#even just to prove them wrong

[malulurivers]

listen, i’ve been challenged to write ganondorf x reader

the person that challenged me thinks this is simply diabolical and hilarious and undoing

little do they know that i love monarchy aus and have so many opinions on what ganondorf could’ve been as a character and it would be so fun

also—there’s a bunch of fans of ganondorf right? y’all are simping for him right? he may not be my personal cup of tea but y’all would absolutely have my support if you were—!

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

[simonbrain]

love the idea of reader just trying to fuck all her stress out with a random at the bar before returning back to her mundane life, and simon deciding he's going to keep her instead 🙂‍↕️

the prick doesn't budge when you try to kick him out; instead, he drags you back into bed and works his mouth to loosen you up again, and now you've forgotten why you were trying to haul his ass out of your home.

(you attempted to sound stern while telling him to get out of your house, but he merely chuckled, the sound so raspy and condescending that it stroked a heat within you that you thought was sated last night.

"this is our home. now get your arse back in bed, i'm fuckin' hungry.")

you had to really fist at his hair to pull him off of you, and that only turned him on if the deep groan rumbling out of him was anything to go by—you swear his tongue sunk deeper inside you. he only relented so he could fuck you dumb in the shower after, leaving you with trembling legs and feeling more dirty than clean (atta girl, don't you waste any of tha'—keep it all in).

you blink, and now suddenly you're seated as he spoon-feeds you a nice, hearty breakfast, huffing something like messy girl when toast crumbs get all over your face and the wooden table.

words can't express how flustered you are; you're too stunned to even continue telling the big man who's now feeding you scrambled eggs that he needs to leave. all you feel like you're capable of doing is opening your mouth to accept another spoonful, ignoring the ache you feel between your thighs when you catch his heavy stare and hear a low hum of approval.

then he's leaving (and it's not because of your nagging), muttering something about having to work those mutts to the bone today, all while you're trying to make sense of what's happening. he gives you a sloppy kiss to silence your questions and exasperation, one that makes you feel hot all over and almost melt into a puddle had it not been for the firm grip he had on your ass.

he licks his lips when he pulls back, eyes darting to where your shirt just barely covers where he'd rather be all day than having to go and train recruits. he stares for an uncomfortably long time and before you can speak up, face growing a little hot from the tension, he's turning around to finally leave.

before the door shuts, he says, "be a good girl, ay? see you tonight, birdie."

you're left with your thoughts and feelings of dread and anxiety. there definitely isn't any underlying interest or anything; the freak has fucked your brain out of your head, that's all. you're sure he didn't even mean it anyway. maybe. hopefully.

a drop of his come rolls down your thigh, and arousal shame burns through you. since when did you let one-night stands finish in you?

(your so-called one-night stand came home hungry and pissed, so worked up that he dragged you over to the nearest surface and played with you for a good hour. by the time you had half the mind to tell him about the dinner in the oven—your eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets at how much money he had sent you for groceries earlier, nevermind how he got ahold of your account details—he grunted and finally gave your poor pussy a break, scarred mug all slick and flushed.)

good luck when he takes you to meet his mates at the bar a week later, the same bar you brought him home from; the comments from them make you wish a hole in the ground would just swallow you right up.

"pretty thing ye caught, lt," johnny grins, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. he's a bit over the top, ogles your chest too hard, but overall he's... alright. you'd probably notice how perverted he really was if you actually looked at him longer than a few fleeting glances, but his stare is kind of unnerving.

kyle—perfection personified—hums in agreement, a warm smile on his face that puts you at ease. somehow you don't pick up on the ulterior motive behind his gaze running over your body, eyes roaming over your chest more discreetly than johnny but just as appreciative. "pretty indeed. you don't mind sharing, do you ghost?" kyle teases, pretty eyes glancing over at simon, who only huffs at that and shakes his head (much to your confusion).

who the fuck is ghost? you only know big guy and simon.

there's a deep chuckle and your focus flits over to the man seated in front of you, captain john price. if you thought simon was scary, john's a man who demands respect and attention just by being in his presence. "you chose the wrong dog to bring home," john hums, voice deep and gravelly and making you shamefully squeeze your thighs together.

"but that's alright, sweetheart. you have three others now, yeah?" the purr that comes out of his mouth is sinful, and when you nod and stammer out a yes, sir as if you were one of his soldiers and not the sweet girl that simon has brought to his captain, looking for approval of his newest toy, he only smiles.

simon's hand squeezes your thigh underneath the table, trailing upwards, and you're slowly understanding what it is that you've gotten yourself into.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Evan: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why.

Barty: Only if you don't ask why.

Barty: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of his bag* Choose one.

Evan:

Barty:

Evan: This one will do.

[thisismisogynoir]

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

[communistkenobi]

re: that gamete article, I think what’s also compelling to anti-trans activists is that gametes are invisible - it’s the same reason why debates about chromosomes are persuasive, they are imperceptible in all social interactions outside of a doctor’s office, and so counter-intuitively they can be argued as being always visible, always seeping out through our pours as a gendered essence that cannot be concealed or changed. actually being able to look at your individual gametes or chromosomes is gated behind medical institutions, and because of this inaccessibility they can be loaded with all kinds of social and political meaning, converted into a mystical essence contained within the body that imbues you with a gendered spirit. this is why I don’t think we should ever concede that transphobes are making biological arguments - they are using the authority of evolutionary and medical biology to do gender metaphysics, it’s a deliberate mystification of scientific authority for reactionary political goals. they aren’t making scientific claims and they aren’t trying to

[lady-raziel]

hilarious that with each new day that passes a new bit of dirt from JD Vance's past gets discovered and plastered over the internet...it's almost as if this is why presidential campaigns have always announced their running mates well before the convention...so that if glaring issues with a candidate came to light quickly there would be time to replace them on the ticket before they were officially locked in...it's almost as if certain things in political campaigns were done for a reason, donald...because the very same critical failures had happened before...but no i'm sure you and your guys attempt to recreate a fantasy version of history while ignoring all the reasons that history was a disaster will work this time...because you are built different and the 10000th time trying fascism will work like a charm...

[tswwwit]

Bless that trophy wife anon because they’re right. There’s no way mindscape citizens see whatever dipper does in the real world as a real career and he has no job in bill’s realm either, whether he likes it or not he’s entwined with bill’s world and his people and he can’t blame them for thinking his job is being bill’s husband.

That’s what pisses him off, the fact that they’re right.

No matter how Dipper protests that yes, he DOES have a job, the beings in the Fearamid don't believe it's 'real', or worse - humor him, then give Knowing Looks to the other demons in the room.

Meanwhile, Bill knows it's real - but sometimes he plays along like it isn't just to piss Dipper off.

[dykedvonte]

Ulysses obsession with the Courier is a special type of sad to me cause the Courier’s part was so important but so unwitting. They had no idea what was in the package they delivered and neither did he. Neither had an idea of what it could’ve done and the Courier was only caring out their job (mind you the Courier could be killed via notes in the express contract if they don’t). To them it was just another regular delivery to the divide and one that they likely thought would help, just like all the ones before.

It’s so tragic for Ulysses to hold so much ire to the Courier when it really was the case of it could’ve been anyone. Anyone could have delivered that package but they did and so he focused the blame on them and it destroys what he is trying to instill in the courier on a fundamental level.

[storytellering]

⛓️ alt Credo commission ⛓️

[bitethedevil]

feeling an increasing urge to write a Raph’zel fic

[cherriegyuu]

this whole newjeans things is just so weird… why do they keep taking a bullet for min hee jin? why is a grow ass woman hiding behind teenagers?

[bitchthefuck1]

That one chef saying that the worst thing about a bad boss is how they unlock that behavior in you and seeing Carmy mirror the attitude of the chef that terrorized him and gave him panic attacks and then ending the season with Syd having a panic attack because of the stress of working with Carmy...diabolical.

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

So, how would Vanny react seeing Perky alive and well, Right after stabbing them the other night.

Perkeo's been veeeeeeery careful about not getting badly hurt in front of people while working in the pizzaplex, that includes the weird furry that is not sneaky at all and bluntly carries a knife around (note: that does not equals to them not being one reckless stupid mf)

That said, when they found out about the correlation between Vanny and Vanessa, boy were they mad and wanted to mess with her

They let her land a hit — not a vital one, that would be annoying, just a scratch to their cheek or somewhere visible (then dipping right after because no, they are not dealing with this rn without a least a whole bag of sundrops on their system. Running was usually their go-to with her)

The next day Vanessa looked like she was about to lose her goddamn mind when she saw the skin perfectly healed and couldn't even find any video proof that anything happened (There was a signal blocker or whatever the name being used)

One time Vanessa did manage to hurt them more badly and they gaslit the shit out of her the day after

Either way my girlie was NOT having a good time while dealing with that blue haired twink, if glitchtrap didn't drive her insane dealing with Perkeo would for sure

Especially because that little menace was ruining all her plans somehow when it came to Moon and she had NO CLUE how because she ordered that bot to kill them like 50 different times and yet the next day they would offer her a coffee and the one time she went to look they were just throwing a virus-controlled Moon over their shoulder into a pile of pillows like he weighted nothing and that was one of the most disturbing views she had all day

[deoidesign]

Guys you're not gonna believe this. The books are wrong again

At least this time I didn't even get half of them and half of what I did get was damaged...? So I only have another 70 books to deal with... This time they're soft touch......

I've got so many of book 2 it's not even funny

[delta-piscium]

Eddie does become quite famous for his music and that means he sometimes has to go to these mind numbing events where people will sneer at him until they recognize who he is, then they’ll suddenly pretend they’re old friends, they’ll ask for concert tickets and backstage passes

he mostly hates them but whenever Steve is able to come he’s so god damn excited. Steve’s parents used to drag him along to their business events and even though it’s different industries it’s all the same. Steve knows these crowds, he grew up with them and they bring out the bitchiest upper middle class version of him, a Steve who has passive aggression and faux politeness down to an art

Eddie will watch on in delighted awe as his husband, all while smiling mildly and sipping wine, destroys people. just cuts into them and also making everything sound nice, innocuous. Most of them don’t even realize it’s happening they just suddenly find themselves gaping, searching for words, as they’re backed into a corner

and Steve will look at them, tilt his head and wait them out, but before they get the chance to backtrack he’ll hum, shrug and walk away, Eddie on his heel asking if he wants to get out of there, like right now? or maybe find a bathroom?