#even when im not even there
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my bitterness is all consuming
#my cat is here with me. i love her. anyway vent incoming 3 2 1 go#her hatred is. too much#even when im not even there#i can feel it#i feel lucky because i got to spend my bday with my friends. thats hasnt happened in a while#my cousins birthday is tomorrow. no one invited me but thats fine i dont care#my grandma is making a huge pie for my cousin. she has never done that for me#she didnt even call me for my birthday#i wish my grandpa was here. i know he loved me. i saw him so little but i know#she hated him too. hell my own mom is convinced she hates her because she is just like him#the despised grandchild of the hated daughter#anyway i know i shouldnt shed tears for this but i feel so alone lmao#i dont want to live here anymore#delete later
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there should be more hours between 6 and 10pm. like even just two more hours. for my assorted hobbies & activities
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I like how people on tumblr/twitters examples of irredeemable media are always coincidentally media that had been highly popular online 5 years prior and would, say, potentially be something a young adult might be embarrassed about having liked as a teenager at one point
#txt#im calling myself out btw i know it when i see it. i did this so much when i was like 18-23. maybe even older but ill be nice
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#please do rb this btw i know like 5% of you at most know my name#but even when im sure i know somebody's name i have to check to make sure#bc if i got it wrong id have to go missing#so im curious if anybody actually knows who anyone else is or if we're all just going by url
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ill keep writing about surviving because i don't know what else there is
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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IS ANYONE ELSE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS OR
#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#hazbin husker#hazbin angel dust#hazbin angeldust#angeldust#husker#hazbin husk#look man im all for overlord husk but EXCUSE ME????????#WHERE DID THIS COME FROM#I LITERALLY YELLED W H A T AT MY COMPUTER SCREEN WHEN HE SAID THIS#I KNEW HUSK WAS STRONGER THAN HE LET ON BUT AN OVERLORD???????#GURL??????????#DAMN SON#THIS new piece of information caught me so offguard that i was still reeling from it even after the emotional bomb that was loser baby#anyways huskerdust truthers how are we feeling#HOW DOES VICTORY FEEL#NO LONGER CRACKSHIP BROTHERS#WE'RE REAL#AND IM FEELING SO GOOD ABOUT IT#anwyways im doing very emotionally good how are you guys#im...gonna put a hiatus my own personal webcomic to cry over this for the next 6 months#girls help#keith david...........im so sorry i ever doubted you he ATE THAT UPPPP#hazbin hotel spoilers#pear post#scheeze art
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I feel like the age of having a "burner email" is gone. Out of curiosity,
#emails#i know this is a boring question but im curious#my mom was thrown off when i told her i have burner emails when i shop online so i don't get my personal email stolen/sold#i remember in like 2010s internet i feel like it was weirder to NOT have burner emails#but i don't hear anyone talk about them anymore so i'm curious#but if people are using tiktok and chat-gpt as search engines then maybe burner emails haven't even crossed their minds
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Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.
#like I love sex im glad we're hyping it up#but also genuinely some of you have got to learn how to be normal around people who dont want to have sex#even if you're not talking about asexuality when you say stuff like that you're still being a weirdass#im not ace myself but i keep seeing posts that come across like they're taking it personally that other people don't want to have sex#it sounds like theyre trying to prove something to someone
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"just as I did, in 1983."
you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#devils minion#drew this before the finale but idk maybe this is during the unspecified amount of time between armands divorce and daniels press tour#the titian painting doesnt fit at ALL with the timeline btw#i THOUGHT it did bc i assumed 1508 was when armand was turned into a vampire BUT upon reflection thats more likely the year he was born#and even then the painting was made in like 1510 so fuck me i guess. also im foggy on when armand was taken to rome#idk man i havent read the books and i failed art history on two separate occasions i cannot endeavor for accuracy#anyway as much as i love 70s/80s devils minion i have equal love for old man daniel#his cynicism has been tempered by time... refined like a diamond... he dont gaf and bullies his loser vampire and its hilarious#like ''sure yeah fine all these old italian renaissance guys saw ur ethereal otherworldly beauty but literally anybody can see that''#''IM the only mf who gets to experience the incandescent joy of seeing you be a messy idiot''#sidenote trying to make armand look unflattering is impossible u can blame the show for casting the worlds most beautiful man
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we'll do fine.
#fionna and cake spoilers#what hits me a little is how similar fionna and simon's stories are in the case of finding nuance in their lives#when both have gone through their separate but still valid pain no matter the extent it had been#and its that they met each other they get to see how it compares and they're no less worth of the peace and fun they dreamed of#even in the form of simplicity and just being normal#“i wouldn't have met THE fionna and cake” “we wouldn't have met THE simon petrikov”#it hits me harder that after the dandelion scene would've been their last time seeing each other physically#and how assuring simon sounded when fionna didn't know what to do with the literal world in her hands#tho im sure prismo isnt that much of a rule jerk lol i still drew out the revelation anyway with this tiniest addition#also the fact fionna's world is influenced by simon's thought processes and conditions so now things are a little better for both of them#fionna the human#fionna campbell#simon petrikov#qiiarts#the lil flashback of#betty grof#fionna and cake#adventure time
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the snake of eden 🥰
#good omens#good omens 2#ineffable husbands#crowley#anthony j crowley#my art#I love him!!!#something quick because I'm very busy im sorry 😭#I have a ton of gomens sketches I want to work on when I'm done with my current deadlines I can't wait#I'm also making new outfits inspired by them!!#and I have a couple of poto paintings to finish!! and more poto content to share very soon eughuehg#also tempted to make doctor who fan art because I love tenth is there even still an audience for it? lmao#the audience is me 😌#I'm always the most inspired when I'm busy as hell 🥲#aaaaaa
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dating Miles Edgeworth headcanons (Miles Edgeworth x fem reader)
He leaves you for a man
#tetri.txt#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#miles edgeworth x reader#sorry. no im not actually. make more x readers for men or even just gender neutral#im actually genuinely baffled at thw amount of fem reader miles stuff when 90% of the fandom sees him as gay. its nuts#1k#10k#20k#30k#crazy.
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I'll rip in hands and teeth and take a bite
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#yuuji#sukuna#sukuita#fanart#jjk fanart#gore tw/#body horror tw/#blood tw/#YUUJIIII BABY BOYYYY BABYYYYYY#hes hungry :/#sukuna seems 2 be having fun gdjhfgsdf . boys when theyre bored.#so happy i wrangled this pose in2 something im happy with i almost abandoned the idea entirely#sometimes front facing is the answer.....who knew :'>#also#can anyone tell me. how far up yuujis fun arms go i had no idea so i just stopped them at the elbow#if im wrong that will b not swaggy :(#listening 2 sena's cover of butchers vanity on repeat btw VIBES#cannibalism motifs my beloved uwu#in other news this is the least amount of shading ive done in a very long time#and its been even longer since i pulled out th white lineart#but overall i like this piece so much yuuji is so cute and it doesnt make sense 2 me at all#edit changed the colour to make it more obvious whats sukunas legs vs whats yuujis back
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various album covers
#homestuck#john egbert#rose lalonde#dave strider#jade harley#hs art#hs fanart#artist on tumblr#cannot seperate these guys#even though 90% of the time i only draw dave#dave fiend over here#bc i usually only have energy / ideas for one#i wanna do actual homestuck album redraws though#be so awesome#one day#maybe#when im not busy#(never)#dr art
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Elizabeth Afton bets on losing dogs in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#elizabeth afton#circus baby#william afton#fnaf sister location#William WHEN I GET YOU#I know I focus on Michael a lot but let it be known#I feel bad for all the Afton children#Elizabeth has such a sad story to her#all she wanted was her father to acknowledge her#but instead he made circus baby which I think he was more proud of then her#and refused to let Elizabeth see it the one thing she assumes her father made for her#and she dies because of it cause he didn’t watch her#even as baby he isn’t interested in her#he more so focuses on his hate for Michael#Elizabeth has always been an after thought#she deserved so much better#tell your baby that im your baby
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