#even though it can just be platonic
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OK SO I JUST HAD THIS SANDERS SIDES FIC IDEA
So. Urban fantasy/superpower AU, and Virgil can see into the future. Not far, and not for very long, but it's there. One night, he sees himself at a party of Roman's for some reason, and despite everything, he feels like he needs to go. So, he's at the party, just standing around awkwardly, and nothing really happens. Maybe Roman gives him a look every now and then, but all in all, nothing happens. Virgil feels like something was supposed to happen, so he goes to the party. And the next, and the next, and the next. Nothing's really changed, he's there at the back of the party, just. Watching.
Until one night, Virgil decides to stop. Maybe he's not feeling great, or maybe he's decided that what he saw already happened and he was just there for no reason. Either way, he doesn't show up at the party and just stays home.
Cue someone (I thought of it as Roman but it can really be anyone, even all of them if you wish) showing up at Virgil's house because Virgil's shown up every time and without him "I don't really feel safe at the party."
(bonus points if they of them come back and see something bad's happened at the party, so in a way, Virgil did save them)
#sanders sides#sanders sides au#sanders sides fanfiction#fic ideas#virgil sanders#tagging every ship with Virgil in it#even though it can just be platonic#prinxiety#analogical#moxiety#dukexiety#anxceit#LAMP#DLAMP#DLAMPR
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I have finally finished 2.4 and oh my GOD watching Dan Heng be so protective of his friends nearly killed me, MY HEART.
And yes, the cutscene where he pushes the trailblazer out of the way and even cushions their fall with his own body, but I mean even before that! When he was already trying to protect them and March 7th from Feixiao and Lingsha!!
Because if you watch the dango trio throughout the main quest, you'll notice that they often position themselves in the same way, which is a detail that makes me super happy that Hoyo thought to include- when the three of them aren't evenly spaced, March 7th and the trailblazer tend to gravitate towards each other and stand very close together, frequently side-by-side. And by comparison, Dan Heng usually stands slightly away, and often even slightly behind them, where he can pull on their leashes to wrangle them keep an eye on them.
This is probably a habit learned through experience, since March 7th said during Belobog she is the "queen of unannounced disappearances" fjdksajfkldjsak
And of course at least a little bit of it is just done for like, aesthetic purposes. It's a video game. Things have to look nice for the player. The trailblazer and Dan Heng are the same height, March 7th is a bit shorter, and Yanqing is even smaller. It makes sense to have the trailblazer and Dan Heng stand on the ends, with March 7th and Yanqing in the middle, it just looks nicer and more balanced that way. But still! Even when they're accommodating for Yanqing in this quest, they still all arrange themselves the same way, almost every time!
But this changes after Dan Heng and Yanqing become suspicious of the visitors from the Yaoqing.
The dango trio still stand around relaxed and in their usual manner when they go to the artisanship delve and meet Skott,
but Dan Heng takes notice of Lingsha when she arrives, and he and Yanqing mentioned her specifically when discussing their worries.
Yanqing worrying so much about Jing Yuan got me right in the heart, he's such a good boy WEH
And when the four of them go out to the alchemy delve to meet Lingsha for tea, the pattern breaks. Suddenly Dan Heng is standing right up front, and even walks in and enters the scene before March 7th and the trailblazer to get to Lingsha before them. He stays a step in front of them the whole time, too.
And then when Dan Heng and the trailblazer have to go be interrogated by Feixiao! The same deal! Dan Heng walks in ahead of them and stays in front of them! Noticeably so! Enough that even Feixiao takes note and voices it!
Dan Heng is so so fiercely protective of his companions, and I love it, I adore hyper vigilance in the wake of trauma like this, I'm so excited to see what else he does in 2.5, I hope we either get to see him get fucked up or the trailblazer gets fucked up in his place, I wanna see them run through the meat grinder!!!
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr dan heng#dan heng#dancae#danstelle#he loves them so much wehhhhhh#(I know I threw in the ship tags but I mean that love romantically or platonically. tag this either way as you please)#but anyway not to mention the whole cutscene part and Dan Heng promising he wouldn't let them die before him#I could have screamed when I read that oh my GOD#Dan Heng. baby. honey. sweetiepie.#I am going to squish him#I wanna see him get a little freaked out about being stuck in the Shackling Prison again heehee#I hope we get to see his old cell at some point#looking at all this though like yeah no wonder Dan Heng immediately doesn't like Moze haha#Moze is capable of the bigger picture and of being objective. Dan Heng loses that ability when his friends are in danger.#It's just not something they can see eye-to-eye on.#Dan Heng and even the trailblazer both immediately see it as being cold and uncaring.#Moze: *breathes*#Dan Heng: I'm no cactus expert but this guy's a prick.#I love them both I hope they butt heads again later fjkldjaklfd#dango trio#Nameless trio#trailblazer trio#caelus#stelle#hsr caelus#hsr stelle#march 7th
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i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a binary i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a sliding scale of "less" to "more" i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the only two options i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as significantly different things i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as all encompassing i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the two halves of a shallow concept of love that doesn't actually encompass anything at all i think we need to overhaul every popular conception about "types" of love so we can talk about things that are real and true for once
#in conclusion. alloromantics stfu up about love challenge#hate using the term platonic so much actually. cause even if it has a definition that is what it Should mean#you know that people don't actually think about it that way.#you say 'platonic' and you might Mean an all-encompassing love. but how it's interpreted is shorthand for 'just friends'#so like. the word platonic isn't Really for me is it :|#platonic gets presented like a consolation prize for aro people no matter where you turn#but fundamentally rn it comes from a concept of platonic and romantic as the two kinds of love#where platonic is for family and friends and nothing More.#and romantic is for the relationships that overhaul all else#so 'aros can still feel platonic love!' ok. what if it's not platonic as you know it though.#'oh then it's romantic!' k but it's not romantic either. will your framework explode if i say that#'aros can still feel platonic love!' why do you say that like it's a second-best option and expect me to identify with it...#again. platonic might Actually mean smth i experience. but it won't be Heard that way. do you get what i'm saying#i don't experience 'platonic blurring into romantic' cause i will never feel romantic love actually. those lines are still blurring though#ummmmm in conclusion. killing and biting#aromantic#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#talking
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I hate to be that one person who’s like when ur so busy ur not consumed by other people or being in a relationship blah blah blah …. But truly when u have ur hands full you could fucking care less and it’s so liberating
#Like the moment you get busy the desperation to be seen by other ppl#Both platonically and romantically#Goes away so fast#I’m very dangerous when I’m in these moods bc it’s easy to push good ppl away when you’re too#Focused on yourself#But also I like not being that anxious about anyone#Like it’s not that deep#It’s its own kind of nice even though ik it’s such a slippery slope#Also the obsession to be in a relationship or the being scared of being alone goes away so fast#It truly sucks that the “have hobbies/goals” advice works so well but it DOES#Not that I’m advocating for anyone to be a hermit like ofc human connection still matters#The desperation is just not there so it’s much less high stakes if it’s not in ur life rn#Like how can you be wasting time if ur getting to know urself better
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gojo 'i am a man too' satoru when you keep teasing him about how he's younger than you and makes it his life mission to prove it.
#scene is you kept calling him kid for some reason#but the age gap isn't even THAT much yk#and it just pisses him off#because you're seeing him as a naive innocent lil guy#when hes far Far from it#he has his needs too#something along the lines of kissing you dizzy and taking you raw (you didn't hear that from me)#and hes been in love with you for as long as he can remember#so now that he's a man himself#he gets bolder and bolder#and yet you can't take the goddamn hint#or maybe you do#maybe you're just pretending everything is platonic when it clearly isnt#for now though that's okay#just gives him all the more opportunity to show you how much he's matured#hehe coughs and giggles#𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬
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"Marchil? I guess I can see it on Chilchuck’s end, but what about Marcille’s? What makes you think she could develop feelings for him?" I’m glad you asked!
The first thing to note is that she does think highly of him
In the page on the right, literally defending his virtues and literally comparing him to Dalclan. And oh…
She does love a brooding mysterious guy who closes himself to love. But surely, Chilchuck isn’t her type at all, right? He’s not princely or knightly at all. In apperances certainly not, both looks wise and demeanor wise, but then that’s why she seeks to know him on a deeper level, to not only look shallowly.
And hmm. Chilchuck really is quite selfless isn’t he? Always looking out for others, and saving specifically her often, always making sure himself and, staying in or even running towards danger for her sometimes. Modesty is often considered heroic…
And can we talk about that drowning one… You can definitely frame the special attention as him knowing she tends to hesitate or be clumsy, and then his insistance on pulling her out of danger that she’s the healer aka the most important to keep alive, but. From the one who says that he just keeps his ass out of fights and won’t help this is a lot of risk to take, and he does die trying to pull her to safety in the dungeon rabbits chapter. And the drowning bit??? That’s when the dungeon collapses. The only reason they DON’T die of drowning here is that the water then gives way to outside. There was NO hope of pulling her to safety here and resurrections would likely not work either, he truly preferred to die with her than try to survive himself.
Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state, self-sacrifical hero much damn
And Marcille definitely noticed this imo, after all she loves learning all she can about him, remembering things like how he hates waiting on people too. She pays attention to him and what he does and what he says. This to say that it’s notable, whatever reason for it you may think (though we know by this point at least she was already aware he was an adult though it wasn’t internalized), out of everyone it’s Chilchuck’s bed that she wants to sleep in during the Golden Kingdom stay. He’s safe and comforting to her: dependable, the defining trait in her view of him as is shown by the relationship chart in the Adventurer’s Bible.
^ Lending handkerchiefs is a romance trope btw and handkerchiefs have irl history of being used for courting. Especially in old English literature and plays like Shakespeare’s Othello, and personally I do see a lot of Shakespeare in Dalclan (nobility political drama with some romance). There’s how his cowl is a dearly beloved souvenir from his family too, there’s a lot of aesthetic tropes you can apply to him.
All this to say you can 100% romanticize Chilchuck into a princely noble guy if you try and that’s exactly what Marcille does with the wife roleplay. She doesn’t need much in the first place, she latches onto crumbs and makes aesthetic narratives out of details, give her an inch she’ll take a mile.
But what’s interesting about the shift throughout the arc of her and his relationship is that she starts out idealizing him into a little angel of a kid (shapeshifter), and she ends it idealizing him as a virtuous husband and family man instead.
And what’s doubly interesting is that in the former, she’s actively warping who he is personality and demeanor wise to fit the aesthetic, he doesn’t have that bitter pride of not asking for help and the edges have been smoothened. But what she does during the wife roleplay is something else, she acknowledges the flaws and just… Accepts them, rolls with them. She’s aware of his flaws and implements them into the narrative, but the reason why his wife left doesn’t capitalize on them even, rather Chil is chilblivious and his wife loves him very much still, she’s just testing him after having had a night of feeling out of place at his side.
And this is what separates the idealization vs romanticization, she’s not twisting him into someone else she’s just uplifting what he is and focusing on the good sides.
Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough"
He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration and fighting for
And what’s funny too is that you might expect her to cool down on him once she learns more about him but actually she only gets increasingly into his business. You tell her your age and next thing you know you promise to introduce her to your family. Give her an inch she takes a mile. And too the thing is, Senshi is equally mysterious but she doesn’t pester him like at all, asks him ONCE about his succubus and he doesn’t even answer and that’s like… It. With Chilchuck it starts off innocently enough with her wanting to know his age, hometown, the stuff she mentions having asked pre-canon. But it just keeps and keeps going and escalating. Think she’ll be satisfied now knowing you have a wife and kids, maybe she’s disillusioned now? Wrong! She wants to know their names and ages and occupations and hey how did you propose to your wife? Do you think she’ll stop after meeting them? What’s next? What will she want to know next????
She’s… Like it’s not a reach that Marcille is all over him. Like it doesn’t mean it’s romantic but she just is. She is not normal about him idk. Can you not ask him about what tongue technique he used when first kissing his wife, give the man breathing room
Marcille could literally go "if I was Chilchuck’s wife" having deeply pondered and thought out the hypothetical and people would still ask where anyone sees any romantic potential between them. Oh wait
There’s a platonic explanation for everything (almost?) in Dungeon Meshi don’t say I’m saying otherwise, but it’s definitely not like there’s nothing here to read into lol
Going off a bit more under read bc it’s my fave topic
Marcille has a whole theme with the charming prince trope with her idealization and storybook motif and Chil is kinda the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex and that’s ok and good and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" catalyst
Do you see do you see she starts canon thinking the most romantic thing is a prince charming but her arc in the end has her romanticizing an average, flawed, real and realistic family man, who’s on the poorer side and is on the verge of divorce. And that’s what he needed, too, seeing the positive of himself and the situation instead of focusing on the negative is explicitly what inspires him to hope that he might be able to reconcile with his wife, gives him the courage and self-esteem to shoot his shot.
He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting them to make the world feel kinder!!!!
He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wantsss not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous & devoted & loving man. Far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks. Like literally, flawed romance being worth fighting for is literally the finale of Chilchuck and Marcille’s arc on the matter, where their separate arcs and issues intersect at the most crucial moment.
Marcille is important to Chil’s arc not only because of her optimism, but also because of her interest and knowledge in romance & matters of the heart, and that’s what he needs to both open his heart up to hope and to try to reconcile with his wife, like idk sounds gay
Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still romantically beautiful like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-
Ok fine that’s me reading into the tropes too much forgive me for being storybook brained but like. Speaking his heart out to a lone woman on a balcony, Romeo and Juliette shit, asking if she, too, doesn’t want to meet his family, madly blushing. And like she’s learned with Chilchuck it’s all in the little things, all the implications he cannot speak aloud. She does reciprocate, does blush madly back, and the first thing she does is shower him in flowers and jewelry and what in her heart is coded as romantic gifts
A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with an offer, a heartfelt spiel, implicit confession from underneath her balcony. Offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to climb to her too…. Crazy
Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like and not, contrastedly real and grounded, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures, "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? This is @ the woman who said "Chilchuck is a shy/bashful man so I know he wouldn’t tell me he loves me, but…" btw
To quote a friend, truly the shiny secret unlockable dating sim capture target : THE DUNGEON LORD BIT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE'D TAKE IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER HES THE ONE WHO GOT HER TO TURN AROUND COMPLETELY SHES LIKE. WIDE EYED FLAG RAISED???? FLAG RAISED WITH CHILCHUCK 👀👀👀‼️👀👀‼️👀
And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like people are not ready for the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take. Or the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’ take which makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a charming elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does end up romanticizing)
So there, you got to witness in real time what happens when I think about marchil for longer than 2 minutes, there are so many layers it’s a deranged rabbithole. I saw the necronomicon of subtext and it’s driving me to madness with forbidden knowledge that no one else sees
……. Like what if I told you she implicitly picked Chilchuck over a "unrealistic prince charming who’s actually disingenuous" much earlier in the story already. If she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus she’d pick Chilchuck over the other actually. If I sound insane rn tune in for my full analysis on them coming this month hopefully thank youu. Interwoven arcs of fantasy vs reality and idealization vs pessimism I love youuu
So now you know the general thesis of my planned analysis about the importance of the prince charming figure in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something easy and digestible and poetic (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ✨✨✨husband), and how she needs to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, and accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending. Ik I keep repeating the same point through this but I need it to be burned into everyone’s brains it has its grip on me I can’t do this. They are so special……
#Someone did ask (on discord) btw i’m not just being a smartass though I do love being that too#This is stuff I cover in my upcoming marcille & chil arc analysis except here I can go full romo and don’t keep the strictly platonic angle#It’s at like 15k words rn I think. The 30 pics limit is killing me which is why I started asking my friend to do collages of panels for me#Sob#I keep alternating between it and the Falin analysis save me. Should be dropping soon idk i might test out having a beta reader for that on#Marchil foreplay is 2 years of being coworkers and slowly worming personal questions out of him until he blinks and she has#a key to his house#Dungeon meshi#marchil#marcille donato#chilchuck tims#like they’re so so funny look at this shit. Nonconsensual romanticizing of you as a person. Obsessive interest in your personal life#She’s latched so hard onto the “mystery” of him they’re deranged#MAYBE ITS ALL COMPROMISES MAYBE ITS ALL SWEET INBETWEENS <3#maybe we'll take our vision of what we thought we could be and make something new together. something for just us#Fumi rambles#Maaan Marcille’s ‘idealizing him into liking him even for all his flaws bc his personality is often kinda shitty’ arc’#and Chilchuck’s ‘prejudice against elves and mages and optimism into respect and trust’ arc are everything to me#Meta#Spoilers#Dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Tagged this so late oops#It’s so funny. She’s canonically wondered how Chil would be like as a lover#No no but like do u see. Fantasy is a key part of her chrcter and arc and he’s the foil to that he’s the thing that comes challenge it
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Tuvok and Kathryn and the time Kathryn destroyed the timeline get Tuvok back.
/I Swear Somewhere This Works - Trista Mateer/
#voy#yeah..#i have so many thoughts#about tuvok and janeway and their friendship#a lot of focus is put on how janeway destroyed the endgame timeline to get /seven/ back and I think it's forgotten a lot of the time that#she destroyed the timeline for tuvok too#it was tuvok AND seven AND chakotay#she had lost them all#i have more of these web weaving type things coming for tuvok and janeway btw#cause i have so many thoughts#and feelings#trek thoughts#janeway's tunnel vision devotion to those she loves is wild#she was willing to destroy YEARS of lives that people had built just to get tuvok + seven + chakotay back#not even mentioning that her other crewmates had built lives too#but she told herself she was doing what was best for all of them#when really it was what was best for her probably#i support her though :)#i love her and tuvok's absolutely batshit ride or die attitudes towards each other#anwyays#i lvoe them#and they make me cry#kathryn janeway#tuvok#kathryn janeway x tuvok#janeway/tuvok#janeway x tuvok#oh also you can read this as platonic or romantic or queer platonic or a secret fourth thing that they seem to be#i believe in pretty much all interpretations tho i am a queer platonic/secret fourth thing truther at my heart#voyager
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i think the reason i hate childhood best friends to lovers but not when theyre mlm/wlw is because when its a het ship, people expect them to date as children/teens, so most of the movie/show/book is denying romantic feelings, rather than expanding on the once thought to be only platonic feelings in mlm/wlw ships
#this is a post i made on an alt account btw#but i realized it applies here too#because the reason i like byler#but not other childhood best friends is because#we live in a heteronormative society so mlm wlw actions are seen as platonic#so theres no pressure from outside#so even though they already know each other and are a little in love#we can see them falling in love still#but not with het ships#who have been shoehorned to gf bf roles even in their friendship#to the point where they're basisally already dating#just without the name#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers
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a redraw of something from october, original under the cut!!
i like to think ive improved !
#this drawing KILLED ME actually#i started it like?? 2 months ago?? and abandoned it at some point#so by the time i finished it my art had already progressed even just slightly more so i had to redo all the people sketches#im glad to have it done though and im fairly proud of the finished result#remus and roman r playing mariokart btw. if you even care#sanders sides#dlampr#<- not explicitly at all and this can be entirely viewed as platonic im just evil and think polyamory makes everything better#sasi art#ts sides#remus sanders#virgil sanders#logan sanders#roman sanders#janus sanders#patton sanders#my art#art
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I read this Timbern fic where Tim at one point thought about his friendship with Conner and how he was his best friend and to him they felt so close that they were basically like family and I really liked that interpretation of their relationship. I love a few best friends to lovers ships, but I do think for Tim and Conner, it's cute that they can mean so much to each other platonically.
I love thinking about Conner and him talking about their current partners and being able to tease each other a bit for it - like Tim talking about how Bernard always has a snack ready for him to eat after patrol even if Bear made it hours ago and went to sleep, he'll leave out the muffins for Tim on the table with a little note.
And Conner is just like "You are so smitten, dude 😁"
#maybe primary exposure to Conner was young justice so hopefully im not interpreting him way off#its just nice tim has a group of friends to support him#this isnt hate to timkon though I just think its nice to have strong platonic relationships too#they still care deeply about each other even if they arent romantically interested in one another#i almost wanna create some ocs I can omagine Bear being close with so he has some friends to talk to outside of Tim#tim drake#bernard dowd#conner kent#timbern#timber#tati's post
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How is rowaelin already every romantic trope in one before they even have their first kiss?🫶😂👏
#rowaelin#Rowan x Aelin#Celaena and Rowan#Heir of Fire#TOG#Throne of Glass#Maasverse#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#tropes#SJM#ships#fandom#canon#HoF#Rowan and Celaena#Rowan and Aelin#Aelin and Rowan#can she just switch names and make tagging easier plz lol#talk about soulmates#Celaena Sardothien#Aelin Ashryver Galathynius#why does he only ever say Galathynius#the significance of name choice and timing such as Aelin with him Celaena to her#and there was only one bed#and he just had to take his shirt off#and he just stroked her hair platonically#and there just friends even though they can’t even say that#and they were just enemies to friends right sure#good luck babe
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fanfic idea wherein the strawhats come across a very dangerous pirate with the devil fruit ability to steal voices, who makes a sick show of “collecting” peoples’ voices, especially if they’re the voices of famous (or infamous) people, and Luffy sacrifices his voice to save Zoro’s life. Mute!Luffy ensues but he literally doesn’t care that his voice is gone. He’s just happy Zoro is okay. ofc the strawhats fight and get Luffy’s voice back (and manage to free everyone else’s voices in the process), and when Luffy gets his voice back he has the BIGGEST and purest laugh of the century
#One piece#roronoa zoro#monkey d. luffy#straw hat pirates#fanfiction idea#one piece fanfiction#mute#can be zolu if you want?#whatever I’ll tag it as zolu even though I personally think they’re just platonically devoted to each other#Zolu#If you write this fanfic please credit me#And let me know of it#I want to read your masterpiece pls#Fuck man I might write this fanfic myself#Could be fun
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#this question is very hard for me to answer so obviously I have to torment everyone else with it#cause like. like I can really see the potential in either answer. both are feasible#I will say. most realistically. to me. edwin first charles harder#because I think…..I think the reasoning behind the other way around usually tends to be about how edwin absolutely was slower to bond and#open up in general whereas charles hit the ground fucking running#but i don’t think that particularly applies to their romantic relationship#if you mean ‘fell for’ in a general sense rather than a romantic one then yes 100%#but that’s not what im talking about here#I have a few different reasons but generally I think edwin fell first because like… the way he attached himself to charles and accepted him#as his person and etc is so unlike him to do with literally anyone- especially at the point where they first met/the first years they knew#each other. charles just seems to have hit him as something very very special and irreplaceable quite quickly for him to open up the way he#did and change and flourish into a fully realized person because of how safe and worthy charles made him feel#he took to charles with an unusual amount of ease and trust and I think that says something about how charles struck his heart Early#whereas with charles… yes on one hand he did stay on the mortal plane largely because of edwin and absolutely would’ve been impacted by the#tender act of mercy that was edwin reading to him as he died so he wouldn’t be scared. that’s absolutely what got him to trust edwin and to#want to be with him and protect him and so on#but charles would still do that and be like that under intense platonic circumstances I think#but most importantly I just think charles fell harder. when he fell is less important to me here- more important is that by GOD that boy is#down so fucking bad and outright SAYS IT in so many ways that he doesn’t realize– the sheer amount he restates how he’s content so long as#he’s with edwin. how he doesn’t want to be anywhere where edwin can’t follow. would and Did go to hell and back for him. believes him#to be the kindest and most incredible person he’s ever met. prioritizes him above anything and everything. etc etc etc#that’s not to say edwin doesn’t feel a similar amount of devotion– but charles just. really loves him with his whole person. loves him as a#fact of his existence and a piece of his very soul#idk man. it just feels like he is so incredibly smitten and he doesn’t even know it.#like I said though I can see both options and give reasons for both options so this question EATS at me I GENUINELY don’t have a super#strong feeling either is absolutely correct. it’s so difficult to answer they’re both so smitten and have such a history and GRAHHHH#payneland#dead boy detectives#rambling#polls
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wait wait we had a big xmas moment of Eddie's S5 suprise leaving announcement and s2 xmas of the Diaz family family reunion under the christmas tree, but what if Eddie moves to Texas and things are slowly getting better with Chris but Eddie has very firmly committed himself to having no hopes and taking everything at Christopher's pace. he's glad to have his son back but missing the rest of the life he built. things are strained with his parents but he's making it work. there are positive signs - Chris is showing some enthusiasm for planning their Christmas together and agreeing they should do it together at the place Eddie is renting (even if he was planning to moving permanently if he's moving to reunite with christopher it makes sense to start with a rental he can get fast not wait through the whole buying/selling process as part of the initial relocation). And then it's Christmas morning and Chris is leading Eddie outside and Buck is waiting there and Chris announces that he's ready to come back to LA so he called Buck to come and get them both.
#buckley diaz family#nobody needs to say they are a family but it can be very loud#eddie diaz#christopher diaz#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#buddie#(or platonic ig if you want)#i will calm down eventually i swear#i caved to the temptation of my christmas songs playlist today which hasn't helped#and we don't even have to worry about the employment situation bc bobby has established he can get Eddie's job back before it'll be fine#and Eddie points out that this is great but they can't just fit their whole lives in Buck's jeep and leave immediately#though he would if he could#and Chris is just like god dad I'm making a gesture *stroppy yet fond teenage eyeroll*#Eddie says thank god his house hasn't sold yet#and Buck is like well if it had you could still come back to LA and live in the loft with me#Chris is like 'Buck I want to come home but I also need my own room thx'#also christopher and christmas in the same post is typing autopilot hell
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when I want to write something self indulgent to give me all the angsty and cuddly hurt/comfort feels but I can't because I end up feeling guilty because I'm seeking after feels that I feel in an inappropriate place because my mom told me one time when I was 15 that I shouldn't search that out or it's probably sexual sin but it confuses me because ALL the feels happen that way for me even if it's entirely platonic and nonsexual and so I don't know if it's okay to want to write to that because apparently all pleasure of any sort, even over platonic stories, is sexual or comes with a possibly probably sexual feeling and I also am having a hard time figuring out what's genuine conviction from God and what's just my anxiety/OCD/perfectionism/fear of failure
#like I feel like it's conviction. but also when I analyze it... I'm not doing anything sexual??? the stories I'm writing are#ENTIRELY platonic#it's like. found family feels.#but then why do I feel so guilty/convicted over it and feel better/less guilty when I stop writing anything feelsy#like... I guess I'm only allowed to write plot and can't ever write hugs and hurt/comfort anymore#my mom keeps saying I should journal all this instead of venting it at everybody and honestly maybe she's right#idk how to handle this but also I feel like if I just find a holding pattern where I can strike a healthy balance of lile#like* what is correct and healthy for me to enjoy#then the anxiety over it might pass? I don't want to avoid conviction though but like. why am I convicted over#writing a story where someone who's been treated like a monster finds a family who loves them#like.. is it because I'm seeking out whatever that feeling in my lower belly/groin is????#but that's like... so tied up in enjoyment and hurt/comfort to me that idk if I'm ACTUALLY looking for that#or if this is just what I write#and idk if that even is sinful in any way at all!!!#and why can't I just get over this? like I keep going in circles with it and it's so frustrating#idk this is totally tmi I just got hit with this awful feeling after work today and the only thing I can pinpoint it to#is this specific thing I've been writing. but even though yeah I've been getting feelsy with it... it's PLATONIC#ENTIRELY COMPLETELY NONSEXUAL. so like... is it that pleasure feeling that's the thing I'm being convicted over??#probably. bc that's the only thing that eases the feeling of conviction/anxiety/guilt#and also probably no one is reading all these tags lol sorry guys I'll go away now
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telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person
#they live rent free in my head as you can tell#ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney#tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship#aughhhh i just. love them so much#and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens#because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!!#like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he#after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak#meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes#just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even#though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein#shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for#one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right#okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them#platonic alecourtney
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