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ugh i wish it was easier to logic myself out of feeling bad.

#realistically i know that Probably everything is not hopeless it's just 120 degrees outside.#and Probably my hypothetical writing career is not totally and entirely fucked just bc i'm having a hard time w this one novel.#and it is at least POSSIBLE to have a life that is richer and more vibrant than the one i have #and i'm Allowed to be a little lonely sometimes even if it's all my own fault that i am #and late summer is NEVER good for me mentally so it's frankly amazing i made it this far #and i had a bad weekend and didn't sleep well and that's why i feel like shit today.#but Knowing all that isn't making me feel ANY better.#:(

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milo-is-rambling · 1 year

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Going to eat a brown sugar cinnamon pop tart for the first time since my dad died. I’m craving it. It will make me cry. Going to hot box the bathroom while I take a bath and then cry and eat a pop tart in the bath. I’m bringing pocket joe for companionship

#I took a dab and then went oh shit a bath would be fantastic rn. and then I said. wait. I’m hungry. I want a pop tart. I also want to cry in #the bath. this feels like a win win then when my high wears off and I stop feeling my emotions I can smoke the joint and it will fix me #life hack.#also pop tarts make me sad bc my dad ate pop tarts like every fucking morning with his coffee and it was like his thing and he always joked #about pop tarts being programmer food #ughhhhh I want to cry I miss my dad I’m pmsing I just got fired I feel like a total failure my mom likes my brother more than me my dad #understood being the fuck up kid who’s traumatized and struggling like oh my god now that I’ve experienced losing someone that close I want #to go back in time to when he was alive and talk about losing his sister and how hard that was on him I mean he was my age when his older #sister died and it fucked him up and his death fucked me up around the same age I feel like I’m destined to become my father and I hated him #so much growing up but now that I feel like it’s gonna happen no matter what I can’t help but just wish he was here to talk to #my mom is far too good at being a normal person and so is my brother and my dad was the fuck up and he understood how I felt and now I have #no one who was the fuck uo and grew up anyways like ughhhhhhhh I hate everything I wish my dad was alive

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izzy-b-hands · 1 year

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the big Vent post abt my family today and that post i saw went to my fandom vent blog instead, ur welcome lmao

#text post #best thing i ever did but it sucks bc i feel like my feelings and ideas are valid here re: some of the fandom stuff #i just have been slapped back down enough to know that stepping out of place to bring it up is useless for me #but there's always the vent blog #where everything is privately posted no one gives a fuck and the points don't matter lmaooo #legit tho the vibe is so 'yall dont wanna hear me u just wanna dance' to paraphrase from the song so truly i sit here like #if u create in the fandom ur feelings increasingly matter less and less what matters is if ur making anything and if it Matches #the current Most Perfect Least Problematic trope that's the obsession of the week #whatever im done with it for now i need to clean up and say hi to the roomie and try to feel not like total shit the rest of the day #maybe ill pop some of my tumblr only stuff over on ao3 today finally #folks there have been perfectly polite and just leave a kudos and dip and tbh? that's been some of the kindest interaction ive had lately #and im so grateful for it thank u to those folks for keeping me writing #and to the folks here who give the tumblr only thus far pieces a read and a like u guys have kept me going very much too. thank u

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koishua · 2 years

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this is going to sound funny and i totally don't blame you if you laugh but im tired of feeling like a yn

#tp #'im not like other girls' except this is genuinely my greatest insecurity and source of loneliness lol #someone hit me with a 'why do you have to always be so different?'#and it took everything in me not to just deflate and sob bc wtf that's actually so so hurtful somehow #even though he meant it far from an insult #anyways whatever it's not a big deal it just sucks sometimes #having no one you can ever relate to 🤭🫶#or be comforted by bc no one can ever realistically understand 🤭🫶#sidenote my week was sent into a spiraling shit after someone told me to stop laughing bc what they said to me wasn't funny #no shit it's not funny im just super uncomfortable and would like to ease this anxious atmosphere you've created #never hated my need and reflex to laugh at every single thing this much until that moment #first of all what you're accusing me with is totally unfair and now you're cornering me about that #whatever. truly whatever.#my ability to give a shit has dramatically decreased the last year

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