#even if it's 'bad' i promise you anything you create yourself will be 100 times better than what an ai could make using your description

[candiedcolloquium]

"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Let's Not Make This Complicated

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader x Kurt Wagner

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: unprotected sex, lots of hickeys, oral (f receiving), fingering, dp(vaginal), cockwarming kind of, creampie, everybody got dirty mouths, lots of pet names- I feel like I'm missing something but idk

Genre: hella fluff, hella smut

Summary: You Logan and Kurt are friends and Roommates, but it seems you're the only ones that see your relationship that way.

A/N: How did we get here? I don't have an answer- enjoy

***

You sigh to yourself as you slump further into the seat of your desk.

"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good." Kurt appears on your desk, shocking you slightly.

"I've told you 100 times not to teleport onto my desk Wagner!" You point at him.

"Force of habit." He shrugs. "What troubles you liebling?"

"Charles. Kind of. He wanted so badly for mutants to have a safe haven and trying to create one is- overwhelming. I hope every god in every pantheon curses William Task and that whole damn company."

"What you're doing is working fine! You put too much pressure on yourself." He frowns.

"I just- I can't help but wonder does it make sense to isolate them this way though? Mutants are not a secret anymore. Would they be better off intermingled with the rest of the world?" You sigh.

"I don't follow, do you expect kids who do not even understand themselves to introduce themselves to a world that also does not understand them? It's not the professor's school, but that's not what is needed. We meet the mutants, we bring here where they are protected and guide them until they can ride the bike on their own. Is like foster care. No?"

"Foster care?" You laugh.

"Bad comparison?" He tilts his head.

"It's a fine comparison KW it just made me laugh."

"Well that's better than the sound I heard when I got here." Kurt nods with satisfaction. A knock on the door frame of your office pulls both you and Kurt's attention to the entryway.

"Obligatory collection because you made me promise that you get away from here at least two nights a week. Oh hey Kurt, you're here tonight?" Logan leans against the frame with his arms crossed.

"With Jean." Kurt nods.

"So the residents are in at least one set of capable hands, you ready?" Logan looks at you.

"My to-do list never seems to end." You say.

"Which means it'll still be there in the morning, after you've gotten a good night's sleep." Logan walks over and practically yanks you out of your chair.

"Wait- Logan I just-"

"Nope. I don't wanna hear it." He shakes his head cutting you off.

"Should you be pulling her-"

"If I don't get her out of here now you know and I know she'll never leave on her own and I don't plan on sitting around the office an extra 3 hours while she pleads with me to do 'just one more thing' over and over again." Logan says to Kurt.

"Oh don't do that you make me sound like an incurable workaholic." You kiss your teeth at him as you grab your keys and bag.

"You are! I have to make sure you don't sleep here! You'd be screwed if you lived alone." Logan says.

"Disagree! Kurt would you let me stay here 24/7 if we didn't all share a place?"

"Of course not liebling I would take you home myself if need be but I don't believe Logan would leave you either even if we didn't all live together." Kurt winks.

"I would." Logan scoffs.

"Thank you Kurt. I'd better go before the big bad wolf tries to blow my house down. Good luck tonight, call if you need anything!"

"He'd better not, we all live there." Kurt smiles.

"Do not call her!" Logan warns as he pulls you out of the office.

"Why would you say that? What if they have an emergency?" You pout.

"Then they should call emergency services! Kurt and Jean are adults more than capable of handling an emergency without you. You are supposed to be off tonight. If you insist I make sure you leave work semi-regularly you have to leave work when I come all the way down here just to pick you up and you can't just be on call at home otherwise you'll never actually get any rest." Logan says opening the passenger door and guiding you into his car.

"You make a great mother hen you know." You quip.

"One of these days I'll just leave you to rot in that office chair of yours." He rolls his eyes as he slides in and shuts the door.

"Kurt wouldn't allow that." You stick your tongue out.

"So have Kurt be your overwork prevention monitor."

"Kurt's hardly at home! You didn't even know he was working tonight."

"Yeah so don't complain about how I do it." He says.

"Be honest, you'd feel some type of way if I started asking Kurt to take me home instead of you." You say.

"Oh no, please ask Kurt instead. I'm sure it's easier for him since he can teleport."

"Fine then, next time I'll just ask Kurt to take me."

"I'd love to see that." Logan scoffs.

"You will. As soon as I work another day shit. Don't bother coming to get me. I'm serious." You say matter-of-factly.

"If you say so." He hums. You let the conversation end there, enjoying the rest of the drive in silence ready to shower and head to bed for the night.

"Liebling!" Kurt comes strolling into your office quickly drawing your attention away from your email.

"Yes Kurt?" You ask.

"I think it's time for us to get outta here." He says.

"What time is it?"

"It's 9:30, and Henry and Storm are here to take over."

"Oh- did you tell them about the-"

"The new kids wreaking havoc? Yes they are prepared. Storm is- Storm she can more than handle them and Henry can handle the nice ones." Kurt shrugs. "Come now, shut down your computer, let's go home." Kurt walks over to you and spins your chair to face him. He leans forward, resting his hands on the armrests of the chair.

"Kurt-"

"Liebling, the kids here need you, yes but you can only be here for them if you're alive and preferably well-rested. Come home with me." Kurt says softly.

"What did I miss out on?" Logan's voice surprises you both. Kurt backs off and you turn your head towards the door.

"Logan? What are you doing here?" You ask.

"Coming to make sure you get home at a reasonable hour like I always do." He says.

"I told you Kurt was going to do that. Remember you whined about it last week so I said I'd have Kurt take care of it." You frown.

"I didn't think you were serious." He scoffs.

"What's the big deal? We all live together. As long as she gets home, who cares?" Kurt shrugs.

"Yeah Logan, what's the big deal?" You ask.

"There isn't one." Logan grits out.

"Then I will take her home and we'll meet you there." Kurt says.

"Man I drove all the way here, aren't you just going to teleport?"

"If it's such a hassle to drive home now you can always spend the night here Logan. You know where my room is." You suggest. Logan's eyes narrow and you briefly peak into his thoughts to see what those eyes are conveying.

What is she trying to get me out of the apartment?

"I am not!" You gasp.

"Not what?" Kurt frowns, looking between the two of you.

"Stay the fuck outta my head we've talked about that." Logan says.

"Everything with you is such a big secret." You say.

"And I'm allowed to keep whatever secrets I want."

"If you guys are going to continue this bickering may I suggest that you do it at home so we can all get out of here?" Kurt butts in.

"You can leave if you want Kurt." Logan says.

"Logan that was rude." You say. He takes in a deep breath.

"My bad Kurt."

"Ah no worries I'm more than familiar with your abrasive tendencies." Kurt shrugs.

"Well, since you drove all the way here already anyway Logan, can we all just ride home together?"

"Yeah. Fine." Logan says. Kurt grabs your bag before you can get to it, and the three of you leave your office. Back at your apartment, you quickly leave the boys to go take a shower.

"Kurt man what's going on with you and y/n?" Logan asks Kurt once you're safely out of earshot.

"What's going on with me and y/n? What's going on with you and y/n? You clearly did not like me bringing her home. Trouble in paradise?"

"Don't do that."

"I don't understand if you like her so much why you do nothing."

"It's complicated, we all live together."

"Do not factor me into this equation." He shakes his head.

"You act as if you like her more than I do, it's hard not to factor you in."

"Are you threatened?"

"Excuse me?"

"By the idea that I may also like her? Does it bother you?"

"Do you like her?"

"I didn't say I do."

"That's why I'm asking. Do you?"

"Would it matter?"

"What is your goal Kurt?"

"I'm not your enemy Logan. You don't have to glare at me as though you wish to blow me up where I stand."

"You won't answer my question."

"I won't try to get in your way." Kurt shrugs.

"You won't- so you do like her too? We can't fight over our roommate Kurt."

"Who said anything about fighting? I just said I wouldn't get in your way."

"Kurt be realistic, you can't help yourself. You call her liebling and carry her bag for her and flirt like it's breathing- you're impossible not to like. The moment she catches on she'll obviously want you."

"You underestimate your own rugged charm. The grumpy but caring thing seems to work well for you. Especially with her, she clearly likes you despite your callousness."

"If it's between the two of us-"

"The choice is hers, if we insist on her making one." Kurt shrugs.

"What're we making?" You ask. How long were you standing there? How much did you hear? Why did neither of them notice you coming down the hall.

"Nothing." Logan says.

Oh Logan- this secrecy only hurts you. Why not tell her the truth?

"But Kurt said-"

"It's nothing." Logan says. "I'm going to bed. You should too." He grumbles going into his room and shutting the door behind him.

"What truth won't Logan tell me?" You ask Kurt.

"Do not ask me that liebling, you know I cannot lie to you but it would be a betrayal of Logan's trust to answer."

"I'm sorry Kurt- you're right. Have a goodnight, I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight Logan!" With that, you go back to your room with your unanswered questions.

A knock at your office door interrupts your conversation with Kurt and Logan while you all eat lunch. It's not often you're all here at the same time but when you do these little lunches in your office are a staple. In fact, even when they aren't both here if one of them is they'll find you around lunchtime and that's usually how you know it's time to eat.

"Come in!" You call not really wanting to get up from your desk.

"Hey Y/n."

"Oh Hey Storm."

"Am I interrupting?"

"Of course not! Boys, leave please so I can talk to Storm." You say.

"Discarded like yesterday's newpaper. How she wounds us." Logan says dramatically.

"Oh hush if I wanted to discard you I'd move." You roll your eyes.

"But you won't liebling, right?" Kurt asks.

"Move? If you two don't take the theatrics out of my office I just might."

"Logan!" Kurt looks at him.

"There there Kurt- she's only teasing. She wants to hurt us."

"I want to have privacy for a chat with Storm please." You say. "Logan I love that you're in such high spirits today let's use that energy well, go find a group of our kids and teach a lesson or something just scram, the both of you."

"You do not have to tell us twice." Kurt says.

"I've already told you more than once." You say. Logan and Kurt throw their hands up in surrender and leave your office finally, shutting the door behind them. "You would think they were mentees here not authority figures." You shake your head with a sigh.

"What's up with the boyfriends today?"

"Whay boyfriends?"

"Logan and Kurt. Why they being so dramatic?"

"Logan and Kurt are not my boyfriends."

"Logan and Kurt are absolutely your boyfriends."

"Okay where did you get that nutty theory?"

"Because whenever they're here they're always around you, and if they're not around you they're usually talking about you, they take turns bringing you lunch, and Kurt calls you liebling, and Logan sometimes sleeps in your room here and they;re always at your beck and call- and also- whatever that just was before they left you can't convince that wasn't the dramatics of a pair of boyfriends that like to annoy their girlfriend."

"Kurt, Logan, and I are friends. You know this Storm. We live together so our dynamic is- a bit unconventional I'll admit, but they aren't my boyfriends."

"So you live with them, they obsess over you, take turns doing literally anything you ask for you, and act like the world is ending if they don't have your attention. All that together sounds like a boyfriend to me so I guess the real question should by why aren't they your boyfriends?"

"Logan and Kurt are not interested in being my boyfriends." You roll your eyes.

"Did you ask them?"

"Why would I?"

"Because they act like your boyfriends?"

"Storm-"

"You didn't say you don't want them to be your boyfriends."

"That doesn't-"

"Do you want them to be your boyfriends?"

"I didn't say that!"

"But you didn't say no either."

"It's a nonissue! My answer to that is irrelevant because this is a hypothetical that would never come true."

"Those men are you boyfriends in every way except name. Just kiss them both and make it official."

"You are insane!"

"Maybe but I'm also right. They already treat you like you're their whole world. Sign seal and deliver that shit already put us all out of the misery of watching those two fools follow you around like abandoned lovesick puppies."

"Why abandoned?!"

"Because you don't seem to notice they worship the ground you walk on? And besides if you give them the titles we all know the following won't stop but at least they'll get to crack you like a glowstick every so often."

"Girl!"

"What? I'm sure they're great at it." She shrugs.

"You're impossible."

"Insane, impossible, but still correct. Button it up darling. Face facts they're in love with you. If you're not interested nip it already, but if you are interested- tell them- so everyone can stop pretending you guys aren't already functionally in a throuple." Storm says.

"Okay that's enough about that aspect of my personal life please." You huff.

"Fine, but I expect you to handle that situation quickly."

"Storm."

"Okay. All done." She throws her hands up.

"Thank you." You sigh. That seems to be the end of it with Storm, although you continue thinking about it for the rest of the day. It's in the back of your head for the next couple of days actually, so the next time you're all at home you decide you need to put this to bed, now.

"Hey guys, you got a minute?" You ask when you catch them in the living room together.

"Sure we're just watching tv." Kurt says. You take a seat on the coffee table, facing the two men.

"So, I had a conversation with Storm recently and she- kind of implied- well no not implied she said it pretty explicitly actually- Storm seems convinced that you two have feelings for me." You say.

"What?" Logan scoffs. Kurt's gaze is watchful, darting between you and Logan.

"In fact Storm made it sound like it's such an obvious thing that everyone but me knows you two are in love with me."

"And do you believe her?" Logan asks. The question comes out far more assured than Logan feels asking it.

"I- believe that she believes it. And that's... something. Not sure quite what yet but it's something." You say.

"So- is something wrong? Did Storm upset you?" Kurt frowns.

"Well- no I just wanna know if I'm missing some big neon sign above our heads that everyone else can see. Are th- are the two of you in love with me?" Your gaze snaps back and forth between the two men. They glance at each other and you're sure there's something unspoken being discussed.

"Of course we love you y/n." Logan says.

"Are you playing a semantics game with me? I know you love me I asked if you were in love with me. Different thing." You say. Kurt glances at Logan briefly.

"I am. I won't speak for Logan but Storm is correct in saying that I am in love with you." Kurt confessess with a shrug. Logan looks at him in something akin to shock.

"Logan? Now would be a good time to tell me Storm's crazy." You say.

"I can't." He shakes his head.

"Why not?"

"Because she's right. We're both in love with you." Logan says.

"And neither of you were going to say anything?"

"We didn't want to comlicate things what with the whole living together, plus asking you to pick between us seemed like a recipe for disaster." He explains.

"You'd have me choose between you?" You ask.

"No. That's why we never brought it up."

"Everyone seems to think you're both my boyfriends."

"What?" Kurt blinks.

"According to Storm we are functionally a throuple."

"What the fuck is a throuple?" Logan asks.

"Three plus couple equals throuple." You explain.

"Do we really behave like that?" Kurt frowns.

"Storm's 'evidence' to support the claim consists of you guys constantly being around me, us regularly eating lunch, and the fact that you take turns making sure I don't work too hard. So I guess it depends on how much of that feels romantic to you. But given that you guys do in fact have feelings for me, I guess it is."

"So what happens now?" Kurt asks.

"We're not making you choose between us." Logan says.

"I know, I know. But- we can't just go on like we didn't have this conversation." You say.

"So what do you suggest? Because I'm not willing to lose you, either of you over this." Logan says.

"Okay well don't make it sound like somebody's dying sheesh." You say.

"If- according to Storm we appear to the world as a throuple do we have to change anything outwardly? We could just- officially be a throuple. Right? That's an option." Kurt says.

"What would that even look like?" Logan frowns.

"I assume not very different from how we already act- except now we get to kiss." Kurt shrugs.

"Y/n?" Logan looks at you.

"Yes?"

"How do you feel about- being a throuple?" He asks.

"I can't think of enough cons to protest the idea so- I guess I like the idea if that's what you boys want." You say.

"You can think of cons?" Kurt frowns.

"Just that some people may react unsavorily to it but that's really more their problem than ours." You shrug. "So- Kurt, Logan, will you guys be my boyfriends?" You smile.

"I'd be honored." Kurt says.

"Will you  be our girlfriend?" Logan asks.

"Yes I will." You nod. Logan pulls you off the coffee table and onto his lap, kissing you. When he pulls away from the kiss Kurt turns your attention to him, kissing you too. You shift a bit in Logan's lap and his hands snap up to your hips as he groans. The sound makes you pull back from Kurt with an inquisitive look.

"You can't move like that babygirl I... only have so much self control." Logan says hoarsly.

"I don't need you to have self control ya know. Not with me anyway." You shrug.

"Don't say that- you'll get more than you bargained for."

"Or, I'll get exactly what I bargained for." You grind against Logan's crotch.

"You know princess, it would be easier to just say you want us to have our way with you." Kurt says kissing your neck.

"Would that get Logan to stop trying to be a gentleman for once?" You sigh melting against Kurt's touch.

"He would never deny you a direct request like that, he couldn't."

"Logan, would you quit being all rigid if I outright asked me to fuck me?" You pout at him, trailing a hand over his chest.

"Isn't it- a bit soon to be... ah thinking about that?"

"Are you telling me you haven't wanted to rail me for months? All that pining hasn't made you even a little pent up?" You ask.

"I certainly can't say that." Kurt says between kisses and nips at your throat.

"That's not what I'm saying at all I just- I respect you too much to skip ahead to-"

"Logan. I'm asking you to. Can you respect me enough to know what I want?"

"Of course."

"Well right now I want you and Kurt to, how'd you put it baby?" You turn to Kurt.

"Have our way with you." He smiles wolfishly.

"Sure, that." You drawl. "Come on Logan, have your way with me."

"We've been dating five minutes and you're trying to kill us already." Logan groans kissing you. You feel Kurt's tail wind around your waist, as he continues to litter your throat with kisses and hickeys. When you let out a moan, Logan slips his tongue between your parted lips. You don't realize it until you finally pull away from Logan to breathe, but Kurt at some point teleports the three of you to his bedroom. Kurt pulls your shirt over your head and both men react audibly.

"Son of a bitch." Logan groans.

"Christ almighty." Kurt sighs.

"It's a lot more fun to touch than just look ya know." You giggle sliding off of Logan's lap to sit between them.

"You are so beautiful liebling." Kurt says giving you a kiss.

"Thank you darling." You hum.

"You know princess, I've been absolutely dying to taste you." Logan says kissing along your throat, sucking hickeys to match the ones Kurt's already scattered across your skin.

"Have you now?" You moan.

"More than anything." Logan mutters.

"Well let's make that happen for him liebling." Kurt says grabbing your body. He shifts so you're sitting between his legs with yours spread out, near the edge of the bed so Logan can comfortably fit. "Oh shoot, we'll need to get rid of her shorts." Kurt tsks.

"That I can take care of." Logan smirks. He extends his claws and shreds your shorts and panties at the same time.

"Hey I liked those shorts." You frown.

"I'll buy you a replacement pair. Hell I'll buy you one in every color if you want princess." Logan says.

"You know Logan, you can't eat and talk." Kurt hums. He trails his hands up your sides to grasp your tits. "Weren't you just saying you're dying to taste her?"

Logan licks a slow stripe between your folds that causes you to let out a shuddering breath.

"Even better than I could've dreamed." He mutters before burying his face between your thighs. Logan laps eagerly at your center, loudly slurping as he practically devours you. Kurt wraps his tail around your center when you squrim.

"Hold still liebling, Logan's trying to enjoy your pretty pussy." Kurt says. You moan, grinding against Logan's mouth. His tongue is fierce against you and on top of that Kurt is teasing your nipples between firm fingers.

"Oh god." You sigh tipping your head back against Kurt's shoulder.

"No liebling, we're not god. Of course, we could always help you see him." Kurt says. Logan wraps his lips around your clit, making you jerk as you let out a yelp. It's intense and almost overwhelming, and with Kurt toying with your nipples too you can feel your orgasm approaching quickly.

"Fuck I'm close- Logan please don't stop." You whine.

"That's it pretty girl, let go for us." Kurt says. Your belly tightens and your release hits with a whimper.

"Damn you're absolutely gorgeous when you cum." Logan sighs.

"Now you guys are trying to kill me." You joke.

"Kurt you've gotta see it for yourself man." Logan says.

"I can't be the only one naked here." You say prompting Logan and Kurt to shuffle out of their clothes quickly. You push Kurt onto his back and straddle him, taking a moment to drag your hands across his chest. "God you two are hot." You sigh, letting your eyes roam over Logan's body.

"You're one to talk dollface." Logan winks at you. "Although I can't say I mind the ogling going on here."

"Well when you look as good as you do." You smirk. You raise yourself up and wrap your hand around Kurt's dick, carefully sliding yourself onto him with a moan. Kurt grunts as you settle over him.

"She feel good Kurt?" Logan asks.

"Very."

"It's written all over your face babes." Logan chuckles.

"Oh please if it was you in my position you wouldn't be laughing like that." Kurt rolls his eyes but there's a playful tone to his voice.

"I'm sure we can test that theory." Logan says.

"I can see an idea in your eyes." Kurt says.

"Well, I was just thinking, who says we have to wait to find out? What do you say princess? Think you could take us both at once?" Logan gently trails his fingers down your back.

"Oh-" the idea has breathless just considering it.

"You don't have to of course-"

"Don't bother. You wouldn't believe how tightly she just clenched around me at the idea." Kurt cuts Logan off before he can finish offering you an out.

"Did she now? Well I gotta hear her say it. Tell me princess, do you wanna be stuffed with two cocks at once?" Logan asks.

"Please." You whisper, shift on top of Kurt and the movement makes him groan.

"Lean foward for me then." Logan says softly, gently urging you towards Kurt. You can sense Logan's hand near you, but he doesn't start by touching you, his fingers first drag over the base of Kurt's dick.

"Hey! You're supposed to be prepping her for this, not me." Kurt jerks up, thrusting into you and making you moan.

"Who says I can't do both?" Logan muses. You can't see him but you can practically hear the smirk on his lips.

"Well if you want me to last long enough for you to shove your dick in with mine I suggest you focus those fingers on her, not me." Kurt grits out.

"Fine, fine." Logan cedes. He carefully slides a finger into your pussy, it's a tight fit but after a bit of thrusting he's able to squeeze a second and a third, by which point you're practically quivering with all the sensation. Logan stretches you on his fingers for several minutes before eventually pulling the digits from you. "I think that's enough prep. Now, I'm gonna need you to take a deep breath for me princess." Logan says as he lines himself up with your entrance. You breathe in shakily and then slowly, ever so slowly, Logan begins to push himself into your pussy. It's a lot, so much, almost too much, and you whimper with every inch Logan slide into you. Your eyes are squeezed shut and you're nails are digging into Kurt's shoulders by the time Logan's fully seated in you.

"Liebling? Open your eyes for me sweetheart." Kurt coos gently, stroking your face. It takes a moment but eventually you manage to pry your eyes open. "Are you alright?" He asks.

"S-s-s-sssoo f-ff-full." You whine.

"Too much?" Kurt asks, panting a bit himself. You imagine the feel of Logan rubbing up against him wasn't exactly pleasureless.

"N-no, j-j-j-just move, please." You choke out.

"We'll start slow." Logan promises as he starts to rock his hips. It takes them a moment to sort out a rhythm that works for them but soon they're both sliding in and out of you in sync, it's slow and each drag of their dicks feels like it's tearing you apart in the best possible ways as you're reduced to nothing but shaky moans, loud whines, and barely coherent pleading. Eventually, slow and gentle gradually grows in intensity until it's fast enough to have you screaming as your orgasm hits you with a force that completely blindsides you. The spasming of your walls around them has Logan and Kurt grunting and groaning as they chase their own releases and it doesn't take much longer for them to follow you over the edge. None of you move for several minutes, desperately trying to catch your breaths.

"How's that for having our way with you?" Logan eventually breaks the silence making you and Kurt giggle.

"Funny, earlier you said I was trying to kill you. That? That was attempted murder right there." You joke back.

"We should get you cleaned up." Kurt says kissing your forehead.

"No way. I can't move." You groan and both of them laugh.

"We've got you princess don't worry." Logan says.

"You were right about her face when she orgasms by the way Logan, absolutely gorgeous. But so is yours." Kurt winks.

"You don't look too bad either." Logan quips back. "Gonna pull out now baby, alright?" Logan warns you before carefully pulling out of you. You whine as he does, both from the sudden change and from the way you feel the combination of his, Kurt's, and your releases start to ooze out of you upon his exit.

"Fuck me." He groans.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asks him with a frown.

"Yeah, hang on, don't move." Logan quickly grabs something off the night stand but it's not until you hear the sound of a camera shutter that you deduce it's someone's phone. Probably Kurt's. "She's leaking cum like like a waterfall and fuck if it isn't making me wanna stuff her full all over again." He explains.

"We clean her up and let her get some rest first, then we can discuss that possibility." Kurt says. Logan and Kurt carefully lift you off of Kurt, and Logan carries you to the bathroom where both of them clean you up and then themselves. Once most of the evidence of your sexcapades is gone Logan carries you to your room where they sandwich you in bed, putting on a movie and holding you close as you snuggle between them. It's funny, you'd never really thought about it before but in hindsight, now that it's official, you kind of guess you've been their girlfriend for a lot longer than today. And honestly, you're perfectly fine with that.

***

[14dayswithyou]

Meowdy Saint! ^^ lolol hello hello o/ hope you are doing good!!

So this masterpiece of a game has been invading my mind with ZERO chill lately which directly translated to me coming up with a TON of questions orz I really didn't realize how many I ended up compiling lol

If you don't feel like answering this many please feel absolutely free to ignore this ask or only answer the ones you like the most, the last thing I want is for you to feel overwhelmed! ^^

ALRIGHT LET'S-A GO

-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™?

-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰

-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol

-does he know how to give massages? :00

-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao

-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀

-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name?

(I am not sure if this⬇️ questions falls under character deaths, if it does I really apologize and absolutely feel free to ignore it ^^)

-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl)

-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈

-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100%

Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao

ALRIGHT THATS ALL IM SO SORRY FOR ASKING SO MUCH THE REN BRAINROT HOURS ARE SO REAL IM LOSING BRAINCELLS orz Remember to take care of yourself drink water and take breaks!! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

(Also sorry if some phrases don't make sense, english isn't my first language as I am 🤌 lolol)

✦゜ANSWERED: Under da cut because this got long >:3

-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™? Ren's memories remain intact!! I mean... He remembers each time you get a bad end and sometimes says something different... >:3 There is also an in-universe reason as to why he has his abilities — I won't spoil anything, but his real name (along with River's and one other character) have a reeeeally big tell. But what this tell is is for me to know and you to find out >:3

-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰 Ren (and by extension [REDACTED]) knows not to harm anyone if he knows you won't like it — and even then — he won't actively show that murderous side of him in the first place. To Angel, Ren is just a timid, normal guy.

-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol Ren is actually good at cooking, he's just a bit out of touch since he doesn't normally cook for himself! It's normally microwave meals or takeout for him... ^^; And yes, Ren did burn and burn the pancakes in Day 3 — he was distracted by something on his phone :3

Bonus cut Day 3 content: I took out the scene where Ren started to profusely apologise for burning the pancake because he often had to cook when he was younger. Given the dynamic of his family and the environment he grew up in, Ren didn't have much room to make mistakes ;n; I cut this scene out because I felt bad ksgskd So y'all get to have flustered, happy Ren instead!!

-does he know how to give massages? :00 If that was one of Angel's interests or desires, then sure!! ^^

-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao Someone else likes flora too, and it sure would be funny if Ren (eventually) starts to mimic certain traits and interests of the person you have the highest affinity/relationship points with in order to make himself look more appealing… >:3c

-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀ It was mentioned in Jae's lore post (I'll link it here once I find it), but Maple is a Labrador! (Leon would be Jae's Australian Shepherd hehe) In my mind, Maple is only 2 or 3 years old, but that wouldn't really fit the official timeframe... ^^; Jae adopted Maple during high school so he wouldn't feel lonely at home, and it's been over 6+ years since then.... hgdshjg

-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name? Angel affectionately calls Ren a puppy during the scene in Day 1 where they meet up after work, so that nickname definitely could work!

-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl) aaa I think you might be mistaking that ask for something else? ;v; [REDACTED] would NEVER harm Angel in any capacity, and they're a very patient person. Even if it took decades for Angel to fall in love with him, they'll wait.

-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈 You're fine!! And I'm open to doing that! I'll add it to my list hehe

-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100% I've shared a spreadsheet that lists all the available choices, the points you earn from each of them, and the endings you can get — however it's only available on Discord and I don't really want to share it outside of the server and potentially put it in the hands of minors. Sorry!!

Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao Hehe >:3 There's a loooot of lore that won't ever be mentioned in the game (since it doesn't seem fitting/I don't see a reason to), so I'm happy to provide it here!

[greghatecrimes]

I like you and i don't think you're a bad person but I feel like you don't understand Thirteen as a character, you seem to idolize the hollow caricature of her you've created that allows you to insert yourself inside. I'm telling you, you don't need to look like Olivia Wilde to talk about your passions and interests!

You don't have to attribute these things to a fictional person, you can let go of the mask and just be truly you! I promise you will find a new appreciation for Thirteen, and more importantly yourself. I wish you all the peace and love in the world, and I hope my words help you find yourself. Take care 💖

Wow, this was so enlightening for me about my insecurities and the inner workings of my psyche! Even more than five years of therapy, EMDR, and an entire psychology degree!! Anon, I’m assuming you’re the same person that sent me the ask I answered this morning. I see now that I assumed wrongly when I answered that ask under the belief that it was just genuine curiosity. The huge irony here is that I’ve grown a lot over the past five years, and lately I’ve been reflecting on how I’m in a place now where I’m perfectly happy to be who I am, to love what I love, to be unapologetically me. As a follower of my sideblog on tumblr (not even my main blog!!!) you’re only seeing a tiny portion of who I really am as a person (because I KNOW you’re not someone that knows me in real life). Having said that, it certainly takes a HELL of a lot of audacity to come into MY inbox and tell me on anon that you think you know me and my insecurities and how I think about Thirteen better than I know all of those things about myself. 

This is actually HILARIOUS to me, because I WISH the things I “hide behind a character”, as you would say, were as simple as passions and interests. When I was talking about attributing emotions to fictional characters, I didn’t mean silly things like the fact that I like video games, or being a cat person, or even deeper things like being autistic/ADHD (which I 100% admit, when I headcanon the House characters as neurodivergent, that is me projecting because I wish we had more ND representation in media. And you know what? PROJECTION IS OKAY. this is TUMBLR. I reblog fucking pony versions of my favorite characters! I write crack headcanons! Bestie, I’m just trying to de-stress on this blog. 95% of the stuff I post here is not as serious as you’re trying to make it.) Here’s the short version of my REAL “insecurities that I project into a hollow caricature of Thirteen” for you: I grew up being abused. I wasn’t allowed to express any emotions. Ever. I wasn’t allowed to have any needs. Ever. Now I have post traumatic stress disorder and my life is a mess. My life kind of sucked for the first 21 years and guess what? It still kind of sucks right now! I write and think about Thirteen processing trauma she might have faced in her life because it’s cathartic to me as someone who is healing from their own trauma, and to help myself cope with living in an actively stressful/shitty environment. (And guess what? It's a clinically approved coping mechanism. I highly doubt my therapist of five years would let me invest so much time and effort and emotion into a hollow caricature of a person that leads me to lose sight of who I really am!)

This is fanfiction and tumblr headcanons, not a published writing gig. You clearly care too much about my characterization of Thirteen aligning with yours, and unfortunately for you, I don’t. I write what I write because I want to read it. If you want to write her a certain way, no one’s stopping you! Make your own tumblr posts! Write your own damn fanfics! I’m not the authority on Thirteen and I’ve never pretended to be. If you don’t like anything about my characterization of Thirteen, then fucking move on. I’ve put way too much time and effort into giving everyone in my life the benefit of the doubt and striving to be the bigger person, to be the nicest person. And you know what? I’ve spent my entire life being ashamed of what I think and doubting everything I feel. I’ve already got five years and counting of working to undo that damage. I’m not about to let an anon on tumblr make me feel the same shame and doubt about my thoughts and writing for one of my favorite characters.

[utapri-hana]

A ferocious heavenly fire that pierces the night

This is my raw translation! It may not be 100% accurate!

Please excuse my spelling and grammatical mistakes and enjoy the translation!

Summary:

The third spin-off drama from Mystic-in-training series featuring the demon god (Onigami) Ran and Tenko!

What appeared in Ran's dream as he slumbered was a memory of a distant day he once spent.

And it seems that Tenko was also having a similar dream.

This is just my own raw translation!

It may not be 100% accurate, but I hope you enjoy reading it~

✨Evet story✨

= Episode 1:

😈 Ranmaru kurosaki: ... Is it a full moon tonight? You can see the outline of the moon clearly. It's so quiet that it won't be surprising if real demons appear.

Ah. That's doesn't suit me.

🦊 Natsuki Shinomiya: Good evening. It's a nice moonlit night.

😈 Ranmaru: ‼️‼️ ..... What the hell, Natsuki?

You're on break too...?

🦊 Natsuki: hehe It's such a wonderful night, so I thought maybe I'd be able to meet a real youkai-san or demon-san. It's just a short walk.

😈: "Real."...huh...

If you're around, I'd love to see you.

It can be used as a reference in a play.

🦊: The beautiful moon is out, and now it looks like we'll be able to have a friendly conversation while watching the moon. I wish I had brought some dumplings with me.

Onigami. No dumplings, though, But before we resume shooting, how about we have a little meeting? The next scene is just the two of us, Maru-chan-senpai and I.

😈: Oh good.

In this spin-off, demons and tenko are the main focus of the story. We have to keep pace, including creating the atmosphere.

🦊: Thank you! After all, when Maru-chan-senpai is with us, he's as dependable as Oni-san (Mr demon).

😈: Like a demon... Is that a compliment? As usual, you're out of tune when I talk to you...Then, let's take the eaves over there.

= Episode 2:

*Ran's dream*

????: I heard they tricked people and ate them. At the usual mountain pass again. I am no sharp-ears but I can tell.

I thought we agreed that it would be the last time, 100 years ago.

If you don't take care of that decision, who will?... I'm not going to say any more.

Don't betray yourself again.

You, ....... You've been watching. You come back only at a time like this.

I wasn't being kind or anything so save your praise. If I didn't say what I said, it would just feel bad.

..........you want to talk? I don't mind, but aren't you awfully formal? And look at the hairpin. It's new. What the hell is going on?

!?????: ...............Ran. Please wake up.

*End of the dream*

😈: ‼️‼️.......Tenko......?

🦊: sorry. For some reason I felt you were uncomfortable sleeping. If you're tired, a futon is better than a tree. Would you like to use the room I rent?

😈: No, I just dozed off. It seems that one of the techniques he has been practicing for is about to be perfected. I promised Tokiharu that I would take a look at it if so.

🦊: I can't refuse that request. I understand why you were at the shrine so unusually. But ------ is that the only reason ?

=Episode 3:

☀️Otoharu: Wow, wait, Shonoshin! Don't show your technique yet!! Tokiharu and I are not ready!

🦊Shonoshin: Geez....... Your opponent won't wait in a real battle! I'll shoot you in 5 seconds! Let's go? 5. 4. 3. 2...

🦊 Tenko: Hmmm. Shonoshin and the boys are always so lively, aren't they?

😈Ran: they are carefree. Well, they've got that going for them, too.

...Lately, I've been seeing more and more of those little fishy demons around.

🦊 Tenko: Outside the barriers that stretched around the city, right? It's partly because it's weakened a bit, but Tokiharu-kun's magical power is probably the reason why it attracts the youkai.

😈Ran: Keeping up a city worth of barrier as it is for a long time, How can you be so cool ? I really don't want you to turn into an enemy.

Looking closely, you're not wearing your usual kimono. When did you change it?

For a long time, I thought you were wearing it.

🦊Tenko: because it's getting hotter. I was advised to wear a thin kimono. I just had something I used to wear.

I didn't think I'd ever wear sleeves like this again...

Wearing it for the first time in a while makes me feel taller.

😈Ran: Heh...That's a very human thing to say.

=Episode 4:

🦊Tenko: Good evening, Ran. From the first look it doesn't seem like you've got a new kimono. I've never seen it before, but was that what it was supposed to look like?

😈Ran: Well. People are scared of me when I'm dressed like this. I try to avoid them, especially in the human settlements , but this time I just want to get it over quickly.

🦊: I see... Last time the two of us were seated out, so we left it to Ren to deal with it. We have to do our best this time.

😈: But why are you following me around?

I didn't ask you to. It makes us stand out even more.

🦊: In dealing with this situation, I want to raise as few concerns as possible for the children. I just wanted to make sure you are the same.

😈: Surprising. I thought you were the one who wished the most for their growth as Mystics, Tenko.

🦊: If someone is so careless as to break off a budding branch in the middle of a bloom, that's a different story. For as much as possible I don't want to put my precious flowers in danger.

😈: You don't even show such a pretense while the sun is shining and humans are awake. They say the fox is not to be underestimated, but you're very auspicious.

🦊: That's what you say, but... I too have heard that demons are very scary. But I think it's very kind of you to accept my request.

😈: Kind....

We're wasting our time talking about it. Let's go before the moon sets.

=Episode 5:

🪻Shiraai: Hello, Onigami-sama (demon god). It's rare for you to be here at this hour. Otoharu and the others haven't come back from school yet.

😈Ran: No, I didn't come to see them today.

........But first, there's an extra one.

You think you're cleverly hiding, but your tail is showing.

🦝Kotobuki: Oh my God! What a terrible thing to say. Let's rejoice in a more touching reunion, Ran-chan☆

Aren't you happy to see me?

😈Ran: Of course not. I didn't come here to see you. Ah, that..... Shiraai.

If there is anything you can feel with your powers, anything bothersome, please tell me.

🪻: Clairvoyantly, you mean.

.......I knew it. I don't join our training a lot but I still notice it before Otoharu and the others do.

Yes, there is. Something that's been bothering me.I've been wondering if this is the work of demons or not, and I was thinking of consulting Tenko-sama soon.

🦝: Does that have something to do with the fact that the people around here are starting to have "nightmares"? The Yanaris told me so. (Yanari is a type of Yokai, very small demons and it tries to shake the house or stuff around the house and just make noise. They don't do more than that )

😈 (Tenko, you noticed and kept quiet.) (Inner thoughts)

🦝: It doesn't seem to be everyone in the whole town though. It's just a rumor among the demons who have no malicious intent. I don't know about outside the town.

🪻: If it goes that far, it's not surprising if Otoharu and the others received a request or two. But they didn't, so it's strange, isn't it?

=Episode 6:

*In a dream*

😈Ran from the past: You say you consulted me because I'm nice to you.......but I couldn't have imagined that you decided to marry a human man.

...........I understand. I respect your choice, no matter what anyone else says. Besides, no matter what I say, you've already made up your mind, right?

*End of the dream*

😈*Sleeping* .....

🦝: Ooh. Hey, hey, hey. He's gone silent. Could it be that the devil god himself is sleeping standing up? I'd like to capture it in a picture scroll.

😈: Shut up. I have my moments of pondering, too. Unlike you Tanuki.

🪻: We're talking about something important here, so don't make unnecessary trouble.

So, what are you going to do now that you still haven't told Otoharu and the others?

😈: That's fine. I will take care of this matter. ……Ah, me and Tenko will take care of it. Can you tell me, in case of any suspicious activity around this shrine?

🪻: Understood. Leave it to me.

🦝: Oh my gosh, it's rare for Ran-chan to be that much of a shoulder to lean on. I guess "old vows" are important after all.

😈: One-pot meals are best when the pot still hot. Shiraai, if you polish the donabe pot, you might be able to eat something delicious. No later than tonight. As early as the evening.

*Squeeze*

🦝: Ouch! You're hurting me, Ran-chan~! I'm so proud of my tail, don't be so rough with it~!

=Episode 7:

🦊Tenko: It seems that the yokai in question is trying to wear out people's spirits by giving them nightmares, while hiding in the presence of many small yokais.

Thanks to Ran listening to Shiraai-kun and the others, I'm glad we were able to reconcile.

😈Ran: ..........I'll leave it at that. Well, it seems that the target has not been decided yet. Tokiharu had a dream that he overslept this morning, so he woke up in a hurry.

🦊: Hehe. Both Otoharu-kun and Tokiharu-kun seem to be very scared of "lateness". Is that even a nightmare?

😈: What about you? What about your "nightmares"?

🦊: It was not a nightmare, but I might have had a dream that some people might consider a nightmare.

I can't say for sure, as I dream about it from time to time. However, when I meet the youkai that is the source of this phenomenon, I don't think I can help it.

😈: What, were you trying to say a joke? Even you sometimes tell jokes like that.

🦊: It's not nice to be forced to dream, whether you want to or not, is it? If the prankster go too far, I'll have to punish them.

😈: I agree with that. It is possible that they could become a yokai that takes the life of the people at will and eats their souls.

It doesn't suit my nature to mess around. Let's just cooperate this time and go beat up the culprit.

=Episode 8:

😈: We've come a long way, huh? If we have to go this far to get to the source, then we're dealing with a very careful opponent.

🦊: Even though they are cowards and knew we would question them if they were exposed, they decided to do it. It seems that they wanted to get their hands on the power of the demons really badly.

😈: .......... You're pretty angry after all. Is there something that can't be blocked by Tenko's Barrier?

🦊: Hehe Well, I'm not all-powerful either. Besides, it's enough if I can protect the people I want to protect.

*A barrier is spread*

🦊: Well. You are very good at hide-and-seek.

But eventually I caught you~

You have been manipulating people's dreams from such a place?

😈: You were caught off guard, thinking we didn't know you were here. I won't let you get away. Whatever gets within my barrier, can never escape out!

*After beating the culprit*

🦊: Let's stop here. The mountain should not collapse. I have to return to that town by morning.

😈: Yeah, I guess so. If the word gets out, maybe they'll be a little less likely to mess with us for a while.

🦊: Shall we let the human children think that if they do something wrong, the demon will come to punish them? I mean, It's thanks to the gentle demon god that we won't have nightmares tonight.

😈: Don't do it. No one will believe that story.

=Episode 9:

😈: Thanks to that bastard's running around, I had to use my extra strength. I couldn't go easy on a yokai of that level.

🦊: Hehe. The attack was a little too vigorous and loud. Perhaps Shonoshin and the others may have sensed it.

*A Moment of awkward silence*

😈: ....... Aside from the yokai, Tokiharu and the others don't seem to have woken up. We did well for a hasty preparation of work, no?

🦊: It seems so. Ran, I enjoyed working with you too. So, I'll see you soon.

😈: Back to the shrine? It's almost dawn. I have a room, and if you want to go with Tokiharu to school tomorrow, you can stay here.

🦊: It's a very tempting offer, but......not yet. My futon is at Otoharu-kun's shrine. If he gets suspicious, this whole night will be ruined.

😈: Is that so?........Thank you, Tenko. I might not have been able to catch that tail on my own. I'm glad you were there for me this time.

🦊: No. I did what I did because I had my own reasons. I should be the one thanking you... Good night.

😈 *Inner thoughts* (....Everyone has a thing or two that they want to keep to themselves, don't they? the kind of "past" that you even dream about.)

=Episode 10:

🪻Shiraai: Oh, Onigami-sama! You came again today. Otoharu and the others are training in the bamboo grove in the back. They are very excited to try new techniques.

🦝 Kotobuki: But more importantly, Ran-chan! For a brief moment in the middle of the night, I felt a very big power, was it the work of you two? Tenko-sama won't tell me!

😈: I won't tell you about anything that Tenko is not telling you about. You must have been going around all night gathering rumors again, right? Don't do anything unnecessary.

🦊: Now that you've come all this way, I think we should make some tea. Shiraai-kun, would you like to help me?

🪻: No, I'll do it, so Tenko-sama please sit down. Look, stop bothering Onigami-sama and if you don't want to be turned into a Tanuki hot pot, come with me.

🦊: I expected you to come. I'm still a little concerned about it. But from what I've been able to find out, it's not worth worrying about.

😈: It was the same as usual in the morning.

...... To think that I would be called demon god and that I would stand side by side with Tenko.. Thinking about it all over again, it's a strange coincidence.

🦊: If they live long enough, their strong wills will overlap and will intertwine with the fire of life. We will continue to watch over them under every circumstances.

📿 Tokiharu: We did it, Otoharu! The two of us managed to stop Shonoshin-san's fox fire! ....Huh..? It looks like something is burning... AH, THE PAPER DOLL!!

🦊: Oh my... I thought it wouldn't take long for them to grow up. But It looks like we have more time left than we thought.

😈: ...... Well, we can't stop the flow of time, and we can't stop it either. They should grow up on their own pace.

~END~

[myrskytuuli]

The promised military post.

Last weekend I spent three days doing a military introduction course for women hosted by the National Defence Training Association of Finland. The aim of the course was to give an overview of what military service is like in practice, for women who are on the fence whether to apply for military service or not. Since my biological clock is ticking, and I have a friend currently doing her military service, I got reccommended this course, which I galdly took in order to put to rest whether I should still quickly shoehorn myself to apply for the women’s voluntarily service or not, before I age out. 

(note that politically I still believe that mandatory service should be upheld for both sexes. Even after chosing not to serve my time, I do politically belive that someone should show up at my door and force me and every other woman in Finland to do some kind of crisis training service akin to what men have to do. but I digress.)

Great course. 100% reccomend MPK courses for anyone who is interested. Absolute kudos to everyone involved in creating and running it. Got exactly the experience I was looking for, and very amazing experiences and skills to go with it. They gave you a intense, full-packed, cut-through of the entire first three months (alokasaika) of the army experience. Obvioulsy in order to actually become somehow good at all of the things we went through, you would need the three months of repetition you get with actual service, but we compared notes with my friend and we did pretty much try everything you do during alokasaika.

Foot drills. making your bed. Taking care of your equipment. military rank and discpline. how to clean and oil your AR. Survival skills. Setting up a camp. how to handle a grenade. How to handle a shoulder-fired missile. How to use and set up military communication equipment. How to move with an AR. How to move in a formation. How to basically move as a soldier without fucking everything up. How to do basic emergency care on battle wounds. How to crawl to foxhole without killing yourself. How to spot an enemy from foliage. How to shield yourself from artillery. How to crawl without fucking over your AR. (How to create a parasocial relationship with your AR who is also your wife) how to shoot your AR without your shitty breathing technique getting in the way of your shot. etc. If that sounds like a lot- It’s because it was. we had a minute timetable and the only breaks were to eat and the couple minutes to drink water from time to time. The weather was abominable, so we were doing all of this while most of the time it was either raining sleet or hailing.

I really liked it. I love new experiences and this definitely was one. most of the skills were appliable to a life outside of military too. Outdoor survival, emergency care, how to use a compass, etc. not going to lie, learning how to use several different pretty gnarly weapons was cool too. Obviously I’m not good at any of them, but I have the knowhow in how to use an AR, grenade and an anti-tank missile. Not saying I would hit anything, but I know how to get all of them to work. And now I know intimately all the ways I’m very bad at shooting an automatic rifle. It’s hard you guys. (I don’t have the upper-body strenght)

Not a big fan of the army base life. Fuck foot drills, I understand why they exists, but fuck them. The same thing with all the army base decorum. as a teacher I genuinely do understand why you need to keep big masses on tight lines when moving from place A to B, but doing foot drills at 6 in the morning is just...well it just is. Doing foot drills 6 in the morning for a several months? Yeah, not sure if I have the headspace. Lot of things were annoying, and I would be lying if I said they weren’t a big reason for my decision to not apply. I can imagine that things that are kind of annoying now would become big fucking breaking points when you do them for a year. Like keeping count of all of your zippers being closed and your collar turned 24/7. But the real issue was that I simply do not have the physical stamina. If I wanted to keep up, I would have to not only keep up, but be better than the 18 year old men who I would be surrounded by and who would set the pace, and sister I was already struggling with the young girls. Yes, obviously, if I was very motivated I could spend the summer getting into shape before stepping into service next year, but I do not have the motivation to put mysefl through an extreme fitness glow up. And I’m still not sure if that would help at all with my knees, which were the real breaking point for me several times while crawling on the frozen ground.

So, I’ve given up the idea of doing a year of service. Maybe, if i was 7 years younger, I would have the fitness and the joints to do it. If I could travel back in time, I would probably tell myself who has just returned back from London to spend a year doing the service, because there are genuinely so many usefull skills you can pick up, but not now. I’m looking forwards to starting a new life in a new city with hopefully new academic ambitions and I don’t want to postpone those plans.

Anyway, super happy I went. Absolutely drained when I got out. (Three days non-stop physical activities, sleeping on frozen ground, doing those physical activities ankle-deep in snow, getting woken up for emergency drills when you sleep, you know, draining stuff) Had to really properly recover afterwards and caught a flu from being soaked most of the weekend, but you know, fun. I had fun. There is genuinely a part of me that is now very sad that I’m not doing the full service. the camradery of our group was amazing, and you do miss it. There were so many skills I would want to be actually good at. And you know. I wouldn’t want to be useless in a case of invasion. But for now, I have to be realistic and try to live my life and realise that I probably wouldn’t make it to the end of the service anyway, and even if I did, it would probably be like trade school where I would have been better off doing something else with the time anyway.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

FORTUNATELY THAT FUTURE IS NOT LIMITED TO THE STARTUP WORLD A LITTLE ADVANTAGE CAN EXPAND INTO A LOT

So if you made it impossible to get rich by creating wealth on their own startup they seem to come to life, because finally they're working the way people are meant to. They had, I think TV companies will increasingly face direct ones.1 From free 0. When you're mistaken, don't dwell on it; just act like nothing's wrong and maybe no one will care how comfortingly orthodox your technology choices were. See what you can extract from a frivolous question? Filter performance should still be climbing with data sets that small. It's impossibly unlikely that this is a lowly sort of thing it becomes national news. But there will be less and less important; by 1350 someone who wanted to learn about science could find better teachers than Aristotle in his own startup, despite the fact that I didn't really grasp I was going to take two weeks to write few projects took longer, I knew I could see at the time. Angels can take greater risks because they don't have to answer to anyone.2 It would work on a Python project than you could ever have made up.3 The customer is always right, that's a really bad sign.4 I don't think they are as blind to the threat facing them as IBM was.

The graphic design is as plain as possible, and since the reply came back through Virtumundo's mail servers it had the most incriminating headers imaginable.5 The kids obligingly grow up considering themselves as Xes must be enormous. The reason I've been writing about existing forms is that I happen to have it. And paying attention is more important than turning off the unsexy filter is to ask yourself whether in your previous job you ever found yourself saying Why doesn't someone make x? With server-based software forces programmers to. If you want to take longer, of course, competing investors.6 That's why they paid for those stock tip newsletters, and why companies pay now for Bloomberg terminals and Economist Intelligence Unit reports.7 Considering how basic a red circle is, it seemed inevitable that I would eventually have to move from filtering based on single words to an approach like this.

A lot of VCs still act as if they were sent back 50 years in a time machine.8 In fact consumers never really were paying for content, and publishers weren't really selling it either. I only had two hours before dinner and think fastest while writing. You'd think this lesson would be too obvious to mention, but I've had to learn it. What's good? Python is a more elegant alternative to Perl, but what new forms will appear.9 Most don't discover anything that remarkable, but some do. There can be places that are more thoughtful, just as newspapers that put their stories online still seem to be a good trick to look for waves; you are the wave.10

For most programmers this is very satisfying work.11 Sometimes this is done for ideological reasons. The processors in those machines weren't actually intended to be implemented. Another way to show that Lisp was neater than Turing machines was to write a program depends mostly on its length. Of these, 4 got through.12 Investors don't like to have too much money tied up in any one deal. Which means that any sufficiently promising startup will be offered money on terms they'd be crazy to refuse.

At YC we call these made-up or sitcom startup ideas. The other connection between startups and technology is the best source of rapid change. When I was in Africa last year and saw a lot of stories about a famous judge in eighteenth century Japan called Ooka Tadasuke. Always have some alternative plan for getting started if any given investor says no. The startup is the damage done by their own indecision. If there's one number every founder should always know, it's the company's growth rate. More likely they'll want you to hold out for 100.

Notes

If idea clashes became common enough, even the best ways to avoid collisions in.

If you don't see them much in the Valley has over New York, but we are only slightly richer for having these things. It may indeed be a good problem to have invented. The chief lit a cigarette. The late 1960s were famous for social upheaval.

But those too are acceptable or at least wouldn't be worth doing, because they actually do, because you could turn you into a fancy restaurant in San Francisco wearing a jeans and t-shirt, they're probably a bad idea has been in the services, companies building lightweight clients have usually tried to combine the hardware with an associate if you don't know whether you're a loser they usually decide in way less than 500, because the ordering system, the transistor it is to be employees is to say how justified this worry is.

To be safe either a don't use Oracle. Maybe that isn't really working bad unit economics, typically and then being unable to raise five million dollars out of the company, you could get a definite commitment. This sentence originally read GMail is painfully slow. I agree.

It's a bit dishonest, incidentally, that suits took over during a critical period.

We invest small amounts of our own, like speculators, that is exactly the opposite: when we were working on Viaweb. You can have escaped alive, or boards, or Seattle, consider moving. However bad your classes, you won't be demoralized if they miss just a few people have told us that we should make what they do on the critical path to med school. If the startup isn't getting market price if they were just ordinary guys.

If anyone remembers such an idea that people get serious about tax avoidance. You leave it to the hour Google was founded, wouldn't offer to invest more. I suspect Digg's is the other students, heirs, rather than admitting he preferred to call the years after Lisp 1. The reason you don't see them much in the business, Bob wrote, for many Americans the decisive change in the usual way of doing that even this can give an inaccurate picture.

I don't know whether this happens because they're innumerate, or because they assume readers ignore something they get for free. There may even be worth about 125 to 150 drachmae. The answer is simple: pay them to private schools that in the cover story of Business Week article mentioning del.

Companies didn't start to be higher, as I know of this type is sometimes called an HR acquisition.

Apparently someone believed you have to be an inverse correlation between launch magnitude and success. No one in a difficult class lest they get more votes, as I do in proper essays. Once the playing field is leveler politically, we'll see economic inequality.

Determination is the most successful ones tend not to. And it would be very hard and doesn't get paid to work like they worked. This is an understatement. Trevor Blackwell presents the following scenario.

8,000. But while this sort of Gresham's Law of conversations.

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, John Bautista, and Mike Moritz for sparking my interest in this topic.

[ffsg0jo]

- jjk characters when you're fasting for ramadan -

various × reader (megumi,, itadori,, nobara,, inumaki,, yuta,, maki)

WARNINGS: none -- masterlist

a/n: i know I'm incredibly late and that these are kind of short, but i hope you all enjoy it anyways !! feel free to leave a comment and reblogs are always appreciated :))

part 1 - part 2

MEGUMI ::

he vaguely knows about ramadan and why people fast so when ramadan begins he’s aware of it 

he didnt really think to look much deeper into it, mainly because it didnt affect him or anyone he knew, but when you came into the picture that changed

when he found out that you would be fasting he wanted to make sure that he was doing what he could to make things easier for you and create a more comfortable environment

in his spare time he researched deeper into ramadan and properly looked into it. at first it was for you, but then he just became interested in it

megumi would 100% try and wake you up for suhoor if he sees your struggling to get up, and if you're not a morning person he'd quickly prepare something small for you

he reminds you of the last 10 days as well and helps you make the most of the nights and is really supportive

ITADORI ::

itadori poor child bless him

he's definitely the 'not even water?' person. he just doesn't understand why you'd do that to yourself and why you'd starve for a whole day

of course, after you sit down and explain it to him he gets it and is tries his best to make it as easy for you as he can

itadori just stops eating in front of you. he feels so bad because whenever he sees someone eating when he's hungry, it makes him hungrier

so he tries not to do the same to you. you've probably reassured him a million times, telling him that it's okay, but he just can't

sometimes he'd catch himself slipping and profusely apologise to you. no matter how many times you tell him 'it's okay' and that you really don't mind, he still does it

he just wants to be as respectful as he can towards you

itadori has all alarms on his phone for all 5 prayers so that he can help you and remind you to pray

you'd be praying and he'd just sit next to you like a child, playing with his fingers and trying to reflect. like with everything else, he really doesn't have to, but itadori would genuinely do anything for you

tried fasting for the first 3 days, but secretly drank water in the bathroom. when you caught him, you burst out laughing and forced him to eat some food - you could hear his stomach rumbling from a mile away

NOBARA ::

she's just like itadori, but an almost tamer version of him

nobara directly just asks you why you aren't eating, doesn't beat around the bush at all.

she's a very caring person, almost aggressive, so you lowkey get a little scared of the face she's making and her tone. when you tell her she's like 'ohhh' and just nods her head and understands

the next day, she'd come up to you and offer you some food, and you'd remind her that you're fasting. she looks you dead in the eyes, completely serious and says 'i won't tell God, i promise'

the way you cackle has nobara worried, thinking the lack of food and water is making you delusional, and when you realise she's being legit you stop and stare at her

long story short she's lowkey embarrassed and tries to forget about your whole exchange

but when she hears you telling megumi what she said her face immediately becomes red and she relives her embarrassment. yuuji comes up to her and just pats her back, telling her he said the same thing

she's always making sure you're eating well when it's iftar though, buying you your favourite snacks and comfort food. she ends up eating most of it, but it's the thought that counts lmaoo

INUMAKI ::

he's a little bit evil, just a little bit

he'd be such a tease and eat in front of you on purpose. he knows you don't mind people eating in front of you, so he takes advantage of it and does the most

seeing the look in your eyes as you watch him slowly place food in his mouth fills him with some twisted sort of glee

it backfires when you ask him if you can watch him eat (in a not creepy way) because it makes you feel less hungrier and better

there's no fun in that anymore for inumaki

but despite that he does make sure that you're not overworking yourself or tiring yourself out

he defo takes a lot of naps with you too and uses your tiredness as an excuse lmao

at iftar time you already know inumaki is doing the most in terms of food. he'd get you your typical dates, and then buy/ help make all your favourite foods and snacks

you can barely eat half of it, but it's okay !! he probably organises a group iftar meal with everyone (that gojo funds) so you don't feel lonely when eating too

YUUTA ::

respectful king

he was so confused and concerned with why you were 'starving' yourself

but when you explained to him why you were fasting and the whole spiritual aspect of it, as well as the fact that food isn't the only thing you're giving up, he totally understood

he tries to make it easier for you by always making sure you're comfortable and seated down so you don't get tired

hed shade you from the sun as well with his body, so you don't get too hot or thirsty too

yuuta would defo sit with you when you break your fast and even make food for you to break your fast with. he can't cook that well, but he tries his best

another one that tries to wake you up for suhoor and eat with you as well. he sees you eating alone and it makes him a little sad so he goes the extra mile to sit with you

even though you've told him he doesn't have to a million times, and despite the fact that he's barely awake and his hair is messy and all over the place

MAKI ::

maki is so respectful and caters to every single one of your needs and makes sure you’re okay during training and missions as well

she really wants to properly understand what it’s like to fast, so maki 100% fasts every other day with you and tries to do as many as she can, just to support you and understand you and your religion more

even though she has to break her ‘fast’ sometimes because it’s hard for her, since she’s not used to it, you’re extremely grateful and feel blessed to have someone like maki

maki defo gains a newfound respect for you for staying so strong, because she could definitely not be doing that for 17 hours

she'd look up healthy recipes for you to eat during suhoor so that you don't upset your stomach and so you have enough energy to last the day

when you're losing track of time, maki would remind you when it's iftar and if you ever have to break your fast on a mission, she has snacks ready, with a water bottle and dates too

the best person to have during ramadan, hands down

© ffsg0jo 2022 — do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.

[downins]

Squid Game Characters during online class [ headcanons ]

Characters included: Seong Gi Hun, Kang Sae Byeok, Jang Deok Su, Han Mi Nyeo, Ali Abdul, Hwang Jun Ho, Ji Yeong & Cho Sang Woo 

-Seong Gi Hun-

◦Gi Hun’s grades are average, but he is a good student who joins classes. 

◦He is the helpful student, just text him and he’ll try his best to lend a hand. He won’t give you all the answers right away but he will explain to you how to solve the problem. 

◦He always joins class early, greets and thanks the teachers in every class. Constantly answering the teacher’s questions. 

◦He’s the one who created the groupchat to discuss about school and he reminds all of you to join class. 

◦When you’re absent, he will text you after class and send you all of the homework that needs to be done. 

◦He will videocall you to teach you how to do them and explain to you about today’s topic. 

◦He gives you motivation to join classes or do assignments, and after that he will say things like “I’m proud of you :D” 

-Kang Sae Byeok- 

◦Sae Byeok is the quiet student, the cold one that no one dares to mess with. But you being her significant other, she rings your phone to wake your lazy ass up. 

◦You don’t know how she does it but she somehow gets good grades in class even though she doesn’t engage that much in class. Eh she’s Sae Byeok she can do anything perfectly. 

◦She doesn’t really talk to the teachers that much, the only time you ever see her talking to teachers is when they ask her questions. 

◦Joins class early, submits assignments before the deadline, the perfect student but also the fierce and scary one. 

◦When she doesn’t join classes, she’s either chilling with her brother or just doing some of her stuff. 

◦She only allows you and Ji Yeong to ask her about homeworks, she does help Gi Hun sometimes but others.. not really. 

◦When you’re absent, she’ll definitely leave the class because she wants to check up on you and just spend time with you. 

◦But yes, you care about your education so she’ll ask Ji Yeong or Gi Hun for help. And after that the two of you will try to study together. 

-Jang Deok Su-

◦Barely gives a single fuck about class, but because you always try to persuade him to do so, he will do it for you. 

◦He join class after 30 minutes and just stays quiet for the whole time. He doesn’t care about the teachers a lot. 

◦Your attendance rate is literally 100% because you help him take notes and write down the assignments. And after that you will try to teach him everything you learnt. 

◦He feels bad because he feels like he’s using you to pass school, but you just explained to him how you don’t want him to drop out and graduate together. 

◦He tells you to take breaks and pamper yourself, make sure you’re not sacrificing your mental health for the sake of helping him pass every class. 

◦He spams the groupchat that Gi Hun created with memes and stupid stickers, random stupid videos. You do find it entertaining but at the same time you feel bad for others who are in the groupchat. 

-Han Mi Nyeo-

◦First of all, she joins classes but sometimes she forgets to turn off her camera and yall would catch her eating or just laughing at random stuff. 

◦50% focusing in class, 50% eating or playing games. Yes that’s our beloved Mi Nyeo. 

◦She texts you during class and just say that she’s bored and lonely. She just wants to go to your house and cuddle you. 

◦She only pays attention during her favourite class, and the other boring ones, she’ll either just skip them or join the class and mind her own business. 

◦Her grades aren’t really good, but not that bad but also not average. I mean she loves certain subjects and she will definitely get an A on her favourite subjects. 

◦When she doesn’t attend any class, you’ll help her take down small notes and surprisingly she understands them really quick and she promised to buy you meals after the lockdown is over. 

◦She just comes to you when she doesn’t know how to do any assignment. She only does her assignments at the eleventh hour. 

-Ali Abdul-

◦ALI ABDUL SUPREMACY <3333333

◦He’s the same as Gi Hun, he attends class early, is polite to the teachers and classmates. He’s a really sweet student. Everyone loves him. 

◦When he greets the teacher in the meeting, he will add emojis. He loves helping the teachers when they’re having technical difficulties. And he’s very very patient with everyone. 

◦Is really focused on maintaining his good grades, if you don’t understand anything, you can always count on Ali for help. 

◦He will slowly explain to you about everything one by one and makes sure that you’re crystal clear about it. Don’t worry, he can repeat himself over and over again for you because he loves you that much. 

◦Sleeps early so that he will have enough energy to attend classes the next day. Texts you good night and good morning everyday. 

◦Ali would definitely check if you’re in class or not, when he notices that you’re absent, he will send a message to you and study with you after class. 

◦If you’re not feeling well, he will help you do your assignments and hand them in. He will inform the teacher about your condition and after that he will tell you to just rest. 

◦In the groupchat, he sends really sweet messages to everyone and tells them to have a great day. Deok Su tried making fun of him for this once, and things didn’t really turn out well for him after that. 

-Hwang Jun Ho-

◦Jun Ho is like Ali too, but he isn’t very nice to everyone. He doesn’t really like Deok Su and Mi Nyeo because you know how they can be like sometimes. 

◦Yes, you can depend on him to help you with school. But will he give you a whole ass lecture if you’re not taking school seriously? Yes, yes he will. 

◦He does love talking to you but just odn’t distract him during class, he wants to succeed in school and he also wants you to pass with flying colours. 

◦He communicates with the teachers 85% percent of the time. He will ask questions about stuff he doesn’t understand. 

◦If you’re sick, he will videocall you while joining class to check on your condition. He wants to make sure that you’re not in a critical situation and also focus in class. Yeah he can do two things at once because he’s Hwang Jun Ho. 

◦He pays attention to you and his school priorities, he manages to settle a lot of stuff at once. 

-Ji Yeong-

◦Ji Yeong is a pretty good student too, she looks like she doesn’t care about school but she actually does. 

◦She wants to excel in school because she actually wants to live a good life with you in the future.

◦When all of you needs to turn on your cameras in class, you will catch her staring at you but sometimes its the other way around. She’s madly in love with you. 

◦The two of you do a lot of stuff together, she spends most of her time doing art projects with you, studying together, doing homework together. But 90% of the time is her saying how pretty/handsome you are and admiring you while you’re doing your stuff. 

◦She does socialise with the other students, but mostly with you and Sae Byeok. She loves the both of you so much and Sae Byeok likes spending time with the both of you. 

◦When you’re sick, she’s like Jun Ho, she will videocall you while joining her classes. She wants to make sure she won’t fall behind but also wants to make sure you’re doing fine. 

◦She insists on helping you do your homework, she wants you to just rest and take a break from school. 

◦When there’s a group project, she definitely wants to partner up with you. Actually she wants to see you more even though it’s through the screen. 

-Cho Sang Woo-

◦Sang Woo is also an intelligent student, he manages to handle a lot of stuff. So online classes aren’t really a huge problem for him. I think that he deals with technology pretty easily. 

◦He’s good at maths and after every maths class, he’ll text you to make sure that you’re able to understand the formulas and the methods. 

◦His notes are somehow really neat and understandable so you always ask him for advice on how to arrange yours.

◦He’s polite to everyone. But when it comes to Deok Su and Mi Nyeo, he barely talks to them. He only texts them when they need answers. 

◦If you’re sick, just inform him and he will pay extra attention in class. He desn’t want you to stare at your device for a long period of time so he just sends you notes and important parts of the topic. 

◦He won’t do your assignments for you but if you do have any problem understanding the questions, he will teach you. 

◦Sang Woo loves you so that’s why he makes sure that you’re not procrastinating any homework. He wants you to do well in school. <3

[urfictional]

the things you lose and those you gain; part i

I'Il be honest, I'm actually quite scared posting this. don't know why. this is my first time writing about naruto, I started watching the anime recently and I have only watched the first 100 episodes of season 1. I'm maybe not really into the lore and don't know all the details and shit but I had this thing in my mind and I really wanted to write it. hope you'll understand if there are some mistakes or smth.

this is only a small part of something that might turn into smth bigger. idk, if you guys will like it then I'll possibly continue with what I have planned.

It's planned to be orochimaru x f!reader fic. I don't want to make it really long n shit. probably three chapters max. (of course, only if you'll be interested)

warnings: idk, not much for this, mentions of blood. (this is set during season 1 episode 79, I think) kakashi x reader if you really squint (I didn't even plan it that way but you can interpret it whatever you like)

part ii

The day when you lost something dear to you was the day when the prospect of gaining something else, maybe even better, became possible.

As a ninja who comes from the Land of Sound, you are used to not having a perfect life. For some reason, you always hated your home. Maybe because it wasn’t like other villages where everyone thrived and lived happily. Yes, you were jealous. Who wouldn’t be?

Maybe this was the exact reason why you were so easily convinced to join Lord Orochimaru when he promised you a better life. To this day, you’re not quite sure if this is the better life he promised, but you soon realized anything would be better than the place where you grow up.

It wasn’t hard for you to prove yourself. After all, you were skilled, most probably the most skilled ninja from your small group in the academy. Come to think of it, it wasn’t really an academy or even a school. You had your teachers, older ninjas who already had plenty of life experiences. You were trained to take part in those helpless wars you knew the Land of Sound will never win. So, when Lord Orochimaru offered an escape for everyone you didn’t even think twice before accepting the offer.

When he announced the plan of taking the Hidden Leaf village, you didn’t think much of it. You have always hated the way how peacefully they lived, without worrying about whether they’ll live to see another day or not. Orochimaru knew you and your desire of creating sufferings for other villages. That was the main reason he kept you so close. And that was the main reason he chose you to infiltrate the Leaf village.

You truly believed that this will be the day when Orochimaru will succeed. The victory felt so close you could particularly taste it on your tongue. Everything was perfect, you had the element of surprise, you had allies, you had everything.

Then why did you fail?

In that brief moment after the Third Hokage sacrificed himself to stop Orochimaru, you knew you won’t be able to escape that easily. So, you did the only thing you knew. You performed the Jutsu you were thought to perform only if the situation is dire, and there is no other way. At that moment you didn’t think of the consequences you were told will happen when you do it. At that moment you didn’t think of anything.

You could see shinobi approaching you from every direction where you were standing on the roof. When you turned around, you could still see Orochimaru's body being held by other Sound ninjas, waiting for the right opportunity to escape.

You turned back around to face the front. There, right at the front stood the famous Copy ninja you succeeded to fool. You still couldn’t believe that you managed to pull it off, but then again, has there been anyone who was able to resist you? You saw the betrayal in his eyes and for a moment you thought you’ll feel bad when facing him. But to your relief, you felt nothing.

The Third Hokage made his sacrifice to save the Leaf village. Now it was your time to make your sacrifice to save Lord Orochimaru.

Your hands moved on their own when they created the signs that felt so familiar. It’s been so long since you were taught this. But your hands never forget the right movements. You bit your thumb drawing blood. Tilting your head back you drew a long stripe starting from your lower lip, across your chin, and down your throat. Then you summoned the Voices.

A Thousand Voice Jutsu was something that was considered forbidden. At least that’s what you were told. But the shinobi who taught it to you and four other genin claimed that it’s a blessing being taught this. Only the strongest from the Land of Sound can master it believing that you will be smart and know the right moment when to use it. You were forbidden to talk about it with other genin, your family and friends. Even when you trained you never finished the Jutsu till the end, you were told that it’s something you’ll be able to do once. Therefore, the moment had to be the right one.

The second you felt the Chakra in your body moving, you knew you have succeeded.

You felt the voices of your ancestors, your dead comrades, and friends, moving through the path you have marked with your blood. A Thousand Voice Jutsu means exactly that. With this Jutsu you summon the sound ninjas who have lost their lives through times, you summon them and create the path through you for them to be free to complete one final mission.

You felt their spirits, in your arms and legs. You heard their whispers in your ears, you heard their restlessness. They wanted to be free, and you let them. You let them be free.

You tilted your body forward and then… you screamed.

It wasn't just your scream, though; it was a scream of a thousand voices overlapping one another. Creating a surge of air and sound that prompted your opponents to clasp their hands over their ears, trying to obliterate the sound in some way. But only you knew it won't be enough. Nothing, you were assured, could prevent the sound from reaching their ears.

For those who had to bear the hazardous Jutsu on their own skin, it felt like hours, but for you, it was less than a minute. The voice faded away as quickly as it had come, but the echo lingered over the rooftops and trees until the wind carried it away. Later, you heard tales of a day when a deafening scream echoed over the countryside, past the villages to the other side of the land. But you never truly believed the rumors.

Your knees were trembling, and your entire body was shivering like a leaf in a strong wind. Your throat ached so bad; you couldn’t utter a word. Before you, the shinobi were still hunched on the ground with their hands clamped over their ears. You could see little streaks of blood flowing down from their ears. If your memory serves you correctly, they can still hear the scream after it has stopped, echoing in their heads. Filling every crevice in their brains leaving them disoriented and confused. That's why you figured this would be the ideal diversion.

You attempted to turn around and leave while you still can but were unable to do so. Your breathing became more rapid, and the aching in your throat became more intense by the second. A pair of strong arms caught you just as you thought you were going to collapse. Just before you passed out you caught a glimpse of silver hair in your line of vision. Kabuto.

“That was one mighty scream. Good job.”

.

.

.

.

When thinking about regrets, you didn’t think that there was something in your life you regretted. Well except for being born in the Land of Sound, but that’s something you couldn’t change no matter how hard you tried. You were dwelling on regrets you could have avoided. For example, joining Lord Orochimaru or consenting to learn the Thousand Voice Jutsu.

Now, you didn’t regret joining the Sannin, in fact, you would do it over and over again. But did you regret agreeing to learn the forbidden Jutsu? Maybe. Since the day your sensei told you have successfully mastered the Jutsu, it didn’t sit well with you. Some part of you wanted to forget the things that were thought to you, but it was impossible. You can't forget a Jutsu like that after it's been driven into your head. It was imprinted in every nook and cranny of your mind, so you wouldn't forget it.

After you were told the consequences of what will happen when you perform this Jutsu you swore you’ll never use it. No matter how dire the situation will be, you’ll think of something else.

But when you were standing on the rooftop, when your eyes fell on your master who looked so defeated, your mind worked on its own. It was like you weren’t in control, you wanted to do everything in your power to help Lord Orochimaru escape.

Yes, a small part of you may have regretted your actions. The other part, on the other hand, reminded you that it was necessary. That you'd go to any length for him. Even if it means losing the most valuable possession you have.

Your voice.

a/n: let me know what you think

[lunaekalenda]

"𝔰𝔩𝔢𝔢𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔢" 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔬𝔫 𝔞𝔬𝔱 𝔟𝔬𝔶𝔰! - 𝔠𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔟 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 @levisgirll

Hello everyone!! This is a special collab post brought to you by ‘cookiefics’ and ‘levisgirll’ and we decided to work together and write up a post which is y/n pranking their aot boyfriends!

Check out cookiefics for Eren and Reiner -  you’re here :D

Check out ‘levisgirll’ for Levi and Jean. - find it here :D

Synopsis: Y/N decided to prank the boys in attack on titan by saying they don’t want to ‘sleep with them tonight’. Some will get annoyed, sad, might tease you back or try to get your attention! And to make it up, Y/N ends the prank by saying the 3 words they long wanted to hear! So pick or check out which character you like the most and enjoy <3 We promise this will be good, it is filled with love, fluff, entertainment and a little bit angst.

a/n:  hi! cookie here lol. just wanted to say that working with mina was such a good and fun experience! i absolutely enjoyed every minute of it! :D i’m really happy about how it ended and i really hope you all enjoy this as much as we enjoyed creating it together! also, remember to check Mina’s works on @levisgirll to find more quality - specially for levi- content, you won’t regret it, she’s SUPER talented !! ;) please support her on her works !

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eren x reader, reiner x reader

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eren:

Eren didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth so smoothly as it did.

“Today I prefer to sleep alone.” he raised a brow, a silent ask in his eyes while he took off his shirt, getting ready for bed. He looks at you once again, seeing how you’re not in bed, just sitting there, looking at him.

“Are you serious?” he asks. You nod quietly. You can see how his lip pouts a little, his nose being extremely cute while he does it.

You want to laugh so bad, his confused green eyes looking quietly around, as if he was searching a camera or something.

“Where am I supposed to sleep then, honey?” he asks, without even asking again if he has to sleep far from you.

“I don’t know… On the sofa?” you ask. He sighs. He looks once more to you, making sure you want that.

“‘M going then, good night, honey.” he says, the pout still on his mouth.

“Night, Eren.”

That definitely made him turn around and face you. 

“Okay. No good, just night, followed by Eren as if i did something. What did I do this time?” he asks. His precious eyes are still on yours, and you shake your head.

“You did nothing.” you say. His brain starts to work at 100% capacity. Maybe the problem is that he didn’t make anything.

He looked quick to the clock. It isn’t your birthday, your anniversary or any other special date.

He kissed you this morning before and after leaving home. He called you during your work rest. He cooked dinner and spent some time with you on the couch.

What the hell are you saying then? You want to sleep alone for what reason?

He doesn’t want to pressure you, though. He knows maybe you have your reasons to avoid him today and he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

He takes then his pillow and walks towards the couch, taking a blanket on his way. He murmurs to himself and you can hear him, trying to cover your laugh.

Minutes later, you walk silently to the couch. Eren is almost ready for his sleep, his hair tangled on a low bun and his pillow on the couch.

“Honey, what are you doing here?” he asks. You laugh quietly.

“It was a joke.” Eren’s green eyes are now open with surprise, before a brow raises quietly.

“Oh, so it was a joke.” he says, getting up slowly. “How funny.”

He was supposed to laugh, but he looks at you instead, with a serious expression. “Search where to hide cause I’m not going to be merciful with you.”

You run towards your bedroom, laughing, and you can hear his steps behind you. You jump into your shared bed, seeing how he closes the door behind him.

You move until your back is against the headboard. You keep laughing.

“Eren!” you say, and he takes off his bun. Then, casually, he takes the hair tie between his teeth, a smirk starting to appear on his lips.

He crawls to the bed, his arms all tensed, the muscles on his back marked by the strength he’s using to lift his body.

He gets closer to you, the hair tie still between his lips. This isn’t funny anymore. You want that damn hair tie to disappear from his mouth. You want to be the thing Eren is casually kissing.

He sits in front of you, his eyes never leaving yours.

With patience, he ties his hair in a bun, your eyes following his fingers, how they pass the hair between the hair tie parts. His eyes are still locked on yours. Once he’s finished, he gets closer.

“That joke of yours annoyed me. Now, deal with it, hm?” he whispers.

That was almost a direct attack. You feel your legs weak against his husky voice. He smirks, getting closer to you.

Closed door, hair in a tight bun, no shirt and just a little lamp as a source of light made you think of how the night will end, making you smile for yourself while he keeps being closer. Your lips are almost on his, but he takes his head away, smiling.

“If you think I tied up my hair and closed the door to do disrespectful things with you, you’re so wrong, honey” he says. You’re totally shocked and Eren laughs.

“What was that, Jaeger?” you ask, surprised because of the change of his mood. He enters the bed between laughs.

“Revenge, honey.”

You pout while he gets comfortable on the bed.

“Now you should kiss me.” you say. You’re angry at him now. Is he leaving you like that? Like the mess he made out of you?

“I want to sleep. Good night, y/n”

reiner:

“Reiner…” You call him. He looks at you, his sweet smile only directed at you. That makes your heart flutter, and also makes you feel kinda cruel.

“Yes, my love?”

“Today I want to sleep alone.” All the joy and calm in his eyes starts to disappear, his head getting full of thoughts.

“Why?” he asks simply. “Please, my love, don’t sleep away from me…” His head got invaded.

Why? Did I mess it up? Does they want to leave me? Did I fail again?

You can see how the prank started to make his head overthink, so you approach him quickly.

Your hands take his t-shirt, pulling him to you. He has a sad expression.

“Sorry, Rein. It was just a TikTok prank and I didn’t know it would affect you so much. I’m so sorry.” You were almost in tears. Reiner sighs.

“Please, don’t do that again.” he asks softly. “I got scared. I thought I made something wrong.” he says. That breaks your heart a little more. You start to cry against his shirt. “Hey, love. Don’t cry. It was just a joke.” he says.

He turns around and takes your face in his hands. You feel how he wipes out some tears, smiling a little for you. “But please, never scare me like that.”

“I’m sorry.” you say again. He takes your face closer and kisses your forehead sweetly.

“But you do still love me, right?” That question makes you shed a couple tears.

“I love you, Rein. I do, please don’t forget it.”

He smiles a little more. “I also love you a lot.” he says. He takes his lips again to your face, this time, your nose. “But you really scared me.”

“I’ll never do it again.” you say. He looks at you.

“Then.. Can I sleep here?” he asks. You both laugh a little.

Once you two are accommodated, with you between Reiner’s arms, feeling his soft breath on your hair and his legs tangled with yours, you feel safe.

“Rein.” you whisper. He hums. “If I ever hurt you, please tell me. Even if it is just a little thing.” He takes you closer. “I don’t want to hurt you.” you say. Your lips leave a kiss on his chest, near to where his heart is beating. You feel his hands hugging your body stronger.

“Okay. But the same goes for you. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re the most precious person I have.” he says. His hands go up and down your spine.

“You’re also the most important person to me. I really love you. I fell in love with you and I wouldn’t doubt doing it again.” you say. You feel how his mouth moves against your head. “Rein?”

Afraid of finding him crying, you look at him. The moonlight that enters is enough to see your boyfriend’s smile.

“That’s… That’s so sweet. You make me so happy…” his  eyes are now shining. You are grateful for seeing that shining again. He caresses your cheek again, and you rest your head on the pillow, letting your faces meet.

“Rein.”

“Hm?” he says, fixed on your eyes and the way his thumb draws on your cheek.

“Can I kiss you?”

He smiles widely, even more than before. He gets closer to you.

“Until my lips hurt, please.”

[mysmegrace]

i recently installed mystic messenger again after like a month or more of not playing (was afraid of someone finding the game in my phone) , and it felt good to "see" the characters again , so can i please request headcanons of the rfa seeing mc after a long time ?

hello, that's completely understandable lol. i remember back in 2016 when i played it the first time around (i deleted it after the first bad ending and didn't play again until 2019 lol) and was worried people would look on my phone and see it. oh how times have changed lol. but of course!

RFA Seeing MC After a Long Time

---

yoosung kim:

you attended the rfa party during the last summer you had before going to college.

life was looking up for you.

you found an amazing boyfriend, started becoming independent, and got a good summer job.

things only got better when you found out you had gotten accepted to college.

only problem was that the college was in the US, and your friends and lover were in South Korea.

as much as you loved your new life here, you reminded yourself of your feelings before meeting the rfa.

how everything you created here would only be temporary.

but now, you didn’t want to stick to that anymore.

your life was going so well, and you knew yoosung wouldn’t be happy about you leaving to go across the globe.

however, it was too good of an opportunity to let it go.

this was what you were to planning to do for the last decade.

if you were to give up now, all your hard work would be for nothing.

you were incredibly conflicted, but eventually choose to follow your passion at college overseas.

and yoosung was frantic about it.

he wouldn’t be able to see you, protect you, help you, feed you, walk with you, the list went on.

however as he’s gotten more mature over the past few days, he knew he didn’t have the power to stop you, nor should he guilt you about it.

besides, he wanted you to pursue something you were passionate in and become successful.

some sacrifices would just have to be made.

that didn’t mean he would let you go either.

the two of you made a promise to call, facetime, and visit each other as often as possible.

you’d make it work.

so with much regret, you left to the states.

and when the holidays approached, you decided to bring yourself to him as a gift.

it had been months since he saw you at this point.

you both could enjoy the holidays together while relaxing.

it was a win win.

and what better way to carry out your surprise than by showing up to his front door at 10pm?

and that’s exactly what you did.

giving the door a good few knocks, you waited until you were greeted by yoosung standing in his unwashed pajamas, staring at you.

it took a few seconds for it to click who you are, yet once that processed, he was overcome with joy.

you thought it was adorable how his hands flew to his face as he began to pull you into a hug shortly after.

you were met with only parts of words as yoosung couldn’t explain his excitement fast enough.

and you were ecstatic as well.

you never realized how much you missed him until you were reunited with him again.

hence why after you two spent the holidays together, you found it incredibly difficult to leave again.

however with his encouragement, you went off to work your hardest so he could meet a successful you the next time you reunited.

hyun ryu / zen:

much like zen, you were an actor too.

you were a much lesser known actress, but you had began building connections.

and those connections all paid off when you were offered a new role in a movie that was predicted to be going big.

you couldn’t be more grateful.

yet as you began reading farther into the offer, your heart slowly sunk.

if you were to take the role, you would have to relocate to germany for the next 9 months.

you wanted this so bad, but you didn’t want to leave zen alone for 9 months.

he if could, he would join you in germany.

but he already had a role to work on in south korea.

as much as you wanted him to join you, you didn’t want him to give up his role he had been working so hard on for the past year.

you were conflicted, and knew it would be best to talk about it to zen.

not only to see what he thinks, but to ease your feelings.

and once you had the discuss about it with you, you came to a conclusion.

you would could, keeping in contact with him everyday.

though zen was heartbroken about it, he knew how much you wanted this and how much this would advance your career.

so with a heavy heart, he sent you off.

the moment you left on the plane, he was already longing for your reunion.

9 months never went by so slow.

when you were with him, there was never enough time to bask in each others love.

but without him, everyday had an extra 8 hours.

even though you were working 24/7, time stayed still for days on end.

yet when the production ended a month early, all your worries and stresses eased as you could finally reunite with your love in person.

without thinking, you packed all your stuff up once you got back to your trailer to get the next plane back to seoul.

you hadn’t even thought to tell zen until you boarded the plane.

too late now though, as you weren’t aloud your phone on the plane.

what an idiotic rule, you thought.

but perhaps it was better this way, as you could surprise zen with your return sooner than expected.

you gave into the tiredness that followed you around for the months prior, awakening to the speaker saying you’ve landed.

in your half awake state, you got off the plane and called for a cab.

it only took an hour to reach your destination, in which you got more sleep on the way there.

you thanked the driver before heading out, practically running to the front door.

you knocked, hoping to make zen believe you were only a door salesman or a mailman.

you heard some footsteps approaching behind the door in a hurried state, before the door opened and you were greeted with your future husband.

his expression changed in the speed of light once he quickly realized who you were.

you were met with a tight embrace, doubting if you could breath for a second.

zen pulled away not too long after, his excitement getting to him as he said “i didn’t think you were supposed to be home so soon!”

to that, you could only giggle as you admitted the reason behind your surprise.

zen was more than happy to see you home earlier than discussed before.

“this day is too important, we have to do something now!” zen said as he got dressed up to go out in the christmas weather.

with a small laugh, you agreed.

the rest of your day was spent going out to cafes and buying presents for the other rfa members.

and to your luck, the movie turned out a huge success.

not only in germany, but in korea as well.

things worked out for the best, you thought.

but one thing was for sure, you weren’t doing that again.

jaehee kang:

jaehee had brought up the idea of opening a cafe, to which you were 100% in on.

however, in korea you had to have a culinary certificate to own a cafe.

i dont know if thats legit or not i completely made that up

but if you had to get a certificate, you were going to get it in the best way you could.

and a college you had come across was perfect for that.

it was a good price and had a great reputation.

there was one problem however, and that was that it was located in france.

which was a 12 hour flight away from seoul.

you knew there was no opportunity like it, but you couldn’t stop yourself from being on the edge about it.

you didn’t want to leave your friends and family here for 2 years while you went off to another country on your own.

plus who knew if something would happen to you while you were aboard?

your concerns were slightly lessened after you brought up your worries to jaehee, and the encouragement she gave you was overwhelming.

she suggested for you to go for it and that she would hold everything down in seoul while helping the rfa in planning future parties.

on the upside, it would give her more time to save up more money for the opening just in cause it was needed.

with hesitation, you decided to go along with her words and study in france for some time.

you would miss each other, but you both knew it was what you two needed to ensure a sucessful future.

while you were aboard, jaehee would attend culinary classes in korea here and there.

you would keep in contact frequently, but never had the money to go back to seoul on holidays to reunite.

so once those two years had passed, you were out as fast as possible.

you loved france, but you loved your girlfriend more.

you hopped on the plane home, eager to see everyone again.

and once you arrived at the airport in seoul, the first thing you saw as you exited the plane was your girlfriend standing there, eyes focused on the doorway waiting for your arrival.

and once your eyes met, you were quick to run up to her while opening your arms to hug her strongly.

two years was such a long time to be apart, but all was well now.

shortly after, the two of you opened the cafe and were met with an incredible amount of support from the community and rfa.

now you were content to settle down in seoul with the love of your life.

jumin han:

you were very business driven, which jumin liked about you.

even having your own fashion company.

you were unlike many other women he had come across before in various ways.

but the downside to your business focused mind were your frequent business trips.

some would last a day while others would last a week.

though this recent one you were expected to take was unlike anything you had ever had to do before for work.

it suggested you stayed in china for a month as you worked out many business issues and proposals.

while your company had began trending recently, you had never expected this.

the first thing that came to your mind once reading the email was your husband.

you felt horrible when you had to leave him alone for a day, but a month?

you couldn’t even imagine how much that would hurt him.

however, this wasn’t something you could just refuse.

if you did, you weren’t sure if your company would continue standing.

and so later that night, you told jumin everything over wine.

how you didn’t want to but knew your company wouldn’t survive without it.

he didn’t know what to make of everything.

this came at the worst timing.

he needed to stay in korea for the time being for business, so he couldn’t join you in china either.

reluctantly, he supported you in your travels.

he understood your situation, but made you promise to call him every night.

which you had no problem with.

and so with a sad smile, you had left a few days later.

things were frustrating in beijing, but you at least had the comfort of your husbands voice to fall asleep to.

everyone at the office noticed jumins shift in mood as soon as your left.

yet without a voice of concern, things carried on as if nothing happened.

the day you were set to come back, jumin cancelled all plans to spend the day with you.

you needed to make up for the time the two of you lost, and you needed to rest in the comfort of your own home again.

thankfully, your company didn’t meet it’s downfall just yet.

in fact, it was now prospering.

saeyoung choi:

your day was going as it normally would.

well, as normal as a day with saeyoung can go.

yet it all changed when you got a call that your brother had gotten into a bad car accident, and the situation wasn’t looking good.

you didn’t know how to react, so many emotions and fears were overwhelming you.

you knew you were your brothers emergency contact, as he had no one else close to him in his life, so it was no question about why they called you while you were in seoul and he was in brazil.

but after learning about the situation, you quickly realized that you needed to get back to brazil as soon as possible.

they didn’t know how long he had left, and the remainder of his days would require for him to get help to do everyday things.

with your eyes barely spilling over, you told saeyoung everything.

you were met with a hug as he comforted you.

when you brought up the fact of needing to leave, he didn’t think twice before giving you his blessing (though he knew you didn’t need it).

it would be hard on him because he wouldn’t be able to join you as he was in an active mission, but he would keep in touch and make sure of your safety from countries away.

after all, he would do the same if saeran were in your brothers position.

the next day, you backed your flight to brazil, packing only what you needed.

your days in brazil passed in pain, as you watched your brother fight for his life daily.

until one day, his body gave up on him and he passed.

you were devastated.

you were on autopilot in public and breaking down in your hotel room when no one was around.

after attending your brothers funeral and a week of mourning, you began to book your ticket back to seoul.

yet in your state of heart ache, you didn’t realize the change in the countries health as the coronavirus started running through every town in the nation.

planes were unavailable and travel was banned.

now you were stuck here for the next 6 months, always hopping the next month would be better and you’d finally be able to go home.

saeyoung was on his toes all the time, not feeling the same without you.

and you missed him more and more as the days went on.

when the time finally came, you rushed to buy a ticket, though most people weren’t flying due to their fears surrounding the situation.

the plane was empty, allowing you to sneak your phone, sending a text to saeyoung.

“i’m on the plane home now” you typed.

saeyoung was overcome with joy to see your message.

though you had to isolate for 14 days, at least you were in the country and close to him.

once you got off the plane, went into isolation, and tested negative for covid, you ran to your shared home.

opening the door to be greeted with the same old smile that teased you every morning was a refreshing sight.

you ran up as he lifted you in a tight embrace, swaying you side to side in a wave of excitement.

after months of stress and anxiety, you could finally breath.

that realization alone was enough to make you burst out into tears of relief.

your feelings were contagious, as you saw saeyoungs eyes starting to water as well.

you were finally safe and sound in his protection, and that was all he could’ve asked for..

---

01:51 AST - 09/01/21

[petiteoat]

Things I wish I had known about Recovery

It is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, it’s more difficult than starving, fasting or counting calories, it hurts more than hunger pangs and dizziness; it brings to light every ounce of self loathing you have and you can’t just starve it away anymore but learn how to sit with the pain

On that note, if you’re asking yourself “am I even sick enough to have anything to recover from?” the answer is 100 per cent yes, because healthy people do not have to ask themselves those questions. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been enduring this, whether you’ve lost fifty lbs or your weight hasn’t changed - eating disorders are a mental illness, not a physical one.

That being said, you can’t have one foot in recovery and one foot within your eating disorder. Trust me, I tried. All it does is create a hellish purgatory where you’re not losing weight but you’re hungry all the time and all you can ever think about is food and numbers and macros and weight and meal times and miles walked and your body.

When you first start recovering you’re going to experience a terrifying level of hunger, you’ll eat full meals and it won’t even touch the sides. You’ll wonder how you ever managed to get through the day eating so little, and you’ll try countless times to curb your insatiable appetite. However the very difficult truth is that the only way to get rid of extreme hunger is to - you guessed it - eat.

Eat when you first wake up, don’t worry about chugging a litre of water. Eat snacks for no reason, eat junk food, eat because someone else is, eat when you’re hungry and when you’re full and when you’re bored and when you’re angry and when you’re scared. Eat. Eat the meal your mother made for you and cherish the taste, remember how much you loved her cooking when you were a kid. When your jeans don’t fit anymore, eat. When someone makes a comment about your weight, eat. There is no way to escape the insatiable hunger your body feels because you have been starving it for so long.

You will be confronted with the harsh reality of how sick you are. This is particularly prevalent for those of you in denial - like I was. I told myself it was all ironic, that I could stop at any time, that I even ran a fucking thinspo blog ironically because I wasn’t like everyone else, I wasn’t stupid or skinny enough to actually develop an eating disorder in my late teens. Instead every day I had to endure my suddenly overwhelming thoughts regarding food, and there was no escaping it.

You’ll start to realise how frequently normal people engage in disordered behaviours or ways of speaking. You’ll have to watch your colleague drink the black coffee that you tried so hard to pretend to like. You’ll listen to aunts, sisters, cousins, brag about their new diet or talk about how bad they’ve been for eating. You’ll listen to guys talk enviously about some other girl who is super skinny. You have to rise above it.

The alternative to recovery, of course, is death. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even in ten years. Perhaps you’ll live to the ripe old age of ninety. I wonder how your body will look then? Will you have children sat by your death bed - could you endure the horror of being fat and pregnant? I wonder how much you’ll weigh? Will you look back on your life and feel an immeasurable sense of pride because against all the odds you’ve had a thigh gap to die for. You missed out on the birthday cakes, on christmas dinner, on going to the movies with your partner and your hands touching over a bowl of popcorn. You sacrificed years of your life to running, walking, starving, starving, so hungry you think you’ll die - but you didn’t, except one day you will.

Despite it all, how infuriatingly difficult recovery is; if I could go back to my lowest weight and run my hands over my ribs, admire my teeny waist and collar bones; I would choose recovery every single time, because I am myself again - after fucking years of living as a ghost I can proudly say I actually exist and have thoughts outside of food and I promise you it is possible to be fully recovered, but you have to eat.

[mithrilhearts]

How do you stay motivated to write?

This is yet another interesting question, because I can honestly say, there are days (and more recently, have been WEEKS) where I've been unmotivated and uninspired to write. It's coming back to me now, but throughout my entire writing experience (before fanfic, etc) there's always been ups and downs. Here's how I deal with them.

Surround yourself with people who let you yell about your works and interests - Even if they aren't 100% familiar with the characters or the story, find yourself from friends who want to hear you yell and scream about how amazing your ideas. It's a give and take, so remember to be an ear for them as well. I call these people my "hypemen" or enablers, someone who will boost your spirits and cheer you on.

Look through old comments/tags/whatever - I tend to do this when I'm feeling particularly low about a certain piece, and the nice comments that trickle in are very heartwarming and get me motivated again to work on the project.

Entertainment! - Find a source of entertainment that can link to whatever you're working on, and that can help strike desire and motivation to work on something! For me, I rely heavily on music and games, sometimes movies, and new ideas pop up because of these all the time. It gets my brain pumping and is a must.

Don't force it - If you're feeling unmotivated to work on project xyz, then don't force yourself to work on it. It can lead to worse feelings and even burnout. Patience is key, and I promise, people are more than happy to wait (and if they aren't, then these people should also learn patience). Remember, this is a hobby, and yes there are timelines to meet with events, but seriously, take it easy.

Do ask games/tag games/anything to talk about your fic - sometimes just a little engagement and talking about even the most minor of details regarding your story can do a lot!

Don’t focus on the negativity (and DO NOT FOCUS ON STATS) - Fic isn’t a “one size fits all” not everyone is going to love it, but just think of those that DO. Those that are excited for your updates and ideas. There are so many of them out there, and then comes the rare person with a negative comment. Ignore them, some people just try to ruin your day. You know what else can ruin your day? Stat checking all the time. Stats don’t qualify as a way to determine if a work is good or bad. If you enjoy creating the piece, then that’s perfect. Keep on creating!

Be kind to yourself - Take breaks, remember to eat, stretch, do whatever you need to ensure you’re in a comfortable state when going to write. If you’re angry, stressed, haven’t eaten, etc then odds are you aren’t going to be satisfied with your work. Your health comes first, whether physical or mental. BE KIND TO YOURSELF. and don’t stress over deadlines (events are excluded from this lol), look at the point above this one most of all. Don’t let others get you down, and don’t stare at the stats like a lifeline. They mean nothing.

Have fun - so long as YOU are having fun, that’s what matters. Write for yourself, and enjoy what you do!!

[a-cure-for-writers-block]

#100 (more) Angst/Argument Prompts

This has been highly requested recently and I had a bit of time whilst I was on holiday, so here we are! 100 more angst/argument prompts~ I’m sorry if it’s a little repetitive of the last one, I hope I didn’t recycle them- anyways, enjoy!

“Don’t touch me, you lost that privilege when you let him into our bed.”

“You just keep acting like everything’s fine! It’s not fine!”

“I hate you, I hate everything you stand for, every fibre of your being.”

“I don’t have the energy to yell at you, you’re not worth it anyway.”

“Show up here again and you won’t live to see the end of it.”

“You killed her! She was the only person I ever loved and you killed her!”

“There’s not a single reason I can think of for me to let you see her. You may be her father, but I’m her everything.”

“You broke me! You ruined everything we had and- for what?”

“I know you hate me, but you should hear yourself. You sound just like him, you sound just like your father.”

“Nothing you do will fix things, no amount of money will turn back time.”

“I wish you’d just leave me alone, I wish I’d never met you.”

“You really were the worst thing to ever happen to me. I mean that.”

“I wouldn’t hate myself as much as I do now if it weren’t for you.”

“Thank you for ruining my life, I know exactly the kind of person I don’t want to become now.”

“Don’t look at me like you’re sorry. You’re not sorry.”

“You’ll never love me like you loved her. I know that now.”

“Not now, not ever. You’ll never be the person I love.”

“I can’t believe I was ever stupid enough to think I knew you.”

“Yell at me, scream until your throat hurts, put a damn bullet in my chest, but you will not touch him.”

“I would rather die than be the person who climbs into bed with you at the end of the night.”

“You lied! You lied again and I fell for it!”

“Everytime you open your mouth I want to push you over the edge of a cliff and I mean that with all my heart.”

“Don’t pretend there’s more than years of pure hatred here.”

“We were never in love, we were simply caught up in a nightmare that felt like a dream.”

“You’ll never forgive me, I know that, but please just pretend you love me. Just until the kids are old enough.”

“Shoot me, I dare you, it’ll make you feel better.”

“And if I die, I swear, I’ll crawl out of my grave just to ruin your life.”

“I promised you a lifetime of misery, do you really think I’m done just yet?”

“You’ll end up dead if you keep that up and it won’t even be at my hands.”

“Hit me, hit me and see what happens to you.”

“Let’s just say that if I saw you bleeding out on my kitchen floor, I’d act like I hadn’t seen you.”

“It wasn’t an accident! It wasn’t and you know it!”

“It was assault, it was you.”

“There’s no one I can hire, no one I can call that will give you a torturous enough death.”

“You could’ve left! You could’ve run away with me!”

“Anything- anything- but this!”

“There’s nothing I can say to get you to fix what you did, there’s nothing I can do to understand why you did it.”

“You should’ve just killed me, I could’ve just been a nameless body in an abandoned cemetery. You could’ve just set me free.”

“He’s the only person left! He’s the only thing I’ve got, the last good thing in my life!”

“You can’t take her, please! I’ll do anything, I swear!”

“She was nothing to you, was she? Then prove it.”

“Don’t even look at me, everything about you is everything I tried so hard not to be.”

“You’re not someone I’ve ever understood, but I never thought I’d hate you as much as I do at this moment.”

“Wow, you’ve really outdone yourself, I want nothing more than to ruin your life.”

“Jump, I dare you, but will that really make you happy?”

“You sound just like the person I used to love, but you’re not him anymore, are you.”

“I asked for your help, I begged you for it, now do you understand?”

“Don’t romanticise death if you won’t follow through.”

“Hate is a pitiful emotion, but then again, you are a pitiful person.”

“What is stronger than love? Nothing? Then you will simply not win.”

“You could’ve defeated me, broken me, left me as a pile of flesh. What stopped you?”

“I never have been someone to take the moral high ground, blood and broken bones is much simpler, don’t you think?”

“She wasn’t your person to ruin.”

“I had it under control! I had a plan!”

“She’ll bleed out before nightfall and you think we should stay? Are you stupid?”

“Let’s hope he doesn’t remember your face when he wakes up, your eyes always were horribly distinctive.”

“You shouldn’t have come, I don’t want you here.”

“He doesn’t own me! He can’t keep controlling me anymore!”

“I refuse to keep being a pawn in your game, this has to end.”

“If I loved you, would I really have kept you around? Love is a weakness, I don’t have weaknesses.”

“I must admit, it would’ve been easier to get rid of you if you weren’t so beautiful.”

“Nothing will change if you stay here with me! Nothing will ever change!”

“It should’ve been an easy decision to make, but you’ve never made things easy, have you.”

“The worst part was that I saw it coming, I knew you’d hurt me, hurt us, but I still kept you around.”

“I can keep this up for longer than you can stick around for. Cut my hair, change my name, you’ll never find me.”

“What did you want in the beginning? What did you think would happen?”

“You’re not him! You’re not him and that’s the problem!”

“Hire a necromancer so I can tell her how much I hate her guts for leaving me like this.”

“There’s nothing you can do, this is it. This is how it goes.”

“You never let me go, that’s why you’re miserable.”

“I’m not the person at fault, I never was. It’s you, it was always you!”

“Just pretend we’re okay, just for tonight, just for show. I’ll be gone by sunrise.”

“So none of it was real? You didn’t mean any of it?”

“You’re the last person I want to talk to right now. We can’t just put things aside because I’m having a bad night.”

“People talk- people will always talk- and you never listened.”

“The last thing I want is for you to think I’m grateful for what you did back there.”

“I couldn’t think of a worse outcome, unless of course, you had some other way to ruin my day?”

“Seven billion people in the world and I got put in a room with you. Either I’m cursed or God likes playing house with us.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe you’re the problem? All these people keep leaving and you keep acting surprised.”

“You betrayed her! You betrayed her trust and look where it got us!”

“I should’ve stayed in San Francisco, I shouldn’t have ever met you.”

“Even after everything, you still won’t admit this was your doing. This was your fault. It always has been.”

“I can’t risk her getting hurt anymore, I can’t put her in danger just to keep you safe!”

“You’ve never been someone I looked up to, I just wished you’d at least acknowledge me.”

“This was never how I wanted things to go.”

“Living is so much harder than dying, are you sure you’re fit for living?”

“I wanted her heart, everything good and pure, but nothing in this world is ever what it seems.”

“You should’ve seen the look on his face- he’s going to destroy you.”

“She’s my daughter, can you really blame me for hating her when she’s just like me?”

“You never should’ve left, it never should’ve been an option.”

“Somehow, whatever you do seems to be the wrong thing. I’m sick of it.”

“Do you actually hate me or is it just the idea of having someone to despise that you enjoy?”

“Nothing you guessed about me was true, I’m nothing like anyone’s ever met before.”

“I’m not the person you thought I was, but neither were you.”

“How can you care for her? You’ve never met her, have you?”

“You’ll never meet again, life in death is like nothing you’ve ever seen.”

“I wish a lot of things, but most of all, I wish you didn’t hate me.”

“These days, I think about you, but you’re never the same person I created in my mind.”

“It could’ve been worse, we could’ve fallen in love.”

“At least I can forget him- he’s easy to forget- but her, I’ll never forget her for as long as I live. And it’s all your fault.”

[youarejesting]

Sly like a... ? Part 6

[Master list] [Sly Master List] Beta: n/a (at the moment) Rating: All Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x FailedHybrid!Reader Genre: Hybrid au, fluff, action, adventure, angst, drama, slice of life. Some marked chapters will contain mature/smut scenes, BUT they will not have plot in those scenes and are 100% skippable without losing your place in the story. Words: 1.8k

Summary: Human’s strive to be better, faster and stronger looking to animal DNA. Thus Hybrids are born. As the rise for designer and Pedigree Hybrids increase, so do the failed attempts. There is one species scientists are unsuccessful in creating, but, folklore says they have been here all along, hiding and blending in with the humans for many millennia. How clever they are.

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There had been a moment when Taehyung seemed almost reluctant to leave, as if he was having fun with the hybrids around his age and you couldn’t blame him. He had spent his life with older people who didn’t really do anything particularly thrilling. 

But the night ended without any fights from any of the hybrids so you considered that a bonus. They were slowly becoming more accustomed to the other presence and though there were a few small shoves, hisses or choice words, all in all they were being polite.

Sitting at the dining table talking with Jimin about your plan tomorrow at the shopping centre, he was very close, you knew it was a dominance thing, that he knew you the longest and he was unintentionally rubbing it in the other hybrid’s faces. Seeing Jungkook’s eyes barely staying awake you wished him good night with a hug and told him to get some sleep. 

Yoongi was slinking around looking like he wanted to say or ask something but waiting for you to be alone. Seokjin and Namjoon both headed off to bed and Jimin reached over taking your hand. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his brows creasing in the same concern that laced his words, “you keep making sure we are okay, that no one has asked you?”

“I’m good,” you admitted with a smile, “how are you taking this?”

“You know I am used to it, we grew up in hybrid homes just like this one,” Jimin laughed, “gives me a bit of nostalgia.”

“The only thing that is unsettling at the moment is the smell of the carpet, it is driving me mental?” you laughed, “that bleach not only burns it just makes the place feel empty.”

“I know what you mean, but if you would like I can scent the house?” he wiggled his eyebrows. “like we used to?”

“Jimin we were children running around naked was okay back then now it would be weird,” you scoffed, pushing him away, “go to bed.”

“You want to sleep in my room?” he pouted, “there is no need to be a martyr”

“Thanks but, I am going to stay up a little later and work out some things.” Jimin walked into the hall eyeing the older hybrid and gave a deliberate, let me know if you need anything spiel.

“Hey Yoongi, is something wrong?” you smiled patting the seat beside you, he hesitantly sat on the seat keeping his distance. He seemed to mull over his thoughts and choose his words carefully before he attempted to speak.

“When I was in University the first time, I was studying psychology, I wanted to help young hybrids,” you repressed a squeal he was opening up and you were so proud, “I was wondering, if there is a chance I could continue that course? I still want to help other hybrids like myself.”

“Of course, that is perfect, I can get you ready I will get your folders and work transferred over and we can have you started in no time, they might ask you to do an entrance exam so if you don’t mind I can give you a little refresher with the other boys and then you will be all set, all the Uni classes are online, so you don’t have to worry about transport and it’s all paid for so money isn’t an option either.”

“I don’t like free things” he played with his sleeves, “I much rather get things on my own”

“Well, if you would like I can give you pocket money everyday and you can save it so that you don’t feel helpless. Let’s say accompanying me grocery shopping, I could wash up the dishes and you could dry and little things like that and I can give you... uh, fifty dollars a week,” 

“That is too much,” He said, shaking his head, “not when you are also paying room and board. That is way too much and I don’t want to take more of your money”

“It’s not my money, you forget, I am living free here as well,” you laughed, standing up and holding out your hand. He took it and you walked him to his room, “please don’t stress Yoongi, I promise you I am not as scary as I look, you are safe and I want you to feel safe and if that means you have a little money box under your bed than let’s do it”

Yoongi laughed, “You aren’t scary at all”

“I don’t know if you had seen her dancing this evening, that was scary,” Hoseok called from his room. He was a very easy going guy, he liked to hear the others better so he left the door open. It must be hard coming from the country with night noises and lots of hybrids snoring to a place that is genuinely quiet with the occasional sound of a car and his own room.

“Alright Yoongi time for bed, I am here now so I hope you like being tucked in?” you walked him to his bed and pulled the blankets up to his chin and you could hear the purs as you pet his head.

“I want to be tucked in too,” Jungkook wined down the end of the hall, and you froze as the chorus of me too filled the hall. Rolling your eyes you stood up pressing a kiss to Yoongi’s forehead and stepping out.

“Fine, let me start with Jin, you want to be tucked in?” You grinned and the oldest hybrid nodded vigorously from his bed. You made the rounds and visited every room, Namjoon announced he was already tucked in and would accept a good night. He was acting proud but you thought to try anyway. “your blankets are askew, let me help, you can’t be tucked in if your blanket is all wonky”

The excuse worked and he purred deep in his chest as you pet his head and kissed his forehead. Hoseok made you laugh and requested multiple kisses but received a “Don’t be greedy,” from his neighbor Jimin.

Jimin gave you his signature eye smile that you just knew was there even without your superior night vision. You thought about it and a lot of the hybrids in the house were nocturnal giving reason to their late bedtimes and keen senses in the dark. You weren’t too sure about Hoseok and Taehyung so that would be something to google before bed.

Stepping up to Jimin’s bed he grinned, “Tuck me in,” he declared his arms out as if he was getting a hug. 

“Okay but you have to lay down and stop squirming,” you reprimanded, making him still long enough to tuck him in placing a kiss on his forehead with a pat, his hands holding his tail as he always did when he slept. “You still hold your tail when you sleep”

He blushed and turned away, “I dunno it’s comfy”

“It’s cute, have a good night” you walked on to the last room where Jungkook was standing at his door obviously having gotten impatient. You walked him to his bed and sat beside him as he got comfortable.

“y/n, I love being here and I don’t want you to give me up but, I miss my family, I barely remember anything about my mother I can’t even remember what she looked like, all I remember is she smelt like clean cotton and sunny days” He said a few tears in his eyes. 

Wiping his eyes he sniffed, “I wanted to be cool for you, but I am just a big baby” he whined, “Can you stay with me until I fall asleep, sing me a song or tell me a story?”

“Alright, get comfortable and I will tell you a story koo” tucking him in you opened your mouth when he grabbed your hand, “Is something wrong?”

“You have to give me a goodnight kiss too, while I am awake or I won’t feel it” he gave a big cheeky grin and you laughed brushing his bangs to the side and pressing a small kiss on his forehead. “Alright I am ready”

“This was a story that I was told when I was young,” you shuffled onto the bed more, “in japan there are monsters and mythical creatures called yokai…”

“Yokai were sometimes even gods they could be good and they could be bad, the kitsune was a yokai, they said when a fox grew to a certain age they would be able to transform into humans” Felix spoke cleaning some of the toys off your bed.

“Like Hybrids!” You giggled, jumping on your bed, your stuffed toy under your arm, Felix tackled you onto your pillow and grinned, tucking you in and switching off the light. He reached over to turn on a small night light. “Or like the other story where they peel off their skin?”

“Alright, I admit it was a mistake to tell you that, are you still having nightmares?” he sighed rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I still haven’t been let off babysitting duty because of that, the earful Astrid gave me”

You laughed at his dramatic shiver, she wasn’t that scary, but Felix always seemed to think so. “If you know so many stories about fox hybrids then why did they make me, if they were already out there?”

“That is the thing little Kit, they aren’t hybrids” his smile was big and his eyes gleamed mischievously. “They are huli jing, kitsune and kumiho, they aren’t hybrids. These are special beings; foxes with the ability to transform into humans, they are special.” 

“If they can disguise themselves as humans how do you know they exist, have you seen one?” you were ever curious to know more about fox related things it made you feel like you were getting to know more about yourself and why you did the things you do”

“Humans can’t see them unless they wish to show themselves to them first, but they can see each other, they can’t hide from one another,” he hummed

“Are you a fox person Felix?” the memory of the other night in your head when you thought you saw two tails and some ears attached to him.

“I am just Felix and you young lady are up past your bedtime. So lay still so I can tell the story.”

“The fox breathed fire burning the forest and when their emotions calmed they saw the town destroyed and the woman the fox man had loved had died from the flames along with her new husband” you whispered, Jungkook’s little snores were cute and you readjusted the blanket and gave him another kiss on the forehead before retreating to the living room couch.

A thought passed by about perhaps using Taehyung’s room but you thought it was best to not invade his privacy, that was his safe place and your scent would ruin that. The thought didn’t last long as you were soon out cold from exhaustion.

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