#I was able to recover videos of a yt channel that I used to follow as a teen but was closed by the owner from one day to the other

[lieutenantselnia]

Internet archive I love you❤️❤️❤️

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Falling Petals

Day 8 of @tsshipmonth2020 Fluffuary!

Ship: Loceit

AU: Canon/Hanahaki

Word Count: 2403

Summary: Logan starts coughing up flower petals one day and he has to figure out what to do before it’s too late.

(Like listening to podfics? You can listen to this oneshot on my YT channel here!)

It was during their weekly movie night that Logan first felt the itch. Something brushing against the inside of his lungs, causing small coughs as he tried to discreetly dislodge whatever it was without disturbing the others too much. He stood to go get a glass of water, to try and force a change, and that was when the nausea hit.

He ran to the bathroom, the door loudly slamming shut in his haste. He collapsed in front of the toilet, barely having the forethought to make sure his glasses didn’t come off as he heaved. It was a violent feeling, like he’d coughed so hard that he’d forced the contents of his stomach back up, but nothing wanted to come out.

Logan stayed there, changing between coughing and heaving until finally he felt something dislodge and stick in the back of his throat. Against his better judgement, he stuck his hand in his mouth to pull out whatever it was that was causing this.

He couldn’t help but stare at it in amazement and growing horror. How was this possible?

Sitting pretty in the palm of his hand, was a single yellow flower petal.

Logan froze where he heard a knock on the door, and Patton’s worried voice from behind it. “Logan? Is everything alright?”

He cleared his throat - the itch had only momentarily gone away, and was beginning to build again. “I’m perfectly fine, Patton. I believe I reacted poorly to the amount of junk food I’ve consumed in the last hour.”

Patton hummed through the door, not sounding fully convinced. “Really? You’ve never had that happen before... Are you getting sick?”

Logan got to his feet, locking his knees so his legs wouldn’t shake, and he crushed the petal before dropping it into the toilet bowl and flushing it. He then opened the door and forced his face into a neutral expression. “I’m certain. I do believe I’ll retire for tonight though. If I am ill, that will be for the best.”

The fatherly side pursed his lips, and when Logan looked past him, he could see the other two turned on the couch to look at him. “If you’re sure it’s just that... can I bring you anything?”

Logan shook his head. “No. I’ll be fine, go ahead and finish the movie without me.”

He felt three pairs of eyes following him as he ascended the stairs, and there was a heavy feeling settling in the pit of his stomach that did not pair well with the itch in his lungs. Even if he had wanted to sleep, he wasn’t sure he would be able to in this state.

Instead, he grabbed his laptop and began meticulously searching online for any information on what was happening to him. Thankfully, it didn’t take long to get his answer.

“Hanahaki disease?” Logan muttered aloud, reading the paragraph to himself. “‘A fictional disease where the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love.’ One sided love? What kind of joke is this?”

This couldn’t be real. Yes, the sides had gotten sick before, but it was always in the vaguest of ways. Their symptoms were unique to who they were and what the issue was. They had never suffered from a cold, much less a fictional illness that existed in derivative fiction written about fictional characters!

It had to be wrong. But every attempt to find another explanation kept bringing him back to this ‘hanahaki disease’, as well as resources about the language of flowers.

He hissed air through his teeth, rubbing at his eyes with the palm of his hand. Then his lungs began to itch again, and he launched into another coughing fit which ended with several more yellow flower petals in his hand.

It was impossible, but he couldn’t deny that every piece of evidence was pointing towards him having this disease. Perhaps it was fictional, but there had been weirder things they’d done and had done to them in Thomas’s videos.

For a moment, he let himself laugh at the irony that he was the one who’d come down with the illness. Of anyone to suffer from one-sided love, of course it would be him. It was ridiculous, but as more petals filled his mouth, he decided that he didn’t have much time to laugh at his situation.

In a way, he’d known that something like this was coming. He’d started to notice recently that his body reacted extremely whenever he came into contact with a certain lying trait. His heart would begin to race, his palms would get sweaty, and it was significantly harder to form proper sentences when Deceit met his eyes.

All signs pointed to him having developed a crush. He hadn’t told anyone else - Roman and Patton were still wary of the snakelike side, and Virgil clearly had an unresolved history that he had no interest in reopening any time soon.

Logan had been ready to write it off, to let the feelings die off naturally as Deceit showed no sign of reciprocating the strange new emotions he was having. But now, as he scanned more and more sources, he realized that wasn’t an option anymore.

There were only two ways to get rid of the disease. The first was to confess their love, and have it reciprocated. There were conflicting sources on what would happen if the subject of the feelings didn’t feel the same way, but they all agreed the result was not desirable.

But it was nothing compared to if the disease was allowed to progress without treatment. According to the sources Logan found, Hanahaki caused flowers to bloom in the lungs. If nothing is done about the illness, those flowers would spread and become thorny and rough, eventually causing internal bleeding and then... death.

Logan snapped his laptop shut and threw the covers over himself as he heard footsteps outside in the hall, and only a second later he heard the door open and light spilled in from the hall.

“Logan? Are you still awake?”

The logical side stayed still, and soon enough the door was softly closed and Logan was left alone.

He didn’t sleep, though. The entire night, he pondered over his situation, and his various options. He could certainly confess his love, but what would it mean for Thomas if Deceit didn’t feel the same way?

What would it mean if he did?

On the other hand, Logan would be putting his host in even more danger if he didn’t do anything about it. Could he die? He wasn’t exactly human, but he was able to get sick, apparently. Would another Logic come to take his place, or would it be like the time Virgil ducked out, but permanent?

He couldn’t take that risk, he realized. It was a given that he would deteriorate if he didn’t take any action. It was worth the risk of confessing, as embarrassing as that would be.

Logan’s heart raced at the idea. He couldn’t do it out of the blue - he knew his nerves would get the better of him if he simply approached Deceit tomorrow. But he couldn’t wait too long, or his health would begin to suffer and his friends would most certainly notice. He calculated he had probably a week, maybe two before he would have to tell them.

They were filming a video a week from today, and Deceit was featured prominently in that script. That was when he would do it, Logan decided. After they had wrapped up for the day, Logan would ask to speak with Deceit alone, and that’s when he would confess.

He had a plan, and he would follow through no matter the possible consequences. It was in Thomas’s best interest, after all.

~

The week went by agonizingly slow. Every day more flower petals came from his lungs, increasing in frequency and quantity by the hour. On Wednesday, a full flower bud forced its way into his throat, and disposing of that under Virgil’s watchful eye was a difficult task.

They knew something was up. Logan would be foolish to think he could completely hide his condition from them. But he’d been able to fend off their questions, and he’d made it to Friday.

A few minutes before they needed to rise up and start filming with Thomas, Patton grabbed Logan’s arm and gently pulled him to the side.

“Logan... I’m really worried about you. You’re so pale, and you’ve been running to the bathroom every other minute for the last week. And don’t think I didn’t see those bloody tissues in the trash. What’s happening, Logan? This isn’t just a little stomach bug like you’ve been saying.” Patton mumbled, his grip tightening as he spoke.

Logan sighed. Of course Patton noticed, and of course he had to pick today of all days to confront him about it. If he could have just waited until tomorrow... hell, if he could have just waited a few hours, everything would have been fine!

He opened his mouth to answer Patton, to tell him everything was fine and he was on the mend, but it was then that his lungs violently spasmed and he doubled over from the force of it. Logan had to open his mouth and just let the petals fall as he coughed and hacked to Patton’s growing horror.

“Logan! What’s happening?!”

“Ha... Hana...”

“Hana-what? Logan, please, you need to go lay down!”

Logan shook his head, panting as he wiped at his mouth. “No, I can’t... that won’t help... I need to... need to speak... with Deceit...”

Patton grabbed his shoulders, fingernails digging into his skin. “What? Why Deceit? Logan, please, you need to rest!”

“Patton, please! I have a plan, it’s fine! This isn’t a normal sickness that one can just rest from and recover! It’s called Hanahaki, and it could kill me if I don’t speak with Deceit, who’s currently waiting for us to rise up and start shooting with him!”

The moral side was panicked, but Logan had to pull away before he insisted for a third time that he go lie down. He closed his eyes, ready to muster the energy needed to rise up and face what he needed to do, but before he could, they felt the air change and the other two sides appeared beside them.

“We’ve gotta find Deceit.” Roman announced, and both Logan and Patton stared at him.

“What? Isn’t he with Thomas?”

The prince shook his head. “No, he never showed up, and then my brother popped up and said he’s refused to leave his room for weeks now.”

“And I was not going to let Thomas go there himself, so we’ve gotta go see what he’s sulking about.” Virgil added, his hands in his pockets.

In his room for weeks?

Logan stumbled away from them, towards the stairs and towards the hallway that lead to Deceit’s room. He nearly tripped as he picked up the pace, and he heard his friends call after him and then come running after him as well.

It was pitch black in the dark sides’ part of the Mindscape, but Logan could see a figure standing in front of the doorway, his piercing orange eyes the only spot of light in the darkness.

“Obsession.” Logan greeted, coughing up another batch of flower petals. Obsession’s eyes darted, and Logan knew he was able to see in the dark and so knew exactly what he was going through.

“Oh, this is too good.” The orange side snickered, stepping aside from the door and knocking on it from behind his back.

A weak voice answered from inside. “Go... away...”

“Someone’s brought you flowers, Dee! Isn’t that nice? Won’t you let him in?”

Logan didn’t have the energy to glare at Obsession, instead moving to open the door. There was something blocking it, but even in his weakened state he was able to force it open.

Deceit’s room was softly illuminated by glowing golden spheres hanging in the air, which allowed Logan to see just what sorry state Deceit had fallen into.

He was lying in bed, a mountain of ratty blankets piled on top of him. His eyes were half-lidded, and he didn’t even seem to register that Logan was in the room at first. There was a pile of something on the floor beside the bed, and when Logan sank to his knees beside it, he realized they were flowers.

Dark blue flowers and flower petals, to be exact.

“Deceit...” Logan whispered, feeling that telltale itch building up in his throat. The other side stirred, his golden eye glowing in the dim light.

“L-Logan? Why... are you here?”

The logical side couldn’t help but smile. “I heard you were feeling ill. And... I also needed to tell you something, and seeing you like this has caused my fears about it to dissipate.”

Deceit blinked slowly, trying to digest his words. “Because... I’m sick?”

“Because you seem to be suffering from the same thing I have been for the past week. Although... you seem to be much further along than I am...”

“Two... months...” Deceit mumbled, then his eyes widened and he tried to shift out from under the blankets, with little success. “W-Wait... the same... thing?”

Logan’s heart was racing, but he leaned in closer to Deceit, meeting his eyes. “A disease born from one-sided love... but it appears it wasn’t unrequited after all.”

“Logan, are you... saying...?”

“I’m in love with you, Deceit. I have been for a long time, but I was not ready to admit it to myself until recently.”

Deceit blinked again, dragging in a shuddering breath. “I... I love... you... too...”

Then he slumped, having exhausted the little energy he had. Logan stood, cradling Deceit’s head as he sat down on the bed and laid it in his lap. Deceit squeaked in surprise, but Logan’s fingers started carding through his hair and all the tension in his body released as the snakelike side fell into a deep, comfortable sleep, the thorns in his lungs dissolved the moment Logan had uttered the words.

Logan stayed there for hours, soon falling asleep himself as he enjoyed the freedom from the itch in his lungs, and the comfort from the warmth growing in his heart.

For so long he’d disparaged it, but perhaps love wasn’t so bad after all.

[trigafy]

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(1) http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/body-cholesterol.shtml (2) http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/03/10/the-sunny-side-of-eggs.aspx (3) Journal of the American College of Cardiology, 2006; 48(4): 715-720, “Consumption of Saturated Fat Impairs the Anti-Inflammatory Properties of High-Density Lipoproteins and Endothelial Function” (4) http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC201014/ ========= Thank you for watching. Please feel free to comment, like or share with your friends.

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