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maythedreadwolftakeyou · 14 days ago

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thinking about Lucanis again (always). and how so much of his narrative boils down to the theme of "control". and of course also about how this applies to the Rook x Lucanis relationship.

like the first scenes with him in the game are, in theory, about freeing him from the Ossuary (although he seems to have an escape attempt already in progress at the time, they certainly weren't just letting him keep those knives on him for enrichment purposes, Rook just provided an opening/distraction he could take advantage of and crucially Rook has A Way Out of the whole place not just a cell). but ACTUALLY the purpose it to put him right into a new contract for Us, one set up by his own grandmother and first talon no less, and the person he has the MOST trouble saying no to. He's escaped torture and the Venatori for sure but he still isn't free, which I think is part of what leads to Spite's confusion/the Inner Demons plotline. He agrees to the contract but you can tell it's in many parts out of a sense of duty/mourning vs something he actively wants to do for himself. And then the FIRST real heartfelt conversation you have with him, where he tells you "even before I was captured, my life was not really my own. So much had been determined for me." But he's chaffaing at that! He thinks "to live truly is to live fully" and so directly tells you he doesn't think he's lived a life true to himself. He's been constantly smothered by the weight of expectations around him, even though he longs for more.

And then once you get him to the Lighthouse you see how this Big lack of control in his life comes out as all these smaller frustrations. He's terrified of sleeping and downing 11 cups of coffee per hour because sleeping means he will lose control to Spite, even though Spite is shown to flee rather than fight when he feels threatened, and once calmed down, is more drawn to just benign curiosity/mischief than anything actively malicious. Like if Lucanis loses control and sleeps for a few hours he is not going to wake up surrounded by bloodshed, he's going to wake up to a belly full of candle wax because he wouldn't like Spite taste one while they were awake. Which is the other half of this--he constantly denying Spite's impulses for reasons that in some ways make sense (HE doesn't want to eat candles), but not in a way that's actually satisfying to either of them (why not just take a bite, chew for a bit, and spit it out so Spite knows they kind of suck actually?). But he CAN say no to Spite and so he does. Over and over. Spite's one of the few people he can deny things without feeling bad about it, because it's HIS body he doesn't like that has to share now (<- this is what he thinks about it at first anyway, but he's wrong, it's both of theirs and it's useless to try to hold those kind of boundaries forever. but the "no its mine" spiteful instinct is very beautifully ironic and reflective of them both and their early relationship).

And personally I think this is where his fear of his own desires and intimacy is coming from, at the root. I don't think he's afraid of the concept of being in a romance or having feelings (even if they're unusual and rare for him, this is by no means incompatible with him being demi) but I DO think he is afraid of the kind of power it gives people over you. Getting something you want means there's something else that can be taken away. Admitting your desire means the other person has the opportunity to deny that. The more you have, the more you have to lose, and he has lost again and again and again in his life--his parents, his childhood to the crows, his independence, even his future--he doesn't aspire to be first Talon but he knows the rumors. He knows his grandmother wanted it for him, not Illario. His life path has been laid out for him by others and up to this point he has simply been going along with it anyway, even though it bothers him. He COULD argue and fight Caterina and push for Illario who actually wants the job to be First Talon instead, but from The Wigmaker Job we know he doesn't. He just ignores it and pretends maybe it won't happen, without him having to do any of the work. Which is why in the end Illario is the one who has to make a move about it (and even warns Lucanis of this!!!!). Lucanis KNOWS all this makes him a target but is neither taking charge or getting off of the train tracks, just closes his eyes.

And I think THIS context is what makes the almost kiss scene in the pantry make more sense to me. Rather than being afraid of having feelings (and then NEVER addressing this in game with a Rook who pursues him anyway) or not knowing how to finish what he's started via crow seduction training, it's more like this is a pivotal moment where he can actively choose to step off the planned path of be given a job -> kill the gods -> enact revenge -> go home. even if he doesn't at that point realize that a relationship with Rook could be something that lasts long-term, the very act of doing something just for himself is what's foreign and scary and hard. It's that first step off the tracks, and even if he were to keep walking in the same direction, it means he's making a choice about it. he's accepting that one way or another it IS in his power to go along with everyone else's plans or not. Hence the hesitation, and drawing back, and needing to clear his head.

And then the rest of Rook's role in his narrative IS about giving him more and more control for himself. Inner Demons, dealing with Illario, his questlines move less towards revenge and more towards just... not being locked into one fate. Which of course Caterina comes back and immediately tries to overturn by declaring him First Talon after all, even though she and him and everyone else knows she's not ACTUALLY ready to give up her rule/decision making power yet. Which in a way is maddening because cmon I did all this work here so this sad man could have some agency in his own life just to watch him get sucked right back in (which, at least we get many directions to headcanon from here), but there's no denying that THIS version of Lucanis at least is actually going in with his eyes open now. THIS Lucanis has had a taste of life outside the Crows, and seen the politics and power dynamics in other places/organizations, and finally has emotional ties to the big picture state of the world now, both in relationship and friendship paths with Rook. He's not just hyper focused on each contract as it's given to him now, he's looking at the whole thing.

Anyway of course the beautiful culmination of all this within the romance is the lighthouse scene with Rook, where he finally is willing to let himself be vulnerable (emotionally and physically), and fall asleep without fear of what Spite's going to do in the meanwhile. He also (depending on dialogue choice) finally talks about his feelings directly with you for the first time instead of in roundabout ways (the dessert being "not enough" is it really the dessert you mean, Lucanis. is it.). Even though he is STILL reluctant to verbally admit his feelings or let Rook share their own at this point, I think that's more a narrative choice about saving those last emotional dialogue options for the big final battle. but it is another point where he does have to stop just following along and ACTIVELY choose that yes, yes sometimes loving is worth the risk of losing it. Even if someone takes it away from you later, even if you don't survive it, sometimes the love alone makes it worth it.

I have like another 5000 words I could add into about how Spite ties into all this, about how having the demon in him is something he both fears AND how it forces him to acknowledge that actually yes he DOES share the same base feelings/instincts Spite does in terms of not wanting to be told what to do. And how this in a way is part of what gives him permission to act on it since he can no longer just shove it down out of sight. but this post is long enough already so i'm just going to take the rest of this and gnaw on it all day like a chew toy I guess.

anyway. AHG. it is kind of frustrating that the culmination of his arc seems to be "and then he got the job he never wanted anyway" but I do think at least all this prepares him for it in a way Caterina actively failed to actually do on her own. He NEEDED that step away from his straightforward path. Whether he stays first talon or not, and with or without rook as a romantic partner, he's finally been able to explore ideas outside the expectations of others.

#AND THEN of course how the whole control theme applies in terms of sex lmao. that man needs to be gently topped/dommed soooo bad #so much internalized shame and fear and he just wants someone who will see it & love him anyway #very much on theme to resent a thing (control) in everyday spaces but desire the inverse in the bedroom/forbidden spaces as a way to explor #it safely etc etc etc. fear of losing control vs desire to submit plus all the torture stuff mixed up in there oooohhh what a mess #themes of resistance etc etc You Get Me or you think im insane either is fine. anyway #dragon age: veilguard #dragon age: the veilguard #lucanis #lucanis dellamorte #rook x lucanis #rookanis #spite dellamorte #lucanisposting #datv spoilers #da4 spoilers #ramblings #dragon age #need to rip a pillow into shreds or somethign AHG im pacing around too fulll of Lucanis Thoughts this early in the day #this is usually a 3am hobby but im 12 hours early #but i think finally this is some watsonian reasoning that makes me more chill about the doyalist failures i have with the writing for him #this may be incomprehensible i did Not proofread it #jade plays dav #juniper x lucanis

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theblueflower05 · 2 years ago

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Just a Little Taste

A/N: Welp. Somehow my breeding/breastfeeding kinks manifested themselves into a story. I wrote this sky high on painkillers and I am a little in love with the whole premise. @tiredmamaissy -I hope more than anything that you enjoy this. You deserve all of the goodness on this site. Your Masterlist is my personal spank bank lol

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: This story is Filthy. Smut with very little plot. Breastfeeding. Pussy Eating. Slight mommy kink if you squint. Very pregnant reader getting pleasured, because pregnant beings can still be sexual. Aged up!Neteyam

You are responsible for cultivating your own online experience, please do not interact if any of these tags are triggering to you. Minors DNI.

Summary: You’re eight months pregnant with Neteyams child, and after a long day, you both need a little relief. Neteyam x Human! Reader

"Sugar, Honey, Iced Tea

Bumble-bee on the scene.

Yeah, I'd give up my bakery to have a piece of your pie"

- See You Again, Tyler the Creator ft Kali Uchis

Life in the village is always busy. Constantly bustling with life and movement as everyone; human scientist, Avatar and Na’vi alike, rush to keep things afloat.

High Camp is so different then Home Tree had been, the rage of war adding a constant edge to long days and restless nights. You miss the comfort of a slow life, of hazy days down in the jungle. The jagged cliffs of the Hallelujah Mountains still don’t quite feel like home to you.

Still, you go about your daily duties.

Being a Pandoran raised human had always given you a different insight, the two massively different cultures you we’re brought up in clashing and mending to create a skill set that was like no other- it had taken many years of painful trial and error to find your place within the Omiticaya, but healing had always come naturally.

Both holistic and surgical alike. You’d spent years shadowing Mo’at and learning the ancient herbal ways of the people, while well as taking advantage of the many PHD toting scientist back at Hell’s Gate. Medicine had no boundaries, was a way for you to feel close to both sides of yourself. To broach the gap between human and clansman.

You find your skills being needed more than ever. The ever constant raids against the RDA means your hands are rarely idle, forever in movement as you tend to the wounded. Some days you sit in the big Healers Tent with Mo’at and the other Taskarem, and others you’re in the makeshift Medi Bay, which is really more of an Avatar Pod Trailer turned OR, with the handful of human surgeons.

The long hours spent on your feet leave you sore and exhausted, but you have to pull your weight.

Even if said weight is far heavier than usual as of late-

“Y/N” you’re broken out of your thoughts by Max- as he enters the trailer with a holo-tab in hand and a concerned look in his dark eyes “What are you still doing here?”

“I was just finishing up inventory- our antibiotic stock is back way up. Jake was right, those helicopter raids were more than worth it” you’d sorted out the tiny vials of vital medicine by hand, not wanting any to be misplaced or mislabeled.

“You don't think maybe you should head home?” He continues and you sigh.

You miss your tent, and the soft bed of furs that lay inside the secure warm flaps. And the man that waits for you inside of the patchwork leather walls-

“I’m fine” you assure. And really, you are.

It's a fact you have to keep reminding people of.

Yes, you’re as big as a Strumbeast, but you are no less competent. No less able bodied.

Pregnancy is one of the most natural parts of life, a base staple in all’s existence. There are plenty of pregnant Omiticaya women who were expected to play their roles, even as the battle raged outside the safety of the mountain cave system.

It was the nature of your pregnancy that was more…fragile then average. Inside your womb grew a child that would be the first of it’s kind. A scientific mystery: no one had even known it was possible for Na’vi and humans to procreate.

And yet all of the evidence now lies under your shirt. Your stomach round and pronounced, full of growing life.

Full of the love between you and the Olo’eyktan’s eldest son.

Neteyam had left his permanent mark on you. Had part of himself growing inside of you. The thoughts we’re enough to make your knees buckle if you focused on them too hard.

“You’ve been here since 6am, you really should get some rest. Take one of the empty bunks if you want. Have you checked your blood pressure-”

You’re a grown woman. You’re not going to huff and puff and roll your eyes, but fuck, do you want to.

Everyone was so overbearing lately.

Norm and Max we’re constantly breathing down your neck; “The baby has a different growth rate then a human child, we need to monitor the way that your body is responding” Followed closely by Jake who watches you with sharp eagle like eyes and Neytiri, who used to all but ignore your presence, constantly checking in on you throughout the day. Mo’at’s always poking and prodigy, and Kiri almost always has her hands on you in some way shape or form.

You are glad for the support, happy that this baby would be so loved.

But really, you missed being treated like the competent, independent woman you knew you we’re.

“My blood pressure is fine. I thought since we ruled out preeclampsia we weren’t going to worry about it anymore” you know that it’s not going to silence his worry, but still. You can try.

Max goes on one of his science mambo jumbo spiels, and by the end of it you’re waddling out of the lab and back to your hut, annoyed as shit but placating your pseudo father figure all the same. Only a month and a half mor of this and then things could go back to normal.

Everything had just…changed so quickly.

You 're a caretaker by nature. Caring for others is easy, feels right. You’d tucked the much older scientists into bed when you we’re just a pre-teen. Made dinners. Looked out for Spider and the other Sully’s-

And the role reversal still didn't quite sit right with you. Your control freak ways didn't do well with not being the one in charge- you’d been stripped of your title so to speak. You we’re supposed to relax into your new role, enjoy being doted over before the nine month’s we’re over.

You and Neteyam’s shared tent is in the centered in the cave, close to his families, but standing on its own. As private as anyone could get in the busy, close quartered camp. The walls of the hut are familiar, adorned with your combined belongings. Cozy and familiar.

You shimmy free of your confining bra, step out of your cargo pants, then toe off your boots, releasing your swollen sock covered feet with a groan before collapsing into your well loved bed, the soft blankets and familiar scent of your mate lulling you into a deep state of peace.

It’s kind of wild how quickly you can fall asleep these days. Growing a little person from scratch tends to burn a lot of energy and the moment you relax, you’re out like a light.

You don't wake up, even when the horns are sounded for the return of the War Party.

Not when Neteyam makes his way through the camp and enters the tent. He’s wearty, grime covered and hunched over. He only softens when he sees you, tucked safely, into his bed. Your eyes still closed and face still scrunched up as he strips out of his battle band and shin covers. He’s quiet, washing off with the large freshwater basin in the corner before making his way over to his much-missed bed mat.

It isn't until he's crawled under the blankets and wiggled his way as close to you as possible that you begin to stir. His large cat like snout nuzzles into the vulnerable crevice of your neck, chuffing hot breaths against the smooth skin.

You’re not upset at him for waking you up, a drowsy half alert smile stretches over your lips as your hands run up his strong back. Gently working the tense muscles.

He gets so greedy when he comes back from the War runs. He needs to be comforted, to be held and you are all too willing to comply.

Everyone else infantiles you now, and yeah, Neteyam could get a little intense and overprotective, but your relationship had always worked because you were the one person in all of Pandora that babied the future chief.

He was such a sweet man, with so much responsibility on his plate. You loved nothing more than holding him in your arms. Letting him release any and all tension because you had him. You, a tiny soft skinned human, were the barrier between him and the ruthless world.

You’d be such a great mother to his children. His hind brain purrs at the thought. That even through all of the controversy, he knows he’d chosen the right mate. Little and fierce, he hopes the baby is just like you.

“Are you okay?” You ask, tone hushed in the darkness of the tent. The only light coming from the small dying embers of the firepit in the center of the space. Hypnotic shadows dance along the canvas walls and Neteyam's breathing grows shallow as he sinks into it.

The way you smell. The way your heart beats, strong against his cheek. The way your plump body feels so good under his wandering hands. He hadn't been okay, just moments ago. He was delirious, so sick of the fighting that he felt ill with it.

But how could any of those bad feelings exist when he had you waiting for him? Ready to welcome him into your body, your heart, your mind. He doesn't think he could survive without knowing the solace of your love.

“I’m okay, narlor(beauty). Just missed you” he mutters, still trying to dig his face deeper into your skin. He wants to escape inside of you, you chuckle at his futile attempts to mend you both into one entity. His large palms rest against your bloated belly, tenderly and your heart flutters “Missed you both so much”

Being so loved is overwhelming.

You wouldn't have it any other way.

“I missed you, my sweet baby. I missed you all day” you assure him with the words you know he needs to hear. “Our son here thought it would be fun to jump on his sa’nok’s bladder all day. It was like was playing the wokau(pendulum drum) all day long- I spent hours in running back and forth to the bathroom”

Neteyam's laugh is deep and rich. Thoroughly pleased to listen to your stories of your day, eager to hear every minute detail. Desperate to drown out visions of blood and gun smoke with your voice.

“Ah, you have to be nice to your momma, little one” he chastises the bump, raising your shirt over your head, wanting that flimsy barrier gone. His lips trail over the tight skin of your bulging belly as he speaks to his child.

Your son, still safe inside your soft body, knows his fathers voice already. Recognizes that slightly accented cadence, and squirms inside of you happily.

Neteyam usually speaks strictly in Na’vi to your unborn child-

“He needs to know the language of our people, first and foremost”

-he’ll spend hours whispering his mother tongue into your flesh. It always leaves you boneless and shaking. Feeling so special and cared for. Na’vi, though your second language, is familiar to you. You’re fluent in the language- but fuck. The way your mate speaks it is the most beautiful thing. It’s musical, he tells sprawling stories with his colorful words.

There is one English he’s very fond of though. Every time it leaves his plush mouth it makes you grin, sharp. Knowingly.

“Are you gonna be nice to momma, Neteyam?” you question him after a while. His ears quirk, swiveling on his head and his tale flicks once, in obvious excitement.

You know what he’s wanted, ever since he woke you up by nuzzling at your chest. Ever since he peeled off your top and left your heavy breasts bare. Did he think you missed the way his golden gaze would flick to them, eyeing them hungrily.

He needs this as much as you do, but as usual, your sweet boy is too selfless to ask. Won't trouble you with his wants unless you bring it up first.

You reach for his big hand that rests on your belly, and drag it to where you need him. His palm enveloping your tits, the rough callus’s catching on your sensitive nipple just right-

Your pregnancy had been different than regular humanoid pregnancies. Your body worked hard, thrown into overdrive in an attempt to keep up with the fast growing fetus in your womb. You’d started lactating months ago, far earlier then normal. Your breasts firm, full with milk. Ready to feed the child that had not yet come into the world.

At first it had been both painful and embarrassing. You had no child to drink what you were producing and the other breastfeeding women in the tribe we’re hesitant to feed their babies your tawtute(human) milk. Already over emotional due to the hormone change, you’d wept at the fact that you had no one to give what your body readily made.

The fact that you couldn't be a bigger part of your community due to your human heritage, combined with the intense pain that came from having backed up ducts had been too much,

Eventually you’d turned to Neteyam, both your eyes and shirt soaking wet. Begged him to help you. And of course, as always, he did.

It should be awkward, or shameful- but connecting with him on any level is something you cherish. Why would this be any different?

“I’m always nice to you, aren't I, love?” Neteyam gruffs as he gently works at the breast in his hands. Its firm and full of milk, his mouth waters “Do they hurt again?”

“Mhmm” you whine pathetically, and you’re not lying. The skin of your chest is now marred by stretch marks and you’d had to stuff precious, hard to come by toilet paper down your bra all day to keep them from spilling over “They’re so full, Nete”

“Oh” He hums, thumbing at your nipple “Poor momma, I’ll help you. Don't worry” his lips are wet against your skin as he kisses his way to your breast, his tongue peeking out to circle your puffy nipple. A pearlescent drop of milk tops the rosy bud and he groans as it hits his taste buds.

He tells you that you taste good, often. The juices of your pussy, your spit soaked kisses. He’s always been greedy for it, his tongue bullying its way into your holes, desperate for your essence. Your milk is just as delicious as the rest of you.

It quickly goes from kitten licking, wide wet stripes against your pebbled nipple to sucking your big breast as far into his mouth as he could. Careful of his fangs as he gorges himself on your flesh.

He’s loudly appreciative as he suckles on your nipple. Grunting and humming and moaning at the flavor. Your arms come around him, cradling his head to your bosom because it feels so good. Having him this close, knowing that he'd do anything to take care of you. That he truly loved the way you tasted-

Many people thought you and Neteyam would never last. It was lust, they’d claim. Curiosity. A childhood friendship that would fizzle out eventually. Na’vi needed Tsaheylu, it was the lifeblood of all their relationships. Why would the much desired future Olo’eyktan stay with you if he couldn't even properly bond you?

While you couldn't deny that there we’re doubt filled moments that you yourself wondered why he’d chosen you and stayed so loyal to you…you still felt your own form of connection to him. While you’d love to make that sacred bond with him, you didn't feel any less close to your mate.

You never thought that you could be so intertwined with another being.

As Neteyam takes his fill from your breast, you massage the base of his Kuru, firm enough that it makes him hiss. You have no special braid of your own, but he’s always been very free with his when it comes to you.

You can do with as you please. Stroke it. Lick it. Massage it. Hell, he’d even let you touch glowing pink tendrils at the end of it before. Let you feel his exposed nerves, so vulnerable and raw in your hands that he had shed tears as you explored.

Nothing was taboo in your relationship. There was no space undiscovered between you.

Your bodies we’re so very different, and yet you knew his like the back of your hand. All of the strong muscles and hard sinew. The cobalt expanse of his skin didn't have one blemish that you haven't memorized. You could point out his striped pattern in a sea of other Na’vi.

And he knows you right back.

Loves to dig his fingers into your doughy hips, into your pillowy thighs. Your wide ass and ample chest. He loves your form, goes crazy for all of your alien curves. He never cared for your human modesty, he’d wanted to part your ass cheeks and stare at plump of your pussy for as long as he could remember. Wanted to strip you of all of those clothes and just stare.

The fact that he gets to do just that, for the rest of your lives, is his favorite, favorite thing.

You watch him eagerly as he slowly nurses. You can't get enough of the sight of him, his hollowed cheeks, the bob of his throat as he swallows your free flowing milk. He's so strong, his muscles flex in the dim light. All of that strength, and yet he’s so very gentle with you, his rough tongue laving at your sore buds every couple minutes. Soothing and tickling you all the same.

You giggle at a particularly quick swipe, letting out a small squeal as Neteyam’s tongue plays with the flesh in his mouth. His eyes peek open, glittering with mirth and low boiling heat as he meets your gaze. Whin his lips split into a smile, a dribble of translucent white milk escapes. Trickles down from the corners of his lips.

Heat pulses between your legs and you know he can smell how aroused you are.

Neteyam has always been able to turn you on without even trying. A well spoken word, or even a pointed look could get you running your thighs together. All desperate to get him alone and put your hands all over him.

You hate that you cant kiss him the way you want to, your Exo Mask, while necessary to your survival can be suck a fucking menace sometimes.

Your thumb traces his lips, the ones you want pressed against your own so bad. You rub the spilled milk from his chin. Cleaning him up in a way that's so simple, and so beyond erotic.

He breaks eye contact first, like he just can't look at you anymore. His brows all scrunched up, his chest raising and falling rapidly. He releases your sloppy nipple, completely covered in his saliva, and presses his face against the damp skin. Making a sound of distress.

Your fingernails skritch at his scalp, tangled in his many braids “What is it, baby?”

“I wanna fuck you so bad. Eywa, do you even smell yourself, Y/N? So good. I have to-”

“Yeah, yeah, okay” You nod, agreeing blindly. He can have whatever he wants.

“Fuck you hard, though. Gotta pound you. I know I shouldn't but it’ll be alright, huh? Won't hurt the baby?” his face is still buried in your skin, you cant even see his expression as he pleads for your pussy. It makes you so hot.

You push at his chest, needing him to get off of you for just a moment. He’s heavy as shit, a dead weight- doesn't really move until you're pouting and demanding for him to just give you a little space.

Enough that you can wiggle out of your panties and spread your thighs wide for him. Your swollen, sticky pussy on display for your mate.

His nostrils flare, and his thin tail whips wildly behind him.

When he swings your thick thighs up onto his broad shoulders, you let out a low, appreciative moan.

“Such a good boy for momma” you praise him the way the people praise the Great Mother. The cradle of your thighs a sanctuary where you both come to worship.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Welp, I should be finishing up Part Three of First Love/Late Spring or plotting out future installments of The Sweetest Sylaung, but here I am writing nursing filth. Lol I truly have zero regrets, this story was so very self fulfilling(even though it partially came from a request). I hope you guys enjoyed though

As mentioned many times before, requests are currently open. Please send in all that good shit. I could use a good distraction from real life!

#neteyam smut #neteyam x reader #neteyam x human reader #neteyam sully smut #aged up neteyam #Neteyam x pregnant reader

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dabis-azure-songstress · 3 months ago

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could you do headcanons for dabi who’s with a s/o that is a really kind and giving individual. he didn’t like it at first and he thought his s/o being so kind to people who were less fortunate like the homeless was a bad thing but he starts to pick up on their behavior and his s/o catches him doing something nice for something and they both realize he’s started to pick up after his s/o

Ooo, yes, absolutely! I feel like I can relate to this very well. I can already imagine all the things he'll say. I'm sorry this took so long. I've been trying to focus and take a bit better care of myself than I have been, especially with the carpal tunnel. I hope all of you will enjoy these anyway. I feel so bad about not posting here or on my A03. Thank you so much for your request! Please enjoy this, Dabi Goddesses!

Pairing: Dabi w/ S/O that is really kind and giving

Headcanons or one-shot? Headcanons with a small written scenario

Rating: SFW! Warning though! Dabi is sweet at the end and may steal your heart.

"You know they're just going to take advantage of you, don't you? You really need to set boundaries, doll."

At first, it really bothers him how kind and selfless you are and also maybe even makes him a little jealous.

And, he can sound very harsh and occasionally really hurt your feelings sometimes with things he says when he nags you about it, but he really means well.

He really doesn't want to see anyone hurt you or take advantage of you. EVER.

"You really are too kind for your own good. It's going to cause you a lot of trouble one of these days."

"You're such a pushover. You couldn't even tell someone, "No" even if you wanted to."

When he sees he hurts your feelings or upsets you, he does feel bad after, however. Believe me.

After a while though, he really grows to admire you and appreciate you.

After all, it takes a lot of courage to keep being yourself and being selfless, even if sometimes you do get hurt in the process.

You do eventually learn to set some healthier boundaries that Dabi takes note of, and he's proud of you, but he also grows to love how sweet you are.

Eventually, you both don't realize you've rubbed off and made him "softer" a little bit.

One day, you are out of the apartment when you hear a child crying. At first, you think Dabi may have said something rude without meaning to, and upset them, but a glance at the scrapes and blood on their knees proves otherwise. Dabi has kneeled down before them carefully.

"Did you go and hurt yourself there, little bit?"

The little one looks up at him with red and puffy eyes, still rubbing at them, and nods meekly.

"First, I need you to get up...C'mon. You can do it."

Dabi reaches out a hand gingerly and helps the young one to their feet carefully as you watch.

"Wanna see something cool to distract you from the pain a little bit? I'm gonna have Y/N go get you some band-aids and ointment."

Another nod in agreement. Dabi takes in a deep breath and carefully kneels back down to the child's height before he holds out a hand and gently alights a small cerulean flame ablaze in his palm. He glances at you carefully.

When you come back with the band-aids and medicine, you notice the child's laughter filling the air. The child is now fully seated on his lap with him carefully juggling the fire around them.

-----

Now bandaged up and much more dry-eyed and content, the mother soon arrives. It turns out the little one had gotten separated in the rush hour of people. She's surprised to see Dabi entertaining her child so well, despite his looks, but offers him a gentle smile and thanks you both softly as she gathers the little one into her arms.

As they're walking away, Dabi just casts his eyes over you.

"Don't even think about it."

"Think about what?" you smile.

"THAT. Stop it."

You giggle softly at him.

"...Maybe it's not so bad."

"Hm?"

"Maybe it's not so bad being just like you...every once in a while."

You can only smile in return as he grabs your hand and interlaces your fingers.

#bnha imagines #bnha x reader #dabi #dabi headcanons #dabi x reader #bnha dabi #mha dabi

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idontmindifuforgetme · 2 years ago

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do you have any advice on how to be less of a people pleaser/how to get over it?

You can’t be everyone’s favorite person. You can’t always abandon yourself in favor of always being present for other people. I’m not here to tell you that you should always be selfish—you shouldn’t. A big skill is learning when to be self-centered and when to be other-centered. But if something is causing you too much harm, whether it be emotional or physical, sometimes you just have to put an end to it. Even if it means hurting someone else in the process. It helps me to understand that hurting people is unavoidable in certain situations; everyone has been guilty of it at some point. Getting over your people pleasing tic boils down to being okay with that.

Making the right choice doesn’t always mean making the one that leaves everyone happy. I always like to remind myself that pain forces people to go through character growth, and without it they would still be stuck in their ways. Not catering to someone’s needs can be helpful to them in the long run—at that point they know to revise their behavior not to lose you, or lose someone else, again.

Stop being an anxious helper. That was / sometimes still is a big issue for me. Don’t anticipate people’s needs and try to act in the way you think they want you to. Not only does that cause you to be inauthentic, but it also takes away from the other person’s agency. You can’t fully determine how someone else wants you to act—you don’t actually inhabit their head. You could be totally off the mark. At that point you’re putting yourself through emotional pressure for nothing.

Just hold people accountable. Hold them accountable in the same way you would hold yourself accountable. Just as you don’t expect people to put up with your temper tantrums, don’t put up with other people’s just because you think they inherently deserve more grace than you do. What they’re going through becomes irrelevant if the harm their actions are inflicting is too great.

You also don’t want disrespecting your boundaries to become the norm. You want to set the precedent that you have non-negotiables early on. Being a people pleaser makes that hard to accomplish, because you’re already so used to putting yourself through the wringer for other people. You’ve lost touch w yourself & your emotions. Putting your foot down where it’s warranted helps you get back in touch w your limits, which helps people know what they are, which helps you develop healthy relationships that don’t make you feel exhausted and dismissed. People pleasing is never as simple as “As long as the other person is happy, I’m happy.”

And if this is about you wanting people to like you—wouldn’t you want them to like you for you? Wouldn’t you want someone to appreciate you even while understanding what your boundaries are, not in spite of them? I used to be a people pleaser myself & lemme tell you, in the end all it causes is resentment. The kind of resentment you can’t even do anything about, because you’re the one who’s doing it to yourself. There’s no one else to really blame. You’ve probably been familiar w someone being like “Well, I didn’t ask you to do those things for me.” As if people pleasing doesn’t make you feel dismissed enough as it is.

The bottom line is you don’t want people to like you because they know they can take advantage of you. You want them to like you because they know you have healthy respect for yourself.

#ask

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paingoes · 2 months ago

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You mentioned that LW!Lorelai would (attempt to) escape earlier than Delta did. Would this be because of an "inciting incident," like with Delta, or does she just gradually reach a critical level/threshold of being Fed Up?

the first time, it’s just because she wants to.

lorelai was taken at an older age than delta. she still has memories of her family and of being treated like a person. it makes the conditioning much harder for her to go through because she has that point of comparison. while she’s able to withstand it and perform correctly, there’s always a kind of simmering resentment just beneath the surface.

lorelai does not need the conditions of revolution spelled out for her the way delta does. she doesn’t even need a computer. she reads the same treatises that delta does, but her interpretations are entirely different. delta tends to engage with all the political theory very passively and with a good hold on his own neutrality. he’s aware of the revolutionaries long before he ever speaks to them, but in concept he just finds them kind of…naive? he actually tends to share most of paris’s relatively moderate views for much of the story. he doesn’t hate the rebels or write them off as complete idiots the way most people in Empire do, but he thinks they’re misguided. a revolution? in this economy?

lorelai vies for it hook line and sinker. i think simon kind of raises an eyebrow when she requests more abolitionist/space marxist literature, but that’s all. she’s allowed to develop her personal rebellion in secret and she spends a lot of time perfecting it and kind of honing her own anger!

there is no inciting incident. paris is a lot nicer to her than he is to delta. i guess he feels some sense of chivalry and isn’t willing to put his hands on her because. she’s a gorl :/

at first he balances this out with verbal and emotional abuse and his standard level of like. completely self indulgent tantrum throwing in her vicinity. but i think even that peters out eventually because. okay. lorelai obviously can’t set boundaries with him the way she can in the canon. she can’t just say “don’t talk to me like that.” that’s ridiculous. but at the same time she is so much less receptive and patient with his outbursts and it definitely shows on her face.

like this

so if nothing else paris kind of eases off of that just out of sheer embarrassment. on some level he really does care what she thinks of him and doesn’t want their relationship to be antagonistic. so they have a bit of a truce. her relationship with paris is actually one of the least bad elements of her captivity.

this doesn’t stop her from trying to escape. she takes advantage of the weak points in the collar and is able to get a good distance away from the docked ship before anyone notices she’s missing. but it doesn’t last long. she doesn’t make it more than a day or so out in the wild.

paris is a lot less nice after this. real destroyer heads know that paris’s kindness is extremely conditional. he takes the escape attempt as a legitimate betrayal — “how the fuck could you leave me here?” — but at this point he’s already learned to associate his own outbursts with shame. so instead of freaking out, the backlash is a lot more cold and calculated. paris really starts channeling his father here. he doesn’t even yell. the guards bring her back and he strolls out with one hand on his hip and asks her why she had to make this get ugly.

she’s under much tighter control after this. she gets stripes whipped into her back — definitely not by paris himself, but he’ll order it often and without pause, somewhere he doesn’t have to watch. her movement is a lot more restricted for a very long time afterward until he deigns to forgive her.

she doesn’t fall for it. she’s so much slower to forgive than delta is and she will absolutely not let this slide. paris does not even understand how badly he fucked up with this. she is never going to be on his side again.

i dont know how many escape attempts she makes in total, but it’s going to get harder each time she tries. you really can’t escape Empire alone. that’s why we have the buddy system :)

what i imagine happens is that Vi gets her alone during an excursion out and scouts her for the revolution, at which point a formal rescue is organized and she escapes for real.

#destroyer asks

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tea-and-finalfantasy · 1 year ago

Text

some nsfw/18+ hcs for bi-han, kuai liang, and tomas

kept it to one-ish idea for each under the cut so it didn't get excessively long for each. will write more, just not all in one post

Bi-Han

especially angry when horny, doesn't know how to like. ask or be normal about his own urges (not out of a moral flaw or failure/is a genuine issue), so he just gets frustrated and distant until it's like alright we both know you can't be acting like this and he knows and pouts about it but is relieved someone knows how to fucking fix this

it's anger that stems from anxiety over showing what he perceives as weakness/is anger so he doesn't appear as anxious as he is

definitely worse if he wants to receive or sub but still has frustration towards desire at all, is afraid of being vulnerable, of feeling too deeply if it's not fury, of giving into something instead of controlling it

even if he were to go out and have a hookup and be the dominant party and engage in like, degrading someone, he'd still walk away feeling unsure and overwhelmed like he fucked up something somehow, like he can never be as seamlessly in control as he feels he has to

plus he's. stubborn and rude but knows not to treat someone poorly when it's not like, mutual hatred or a fight--like yes he lashes out and is bad to people who care about him BUT it's usually bc he feels he's trying to steer them towards something better? he wants kuai liang to join him and expresses this by being harsh and cold in the hopes that his brother will change his mind. he's rude to tomas when their opinions clash but also has expressed he doesn't wish to see him harmed

so i mean that he knows he has to provide aftercare and will also avoid sex and love because he knows he won't be able to do that properly

he doesn't feel confident that he can support people in the emotional way that they'll need--and is scared of being cared for in that way and feeling vulnerable from it--so even if he wanted to seek out hookups, he can't

then with established relationships, like childhood friends or confidants, he feels he can't be weak as he's only ever been strong so either way, he's unable to lean into being vulnerable

he's been operating on these assumptions for so long that even being cared for and being made to feel safe is gonna set off a panic attack because it's different and unfamiliar and the fear of being ridiculed or humiliated or taken advantage of when he thought he was safe is too much for him to risk it

can manage jerking himself off sometimes without feeling too horrible about it but usually either does it and feels guilty or worse--can't get off as he's too tense and thinking too much about just needing to get off as quickly as possible and can't manage to do it

which means he just gets more pent up and angry, goes to train to blow off steam, can't relax after training, can't sleep because he can't relax, trains again to see if it helps--and it's a vicious cycle of overworking himself until he's so exhausted he finally can sleep + trying to find as many distractions as possible to avoid dealing with his emotions

i def think locktober (feat. prostate milking but no actual orgasms) + no nut November (feat. some ruined orgasms at the end before finally getting off after two months of edging) would definitely get his head on straight

like it's a regimented, more procedural kind of denial, like a schedule or a game, and isn't necessarily self-imposed or doesn't have to be--as opposed to him setting detrimental rules and standards for himself and never letting up

like it turns something he's doing that's stressing him out and upsetting him into something with a timeline and something that, at least at first when he's never done it, someone else will take care of for him and help guide him towards choices that might challenge him but won't break boundaries

like it helps set up boundaries he didn't know he had, helps him relinquish control in a way that doesn't make him completely at someone else's mercy but allows them to choose what's best for him (like he can opt out of things but might be encouraged to try something new)

very mellowed out for a while after that lol

plus it'd be easy for someone to be like "do you need me to take care of you?" and he knows that he's safe in someone else's hands no matter what someone chooses to do with him or what it might usually entail (prostate milking with an actual orgasm either at the end of it or the morning after/a few rounds of ruined orgasms and then a successful one, short bursts of chastity at times where he can decide if he wants to try and break his record or just take it easy and hold off for a week) so he's not just overwhelmed and without a plan

and then he knows what makes him feel better and can request it nonverbally until he feels more capable to speak up, if he ever feels comfortable doing so. either way, he's able to express a desire and not feel overwhelmed by the request, the act, or the aftermath

Tomas

loves receiving oral and knows what he wants when getting it

loves facefucking/taking the lead and fucking someone's mouth while they just keep it open for him

enjoys both a slow pace and a fast pace but always lapses into a softer attitude afterwards, especially if he's been more dominant about it

(see his fatality where he shoves the grenade in someone's mouth. that kind of dominance and focus on oral lol)

with either situation, he keeps his grip firm and his pace even (worried that sporadic thrusts would be harder not to gag on) and is very aware of what he's doing so he doesn't hurt someone or make them choke unless that's what they're going for

even if he's the one keeping the pace, he can get really vocal in a submissive way/not necessarily in a dominant way even if given that control

if he's submissive about it, he moans and whines a lot, begs for things he's already getting as if it could never be enough or like he'll be denied it eventually, gasps and bites his lip and throws his head back--is both very physical and vocal

again, knows he shouldn't break pace unless someone won't gag or is okay with that so he shows desperation/need/lapses in control in how he speaks and moans instead of how he moves

if he does feel like being dominant, his neediness is expressed more through a faster, rougher pace than anything else

he'll do more coherent talking too lol, like praising someone for how good they're being, how good they feel, how much he likes seeing them drool like that--that there's no way for him to facefuck them and for them to come out of it looking like anything but a total mess and he loves that debauched look on them/that they're made for it

the extent of any meanness is pushing himself to the back of their throat and telling them to hold it, to be good and breathe through their nose, and i think he'd consider holding their nose for a moment, just to see them get uncomfortable at the action, but not enough to actually impact their breathing as it'd break immersion for him and he'd get nervous

if something like that is wanted from him (like that kind of force/fear or if someone really wants to gag around him), there'll be the expectation that he can't keep up the strict act for long because he starts getting nervous lol

like you'll get a firm pace but nothing painful or a pace that's hard to keep up with and lots of praise for it--not pain and coldness, even in a made up scene unless it's really fleeting/not for the entirety of the scene

not that topdrop is entirely unavoidable if he doesn't do that but he knows he'll start to feel gross if he's expected to be uncaring so it's a boundary not to be pushed more than that

again, softens into subservience afterwards in appreciation for getting to indulge and because it's a comfortable headspace for him/it helps him get back to baseline

loves to do stuff like eat someone out after he's cum in them (any hole) or clean them up with his tongue after they've cum and made a mess of themselves (again, can be eating someone's pussy post-orgasm, ringing his tongue around the tip of someone's cock, etc.)

likes to get himself dirty and really get his face in there, likes when a partner wraps their legs around his head and forces him in there as he usually starts more gingerly

wants to get covered in whatever fluid or ejaculate you got (if it's arousal fluid from being wet or squirt or cum or christ, sweat and musk and piss even--he wants to pull away and be soaked in it)

Kuai Liang

cockwarming is his favorite thing--either taking it into his mouth and fitting his nose right up to a partner's pubic hair, sitting there and being watched and having his hair played with and being praised

(it can be an actual cock or silicone, doesn't matter the length and includes t-dick--would definitely be interested in doing that with someone's clit even without bottom growth as it's more about intimacy and closeness and praise than anything else but he does like having his mouth full too and would want to engage in that just as well)

or getting filled up with something and being able to relax, maybe sucking on someone's fingers too to occupy his mouth at the same time

just likes getting his holes filled!

probably hasn't considered having a cock/toy in his ass and having fingers in his mouth and having his dick in someone else but would definitely need to do that without much in the way of prior stimulation as it'd be way too much all at once having gotten worked up beforehand (unless he's aiming for overstim)

would absolutely benefit from looking into toys like buttplugs because he could do stuff whenever he feels like it, rather than needing a partner to be free for it, but feels nervous about biting the bullet and entering that search/about realizing he can do things for pleasure even without a partner present

like he's not prudish but definitely has some sort of hang up, as his brother has his anger. maybe it's more concern over pursuing physical pleasure (or pleasure of any kind) because he feels he's not supposed to or allowed to. like he's so worried about so much that he assumes it's a distraction or that his life is so set for servitude that he shouldn't be indulging in personal needs--

even though he doesn't hold anyone else to this standard (like if tomas was forgoing pleasure or good food or any other needs, he'd be beside himself--he wouldn't want presence within the lin kuei to mean abstinence or strict rules, in general and as that's how bi-han wrongfully views it)

even though he's starting to realize that it's not something he can just smother and push aside/that his insistence that he doesn't need something is actually more of a distraction or preoccupation than actually giving in to it

doesn't know it's a thing but is so needy for it once he figures out it is--getting plugged but then later, when it gets taken out so he can get fucked, getting gagged with the same plug that was just inside him

it's degrading and humiliating and dizzying in how inappropriate it feels but he wants it more than anything and how can something he asks for so desperately--too shy to do so verbally but knowing its out and just getting those needy, hopeful eyes at the possibility of it being placed right back inside him but in his mouth--be anything but exactly what he's made for?

will whine and grind his hips into the bed and suck on it diligently, caught between being good and giving into overwhelming desire--wanting so badly to be used and filled and forced to be quiet but being unable to keep from being loud and restless and impatient

in a more social kink sense, absolutely has an oral fixation where being gagged calms him down, makes him feel quiet and floaty and small but very much cared for, like he settles immediately into subspace and it's nice to have that to rely on when things get too much and without the expectation of having it develop into anything. like he can just chill for a while and then take it out and come out of it and go to bed or something, not needing to make it sexual if he doesn't want to

so of course he has a couple masks with different gags on the inside depending on what he feels like putting in his mouth

they're probably much less ornate (detailed ones with gags reserved for more involved play) and are sewn fabric on the outward facing side as opposed to metal so they're more comfortable to keep on for prolonged periods of time or in certain settings (say, private spaces on transit like trains with sleeper cars or hotels where you still might run into someone if you don't keep only to your room)

plus fabric can make drooling less obvious which is also ideal for longterm wear (although he'll take it out to swallow after a bit and then put it back in or take it out to rest his jaw for a bit and then replace it)

the majority of these don't have large gags so longterm wear isn't super strenuous or uncomfortable but maybe one does and he'll reach for it if he's in a particular mood and knows he needs it, despite it being more painful, making more of a mess, etc.

is real cute afterwards, covered in spit and sleepy-sounding like "did i do good" like yeah bud real good, do you think you want to shower or--(he is out in minutes, he's not waking up for nothing)

#mk1 #mk1 headcanons #mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #mk1 kuai liang #mk1 bi han #mk1 tomas vrbada #my posts

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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 1 year ago

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Recently I've been reevaluating my queerness and what it means for me, and it's a really weird and kind of uncomfortable experience.

Everyone always says labels don't define you, they describe you--when your experience changes, the way you "identify" also can change to reflect that. But it's scary to think, "hey, the way I've understood myself and my experience is fundamentally shifting," and losing the sense of stability that comes with having a familiar word to reference.

Over the summer, I dated (!) a guy (!!!!!), which I never had seriously believed would happen--and I actually had romantic feelings for him. I'm pretty sure I felt that way before we were officially together, so I've also now had a crush. Can I describe the difference between that and what I've felt before? Not really, which is also confusing.

But a huge part of the way I've seen myself over the years has been as aromantic as well as asexual. I have an aro ring that I wear every day, along with my ace ring. Knowing what I could and couldn't experience helped me set realistic expectations for what I would be like in a relationship, and was an important part of how I saw my relationship with my QPP.

And now I'm like, well, can I develop romantic feelings for other people? Was this a one-time thing? Was my ability to do that contingent on the fact that it turned out he wasn't actually attracted to women (oh the irony) and therefore I felt utterly unthreatened by him? If I want to date other people, because I would like to be married someday, what am I supposed to tell them about how I function and what they can expect? What can I even expect?

It's overwhelming and so I haven't thought about it much. If I try to frame it positively, I can take some benefit from thinking romantic connection might be easier for me than I'd thought (as in, it turns out to be possible); but without that intentional shift in my thinking, I'm just left with a giant question mark as to what my future relationships will look like--which is bad, because if I don't know what I'm comfortable with in a relationship, I can't establish healthy boundaries. Maybe part of a relationship is experiencing those new things together and working it out as you go...but I also have trust issues and can't imagine conventionally dating someone (e.g. not establishing a strong friendship first) and being able to trust that they won't take advantage of me in some way.

And now even my familiar words don't feel quite right. I still think of myself as associated with aromanticism, but I no longer describe myself that way to other people--I'll generally say I'm queer and then explain a little more without using specific terms. And I know I'm ace, but it's less important to me than it used to be.

I thought feeling more "normal" would be a good thing; it actually just makes me feel weirder.

I'm just hoping that as I continue learning more about myself, I can accept whatever I find out. I want to embrace the uncertainty along the way. It's just hard. Ya know?

#kay can i just catch my breath for a second #queer #asexual #aromantic #ace #aro #my asexuality #my aromanticism

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yukidragon · 2 years ago

Note

The pregnancy AU is so dark but good. Realistic.

CW discussion of abuse and suicide mention

What Ian is doing to Alice in this AU is called post-separation abuse (and arguably stalking). Using child support money and visitation to keep his hooks in her are particularly dirty tactics, as is trespassing in to the hospital to hound her while she’s vulnerable after the birth, and the fact that his suicide attempt injuries are creating guilt in her.

He’s taking advantage of her inability to set boundaries and completely ignoring those of the hospital that are set for patients safety and wellbeing.

Ian paying for the flat trying to get Alice to move back in is favour sharking and trying to maintain control over her through financial means.

I do know exactly how dangerous Jack is after what he did to Nick. And that he’s also 100% manipulating MC/Alice, and half considered the theory that he may want to take over MCs body. I don’t think things will end well. But in this particular instance I’m actually more on Jack’s side and despite his ulterior motives think him hitting the call button to help Alice/talking to her about Ian’s manipulation is super reasonable.

Even from source material I genuinely don’t think Jack is the only shady manipulator in the game. Unstable yandere Ian is plausible.

Canonically Ian’s got his own issues resulting from abuse and is pitiful but he’s still got the upper hand financially and whether consciously or not he can be a manipulative softboy. Ian’s crying and incessant calls pressure MC, he talks about their history and grabs for any emotional hold he can get. They can’t afford to cut ties by moving out of the flat he knows the location of and presumably still has keys to, and he doesn’t give MC any choice around him returning to try and get back together. He knows the calls are unwanted as he “didn’t think you’d answer”.

He’s scary persistent. Abandonment issues are making him irrational. This is beginning to border on post separation abuse/stalking.

Plus to me Ian’s ‘intimacy’ while together seemed very one sided, kind of forced or forceful with what he did at the end. You’re welcome to disagree but I found it pretty difficult to listen to that encounter. His wants trumped her comfort level.

It’s ok if anyone likes him as a character, he’s cute, nobody is all bad and it is fictional.

I’m just saying I buy this AU because personally even canon Ian gives me bad vibes.

This is a very thoughtful analysis on the pregnant with Ian's child AU I posted here and here, but also MC's relationship with Ian as a whole. I'm also glad that you enjoyed the AU, even if it's pretty darn dark.

I have actually touched on Ian's personality in several past posts, particularly in this in depth one where I examined why he might have cheated. I do agree that Ian is being manipulative with his phone calls, from the way he words things to how he reminds MC of their past together and how much he loves and needs them. How far he'll go to get them back is something we'll have to wait and see, as the demo only gives us a glimpse into his desperation.

I do agree that Ian's sex scene was a bit rough to get through. You're not alone in thinking that he was being too forceful since he wouldn't let MC stop, pleading with them and even physically taking control away from them. Even MC thinks of it as them being used.

It was like being used. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I didn’t care if he WAS using me.

I won't go as far to say it's dubious consent, but it did feel like MC's ability to say no or stop was denied because Ian was horny and really wanted them to get him off.

Some people like being choked/suffocated during sex, but that's not everyone's fetish, and MC wasn't given a choice in the matter, nearly blacking out from lack of oxygen at the end.

It's possible that this is a similar situation to the sex scene in the "no" route where the writing didn't quite convey the tone intended. I'm willing to accept that may be the case and reserve my judgement for intent with the scene for when the updated demo comes out and reexamines that scene in particular when it comes to MC and the player's ability to make choices.

However, as we've seen in the demo, Ian gets pointers on how to have sex from ecchi/hentai. I don't know about you, but those sex scenes tend to have the penetrating male partner be excessively forceful, with the submissive partner at times protesting or even clearly saying "no," only to have it be framed as them actually being shy and wanting to be dominated so forcefully. It's a "romanticized" view of sex that lacks real communication for the sake of keeping the action going, as it were.

There are plenty of people who learn misinformation from hentai/ecchi/porn/word of mouth, especially if they're inexperienced, as MC and Ian are. Often times these types of porn are meant just to satisfy the straight male audience without considering other genders or orientations. There's plenty of bad lessons about toxic masculinity in these types of fiction and how much focus and glorification there is on the dominant male partner to get off. If the media shows that the other partner is satisfied by these actions that mostly just gratify the dominant male, and Ian is not getting feedback from his partner to tell him what they disliked, he can just happily think nothing is wrong with his technique.

This is especially true when it comes to having a partner who struggles to advocate for their own comfort if it might make the other partner feel bad. This is the narrative I'm exploring with Alice and Ian in Sunshine in Hell, and is part of why their relationship turned toxic. Lack of communication on boundaries, and Ian taking more from Alice than she should have been giving, ultimately led to an unhealthy dynamic between them.

As we've seen in the demo, while MC did take the lead at first during the sex scene, wanting to make Ian feel good, when they tried to pull back, he stopped them, giving them pleading eyes and saying it's the first time they got so far and it feels so good. They love him, so they give in to his needs. They're used to taking care of him and his needs, as we saw a few times earlier in the demo. He's sensitive, cries easily, and is very apologetic. Someone who is empathetic will have a hard time wanting to do anything that might upset him, like, say... telling him that what he's doing is hurting or suffocating them. They might even just skip asking him to return the favor by going down on them next since he's tired.

That's the case with Alice. She consented to sex with Ian, but there was this undercurrent of pressure to it. They're in love, it's what he wants, he says such sweet things, and it's something natural that couples do, right? If they don't have sex, well... isn't that just saying that she isn't attracted to him, like those bullies that mocked his looks? Isn't that comparing him to the people who forced SA on her? Isn't that saying that his sex drive is wrong like his mother always told him? I don't think pressuring her was a conscious choice on Ian's part, but when Alice struggled to deny him what he wanted and was so used to helping and taking care of him since he needed her... there's this undercurrent of obligation that encouraged her to just, well, "lie back and think of England" as the saying goes.

In their relationship, Alice's comfort and needs were sacrificed over and over for Ian's sake, because he needed her. He needed her to be the strong one, to support him. He had a shitty life and was all alone. He couldn't face the world without her. Without her, he had no one who loved and cared for him, no one to find him desirable. He got spoiled by her in ways... so when he no longer had her and he suddenly had to stand on his own... he felt very lonely. And very horny.

So it's really not any wonder that Ian was tempted when other people, besides Alice, started paying attention to him, liking him, and finding him desirable... especially in a place where Alice simply wasn't around to fulfil all his needs.

I think Ian is a really interesting character to explore. I do think his story arc is going to be one of redemption for his mistakes, both with the cheating and with their relationship in general. He's flawed, and I think that's the point. I don't think it's bad to like him or want to give him that second chance. I also don't think it's bad to dislike him and feel uncomfortable by the way he manipulates and pressures MC.

Ian has done damage to MC with his cheating. Whether or not the rest of his relationship with MC was healthy, well, I think that we might have to wait and see and/or do our own headcanons there. I'm sure for plenty of Ian fans, what went on between him and their MC was a lot healthier, just with a few hiccups and one major issue with his cheating.

I do know that Alice and Ian simply weren't a healthy relationship. They won't work together, even if he never cheated. Too much damage has been done and continues to be done. What Ian does with the phone calls is crushing to someone like Alice who only wants him to be happy... even though he broke her heart over and over again... and he continues to do so in a desperate attempt to return things to the way they used to be, when they were happy.

Ian just doesn't understand that there were too many times that his happiness came at the cost of Alice making herself unhappy... while she lied to herself that she was happy just because she made him happy.

To be fair to Ian, he can't exactly understand that he's taking too much when Alice doesn't love herself as much as she loves him.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask

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b-lessings · 5 months ago

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Assalmualaikum sis, can you please teach me how to say 'no' to people who are only there to take advantage of me. They are too polite to refuse. Everytime they talk to me, I fall into their trap and later realize I wasn't suppose to step on it in the first place. I have a close person in my family who only texts me when she is free or when she wants to talk for her own entertainment. I , despite having a lot of work to complete and a lot of studies to do, reply and then continue till eternity. At the end of the day, I am unable to finish my work. When I text her to talk or to share something, unfortunately she doesnt reply and stay hidden. I cannot block her cause she is a family member and a lot older than me. It hurts when family does that to you. How to be less sensitive and how to stop overthinking to the point I become nauseous?

Sorry for the loooooong ask. May Allah swt bless you sister. Love ya. :)

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته حبيبتي ✨

It sounds to me like you know exactly what to do, you just need to be brave enough to do it. You remind me of myself before I started therapy. My therapist helped me a lot with setting boundaries even with my own siblings, let alone extended family.

Listen sweetie, there is only one key: PUT YOURSELF FIRST. Love and appreciate yourself enough not to put yourself in a place where people use you or walk all over you. To give you a little example, if someone texts you, you do not have to leave everything you're doing and rush to answer them, no matter who they are (unless you choose to allow them to have that access to you, or let's say your parents), you have to decide if it's important enough, you have to decide to whom to give access to you. Not everyone deserves the luxury and privilege of being close to you.

I am not saying you should be rude, absolutely not, you are still going to treat people with kindness for the sake of Allah swt, but just draw a few boundaries here and there. At first, you're going to feel guilty, but there is nothing to feel guilty about. Eventually, you're going to get used to this new you, and you're going to love her!!

Good luck 🤍🤍

- A. Z. 🍃🤍

#asks #ask A.Z.

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hopesandmountains · 1 year ago

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Healing when you don’t exactly have a safe place at home takes extra steps.

Healing can require you to open old wounds in order to heal and nurture them, and some wounds take time to heal.

And sometimes you have to escape home life otherwise the wounds will only grow but then it’s also a bit scary walking out into the world carrying an emotional wound.

It takes time to build up boundaries and to learn how to protect yourself, and when it comes to emotional wounds, people can hurt you emotional (intentionally or not) in ways that aren’t immediately noticiable or recognizable.

And I try to spend my time in safe places like volunteering or club activities, but that still took learning how to internally monitor my feelings and to take my feelings of being unsafe seriously even when I couldn’t figure out why I felt that way.

And typing that out sounds obvious, but people with rough childhoods learn to tune out that feeling of being unsafe (when parents are arguing or fighting, you feel unsafe as a child, and as a child there’s not much you can do about feeling unsafe so you learn to ignore that feeling) and as an adult you have to learn how to listen to that feeling and to teach your past childhood self that you no longer just have to sit with that feeling of being unsafe, but that as an adult there are actionable ways you can work to make yourself feel safe again.

Sometimes that means just changing the topic of conversations, sometimes that means taking some time to breath and calm yourself, and if you are with friends you can trust sometimes all it takes is telling people how you feel.

Really as you learn, you will find that you aren’t as trapped as you may feel and that you can be creative in the ways you work to make yourself feel safe again. And really that’s what a lot of healing is about, remembering that internally you can be a creator who can think of new ways to heal and new ways to heal with feelings of overwhelm.

Walking around with wounds, sometimes you feel like a kid again and you look to other people to recognize and tend to your needs. And this can work but you also have to be careful because there really are people out there who will take advantage of vulnerable people (which is why it’s really really important to set boundaries to protect yourself and to listen to your feelings when something feels wrong or unsafe).

But really you want to also learn that you can tend to your wounds and work to feel safe by believing in yourself for a little bit, and thinking of and trying new ways of living a healthier and secure life.

With wounds I feel unsafe a lot of the time, but there are also times where I’ve had to stop and kind of realize that the feeling of being unsafe had intensified, so I’ve had to take some time to find out what was happening. Sometimes it’s old trauma wounds that are more a reflection of something that happened in the past, and sometimes I really needed to take a step back and think about ways to feel safe again.

And I don’t want discourage anybody from meeting new people or being social, actually when I’m feeling overwhelmed talking to people is what really helps.

I guess sometimes people see boundaries or being protective as ways that push people away, but when done properly, they are actually what makes me feel safe enough to be vulnerable and open with people.

#and remember that you can always take things slow when you feel overwhelmed #boundaries #self care #self worth #mental health #childhood trauma #childhood neglect #healing

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ifuckingloveryoshu · 6 months ago

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Bleh. Not really tagging I need to un-blorbify Ryoshu in my head but also, I want to be selfish and keep thinking self shipping thoughts. What a hassle. I already tell people that I write her or characterize her too nice. That is my bias, (not that I am writing anything at all even, its all just imaginary again) and what have you. The rest of this post is more about my thoughts on what I've read about the book Violence: A Writers Guide by Roy Miler, and vaugly rambling.

I have a pdf of the book, Violence: A Writers Guide. I still haven't set the time off to read it because I am infamous for managing time and acting on impulse. Anyways.

I feel when people do dislike Ryoshu or just see her as only sadistic murderer, they are here. I guess. Contrary to the name, I can understand why people not like Ryoshu. Honestly, as long as she continues to be written well, I will keep loving her even if her views don't align with mine. I'm prepared for if Ryoshu turns out to be the greatest artist of all the lands but ends up not the greatest mother. Hard to vocalize but you can dearly love your child so, so much, but activly be hurting them. I never want that to be forgotten because LOVE itself is a double edged sword. Never the end all be all. To open youself up to others and to live loved and loving means opening yourself up to getting hurt or hurting them. Someone else who has more life experience then I do, more experince with living, and one who is more sure of themselves could explain it better. I am not in the right place. Oh, but it is still varying from person to person, as lot of things dealing with humans tend to do.

Its too late to be typing so much but, from what section of this i've read are the levels of agression as followed: Nice, Manipulative, Assertive, Agressive, Assaultive, and Murderous. Nice are pacifist who don't use any agression. Manipulative takes advantage of nice people by passivly getting their way (maybe think blackmail or just good 'ol manipulation.) Assertive will set bounderies and use soft power to inforce those boundaries, Agressive will make threats of violence and yell out (think heavy verbal abuse.). Assultive will actually hit the aggressive person and feel justified about it. Murderous is just good ol murder.

Ryoshu is murderous but all the people on that bus have to be knocked down to the assultive level by default. They can't activly go around murder hoboing all the time. Outis is the only other sinner who I'd put in murderous because she can openly advocates like a professional. To quote the book, "A professional does not fight you, doesn’t even think about fighting you. He takes you out." And I think that fits Outis well if she weren't just stuck to Dante. Or I'm overestimating Outis' capabilities. Meursalt just doesn't apply to this scale at all. He is a special case that just does as hes told with little to no fuss. Hes not suggesting murder but he'll just do it if hes told. Even if hes not told, even before the bus, I still haven't read his book but come on. We kind of know the sun in the eyes thing.

Side Tangent: Hong Lu, Gregor and Yi Sang are in assertive. Hong Lu, im skeptical about because he is confusing. I have no idea what's going on in his brain, he has lived in an enviornment of high violence probably while being in a Nest which is strange. He just acts so care free, but there's something else there. We all know. Sinclair is just being forced gradually up there to assultive. Yi Sang has been persecuted but violence is not his first answer to things. Even if Gregor was in the Smoke War as a war veteran, his attitude does not strike me as assultive because he tries to talk things out, he was more of a PR boy, and what his bug arm does unvoulentarily is diffrent from what Gregor himself wants to do. Sinclair just keeps going from agrressive to assaultive, then to murderous with Kromer. He's developing and breaking out of his shell so he really isn't set.

I'm going to bed but

GMD: Not Limbus but uninvited guest in uhh Library Of Ruina

EBD: Virgilius and Don Quinnote scene. Virgillius just to any sinner. Maybe N Corp and Kromer and Sinclair to teach Sinclair a lesson. Uh. Erliking Heathcliff to Heathcliff roughly.

SSS: Anything sydicate related honestly.

Predatory Violence is just The City. It's just the way of the City, at least the areas outside the Nest.

There is a lot more intresting stuff in this book. Maybe when I decide to read more, ill just screw around I guess. uh. Thank for reading.

#metaposting

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queermania · 1 year ago

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So I just read a post canon fix it fic that I'm struggling with. The concept was Dean is still alive and rescues Cas from the Empty because he's in love with him too then instead of getting together Dean decides he needs to get his act together so he goes to AA and AA has a rule that you can't date anyone for the first year. So Dean goes through all of this while living with Cas and basically stringing Cas along or I guess not stringing him along because it does lead to them getting together at the end of the year so I guess my problem is just that I don't understand why he would need to wait a year to be with the guy he loves. It's almost infantalizing like poor Dean can't be trusted to make a decision about who he loves because he's an alcoholic. Alcoholics and addicts aren't children who can't be trusted with feelings. Sorry I just got really mad. Lol.

i've been sitting on this for awhile because this is a complex issue and when it comes to dean winchester specifically, i think any conversation about his relationship with alcohol necessitates a discussion about what constitutes addiction, what constitutes being an addict, what constitutes recovery, what constitutes sobriety, etc. and that's not really a discussion i'm equipped to have on tumblr dot com.

but i will say that i've seen push back on the one year rule floating around tumblr and other social media sites for years now. there seems to be this misconception that the rule is a sort of extension of the idea of "if you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to" and from that perspective, i get the push back. but that's not why the rule exists. it's not even a rule. it's a guideline, and it exists to protect people in recovery, not coddle or infantilize them, or strip them of their independence.

people who are suddenly sober after months or years of using are vulnerable–emotionally, mentally, and physically. their brain chemistry is literally different. they're in a position they haven't been in for a long time (if ever) and it's very common for people recovering to try to sublimate their addiction with attention from another person. it's kind of like a smoker who is trying to quit and ends up snarfing down chocolate. anything to staunch the craving.

obviously sublimating drugs with romance or sex isn't good, but the real issue is that it leaves already-vulnerable people perfectly positioned to be taken advantage of. and this isn't me trying to psychoanalyze a situation. it's a known phenomenon in recovery communities—that predators go after recovering addicts in the early stages of their recovery—to the point that it's a "joke." people (typically men but not always) who are farther along in their recovery prey on the newbies. out here the joke is that they're 13th steppers (like they've completed the full 12 steps and the next one is to take advantage of someone who is just starting out). "watch out for jim. he's a 13th stepper." i'm sure the terminology varies from place to place but the fact that it's a long-standing "joke" in the community says a lot.

but anyway, that's the point. it's not that addicts aren't equipped for love or whatever. it's that when you're that early in your recovery, you're vulnerable. your self-esteem is at an all-time low. you have no experience with setting and maintaining boundaries. you're most likely isolated (or at least alienated) from your family and friends. you're lonely. you're overwhelmed with emotions. you'd do anything for someone to love you and be proud of you, and if you can't get that, negative attention is still attention.

and those are problems even if someone has the best intentions. it's very easy to fall into patterns that are bad for everybody.

now i have no idea if this is what's happening in the fic. i haven't read it. i don't even know what fic you're talking about. personally, i have complex feelings about dean and his relationship to alcohol (and "recovery"). i also have very complicated feelings about the traditional ideas of addiction and sobriety in general. but i felt compelled to defend the one year rule at least a little bit. i'm not saying it's a perfect rule and should be followed to the letter, but it exists for a reason and that reason is a good one.

#replies #anonymous #addiction cw

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unhingedkinfessions · 1 year ago

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hi hi !!! its me again <3 kin walmart anon :)

after reading other peoples experiences, ive gotta talk about something that ive noticed is a pretty common thing amongst certain types of kin servers. and thats just… blacklists that are both user compiled and extremely strict.

this never made sense to me. especially if said blacklist is 400 miles long and has some of the wackiest shit on it. i actually still have access to the one from kin walmart, here are some of my favs:

- the word “bounce”

- the phrase “bouncing ball”

- mother mentions (all forms: mom, mother, etc)

- oranges (the fruit)

- school/mentions of schoolwork

- therapy

- Talking about private conversations/going to have a private conversation in a public setting

- any mention of the ocean

im also going to say, blacklists are fine. user compiled blacklists are okay but… i think there should be a better way to manage them. especially in spaces that have 100+ members. no hate to anyone who has these triggers either. i just think that there’s a line. there should be a line. and most times, ive found that the line is nonexistent. it should be up to user’s specifically to adjust their experience accordingly. im so sorry that i want to talk about the bouncing ball i stole from dollar general, maybe just dont read the conversation.

i understand that this take can be somewhat controversial, its why i don’t… talk about it without hiding behind anonymity. but i think, especially in kin spaces, blacklists are almost… idk.. taken advantage of?

idk this ended up being more rambly than intended, i just love talking about kin walmart and some of the whacky shit that went on there. stay tuned for our next episode; kin home depot

- kin walmart anon

NO YOU'RE SO RIGHT IS THE THING. there is a point where you need to be responsible for yourself and not place the responsibility/blame on others for not remembering every trigger on a mile long blacklist. you have to know when to step away from a conversation if there's a topic that triggers or upsets you, not demand everyone else conform to You. especially if it's extremely specific (such as the bounce example you gave) or extremely vague and frequently mentioned (moms, school, etc.). there's a lot of issues with those kinds of things and if you're in a Public space with lots of people, you gotta be responsible for your own well-being. it's different if it's a smaller group of friends, of course. there's a difference between 'friends' who continuously overstep your boundaries/comfort and large servers where people are just going to make general discussion about whatever.

the amnt of servers ive been in w mile-long user-compiled blacklists where people throw a gd Fit if you so much as allude to one of the 5000 "problematic medias" theyve put on the bl.... ok not that much actually cuz im thinking of one example in particular i was in multiple servers w. but you know. and a lot of shit can just be like. squicks or stuff they don't like, rather than something that will genuinely trigger them.

i swear some kinnies just can't manage big servers in general. once i was in a server of at Least 100 members - that was not even a kin server, it was for smth else but had a lot of kinnies - where there weren't any like, actual chat moderators (just some ppl who had permissions for unrelated reasons). there was a user-compiled blacklist that was rarely updated w requests, and one day out of boredom & frustration with the lack of organization, i went and sorted the long ass list by Category and Alphabetically. i was not even a mod i just DID THAT. the admins of that server sucked so bad they didn't know how to manage anything and were generally some of the worst people on the planet.

#Anonymous #kin walmart anon #mod bender #kinfessions #sorry this got long. LOL.#i also mirror anon's sentiments that specific/vague/ANY trigger is okay and valid to have ok? you can't control what triggers you #it's just a matter of people making it Other ppls problem. and not stepping away if you're upset. n expecting 100+ ppl to revolve around u #kin server stories

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