#every single day... i just wish that i could be with them more and more. this wish never calms down it just gets bigger
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30 More Fluff Prompts
So my friend gave me the brilliant/horrible idea to make some fluff prompts based off actual dumb shit I've done/had happen to me. So here they are I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
These ones weren't pre-written with just myself in mind, so they actually use the proper 'person A/B' format for prompts. First fluff prompt list can be found >>here<<
If you use one of these, please tag me so I can seeee~˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
(18+), MDNI, NSFW and actual cavity inducing content below the cut ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
Person A calls person B for their lunch break everyday. And I mean every single day. Person A says B's call and voice is what even allows them to get through the day.
Person A starts calling person B during their lunch break everyday. Person A's coworkers, who they USED to hang out with during lunch, are all super interested in this new supposed paramour. They start gossiping, theorizing, as well as hustling person A trying to get information about person B like its high school. 🌸Bonus points if this is a bunch of old/middle aged/super jacked men doing this
Person A and B have been online friends/dating/"just flirting"™ for months now. They finally decide to meet up in person. When they do, they both are super awkward and tense at first before quickly loosening up and having a blast by the end of the night like they are old pals.
Person A has person B and C accompanying them. B and C have been trying to get A's attention and quickly start competing against each other. B and C get so caught up in trying to one up each other that they completely don't notice person D just calmly walk up to A, ask them out, and whisk A away while they are arguing.
Person A says that they want to accompany person B to all their doctor's appointments and actually insists on it. When B asks them why, person A says its because they are their partner so they want to be there to support them, especially in case something goes wrong.
Person A tells person B that they have something super important to tell them and to let them know when they can talk about it. Person B, all panicked, asks what it is. Person A, with a completely straight face, just says "I love you". 🌸Bonus dialogue: 🌸*after a long pause* Person B: Wa-was that it?? 🌸Person A, now snickering: What do you mean? Is my LOVE not important to you?
Person A is an artist that knows how to write in a language person B does not. Person A frequently doodles faux tattoos on B, but B doesn't know that the symbols A draws on them are actually messages of love.
Person A and B are sitting next to eachother, fingers intertwined, and lovingly staring into eachothers eyes. They both go in for a kiss. Person B scooches closer and puts their leg in A's lap... only to get jabbed by A's raging hard-on. Person A pulls away from the kiss with an annoyed sigh and says, "I'm sorry, this happens everytime I look at you."
Person A goes up to person B's hotel room with the intention of having sex. However, when person A jumps onto B's lap and starts sweetly kissing them, B absolutely melts from the affection and asks if they can just kiss and cuddle instead.
Person A wakes up next to person B and starts to gently kiss them awake. Person B eventually goes, "I wish I could wake up every morning like this..."
Person A and B are in a long distance relationship. Person A frequently says the words "can I see you?" to B. Which means they want a candid photo of B, right then, in the moment. It doesn't matter what stupid stuff B is doing, or how garbage they feel, A always gushes over how beautiful B is when they send a picture.
Person A is on the phone with person B. A child person A is with (they can be babysitting or it can be their own child, whatever) suddenly shouts, "Are you on the phone with your wife?". Person B starts dying of laughter while person A is just completely shocked like, "M-my wife??" 🌸Bonus dialogue: 🌸Person A: We are not married we are just dating. 🌸Child: But you love them right? 🌸Person A: Yeah? 🌸Child: And you would do anything for them right? 🌸Person A: Yeah...? 🌸Child: THAT MEANS YA MARRIED.
Person A constantly tells everyone how amazing their partner, person B is. Its to the point that person A has now started carrying around pictures of B just so they can brag about them.
Person A told their parent(s) about how deeply they are in love with person B. So now said parent(s) are desperately trying to meet/get to know person B much to A's dismay. B has no idea what is going on.
Person A suddenly texts/calls person B and starts trying desperately to make plans at some point later in the day for them to meet up. Person B keeps shooting down all of A's ideas saying they will be busy during that time or other reasons why the idea won't work. Until person A finally breaks down and says, "look. I just... really want to see you."
Person A is totally lost. Person B finds them and knows immediately they are lost because they are just that pathetic/confused looking. When person A asks person B for directions, B is like 'Ill just show you where to go so you don't get lost again'. B grabs A's hand and leads them to their destination holding hands so they don't lose them.
Person A and B haven't seen eachother in awhile. When they finally see eachother again, they both go in for a big hug. Person A sighs and mumbles "god I missed your hugs". There is then an awkward pause before Person A nervously asks, "...did I say that outloud?"
Person A is hanging out in a mall with some friends when suddenly person B walks up and gives person A a big hug from behind. Person A is confused at first, but is then shocked when they turn around and see person B, someone who they haven't seen in years.
Person A is walking past some stores when suddenly they hear their name shouted from behind them. They turn around to see person B, their best friend from years ago. Person B is wearing the uniform of one of the shops A passed, so B was clearly working and ran out when they saw A. They both run at eachother into an embrace like its a tv show.
Person A and B start a movie/tv show marathon together. At the start, they are practically on opposite sides of the couch. But they keep slowly getting closer and closer as the marathon goes on. Until by the end, they are firmly snuggled into each other.
Dialogue Prompts
"I'm sorry if I was rude when we first met. You were just so pretty I couldn't look at you in the eyes."
Person A: I love you. Person B: *gasps* I love you!! I've been wanting to say that but I didn't want to scare you…
"Honestly? I would be happy if I just got to come home from work everyday to you and a kiss."
"Coming home to you everyday would make everything worth it."
"I never really believed in the whole soulmate thing until I met you. There... isn't really another way to explain how perfect everything came together."
Person A: So, um... Would you be okay if we cuddle? Person B: *immediately scooches over* Yesplease.
Person A: Do you really have to go? Person B: Sweetie. We have been cuddling for 4 hours.
"Look. I don't mind sharing a bed. But I do demand cuddles as payment."
Person A, panicking and running their sentences together: I-I totally understand if your uncomfortable with me sleeping in the bed. I can just sleep on the floor, it's fine-OR I can sleep on the couch- Person B: *slow frog blink* …I'm fine with you sleeping in the bed, dumb-dumb.
Person A: Your couch is like... mega uncomfortable. Can I just like- share the bed with you? Person B: Seriously??!
#one bed trope#dialogue prompt#dialogue starters#dialogue inspiration#dialogue ideas#writing prompt#prompts#story prompts#writing ideas#writing inspiration#suggestive prompts#prompt list#fanfiction prompts#writing prompts#otp prompts#story prompt#fic prompt#imagine your otp#fake scenarios#fake scenes#romance prompts#writing scenarios#writing scenes#fluff#fluff prompts#fluff prompt#fluff starter#fluffy prompts#fluff imagine#fluff prompt list
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ok i have avoided talking abt my datv thoughts but now ive finished and slept on it here it is. this is huge btw and really just a way to process my thoughts for my own peace of mind. and get out what i need to say. so yeah word salad below
2 disclaimers before i start. firstly i think im going to be SUPER blunt and clear about my thoughts on this post but then i will mostly be putting the matter to bed in my heart bc i am not someone who delights in being a hater nor do i take comfort in it. i will take from this the things i enjoyed and keep my distance from the rest. second disclaimer: ultimately i think i will still enjoy being a part of the fandom and seeing other people enjoy the game, because it will endear it to me and maybe take away the pain im feeling right now, so this isnt a long rant to make you feel bad about enjoying the game if you do like it! in fact quite the opposite. it comforts me that there are people who find value in the game and i hope in watching you play it i may be able to eventually be able to say the same
that being said . obviously i didnt like the game
which is an extremely difficult thing for me to say. i went into this game thinking "i will at the VERY least enjoy the game. not love it but at least like it. but im sure ill love it". it really is quite distressing for me that it didnt even really reach that bar for the most part. i TRIED to like it. i begged this game to give me ANY handhold at all that i could cling to, to forgive and like this game. i think the things i liked err more on the technical side. the graphics i loved, the character DESIGN was *fantastic*. the art. the pacing. the vague vision of what they were obviously nebulously aiming for. and honestly, i mostly enjoyed the main plot although i wish it had been more disciplined and constrained with the lore it was trying to expand on. act 3 was fantastic and naturally i am happy and fulfilled for the most part by the conclusion of solas's story, who i still believe was and is the best written "villain" of dragon age. sorry logang and meredith nation but i do still stand by this.
but thats really about it. as a disclaimer i am not an origins puritan or a da2 diehard or anything like that. i have loved (almost equally) EVERY single iteration of dragon age which has been released. i am one of the few people who sees equal value in inquisition and origins. i love them both so deeply. i couldnt pick between them.
for me what i love the MOST about dragon age - and which every single previous game has always nailed despite other flaws - is the characters. right under that is the world's capacity for introspection. and unfortunately nothing in this game provided that for me
regarding the characters: i do not care about a single one of them unfortunately. or at least i do not CARE about them the way that i have CARED about the other previous games companions. companions i would write banter about !!! just for fun when i was bored!!!! i would say my only exception is harding, but even then i care about her only because i care about her due to inquisition. overall i just found them all so ..... shallow. and devoid of any of the conflict or nuance or ethical quandries that make biowares stories so compelling - and sure, usually controversial! i would give ANYTHING for this game to have been controversial. for a unforgivable RO, or a problematic fave, or a cancelled wife. did bioware forget that their most beloved or at least enjoyed characters are people like anders, merrill, mordin solus, blackwall, sten, loghain, SOLAS??? i dont understand HOW they could have forgotten that, because solas is literally right there in game and handled (in my opinion as a fan) well. love him or hate him or dont care about him, he is such a hallmark of great bioware writing (in dai if nothing else) - characters who are not EASY to like. characters who are not SAFE to write and who WILL generate criticism from all sides because they are written boldly and unapologetically, strengthened by a foundation of consistent ideals, clear objectives and beautiful faults. characters that do not NEED you to like them, but instead invite you to engage with them critically. solas, even to someone who hates him, is nuanced and morally complex enough to muse and fight over for 10 whole years. hes IN this game, just as ethically murky as ever, but the morally grey hallmark of biowares writing really does kind of live and die with him alone. the rest of the companions feel like they barely made it out of their concept phase. what are lucanis's flaws??? genuinely asking. other than being a murderer who exists in an organization which buys and trains literal child slaves of course, but i'll get to that in a sec (because bioware sure as fuck didnt). um, i guess you could say hes broody?? and emmrich too. what actual flaws does he have?? he has a fear of death, as we're TOLD, but it does not really reflect in the overall convesations we have with him over the course of the game. mostly hes just.... a little bumbling i guess. bellara's flaw is being a scatterbrain. harding's is that shes..... angry??? but shes not???? fucking come on. i really felt the lack of actually being able to TALK to these people at the end of act 2, when i realized i still felt like i havent really MET any of them. and yet here rook is talking about found family and being a team. ok
and then there are the romances. which from my perspective - having romanced taash - and my friends who have romanced lucanis, neve and davrin..... WHAT romances. davrin's full romance is 20 minutes in a 30 PLUS HOUR GAME. solas had the least amount of content out of any companion in inquisition and was a last minute unintentional RO and still had like easily 50 minutes of content. so why did these romances feel like nothing. actually nothing. i was so excited for taash, but their romance straight up felt like neither rook nor taash even wanted to be there. i forgot they were technically together at certain points. zero chemistry. zero intimacy. all TELLING zero SHOWING. if you had told me that i would be saying these sorts of things about a writer like trick weekes a month ago i would call you fucking crazy to your face. i cannot reconcile that taash was written by the same person who wrote solas. i cannot reconcile that mary kirby - who wrote the fucking chant of light - wrote lucanis. its so dire. its devastating actually.
lastly i want to talk about my other point - bioware's famed emphasis on introspection and ethically quandries. again, i'm genuinely experiencing a sense of profound whiplash because when it comes solas's character you can still see it. its still there. they actually doubled down on making him worse than he was in trespasser which i LOVED and thought was so incredibly promising. they could have caved to solavellan fans and uwu-ified him but they didnt. thats great.
but where was that energy for literally anything else. everything has been defanged - even minrathous, the capital of the tevinter slave trade, does not even ADDRESS the elephant in the room of slavery. and i know because i played a shadow dragon. so tell me why i as a shadow dragon am happily allied with the crows, who solely exist to assassinate politicians and BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES. THEY BUY SLAVES AS CHILDREN AND TRAIN/TORTURE THEM TO MURDER. HELLO??????????? there is no commentary made about the mages/templars. there is no discussion of the treatment of the elves in the north or Anywhere. there is no discussion of why exactly blood magic is or isnt acceptable - they simply tell us its bad. all the theories of the last 10 years were answered with handwaved comments or bare bones codex entries that honestly stripped so much nuance away from so many things (the blight, my BELOVED) that i dont know how im going to go about fixing it or making it right in my head. the introspective nature of dragon age always went hand in hand with player choice, but there really WAS no choice in this game as so there IS no real capacity for other interpretations or schools of thought. it is so..........................bleak.
i think the thing that finally made it click in my head that this game had fundamentally let me down was the gloom howler quest. and i know im not alone on this. for those of you who dont know - the gloom howler, "isseya" was the protagonist of the dragon age novel "the last flight". i would HIGHLY recommend you read it, especially if you're an origins fan. super bleak, super political, not flashy at all in terms of magic. it was set 500 years pre origins, during the 3rd blight. isseya is very similar to characters like loghain and solas in a way - a richly complex, beautifully intricate, terribly thought provoking character who did HORRIFIC things for the most NOBLE reason you could imagine, under the most traumatic of circumstances. im tearing up just thinking about her story, and how the title "the LAST flight" foreshadowed that her story had a definitive, bittersweet, finite and peaceful ending.
and then this game did THAT to her. turned her into a grotesque caricature of what she was. stripping her of her nuance and her capacity for atonement or forgiveness. and once again, i do not fucking get it. she was obviously brought back because she is a parallel to the solas dilemma. so WHY is she not afforded the same opportunity for empathy that he is. why is bellara's brother not either. its insane. its literally insane. i cannot begin to imagine the oversight or laziness or WHATEVER IT WAS that occured to have this game turn out this way.
there are innumerable other problems with the game that im not going to get into because what ive said above is the main crux of my problem. introspective and character. those are all i really wanted from this game, and like..... i thought we would get that. because the game centered around solas. and i know people dislike his fans for very fair reasons, but i hope those who know me know that i enjoy him not because hes hot (he is though) but because he is terrible. i love him because they made a character who was TERRIBLE, and then gave you the task of using your head and refelcting on your own morality and values and deciding and arguing and meditating over whether he is worth loving anyway. to me, solas is the person i point to when i want to describe why i love dragon age. its complicated, its nuanced, it is terrible and wonderful and everything in between depending on the angle you look at it from. and so having the writer of a character like THAT in charge of the whole game filled me with hope and dissuaded so many of my fears for this game. but i was wrong apparently.
so now im left with a feeling akin to survivors guilt. genuinely. because at the VERY least, despite me saying all of these negative things, i at least finished the game crying happy tears and being overjoyed that my favourite character was handled well and got an ending i enjoyed. and yet that happiness *i* got to feel and that glimmer of good writing was paid for at the expense of literally everything else. i feel almost personally responsible in a way, which sucks. im sorry to all the people who did not enjoy or care about solas, im sorry that you really did get nothing out of this game. i hope we can all be comforted by the trilogy we have and will always have, and i hope we can all take what good parts we enjoyed out of veilguard and make peace with the rest
leaving this youtube comment my friend sent me which is unfortunately a summary of how i feel about the game as a whole.
#tay plays datv#datv#datv spoilers#datv critical#nobody needs to read this but fgdjkfgjk if you do#i hope it is clear that i write from a perspective of profound love for this series and all its characters.
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I've got you
Clone OC Banshee × GN-Reader
Word Count: 727
Prompt: "back hugs" from @littlemissmanga and "comfort fic for nonverbal reader" from @nika6q
Song: Get You The Moon by Kina (feat. Snøw)
Rating: PG, but as always Minors DNI 🔞
Contents and Warnings: hurt/comfort, light swearing, Banshee kicks a door down in the name of love.
Summary: It's been a long time since Banshee's been home, and the stress of life has you overwhelmed at the worst possible time: right when Banshee gets home.
Author's Notes: another Banshee POV!!! Some hurt/comfort this day. Sorry it's so short, and not at all what I've been saying I'd write next, but at least it's something.
Taglist: @returnofthepineapple @wizardofrozz @eclec-tech @dystopicjumpsuit @clonethirstingisreal @wings-and-beskar @multi-fan-dom-madness @starrylothcat @n0vqni @sev-on-kamino @mythical-illustrator @523rdrebel @littlemissmanga @atomickidsoul @moonwreckd
"Hey Ban~ Today is day 43 of our tragic separation, you're millions of miles away, and it's not fair. So today at work..."
"Day 55 of "No Banshee hugs for me". Seriously, when are you coming home? I miss you. Anyway, my Tooka came back from the vet today- oh right, I adopted a tooka kitten yesterday, I bet you can't guess what I named him-"
"Day 97, Rai told me you miss me. I just... I wish I could hear it from you. I know, I know it's not easy, I know you don't talk, I just-- I'd do anything to have you with me, just so I could understand that you miss me..."
"Day 122... I wish you'd come home..."
I've been listening to your recordings every day since I was deployed. All 132 of them. Every single day since we left, you sent me a diary of your day, stars I can't tell you how much I needed every single one of those. Running through battle fire, hearing you laugh about what "Banbino" was doing. I can't believe you named your tooka after me.
I've thought about you every second of the days. How your hair is tossed in the morning, how you scrunch your nose at how I make Caf... don't be mad, but I still haven't learned how to make it proper. The way your voice sounds and feels when you put my hands on your throat and chest, so I can feel every way you say you love me... I've thought about being with you again since the second I turned to leave 132 days ago.
So why am I stuck behind your front door? I can't even raise my hand to knock. Can't even enter the code to your flat... it's my number, you told me that so long ago now... I've been keeping track, I know it's your day off, I know you're just right behind this damn door so why can't I open it!? Come on Banshee! Open the door! Open the damn door, they're right on the other side, just open--
I... I heard that. Did you fall? Are you hurt? No, no don't be hurt I'm so bad at medical. C'mon, karkin' door open! Remind me to fix your locks, I'll replace them, I swear. Oh fuck, the hinges too, I uh... I kicked a little too hard, I think...
"Ban...?" You're crying... why... why are you crying?
When you hold your arms out to me, I dont even take a full step forward before you recoil and cover your face with a racking sob. I don't stop moving. I can't, you need me. I get to one knee behind you and gently rub your back, but it only makes you curl in on yourself more... what can I do for you?
Carefully I sit behind you, and collect you up in my arms, your back pressed to my chest. With my helmet off, I put my head on your shoulder, "I've got you, Cyare... I'm here."
You sound like me a moment, trying to talk, trying to force words. I shush you, leaning my head on yours and swaying softly. Eventually, you turn around, and bury your face in my neck. When I hum, you start to relax in my arms, and eventually, I can't help the little chuckle in my throat. You're snoring... Stars I love you.
It's another hour before you wake up. I moved us to your bed, and had since changed into the civvies you'd gotten me. Softer clothes, I figured you'd like it more than my hard armor...
"Banshee? You're... you're really home? I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry for-- I-I was just- I was so--" your blush when I press my lips to yours, it's so warm I could feel it on my own skin.
"I... it's okay, y-you don't ha-have to expl-pl-plain." Your eyes shine at the sound of my voice... I wish I could talk better, I'd speak for you all the time. "I've g-got you, Cyare."
You nod and set your head back on my chest. As I hum again, you join in, mumbling the words under your breath when you feel up to it. Take your time, Cyare. I know how hard it is to talk, I'm not going anywhere.
#from the archivist#grave squad clones#404th clones#clone oc banshee#clone oc banshee x reader#banshee x reader#banshee x you#oc x you#clone oc x reader#oc x reader
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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gals & colors..
#spider man: across the spider verse#spider punk#spider noir#hobie brown#noirpunk#spiderdykes#hair directly inspired by @hilode2 on twitter (found em on pinterest lol)#just looks so much more like hobie. fuckin jealous#pretend like i know how to draw kissing#i just think theyr neat#every single flavor of noirpunk i draw is trans btw. all of them#i love trans people……..#also ace. that too#every day i think im getting closer to drawing hobie right#every day i stray further from god#its ok hobie would be proud of me for trying. probably. maybe#great now im doubting myself#yall dont know how many posts i wish i could delete lol#mmmmanyway#enjoy spider girlfriends
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no you don’t understand. if i watch the last ep of we are, that means it’s the last time tan and fang will be on my screen, and i honestly don’t think i can continue living after that
#like you really don’t understand#as an aouboom stan from the first moments of a possible ship in viceversa#like look at my icon I literally made it my everything#having to go through all these side couple characters that just didn’t hit right#to finally get tan and fang#it wasn’t just a blessing it was like the fates aligned and every single wish I’ve ever made came true#it was more perfect than I could’ve ever imagined#like aouboom just are these characters for me#and as much as I can’t wait to see them in more stuff and hope for a main role show for them#in some way it just won’t ever match what tan and fang is#aou and boom fit these characters so perfectly they play them so well and the dynamic is both my personal favourite thing ever and also just#so perfect like I could write for days just trying to convey how every seemingly unimportant detail of this dynamic makes it pure perfection#I JUST DONT WANNA GIVE THEM UP#I CANT LET GO#give me the tanfang soap opera where I just watch every week of their life in all its mundane yet beautiful glory#I would tune in every week until the end of days#we are#tanfang#aouboom
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all the bad dreams that you hide / show me yours, i'll show you mine
#my art#do not copy trace or steal#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#hunger games#the hunger games#thg#im still working on drawing people which adds to my nervousness x_x i wish i could be as confident as i am drawing animals#BUT YEAH IM SO NORMAL ABT THEM. I.#i literally have not gone a single day where i havent talked about them and im literally having to give myself limits on how much i can#read the books bc i literally went out to get a new library card JUST to do that#i literally cant believe when i was a kid i didnt like them as a couple .#i just couldnt appreciate the fake dating trope and i also took it very literally . and i was also like ten#ive had this ready to go but when i say ive had my mouse hovering over the post now button for a while i mean that so sincerely#PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES i try not to overwhelm my sister but#i am very aware i am way more into thg than she is and we watched the movies together#ive been sending her literally every single video abt thg thinking she will enjoy it as much as i will and im probably driving her up#a wall AHBKJAHBHDFJGBKJDHBGG but its fine she expects nothing less#i have to get used to posting non cat art non warrior cat art#you can tell im stalling . just a little bit
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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Do you have someone you talk to everyday? Except family
anon why are you trying to give me an existential crisis in the middle of the day:') also. bold of you to assume i talk to my family every day jsfhdkjghjk
#EVERY day every day? idts. i do not talk to my college friends at ALL when im home over the weekends#except rarely when they text me about assignments#but i guess i talk to them every day during the working week cause i meet them every day#i guess i talk to certain mutuals pretty much every day. i think ive talked to phobicule almost every day this week#shoutout to hana and rafaela i think the past couple months ive been talking to them pretty much every day#i USED to have someone id talk to every single day even when we hadnt lived in the same city since elementary school but#that's a different story. she sucks#and i dont think we've been friends let alone best friends in like eight months now#and there were a couple of other people id talk to every day and we still do talk and i still love them as much obviously#but im just constantly drained and overworked so not EVERY day#and there are some people i wish i could talk to more but somehow have even less time and energy than i do#but i dont think we're any less close than we used to be because of that. life's just hectic we're still a call away#anon (derogatory)#<- sorry:')#im assuming you saw my college post and i dont really get why youd send this lol
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❄️🐇❕
#i feel like im going insane and tonight it's esp bad so i need to.... vent :$#some time ago i had the fortune of a very very wonderful person entering my life. and since day one BOOM i think of them every single day#im not even exaggerating.. like every single day i just think and daydream of them. i've had sm extra inabiloty to focus -#bc i just need to constantly stop and think of them.....#there is so much abt them to adore and admire. so much!!!! i didnt know someone like them could exist..#i love talking to them and i just wanna kno everything there is to know abt them!!! everything regarding interests me#there's also the aspect of how i feel talking to them. i know they dont judge the same way as other ppl do so it's easier to talk to them#tho i still have avpd so i often start over explaining myself and get insecure etc etc. i need to get out of my head!!!!#idk.. idk... it has never been like this for me. so im also scared#what do i do.. how do i navigate this? i've never been here before and i feel lost even if it's def not a bad place to be in#every single day... i just wish that i could be with them more and more. this wish never calms down it just gets bigger#but. how? how do i break this loop and make it into reality? is it only gonna stay as a desire and a daydream? :(( i rlly dont want that#im scared too. bc what if i want and can make it my reality but it just wont happen? what if it just wont#im also not the only one in this equation that decides. what if... i have to face rejection.. what if im a disappointment. what if what if#i dont know!! i only know that i think of them all day every day. it gets more nd more intense each day.#i also get more sure that it's what i want...#anywayyyy. im actually.. driving myself insane with how obsessively i think of this#i cant quite put it into words but i had to get at least some of it off my chest#like how. do i express my feelings to them. how do i turn it into reality. how do i face that fear of the unknown and smth i've never done#but also how do i face that fear and prepare for the fact that even if i want smth dreams made into reality cant be certain.#there r so many life things that decide what happens too.... not just my will and desire#but as well as.. how do i prqepare myself to deal with the potential oh whoops maybe im the only one who rlly want this.#maybe this is onesided maybe my feelings just flew out of control nd idk how to reel them back in whoops.#like i dont know at all what could happen.. all i know is what i wish.. hmm gosh this is all just making my head spin every day.
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Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️
#my 14 year old self is crying tears of joy rn#I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other#for *years* I thought I'd never see them again (aside very few scattered reuploads)#granted my interests changed and I was occupied with other things#but every once in a while I was wishing I could just watch at least my nr 1 favourite video of them just one more time#but NOW I found out that someone salvaged basically the entire channel and just - put the videos up for downloading?!#it feels so unreal because after all this time I can just watch them again? as often as I want?! and they're mine to keep forever?!! ahhhh#I'm getting unreasonably emotional over this but that channel genuinely meant a lot to me at the time#I still remember that I was on the school bus home when I discovered it was gone#and I swear if I hadn't been in a public setting I'd legit have cried over it. it certainly ruined an otherwise really nice day for me#granted my 14y/o self probably had a bit of a dumb sense of humour (harmless. but dumb. what do you expect from a 14y/o?)#(hence I'm also hesitant to mention the channel name bc I'm not sure if I'm ready to potentially embarrass myself)#but I still feel an odd fondness looking back because I know how much those videos meant to her <3#especially my one favourite video which 1. was the sole reason I discovered one of my favourite tv shows ever#and 2. was probably the spark that really ignited my initial interest in animation and digital arts#bc for the first time I consciously realised that you can actually do cool and fun stuff even as just one single person#and that you don't need an entire animation team to just - express yourself creatively and bring your ideas to life#like I'm not even joking when I say if it wasn't for that channel I might have ended up in an entirely different education/career path#anyway I'm happy. but I'll stop now. oh gods I'm abusing the tags again instead of just writing all that *into* the actual post#internet archive#personal#selnia talks
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In heteronormative narrations a single-female-friend character is most often depicted as a threat for the couple/marriage. Threat for the girl that is. Like: beware, this bitch is single! so "obviously" her main goal is to steal your guy because, you know, she's a desperate selfish erotically-starving bitch...
Well, I can't speak for other single ladies but in the most couples I know - if I were to brake the relationship I'd rather run away with the girl🤷
#I'm aro and ace. but girls are just funnier#I like my male cousins but honestly? every each one of them I would give away for his wife#my cousins' wives are not ''related'' to me and yet they all feel more like family to me than my male cousins ever did#not to mention I secretly wish my best friend could finally break free from the toxic relationship#that she have with her lazy underappreciating partner#maybe then we could meet more often... or even live closer to each other again#I certainly don't hate guys! though if having one on my own - for the most part of the day I would not know what to do with him🤔#unless he would be enormously talkative. like an average girl😜#relationship goals#single#aroace#aromantic#asexual#heteronormativity#amatonormativity#relationship#''why would I want your man? I don't know why you want your man''#EDIT: okey there's also my female-cousin's boyfriend. I love to talk with him#he's quite xenophobic conspiracy theories fan and YET he's intelligent enough to have a fascinating conversation with#but I also like to talk about movies with my best friend's boyfriend. even though I think she should get rid of him#no offence man - our shared interests don't change the fact that just don't deserve her at all👎
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The evil slow creep of it being like "haha these will just be quick little side quests, not much effort at all!" and then noticing each one is getting progressively longer than the last, thus no longer being minimal effort.. auGh....
#The jump of 76 for the first one to 275 for the most recent ghghjb#what can I say.. I am.. The Elaborator.. The Detail Giver..#number six will HAVE to be shorter....!!!!!! !!!!#I fear it's going to look this way but opposite with some of the main character quests. The first character I ever worked on. like their#first quest I added wayy to much information and detail and side options and etc.#Once I got done with all their stuff I was like.... if they're all like this I will NEVER finish.. So then I tried to be very short about#it all. EVERY single interaction cannot have 10 branching dialogue and 5 different endings and blah blah blah.. as much as I wish it could.#Hiring a butler to stand over me all day shouting ''NARROW the scope!!!! REDUCE the options!!! CUT the dialogue!!!'' whilst I sob#and hit backspace on everything once every five minutes#But that means probably the first character I worked on will be very obvious because their quests might have a different#feel than the others and be longer.. I just CAN'T make ALL of them that long. but maybe I could choose one..#Like out of the four characters that will have full quests for them upon release.. maybe I can add another one thats long so at least#TWO of them have weirdly long quests and the one first character doesnt seem so singled out lol#I hear this happens in real life professional games as well (like people complaining that X character doesnt have as much#content in an RPG as some other one does. etc.) so.. perhaps my fears about everyting not being exactlyliterally equal#are not even that worrisome or something that's a major factor. Still lol#It's not really that concerning to me anyways from a 'how will people react to it' perspective (very niche game. hardly anyone#will play it i'd assume. its not like thousands of people shall desscend upon me to criticize even if something was weird like that.#it'd be like. out of the 25 people who ever play it. maybe one of them is like 'yeah it was kinda weird that thosequests were so much#longer than the others. but idk' and that's the extent lol). My concern is more like.. Writing time..#the more I add. the longer it takes for me to finish. So if I keep ednlessly making things forever longer and longer. then it becomes The#Forever Project. which it kind of already is. considering I started it in 2018 and then forgot about it for the most part of 5 years and am#only resuming it now LOL.. I cannot bear to add MORE forever onto that which already is quite Forever-ish#If I wrote everything the ideal way I wish it were then I would either need a full team of writers. or I would finish the game in 2085#so.. alas.. cut cut snip snip..#ANYWAY lol
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I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness
#There’s this specific part of the song#It srsly alters my brain chemistry#Anyways#i hate tumblr sm#Idk like I Gen hate being on here sm#No matter what account I make no matter if I tell ppl about it whether I don’t tell ppl I just hate this place soooo much#Like if I have a following it sucks because it’s rlly lonely if I don’t it’s still lonely and then if there’s nobody at all it’s lonely#Loneliness is what got me to discord boy so like :D#The fact I am genuinely missing him sm I’m gonna krill myself 😻🙏#Also I think I hate talking to minors cause these kids be letting themselves get groomed all the time I’m so tired of seeing it#The creep in my course is being so weird to Raisa who is a minor … I can’t help but think it’s all my fault … I invited her to the pharm gc#To show her how messy it was ….#I didn’t expect her to follow and accept requests of everyone …#Anyways I just am so annoyed. Like I wish I could have one person just one where I can be confident in being their no.1 but every time I th#Think I’m maybe somewhere high up on someone’s list of important ppl I realise I overestimated my position even tho I’m rlly self conscious#And being myself down over that. Also I still hate Eid. I hate Eid sm. How do ppl genuinely enjoy Eid. Idk if I’ve ever been excited for Ei#It’s like I’m just suddenly getting more sick of ppl by the day. I Gen don’t like talking to ppl at all even tho I used to rely on talking#To others like its sustenance now it’s just such a hassle to me because I’m so sick of being unimportant to literally every single person I#Have ever known. Literally everyone except maybe dahlia idk. the only person who has never gotten mad/snapped at me o is dahlia#And knowing my luck that will soon be taken from me too. Anyways good riddance to tumblr i loathe this site and im sick of the mind games#All the time from just existing on here. Gen makes me feel ill. I’m so sick of that girl I like and sick of everyone. The only time ppl car#Is when I cause a scene. And ykw atp I loathe being showed sympathy and pity for these sorts of posts because it just feels like a big joke#Cause why couldn’t you just care when I was fine. Why do you ONLY care when I’ve had enough of your bad behaviour. How does one make someon#Like me go mad with all these things#Istg if I come back to this dumb site whether to this acc to the tora one or my other account everyone has permission to beat me up.#dora daily#Tldr;I HATE ppl and everyone ever + I’m just sick of pretending like everyone doesn’t suck cause how can ppl be so insufferable intolerable#Insane horrible in every way and ppl like them. How do they live with themselves when they’re this aggravating. Every day I hate ppl more#Because their mannerisms their everything is just so embarrassing.#Essay tags 😻😻😻
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.
#tw vent#bad week.#running out of meds. can't get new ones til the fifteenth so i am off my antipsychotics and low on my antidepressants#which means that. literally anything will make me unable to function for the rest of the day#and it's not fair on anyone else because i get snappy and it's not their fault and i know it's not their fault and i'm not trying to snap#but i feel like can't modulate tone like this because i'm trying not to be upset about things i shouldn't be upset about#and it's nobody's fault but every single time it feels like the world is ending and i know it isn't which makes me feel worse#because what a stupid reaction#and i feel trapped in my own home because i literally cannot leave it#and it's like. i could fix this if my fucking body wasn't broken and i wish i didn't have to depend on people like this#and make them do stuff they don't want to do or make them go out of their way to do something for me when i want to be able to do it myself#normally i am more okay with this but. world ending time. everything just feels unbearable right now#my entire chest feels hollow and empty and it aches
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it does kinda feel like everything im in is dead. all the roleplays, all the games, its all kinda. just nothing. idk it just kinda feels bad
#and i know logically why most of these things are dead#but like thats not stopping my brain from being like 'ok but actually its not cause of everyone including you being busy'#'its because everyone Secretly Fucking Hates You :)' and i like 'would you stfu you stupid pile of tapioca'#but yeah i do kinda feel like ive been really annoying folks lately between like some really insane interests lately#everyone kinda falling out of the shaed interest at once leaving the group kinda>????#and like. every time a shared interest died so does the friendgroup but also like this friendgroup existed before the interest! it just#existed w/o me cause i was the added on member who kinda just kept tagging on and wouldnt fuck off#but i dont have like. any other friends atm so thats like. concerning? idk i feel really isolated lately#i wish i could contribute more to things but i just dont have the talents required most of the time and when i do i have some sort of#technical issue or time issue that prevents me from doing it#man idk i just wanna do things again but i dont wanna bother folks#and i wanna feel like im not bothering people when i focus on weird stuff cause like im deffo bothering people rn when i spam asks n shit#im deffo bothering people when im infodumping about 2b and radioactivity and tornados n shit too but like. man idk#maybe i should take a couple days maybe a week and like. kinda just do my own thing alone for a while#play some single player games n shit watch my documentary videos and not share weird facts from them
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