#i was absolutely ranting with my coworker about this shit

[orcelito]

I always get so angry but then I play video games and I'm no longer so angry

This is a problem when it comes to wanting to leave my shit ass job

[iguessitsjustme]

I have regrets

[vampiresluvr]

okay so i have a coworker that's super intimidating & i kind of dread working with (bc of the intimidation; he seems like he's probably a really cool dude) but today he said "later, [my name]" and stuck his hand up in the air, and waited for me to turn around and see him before he left and my dumb ass genuinely got butterflies

[blond3ang3l]

Eren is a geek lover. He absolutely is enamored with you. Watching your lips with every word you spoke. The way you got excited telling him about every single new detail of the things you got interested in. Eren worked hard as a famous rnb singer, long days in the studio trying to perfect his songs. Then having to perform when he literally had the WORST anxiety known to man. It always felt like someone needed him and was on his ass about something.

But he did it all for you. For moment like this were he could come home and listen to you tell him. About the things you’ve watched in your huge list of video essays that you had in a playlist on YouTube. How you lit up telling him different facts from how the dating game killer had a coworker that also happened to be a serial killer and he didn’t know to the conspiracy theory of the 27 club, no matter what you said it always made you so happy and seeing you all giddy and stimming while you talked to him made him so content with his life.

…and his dick very hard

“I know cotards syndrome, Koro, Diogenes, fregoli, hypochondria, pica, capgras, boanthropy, apotenmophilia, kulver bulcy, ekbom, erotomania, Stendhal. Pics is like one of the more well known. You know that show my strange addiction that we watch together? Yeah so like those people who eat the random shit like the lady who ate rocks- omg that reminds me!”

Erens ass was not listening one bit. He was watching you, watching your body. You guys had been apart for a little over a month so could do a very short tour in another country and he was sick as fuck that he couldn’t bring you. Everyone knew it too. His attitude fucking sucked that trip. He was antsy, his anxiety was through the roof, he snapped at everyone, overall he fucking hated it. But now, sitting here with you he finally felt at peace.

You were sitting on his lap, yapping his ear off. His eyes couldn’t help but wander to your legs which lead him to notice you were wearing his boxers. The way your thick thighs filled them out compared to his own, he couldn’t resist grabbing them. Grabbing them led to groping them, which lead to him sneaking his hands under the boxer. This caught you off guard and stopped your sudden rant with a small gasp. He chuckled and slipped two fingers in his mouth covering them in his saliva before slipping them back under the boxers.

“Cmon baby, keeping telling me about the little videos.”

He had to have been joking. No way was he just gonna pretend he wasn’t teasing you. Like his finger wasn’t circling around your aching hole.

“Go on I’m waiting baby. Keeping telling me bout what you learned.”

As much as you wanted to roll your eyes you knew it would get you no where. This wasn’t a new thing, eren was always so needy. It was always worse after a tour. Even if it had only been a relatively short one.

“Okay well like I was saying, erotomania is something that a lot of celebrity stalkers have. Especially kpop ones. It’s when someone genuinely believes they’re in a relationship with a celebrity. Remember that girl that literally would follow you to the airport? That crazy bitch probably had it.”

Eren couldn’t help but bite his lip as he listened to you go on. God you looked so fucking good. Your hair looked so good. He was so glad he got you your own personal stylist so you never had to worry about needing to go to a shop or someone else’s house. You smelled so good too. That vanilla body oil you used was just fucking irresistible. He didn’t know whether he liked that one or the strawberry poundcake one more. Either way it only made him want you more.

He slowly slid a finger inside you, watching your face contort as you tried to keep your composure. A deep chuckle erupted from his throat. He missed seeing your face. Facetime wasn’t enough. Having to sneak off to the bathroom to jerk off to pictures and homemade pornos wasn’t enough for him. He needed to see you. To feel you. He slid his free hand up your shirt, groping your chest as he thrusted finger in out and of you.

“R-ren, fuck. Cmon baby, how am i supposed to talk while you’re doing this.”

Your whines only made eren smile as he thrusted a second finger inside you. He watched you as you threw your head back while crying out. He was enjoying every second of teasing you. You were so impatient and he knew it. That’s why he catered to every need you had. You hated having to wait and tended to be bratty when you did. So he made everything about you. Whatever you wanted you had. But this time he needed to be selfish. He wanted to watch you come undone first. And that’s exactly what we’re doing.

Your tight grip on his shoulders told him everything. Your nails were digging deep into his skin as you pushed back against his fingers. You didn’t want to admit it but you missed Ren so much. Your fingers and toys didn’t compare to what he could do. How he could prolong your orgasm by teasing you. He could feel you leaking all over his thigh, his boxers now all sticky along with his thigh. He slowly slid his fingers out of you causing you whine.

He didn’t feel bad at all. It was about him this time. He gripped your hips dragging you along his thigh, making it even more of a mess. You hid your face out of embarrassment. It was too much at how he could make you a whiny mess. No other man could do this to you but him.

You couldn’t help the small noises that fell past your lips as you grinded against his thigh. Eren shivered feeling your warm breath against the side of his neck. The way you tugged at his hair he knew you were close. He could read your body like a damn book.

“Cmon baby, almost there. Let me see you.”

“F-fuck ren, I cant.”

Eren wasn’t having that at all. You couldn’t what? You were gonna disobey him? No chance in hell. He gripped your jaw forcing you to look at him

“You telling me no baby? I could have sworn I said I wanted to see your face. I’ve been gone for a long time and you think your whining is gonna stop me?”

You loved moment like this when Eren suddenly got serious. He was…well he was very off Standish which came off to mean as others. But he babied you. The moment you told him no thought after he told you to do something? It was like a switch flipped in him. His tight grip on your face was only turning you on more which made you rut against his leg faster.

“You’re gonna be good aren��t you baby? Gonna cum for me like a good little whore?”

You eagerly nodded as you bit your lip. You could only cry out his name as you came all over his thigh, making a mess in his boxers. Eren kept his grip on your face to make sure you maintained eye contact the entire time. A smirk creeping on his face as you came.

“There you go baby, let’s go get you cleaned up..”

———————————————————————

@merakidoll Eren fic just like I promised🫶🏽

———————————————————————

Based of a conversation with my boyfriend where I literally was going on about mental illness during my rant about the many video essays I watch

[writeaboutit]

I Lied

You and Ellie met on a dating app, you lied about something minor, and she finds out (but is cute and fluffy, and a laugh is had).

Hi haven't written anything in a long while so forgive if this is absolute shite🙏🏻🙏🏻. This just popped into my head totally not based on anything real, no definitely not.

"Hey baby," Ellie greets as she walks through your shared bedroom door. She's slightly hunched over and shuffling her feet showing that she had a long, exhausting day.

You pop off the bed and wrap her in a hug. She melts into your embrace.

"You tired baby?" you question. You can feel the movement of her nodding her head against the crook of your neck. She must be really spent if she can't even say yes.

Usually, the moment she gets home from work she's either ranting about her incompetent coworkers or she's excitedly sharing a new fact she learned about that week's hyperfixation.

Her silence is a bit off-putting. You feel the need to hear her voice so you prompt her, "What can I do for you?"

The silence rings out for a moment, the only sound to be heard is your breath and hers intermingling. Then she's responding, "You know that time you told me you cooked pad thai before we started dating?"

You furrow your brows in confusion. You can recall when you told her that over text, in the dating app you met on, but you're a bit confused as to why she's bringing it up now, or why she even remembers that at all.

"Yes," you say hesitantly, wondering where this conversation is going.

"Can you make that? It sounds so good right now." She asks with puppy dog eyes.

For a moment you're caught off guard. You never thought she would ask you to make her pad thai after that conversation and you worry for all of two seconds before bursting into laughter.

Ellie pulls away from the hug and looks at you with confusion. She props her hand on her hip and watched as you double over with laughter before righting yourself and calming down.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry but I lied," You giggle again, "I tried to make pad thai but it turned out so bad. I only told you I made a good pad thai because I wanted you to think I was this sexy girl who could cook well," you let out one last chuckle when you finish your explanation.

Ellie's jaw is hanging open, "What if I was only dating you for your pad thai-making abilities?"

You chuckle at that as well. There is no way this woman is only dating you for your cooking skills, that's for sure.

"I'd say you're full of shit. We've been dating for two years and you have not once brought up my homemade pad thai." You prop a had on you hip and raise an eyebrow waiting for her retort.

She throws her head back with a laugh before enveloping you in her arms, "You're such an idiot, I love you."

You smack her arm playfully, "Hey I'm not an idiot, and I love you too."

"You're right, you're not an idiot my love." She says the last bit against your lips before connecting them.

When you break apart she looks down at you before asking, "Well now what are we going to eat?"

You shrug, "We can order Thai food for delivery."

"See this is why I love you, you're a problem solver." She places quick kisses across your cheeks and the bridge of your nose causing you to giggle.

"Okay okay get off me so I can make the order," you laugh as you push her away.

"I love you," she throws out as you walk out of the bedroom towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah." you laugh, giddy over your girlfriend.

so yeah there ya go. idk what this was i just really need to get back into the habit of writing. this wasn’t proof read so sorry about any mistakes. i’m gonna keep writing so trust better stuff will be posted🙏🏻

[thebubblesareevil]

Strap in Folks it’s time to learn some shit!

As HR manager at my job I have to look at A LOT of applications because we are primarily a seasonal job. We have busy seasons and slow seasons.

IM SO DONE WITH PEOPLE NOT KNOWING HOW TO ADVERTISE THEIRSELF!!!

Allow me to clarify.

If you take a break between jobs or couldn’t find a job

-did you do baby sitting?

-yard work for family members?

You didn’t have a gap!

Make a note of work history as landscaping or childcare!

Gaps in your employment never look good unless you also state you were in school!

If your previous job sucked and you only stayed there for about a week

- you never worked there

Don’t put on there that you only worked a week or lie about how long you worked there!

-I am absolutely allowed to call previous jobs and not only confirm you worked there and ask how long

-first assumption will always be that you were fired (sucks but it’s true). I don’t have any backstory so I won’t assume the job was at fault.

Resumes!

-Your resume should NEVER be tailored to the job you are applying for.

-this is supposed to be a basic outline of what you have done and what you can do

- I hate the autogenerated resumes from indeed because I have to go down a giant list that tells me you know how to use Microsoft 20 times in a different font.

- if you use indeed please submit an actual resume.

ASK SOMEONE TO READ OVER YOUR RESUME BEFORE SUBMITTING IT!!!!!

It never looks good if you misspell cashier or drink…repeatedly.

-keep it short! Unless you are going into a technical field that needs to know a full list of you certifications and the programs you can use, you want to keep it to 1 page. I need a summary, not a life story

SCHOOL IS NOT WORK EXPERIENCE! Do not put on there that you have 4yrs xp as a student!!!

Speaking of life stories

-do not leverage your kids for a job. If you tell me you have kids and it affects your availability that’s one thing. If you tell me you really need this job because you have kids, now you are using your kids to get a job and that’s not kosher.

Availability!

Do not lie about your availability!!!!

We ask for that for a reason! If you tell me you have open availability and you get hired, I will schedule you based on that availability. If you then tell me you are only available between the hours of 4pm-9pm….you aren’t getting scheduled and will be terminated.

-cannot and will not cater to your availability and schedule everyone else to accommodate your availability. That’s not fair to me or for coworkers.

Interviews!!!

-talk for the love of god, talk! If it’s a group interview, we want to see how involved you are. If it’s one on one, I want to learn about you!

-dress for success! even the most casual of jobs do not want you to show up in a tank top and shorts. You are here for a job not for a party 😭

Okay I think that’s all I need to rant about. There may be more when we hire again and the torture begins again.

[thebowieconstricker]

Stagedoor Sparks! (Matthew Patel x Reader) ✨🔥🔱

masterlist link

AN: OH MY GOODNESS YOU GUYS WERE FEELING THIS ONE OKAY-

I’m so glad to see people hyped up for my pathetic pirate boy. Please enjoy and if this goes well I may turn it into a series lol

We’ve got a gender neutral reader, idiots in love, I saw someone say pathetic x pathetic and YES, theater kid lingo, mild swearing, and your favorite cutie pie. ⚠️Also, this is heavily based on Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, so spoiler warnings for that if you haven’t seen it! ⚠️ Enjoy!

“Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Musical”, was what the bright lights of the massive sign on your local theater boasted. Recently, your coworker Julie had been telling you about the ridiculous life of this ‘Scott Pilgrim’, ranting about the conga line of characters that filled his (frankly, pathetic sounding) existence. She had also alerted you to this… musical. A musical that had been written about his life.

You sighed to yourself and adjusted your bag. Making your way to the golden, elaborately designed doors, just barely dodging all the paparazzi (why was there so much paparazzi?), you somehow successfully made your way into the main lobby of the theatre. Ivory and gold filled your vision as you observed the plush red carpet that lined each of the three floors. You had visited this theater before, and it’s gorgeous grandeur never failed to amaze you.

Now, you did not at all care about this guy. Yes, you had been silently internalizing every minuscule part of this random guy’s daily shenanigans, but that was because you were being a good friend to Julie! This Scott guy seemed like a tool, and you weren't particularly interested in listening to a…?

You checked the playbill the usher had just handed you.

…THREE HOUR MUSICAL?!? You almost started laughing right there.

But anyways, you weren’t here for this Scott guy.

You were here for musical theater. You had always been drawn to the fantastical world of lights and costumes and music. Plus, this was a community production with actors from Toronto, and you were always happy to support your local theater kids.

As you finally made your way to your seat, you sat down in the plush red chairs and opened your playbill to the cast section. You didn’t see any names you recognized, but one stood out to you.

Matthew Patel - Scott Pilgrim

Obviously, Scott Pilgrim was the lead role, but what really caught your attention was the picture attached to the name. Matthew Patel, you respectfully observed, was mad cute.

The lights suddenly began to dim and you settled in for whatever was in store, keeping a keen eye out for this ‘Matthew Patel’.

~~~ Holy shit, this is the best thing you’ve ever seen.

From the moment Matthew Patel walked onstage, you were absolutely smitten. He wore a bright orange wig that clashed horrendously with his dark skin, and an oversized jacket, but he was the hottest thing you had ever seen. Also, holy shit, Matthew Patel could sing. From the first line, you were completely enraptured by his high tenor belting. As you watched him onstage, you saw literal sparks in his eyes, his excitement and passion for the stage radiating off of him.

At the curtain call, you stood and enthusiastically clapped for each of the cast members, but hooped and hollered for Matthew especially. Even though you knew he couldn’t see you from the stage, you found yourself blushing at the thought of him looking at you.

That’s when it hit you: You’ve gotta book it to stage door to meet this guy.

~~~ Matthew Patel was completely exhausted. As the curtains flew closed, he sighed and turned around to smile at his cast mates. Although he was drained by his performance, he always took this opportunity at the end of a show to look to his fellow caste mates.

And hopefully someone would invite him with their group to an after show dinner.

He walked through the crowd, giving pats on the back and thumbs ups as he made his way to his dressing room. Lots of smiles, lots of “great job!”’s but… no invitations.

Slamming the door to his room he quickly took of his wig and put on his regular clothes, deciding that he would take off his stage makeup at home (aka the makeup he regularly wore but no one cared enough to know that). His room had a window where he could look down at the stagedoor line, the line that had been non-existent since opening night. He didn’t take it personally, since this musical was for a very specific audience of people and he understood that outside of them, no one knew or cared who Scott Pilgrim was. But still, he was onstage. He was singing and dancing and his art was being celebrated. Yes, he was lonely, still, but life wasn’t too bad right now.

As he did every day, he quickly glanced out his window to check for audience members at stage door and, sure enough, no one-

Wait-

Someone was there?

He did a double take and physically walked to the window, his hands placed against the glass and his now quickening breath creating a fog.

SOMEONE WAS THERE??!?!?

From high up in his dressing room, he saw a small figure holding the bright red playbill of his show. They seemed to be moving back and forth on their feet, bouncing excitedly. From so high up he couldn’t see their expression, but could make out what he thought was a smile.

He broke out into a wide smile. Running around his room, gathering his things and throwing them into his backpack, only one thought raced through his mind: He had to get down there.

~~~ As you waited, the cold Toronto air stung against your flushed cheeks. You were still high on endorphins from the show, the songs already worming their way into your head as you tapped your feet in anticipation.

Suddenly, and without warning, a man burst out of the dark black door you were waiting out, out of breath and panting. He was so hellbent on running out the door that he ran right into you, knocking you over!

“AH-“, you both made the same sound as you fell, the man directly on top of you.

“Oh- apologies, ma’am, I uh-“

You would have said a number of rude things to this man but, seeing his face, you were starstruck.

“Matthew Patel?”

His eyes widened in shock. Carefully, he got off of you and onto his knee in front of you. Gently, he took your hand and pulled you up, the both of you now back on your feet.

“You know me?”

You couldn’t help but notice the faint blush on his cheeks.

“Of course! Well- I mean, you know, you’re Scott Pilgrim! You were absolutely incredible up there, just amazing! My jaw was the floor the whole time! I mean, your voice and your dancing and the fight scenes-“

As you rambled on and on, Matthew was unable to snap himself out of the trance you had put him in. Visually, you were breathtaking, so much so he didn’t know how he had ever found anyone else attractive. But more so, you were genuinely complimenting him. He was never complimented on his theater work. He’d get the rare one from his cast mates, but never an outside fan.

Noticing his silence, you suddenly stopped talking.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to rant, it’s just- one theater kid to another, you were so amazing.”

He shook his head at your apology. “No, don’t be sorry. You’re- you’re very kind. Thank you. And I’m sorry again for… running you over.”

You laughed- a leitmotif to rival Sondheims to Matthew’s ears- and looked at him with a goofy grin.

“Would you sign my playbill?”

“Would you like to have dinner tonight?”

The two of you spoke at the same time, and one’s question made the other blush furiously. Matthew’s entire body tensed in embarrassment that he had been bold enough to ask you out like this, not even knowing your name.

You were absolutely over the moon.

“I- uh- yes. Yes, I would love to.”

Your smile got impossibly wider, and the sparks in Matthew’s eyes that you had noted during his performance returned. With a huge grin, he reached out his hand to take your playbill. You handed it to him and a marker appeared in his other hand as he quickly scribbled his signature.

“What’s your name?”

You told him and his blush deepened. He turned back to the playbill and scribbled a bit more, then handed it to you. You squeaked in excitement and looked at what he had written.

To my biggest fan,

(Y/N)

Looking back up at him, you were certain this was the start of something new.

“So… do you like Italian?”

~~~ HEY MATTHEW FANS TAKE THIS FIC! GO, FETCH! This’ll make a lot more sense if you like musicals, so have fun! Like I said at the start, if y’all want more and I’m feeling up to it, I’ll write more! Happy holidays, folks!

[milkman-zahhak]

Cal and Leo ~ Christmas special + animated gif

+ A little masterpost here for the stories I've written for them so far if you want to read more about these two and their lore:

- Part 1 - Part 2 (prequel to part 1) (think of it like a flashback scene, seen as Leo and Cal drift asleep in part 1) - Part 3 (sequel to part 1) . . . - Halloween Special PART 1 - Halloween Special PART 2 - Christmas Special <-(you are here)

Sorry for the wait, I know it's way past christmas at this point, but it's done nonetheless. I've been browsing the blogs of some of my mutuals and tried to add in some stuff I saw you guys were into as well,, a little bit here and there... It's quick, but here's the drawing GIF to go along with it, as promised. I hope tumblr doesnt mess up the quality- not that there's much there in the first place:

^^^ It's a belly capacity comparison.

Leo you've been stuffing for hours, show me the product! OUH, ope, no,, it's nice... 😬 oooh you've never looked fuller... oooh.. where were you, where were you when it was time for belly stuffing...ouu... was that like 2 plates? hey- Cal is just a sweat and a tryhard anyway, smh. 🙄 he doesn't know what he's talking about!! /ref

~

WARNING: CONTAINS BELLY FETISH STUFF, READ TAGS FOR THE WHOLE RUNDOWN! (+SAY GEXUAL PHYSICAL INTIMACY)

Anyways, here's the story, sorry its super late:

------------------------------

It was a cold northern December evening. The door opened, and Leo kicked his boots together in the doorway before taking them off and shedding multiple layers of winter-wear.

Cal watched from the couch, giving his boyfriend a moment to settle back in, knowing how much Leo hated working and needed to defrost after being out in the cold. He looked comically lanky when he took off the thick coat and snowpants, as if he were a cartoon skeleton slipping out of its skin. You’d think someone who hates being active would be a bit bigger, but no.

Cal is sure Leo's diet of absolute fuckall was the only reason he was still built like a stickbug. Not the time to share those thoughts aloud, though, so he kept his lips zipped, waiting for Leo to start the conversation instead.

Leo slumped onto the couch, "Ugh, man... today was rough." Cal shuffled closer to the blonde man, "aww, whaaat? You got that mall santa job, that sounds pretty easy. better than your usual retail stuff, right?"

Leo let out a heavy sigh. "I know, I know. But this year...it's just different. Being Santa at the mall...it's draining doing that all day." he rants, "kids piss me off, and even when the kids are polite and well-behaved, there's always some terrible parents that manage to make up for it."

Cal felt bad for Leo, but he also felt nosey. "Oooh, gotcha.. That always sucks... ... so... Anything in particular happen today?" He was bored, and ready to back his boyfriend up morally on any situation he was in, and shit-talk whatever coworker or customer Leo wanted to rant about today.

Leo paused to think, "Uhm. A few- not really. Just... I dunno, I just hate this time of year!" Cal's eyebrows raised. "Wait, what do you mean? How does one hate such a festive time of the year?"

Leo hesitated, then started to explain. "I mean...I used to not hate it, I think. But like, growing up Catholic, it was always so much pressure..." Leo hesitated, he hated talking about himself, he didn't want to bum Cal out with some pity-party about his past. "It was always such a big deal but not in a fun way, like everyone in my life would make extra sure to mention christ and his birthday and I was supposed to have fun- but not too much fun- lest I forget about it being Jesus's birthday."

Leo began to ramble, "It's like, nobody can open gifts or eat food or do anything without dickriding the lord. "oh, Leonard, sweetie, we just spent all Sunday morning talking about eternal damnation, why do you look so lethargic, God loves you and we love you- conditionally of course. Come help me make cookies for the guests and smile dammit..."" He trailed off, picking at the hem of his shirt. "That's... a stupid example, sorry, it was just what came to mind..." Leo cursed himself internally. If he was going to accidentally spill about some random-ass childhood Christmas memory, it could have at least been something worth complaining about.

There was so much more to it than being inconvenienced when he was like 8. It was a lifetime of little things building up year after year, day by day, and he didn't know how to paint an accurate picture without telling his entire life story.

It wasn't something he knew how to explain to someone, which is why he prefers not to bring it up at all.

Unfortunately, Cal is a very open person when it comes to thoughts and feelings, and sometimes ropes Leo into conversations where he ends up doing the same.

Cal was getting better at keeping some thoughts to himself though!

Mostly just the ones he thought were funny. See, Cal has a blunt sense of humor that Leo doesn't always pick up on, especially when his witty comments are directed towards Leo. It was a work in progress, baby steps, etc.

Cal nodded slowly, self-assumed understanding dawning on his face. He leaned over to place a gentle smooch on Leo's cheek. "Well, maybe we can change things up this year. Make it more about us and less about...you know. The religious stuff."

Leo's eyes widened slightly at Cal's suggestion, the thought of Christmas without the constant reminder of religion was almost foreign to him. "I don't know if that's possible," he murmured, "It's just... ingrained, it’s part of everything." Cal nodded sympathetically, "Yeah, I get it. My family wasn't super religious, but I remember the pressure to be perfect during Christmas. Like, if I messed up even a little, I thought Santa wouldn't bring me presents."

Leo chuckled. "Haha, same... but for me presents were more of an afterthought, because I was kinda busy thinking about going to hell and failing as a person whenever I messed up.."

Cal scoffed "Man, I don't think about that stuff. I mean, I knew about it, but I figured if I went to hell, I would suck up to Satan or whoever's in charge and try to get a cushy role as one of his higher-up subordinates or something. Y'know? So I'd be, like, the one who escorts the damned, or does the devil's chores or something instead of being tortured for eternity!"

Leo couldn't help but laugh at Cal's optimism, "That's... That sounds like something you would think, yes." he said with a small smile. Cal continued, "Yup, and if you ended up there too, I'd use my position and social power to make you exempt from whatever I could. Nothing is ever gonna hurt you, cutie."

"Thanks, but I'm not actually worried about Heaven or Hell or anything anymore, I don't really believe in that stuff like I used to. It's more about the memories, or maybe the traditions- but not literally traditions, more like... habits? Whatever, I still don't know how to explain it so let's just move on..." Leo sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

Cal listened intently, trying to grasp the complex web of emotions that Leo was trying to unravel. He could see the exhaustion etched on Leo's face and even though he's pretty sure he gets it, Leo always insists that there's so much more, but he can't say it right.

Cal wrapped an arm around Leo's shoulders, giving him a gentle squeeze. "It's okay, Leo. We can make our own traditions this year. Ones that don't involve religion, or anything that makes you feel all guilty. Just us, doing stuff we enjoy together."

Leo leaned into Cal's embrace, feeling a sense of relief wash over him, mostly because the conversation seemed to be finally changing topics. "That sounds nice," he admitted softly, "Really nice." Cal smiled and planted another kiss on Leo's cheek. "Good."

Cal's mind started racing with ideas, trying to fill the silence. "So, speaking of doing stuff we enjoy..." he began, "I was thinking, maybe we could decorate our place for tomorrow? Get a tree, hang lights, the works?"

Leo looked up at Cal with a raised eyebrow, "You wanna decorate?" Cal nodded eagerly, "Yeah! It'll be fun, right? We can make some hot chocolate, put on some Christmas music, and just...enjoy ourselves." Leo couldn't help but smile at Cal's childlike excitement. "Yeah, okay. Sounds good."

The next evening, Cal came home with several large bags filled with Christmas decorations. Leo sat at the table, sipping on the hot cocoa Cal had made and watching as Cal unpacked everything.

There were twinkling lights, garlands, ornaments of every color and shape, and even a beautiful star for the top of the tree. Leo couldn't help but feel a little excited himself as he looked at it all.

Cal turned to Leo, "Okay, so first things first- the tree!" He pulled out a small, artificial tree and started setting it up in the living room. Leo stood up to join him, helping Cal unravel the branches and straighten them out. Once they finished setting up the tree, Cal handed Leo a box full of ornaments. "Here, you put your nerd ones where you want and I'll do the other ones." he said with a smile.

Leo opened the box and looked inside. There were normal ornaments, but there were also ornaments of dragons, superheroes, and even some of his favorite fictional characters. He picked one up and smiled at Cal. "Dude, these are great! I didn’t know they made ornaments like this!" Cal's grin grew wider, "Yeah? I figured you'd like 'em."

They worked together in companionable silence, hanging ornaments and wrapping garland around the tree. Leo couldn't remember the last time he felt this...normal. Cal's Christmas plans were simple, but they were exactly what Leo needed to start letting go of some of the religious trauma that haunted him every holiday season. And for that, he was grateful.

As they finished decorating the tree, Cal stepped back to admire their work. "Alright, Leonard, whaddya think?"

~~~

Two days before Christmas, Cal and Leo returned home from their shopping trip, arms laden with bags of groceries. Leo struggled to balance a large turkey in one arm while juggling two bags in the other, filled with potatoes and some canned goods.

Cal followed closely behind, carrying bags filled with vegetables, cranberries, and various spices. They were determined to cook a traditional Christmas Eve feast together.

As soon as they entered the kitchen, Leo took charge. He set the turkey down on the counter with a loud thump, and started taking out the ingredients they would need. Cal watched in awe as Leo moved around the kitchen with such ease and grace.

Leo enjoyed cooking and preparing food. He always has. When he was younger, it would give him alone time away from his family while they did other Christmas preparations, and the focus and attention that's needed to properly prepare food takes his mind off of his own spiraling thoughts and existential worries for a while.

Cal was more into what happens after the food is made, especially fancy food. Cal grew up in poverty, having to fight for scraps among his siblings. It sounds dramatic, but that's just life for the lower class. He rarely ate anything of quality nor quantity. Luckily, Cal has been able to make up for those lost meals as an adult, and then some. That being said, most of what he would eat was what he was used to- quick processed pitiful excuses for meals- if he somehow had the money. He was never one to spend time cooking or baking.

Cal could tell that Leo was trying to hide his frustration at having to explain every step to him while he helped with his parts of cooking and baking the food, but he appreciated Leo's patient instruction.

They spent hours chopping, mixing, and baking ingredients, laughing at each other's clumsiness (mostly Cal’s) and making small talk about their days. Cal couldn't remember the last time he enjoyed cooking so much. It was kinda fun when it was with Leo!

After some trial and error, they finally managed to put together a delicious spread of roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, homemade rolls and a pumpkin pie for dessert. Store-bought cider was even available as a refreshment if water got too boring.

Leo's baking skills truly shone through with the pumpkin pie, Cal thinks. The sweet aroma filled the apartment, making it feel warm and welcoming despite the chilly winter air outside.

Cal couldn't resist stealing a taste of the leftover filling when Leo wasn't looking, earning him a playful swat on the hand and a stern "You'll spoil your dinner!" from Leo. Cal giggled, "You'd like that, though, wouldn't you."

Leo shook his head playfully.

Yeah, he probably would like that.

~

There was a festive atmosphere in the small apartment as they set the dining table. Leo had insisted on using their best plates and silverware, despite Cal's protests that it wasn't necessary.

Leo promised he would do the dishes though if they did, so Cal caved.

The warm light from the Christmas tree in the living room twinkled off the cutlery, the table was filled with the delicious food they had prepared together, and the air was thick with anticipation to enjoy all of it.

As they sat down to eat, Cal took a deep breath, savoring the delicious smells surrounding them. "Leo, this looks amazing," he said sincerely, "Thank you for doing this with me." Leo smiled softly, "Thank you for wanting to. I forgot how nice some traditions can actually be, I think." They clinked glasses of sparkling cider and dug in, enjoying the fruits of their labor.

Cal ate his fill, making sure to sample everything at least once before pigging out on his favorites.

Throughout the meal, Cal also made sure to compliment Leo on his cooking skills, trying to boost his confidence. He watched Leo's cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and pleasure, and it made him happy to see Leo happy. Cal couldn't remember the last time he felt this content. The food was delicious, and the company was even better. They talked about everything and anything, laughing and joking as usual, but it felt extra special and festive tonight.

When they finished eating, Cal couldn't help but notice that Leo had hardly touched his food. Concerned, he asked, "Is everything okay?"

Leo nodded, "Yeah, I guess I'm just not that hungry." Cal's heart ached for him, he couldn't help but notice Leo's lack of appetite.

Leo normally didn’t eat much, but this was odd, even for him.

He figured Leo's past was still haunting him, even during such a joyous occasion. Maybe he’s not used to having so much food all to himself?

Cal used to feel that way, and then one thing led to another once he started living alone, and it was like a dam had burst. Not being hungry felt so fucking amazing, and feeling full was so new and foreign to him, and boy did he really enjoy it.

He had an online channel where he would post videos of him eating as much as physically possible for a while, and down the line that ended up opening the door for him and Leo to become more than just friends in a financially-necessary living agreement… Thinking back to the movie night incident where they had revealed their kinks to each other, Leo said he didn’t think he was into stuffing himself, but he also said he’d never really tried. And hey, Cal didn’t know he was into it before he tried….

With a gentle smile, Cal leaned back, sighing. He'd eaten enough to be... not hungry, that's for sure. Definitely nowhere near full, especially not by his standards, but he was taking it easy for tonight. Besides, he has to save some food, that way he has leftovers to eat tomorrow on christmas eve.

Cal burps, as politely as he can, and leans forward, "*urp*.. You know, Leo, I've always wondered 'bout something." Leo looked up at him curiously, "Yeah?"

Cal smirked, "How much can you actually fit in that cute little belly of yours?"

It was a topic they had touched upon before in a joking manner, but this time, there was a hint of seriousness in Cal's tone. Leo's eyes widened in surprise before he let out a soft chuckle. "Not much, not as much as you, that's for sure, haha." he admitted, "I guess.. I dunno, unlike you I've never really tried to test my limits."

Cal nodded thoughtfully. "Well.. maybe it's time you did?" he suggested softly, sweetly.

Leo froze for a moment, the suggestion catching him by surprise. "What uh.. what do you mean?" he asked hesitantly.

Cal replied, his voice dropping to a more serious, but still caring tone, "You seem kinda like... I can tell you're stressing in your head about stuff, and you pretty much did all the cooking yourself too!.. And you haven’t really eaten that much, even though you did all that, and.. I was thinking.. maybe we could like, switch things up? Let me take care of you tonight, Leo. Let me help you forget about everything else and just...enjoy, y'know..?"

Leo blushed slightly at Cal's words, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. He knew that Cal was right, that he needed to let go and relax, but like this?

Cal had done so much kinky stuff for Leo, it’s about time he did something for Cal in return anyway.

…After a moment of contemplation, Leo nodded slowly. "Alright, Cal.. I'll give it a try." Leo took a deep breath and started loading his plate with more food than he usually would.

Cal watched Leo's determined expression with a soft smile, proud of him for taking the first step. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he also knew how much Leo needed a change of pace. They continued to talk about some current events and laugh, trying to keep things interesting.

Leo began to eat. It was difficult to just keep eating, because he felt full somewhat quickly after the first plate, but he pushed through, wanting to prove to Cal - and maybe himself - that he could do it.

Cal offered him encouragement and teased him gently, making him giggle between bites.

Leo could get used to this. He prefers being on the other end of things, but this was hot too so far. Who doesn’t like feeling nice and warm and full?

As the meal went on, Leo found himself struggling to keep up. He was used to watching Cal’s stuffings, but actually doing it himself was a different experience entirely.

Cal noticed Leo's discomfort, but also saw the determination in his eyes. He decided to take it slow and make sure Leo was okay every step of the way. "Hey, Leo.. take your time, don't push yourself too hard"

Leo nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Yeah, hah… I’ve been wolfing this down pretty fast huh.”

Cal snickered, “Remember, it's not a race, bud!”

As Leo continued eating, his stomach started to protest. Intermittent bubbly sounds came from within his increasingly overfull tummy.

ggrrllp.. glp… grrluuRRp…. rrrlghh.. “Hnng…”

He wasn't used to consuming so much food at once, and it was beginning to show.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his face wrinkling as cramps started to form in his stomach. Despite the discomfort, Leo pushed forward, wanting to prove to Cal - and definitely himself - that he could do this.

He hunched over before quickly straightening back up, as if hunching over only made the feeling worse, and he let out a soft whimper, which caught Cal's attention immediately.

Cal's expression turned concerned when his boyfriend’s face seemed to indicate that it wasn’t a good whimper, "Leo, are you okay?" he asked. Leo nodded, trying to downplay the pain. "I'm fine, I just.. It hurts, up here," he admitted sheepishly, motioning towards the area above his belly button.

Leo was thin, and his belly wasn't used to being so stretched. His shirt was still fitting almost just as it was before, but his stomach was hard and tight to the touch, and a small but noticeable lump was visible beneath his shirt.

Leo's voice was filled with a mixture of pain and desperation as he described his feelings to Cal. His stomach felt heavy and clogged, like a rock weighing him down. Leo had now resorted to nibbling slowly at a single forkful of the pie.

He couldn't help but let out small moans of discomfort as he tried to adjust his position. No matter how he sat, he still felt a tight, stinging, bloated feeling in his overstuffed belly.

The cramps were becoming more frequent and intense, but strangely enough, Leo still found himself getting… somewhat turned on by the situation, he guesses...

The sensation of fullness was foreign and uncomfortable, but the idea of Cal being so proud of him was making him feel things he couldn't quite put into words- figuratively and literally.

Finally unable to bear it any longer, Leo pushed his plate away and both hands flew to his middle, grasping and clutching right below his chest, feeling the strange new difference in the area where his stomach began to protrude outwards. "Cal.. ugh.. u-unf...." he groaned, his eyes pleading for relief. "It hurts.. my belly, I can't- I dunno how you do it..."

Cal felt a surge of desire for a moment, but he could see the genuine pain in Leo's eyes, and knowing that ruined any enjoyment he would have had otherwise listening to Leo’s whines.

He got up from his own seat and carefully placed his hand on Leo's hard, distended belly, rubbing circles gently. Leo's breath caught in his throat at the sensation. He leaned back into Cal's touch, letting out a soft whine. "I've never eaten so much at once.. oh my god.. hic..." he mumbled, his eyes closing halfway.

Cal chuckled softly at Leo's futile attempt at a stuffing, unable to help himself.

He knew how much of a challenge this was for him, though. Seeing Leo so squirmy and his belly so swollen was arousing, but seeing him in pain wasn't something Cal wanted.

He moved closer, taking Leo's hand in his other and interlacing their fingers together. He leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to Leo's forehead. "It's okay, babe. You don't have to force yourself. We can try again some other day if you want to." he said reassuringly. He knew how hard this was for Leo, and he didn't want to push him too far. “Do you feel like you’re gonna be sick?”

Leo tried to answer between breathless groans “unngh… no.. n-nhmm.. Maybe? I feel more like my stomach- ngh! I know it's not but.. urgh, feels like.. t-the skin’s gonna rip open.. ‘n pop…” Since Cal was already rubbing Leo’s belly, Leo’s hands were desperately gripping and palming his own chest as he spoke, as if trying to contribute whatever he could on just the off-chance that it might help him feel better.

As Leo squirmed in his seat, Cal's eyes widened slightly when he thought of something that might help.

He could guess from the description as well as the look on Leo's face, the subtle movements and ways he kept shifting in his seat, that maybe he was struggling with gas pain.

He leaned in, kissing Leo's cheek, then moving over a bit and momentarily taking his hands off of Leo’s aching belly. His lips brushing against Leo's ear, "D’you want me to help you out, Leo? I think I have an idea.." he whispered seductively.

Leo's eyes snapped open at that, and he nodded frantically. He trusted Cal, and he knew he wouldn't judge him, hell, he's the one he's doing all this for.

Besides, he needed help. Badly.

Cal smiled and moved behind Leo, reaching around the back of the chair again and placing both of his hands on either side of Leo's belly. He began to massage him gently, deliberately pushing into certain places, trying to coax out any trapped air bubbles.

Leo's tummy wasn't as big as Cal's usually got, since Leo wasn't used to stretching out his stomach. Not to mention it took significantly less food to fill him up to the gills.

But for someone of Leo's capacity and (in)experience, it was clear that he'd genuinely pushed himself, this was no act.

“I’m so.. eugh… it hurts, it h- the cramps..” Leo whined miserably

“Fuck, it’s like.. it’s all stuck.. mmhmmfuck!…. My guts.. I can't move my body or bend anywhere, it hurts, oh my god, ugh.. B-Breathing in hurts..” Leo tried to breathe steadily, struggling to fully inhale, which made him even more panicked.

Cal could feel Leo's stomach expanding and contracting beneath his hands as the meal tried to digest, the trapped air tried to escape. It was moving a little bit, but obviously to Leo’s discomfort.

"Just breathe, Leo.. Let it out slowly, just focus on breathing in and out slowly, small breaths, okay?" Cal coaxed, his voice low and soothing. Leo nodded, taking small, but focused breaths as Cal continued to massage him, each exhale coming out as more of a strained moan.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Leo let out a short silent puff of a burp, one that seemed to surprise him coming up, as he flinched during its release.

*uuhh-hhhr* …

Cal wanted to make fun of Leo for his body's weird way of burping, it was hilarious to him, but.. He figured he could save it for later, instead, just being happy that Leo is burping at all for now.

"There ya go, feel any better?" he cooed affectionately as stood behind Leo's chair and continued rubbing his belly for him. Leo grunted halfheartedly. “Maybe?...”

Leo's face scrunched up in concentration as he attempted to expel more gas, his stomach still rumbling and gurgling uncomfortably. This went on for a good 8 to 10 minutes with no significant resolution.

But eventually his stomach bubbled so loudly that both of them could hear it, and both of them froze up. Leo sighed with relief as he felt everything suddenly shift downwards.

He could literally hear the gas bubbles and mush of what he'd eaten traveling deeper into his guts- It was kind of gross, but his stomach felt less tight. “Ohhh, oh my god, did you hear that? it-” he exclaimed, but before he could finish, Leo felt an intense pressure at his body’s backdoor.

He didn’t even realize it was happening at first, but a long, hot, silent fart hissed as it escaped through his cheeks. It was like someone opened the lip of a full balloon and let all the air pour out.

*phhfrrrrrrrshrhhpt…. fshhhh~hhhhhssssss…*

It smelled like actual shit, and even Leo himself quickly covered his nose with his sleeve.

Cal began to laugh, but quickly covered his mouth and nose with both his hands and coughed, “o- *cough* oh my god, dude..”

Leo was frozen in his seat for a minute, worryingly checking below himself making sure he didn’t let anything else go- he didn’t think he did, but he also didn't think he was going to fart like that either. Thankfully, it actually was just really rank air.

Leo was the first to speak up a few moments after the air cleared, “I feel like, 10 pounds lighter, that was insane..” He slumped back in the chair, now able to do so without searing cramps.

His stomach feels ever so slightly less tight from the outside too, as if it had deflated a little.

"Cal... I don't know how.. you do this so easily," he groaned deliriously, his cheeks flushing further at the thought of what he'd just done.

The fart was a huge relief as most of the air in his intestines seemed to be released, but he was still full of food and whatever was in his upper stomach. "I ate like... almost hic two plates of turkey.. So much mashed potatoes.. oooohhh, the sides too... were all so good, but I can't.." Leo let out another small, soundless burp. "*uhp*.. I feel so full... so stuffed." He squirmed in his seat.

Cal couldn't help but grin at Leo's words, knowing just how little food that really was compared to what he could consume.

But seeing Leo like this, so vulnerable and needy, while it was incredibly hot, now is not the time to be showing off your capacity, he can save that for another time when Leo is the one feeding him.

"It takes practice, babe. You'll get there eventually- if you want to of course." he said encouragingly. Leo responded very quickly, "I don't think I do."

Cal snickered. His fingers continued to massage Leo's tight belly, feeling each individual rumble beneath the surface, and how bloated his lower tummy was getting again as the next round of food patiently waited its turn to move to his intestines.

Leo's discomfort seemed to grow, but Cal knew that with some time, patience, and encouragement, he'd be able to work through it. He hoped Leo knew that too.

"Let's try something else," Cal suggested, after a moment. He leaned down and pressed another kiss to the top of Leo's head. "You did so well, now you just gotta rest. Why don't we take this to the couch? It'll be more comfortable for you to relax there."

Leo hesitated for a second, knowing that standing up would mean jostling his overfull stomach. He looked at Cal, his eyes wide and pleading, unsure if he could manage it. But the thought of relief was too enticing to completely ignore. "Cal... I can barely sit here without feeling like I'm gonna explode, I don't know if I'll make it to the couch in one piece- heh.. One Piece.."

While Leo complained, Cal had taken a hold of Leo from under his armpits, lifting him up out of his chair. "Come on, I've got you," he reassured, helping Leo stand up carefully.

Leo let out a small gasp as his belly shifted heavily, the movement sending new waves of discomfort and slight nausea throughout his body. Cal kept his hand firmly on Leo's lower back, supporting him as he wobbled slightly on unsteady legs. They made their way towards the couch, Cal guiding him with gentle encouragement.

Once again, Cal internally found it very amusing that Leo seemed so off-balance and disoriented.

Cal usually had an actual ball-belly to deal with after a stuffing, physically putting off his center of balance.

But Leo, even at his fullest right now, didn't have more than a small bump. …He didn't doubt that Leo probably felt bigger than he looked, though.

As they finally reached the couch, Cal helped Leo lay down on his side, propping a few pillows behind him to make sure he stayed in a comfortable position. Leo let out a relieved sigh, but the relief was short-lived.

Cal settled next to Leo on the couch, continuing to massage his bloated tummy with slow, soothing circles. He knew just how badly Leo wanted to burp or fart to find some relief, and the anticipation was making the atmosphere in the room thick with tension, mostly for Leo.

While Cal would usually be blasting from both ends, if anything he would be struggling to release air fast enough to keep up with whatever was being produced inside his body, Leo's stomach didn't seem to know what to do in such a situation.

Leo’s guts seemed to take their sweet time moving his meal around his body, making sure whatever came before it was completely done and empty before moving on.

It also seemed to release everything in one single movement if it could, instead of periodically along the way, bit by bit.

So everything would build up, each step in the digestion process trying to single handedly take care of everything Leo had so hastily eaten before letting it move along, so he couldn’t force anything out, or really will anything to move any further along than it was.

Leo's breath hitched every so often as he tried to release some gas, his face contorting in desperation. Leo's face would scrunch up in pure agony as he fought against his body, desperately trying to release some of the pressure building inside him.

After what felt like an eternity, his body finally gave way again.

With an almost audible 'pop', his ass released a long, slow fart that lasted a good four seconds. It was just like the first one, silent in terms of a fart, but they could both hear a sort of ffffshhhhhh.

The relief that washed over Leo was anything but quiet. He stayed tense a few seconds after it was over, but then immediately went limp and moaned, a mix between pleasure and pain. "Oooouuhh fuck, I needed that..."

His belly was still disgustingly full, but for a moment he felt relief as he was able to get rid of some gas.

He looked up at Cal through half-lidded blue eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. He knew he looked ridiculous, but he didn't care. All that mattered was that he'd managed to let something out.

Cal couldn't help but stare at Leo's belly as it deflated slightly from the release, his own cock twitching in his pants at the sight. He could only imagine how relieving that must feel for Leo. Lots of buildup, huge payoff.

He loved watching him like this- he loved seeing Leo in pleasure. It was like a drug, and Cal was hopelessly addicted. Unfortunately, the smile faded as the relief did, and Leo’s stomach went back to working on whatever was next on the metaphorical conveyor belt of slop to digest.

Leo didn’t look like he was really enjoying the situation as a whole, just the small moments whenever the pressure was reduced.

Cal leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on Leo's cheek before moving his hand to rest on Leo's tummy again, this time reaching up under his shirt. He wants to try and make Leo feel good somehow.

Leo's face flushed brighter, but he didn't pull away from Cal's touch. Instead, he leaned into it slightly, enjoying the feeling of Cal's hand on his skin. He let out another silent puff of a burp, followed by a tiny fart. This time audible, but squeaky, small, and useless. "It’s rumbly again…" he admitted quietly.

Leo's body shook as he continued to try and expel gas, his tummy rumbling and protesting against the external coercion of the contents within it.

He groaned as he pushed, trying to force air out any way he could. He knew that he needed to let some of this pressure go, but it seemed like no matter how hard he tried, nothing would come out. He felt Cal's hand move slowly across his stomach, feeling the movement of food sloshing around inside.

Cal's touch sent shivers down his spine. It was becoming more and more apparent to Leo that he should leave the stuffing to Cal, but while he's in this situation anyway, he wants to at least try and make himself burp or something.

He clenched up, preparing to burp again, but it was quickly followed by a gurgling sound from deep in his belly. "Ugh.. It's all moving around.." Leo moaned, "It feels like it's trying to digest.. like it's all mixing.."

Cal's brown eyes glinted mischievously as he leaned down to whisper in Leo's ear. "Yyyep. That's the food moving through you, babe. Your poor little tummy is working hard." He nipped at Leo's earlobe a little as he kissed the side of his neck, enjoying the way he squirmed beneath his touch.

Leo groaned again, this time more from arousal than discomfort. The thought of Cal touching him up, kissing and nuzzling into his face and neck from beside him, rubbing his belly.. he was being so.. so TOUCHED. Which was hot to him no matter what. He felt his cock twitch against his pants.

"Cal..." He breathed out, his eyes pleading.

Cal's fingers danced lightly over Leo's belly button, feeling the way it dipped in and out as Leo tried to burp again. "Okay, hold on- just relax, babe. Let it happen naturally. I cant keep kissing on ya if you keep clenching up and moving around, right?.." He said softly.

Leo let out another sigh, but followed Cal's advice. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, trying to ignore the discomfort in favor of the warmth of Cal's hands.

After a few moments, he felt a bubble forming in his stomach, moving its way upwards.

He opened his mouth and let it escape, releasing a soft burp that sounded like *hup*. It wasn't much, but it helped. There was still a bit more on its way.

Finally, Leo let out a proper burp.

It was loud, and it rumbled deep in his chest, coming out with a satisfying *UUuuorrrrpP*.

His eyes widened as he felt the relief flood through him just from hearing such a sound come out of his own mouth, and his cock hardened even more against his pants.

Burping and listening to how people in his videos would burp was always something that turned him on, and the fact that he had done it after such a struggle only amplified the sensation tenfold.

He groaned softly, his body tensing as he tried to control his arousal.

"Oh my god.." Leo breathed out, eyes wide with excitement, "Holy shit, finally! I’ve never been able t- that's like the first time in forever that I've actually burped like that!.." The release of air felt like heaven, not to mention the fact that he actually managed to somehow burp all loud like a normal person for once.

He couldn't help but arch his back slightly as he let out another smaller burp. "fuck..." He muttered somewhat dissappointingly, looking down at his crotch, where a visible bulge was forming.

Cal grinned, watching Leo's body's reaction with delight, seeing his boyfriend genuinely turned on like this. Jackpot!

Leo's breath hitched as Cal's hand began to roam lower, tracing the outline of Leo's erection through his jeans.

Leo shifted uncomfortably as Cal continued to massage his stomach, feeling another burp build up inside of him.

He hoped it would make a sound like that other one.

Leo didn't like being this full - it was hot seeing other people like this, but there was no pleasure in the discomfort here for him personally. But he couldn't deny that the act of burping - finally being able to release some of that trapped air - was turning him on, so the situation was somewhat salvageable.

Cal noticed the change in Leo's demeanor and took this as an opportunity, reaching down from Leo's belly and rubbing one of his hands against the top of Leo's leg. "Does it feel good when you finally get one out?" He asked, amused.

Leo could only nod. Cal leaned down to nuzzle his neck, kissing lightly at the sensitive skin, making sure Leo could hear each smooch. Leo whined softly as he felt Cal's hot breath against his ear. “I’ve never heard you burp like that before, you almost sounded like me.. almost..”

Cal sat continued to work on Leo's stomach, to manipulate it to get the reactions he wanted, sitting beside him and rubbing, pressing, and pushing air up and out instead of just soothing him or helping it digest.

He could feel the tension building up inside his boyfriend once again, ready for another release. "C'mon babe, let it out for me." He coaxed, pressing his other hand into Leo’s crotch, taking hold of what he could through the denim and giving it a light squeeze.

Leo's entire body jerked forward as another burp erupted from his lips - this one was short, but it made a burp sound, which was enough for Leo right now.

"*URrp* Fuck.. Cal.." He moaned, his hips shifting involuntarily, his hardening cock rubbing against the fabric of his underwear beneath his pants.

Cal's own arousal was growing by the second, listening to Leo's desperate sounds and feeling him writhe beneath his touch.

He slipped both of his hands under Leo's shirt now, running his fingers across his sensitive skin. Leo gasped, arching his back again.

"You like that? I bet'cha feel good getting that out huh.. Let me distract you from your bellyache for a while.." Cal mewled, teasing Leo's nipples a little bit. He could feel exactly where his usually almost concave stomach now bulged out below his ribcage.

Leo nodded frantically, unable to form coherent words. The touch and feel of his heavier partner leaning into him was driving him wild.

Cal chuckled softly at Leo's response, leaning in even closer to press yet another gentle kiss against his cheek. "That's my good boy," he whispered, his hands still massaging Leo's chest rather than his stomach.

He knew how much Leo loved praise, and even though he could tell stuffing himself wasn't exactly his thing, he wanted to make sure Leo knew that Cal still appreciated the effort.

Leo let out a small whine as one of Cal's hands trailed downwards from his chest, his breaths coming out shallow and quick, but not because of gas pains this time.

He could feel his belly rolling and shifting under Cal's palm, and even though it was uncomfortable, he tried to focus on the sensation of being touched like this instead.

Cal repositioned himself, gently rotating and then lowering Leo backwards, hovering atop him, then laying down beside him longways on the couch.

He held the blonde boy close, not wanting either of them to fall off.

As Cal spooned Leo, one hand on one of his nipples and the other rubbing his belly, letting his hand slip generously low, so that Leo's belly wasn't the only thing being rubbed.

Cal hoped Leo was as turned on as he was.

Going by the rigidity he felt when his hand rubbed Leo's crotch, it seemed to be the case.

Leo's stomach gurgled loudly, a slow, low rumble that made him wince..

Cal was quick to begin comforting and distracting him from it. "You're such a trooper," Cal murmured, his voice husky with arousal, "Trying new things for me.. I love you sooooo much... this was good, 'cause now we know that you're gonna stick to feeding... or maybe some kind of bloating- something that makes you burp without upsetting your belly?...." Cal caught himself rambling and cut himself off.

"Uh, forget that right now. I'm just brainstorming." His lips moved to Leo's neck, nibbling and sucking on it gently as his hands continued to roam.

The words sent a shiver down Leo's spine regardless of what was being said, and he turned his head to try and get a better look at Cal.

He couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth despite the discomfort. "I-I'll try anything once.." Leo managed to say between gasps, another burp bubbling up deep inside of him.

Cal chuckled again, completely turning Leo around towards him to capture his lips in a kiss. It started slow and gentle, but soon turned heated. Before either of them could pull away, the aforementioned gas came rushing up and out of Leo's mouth. Another burpy-sounding burp, but somewhat muffled...

Because Cal's mouth was on his.

Leo pulled away from the kiss abruptly, cheeks flushing as he realized what had happened. "Oh shit, Cal! I'm s-sorry..." He began to apologize, but Cal only smiled wider and pulled him back in for another kiss, cutting him off.

Leo was visibly embarrassed but.. Cal's enthusiasm made it hard for him to stay that way.

As they continued making out, Leo couldn't help but notice that his belly seemed to be settling a bit. He was certainly still very full, but it didn't hurt as bad, he just felt heavy.

Maybe the burping was helping more than he thought. Or maybe it was just Cal's touch successfully distracting him.

He couldn't decide which felt better right now, and didn’t really care either.

Cal's hands never stopped roaming Leo's body, massaging his stomach gently now and again to coax out any shy bubbles.

Most of the time Cal just let his own belly squish against Leos, it was inevitable in their position anyways. Leo found himself relaxing into it, letting out soft moans, wrapping his legs around Cal’s to squish himself even further into the man’s softer and more pillowy stomach, feeling it against his own sore, rookie tummy.

They rolled around together on the couch, their bodies pressed against each other as they explored each other's mouths with their tongues, and bodies with their hands.

Eventually, Leo felt another burp building up inside him, but he tried to suppress it this time. However, Cal seemed determined to draw it out of him.

He pressed his lips firmly against Leo's, his tongue sweeping into the thinner man's mouth, and Leo couldn't help but relax. The burp slipped out, echoing through both of their mouths.

Cal moaned softly, and Leo could feel the vibration of it against his lips. It was such an odd sensation, but also strangely erotic.

Leo couldn't believe Cal was actually enjoying that.. but alas, he was.

He imagined himself in Cal's position, which was infinitely more arousing. Thinking about being in the opposite role made his cock throb within the confines of his increasingly tight and increasingly moist pants.

Leo's initial arousal wasn't necessarily stemming from the pressure of his overfilled stomach, rather the fact that he was able to actually burp for once. This was a rare occurrence for him, one he didn't know how to manually replicate without forcing himself into such an uncomfortable state.

Leo couldn't believe how turned on he was getting right now, especially considering his discomfort. But the mixture of Cal's praise, touch, and the sensations he was feeling now made it impossible for him to resist.

He's really trying to savor the good parts. Like how each burp brought with it a wave of relief that he could feel AND hear as it left him.

And the fact that Cal seemed to be enjoying it only added fuel to the fire burning inside him.

Leo's hands grasped small fistfuls of Cal's shirt as he felt himself getting closer to the edge, the tension coiling inside him was too much to handle. "fu- oh fuck, I'm close!..."

He breathed heavily, arching against Cal's touch, "uhnn.. Cal, pleasegofaster, hah~harder, f-hurry...." his voice trailed off at the end until he was whispering a garbled variation of "faster" and "gonna cum" with each exhale.

Cal nodded wordlessly, trying to comply with his lover's request. He quickly unbuttoned Leo’s pants and reached into them. His hand pressed harder into the outline of Leo's hard cock, applying just the right amount of pressure, trying to squeeze and grasp it as best he could through his underwear with each tug.

Leo was doing some work of his own, forcefully grinding and thrusting into and against Cal's hand.

The inside of Leo's underwear near the tip of his cock was slick with precum making it all the more satisfying (and all the less difficult) to feel the fabric rub against his dick, the damp heat trapped inside under the layers of his clothes.

The pressure inside Leo grew, building with each thrust. He could feel his climax approaching like a freight train, his entire body tensing as he struggled to contain himself. "Cal... fuck.. fuck.." Leo moaned again, louder this time, his voice desperate and embarrassing, "c-cumming.. ah- I-I'm gonnacum!~"

Leo's entire body went rigid, his back arching against the back cushions of the couch as he cried out, releasing a string of high pitched moans that were cut off almost as soon as they started by his own gasps for air.

He came hard, cum spilling into the confines of his underwear, drenching the fabric with his release.

Cal groaned into Leo's ear as he felt the hot wetness against his hand, his own arousal spiking higher. He didn't stop rubbing though, even after Leo's cock had begun to twitch and soften. He continued stickily until the last few drops were squeezed out of him and he was milked dry.

Leo was left panting, his face flushed and eyes glazed over, his body feeling heavy, but sated.

Cal pulled away from him, an uncharacteristically needy look on his face. Cal then brought his dampened hand to his own crotch, reaching into his pants and undoing them quickly with his other hand. "mmmph, Leo, your face when y- it's- you can't just..."

Cal rolled over and quickly whipped out his own dick, ensuring Leo was out of the ‘splash zone’ while he recovered from his own orgasm.

As Cal hastily brought himself to release, Leo lay panting on the couch, trying to regain control of his breathing.

The last few minutes as well as the hours prior had been intense, and he was still feeling the aftershocks of pleasure ripple through him.

At least he didn't feel like his belly was going to explode anymore.

He looked over at Cal, whose body was now facing away from him, hand working feverishly at his cock. Leo couldn't see much from this angle, but he didn't need to.

He could hear Cal's heavy breathing, and the wet sounds of his hand working against his erection- Cal was stroking himself with the same hand he had just used to rub Leo’s cumsoaked boxers. One could only guess, for maximum efficiency.

Leo felt another burp coming on, but this one was different. It wasn't forced, or painful, but rather a result of his relaxed state after cumming.

He let it out with a soft sigh, "hu-urp... uuuhp- ahh..", feeling it roll through his body one last time.

It wasn't as loud as the previous ones, it was more silent and airy like how he normally burped,, but it somehow managed to fill the room with its presence, serving as a reminder of the strange new dynamic they had just shared.

Cal's hand stilled for a brief moment, his head flopping down onto the couch, his grip on his cock tightening before he let out a loud, strained sigh. Leo could see Cal's shoulders tense, and hear the wet sounds grow faster before stopping abruptly, then continuing in slow, jerky pumps.

He also saw ropes of white sputter onto the carpet as Cal lay parallel to him, facing the outward side of the couch, panting heavily. Leo couldn't help but smile, feeling a sense of pride at having brought Cal to climax as well.

"Fuuuuuuuck.. I'll clean that don't worry," Cal started, still catching his breath, "Merry Christmas, though.. damn!" he exclaimed triumphantly, rolling back over to face Leo.

"Happy holidays to you too..." Leo replied weakly, his breath still uneven as he tried to recover from the intense release.

He was exhausted, both mentally and physically. He looked down at his damp clothes and Cal's cum splattered across the carpet and shook his head.

This wasn't exactly how he pictured spending Christmas, this was quite possibly the most Christ-less Christmas he's ever had in his life.

He reflexively began to feel bad, but the feeling never came down as hard as it usually did, maybe it was because he was looking into Cal's beautiful brown eyes, and for once, he welcomed the suffocating closeness of eye contact for a while.

He stared into Cal's eyes for a good 5-mississippis before having to look somewhere else on his face!

He’d never looked that deeply into them before, not in this light at least, because he saw hints of hazel within the smooth brown pools surrounding Cal’s iris.

For as short as those 5 seconds of prolonged eye contact may have seemed, Leo cherished and savored each one.

Leo pushed the sexual guilt down for later, as usual- but it didn't feel as urgent this time.

Like if you were to put off a specific assignment until the last day while you completed other ones, until it just makes more sense to cut your losses, count that zero into your grade, and work on other projects instead of staying up all night and stressing. Using your energy on the stuff you could actually feasibly finish instead.

But like, the good responsible mental version of that.

Having Cal made it easier for Leo to procrastinate on coming back to the guilt until he hardly had the energy to dwell on it, and by that time, he was usually having fun with his partner again anyways, focused on another activity or conversation.

In truth, he was thankful for Cal's understanding and willingness to help him explore this fetish of his, even though Leo didn't like being the one to stuff his own tummy, but hey, now they know, and they had both found a way to make it work in the end.

Leo sat up and leaned against the armrest of the couch, staring at the ceiling in silence for a moment before his stomach bubbled.

Leo's guts were different from Cal's guts in many ways, as evidenced by recent events.

Leo was unable to get a belly as easily, and there was a reason behind that called a superfast metabolism, for better or for worse. Once things were done, they were done. They were done all at once and suddenly, like they were in the earlier stages of digestion.

Stuff didn't stick around inside him to absorb and ferment like Cal, whose body adapted in his early years to savor every miniscule morsel and keep itself full for as long as possible.

Leo climbed over the armrest of the couch and stood up quickly, walking away in a rush. "Huh- hey, where're you going?" Cal asked, confused, pushing himself up to see what all the hubbub was about.

"..oh! heh." he chuckled, watching Leo as he quickly and quietly disappeared into the bathroom.

(((THE END)))

------------------------------

Thank you so much for reading, if you did read it. Comments are encouraged and appreciated, let me know what you liked and any ideas or suggestions for future writings! -

[prettyboypistol]

TF2 Medic x M!Reader || Unreliable Nurse

[Hurt/Comfort] [Understanding Medic] [Period Accurate Homophobia/Xenophobia towards Gays/Germans] [Coworkers to Ambiguous] [GORE WARNING]

You were a mercenary. You were hired to kill people day in and out for the gratification of your superiors and you were not allowed to stop until the day your contract ended. Every morning should have been the same- wake up, gear up, shoot up.

So why the hell were you holding your Heavy's torso open with spreaders while your Medic dug around in his organs?! You were supposed to end lives, not mangle them back to life!

"Medic, why am I even here?" You grunt in disgust as Heavy's organs squish against your bare palm. They are disgustingly alive. Should intestines move like that on their own?!

"Well someone has to hold the ribcage open, and my hands are rather busy at the moment!" Medic responded cheerfully. He was right though; both of his hands were what you could only describe as groping Heavy's lungs and heart with a sadistically pleasures look in his eyes.

"Eugh, you look like you're getting off to this." You growled as Medic finally seemed satisfied with his curiosities. The lungs he had installed in Heavy were significantly bugger than your head- would the torso even close up?

"Nonsense, I am a professional- er, mostly." Medic chuckled to himself. He waved your hold away as he healed Heavy back up to his usual hulking self. Well, at least someone seemed happy about the surgery that wasn't an absolute psycho.

You had no idea why you helped Medic clean up after the surgery, you could have left at any time, yet you didn't. Maybe it was because you held a burning question on the tip of your tongue that begged to esca-

"Do you actually get off to like, gore and stuff?"

Shit.

Medic perked up, a quizzical look on his face as he flushed the blood into the storage bags. "Do I really give off that vibe?" He sounded rather genuine in his question too. Fuck, you felt like the world's biggest asshole.

"I mean, Scout seems to think so- plus uh, you do this thing with your face that kinda well-" you stumbled over your words as you swept up the bone fragments into the dustpan at your feet. Bending over, you finally finished your sentence. "I dunno, it just looks like you're some kinda sadist."

Medic shook his head as he placed the bloodbags into the fridge. His eyes flickered over where the Spy head used to be before the enemy Scout stole it back. He was a rather funny conversationalist.

"No, not a sadist in the regard. You all are perfectly safe from me!" Medic attempted to joke. You nodded and gave him a small laugh of acknowledgement.

"Well, I suppose I should tell Scout the good news. He's been spouting about how you've been trying to inject him with homosexual serum to see if you can turn him." You informed him. You and the team knew that Scout was spouting bullshit, but your curiosity to Medics reaction was what pulled you to tell him.

Medic slammed a fist down onto his vivisection table, his expression rather grimly stern.

"I've had it with that ungrateful little brat." He muttered. He looked to you, but when you nodded in understanding, he started to vent. "He's always getting himself into shit, then begging me to fix him back up!" Medic threw his hands up, mocking Scout's voice. "always 'Oh medic, heal me!' 'Oh medic! I broke my arm again!'" Medic growled as he slicked his hair back and sighed. "All while calling me a goddamn nazi when I prioritize Heavy!"

You let Medic rant. Clearly this had been on his mind and weighing on him, if the nervous pacing and dramatic gesturing was anything to go by. Yeah, you had heard Scout make a few jabs about the SS and war camps to Medic, but you never really had gotten involved before- it wasn't your business anyway and Medic could handle himself- so you thought.

"I'm not a fucking nazi! I was sixteen and drafted as a Medic!"

You interrupted Medoc with a hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at you, shocked and clearly hurt in his brow.

"Yeah, I'll bust him up for that. Didn't know it was that bad, if I knew I woulda stepped in." You apologized- at least, this was your version of an apology. Medic took a calming inhale before he tried to return you a weak smile.

"I try not to let the words of the youth get to me too much. Hell, do you think he was alive for the war?" Medic laughed weakly.

"Isn't he about 25? Probably was born just on the outskirts of it." You mused. You were a few years older than Scout was, but Medic outmatched you with the streaks of grey in his hair. He shook his head softly with a muttering of "Ah, the blissful ignorance of the young."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I don't think you're a nazi nor do I think you're some weird psychosexual freak trying to turn us all into homos." You promise with a playful punch to Medic’s shoulder. "Besides, you can't turn what's already there, yeah?"

"You're-"

"Mhm, don't go telling anyone though, I could lose a job if that info came out."

You thought it was only for that you were open to Medic, since he was gracious enough to be honest with you.

"I thought I was the only one!" Ah, there was that excitedly happy chirp you were scaredly fond of.

Maybe being an impromptu nurse wasn't so bad after all.

[yunhogosailing]

women’s rights, stan culture, and “idolization”: what the fuck are we doing here?

tw: sexual abuse

i am absolutely dismayed to hear of the ongoing situation involving taeil, despite knowing very little about him as a person and having surface level knowledge of nct 127 as a group. i am even more dismayed at the discourse surrounding the way nctzens, especially taeil stans, have been reacting to the news since the announcement this morning.

i dont want to rant and ramble bc that helps nobody. i’ve read my fair share of thinkpieces on various platforms—some well thought out, some covering the bare minimum at best, and even more demonstrating a complete lack of understanding as to how we need to approach these subjects both as fans and as consumers. i feel as if everything that needed to be said has been said, but i do want to touch on a point of my own, and tell you all how you can help support the ongoing korean feminist movement.

it is not healthy to go about your entire life assuming that you will see the worst of someone eventually.

this is true for anyone you meet: an idol, a family member, a friend, and a complete stranger. i’m exhausted by all of the Hot Takes admonishing those who feel a sense of loss, sorrow, and disgust upon finding out that someone who they were led to trust could potentially be capable of doing something as heinous as what is being alleged against taeil.

“you don’t know these people” you’re correct! i most certainly do not.

“don’t put these people up on a pedestal” nobody is doing this by virtue of simply being a fan.

“as a boy group stan you should always keep in mind that men are shit.” are you starting to see my issue, yet?

you are not naive or stupid for believing the best in someone, even if this is a person you have never met and will never know on a more personal level than as a fan of an idol. i am exhausted with the seemingly popular belief that its somehow healthy or normal to navigate through life operating under the assumption that everyone around you has the capacity for violence and harm. it is not healthy. as a survivor of sexual abuse and harassment, one of the first things i had to regain over my life was a sense of control and sanity. this meant ridding myself of the fear that i could be re-victimized at any moment. statistically speaking, it was always a possibility. but realistically speaking, i was doing far greater harm to myself throughout my recovery when i was afraid of the men around me.

if you are an nctzen, if you are taeil biased, do not feel bad about being blindsided by this. do not start assuming that the other members must have been aware, or must be involved, or must have committed some crime of their own; that is simply not how the real world works. if you are a fan of boy groups, keep your standards high but do not view this as a reason to be hyper vigilant of the people you stan. do not assume the worst until they present you with the worst. expecting people to be decent is not idolizing someone. its when you refuse to hold them accountable to the actions that they have done that you cross the line between being a fan and being an enabler.

why is this important to keep in mind?

we as kpop stans are in a particularly unique position. we are consumers of a byproduct from a culture that is undergoing a severe women’s rights crisis.

just recently, a series of telegram groups were discovered in which hundreds of thousands of users created and shared artificial explicit materials (deepfakes) involving women and young girls spanning from kindergartners to university students to adults; family members, classmates, coworkers, etc. the figures of the perpetrators involved could potentially be as high as 300,000 individuals, and a overwhelming majority of those in these chats are believed to be men.

this incident is coming right off the tails of another, more infamous group of telegram rooms nicknamed “the Nth rooms”—where a number of men helped to orchestrate one of the largest cases of digital sex crimes in south korean history, victimizing over a hundred women and young girls for the purpose of disseminating violent sexually explicit materials.

even before the original Nth Room case, korean women had more than enough reasons to fear for their safety; molka (hidden camera) crimes were on the rise, with over 30,000 cases being reported between 2013 and 2018. korean women were being assaulted and killed in their homes and on the street for no reason (significantly high femicide rates are still an issue in south korea today). women were being prosecuted over the mere belief that they may be involved in the country’s feminist movement—experiencing professional repercussions over accusations such as reading a book, having short hair, or making a gesture. in the wake of this anti-feminist backlash, it became increasingly common for men to voice their discomfort for what they believe to be “radical” measures taken by korean women to ensure their safety and improve their futures. see, for example, rapper San-E who wrote a diss track towards feminists and is still able to walk these streets relatively unharmed due to his position of privilege.

the notion that you should always assume that every man you meet is a potential sex criminal or a misogynist is harmful simply because that is the exact reason why korean feminists have been working so hard to change the legislation surrounding sexual crimes for the last two decades. the ultimate goal of gender equality is having that reassurance that no matter what gender motivated crime is committed against you, you will be entitled to justice through the courts and free of the stigma of being a victim in society. korean women want to be able to interact with their brothers and fathers without worrying about ending up in a deepfake video. korean women want to be able to venture outside their homes at night without fear of being followed and abducted. korean women want to be able to use the restroom at work without having to check the stalls for microscopic recording devices. the idea that you should be weary of those around you and those who have gained your trust is detrimental to your mental health, and with this knowledge, korean women have been actively working tirelessly to ensure a future where they will not have to worry about this.

it could be your faves, but theres no guarantee that it will ever be or that it will never be. rather, work today to uphold the standard that women should be protected and hold those who have violated their rights as human beings to the full power of the law. keep the names of those who have suffered or died from violent crimes against women alive and their stories in the media. south korean feminists are asking for our help in spreading the news about the recent deepfake Nth rooms, because they are facing silence and noncompliance from domestic media outlets to do their due diligence in investigating this matter.

they are suggesting that you take korean news articles surrounding the deepfakes, or korean feminist posts discussing the telegram groups and any events that are being planned to protest for women’s rights, and run them through a translator if needed in order to share them with english speaking news media. the idea is that as long as international eyes are on the atrocities being committed against women in the country, the korean news cannot suppress their voices.

here are the twitter accounts that i know of who are taking the risk to share their stories and that of other south korean women:

link to profile

link to profile

link to profile

link to profile

link to profile

[schlattsdoll]

Melting over your blog……….why do I feel like schlatt would be such a good listener. Like you would come home from working fuming about your colleague and you would rant. He would just be like “she did that??” “That bitch” and like agreeing with everything you’d say about the colleague. - 🍒

thank you 🍒🩷 nd i had a rough day at work so i’m absolutely using this to vent also doing ldr! schlatt

omg talking shit w schlatt would be so fun, he’s actually very into hearing everything you have to say to him

he’d be the type of guy to have your work schedule on his calendar so he knows when you’re home nd when to call you <3

always asks you when you get home and get settled how your day was at work. you were so mad today that you almost missed your nightly facetime call. “damn doll. what happened today that’s got you so upset?”

and you sit there and ramble and vent about how your coworker quit mid shift, leaving for her break and never coming back, making you have to do double the amount of work. you also now had no one to cover your shifts for the week you planned to fly down to austin to see him secretly

“not ashley! i thought you liked her. damn, what a bitch! ‘m sorry princess.” he starts as you change into one of his crewnecks he sent you and snuggling the large rammie plushie. you didn’t question why he was in a car driving, knowing he liked going on late night drives. “yeah, shit sucked. but enough ‘bout my day. where you heading big guy?”

a chuckle escaped his lips, “about that. i might have something to cheer you up.”

“johnathan schlatt i swear to god if you whip out your cock i’m hanging up.”

“no!” he said, getting out of the vehicle and grabbing something from the backseat he added. “come outside.”

you raced down your steps and over to your front door where you saw, standing outside, your boyfriend holding a basket of goodies for you. “heya doll. surprised?” you almost tackled him in a hug, needing nothing more than to be in his arms after a long day. “missed you little bug.”

[fuck-customers]

One of my older (50s???) coworkers called for help pre-emptively, and I was free so I went down to see what was up. He expects the register to come up with an alert after finalising this transaction so he'd need someone to clear it.

As I'm waiting, the customer (60s?) he's serving is fucking about with her bags and groceries and then trying to get her cash out of her wallet. My coworker fumbles the register screen and accidentally hits EFT instead of cash. Mumbles "shit, I hit the wrong one" fairly quietly under his breath and then goes to fix it. This customer heard it and immediately, in a very accusatory tone, asks him "was *that* a swear word?" like he's a kid that said a bad word. He asks her to repeat herself, and she does. He responds with "yeah, I said shit, because I hit the wrong button on here", as he points to the screen. The customer keeps going on her tirade and the next customer in line turns to her and says "people say it all the time", in what I'm guessing was an attempt to diffuse the situation and/or get her to move along.

She then starts ranting about how "they even say it on tv now!!!!" and after finally paying my coworker, she says, almost shouting "so now, these days, if a policeman comes up to someone, what do you say? EFF!!!!". She checks her change over enough times it was obvious she thought my coworker had intentionally shortchanged her and then left in a huff without saying another word.

Absolutely fucking bizarre, what the fuck?????????

Posted by admin Rodney.

[andromeda3116]

dude yesterday was a fucking trip

so there's this guy at work on the other side (a branch of the lab that i don't directly work with), hardcore trumper, total control freak self-righteous asshole kind of person who brags about how many guns he has, like a real piece of work

and he bought, on black friday, a pair of meta smart glasses, and, supposedly, wore them to work

now, i heard about this tuesday, and my instant thought was "oh my GOD the hipaa violations there" because we see so much phi, like, constantly, like everything that we see is phi

and the person who was telling me about this was like "i don't think they're going to do anything about his behavior"

but i was like "okay but hipaa. like. HIPAA."

so i sent an email to a couple of the people over there saying, basically, hey, i heard about this, i think they're not really looking at this from a hipaa perspective, because like it's more than just a violation of your privacy, it's a violation of patient privacy, here's a link to the policy i think he's violated, i believe it should be reported to institutional compliance (who is above hr) and action needs to be taken but since i didn't directly see it, i'm not going to jump the gun on this unless you ask me to

and somehow

somehow

he saw the email

best guess is that one of two people i sent it to walked away from the computer with her email up, he saw his name in the subject line, and he read it, and assumed that i had reported him to hr

and he fucking exploded

the next morning he sent this rambling, raging email to both me and the girl who told me about this, calling her a pathological liar and sarcastically saying shit about how i think i'm the purveyor of truth and how if i think i'm such a great patient advocate then i should report all these other incidents (of human error, which even in his email admitted to being fixed before they could affect patient care) by all these other people, that could have cost the hospital millions of dollars (incidents, i should note, that he did nothing about) and basically all-around just being completely unhinged and, frankly, scary

and he fucking cc-ed our manager, his boss, and the medical director

he was so convinced that he was in the right, that he fucking cc-ed his own management with his ranting

the manager replied with something to the effect of "i understand that you're upset but this is not the way we talk to coworkers" and quietly cc-ed an hr representative on the email

the manager and the medical director both came up independently to ask if i was okay, the manager assured me that, yes, i did everything exactly right, and that hr was absolutely going to address it, and he commented that it was kind of good that this came out this way

because i mean. nobody caught him with the glasses. all the complaints about him are hearsay. he can wriggle out of anything... except this over the top rant at someone who was following red-letter company policy, which hr has now seen in all its fucking glory, in his own written words

so yeah. we got to watch someone absolutely implode and (hopefully) destroy their career all in real time

(i showed the email to a friend who is also in the field, who said that she was about to text her boss - who knows all the hiring managers in the area, it's a small field- to blacklist this guy. i sent her the email so that she can show her boss exactly what he said, and explain the situation in-depth. so yeah. fucking nuked his career.)

...but of course that leads to the tertiary concern, that this dude has guns. like, multiple guns. i told the medical director that me and the other girl in the email were legitimately afraid because of that and how he'd talked about them, and he said jesus in a tone of, like, oh this is gonna need the police to escort this dude out and get a fucking restraining order holy shit

haven't heard anything today, but uh. that's what's going on in my world right now.

[fruitless-vain]

Oooooookay here comes the rant post

What happened: jacks old coworker had a series of unfortunate events happen that resulted in them being homeless and jobless. We offered a place to stay first month rent free while they get a job, $200 a month after the fact just to cover absolutely bare bones basics so they can save up and move out quickly. Started out with him putting on a great people pleasing act and quickly turned in to a nightmare.

Ye animal related rant list:

Given explicit instructions not to do xyz with Yoshis because she is a service dog that cannot get in to these bad habits. One moment I see him telling her to eat something off the floor, I pick up the item and politely tell him she’s not allowed to do that since scavenging while she’s on the job at a restaurant would get us kicked out. I reward her for not eating the thing, turn my back for two minutes just to hear him whispering “eat it, take it, you can have it” once again encouraging her to eat off the floor

Initially I was letting her follow him downstairs, whatever, dudes going through a bad time and a happy dog makes anyone better. Until I learned he had been feeding her HUGE doses of food off his plate I’m talking larger than her entire meal and was feeding things that are outright toxic for dogs. I only found that out because Yoshi would throw up in the middle of the night for seemingly no reason. Asked him and sure as shit feeding her toxic things.

Repeatedly got in the way of Yoshi retrieving medications as well as actively trying to distract her while she was doing DPT for a medical episode.

On the first day I told him it’s hormone season for the parrots they are aggressive and sensitive right now please just ignore them, don’t interact with them at all, it will make things so much worse and someone will get bit. A couple days later he taunts Newt by wagging his fingers in front of him deliberately trying to set him off, I immediately tell him to stop in a very stern sharp tone, he blatantly ignores me, I have to raise my voice to get this grown ass man to stop harassing Newt. This disregard resulted in Newt flipping so bad he is now totally unhandleable I have to wear bulky headphones a loose sweater and a hood because he will launch to bite anyone to moves right now. Thanks for that genius.

Explained how scents will kill the birds, please smoke outside away from any open windows, wash your hands// air off before going near the bird room so the smoke residual doesn’t kill my pets. Does a mostly okay job at smoking away from windows, for whatever reason thinks smoking outside open doors is fine though? No attempt to ensure he doesn’t reek of cigarette before going down near the bird room. No effort not to kill my animals.

All my animals are clean and well maintained to the best extent an animal can be. He will pet sham then immediately make a snarky statement about him being gross or having to wash his hands now bc gross, smell his hands and huff away to wash his hands before resuming something dramatically. Just don’t pet him then? He’s a dog.

Finances:

We paid for everything for the first chunk with 0 need for payback because we wanted to help him out. Get some new clothes, the basic hygiene stuff, cover one tank of gas so he can hand out resumes. A startup base to get back on your feet with. Anything past that point that he asks for from us was agreed upon to be paid back whenever possible. He owes us over $1000 currently and has paid us $10 to take off of that debt. It’s been two months, he got a job within the first week. The only other payment has been the $200 rent agreed upon for the second month. Anything else he has ever “attempted” to pay us back with he would ask for it back within 8 hours.

Which wouldn’t be the biggest issue if not for the fact that: he has gone out drinking at bars every weekend, got a new girlfriend and has been buying her stuff/ giving her gas money/ paying her bills just for funsies, he started eating out and refusing to make food with the Free Stuff We Supply. He has the money to spend and pay us back. He just won’t.

Wasting, Everything. He showers twice a day every day. Our water bill has gone up $150 on his water usage alone. He will make a huge plate of food then just leave it sitting out all night and throw it away. He will cook 6 eggs at a time for himself then not finish it consistently. Make Less Next Time or USE THE FRIDGE.

He leaves every single light on and I don’t mean oops I left it on when I came upstairs and forgot. I mean he will leave at night to go to the bar and leave four lights on, the computer running and everything on high to go out for 4-6 hours. I am now acting like the parent of a child having to listen for his car driving away to go down the stairs and shut everything off god forbid my hydro bill pay the price and the birds be stuck with lights blaring keeping them awake.

We are flat broke right now, we have run ourselves dry, we made it very clear that past the first batch of purchases we got for him his expenses were his responsibility. He has asked for gas money every week since the start. He will make up some story about his car just burning through gas “it must be broke !” “Just filled it now sure how this happened???” For the first bit we went along with it adding it to list he owes us for but it quickly became a clear habit so we stopped. IMMEDIATELY started guilt tripped and being manipulative about it. Sending pictures of a car on E on the road after we said no, going “well where’d that 10$ I gave you go?????” Being super pushy and not taking No I don’t have money to give You as an answer.

Keeps wanting to do the grocery shop with this undertone of “I want to do the shop without you there so I can over buy things we don’t need and you’ll have to foot the bill for it” constantly mentioning things like expensive meats he wants to eat, buying excess of things we already have in the house, brands and things we cannot afford. Initially I interpreted his offers as kind like oh this is a hard task for me he wants to help! But this one day he was supposed to do it but we were out of pizza sauce and I was literally in the middle of prepping the dough so I just ran out and did it. He was So Mad that he didn’t get to do it like sir? Wtf was so important about groceries that I’ve foiled your plans here? What the HELL were you going to do?

Jack also smokes, if you buy x amount of cartons you get them cheaper so they were going to buy x amount and split the bill together. Dude smoked like 5/6 cartons all by himself. To add to this I have found his cigarettes all over my front yard from him smoking in his car and throwing it in to the grass, also some left at the side door instead of the ashtray that’s right the fuck there. On top of that half of these are still like full cigarettes? Just completely wasting shit that’s already a chaotic price for a habit he certainly can’t afford.

Habits:

We’ve had alcohol sitting in our house since our wedding. We don’t drink much but every now and then we celebrate something and have a nice night together. It’s nice having the booze sitting there for those random times we can have some fun without spending any money cause it’s already here. He drank a full bottle of vodka, rum, gin, kahlua, and wine within the second week of being here. It was all gone in a night.

He is incapable of flushing his own toilet. Every morning after he leaves for work I have to do the round shutting off the lights and discovered that he just leaves his shit to ferment all day long. There is piss splash all along the seat and surrounding floor. It reeks like a porta potty. It’s fucking disgusting.

Lies about it every tiny little thing, pretended I just didn’t buy two chocolate bars I mustve only gotten one and that’s why only one is in the pantry now. I found the wrapper on the floor of his room for that bar. Says he’s staying in this weekend doesn’t want to go out drinking can’t afford it then immediately goes out. Says he has no money for gas he can’t be doing anything then goes to drive to a fro around town for no reason other than to just drive.

Gotta love the casual bragging about all the “chores” he’s done so we should be grateful (he washed his own frying pan he used and the whole house needed to know about it)

Weaponized incompetence. Ohh I didn’t know the dishwasher was clean! There’s a giant sign on the front that says clean. Deliberately messing up cookies he wanted to make four times for his coworkers so that I would have to do it for him (that didn’t work, enjoy bringing gross cookies in, magically he made them perfectly the next time)

My all time favourite of “I think I’ll do X!” And then standing in the kitchen staring at me waiting for me to get up and do it for him. Boy does he every huff and puff when I do not move and just go “enjoy” when he starts asking 20 questions back to back to trigger me to just do it myself it’ll be easier I instead just go “idk” “try asking google”. Suddenly he’s capable of doing the thing with no further questions.

Claims to be a neat freak, will make an underhanded comment about dog fur or a bird poop on the couch or some other very small not a big deal thing then fails to even keep his bedroom clean. I have had to clean up sticky coffee spills from the hallway, deep clean the stair he covered in mud and clay, his room has no visible floor, need I mention the state of that bathroom again? Neat freak my ass you just want to complain and talk shit without sounding rude?

Dramatic gagging sounds whenever he sees a bird poop. Pretended to “help” by picking up a dog poop (which we didn’t ask him to do it’s our dog we’ll clean it) and then dramatically fake vomiting the entire time until one of us walked over took the bag from him and did it. Our dogs are on raw, the poops are small and have very minimal smell. No one asked him to do this if you were truly this bothered by poop you would just not. You just wanted to make a scene. About how Gross our animals are cause that seems to be all you do in a day.

Keeps going out the side door to smoke in the middle of the night then not locking the door when he comes back in.

Goes out every night drinking then spends all day bitching about not getting enough sleep

OH MY GOD I can only take Advil for my migraines bc of my heart medication. We have Tylenol for everyone else. HE TOOK THE ENTIRE BOTTLE OF ADVIL IN ONE FUCKING NIGHT. So I’ve been stuck with debilitating pain and no pain relief because it’s expensive as fuck. The bottle of Tylenol was also half chugged down by the next weekend. We will not be buying more.

Any and all leftovers I have from cooking for myself and Jack (I cook meals for all of us if he’s home but if he’s not I won’t bc who knows what time he’ll show up) he just eats without even asking. Most of the time the leftovers are for my flare up days so I can eat when I’m in pain. He’s been told this. He doesn’t care. If there is food pre made he will consume all of it it doesn’t matter if it’s way too much for one person to eat. He’ll just leave it out all night for a week to rot in the basement. Otherwise the only thing he will cook for himself is eggs. Expensive. We no longer buy eggs he can buy his own to feed that expensive diet choice.

Common sense not to use metal on things like frying pans and baking sheets. I inform him of this anyways, do not cut directly on my pizza pans. It will make them rust and no longer be non stick. These are new. Don’t damage them. He was supposed to be home for home made pizza, didn’t show until like 2am. I left cooking instructions with the dough pre set up for him just need to put on toppings bake and serve. I left a note saying “do NOT cut on tray” he cut on the tray. This was the second time. Both trays are permanently damaged. My notes were found in the oven burnt. Thanks for the fire hazard.

Complains about there being insects in the basement (there’s the occasional spider and we’ve had some rain so the occasional little wood bug is piping up the escape the rain) it just needs to dry and they’ll be gone. It’s a basement. There’s gonna be some spiders n shit. Bitched about there being ants. I’ve never had ants in this house anywhere, lo and behold leaving his food out all over the damn room attracted them. Told him this fact. He goes no it couldn’t possibly be that and demands to use chemicals (bird death so NO). Eventually got him to bring up his dishes and BEHOLD the ants are all gone.

Bitched about it being cold in the basement, (it’s warm enough for my tropical parrots?) we bought a second space heater for him. Yet he doesn’t use the spare blankets down there at all, still complains about it being cold. It’s the pit of summer. I’m not turning the central heating on??? Use the damn blankets????? Move the space heater closer to you????? Close your bedroom door??????????? This space heater has been left too close to flammable objects on no less than four occasions so far. It’s like he wants my house to burn down.

He kept wanting to be involved and help the house so we were having a bbq and asked him to pick up some small things we needed like a case of beer and some buns. He left and never showed back up. He then ate the leftovers of five burger patties and seven hotdogs which we were hoping to eat after pride all in one sitting for breakfast.

Ah yes, continuously eating the last of something and informing no one that it’s gone. Had no pickles for the bbq cause he ate them without telling anyone, numerous times I’ve been ready to do something just to find out there’s no cheese in the fridge bc he failed to notice it used the last of it and replace it with one we have in the freezer, eating all the prepped ingredients and putting empty containers in the fridge. It’s not hard to tell someone something is getting low, add it to the list, write it down, or literally anything other than eat the last of it and make it someone else’s problem later

Anywho this whole setup is shit, if we don’t get money by his next check we’ll be cutting ties and telling him to find a new place by the end of the month. This is getting ridiculous. Every day he’s asking for money while talking down to us and talking shit about our pets or our home all the while making no effort to pay what’s owed.

[adachimoe]

Meeting Mitsuaki Madono

I went to Sabaku Con over Memorial Day weekend and met Mitsuaki Madono, Adachi's Japanese voice actor.

I came into his QA session late on the 1st day as I had just arrived in Albuquerque and he was answering questions about his anime work. I think he assumed most people visiting his panels were into Bleach as its more recent (he voices Kon) as he did reference Kon a bunch, but a few people in the audience mentioned Adachi and he quoted Adachi's popular line, "This world's gone straight to shit" (世の中クソだな). He mentioned he found it fun to portray characters like Adachi and he also enjoys scaring his coworkers lol.

For shits & giggles, I asked him about reprising his role as Adachi in the P4U2 stage play cause it was different than his usual voice work and there was absolutely no way anyone had asked that before me. He explained for the rest of the audience that in Japan they do "2.5d" stage plays where there's actors playing the characters on stage, but they also do effects and stuff (the Personas fighting) as a screen overlay. He had told his agency he was interested in portraying Adachi on stage cause he really enjoys the role.

He then went into an old man rant about getting into shape for the stage play. These 2.5d plays are usually all acted by 20-30 year olds, but he was in his 50s at the time. He just had a health scare prior to taking on the role, so he had pushed himself to do it - doing cardio and also learning sword fighting for the stage play so he could keep up with all of the youngins. (Honestly, I think Adachi would say the same shit at age 27-28.)

To my embarrassment, after asking that, him and his wife remembered me all weekend. 🤡 I got to chat with him in Japanese as well! And he nihongo jyozu'd me. Which is basically Kryptonite to anyone who has spent time trying to learn Japanese lmao.

It was neat to meet him and also get to chat with him as well! His visit to the southwest really caught me off guard. I didn't find out about it until after I had come back from Asia, and it seemed so out of the blue that he was at a smaller local con like this.

The item I got signed was my wall scroll from the Persona 4 Golden anime adaptation. Right is his kanji name signature, left is his first name in hiragana calligraphy. (I debated getting my Adachi perfume signed, but the box is tiny...)

[midmorningsong]

So this morning a staffmate told me about the recent Miami Zoo Kiwi incident that’s come to light, and I’ve been fucking livid all day.

Just been reading through a bunch of articles (majority NZ news sources) and the Zoo’s official statement, and somehow it’s even worse than what my irate coworker was able to convey to me. Miami Zoo had the absolute fucking privilege of receiving a (North Isl. Brown (?)) kiwi egg to hatch and raise as a species you would never normally see outside our little island at the bottom of the world as part of a some global zoo wildlife initiative.

Brief brief summary: viral videos coming out of this kiwi (Paora) being put on a table and patted by paying customers under bright lights, having selfies taken, made to run around during the day, keeper pursuing him whenever he tried to hide in his box. All around blasé attitude from keeper talking about this bird while he’s being paraded about on display. There’s video footage but I could seriously only stomach watching it once. He’s been there for 4 years and in the wake of this outrage they’re claiming to be building him a ‘proper enclosure’ now. He’s been handled like this at least 4 times a week and his current enclosure has been 3x3m.

They had access to super fucking detailed information on how to take care of this very sensitive and specialized animal, and what the fuck do they do? Disregard ALL of it to sell cutesy, ~rare bird~, self-obsessed animal encounters.

Either you knowingly and intentionally went against SO. MUCH. vital animal husbandry or you are just such a fuckwit you legitimately think it was good animal handling, I don’t know which is worse honestly. If it’s the former, congratulations; American Capitalism continues to be the most nasty, disrespectful piece of shit I see regularly parading about in broad daylight. If it’s the latter, then are your staff for real just exotic pet-obsessed freaks who showed up one day in a uniform and you just went ‘yeah sure you can be a zookeeper good enough’. Shoutout to that ‘keeper’ who had Paora’s head pinned to the fucking table with his fist going ‘hohoh yeah he’s just like a dog he loves being pat on the head’ yeah sure thing idiot I bet your zookeeper degree taught you all animals and birds especially just love being slapped around and treated like dogs.

The thing that’s got me the most though, is how over the top and pitiful they are being in their apology; “we’ve offended a nation...”, “it should have never happened”, “we are so sorry this video has caused stress to people”, ok yeah but fuck what we think why is there exactly ZERO mention of the stress, harm and sheer exploitation you have put this animal through??? Like yes, Paora is a taonga species and that is certainly adding to the severity of this response, but in and of itself the fact that their official statement answers ONLY to humans’ responses and outrage and not the failure to care for this animal is telling as fuck to me.

I really liked reading iwi leader Paora Haitana’s response (who Paora the kiwi is named after), in much nicer words than me expressing deep concern over the harm to Paora, the disrespect it is to him as a taonga species and us as protectors of them, and also heavy, heavy emphasis on words holding no shape under the weight of everything that has happened; they need to follow through and follow through right now with adequate care.

Personally I’d like to see Paora moved to a zoo that actually cares about his needs and conservation education over selling clickbait. I feel the love and intention of bringing him home to Aotearoa, though I don’t know how realistic that is with the risk of introducing diseases from abroad into the NZ populations. I also would expect a thorough investigation of Zoo Miami’s husbandry for all their species and the credentials of their staff.

Thanks for coming along to rant o’ clock, I’ll be back to reblogging regular fandom shit now so please don’t follow me if you’re expecting more of my own content lol. Enjoy some great twitter banter from this mess