#every year is too much
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#anon about *that* fic#It’s fine. It’s whatever#I enjoyed it well enough when it was being posted as a WIP#but ultimately it’s so self indulgent#has zero tension#needs editing#and the ending is a phoned in let down#it just aggravates me that people fawn over it#and act as though it’s the best thing ever written#whatever… Everyone is allowed their own opinions#but having to suffer through a celebration of it#every year is too much#I really should set an alarm in my phone so remind me#Because every year I’m blindsided by irritation
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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that#fh class quangle#gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake#even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace#anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the#color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs#doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol#like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction#a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces#on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms#and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so#on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat#to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue#he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf#anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads#I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude#ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night#!!
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been#lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#pen’s notes
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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aquarium park 🐠🦑🐟
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#i think aquarium park is one of the most beautifully designed stages to have come out of the sonic franchise#the soundtrack? the vibes? the inspirations? immaculate#that being said this piece took 10 years off my life and made me want to die#stupid fucking coral and garbage ass composition and too much detail in every single element#fuck 3 point perspective i hate 3 point perspective#if i have to work on this any longer i might snap my own fingers
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hope we all know that this isn't just any paul aron who we're gonna see as the f1 reserve next year…
it's the paul who's been in love with racing ever since he was a baby, who wanted to race just so he could grow up to be like his brother. the paul who travels around to support his brother or his team even when he's got a weekend off.
it's the paul who finished third in his first-ever season of formula 3, who was in the fight for the title up until the last round (and would've had a much better chance if not for the team's mistake in spa).
it's the paul who fit so well into the mercedes profile, who expressed his gratitude to the team and their work whenever he could, who fought so hard to make them proud.
it's the paul who was always going to be put behind kimi in toto wolff's eyes, no matter how well he performed.
it's the paul who had to leave everything he had grown up with, his team of many years, his close friends and staff members, and move on. who had to let go of everything he knew from before and go alone.
it's the paul who went into his first full formula 2 season with hopes and dreams instead of expectations; who said he was there to learn and grow, and then he would see where that would take him.
it's the paul who failed to get into the top ten in qualifying for the first round of the 2024 season, but still managed a p5 in the sprint – and a podium in the feature, despite a time penalty, and got to celebrate in parc ferme with his brother and trainer.
it's the paul who, as a rookie, went onto the podium every round in the first seven rounds. who's been consistent like few others in a series (and team) known for its inconsistency.
it's the paul who never forgets to credit and thank his family, team and trainer, acknowledging that every success is thanks to a team effort – and that even if things don't go as well as planned, the team still did their best to help him out.
it's the paul who thanks to his determination and hard work managed to impress his f2 team principal, oliver oakes, so much that the latter thought "i need this guy on my team" when he became the alpine f1 principal.
it's the paul who fights every setback with an attitude of revenge instead of hopelessness; despite everything he's been through, he never gives up. he wants to prove everyone wrong.
it's the paul who turns every heartbreak – from mechanical failures to tactical missteps – into fuel for his fire. it's the paul who reminds us that success isn't a straight line; success is the product of unwavering determination and the courage to keep going.
it's a paul who's learned so much, grown so much stronger; who's been through so many hardships and said "you know what? i'm going to learn from this and come out stronger on the other side", and that's exactly what he did. i'm so proud to have gotten to follow him on this journey, and i can't wait to see where this next chapter of his life will lead him.
our paul aron. 💙
#so so so insanely proud of him#last year in macau? when we realized he was leaving mercedes? we were heartbroken... i had so much hope but no expectations#not because i didnt believe in him but because this world is so cruel even to someone as good as him#for this season... i assumed things would be way too hard and that i would be happy for every point. and i still am happy for every point!!#but seeing him on the podium that first weekend after not having expected it at all.... i knew he could do this#we never stopped believing did we? and now we're here#i love every one of you who's shared this journey with me#onto 2025 ❤️#f1#f2#paul aron#bwt alpine f1 team#formula two#formula 2#formula 1#formula one
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THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT KAITO AND SHINICHI ARE COUSINS??
#gosho you're evil 😭#if I had a dollar for every time a ship of a fandom i was in got revealed as cousins I'd have two dollars#which isn’t much but it's crazy that it happened twice#also not 20 but 30 years after the release btw. THIRTY. you cannot make this shit up#this ship is older than ME#and the most popular ship of dcmk too#I can only pray for the shippers I'm so sorry#that being said say fuck you to gosho by keep shipping them!#I've read and seen some absolute masterpieces of fics and arts. go wild. create more.#kaishin
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I genuinely don't think Curly would be as caring for Jimmy as some people depict him in aus where Jimmy gets stuck and burned rather than Curly.
I feel like the realization would truly hit in that moment of what Jimmy did and how bad it was as Curly desperately tries to get him out of the cockpit. He's trying to break in to save Jimmy, but is he? All the thoughts in his head; Jimmy's trying to kill them all, Jimmy's trapped in the cockpit, Jimmy raped Anya, Jimmy's going to die trapped in the cockpit, Jimmy trying to kill them all because of what he did to Anya, and sort of a final Jimmy did this. Is he trying to save him or trying to figure out why? Trying to finally make him take accountability? You can't hold trial for a dead man. Does he want Jimmy to die? Not really, but it'd be easier than figuring out where they go after this. After they drag him out and get his set up in medical and Jimmy refuses to look at anyone but him.
He's the only one who is truly willing to care for Jimmy. I don't think he's keeping him alive for the same reasons, just he can't bring himself to put him down. He wants answers, he wants to be mad. This is the first time he can talk to Jimmy and not have anything spun back at him but he can't get a response. He's never really been able to but for the first time Jimmy actually has to listen and he'll never know if he's actually listening to him this time. It reminds him too much of not understanding Anya. Anya has to care for him and he doesn't want her too, she shouldn't have to but they can't just let him die, can they? Should they? It's easier than hearing him in pain but that's a reminder he did this... even if Curly allowed it to happen.
No one seems to have thoughts on it but him and Anya. They know the reason he crashed the ship but they don't get the logic. Anya does actually, but Curly has to admit he does to. Has to admit he's always known Jimmy's logic behind things, things that need to be "fixed" but he's always taken responsibility and fixed it himself. The first time he really let Jimmy take responsibility and he couldn't, he can't fix anything and Curly know he can't either. He looks at Jimmy and sees every mistake but now he's wondering how many of Jimmy's he's been tacking on to his own. How different are they?
What should he had done to stop it? Maybe this should've happened to him...
Curly doesn't like those thoughts and how they only come when he's stuck with Jimmy, like he's always done to himself. He's way too gentle when he gives Jimmy his pills, too mindful of teeth that always gave him hollow smiles. A tongue that always told half truths, while he held his own. He holds his jaw too kindly and thinks about all the times he's clenched his and smiled for his friends sake. For Jimmy's sake. Jimmy still swallows the pills and struggles, whines like it's not his fault.
He hoped it hurt.
And he's a little scared that he's a little too okay thinking that.
#just i dont think hed sit and that med bay and remines hes staring Jimmy down with anger for the first time in their friendship#whatever tatters of it are left hes letting himself be angry at Jimmy and he cant even give a consequence he doesn't even know how aware or#lucid or able Jimmy is to really grasp all this the sentimental part of him hopes not at all but the part of him thats taken his crap for#all these years that let him get away with so much to him and sadly to others? He wants him awake and aware for every moment like I feel#like hed get close to hitting Jimmy like this and stop himself as he realizes he needs to talk to someone cause he has very no healthy#feelings about himself and Jimmy and the situation and the whole scenerio is defined by him being scared to do the same things that Jimmy#does and just trying to accept that Jimmy was never there for him and he was there for him too much and trying really hard to do right by#everyone else but espcially Anya who'd he have more guilt about than Jimmy obvi but how much of it is him taking responsibility for Jimmy v#the already extreme guilt of not knowing if his crew will get out alive is debatable like he'd want to kill himself but not think he's#deserving and its just him being like okay guys captain curly's got this and then crying while he locks himself in the cockpit#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#jimmy mouthwashing
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Okay we have considered the concept of Apollo getting a CHB bead once he becomes a god again but what if it doesn't stop there. What if year after year the campers keep giving him beads and he keeps adding them to his necklace until there comes a point where he looks like this
#maybe they give it to him as some form of offering?#and he wears them all. every single one of them#so whenever he steps into a room there's a *cling cling cling* from the beads hitting each other announcing his presence#like a cat with a bell#trials of apollo#toa#apollo#lester papadopoulos#pjo#percy jackson#lonely thoughts#chiron: don't you think that's too much#apollo with 50 years worth of beads on his arms and neck: 🧍🏻♀️
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*grips your shoulders* an eight year old is not gonna act like that. put the pen down. close the laptop. stop writing for a minute. volunteer at a daycare center for a week or smth. an eight year old is typically (unless they're purposely doing it, but at that point you'll be able to tell) not going to speak in one word sentences. that is a child with a possible developmental delay and should probably get an assessment done. that is a two year old with an MLU score of 2.0 who is struggling with their present possessive verbs. look up the average heights of an eight year old because i promise they're bigger than that.
if your six year old is still doing reduplicated babbling and it's not clearly an on purpose active play decision, then they should probably (re: REALLY) undergo evaluation because one of the first signs of a developmental delay is delayed speech. children begin speaking in two word utterances as young as 18 months old. three year olds on average can hold simple conversations with adults. four year olds absoLUTELy can.
i know it's super fun to write children as being dependent and clingy to their parent for your super fluffy found family child fic but that is not a six year old that is a worryingly large two year old with a mild speech delay. you don't have to be 1:1 accurate, god knows i'm not but please at least know that children on average are capable of holding simple conversations by the time they're 4, and are usually doing the baby talk stuff to be cute or as a play thing. which isn't a bad thing but if they're talking like that unironically and ALL the time, then there is likely a problem in their development.
#*wails melodramatically*#starry rambles#starry is an early education major and daycare teacher and is showing off that knowledge.#its not that deep i just get really passionate about child development because its my special interest and what im in college for#and now reading kidfics is that much harder because of it.#*points at the in-fic seven year old unironically behaving the same way as a 9 month old* THAT CHILD NEEDS AN EVALUATION STAT.#like iM GUILTY TOO. IM GUILT OF INFANTILIZING KIDS IN KIDFICS BUT ALSO. EVERY TIME I SEE IT HAPPEN MY TEETH ITCH#AND I FEEL AN INTENSE URGE TO INFODUMP. BUT THAT'D BE RUDE TO THE FIC AUTHOR SO IM MAKING MY OWN POST ABOUT IT#its not that deep and its not that serious i just wanted to infodump
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Starting off the new year with I think the most background heavy piece I've ever made! I think Rainwings and Nightwings would celebrate their traditional holidays together after the events of The brightest night. So this drawing is meant to show their cultures kind of blending together during a very joyful time. I remember talking about this concept with someone on tumblr a year ago but when I went back through my posts I couldn't for the life of me find it - so if your reading this, I remember you and this drawing stems from that conversation so thank you!
Close-ups:
#They are celebrating the brightest night that's why there's so much moon symbolism in the decorations#I hope I translated my thoughts well enough so you can get the vibe of their celebration#I was split between drawing a tree glows from the lights that were hung up upon it#or a night rave with neon lights#because I think those two situations would result from blending nightwing and rainwing cultures together#also I wanted to show this like organised chaos of the different decoration styles of both rainwings and nightwings on the tree#Moon and Kinkajou are there too!#also you don't see the spearmaster looking nightwing#it just kind of came out looking like them? by accident#continuing my weird obsession with drawing giant trees I have to draw one every year so I might as well just check that now#wings of fire#wof#nighwing#rainwing#moonwatcher wof#kinkajou wof#dragon#art#cinnamon's doodles
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halloween on a workday
#robinaa doodle#submas#subway boss ingo#subway boss emmet#nobori#kudari#every year i plan to draw more for halloween and every year i don't#i spent too much time watching horror movies and games again WHOOPS
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doing chibi is a good design exercise bc it forces u to think on shapes n essential details, essentially thumbnailing ur designs. its also a terrible design exercise bc it ends up looking cute no matter what
#dimension 20#fantasy high#riz gukgak#very specifically class swap bard!riz#fh class quangle#mm. I may need tags for all the asides Ive been doing lmao#riz's canon design is so coherent and thematically clean that I genuinely struggle to keep up...#bard!riz's whole thing is working out his identity through abject fear so it kiiiinda makes sense that hes got a different thing going#on every year I guess? like lmao the directive I go into each of these designs with changes vastly#freshman bard!riz has to look extremely nonthreatening. and also make you wanna pick him up and chuck him at a wall#annoyingly inoffensive. slides off your memory pretty much immediately. a void of an experience#crucially Does Not Show Teeth While Smiling#sophomore year bard!riz I have been keeping the like. cameraman direction for#I want him to be swimming in clothes a little bit... he kinda lands at like. 80s/90s shlocky horror protag too which I do like#bc what is season 2 to riz if not a horror story lmao#junior year bard!riz I want to be somewhere between clark kent and tintin#the journalist aesthetics is not so clear and easy to build as the detective or spy aesthetics...#but also I just. really like boy journalist lmao this is the BD blood speaking again#and! I actually do draw his hair differently than in my canon junior year riz stuff. its a bit shorter here so it doesn't#obscure as much of his face#its so funny actually going from drawing canon stuff to class swap esp. with riz bc he's smiling SO much here#and it's 100% trained like its crucial for u guys to know he is equally if not more fucked up as a bard#barely anybody can wrangle him in canon it's already been mostly him keeping himself on track. imagine if he actually learned how to act#mmm. I think these designs are still gonna soft change as I draw them. thats fine we have fun#drawing sophomore year bard!riz for those comiclets was fun as hell. I think on this factor alone I call it a success lol
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DAY 101 (103): do it for Them
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isat spoilers#artfight#oh my gyooood i hate drawing lightning. swagever#sorry loop for using your possessed face but i think of this stupid meme every time i see it#i'm actually soooo pissed off about the themes this year. because seafoam is true to my aesthetic to my Thing to my Me#but........for loop..............................#i'm on team stardust idk i might switch teams at some point. whatevar#anyways i might go light on posting this month for artfight. i didnt really plan for day 100 to line up with the start of artfight#but it works out i guess !#my plan for a while was to stop altogether at day 100 but i've had too much fun to stop now. but i really do need a break#i havent drawn characters who are not loop or sometimes siffrin in so long. lol#anyways this day marking system is stupid but i couldn't think of anything better sooooooo. swagever once more
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happy 15 years of dan and phil!
#*#DPGPhanniversary#dpgdaily#phan#dan and phil#this is every year btw also this is suppose to be a rainbow bc theyre gay but it sucks pslkjhgfdsfghj#i hope yall like uhhhh im not going to get too sappy about them i talk all the time how i started watching them in 2012 and never stopped#i think i made a post on here about how my life back in 2012 had two paths and one was one direction and the other was phannie#and while i did choose to go crazy over one direction i was still a background phannie lol#and honestly the last year ive spent on here giving it a go has been so much fun i wish i started sooner but im glad i did when i did!!#ive made so many amazing friends and talked to so many funny and amazing and truly talented people!!!#being a phannie has been the best decision ive made and it's all thanks to the community for welcoming me with open arms#i cant wait to meet them and yall in a few days im so excited#okay sap over now to spam the tl 😈😈😈
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I met the me who made different choices
#idk what this means so dont ask#got the words stuck in my head and this is what I wanted to draw for it immediately#me at my desk. so.#I dont look exactly like this obviously. doesnt matter. anyways#hard time recently in a lot of different ways#lots of work to do!#given up on getting everything done I kind of failed at that. it was too much#so now I'm just trying to get anything done that will make the next 6 months not kill me again#ideally. 3 episodes. or the book#or like at least close enough to that that its basically that#I'm feeling really screwed LOL#I dont know how I've been working every day for so long and still havent done enough...#(its because the work load is way too much)#every time I take 1 hour for myself. to cook. or clean. or draw something else. or play a game. I feel so guilty auauau#I hate webtoon I hate this damn green app...#DOESNT MATTER!!!#what DOES matter is my art is good as hell... look at this shit...#the light. the colors. I love you red I love you green#I need to get more red pants I only have the one pair.#I saw this guy with red pants that had skeleton legs on them and I was like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!! I need them!!!!#I need to start sewing again. I dont have a sewing machine cause my apartment is too small so I havent sewn in years but I really want to..#I want to make clothes again... I need some vests I need some dresses..#I will not make pants or sleeved shirts because I dont hate myself#sketch#art#vent art I guess LMFAO its not#its just this fun little thing we like to call self expression#also this isnt how my desk setup actually is I scooted things around cause I didnt wanna draw anything twice. fuck it we ball#ok back to work
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