#even if its just me 99% of the time
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okay I'm being a hypocrite now bUT LISTEN;
After seeing both House (which is expected) and Cuddy (not so expected) try and shut down his relationship I kinda get why Wilson didn't tell anyone.
He found someone that makes him happy who just happens to fit the profile of the man he enables and now everyone's trying to end it? I...would probably not tell anyone either.
Knowing how things go in this show... can't have happiness for too long. Something gotta go tits up.
I'm dreading the later seasons but I'll be a big boy for now.
#rambles to the void#house md#james wilson#apologies in advance to the house community here#but i gotta tell someone#even if its just me 99% of the time#have i mentioned how much i would have loved a house and poi crossover?#with how many times house gets himself in danger either by himself or external forces his number would show up crazy#all im saying is that shooting episode probably would have gone different with team machine#anyway
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the whole "jason rules crime alley and none of the other bats are allowed there!!1!" thing is so funny like. tim LITERALLY lives in the theater where bruce's parents died,
#rimi talks#sorry. thought about tim doing that again. what is WRONG with him kfjshakjdshfkjd#WITHOUT EVEN TELLING BRUCE UNTIL AFTER HED ALREADY DONE IT TOO.#TIMOTHY. WHY.#this is the other thing abt why i just dont like seeing jtodd in fanwork#whenever he appears like 99% of the time its in a way that is directly contradictory to actual comics#the 1% of people who actually read the comics and write him in such a way? fine great awesome!!#however i still am filtering that bitch out because hes kind of a catch-all for the most annoying batfanon tropes.#because. yknow. theres no other tags to filter out bc they dont Fucking tag it#alas. oh well. anyways can we go back to going hey tim what is wrong with you#because for real i think he got off way too easy for this one.#forget identity reveals i want the core four sleepover where tim's apartment gets its lore reveal#give me cassie doing such a dramatic spit take that she gets ice cream on the ceiling. picks up tim like a weasel. and goes WHY???#and hes just like. idk seemed like the right thing to do :)#tim
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reading the vampire lestat and its borderline unreadable. i keep having to put my phone down and just breathe through the rage that i know so many wonderful writers fighting tooth and nail to get their works even seen let alone published but anne rice can write absolute drivel like, "i am the vampire lestat and today i am wearing a beautiful leather outfit while i ride my harley davidson through the city" (actual line) and the book is one of the most popular genre novels of all time.
#iwtv book lb#like its not even bad in a haha funny way like its just bad#also i hate first person novels like 99% of the time and this isn't going in the 1% let me tell ya
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will you break and take all the words from my mouth?
#klance#voltron#vld#keith kogane#lance mcclain#IM BITING RIPPING AND TEARING#THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE SONG I PROMISED.#THE LANCE SONG.#i will literally guarantee satisfaction if you just go listen#not to mention its a fucking banger in general#it gets a fucking 99% klance match score. it has tension. some resentment. lots of love. overwhelming everything. god#this comic would be like right around the beat drop at 2 min btw.#me finally putting lance thru it for once instead of keith LOL#tumblr user heynhay be like STORYTELLING THROUGH COLOR CAN WE USE THE PALETTE TO BUILD THE NARRATIVE PLEASE!!!#BUT BACK TO THE SONG#IT HAS EVERYTHING. EVEN REFERENCES TO BOOTS. LONG HAIR. OUTDATTED 80s FASHION.#REFERENCES TO BEING RUDE TO THEM IN ORDER TO GET THEIR ATTENTION.#REFERENCES TO BEING ANGRY BC YOU CANT STOP THINKING ABT THEM#i unironicallyt must have listened to this one hundreds of times on loop while drawing this. enjoy.#art#my art#btw keith is explaining some deranged shit hes like: (with big sparkly anime eyes) do you wanna go build a pipe bomb and blow up that bldng
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i get and agree with all the criticism on how fictional characters have been sanitized to never have any real flaws but if you think that flaws like selfishness are inherently more interesting and better written than flaws like low self esteem you're simply not as media literate as the sense of superiority you've developed to cope makes you think you are
#selfishness is as much a garden variety character flaw as 'insecurity' or whatever#and 99% of the time it's not interesting at all it's just 'ooh I've suffered so now I don't care'#and yeah 99% of the time insecurity is treated as 'my mom didn't say she was proud of me 🥺' but it can be fascinating too#like. i simply think that if you think good writing is good writing by virtue of its surface level character struggles#then you're not looking too deep into it lol#like im tired of ppl who have a sense of superiority for always being into the same white man with a vaguely sad backstory who sucks#ur blorbo type is just as cliche as the insecure crying white man bestie. perhaps even more so because insecurity in men IS stigmatized#whereas selfishness particularly in white men is actively encouraged in a capitalist society lol
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i always feel like there's such an underappreciated aspect of lumpus being the one to have feelings for slinkman (over the years) which is that there's something so Hilarious about him wanting to dump his head in a vat of acid because he's thinking stupid mushy shit, or Worse, about this Thing again
who also does not pick up on this at all and just thinks he's being weird again
#camp lazlo#talk#shipping stuff#scoutmaster lumpus#slinkman#slinkman.jpg is always there for us#you love your silly little slug don't you scoutmaster lumpus...#''an underappreciated aspect'' there's only like 3 people in the world who've ever written in-depth thoughts about them in general syd#it's just so easy for me because i also see slinkman doing anything and i'm like (holding my head in my hands) wtf#My Beloved Slinkman Calms Me Down#i think about it a lot though because before i started joining in over here#slinkman being the one with the crush is what i would see like 99% of the time#but i Literally had to actually go and plot things out for lumpus to get better before i could see slinkman liking him back#and that's also why i have this Entire larger picture here#where in the grand scheme of things i'm not even really imposing on canon in that way...#i'm not really planning for tension to be at the forefront there#its some other weird shit going on. y'know. until other stuff gets revealed in the past and the future#the whole process here is like a 30-year journey we're taking the advanced course and still not ending with anything labelled#so i do get it especially with lumpus being preoccupied with jane#and yet still not for a moment have i subscribed to slinkman having feelings first ☝️
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it kind of sucks when all your friends and family, everyone you know, are all pairing off and getting married and havinf families, except you. you're the only one that doesn't have a partner and probably can/will never get one. especially if one around you has time for you anymore, they never reach out, never get back to you, because they're only focused on their partners and families. you're stuck alone and drift away from everyone through no fault of your own. you have no hope of finding your own partner or no motivation to look for one for whatever reason. the lack of connections while seeing everyone around you having their own can get overwhelmingly lonely at times....
#autism#autistic#asexual#aromantic#these are probably the two factors that put me in this position#im undateable because im too autistic to form any connections with people and cant even make or keep friends around for long#so how would i ever try to date anyone????#and also asexual which makes it harder. and aromantic (not sure what kind if its like demi and i just need to meet “the one”#and form a connection first to actually have any feelimgs for anyone or not sure if I simply cannot experience romantic attraction#either way its a lonely existence in a world where 99% of people pair off or obsessed with trying to partner up#and theres less value/time/effort put on friendships#ON TOP OF being autistic and forming any connections at ALL is an extremely difficult task that seems to always fail on me!#lee rants#lee rambles#im actually visiting a friend and her gf (who is also friend but we are less close) so i know not everyone partners and shuns friends#but they live in another country and i cant visit all the time so it doesnt help this lonely shit feeling all the time D: to have ~1 friend#would be nice to have all the close benefits and of a dating partnership without the physical stuff and pressure of “dating”#if thar makes sense. best friends but life patners. the person is obligated to help me and bw there for me at all times#someone who chooses me first instead of others. someone that doesnt make me their last choice all the time#their very comfortable to be around and we relate and get along perfectly and make up for each others weaknesses#my favorite person and im their favorite person#they usually always say yes to me and include me and im their first choice for eveything#they respect my needs and boundaries and work with me if we have a misunderstanding or disagreement.#its so hard to find people like this. someone who matches me well enough to fit all these picky things i want#someone who would like me enough to be like this. someone im comfortable with and like who fits the energy i want#even if someone liked ME enough and was these thjngs if they arent comfortable or match my energy then i dont want them#im not desperate enough to take Anyone ans im extremely picky about it#being aroace makes any kind of datimg very hard because theres ~less fish in the sea~#but being autistic makes it EVEN HARDER becuase i cant even make and keep FRIENDS so how would i have a /partner/ ?????#sighs. i think im meant to live a lonely life and need to learn to accept it
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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Let me be absolutely clear -- the problems with Tumblr will keep getting worse if the disabled minority and the trans people and the people frothing at the mouth at the opportunity to yell at a transphobe, keep @’ing staff and the developers on this site, tell them to kys, because in the meanwhile the transphobes and racists and white supremacists will keep using the actual tools Tumblr provides for blocking and reporting, further poisoning the datasets used for moderation, and encouraging the idea that using the official tools does nothing to basically ensure the only statistically meaningful data available to Automattic is poisoned, poisoned all the way down, poisoned beyond usability.
Hatespeech and bias needs to be reported for it to be considered statstically significant to act on from a developer point of view. Suicide baiting and spamming any of the official means of communication will get you eliminated as a spammer, even if you’re peppering legitimate criticism within your ventpost about how you hate the new thing. You are playing the TE/RFs game.
#van stuff#the biggest reason we don't have an easily accessible 'report hatespeech' button is a) because people misused the old one#and b) because it's not satistically significant enough to be the first thing people want to report#this is like. COMMON fucking knowledge that moderation on Tumblr is 99% automated and extremely cheesable#and you now who are cheesing it? TRANSPHOBES!!!#Like this is not even a 'the developers won't care' kind of thing#this is a 'THE DEVELOPERS NEED HARD DATA TO JUSTIFY MAKING CHANGES'#if the ARE actively malicious then the data contradicting everything they're saying will FORCE changes#and if they mean what they say when they say they value the site for its vibrant culture#then giving them hard data to share with unconvinced people signing off on them having the budget to change things will ONLY help#the whole 'let's yell at staff every time anything happens' is a shibboleth#You're all being fucking exhausting#I want to quit Tumblr because if the userbase is gonna be like this!!!#If ALL I SEE for DAYS ON END is 'staff this' 'staff that'#that's JUST GIVING ME WORSE ANXIETY ABOUT THIS SITE GOING DOWN#'this change is bad for disabled users' YOUR NEEDLESS CONSTANT HOSTILITY AND PANIC RAISING IS ALSO BAD FOR ME A DISABLED USER#WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE???#'Oh staff could make so much money if they only listened to feedback' you fuckers DON'T LEAVE FEEDBACK THOUGH#you just @ Staff and think that that's statistically meaningful data they can use#Fuck's sake#And that's not counting all the times staff *did* implement changes we wanted for years... AND YOU ALL STILL COMPLAINED#WE MODDED TAG VIEWING IN FOR YEARS AND NOW WHEN IT'S OFFICIAL YOU FUCKERS DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO TURN IT OFF#Fucking EXHAUSTING the lot of you
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#currently raging rn and its taking everything I have in me to NOT snap at my roommate#basically its been a year of her neglecting her cats#not cleaning literally one single thing in this apartment ever even though she makes the mess 99% of the time#and not being able to admit she has a problem when clearly does have a problem with hoarding stuff anf trash and it makes this#a pretty sucky apartment to live in !#but no this morning i wake up to her being ABSOLUTELY discusted with me because!#last night in the night when i was changing my pad without glasses i got a drop of blood on the floor b/c period#and she literally was like this is gross and how could you expect me to clean that and like going forward please dont do this again???#and i literally just want to be like have you fucking heard of accidents before??#like of course ill clean it up!!#but like do you really think i purposely bleed on the floor and then ignored it????#also the fact that shes done the same thing about 6 times but apparently hasnt noticed before#also shes not okay with that but she is okay with ignoring the litter boxs#having bugs because she cant clean up after herslef#and literally not being able to use certain parts of our apartment because her stuff is piled up so high#theres literally no room!#sorry i am just raging so hard rn#like the anger i feel from within is so great#like literally theres still vomit on the floor from where she threw up and never cleaned it up#its fine im just so fucking MAD
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this is another thing that probably doesnt matter at all but as someone who's interest in vocal synthesis is in large part because of the software and technological aspects, every time i see someone trying to explain the use of deep learning/neural/AI/etc in vocal synthesizers and they say that "the only thing the AI does is help make the pitch transitions smoother" im like white knuckle gripping the table muttering under my breath like no....that is. incorrect.
#there is a big misconception that deep learning synths technologically are the same as concatenative like a series of samples#stretched and stitched and resynthesized together with the 'AI' only referring to an automatic pitch system#and i understand where the misconception comes from. its probably a combination of early marketing of deep learning synths#(am i insane or did ahsoft use to market AI rikka etc as standing for 'automatic intonation'.... did i make that up)#plus trying to separate ai vocal synths from like chatgpt and whatever#BUT. that is not how it works. i think the only synth ive seen that does have that functionality is the very recently released miku nt2?#which i think is still in beta anyway LOL#i thought there was maybe some early synthv banks like the plus banks that did that too initially#but the plus banks are actually AI models trained off of their concatenative samples iirc#but yeah.......... ai voicebanks are just straight up deep learning models of voices with a lot of built in control tools in software#(what notes to sing what parameters to change tone etc)#the vocal provider sings a whole lot. the programmers go in and carefully label all the data. etc etc#they are more ethical than like some of those sketchy song generators in that the data used to train these models is obtained via#licensing and direct input by vocal providers who are getting paid and giving consent etc. but the technology is the same type of thing#i dont even like or care for randomly generated gpt whatever the fuck i find it super uninteresting 99% of the time#but i do love a good ethically made deep learning based vocal synthesizer voicebank and i really dislike technological misinformation#dont stand to close to me or i will start explaining to you about linear predictive coding speech analysis. DO NOT test me
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just checked on my old friends fbs for the first time in almost 10 years years 3949484 dead 39103472929473929384729393 injured
#ohhhhhhhhh im so stupid. im SO stupid#ITS CRAZY HOW TIME JUST. PASSES. FOR EVERYONE BUT ME..........#wow this is so crazy i hate being 27 now i understand why every kills themselves around rthis point <3#oh babes this is DREADFUL. WOEFUL even.#OH THIS IS SOOOOOO BAD. IM SO STUPID THIS IS WHY I DONT HAVE SOCIAL MEDIA !!!#man can someone tell me with 99% certainty that my thirties will be ok.#like i do not have a single friend in my current city and also my current city is my home city bc im not leaving#am i cooked. be honest chat.#its crazy that a guy who made me DROP OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL AFTER TWO ******* ******** ended up getting a phd in theoretical particle physics.#LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL#OHHHHHHHHHH IM DOING SO BAD <3
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i think it’s kind of hysterical that - out of any piece of media that could possibly have a straight relationship that passes the sniff test for me - it’s this one, considering like *gestures to the misogyny*
#very much a product of its time and genre - which is not an excuse but contextualizes why it’s Like That#but they really did something with this particular relationship#honestly probably not fully on purpose but#it really checks a lot of the boxes i look for in straight relationships#i like the woman to have the upper hand at least 90% of the time#bonus points if this is because she has a greater awareness of what is happening in the plot than the man#they have to be willing to do anything for each other (potentially in very unhinged misconceived and toxic ways)#but they must treat each other with tenderness that underlies even their worst arguments#and yeah like… it passes…#the way they treat each other honestly makes me insane like. YES they fuck up a lot#but they’re also sooooooo good to each other - they try so hard despite everything#and of course it’s all the more compelling since they fail in the end#but like. the love was there - you know?#and not the love they were made to have for each other - a love THEY created all their own#which is not necessarily romantic to me… this is why i keep calling them life partners#bc that’s what i think they would have been to each other if they could have survived and made it work#i think they respect each other too much to be in a romantic relationship#(which probably sounds weird out of context - but just trust me on this)#idk idk idk tho - i’m obsessed#i feel like they’re probably a somewhat popular ship but i also feel like at least 99% of people ship them Wrong so#🤷🤷🤷🤷#i shall remain in ignorance
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:)
#A nice episode :) I have a lot of headache tho and forgot everything I wanted to say#The ss/kk is nice :) It's nice every time Akutagawa spontaneously saves Atsushi seemingly with no reason to#The animation was very nice! It's evident a lot of money and effort went into this season and these last episodes in particular#And I like the art style a lot better than the one in the other seasons. Even season 4 where the animation is comparatively as good#What more. The Kyouka screentime is nice. The whole Guild aftermath celebrations section is very nice and heartwarming to watch#I still take a lot of issues with the entire way Kyouka's entrance exam was conceived but I think they're fairly self-explanatory.#Also fundamentally coherent with b/sd's general worldviews so#But even then there's a line that bothers me to an unexplainable amount from the first time I watched it to now.#The “it hurts” when she's hugging Atsushi. And I've reflected over that line so long from the moment I first heard it...#I think. Its meaning is to symbolize how being in the light sometimes will still result to be too overwhelming for Kyouka–#to the point at times it will still end up hurting her. But that doesn't make it any less worth it#So to say‚ there's no such thing as perfect happy endings. But she is going to be okay nonetheless#BUT IT STILL BUGS ME. I feel like it's part of a school of thought for whom we should just accept the fact that there's evil in the world–#that we can't eradicate. And nothing can be done about it. Which I don't think is a functional or useful way of thinking?#ALSO I know it's. Most definitely‚ 99% not how the scene is supposed to be interpreted#BUT ATSUSHI IS THE ONE HUGGING AND THUS HURTING HER and you know how there is this very slight narrative that seemingly–#frames Kyouka and Atsushi as romantic partners and like... Idk.#In that context the line almost feels expression of a narrative of wives having to bear pain that is natural and unavoidable.#I know this definitely wasn't the intended meaning it's just a bad impression for some reason I can't be able to shrug off even after years#But don't listen to me#I don't think there's anything else to add. Overall a very good episode.#Take a shot every time someone says “all according to Dazai's plan”#random rambles
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oh in different news i think my outfit is nice today. i like think ive worn this outfit before and talked abt it then and its Exactly the same as all my other outfits (me and this black dress were like this 🤝) but i think its nice .
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fb77b9ccf989038462e25f60b3f408dd/553c83cb6350870e-00/s540x810/3a36cd9f2eefdd31e6f9f64abe9635b23afbd684.jpg)
jawdrop for scale.
#im so bad at like taking pictures of outfits bc my natural tendency is to just sort of stand . in pictures#but ya. then its just my shoes and like. tights. i wish i still had white tights but theyre like. beige#the shoes r my one shoes that i have JFBFJF the ones i got for work. since theyve returned to me.... i think this outfit would look cute#with my boots but 1. we are going to an apple orchard so 6 inch platforms would not be the move 2. they were famously broken. by annie#i told my mom abt how my dad said we could look for someone to fix them and stuff. bc he told me to find one and then give him the details#but then i got too scared to give him the details even tho he asked -_- nd my mom was just like. we can get that done its fine and i was#like yeahh but the terrors. sigh#idk. my boots may or may not just wallow as is forever. sorry granny#one thing abt me tho is i do straight up dress in black and white like 99% of the time im sorryyy i just dont think i look good in colors#i do have one colorful dress that i like but its kind of desaturated in some ways... i like that one tho. so yes i suppose i dress in black#and white Or sort of brown
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