tak3mealiv3

[tak3mealiv3]

"You know, some people say my persistence is part of my charm," Xander said, grinning. But as Scarlett started to speak, to get her own thoughts and feelings and reservations out, he grew quiet. He waned to hear her out, the same way she heard him out as he got to his knees in the wet grass and spilled his soul out to her. At least now they were on the same level. He wanted to hear her out, now that she was actually sharing how she felt. It was a rare moment, and it was a once in a lifetime moment, and it was happening in the grass in front of his cousin's wedding. Where he just caused a scene. By punching his best friend in the face. Over a girl. Xander could have easily let the moment sink in, and let the panic hit him. But instead he continued to listen to Scarlett, grinning as she finally told him what he wanted to hear. "Yeah? You will?" Xander let out a sigh, tilting his head back up towards the sky once more. "Of course, of course no take backs. I'll be here. I'll be here in whatever capacity you want me to be. I can't promise I won't try to get you to at least...tell me what you're dealing with, but I will promise that I will stand back and let you solve the problem yourself, with no attempts to do it for you or try to help you. I will simply be emotional support." He brought her in closer to him, wrapping his arms around him and letting out another deep, relieved sigh, before pulling back. "I love you, too. I really, really do. More than I thought I was capable of myself. After so long loving one person, then having my heart just...completely devastated by that person, I didn't think I was able to love anyone the same way I loved her. And I don't. It's so much more than that. It's so much better than that. And I'll spend every day trying to prove it to you, I promise." When Scarlett picked up his bruised hand, Xander looked down, wincing just slightly as her thumb made contact. "Well, I appreciate the compliment," he said. "But he deserved it. And I'll definitely get chewed out for it later, but it felt good. He had it coming." Or maybe he wouldn't. Xander suspected that his sisters would cover for him, and Charlotte would likely be the one to inevitably fill everyone in on what was going on. She was good like that. Slowly, Xander nodded, and he got to his feet, pulling Scarlett along with him. "Yeah, let's go."

Scarlett let out a shaky breath, her lips twitching at the corner despite the tears still falling freely. “You are a rich idiot,” she said softly, her voice hoarse, “And annoyingly persistent. Like, the kind of guy I’d normally roll my eyes at and avoid like the damn plague.” Her attempt at a smile faltered almost immediately, giving way to something more vulnerable—raw. She sniffled, her hands tightening in the fabric of Xander's shirt like it was the only thing anchoring her to the ground. “But you scared the shit out of me, Xander. You still do.” Her voice cracked again. “Because no one’s ever stuck around. No one’s ever looked at me and said, ‘Yeah, she’s fucked up, but I want her anyway.’” She lowered her head for a second, cheeks hot with shame and emotion, before forcing herself to meet his eyes again. “I’ve spent so long believing that love wasn’t meant for people like me. That it was something I could sell, fake, pretend—but never actually feel. And then you came into my life with that dumb grin and your stupid big heart, and made me feel things I didn’t even know I could feel.” Her voice wobbled dangerously as she tried to hold it together. “And I’ve been fighting it, pushing you away like I always do, because it’s easier to leave first than it is to be left behind. But you didn’t let me go. Not even once. You stayed.” Scarlett leaned forward until her forehead was pressed to his, her eyes fluttering shut like she was bracing herself for the weight of the words she’d held in for too long. “So, maybe you really are an idiot,” she whispered. “But you’re my idiot. And if you’re actually serious about this—about me—then… Okay. I’ll try.” Scarlett pulled back just enough to see Xander’s face, her lips trembling as she gave him a look that was equal parts terrified and hopeful. “But you better mean it. No take-backs. No fixing me. Just… Hold my hand when I fall apart. And maybe bring snacks when I’m high.” A tear slipped down her cheek as her voice dropped to a whisper. “Because I do love you, Xander. In that overwhelming, all-consuming way that makes no sense and hurts like hell. And I think I’ve been loving you for a while now—I just didn’t know how to say it until now.” Scarlett pulled back then without waiting for an answer, eyes scanning Xander's face, but quickly dropped her gaze to his injured hand, frowning as she turned it gently in hers. ���You really clocked him, didn’t you?” she muttered, soft but impressed, her voice still thick with emotion. “Stupid as hell. But kind of hot.” Scarlett blinked up at him, her expression shifting into something softer, more grounded. “C’mon,” she said quietly, rubbing her thumb gently along the edge of his bruised knuckles. “Let’s get out of here. Let’s go back to the hotel so I can clean this up, okay? I’m kind of done crying in fancy grass at a rich person’s wedding.” She swallowed hard, still holding his hand tightly, but held a slightly amused grin. “Let me take care of you for a change.”

[tak3mealiv3]

"Then let me love you in the way you deserve to be loved." It was like music to Xander's ears, hearing that Scarlett returned his feelings. It was this moment that he had been hoping for, and while it was definitely not in the setting he expected, at the very least it was something that he longed to hear. "Because you do deserve it. I know how hard things have been for you, and how hard things will continue to be for you. But think of how much you've done. Just therapy and a new job is huge for you, I know that. When we met all those months ago, when you told me the last thing you ever wanted to do was listen to me, that you didn't want anything to do with me, I told you that I would be around to help you. No matter what. Whether that was simply helping you myself, or pointing you in the direction of someone else. I'm here for you, and I'm going to be here for you for as long as you want me to be." Xander brushed more tears out of Scarlett's eyes, and he made a silent promise to himself that he wouldn't ever be the source of her tears ever again. Not like this. Happiness, maybe, but definitely not so devastating. "Honestly, I'm just happy that you think positively about me in any way at all," he said, cracking a half smile for his attempt at a joke. "It hasn't always been like that. In fact, I'm pretty sure you called me a rich idiot not that long ago." But believe me when I say that I could hear you call me an idiot every damn day and it would be the best thing I've ever heard." He leaned forward, his head resting on top of hers. "Just give me a chance, sweetheart," he said, his voice low. "If you'll have me, I promise we'll make it work. Just you and me. Who gives a fuck about what anyone else says."

Scarlett still couldn't make sense of any of his. Her head felt incredibly heavy and it was taking what little strength she had to keep herself upright, to keep from collapsing to the ground. Everything around her felt distorted, despite still trying her best to pay attention to everything that Xander was saying. And she couldn't help leaning into his touch when she felt his hands on her face, helping to dry her tears. But it was no use, anyway, because they just kept on coming even though her attempts at trying to stop them. She could sense there were people nearby and she probably looked embarrassing as hell, but honestly, it was the least of her concerns right now. Scarlett couldn't even fight Xander anymore when he pulled her down onto her knees to be more at level with him, and even though her vision was blurry from the tears, she still did her best to look him in the eyes while he was pouring his heart out to her. "I'm mentally unwell, Xander," Scarlett finally spoke when Xander was finished, her voice shaking with fear. "I've been so sick my whole life and I know I've been trying to fix it with therapy and getting myself out of my old jobs, but I can't put you through it anymore than I already have. I know it has been exhausting from the moment we met. You don't deserve that. I know I'm a lot to handle and I know I'm not the easiest person to love, it's why I don't bother with relationships and it's why I think you deserve someone that doesn't come with as much baggage, trauma, and emotional and mental damage as I do." Even though Scarlett was saying all of this, her heart was telling her the opposite. Every word out of her mouth scraped against what her heart was screaming: Don’t push him away. Don’t let this be another goodbye. In fact, she could also hear it screaming at her to shut the fuck up and tell him that she felt the same way about him, but it wasn't easy for her to do so. The thought of loving him out loud was fucking terrifying. If she was going to say anything at all, she needed to give herself a few minutes to prepare for it. Scarlett then looked to the ground underneath her, squeezing her eyes shut just as more tears cascaded down her reddened cheeks. Taking a few deep breaths, she pulled her eyes back open to look at him once more. "I love you, too, Xander. I really do. I have for the longest time," she finally admitted, her voice shaking once more, "But I don't know if I am capable of loving you the way you deserve to be loved."

[tak3mealiv3]

"Yes, I do." Xander reached up, quickly wiping away the tears that were spilling down her cheeks with his thumbs, keeping her face in his hands. "Yes, I can and yes, I do. From the minute you showed up on my doorstep. I didn't realize it then, or maybe I just thought that I couldn't love someone so soon after ending a long term relationship. But I did, and I do love you. Come here." He lowered his arms then, taking her hands and gently easing her to the ground, so that she was kneeling opposite him. "I know that you have been through a lot in your life. I'm not trying to be some savior that thinks they can swoop in and be some male savior and try to rescue you from whatever damsel in distress situation, because you are not a damsel in distress. Not by a long shot. It's one of the things I love most about you. You take charge and take no shit and you have done so much work for yourself, not because I thought you should, but because you thought you should. I'm sure that's what it must have felt like, at the beginning. But that's the last thing I've ever wanted to do. You are so fucking strong and so fucking resilient, you don't need me for anything. It's all you." Xander took another deep breath. He was going to keep going, while he still had her attention. "There is still so much that we have to learn about each other, and that's okay. I am willing to do that learning, I am willing to put in that work. What I am not willing to do is let you go, Scarlett. Not for a minute. I would understand if you wanted to run away, or never talk to me again, or something like that. But I have been nothing but honest and truthful with you and how I feel up until this point, and I have no intention of stopping now. So believe me, and believe what I know is in your heart, when I tell you that I love you more than I could ever possibly describe, even though I just did, for the most part." He exhaled, tilting his head back towards the sky. In the background, he could hear his mother trying to get his attention, and his sister trying to get her to go away, but he knew his time was running out. Whatever Scarlett's decision about him was, he needed to face the music.

Scarlett couldn’t stop the tears from falling. She was sure her makeup was probably smeared all over her face in long streaks, but it didn’t matter because she didn’t plan on going back into the reception. And Xander could tell her it wasn’t her fault until he was blue in the face, but there was no way she’d believe him otherwise. It was her fault, point blank. “It’s my fault,” Scarlett repeated again, only quieter this time. Maybe if she said it more quietly, he’d just let her take the fall for it and believe that everything was truly her fault. All because of the fact that she used to work as a stripper and got paid to have sex on the side with strangers. The problem was that Scarlett didn’t want to listen to Xander. She wanted to run away from the life she was starting to build, and never come back. She wanted the security of her old job and her old routine. She wanted to live in her own misery again, as he once put it to her in the heat of an argument. But even despite feeling that way, there was something that was rooting her to the ground. Her feet felt like they were glued to the grass underneath them, or rather, they were frozen in place. Scarlett found herself hearing him out, sniffling quietly every now and then, and once again angrily wiping her tears away. Or at least, she tried to. Because the second Xander said he was in love with her, it felt like all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. She felt dizzy, like she’d collapse in seconds if he wasn’t already holding on to her. It just didn’t feel possible… Who could ever love her? Nobody did. Not her sisters, not even her own dead parents. Nobody in her past relationships ever truly loved her, either. Scarlett had never once been able to experience true love in all aspects of her life, so she couldn’t believe that someone was capable of being able to love her. She shook her head profusely just as more tears fell, attempting to pull herself out of his tight grip once more. But as expected, he refused again. All she wanted to do was go home. “You don’t love me,” Scarlett finally spoke, voice quieter than a whisper. “You can’t love me.”

[tak3mealiv3]

"None of it is your fault!" Xander was quick to attempt to reassure Scarlett, though he knew it would be difficult to do so. Anything that Scarlett put her mind to, it was unlikely to change. But he wanted, no, he needed her to understand that it was different this time. Xander looked down at the ground, before looking back up at Scarlett, letting go of her hips but only to take her hands. "What happened in there was my choice. I could have very easily told Conner to back off and walked away, I could have come to step in and explained properly, but instead I let my temper get the better of me. I'm the one that fucked it up and will be answering for it. It's my family and my choice, not yours." He took a deep breath, than another. It was time to lay it out all on the table. It had been building up to this for months, really, and every time Xander felt like he wanted to say something about it or blurt it out, something held him back. If this was going to be the last time Scarlett was going to be in his life, he wanted to tell her everything. "Scarlett, sweetheart. I need you to listen to me. I mean actually really listen to me. Because I'm only going to say this once, and if you want, you can walk out of my life forever when I'm done. But believe me that is the last thing I want. You have not ruined my life. You have enhanced it in the best way possible. And I have spent weeks trying not to go all in on how I truly feel because I know that it wasn't something you were ready for the last time we talked about it. But I am so fucking crazy about you, sweetheart. I am so fucking in love with you, I don't even know what to do with myself half the time." Xander took another deep breath. "You walk into a room or you text me and my heart goes a bajillion miles an hour, my throat gets so tight, I don't even remember my own name half the time. You are the only person I want to see every fucking day of my life, and I see my family every day. You are so fucking special. You are smart and funny and can run with the best of them. I don't give a shit about what you used to do for a job, or the things you had to do to survive. I care about you because you are brilliant and so fucking incredible, and I am so god damn in love with you, I-" Xander swallowed, until he finally hung his head, almost ashamed. "I understand if you want to leave, and never speak to me again, but I...I jut needed to get that off my chest."

It felt so pathetic, really. Watching Xander get on his knees and practically beg Scarlett not to leave him. Like her leaving him would be the worst thing that’s ever happened to him. When she has dealt with far worse in her life. Almost like he wasn’t even understanding why she wasn’t meant to be here or even meant to change her life at all. She swallowed hard, refusing to look at him as tears continued to effortlessly slide down her cheeks. “I’m someone that’s always going to be haunted by their past, no matter what. No matter how hard I work to try and shed that part of me, it’s always gonna come back to me — one way or another.” Shaking her head, Scarlett once again tried to free herself of Xander’s grip, but he was much too strong and he pulled her right back to where she was. “The whole thing that just happened right now is my fucking fault. I just ruined someone’s beautiful wedding that they probably spent months or even years perfecting, only for some random ass fucking prostitute to ruin it all because you can’t keep your damn hands to yourself!” Scarlett did what she could to try and get Xander off of her, this time, resorting to shoving him away. But as per usual, his strength was no match for her weakness. “I can’t do this,” she cried, arms now going fully limp by her sides. Scarlett was now ready to throw in the towel, too tired and too weak to keep fighting him any more. “And you can tell me all these things all you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve just been sitting here playing house with you the entire time. It was fun to imagine what my life could possibly be like if I never turned out the way that I did. But we both know I can’t be here anymore. I can't be the reason your family's reputation is tarnished.” And every time she said it, she swore her heart broke a little more each time. Scarlett spent so many months trying to convince herself she didn’t have feelings for Xander, that she wasn’t good enough to be in any kind of relationship because of her past. And for what? All because she just wanted to protect herself from the inevitable heartbreak, and the inevitable emotional or physical turmoil she always experienced. However, once she came to realize it was never going to be like that with Xander, there was no going back. Scarlett loved him. She was in love with him. It was smacking her right in the face as she watched Xander defend her from one of his closest friends. And now, right here in front of her — on his knees while he begged her not to leave him. Scarlett just couldn’t find it in her to actually say the words out loud — afraid of what it would possibly change between them.

[tak3mealiv3]

"Oh you guess, huh?" Carter's expression still matched Jamie's as she settled comfortably onto his lap. "Well, I guess we can pretend the strings don't exist. Just one more time." She gripped his face in her hands, gently scraping her nails down the sides of his face. "As long as I get fucked on every surface possible."

"Well, actually, I have an idea." It was impossible to resist the grin on his face now, especially when he sneakily reached over to pull Carter into his lap with ease. "How about we have one more no strings fuck before we start with all the strings and shit? You know... Just for shits and giggles, I guess."

[tak3mealiv3]

Xander could do nothing but listen as Scarlett unraveled. It broke his heart to see her like this, knowing that there was nothing he could try to do until she stopped talking. Xander had spent weeks, hell, months, with Scarlett, trying to get her to see that she deserved more than the life she had been living. He was so proud of her for the progress she made: getting another job, going to therapy. She was working her ass off to change out of her mindset, and Conner had completely reversed all that progress with one devastating line. Xander had half a mind to punch him again, but he was sure his family was already furious with him for causing such a scene. And maybe he should have felt bad, but he didn't. The only thing he cared about right now was Scarlett. Especially when she accused him of feeling the way that she thought he did, that she was nothing more than a hooker to him. "Is that what you think I think of you?" Of everything that Scarlett had thrown his way, every insult, every moment of resistance to his praise, every everything, this hurt the most. "Scarlett." Xander got down on his knees, the wet grass seeping into the fabric of his suit pants, but he didn't care. He gripped her hips and pulled Scarlett closer to him. "If that's what you think I think of you, than you don't know me at all. From the minute I met you on my front porch, I...everything changed. Maybe you were meant to be some joke hire by Conner, but you have ended up being...the greatest gift I could have ever gotten." He squeezed her hips a little tighter, in case she decided to run off. "You are sharp, and funny, and you have changed the way I look at the world, and I mean that. No one has ever knocked me on my ass the way you have, make me look at my own life the way you have, and made me realize that I am more than just the things I buy for people and the connections I have. I know you like to tell me I'm wrong and tell me that you're nothing, but that is far from the truth, it is far from how I feel about you. I know that, and you know that." He swallowed, looking up at the sky and trying to blink away tears. "You have become such an important part of my life and I-I don't know what I would do without you, sweetheart. You need to know that. I don't give a fuck what anyone in there thinks. You are everything. You are everything to me, and you have to understand that." He brought her just a little closer, his face sinking into her chest. Xander took a deep, shuddering breath. "I can't lose you."

Scarlett thought stepping in-between them would be enough to get them to stop. But when Xander moved her out of the way, she felt defeated. Embarrassed. Ashamed. She had no idea why she thought it was a good idea to try and stop him when it was obvious he was set out to do whatever the hell he wanted to do. She needed to get out of there, for real this time. No more letting him cloud her judgement. No more opening herself up to the possibility of getting hurt again. This whole altercation and interaction was enough to hit her where it hurt the most. And just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, Scarlett watched in horror as Xander decked Conner right in the face — causing her to jump nearly ten feet out of her own damn skin. The only time she saw him get even remotely violent was when he came to rescue her at the hotel where she was meeting with a new client. And even then, that seemed mild compared to this. Scarlett quietly excused herself to Charlotte, who was now trying to hold her back, but she had to leave. For good this time. She felt like she was suffocating in there and could no longer stand being in the same room with Xander. Let alone, with his family. That now knew everything about who she was all because one of his friends decided to be a fucking idiot. The same part of her that both Scarlett and Xander tried to keep hidden from everyone. There were still tears streaming down Scarlett's face as she walked faster than she had earlier, which allowed her to get further away from the venue than she did the first time. She was dead set on leaving Xander and the life she was somewhat trying to build behind. But she should've known that someone was going to come after her again; she just didn't expect it would have been Xander this time. Considering he seemed much more focused on knocking Conner out. Angrily, Scarlett pulled her hand out of his grip and spun around to face him — unable to keep her tears at bay as she began to unleash hell on him, "You fucking heard him, Xander! You heard him! You know what he said!" She sobbed, furiously wiping at her eyes. "I'm not meant to be here. I never was. And I think you know that just as well as I do. I don't belong in... Whatever fucking circle you're apart of. I'll always be the stripper who worked at the club where you went for a bachelor party, I'll always be the hooker that your fucking asshole of a friend jokingly hired me for your birthday. That's all I'm ever gonna be to you and to everyone else in that gooddamn venue."

[tak3mealiv3]

"An unintended bonus," Carter said, grinning at Jamie in return. "Obviously, I'm not saying the sex has to stop completely, and our night time visits don't have to stop completely either. But the more like...regular people stuff we incorporate into it, the more it will feel like we're actually trying to get to know each other instead of trying to just fuck after fighting."

"Or, I think you just want to see me shirtless and sweaty after a good workout. You don't have to deny it." Jamie couldn't hide the smug little grin on his face as he spoke. Here he was insinuating sex, yet Carter was doing everything in her power to explain that they needed to make more effort outside of just having sex with each other. It was definitely going to be an adjustment because sex was all they knew; it was just how they operated. But still, Jamie was willing to try. "Okay, I'm sorry. But I understand. I'm willing to try if you are."

[tak3mealiv3]

Xander was aware that Conner was trying to explain himself, or at the very least, trying to talk his way into his typical 'bro' nonsense. Xander wasn't having it this time. He had completely blacked out, continuing to get in Conner's face. In a haze, he could hear multiple people call his name. His mother, his sister Carter. Scarlett. He was also mildly aware of Scarlett trying to step in between him and Conner. It was almost enough to soothe him, to right himself. But the last thing he wanted was Conner even breathing anywhere near her, so he quickly (but still gently) nudged her out of the way, and he he could see out of the corner of his eye Charlotte pulling her back. All the while he could do nothing but focus on Conner in front of him, his hands now tight in his friend's suit jacket as he pressed him up against a nearby wall. "You don't fucking talk to her that way. You don't talk about her that way. You leave her the fuck alone, understand?" Xander slammed him against the wall again, watching as his friend squirmed helplessly with grim satisfaction. "She does not exist to you. You do not look at her. You do not talk to her." He should have done this ages ago, when he first learned that Charlotte and Conner broke up. He should have been there for his sister, knowing how much of a tool his best friend could be. "If I ever catch you breathing in her fucking direction again, it'll be the worst day of your life. Do you understand?" He waited until Conner nodded, then he slowly unknotted his fingers, letting Conner's feet drop to the floor. There was still a roar in his ears, though somewhere he could hear Charlotte praising him, encouraging him to knock Conner out. Xander shook his head and backed up, loosening his tie. "Yeah, wouldn't want to make a scene in front of the family and your hooker, would you?" With a heavy thump, Conner was on the ground, and Xander's hand was red, and he was sure his knuckles would either bleed or bruise in days to come. But whatever. He could hear his sister cheering, but he couldn't hear or see Scarlett. He glanced around the room, ignoring the horrified looks on the guests' faces. When he looked at Charlotte, she gestured towards the exit, and Xander immediately took off, ignoring the way his family and friends tried to stop him as he chased after Scarlett, finally managing to catch her right at the front of the venue. "Hey, hey, hold on a minute." Xander took a deep breath, using the back of his hand to wipe the sweat threatening to drip off his forehead and into his eyes. He reached for Scarlett's hand, trying to get her to face him. "What did he say to you? Are you okay?"

Scarlett didn't know how much further away from the venue she got. She swore she could hear one of Xander's sisters following after her and calling out her name, too, but any background noise sounded distorted through her crying, so she couldn't make out who exactly it was. She stopped running, if only for a moment, just to catch her breath. Though, when she did, Scarlett was finally able to make out that there was some kind of commotion going on back at the venue. When she turned around to figure out what was going on, it didn't take her long to realize it was Xander going after Conner. She could only assume he somehow caught her running away, or at the very least, the unpleasant exchange she had with Conner. Blonde curls were pushed out of Scarlett's face as she reached down to clutch the hem of her long, floral dress in her hands, her fingers gripping the fabric like it was the only thing grounding her. Then, she made a split-second decision to walk right back over to where she came from; completely disregarding who she then realized was Carter that was running after her to where Xander and Conner were. Scarlett let her dress drop before moving in-between the two men who were arguing, in hopes they'd stop and avoid causing a scene. "Xander, stop. It's not worth it. Please, just leave it alone." Though she was still crying, Scarlett hoped her pleading was enough for him to stop.

"Xander? Why the hell is Scarlett running away?" Carter paused, watching as Scarlett made a beeline for the exit. Once they were given the all clear to step away from taking photos with the rest of the family, she did what any logical person would do and decided to run after her to see if she could figure out what had happened. She could only assume something Conner said had likely upset Scarlett; she just wasn't sure why. Carter hated him; she didn't like him when he dated her sister, and she certainly didn't like him now if he was upsetting someone else that meant a lot to their family. "Scarlett! Hey, what's wrong?!" Carter yelled, hopeful she could get the blonde's attention. For a split second, she thought she had when she stopped running, but then, she turned around and ran right past her again. Carter was determined to figure out what the hell was going on, even if no one was telling her what was happening. She charged back into the venue, but stopped when she saw what was happening between her brother, Scarlett, and Conner, "Xander, what the hell?!"

[tak3mealiv3]

From the get go, Xander had been nervous about inviting Scarlett to the wedding. It was a big deal for them, relationship wise. At least, whatever it was that they were. Even still, he had every right to be concerned. It was the first time that Scarlett was around his family, and though Scarlett's job as Charlotte's assistant was a good thing to talk to people about, they did have to fabricate how they met at the first place. But that was fine. As long as Xander didn't leave her side, which he hadn't. Any time he needed to, one of his sisters swooped in to make sure that she was never alone. Thankfully, the evening was going well so far. Xander was mostly happy that Scarlett seemed to be enjoying herself. He was worried that she would find it a little overwhelming, surrounded by all these people that she didn't know, at a price that would make her eyes bulge out of her head. But she seemed to be having a good time, and Xander was determined to keep it that way. That was until he had to be pulled away for photos. It had been happening, on and off, for the past hour. He was in the wedding, and related to the groom, so it made sense. But for every session, he was able to make sure one of his sisters or Danny stood with Charlotte, to make sure that no one approached her without someone there by her side. But this time it was different. It was a family photo, for both sides, which meant that Xander had to be there. He promised Scarlett he'd be right back, and though he was walking towards the area where they were taking photos, he tried his best to keep his eyes on her the entire time. Which is how he watched, almost like a car crash, as Conner approached her. Xander was sure if he was closer, he would see the way his eyes lit up with recognition. Conner would be the only one to know Scarlett the way Xander did, having hired her for his birthday. As he posed for the photo, he watched the way Scarlett's body language changed, a fake smile frozen in place as he watched almost in horror while Scarlett started walking away. Xander's mind went blank. As soon as he was given the all clear to step away, Xander charged towards Conner, his hands balled into fists as he shoved Conner towards the bar without thinking, jaw tight. "What the fuck did you say to her, man? What the fuck is your problem?"

closed to: @tak3mealiv3

It was Scarlett's first time attending a wedding, more or less with an actual date, and suffice to say, she was actually enjoying herself. For once, her mind wasn't wandering off into a dark place. For once, she could smile and laugh without worrying about anything else going on in her life. She was simply living in the moment and loving every single minute of it. Scarlett was worried she wouldn't feel welcomed at the wedding considering she didn't know anybody besides Xander, his siblings and parents, but everyone was super nice to her and she couldn't have been more relieved. After a song that Scarlett and Xander were dancing to, he informed her he was going to take pictures with his family, which she was a little on edge about being left alone with no one else to talk to or interact with. But she didn't want to keep him away from his family, so she sucked it up and made her way to the open bar after Xander left her to get another drink. A tequila sunrise, it was always her favorite. Scarlett quietly thanked the bartender for making her drink, then started to walk away, but was abruptly stopped by someone she didn't recognize. She parted her lips to speak, but the man quickly stopped her again. "Aren't you the prostitute I hired for Xander's birthday?" He asked, and right then, Scarlett knew exactly who it was. Fucking Conner. She was sure her face was as white as a ghost just at the sheer mention of her previous job as a full-service sex worker, but it was the term he used that ultimately upset her. She shook her head, eyes cast downward to the drink in her hand before she squeezed them shut so the tears that quickly formed wouldn't fall. "N-No... I—" She started, but was cut off by Conner again. "Did he hire you again? Damn, dude's finally getting lucky tonight." That was the last straw for Scarlett. Instead of answering him, she set her drink down somewhere and quickly darted for the exit out of the venue with tears streaming down her face. Scarlett didn't know exactly where she was going, but what she did know was that she didn't belong there. She never did. This life wasn't for her, Xander deserved someone better than her.

[tak3mealiv3]

"Well, there's nothing wrong with like...finding time to squeeze each other in. Like if we each have a free hour for lunch, we could grab it together. Or we could both work out at the gym at the same time. Little things like that." She shifted in her seat, looking at him. "I just think that if we really want to make it work we have to try to like...put energy into it, you know? Make the effort outside of just the nights when all we do is have sex."

"Well, sometimes it's hard for us to find time to hangout during the day because we both work during the day. For long hours, might I add," he shrugged. Jamie wasn't sure how they'd be able to work around it, unless there was ever a time when they had off days. Which wasn't often, even during the offseason. "But I can at least agree to everything else."

[tak3mealiv3]

"Well, there's hanging out on a more regular basis for one. And not at night, like actually out and about during the day. We have to be more effective at telling each other what's bothering us. Getting to know each other better, our likes and dislikes and stuff. Actually make a solid effort to enjoy each other's company, and not just for sex, though there will be plenty of that too." Carter's nose crinkled at the mention of the other girl Jamie was seeing, and she quickly shook her head. "None of that, either. We purely focus on each other."

"Okay," Jamie nodded in agreement. That felt simple enough. He only hoped they could do that without their persistent issues getting in the way. "How do we do that, then? I really haven't done this sort of thing in so long. You know who doesn't even count, either, because her and I barely knew each other."

[tak3mealiv3]

Carter nodded along as Jamie spoke, the whole time rubbing her thumb against the back of his hand. Admittedly, it didn't hurt as much as she thought it would hearing Jamie that he didn't know how to answer her question. They had jumped from constant emotional turmoil to love to devastating consequences in the span of a short time, and they hadn't exactly had time to properly sort out how to even like each other, let alone be in a loving relationship. "I feel the same way," she said. "I love you, I don't want to be with anyone else. I'm fine with not labelling anything, I think we need to just take the time to...properly get to know each other without being at each other's throats all the time. We jumped the gun pretty fast."

"I don't know if I can answer that truthfully, but—" Jamie cut himself off, only to reach out for Carter's hand to intertwine their fingers together. "I did mean it when I said I loved you. I'd never say that just for the fuck of it. Or saying it just to tell you what you wanted to hear. It wouldn't have taken me all this time to admit it to you and to myself if I didn't mean it. But I think... No, I know I don't want to see anyone else. Not now, not ever. Just maybe... We don't put a label on anything and we both don't see other people. It feels like that's the first step for us to stop hurting each other so much."

[tak3mealiv3]

"Is a relationship what you even want?" She leaned into the couch, looking over at him. "I feel like we should start with that first."

"I've been tired all my life," Jamie said, lifting his shoulders into a shrug. "But clearly, we have a lot of problems with each other that I don't know how we're supposed to fix. How are we supposed to be in a relationship with all these issues?"

[tak3mealiv3]

"Yeah, yeah I guess we do. Thank you for letting me come by so late, I'm sure you must be tired."

closed to: @tak3mealiv3

"So... I guess we have some things to talk about."

[tak3mealiv3]

It was like a fever dream. Usually, every time Carter came to Jamie's place, she hardly ever made it into the kitchen, much less upstairs to Jamie's room. She wanted to spend every moment looking at all the details, the pictures on the walls, what color the upstairs walls were painted, how many doors there were and what they could lead to. But obviously, none of that mattered in the moment, what mattered was that she was being taken upstairs. Into Jamie's bedroom. Carter felt her heart beating in her throat, knowing that there was so much she wanted to say, but none of it truly mattered. Because the second Jamie brought her into his room, it was like Carter's entire vocabulary disappeared. It felt real, all of a sudden, this thing between them. She couldn't help the way her fingers trembled as he set her down on the bed, though all nerves quickly disappeared when he climbed over her, and she let out a muffled groan as he kissed her. This is what she was used to, this is what felt most like them. Even with the added caveat of their feelings, this is what she was familiar with. Instinctively, Carter freed her legs out from underneath Jamie's body, wrapping them around his waist as she kissed back

Jamie didn't really expect a response back from Carter after he shared what was going on in his mind. He kind of deserved it, so he could live with not knowing what was going on in hers. However, he followed her line of sight to the stairs across the room, then settled his gaze back on hers when she turned to look back at him. Jamie could say for certain he once again didn't expect a word of what Carter said, but there was no way he was going to let her offer go to waste. There hadn't ever been a point in time throughout their sexual relationship where Jamie would let them have sex in his bed for his own reasons, but now that their feelings for one another were out in the open, he felt like showing her how much he loved her in his own bed was the least of what Carter deserved. And without question or hesitation, Jamie was standing up with her still wrapped up in his arms, then made the journey upstairs to his bedroom at the end of the hallway. Once there, he crossed the short distance to where his bed resided in the middle of the room, then gently placed her down on the center of it. Wasting no more time, he climbed on the bed and crawled over her petite body to finally connect their lips for a much-needed, starved and urgent embrace.

[tak3mealiv3]

It was, admittedly, a little disappointing to hear that Jamie couldn't give her the big, long answer that Carter hoped for. Truthfully, she hoped that if it did ever come down to this, that they would be able to have a big, long talk about their feelings and where they were coming from. Hearing something like 'I don't know' wasn't exactly the emotional hurdle she was looking for, but hearing that he wanted her all to himself was a bonus. Something else, though, was biting at the back of her mind. Something that she had brought up to him during their constant arguing, that she was almost afraid to bring up now. With hesitation, Carter spared a glance at the other end of the living room, towards the stairs. She then looked back at Jamie, unable to help closing her hands into fists, as if building the tension within herself. "I want to go upstairs," she said, almost whispering. Carter swallowed, before speaking again, finding her voice this time. "I love and want you and you love and want me so I want to go upstairs...to your room." She nodded slowly as she spoke, finding her confidence as she told him what she wanted

As soon as Jamie saw the tears in Carter's eyes, he wished he could back and do things differently. Back to when they first met on the job, to when they didn't know each other at all. Just to give himself the chance right his wrongs. Those tears were solely because of him, maybe laced with some frustration and relief, but he knew he was the root cause. Jamie sighed, bringing his hand up to wipe away the rest of the tears she missed with his thumb. "I don't know," he finally responded. It was the cowardly thing to say, but it was also the truth. From the moment they met, he wanted Carter to himself and he truly hated that it took him this long to accept that. "I've always only wanted you to myself, and I wish I could tell you why it took so long for me to admit that to not only you, but to myself. But I truly don't have an answer for you and I'm sorry that I don't."

[tak3mealiv3]

For just a moment, Carter's heart spiked with anxiety when Jamie pulled away, and she wondered if he might have come to his senses. This was so unlike them. Normally, she would have to do something stupid or threaten backing out of their arrangement to get his attention like this, and even then, it was never like this. The way the air seemed to shift around them, not suffocating but instead warm, like they had been draped with a blanket. She had felt his hands on her dozens of times, but for the first time, they felt...new. Like they were awkwardly dancing with at least a foot of space between them. Not an unwelcome awkwardness, to be sure. Carter couldn't help but imagine this feeling on a regular basis. When he spoke, Carter's eyes filled with tears once more, and she hastily pushed them away. Slowly, she nodded, unable to help the way her throat tightened as she spoke. "I'm sorry, too." She took a deep breath. "I just...there's so much going around in my head. Where did this...I mean how long, you know? How come it took so long?"

Even when they had sex before they confessed their feelings together, they wouldn't really kiss that much. But now that they were kissing, with feelings out in the open without being able to take them back, there was definitely a shift between them. Things felt different, but hardly in a bad way at all. It was obvious the feelings between them had been there all along, neither of them just wanted to say anything in fear of ruining the simple friends with benefits situation they had. If one could even call it that. Without breaking the kiss and still firmly holding Carter in his arms, Jamie began to walk over to the couch nearby, sitting down and pulling her with him once he was close enough. That was when he pulled away to finally look at her, his eyes searing into her own deep blue pools — feeling as if he could get lost in them, if given the chance. "I'm sorry," was all Jamie could manage, the apology being the only thing on the tip of his tongue and in his mind. An apology was the least she deserved after all the pain he's caused her.