#even if i saw it different than the average person... beautiful.

[afloofwithmultipleinterests]

The latest digital circus episode hit a little close for home for me, and This man, is now my number 1 spot comfort character.

Going more into kinger's character on episode 3... he reminds me so much of my father. I connect with him in that way because... its almost uncanny how like my dad he is, both when kinger is in the light, and dark. This is probably the best art i'm going to make in my entire art hobby, because i put every ounce in my soul for drawing my now favorite digital circus character ... I Love you dad, more than you'll ever know. I'll see you later.

[notrapsplease]

Werebear Halsin Headcanon

I have seen a couple other posts going around about werebear Halsin and wanted to make my own with some of my thoughts/evidence because I have been a werebear truther since I first saw the beefy elf daddy.

This doesn't really have spoilers in it, but I do touch on a couple plot points from the game. Fair warning! I also pull a lot from D&D itself, specifically 5th edition since that's what BG3 is built on.

This ended up being long, so I split it into a few different categories, they are in no particular order:

Quite large for an elf

We all know, Halsin is big. Large even. In D&D, elves are described as being slender and slight. Even if they are athletic they are not muscular and are lighter than other races of the same size (as in a 5'5" human will weigh more than a 5'5" elf). They are a little shorter than humans on average.

This puts Halsin well outside the usual elf physiology. When this is addressed in game, Halsin says perhaps he has some orc ancestry or "conventional wisdom is too narrow about what someone can or cannot be" (beautiful sentiment Halsin, you're still big).

Being a werebear offers a simple explanation for his unusual size. Werebear in D&D are described as being large and muscular, even in their humanoid form.

It's a "Wildshape"

Sure buddy.

Halsin's bear form is explained away as one of his druid wildshapes, but there are a couple things that don't line up.

First is the UI itself. Halsin’s bear form is separate from wildshape. It’s in the general abilities section not the class features. This might be just for programming reasons, but I still think it’s interesting.

Second and more incriminating, Halsin stays in bear form for too long. ACT 1 Spoilers: When you find Halsin in the Goblin Camp, the Goblins don't know he's a dude, they just think he's a bear. Even if in the stories timeline you're supposed to reach him the same day as when he was kidnapped, that's still a long time to maintain a wildshape. As per DND 5e rules: "You can stay in a beast shape for a number of hours equal to half your druid level (rounded down)."

So even if Halsin is STARTING as a max BG3 level druid at level 12, he should only maintain wildshape for 6 hours. Even as a Circle of the Moon druid, the time doesn't increase.

"I...lost the run of myself"

Related to the idea that Halsin's bear form is a wildshape, I need to touch on the parts of the game that indicate Halsin can lose control of his bear form.

My main piece of evidence here is that wildshape in D&D has no indication that you lose any control of your impulses. In fact, wildshape describes the opposite: "Your game statistics are replaced by the statistics of the beast, but you retain your alignment, personality, and Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores."

The fact you retain your mental stats mean you are in total control. There is no mental difference between a druid in wildshape and a druid in their humanoid form. To be in wildshape is a CHOICE the druid makes.

This is in contrast to spells like Polymorph which indicate that you lose your mental stats AS WELL as your physical ones: "The target's game statistics, including mental ability scores, are replaced by the statistics of the chosen beast. It retains its alignment and personality."

I bring that up just to showcase that D&D does have that distinction, if wildshape was meant to be something that you could lose control of, or let the beast take over, they would have written it that way.

ACT 3 spoilers: This idea that he can be made to lose control is also hinted at if Orin kidnaps him from your camp. Orin's dialogue from the kidnapped victim usually indicates a deep-seated fear the victim has, or their worst case scenario. Having kidnapped Halsin describe himself losing control indicates to me that it's his biggest fear. Which makes sense as a werebear, as a druid…not so much.

In contrast to wildshape, which is a voluntary choice the druid makes, being a werebear is a curse. Halsin is obviously in good control of his werebear self (I discuss this later on), but it is still a curse and can affect him negatively, especially in impulse and instinct.

Alignment: Neutral Good

Now I've got to talk about the werebear curse a little more. And D&D lycanthropy in general.

When someone is afflicted with the curse and resists it, they maintain their normal alignment but struggle to contain the beast. If an afflicted person chooses to accept the beast they gain more control over their bestial form, but lose their alignment to the alignment of the kind of lycanthrope they are.

Both Halsin and the canon D&D werebear are Neutral Good. Which means Werebear Halsin is in alignment with his bestial side, offering some manner of control over his transformations.

Only you can prevent shadow curses.

Werebear are described as being lone hermits who guard their territories fiercely, protecting their habitat, and the flora and the fauna from any threat. Sounds like a werebear might get really obsessive trying to rid his territory of, say, a Shadow curse.

Halsin and Thaniel's relationship makes a lot more sense if Halsin is a werebear. They met when Halsin was a child, so Halsin wouldn't have been a druid yet. In D&D druids are a learned class, more like clerics. Certainly Halsin could been a child in touch with nature, but why did Thaniel single him out?

If Halsin was a werebear though, he would have already had a natural desire to protect the land, the land being personified as Thaniel.

The werebear curse is described in D&D as usually being passed on voluntarily, as in a werebear chooses who they want to bite, either a companion or an apprentice. Werefolk curses also pass through bloodlines (as in you can be born a werefolk). The general consensus is if you are born a werefolk you will naturally align with the curse's alignment so you will innately be in more control then a bitten werefolk. We already know Halsin is Neutral Good, like werebears usually are.

This is a more headcanon-y part, but I think Halsin’s family were probably all werebear, or at least one of his parents was and from a lineage that had a history protecting the land Halsin grew up on. Knowing that Halsin's family all passed away, this could also indicate why Thaniel singled him out, maybe Halsin was the last in the werebear lineage that had chosen to defend the land Thaniel personified.

Either way, Halsin and the werebear align in the desire to protect natural spaces, and Halsin's obsession with the shadow curse could stem from that innate desire.

This isn't my first time recruiting a werefolk druid

This is meta evidence, but I'm including it. In BG2 there is a druid named Cernd and he’s a werewolf! What does this have to do with Halsin? Not a lot, but it shows that having a companion who is a werewolf is established in the universe. Cernd also establishes that being a druid helps to control a werecreature curse. Cernd isn’t feral and has greater control over his werewolfism because of his abilities as a druid. Also Cernd has magic items that are from High Forest. If that sounds familiar, it's where Halsin says his family is buried. idk the connection but it's interesting.

Final thoughts

I think that's all?? I also want to talk about why I think the Werebear curse wasn't brought up in game.

One of the other posts I saw suggested that the reason it’s not brought up in game is Halsin doesn’t know he's a werebear. I get that, I can totally see that, but I don’t think that does Halsin justice. Halsin may be a beefy boy, but he isn't oblivious. There is no way Halsin has lived for 350 years and hasn’t realized he’s a werebear. 350 years is a long time not to bite anyone.

I think the more likely explanation in game is simply that it never comes up. Halsin is in control (mostly) and not worried about it. He is also not used to having people who care for him (this is a huge part of his characterization in game), and probably has had to keep the fact that he is a werebear relatively secret throughout his life.

From a meta perspective, I think it was cut for time and content. We KNOW that a lot of his content was cut already (Sorrow, anyone?). There is also the fact that originally one of the other origin characters was going to be a werewolf, so they may have decided to ease back on Halsin being a werebear so she would be more unique. Then she ceased to exist anyway. Personally I think they should have included some dialogue about it somewhere, especially after deciding not to have the werewolf companion. I genuinely can’t FATHOM that werebear Halsin wasn’t the plan all along, regardless of if they decided to cut it. Alright I'm done. Werebear believers unite!

[shepherds-of-haven]

How would the ROs rate their own attractiveness? Like do they consider themselves attractive?

Huh, good question!

Blade: he is distantly aware that other people/society in general considers him to be good-looking in some capacity. (By Ket standards, he and Gladius both are considered to be blessed with markedly good looks, but almost in a 'pretty boy' kind of way. Gladius is considered like stunningly beautiful while Blade has more of 'effortlessly hot' aura). So he would say other people probably think he's "above-average" in looks (but he also believes it to be more of a muscularity/strength thing than things like his facial features. Like women, if they do find him attractive, probably think so because he looks like a strong provider LMAO). But he himself doesn't think about his own attractiveness or appearance beyond what good hygiene and proper presentation dictate... he hardly spares himself a glance in the mirror most days. As you can tell by his haircut choices

Trouble: he considers himself to be average in looks, neither particularly handsome or particularly ugly, just exactly in the middle of the road! If asked to describe his own attractiveness in more detail, he'd probably say something like, "I clean up okay. I'm a decent-looking working-class guy? *shrug* I don't think anyone would be mad if I showed up at their doorstep with a bouquet of flowers, but artists aren't swooning over my cheekbones, either"

Tallys: Tallys considers herself to be a good-looking woman, probably an 8 if we're using a scale, a 9 if she put more effort into being conventionally beautiful (doing things like growing out her hair (!), using makeup or perfume, dressing well, etc.). She's confident in her own attractiveness and doesn't find much fault with her own features or body, but she also knows that doesn't mean she's everyone's specific cup of tea, either! She just believes that, according to a general standard, she rates highly in most areas, and no one could sincerely call her ugly. It helps that she's an Elf, since most of them have a high standard of confidence when it comes to their natural beauty!

Shery: before she joined the Shepherds, she believed herself to be average or below-average, and believed herself to be "mousy": hiding behind her bangs and spectacles was not something she ever saw conventionally beautiful people doing, so she grew up thinking she was forgettable or unremarkable, though not necessarily ugly or outright unattractive. Just sort of "plain." However, since joining and noticing that there are people who seem to compliment or even crush on her, she's since come to tentatively revise that opinion and thinks she could probably be considered "cute" by some people's standards, but she still thinks that her personality makes it hard for anyone to really notice her or become completely enthralled by her... so she would say she's probably like a 6 or 7 by looks alone, which she's content with!

Riel: as like a work of art or a painting (so judging by pure aesthetics alone, devoid of other considerations), he believes he rates around an 8 just going by the symmetry of his facial features, his taste in clothes, the fact that he's well-groomed, but he's a bit self-conscious of how he rates in terms of desirability or sexual appeal, which is a different thing entirely (in his own mind). Like, you can admit a painting is beautiful, but you don't want to fuck a painting? In those terms, he believes he falls well below the standards of the masculine ideal, probably resting at a 5, though he believes he makes up for it in other areas (wealth, intellect, uniqueness, etc). It doesn't bother him that much, but it is something that he is aware of at the back of his mind!

Chase: He thinks he's pretty good-looking (🙄), but that the effect is best felt and supplemented by his in-person charisma, charm, aura, and general personality. This is an extremely topical/dated example, but it's sort of like how a lot of people were largely indifferent to Glen Powell going strictly by looks alone, but then they saw him acting in Twisters or Top Gun or whatever and saw his chemistry with his co-stars and were suddenly like "oh 😳" Like he needs to be seen in action to really feel attracted to him?? Anyway, Chase thinks that if you were to see a perfect painting of him in a gallery, he's good-looking enough alone to make you stop and admire him, so probably like an 8... but his magnetism in person brings that to a 10 LOL

Red: He "doesn't really think about it" (🙄)--he more spends time grooming and styling himself to his own standards rather than really fretting over what other people would perceive or rate him as, but if you really pressed up, I think he'd say he's an 8 on a good day, potentially a 9 if he were to try very hard, but he'd sort of vaguely look around at everyone else to confirm if this was an arrogant thing for him to say lol, so he's definitely not totally sure about it! There aren't too many things he finds fault with when it comes to his physical appearance or body--he's generally satisfied and content in that department--but he also would never argue he's some great show-stopping beauty or gorgeous model: he just quietly lives with the idea that most people think he's a naturally pretty handsome guy!

Ayla: this is sad, but she probably rates herself a 3, maybe a 4 on a good day. 😕 Ayla thought she dispensed with thinking about her own appearance or attractiveness long ago, having accepted the fact that most people perceived her as this ragged, scrappy loner who mostly lived on the road and was lucky if she could find a stream to wash her hair in. She never possessed a mirror and, the rare times she stayed in a room that had one, she used it to check herself over for hidden injuries or things on her back and then went on her way... and none of this really mattered to her because she spent so much of her time alone. No one was really looking at her, she wasn't looking at herself, so who cared if she looked like a half-drowned rat with her hair growing into her eyes while she shook sand out of her clothes? Since joining the Shepherds, however, her private consciousness of her appearance has naturally increased, and sometimes she can feel quite down about it (especially when faced with the elegant grace of Tallys, the feminine cuteness of Shery, or the show-stopping beauty of Lavinet). Part of being in a group that she avoided was the vulnerability of natural comparison: no one's comparing you to anyone if you stand alone, but with the Shepherds, of course that's going to happen, even if only in her own mind... Anyway, this is a lot to say that she considers herself to be below-average in attractiveness, but is filled with a sullen self-loathing and pride when she considers doing anything to try to change that fact, so she just... resigns herself to feeling that way forever, if that makes any sense!

Briony: she thinks she's cute and can edge over into pretty when she tries really hard, so she'd probably say she hovers between a 6 and a 7 on an average day? While she thinks she has advantages like her striking hair color and eyes, she has areas that she privately feels a bit insecure about: she feels her face is too round, her nose is too short, feels like she's a bit short and compact and boyish in body when she's rather be tall and leggy like Tallys or buxom and curvaceous like Lavinet, etc. etc. It's not something that really bothers her--she figures that everybody feels that way about themselves--so she's happy with being "above-average" on most days. It's only when she's crushing on somebody and isn't sure of how they perceive her that she gets really unsure and self-conscious about it, and then she really obviously throws herself into styling herself to appear more feminine!

Lavinet: don't hate her, but she definitely thinks she's a 10 LOL. This is partly due to the fact that, by Blest beauty standards, she pretty much is a paragon of desirability, and everyone in her life has treated her as if she were a 10 or even outright said so... so there's really no reason for her to think otherwise! There are always small things she would tweak if she gave any thought to it, but in general she's been very happy with her appearance and how she's been able to use it as a tool to accomplish her goals in life!

Halek: he is well aware that he's gorgeous... he wouldn't say this out loud because he knows he'd get endlessly ragged on, but he'd probably say he's a 10 LMAO, maybe 9 so as to give the appearance of some humility... It's not even something he's arrogant about, he's just like aware of general beauty standards and is like 'yeah by no choice of my own and by complete accident of birth, i happen to fit these really well? *shrug*" It's nbd... and it's part of where his bde comes from, I'm sure

[trippinsorrows]

midnight sun

authors note: don't ask. don't ask. don't ask.

words: 1.8k

warnings: angst, domestic violence

song inspo: 'faithfully' by journey

And bein' apart ain't easy on this love affair Two strangers learn to fall in love again I get the joy of rediscovering you

Pressure.

A constant, almost soothing, irreparable thing. A loyal companion that hasn’t escaped nor forsaken him for as long as he can remember. The perpetual weight of responsibility that was assigned to him the day he entered this world, and something that will remain with him until the day he leaves it.

Whenever the fuck that’ll be.

At this rate and with his luck, not for a very long time.

“Did you know that the average person has four bad days per month?”  An overheard question.  Something Roman has to scoff at. Whatever sample that was used that produced such a statistic had to have been the fucking soccer and yoga moms. The ones who consider Starbucks being out of fucking pumpkin spice the definition of a bad day. “Adults also apparently smile 15 to 20 times per day.”

Another random fact that’s overheard, except it’s something that Roman realizes is much closer than he initially realized. The proximity does not align with something that’s in earshot. More so something that’s right in front of him.

“I don’t know if I—if I really believe all that, but—”

With a heavy sigh, he lifts his head, ready to lay into the poor, unsuspecting soul. “Why are you fucking talking to—”

Two abrupt stops. Two interruptions. Two complete collisions. 

A second round.

Years. Almost twenty, and yet the instant his eyes lock with hers, he knows, and judging by the way she drops the notepad in her hand, she knows, too.

It’s been some time since he’s felt so thoroughly shaken, but that’s exactly what he feels in this moment.

“Solana?”

Not that there was any doubt before, but the tiny gasp that leaves her mouth is all the confirmation he needs that this is most definitely her. 

Her eyes. So big, brown, and inquisitive. Once filled with an abundance of hurt and pain, an ideal match with his all that time ago, is no longer the same. Something different. There’s some trace of happiness. Yet, there’s something almost disingenuous about it. Like, it’s a poor attempt at camouflaging what was felt so long ago.

What might still be felt.

“Roman….”

His jaw clenches. It’s been so long since he’s heard his name leave the mouth of someone like her. Soft. Innocent. Kind.

None of those non-physical things about her have changed. He can tell that even in this brief, unexpected interaction. 

Naturally, his eyes move over her, noticing her hair is no longer long and cascading down her back. It’s short, barely brushing past her shoulders. Lighter. It suits her.

Her body is filled out, shapely, womanly, heavy in the desired areas. And the minute her mouth curls into an almost hesitant smile, he finds himself pleased that that has remained unchanged.

She always had such a soothing, beautiful smile.

“I—what—what are you doing here?”

A good fucking question considering he has a million and other things on his to-do list and not one of them includes sitting in this random coffee shop he drove past on his aimless drive. 

“I mean,” she laughs nervously, hand to her face, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, that’s—that’s a silly question. You don’t have to answer—”

“I was driving and saw it. Wanted coffee.” Not necessarily a lie. He does now want coffee but not necessarily when he chose to park his Maserati and enter into the quiet, almost wholesome shop. “You work here.” A statement. Not a question.

Nodding, he’s much more pleased than he should be to see her smile grow. “Well, technically, I—I own it, but—”

“You own this place?” To anyone else, it’s perhaps a silly thing to “ask” given she just said as such, but for him, for them, it's so much more.

Her smile is bright, a light that contrasts the still unhealed bruises on her face as she shares with much more hope and optimism than anyone in their situation should have, “I want to own a coffee shop some day.” Looking over at him, consciously or unconsciously scooting closer, she challenges, “guess what I’m gonna name it?”

A bitter scoff leaves his mouth. He rolls his eyes but still gives it a go. “Sunshine’s place or some shit like that?”

Her giggle is a respite from the heaviness of the past two weeks. The only escape he’s found in this hell hole. And not just the facility. 

“No. I’m gonna name it—”

“Dulce’s…..” Roman pulls himself from a memory buried so deep, he doesn’t know how he was able to retrieve it. “You always said…..” 

“Yeah…..” she answers in a low voice, pushing back some of her hair, a nervous habit he sees still exists. But, it’s not the habit he’s focused on. It’s the diamond on her finger.

An engagement ring. 

“You’re engaged.” Another assessment. One that shouldn’t stir up whatever the fuck is brewing within him.

For a second, she looks like it’s a surprise to her as well. And, he sees it, catches the brief glimpse of an attempted escape. 

That sadness. A feeling that doesn’t quite escape a person, not to the extent she felt.

That they both felt.

Still feels, clearly.

For her, at least.

Maybe.

“Y—yes. Ummm—”

“Solana.”

Another voice introduced to the conversation. Male. Gruff. Infuriating. Roman cuts his eyes to the out of shape man who looks like a recovering alcoholic and someone who doesn’t need to be talking or even around her.

“Cody’s waiting.”

Cody?

But, Roman doesn’t have time to think too much about that ugly ass name. His focus is back on Solana, Solana who has suddenly shifted from slightly timid to downright terrified. She’s grasping at the material of her apron. “But, I—I thought he said I could work all day tod—”

“Plans changed.” A rude, coarse interruption that has Roman’s jaw ticking. Just who the fuck is this man and why does he think he can talk to Solana like that?

“Don’t you see we’re in the middle of a fucking conversation?” A much too late entrance into whatever this is, but an arrival nonetheless. “Leave.” 

For some reason, it seems the man only now decided to pay attention to just who she was speaking to, a recognition that has his eyes widened as he turns back to Solana, poorly whispering, “do you know who the fuck this is?”

“Kevin, please. I’ll—I’ll be out in a minute.” It ticks him the fuck off that she’s practically begging this motherfucker, a man who Roman doesn’t even know but would love to put a bullet in.

Just might after today.

Kevin scoffs and shakes his head. “Your mistake.”

He says nothing else, turning to walk away, Roman standing to possibly commit murder when Solana moves her hand in front of him, as if trying to stop him.

“It’s—it’s fine. My—my fiancé is here.”

Roman looks down at her, still completely unnerved by her complete shift in demeanor. Her fear is practically palpable.

“Solana….” He sees her eyes shut as her name leaves his mouth. “What’s going o—”

“It—it was good to see you, Roman,” she cuts him off, forcing a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes. “But, I—I have to go.” And it’s as she turns to walk away, he makes the mistake of grabbing her wrist. Instant regret fills him when she jumps but something else as well.

Suspicion. 

Solana has always been jumpy. He’s known that from the day they met at that god-awful place so many years ago. But something about the fear that courses through her, is stamped on her voice, feels….different.

He drops his hand, stating in a low voice. “Give me your phone.”

Her eyes widen. “Roman—”

“Please.” A word no one on this goddamn earth could torture out of him, but something that so easily rolls off his tongue for her.

Obviously confused, her expression remains torn even as she reaches in the pocket of her apron, pulling out and unlocking her phone. He takes it from her, ignoring that strange feeling when their hands touch.

Moving fast and thinking quick, he programs his number, choosing an unsuspecting name, one he knows she and only she will recognize. 

Handing it back to her, he instructs, “you need anything, you call me.” It’s not preferred. What he’d prefer is to walk outside and snap that Kevin and this Cody person, if he’s outside too, necks. Would prefer to tell her to just stay with him. But, it’s too much. Much too much given how long it’s been.

And yet, they seem so easily falling back into routine. 

She’s still visibly nervous, holding her phone in her hand instead of placing it back in the apron. Another pained smile followed up with, “goodbye, Roman.”

He doesn’t say it back, almost refuses to. Just watches as she moves to the back of the shop, coming out a few minutes later, apron discarded, purse on her shoulder, nearly rushing out without sparing him a glance even if his gaze never leaves her.

Solana is only able to barely slide into the back of the SUV, the door held open by an irritated Kevin when she’s yanked by her hair.

Piercing blue eyes stare down at her, his other hand wrapped around her neck, squeezing tightly but not enough to completely restrict speech.

“Where the fuck were you?!”

His voice is harsh and angry, as is the look in his eyes. She opens her mouth to try to respond when he instead smashes her head into the window. She winces but refuses to cry out in pain even when his fist collides with her jaw. Her eyes clench shut, Solana already tasting the blood forming in her mouth.

“When I tell you to come, you fucking come, you understand me?!” He shouts, once again grabbing a fistful of her hair. 

Nodding helplessly, she forces out an answer, ignoring the blood leaking out the corner of her mouth. “Y—yes, sir.”

He scoffs, a cruel, wicked smile on his face as he takes pride in his work. In her terror. “Pathetic,” he hisses, shoving her away. Solana moves as far into the corner as she can, forever grateful when he pulls out his phone and initiates a phone call like nothing happened.

It’s stupid and risky and something she most definitely shouldn't be doing, but Solana can’t stop herself from also pulling out her phone and scrolling through her contacts, moving to the R’s only to find nothing there.

There’s an emptiness that accompanies that realization that makes no sense. A sadness that fills her at the thought that he didn’t, but…..the look on his face, so handsome and strong, the fact that he even asked….he had to.

So, she continues to scroll, carefully assessing for each stored contact, stopping when she sees it. Emotion fills her for a completely different reason, reading the single word that carries such weight and meaning.

Journey

[allfearstofallto]

What would Yuri (your yandere bulter OC) do if his lady had an arranged marriege and was meeting the person she was arranged to marry with?

(Y'all make me so happy I could die!! I've been unironically imagining this scenerio for months!!!)

Yandere! Male OC x Reader

“You're much too young to be wed,” Yuri whined softly as his cold finger tips helped you latch the clip of your necklace. A beautiful, pink gem nestled in the center of the neckware drew attention to your bare collar bone, the radiant skin of your chest, and the lovely smile you had just above it. Yet another piece of jewelry your mother had sent you from her travels, she had such a taste for things you liked, despite hardly being around.

You merely scoffed at his words, rolling your eyes in the tandum. While he tied your hair up, you dusted yourself with perfumed powder, staring at yourself the entire time, “You must be insane, Yuri. I'm actually past the average marrying age.”

That much was true. Girls of your status typically married much much younger, usually right after coming of age. Even you yourself received many letters begging for a chance to meet after your debutante, which Yuri would swiftly burn in your fire place when you expressed your distate. You had things holding you back. You longed for schooling, travel, and a the freedom of being young and not tied down. Both your father and Yuri took this news excitedly and never pushed for you to get wed. They both even excitedly told you that you'd never have to leave the manor and if you so pleased, you'd be pampered for the rest of your life.

It sounded nice in theory, living off of your fathers wealth and being a bachelorette until the day you died, but many women at your tea parties were talking about their prospects, fiances, and even their husbands, and suddenly you felt as if you could no longer relate anymore. And the even more harsh realization hit you, that you were lonely. You'd sit quietly at the table, sipping your tea nervously and realizing that maybe it was time for you to begin viewing romance in a different light, not as a hindrance chaining you down, but a new beginning in life.

Your father was expectedly saddened by your announcement and Yuri…well, Yuri’s expression was hard to read. He stood silently for a bit, his lips formed in a tight line, eyebrows starting to furrow a bit behind his thick, round glasses. It was a face you'd never seen him make before, him typically preferring laid back or soft expression.

“You can't actually be serious, my lady,” Yuri forced himself to not sound more hurt than he actually was, but if you listened closely, you could hear his voice tremble, “You always said you'd stay in the manor forever.”

You glanced at yourself once over again in your full body mirror, feeling shy and almost slightly over dressed in the gown you chose. It was such a strange feeling, the way your heart was thumping in your chest, and you couldn't tell if it was excitement or nerves. You could see Yuri behind you in your reflection, a frown still formed on his lips.

“I said that when I was eight! You can't trust the words of a child,”

Yuri sighed again, pushing his snow, white hair out of his face in a sign of stress. A stress reflex that you seldom saw him do. Yuri was a man that was so calm and composed, yet today he was showing so much anxiety. And for what, you'd didn't know.

“Then what of me? This man you're meeting, he's the Duke two cities over. I am here to serve you, my lady, won't I go with you?”

“I'd hate to uproot your life, Yuri,” you began with a sad tone. You couldn't fathom the idea that he could look any sadder, yet as you spoke, his face fell even farther, “B-but mother will be home shortly! She sent a letter saying that it will only be a few more weeks, you could still stay in the manor and tend to her instead.”

Your suggestion is met with a shallow, solemn shake of his head, “You are my life, my lady. I wish to serve no one else.”

[herstoryheaven]

Charles Leclerc x Reader: A Fur-Ever Family

Prompt: You and Charles decide to adopt a pet together. The process of choosing, bringing home, and caring for your new furry friend brings out your nurturing sides and adds a new dimension to your relationship.

Reader: Gender Neutral

Word count: 846

Average reading time: 3 min 5 sec

Category: Fluff

Warnings: None

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Disclaimer: All events portrayed in my stories are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental. Any actions or behaviours portrayed by the characters may differ from reality and cannot be connected to any actual person. This work is purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only.

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Charles and Y/N strolled hand in hand through the narrow streets of Monte Carlo, their steps in sync, their hearts light with joy. Today was a special day for them; they were about to adopt their first pet together, a long-haired cream Dachshund they had already decided to name Leo.

“Are you excited, mon amour?” Charles asked, his voice soft and filled with affection. His eyes sparkled as he looked at Y/N, the love of his life.

“More than you can imagine.” Y/N replied, squeezing his hand. “I’ve always wanted to have a dog, and now we’re doing this together. It feels perfect.”

Charles stopped walking for a moment, pulling Y/N close. He cupped her face gently in his hands, gazing into her eyes. “You make everything perfect,” he whispered before leaning in for a tender kiss. The romantic moment was briefly interrupted by a group of children running past, laughing and playing, reminding them of the lively world around them.

The couple arrived at the pet adoption center, their excitement bubbling over as they entered. The sound of playful barks and meows filled the air, and they were greeted by a friendly staff member who led them to the area where Leo was waiting.

As soon as they saw Leo, it was love at first sight. The little Dachshund wagged his tail furiously, his big brown eyes filled with curiosity and excitement. Charles knelt down and extended a hand towards Leo, who immediately trotted over and sniffed it before giving it a friendly lick.

“Look at him, Y/N,” Charles said, his voice full of awe. “He’s perfect.”

Y/N knelt beside Charles and gently petted Leo’s soft fur. “He really is. I can’t believe he’s ours.”

The adoption process was quick, and soon they were on their way home with Leo happily settled in Y/N’s arms. Charles kept his arm around your waist, occasionally glancing over at you and Leo, his heart swelling with happiness at the sight of his beloved and their new furry friend.

Once home, they set about making Leo comfortable. They had prepared a cozy bed, bought toys, and filled bowls with food and water. Leo explored his new surroundings with curiosity, his little tail never stopping its wagging.

“He’s going to be so spoiled,” Charles said with a chuckle as he watched Y/N play with Leo, her laughter filling the room.

“He deserves it,” Y/N replied, smiling up at Charles. “We’re going to give him the best life.”

Over the next few days, Leo settled into their home and hearts. Charles and Y/N found themselves falling into a routine, each day filled with moments of joy and laughter brought on by Leo’s playful antics. They took turns feeding him, taking him for walks along the beach, and cuddling with him on the couch in the evenings.

One evening, as they sat on the couch with Leo nestled between them, Charles took Y/N’s hand in his. “Y/N, adopting Leo with you has made me realize something,” he said, his voice serious but filled with love. “I want to build a life with you, filled with moments like this. You, me, and Leo, forever.”

Tears filled Y/N’s eyes as she looked at Charles. “I want that too, Charles. More than anything.”

Charles leaned in and kissed Y/N, a promise of a beautiful future together. As their lips met, Leo barked happily and wriggled his way between them, pushing his little snout in an attempt to join the affection.

“Leo! You little rascal.” Charles laughed, gently pushing Leo back.

“He just wants to be part of the moment.” Y/N giggled, holding Leo close.

Charles pretended to pout. “He’s stealing my kisses now.” he teased.

“Guess you’ll have to share.” Y/N replied, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Charles leaned in for another kiss, but Leo jumped up, licking Y/N’s cheek instead. Y/N laughed and Charles couldn’t help but join in. “Alright, alright, you win, Leo.” Charles said, playfully rubbing the pup’s head.

Later that evening, Charles and Y/N found themselves in a playful tug-of-war with Leo. Charles would reach for a toy, only for Leo to clamp down on it and tug with surprising strength. Y/N watched, laughing, as Charles pretended to struggle.

“You’re no match for Leo, Charles.” Y/N teased.

“Oh, is that so?” Charles grinned, then lunged playfully at Y/N, tickling her sides. Y/N squealed, trying to wriggle away while holding Leo, who was now excitedly nipping at Charles’s fingers.

“Hey, hey! Not fair.” Charles laughed, pulling his hand back and shaking it. “Leo, you little biter!”

Y/N was laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes. “He’s defending me! Good boy, Leo!”

Charles pouted dramatically, but the twinkle in his eyes betrayed his amusement. “You’ve both ganged up on me. What am I to do?”

Y/N leaned in, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. “You love us both too much to mind.” she whispered.

Charles wrapped his arms around Y/N and Leo, pulling them both close. “You’re right about that, mon amour.” he murmured, his lips brushing against Y/N’s forehead.

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[meanbossart]

Ask compilation: I'm Starting To Think That This Drow Guy Is Kind Of An Asshole Edition.

Probably a Ranger in the hunter subclass. I actually intended to multi-class him as fighter/ranger at some point and make that his official class, but I haven't had time/quite figured out the best build that would still suit him - Ranger makes a LOT of sense with his backstory, arguably more than fighter, but he's still supposed to be a magic-less brick-house with 19 strength who hasn't handled a bow and arrow in 10 years, so I'm not sure where that leaves us LOL

A lot of people have suggested that Berserk Barbarian would fit him well, but I think that implies a lot of other characteristics that do NOT suit him at all so 🤷

HE DIDN'T EVEN GO TO THE CRECHE, and honestly it made the game feel much more immersive to pick one path and stick to it like Halsin suggested, even if I did have to endure the shadow cursed lands without the shiny mace 😂

Probably for the best, it'd be a real shame if the story ended there just because he didn't like Vlaakith's attitude.

But yeah Lae'zel (who, for the record, I adore) never stood a chance in his playthrough. Sorry baby girl.

I'm either uninformed or we have different definitions of what constitutes a crush, but sure I'll play in this space LOL

He's both jealous but also kind of aloof when it comes to things like that. It's yet another symptom of his arrogance, where it seems unfathomable that anyone who has him would be genuinely tempted by someone else. He doesn't mind a normal amount of glance-stealing and flattery, even playful flirting to a degree, but if there's persistence or if his partner seems to seek another person out for things he thinks he should be providing, he feels threatened.

Also, he has a difficult time discerning that "deep emotional connection" does not equal "romantic interest". So, at least immediately after the events of the game, he's more likely to be made insecure by his partners forming deep bonds with others than any throwaway expression of physical desire or fleeting infatuation.

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

Let me preface this with the (hopefully unnecessary) disclaimer that this murderous dark-elf's opinions are not my own, and that I very much purposefully made a bit of an asshole character because I find that entertaining.

And now that you're hopefully primed for what's coming - DU drow is pretty damn judgemental of people's looks save for the rare times when they give him a good impression right off the bat. He notes people's appearances and makes preemptive assumptions about them without even realizing it. He definitely does not equal beauty to value or prowess (in fact he will very much still mock of you if you seem too concerned with your appearance) but he does prescribe things based on looks.

I don't think he'd take issue with what you're describing, It sounds like a pretty average body, but he would assume that person is weaker and less fit to "keep up with him", basically. Which kind of diminishes interest.

As far as to what he finds immediately attractive, he definitely prefers people who seem physically fit (not more than himself though - gods forbid). But, the caveat to this whole tangent is that once you get past initial impressions, he could definitely come to be sexually attracted to pretty much any type of body attached to the person he's in love with.

Thank you! There was no main event, just the building up of resentment over time and the opportunity she saw opening up when the Chosen's plan came into motion. She definitely didn't always hate him though, they had a fairly close relationship until his obsessive behavior and arrogance became an issue.

Thank you!!!

They call him the/that drow, dark elf, or "big drow" if there's more than one present. In private they might facetiously call him Bhaalspawn if they get tired of referring to him by race.

I'll be honest, I forgot whether or not I found it in his playthrough LOL but if he did stumble across that would be VERY funny. He'd be like "look at these idiots and their fake murder god. What kind of dimwit would worship carnage as a religion. Hey Shadowheart get a load of this-"

HAPPY YOU ENJOY HIM! I think his unique situation overall with having been such a overwhelmingly horrid person and forgetting all about it is my favorite bit. That's kind of vague, I know, but I often think of dreams I've had where I committed a crime or did something horrible, and that immediate feeling of relief and disconnect that follows immediately after waking up. That's kind of what I imagine it's like for him - he knows of the things he did, but he doesn't really. In theory it's all true but that's a truth far too fantastical for anyone to conceptualize even if it's put right in front of your face.

That, tackling the guilt (or lack thereof) of something you genuinely don't feel like you've done and the intricacies of it, that's a fascinating state of mind to explore. I love how many directions you can take that.

For me, having a character who is not good, but is not necessarily pure unadulterated evil, makes for a lot of complex thought experiments and contradictory values. DU drow has a lot of those - things he believes and abides by absolutely except for this specific instance, being contradictory is a pillar of his character and it can be a little challenging to keep up with it - but I'd be lying if I said I don't deeply enjoy that aspect as well all the same.

THANK YOUUUU It took me so long to figure out how to draw Astarion in a way I liked, I'm so relieved that others enjoy it too 😂

Shockingly he did succeed it and was immediately put-off by it, lmao. They wouldn't really develop much of a relationship for a while after that, so at that point DU drow just figured he was trying to get something from him and wrote him off, much as he did with everyone else with the exception of Shadowheart.

He didn't meet her at the Tiefling grove! I didn't even know you could meet her before-hand for the longest time. But he did super, duper kill her at camp of course.

He managed to hide the body and everyone else was none the wiser, huge blood bhaal-sigil on the ground aside lmao. He was a little shocked but didn't feel all that bad about it, kind of resigning to that primal feeling of satisfaction at a job-well-done that overwhelmed him instead. He decided she was too weak to survive out there and he had just spared her the trouble.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 某某 / Mou Mou / The On1y One

The On1y One is a 2024 Taiwanese coming-of-age drama about two high school students who fall in love, but more importantly, become friends -- and oh, they're also living in the same house now, because their parents have decided to get married.

Let's get this part out of the way: Yes, they're (almost) stepbrothers. No, that is not a kink thing at all, especially since they meet and start having complicated emotions about one another before they know their parents are together. Look, I had a childhood acquaintance promoted to stepsibling when I was in high school too, and I can tell you that your feelings about someone do not immediately jump to close family status just because your mom likes their dad. This is a show about how becoming a family; it is not a show about fucking your family.

Here are five reasons I think you should absolutely watch this twelve-episode drama -- and they're going to be as spoiler-free as I can make them, largely because...

1. Holy shit, it's ... actually good?

Believe me, no one could be as shocked as I was to find out this was a thing of actual quality. I first found out about this as 'hey, the handsome doctor from House Haunters is in a Taiwanese BL about high-schoolers' -- which of course sold me on it immediately, as I thought Liu Dongqin was the absolute highlight of the beautiful disaster that is Psych-Hunter, but which also, you must admit, sounds more like a novelty than a real thing of objective value.

Thus, I was prepared for trash! More accurately, I was prepared to enjoy trash. I am clearly on record as a trash-enjoyer. I was going to tuck in and gleefully laugh my way through awkward antics just to see that handsome boy kiss another boy.

Which means I was not prepared to be knocked off my feet by how thoughtful, intense, well-acted, and damn beautiful this series is. It's good. It's actually good. It is, like Beyond Evil, a thing you could put in front of Your Average American Television Enjoyer Who Can Handle Subtitles (And Boys Kissing) without having to apologize every five seconds about the jank. It's stunningly lit. It's chunked into episodes that have reasons to be episodes. It's well-written in a way that even comes through the translation.

Here's a clue to its quality: It's directed by Liu Kuang-Hui, known for Your Name Engraved Herein, an explictly gay film released in 2020 that won, like, all the awards -- which it fucking deserved to. (You don't need to have seen Your Name to watch this, but I think if you have, it adds an extra layer of meaning.) This is a BL made by someone who understands how being a teen boy in love with another teen boy is like being expected to walk around with a knife in your stomach while you pretend everything's fine.

But this is not a show about misery! It is a show about building connections, learning to trust, getting over yourself, and finding joy in taking care of other people. Maybe that sounds a little grandiose for a tiny Taiwanese BL, but it's not an exaggeration. When this drama bills itself as a coming-of-age narrative, it means it's going headfirst into the beautiful hell of being seventeen.

Keep those tissues on hand. You'll need them.

2. What if you fell in love with someone you also liked?

This is a true cat4cat relationship -- but different cat personalities! Finally, diverse cat representation!

Jiang Tian is a feral kitty who has spent so long telling everyone he hates them that he has no idea how to convey that he likes someone, and thus spends the first several episodes basically dropping dead birds at Sheng Wang's feet. Don't let his stoic nature fool you -- he's exactly as into this as (and much sooner than) the much more demonstrative Sheng Wang. Episodes end with little scenes you saw earlier, but recontextualized from Jiang Tian's perspective. So don't ever worry that Jiang Tian's being taken advantage of or coerced in any way. The boy has agency, and he uses it.

Meanwhile Sheng Wang is like a pampered little housecat who only eats wet food and sulks about everything -- but he's earned at least some of it, as he's clearly dealing with some major life upheavals. New city! New school! New friends! New house! New stepmom! New stepbrother! New and horrible things his teenage body is doing to him! So it's not surprising that he's clinging to what familiar comforts he has, even if it means being a total bitch about it.

And they become friends. That's the great part. This is a love story, but it's a love story where the love is friend-shaped. If anything, the friendship is the more important (and visible) aspect of the dynamic. It's not saying that one is more righteous or correct than the other -- it's saying that friendship is part of romantic love! Maybe it's even the best part of it! Maybe the only thing better than falling in love is making your crush your best friend and then falling in love with them.

It gets to the point where they spend most of their time not thinking about being in love with one another because they're such good friends. This is just what having a best friend is like, right?

(Jiang Tian knows it is not just what having a best friend is like. Jiang Tian is constantly chewing glass because he's sure friendship is the best he's going to get out of this, and also it's the best friendship he's ever had, and if that's all he gets -- and it will be, he's sure of it -- it'll be enough. It'll have to be.)

My favorite parts of their relationship are when Sheng Wang and Jiang Tian get to just enjoy spending time with one another as complete goobers. They're such teen boys! I mean, they're teen boys from very particular circumstances that have made them have to grow up fast, so it's great when they just get to regress around one another and act their age. The whole scene at the carnival is by itself worth the price of admission.

Look, here's some more shots of them being cute at one another. Don't let Jiang Tian's stoic face in the other pictures fool you. He's capable of making expressions, and it's so good when he does.

See?

3. This, too, is yuri

I mean, shit, you make a gay teacher and I'm already there. You make two gay teachers and I'm going to love you forever. Then you make them both gay teachers and gay owners of a little gay cafe? I don't know if my little trope-loving heart can take it!

Enter Zhao Xi and Lin Tingbei ("Benny").

From the moment you meet these two, it is obvious to you, the viewer, that they are a married couple. Except they're not. They're not married. They're not even a couple. It took me like nine episodes to realize that the reason they're acting so weird is not that they're trying to hide their relationship from other people, but that they're not in a relationship. They are mutually pining for one another and have no idea that the other one is having similar feelings.

Sorry, I have to go feral about these two sapphic-coded gay men for a moment: You two had an incredible meet-cute, went abroad at the same time, came back together, opened a cafe together, call one another "partner," have rainbow motifs on various visible objects in your life, AND YOU STILL ARE UNAWARE THAT YOU'RE BOTH IN LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER

I can't stress this enough: When you meet them, your first thought is, oh, you two are married. MARRIED. Not just dating, but comfortably wedded. I kept expecting one of them to have a gentle After-School Special moment he tells the children, no, we're life partners as well as business partners. But they didn't! And do you know why? It's because THEY DON'T EVEN SEEM TO KNOW THAT THE OTHER ONE IS ALSO GAY

The only thing that makes sense is that they're both male lesbians. This is some Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko! shit right here. How do you unknowingly wind up in what is basically a marriage with man you've never even kissed? I don't know, but they've somehow managed to do it. It's insane. It's incredible.

I don't even feel like I'm spoiling you for anything here! Like, I wish I'd known from the start they weren't actually together, because I was baffled by their side plot for fully three-quarters of the series. Why are they behaving like this? Why are you being weirdly jealous about the hot lady teacher? Oh, it's because YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE HUSBANDS, THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU HUSBANDS

WE GOT DOUBLE MUTUAL PINING HERE, FOLKS, DOUBLE MUTUAL PINING, TWO SUCCESSIVE GENERATIONS OF GAY DIPSHITS WHO ARE AS BAD AS YOU CAN BE ABOUT FEELINGS WITHOUT IMMEDIATELY DYING OF IT

Sorry about the caps lock, just ... I'll be over here screaming into a pillow about it, okay? Okay, thanks.

4. Actual Teen Feelings

So nobody in this production is an actual teenager; both leads were just on the underside of thirty when it filmed, and all the other "kids" are at least in their mid-twenties.

And honestly, I like the aged-up casting better, since ... look, I'm over forty, and I just don't find the youths as attractive as I did when I was much closer to that age. Seeing actual 16- and 17-year-olds do this would have given me the ick. So I feel kind of like, this is a teen story told for adults, and the way it does that is by giving you actors that embody how cool you thought your peers looked when you were that age, and not how gangly and awkward everyone actually looked.

I've described the behavior of the teen characters as "rationally irrational" -- like, you know that the decisions they're making are bad, and they kind of know it too, but you also get that they don't have the regulatory mechaisms to compensate for when their hormones tell them it's time to sulk, or or talk back, or lie, or do something reckless. They're stupid teens, but they're not stupid because the writing is stupid. They're stupid because the writing is good and knows exactly how stupid teens are.

And of course this is most visible with our boys, who are complete dipshits in some very rationally irrational ways.

I alluded earlier to the fact that I have stepsiblings, and that I acquired them during my teen years, so yeah, a lot of the complicated stepfamily dynamics hit hard for me. Sheng Wang's mother is dead, and he's being a sulky baby about it because he (kind of correctly!) feels like his dad both is trying to replace her and has started paying attention more to his new partner than to his son. Sure, an adult with more coping mechanisms would be able to handle it without being a dick to everyone around them. But he's not an adult -- but also he's not not an adult? He's in that awful place of adolescence where you feel all grown up, but people still keep making huge life decisions for you. I remember it; it sucks.

Meanwhile Jiang Tian's father is still alive, but that's complicated too and has led to Jiang Tian's being kind of estranged from both his divorced parents. His then becomes a story less about how to get along with your new stepfather, and more how to reconcile with a mother who wasn't always in a place to make the best decisions for you she could, as you are yourself approaching the age she was when she made those decisions.

It's just so many feelings! Just a giant fucked-up Sargasso Sea of feelings! Every nerve is raw and every emotion is like staring straight at the sun! So many characters are completely at the mercy of their worst instincts, to the point where you can't even be mad because, yeah, if I had no ability to tell my most visceral intrusive thoughts to go away, I'd be ruining my own life left and right too.

Also, you are not prepared for the parts with boners. I say no more.

bonus: LUCKY CAT!!!

When was the last time you saw a fat character in a piece of Asian media -- or a piece of any media -- who was just allowed to be fat in peace? Whose fatness was not the constant butt of jokes? Who was not depicted always (comedically) eating? Who wasn't thrown into the mix just so their sexual/romantic interest in some skinny person could be turned into gross-out moments?

Lucky Cat is the best. Her students call her Lucky Cat because she's always cheerful and she does a precious little paw thing. The name is meant to be endearing! They like her, and she's portrayed consistently as a good educator and generally nice person to be around. She's fashionable, too! She has the cutest little outfits!

And she's fat! It's just a thing about her not worth commenting upon! Shit, I wish the show's lack of commentary weren't worth my commenting upon, except, ugh, you know it is. It's even more so worth saying because I've seen her in something else where she was exactly what she isn't here, and it was vile. The contrast is incredible.

Love you, girl, one fat, overcaffeinated educator to another.

5. Delicious(ly timed) pining

I want to talk about the structure of the show for a moment, and I'm going to try and do it as spoiler-free as I can. Even so, this gets into territory that you might be better off going into blind, especially if you like the tension of not knowing where a love story is going. If you're convinced already that you need to watch this show, skip this section -- scroll right down to the picture of a pitcher and glass of lemon water on a kitchen counter.

Go on, now, get.

However, if you're still on the fence about watching it, though (or if you've seen it already and just like reading my thoughts on it!), here's a very slightly spoilery selling point for you:

Normally, BL shows are all about waiting for the moment those boys finally realize what's up and kiss one another. The On1y One makes what I think is a brilliant decision to frontload the kissing. These boys smooch twice all the way up in episode 2 -- but under circumstances that are, respectively, a dare and a faux-casual demonstration that the dare didn't mean anything.

And that's it. They don't kiss again.

I think this is such a good choice because it makes those boys spend the entire rest of the show with three thoughts in their heads: we have already kissed; it didn't mean anything to him; I think it might mean something to me. Their entire friendship is colored by the knowledge that, yeah, that happened. If anything, it makes the BL-style waiting even more glorious, because now it's not about wondering if I kissed him, what would he do? but about wondering if I kissed him again, would it still be a joke to him?

There's also some very good asymmetry in there, in how Jiang Tian is clearly already the world's greatest expert at stuffing his gay desires into a little box and not making them anyone else's problem, while Sheng Wang is having a sexual awakening in real time.

You figure out very near the end why Jiang Tian has a complicated relationship to his own gay longings, and boy, is it a hell of a reason. I know we joke about characters who are both gay and homophobic, and I don't want to call him homophobic, because that's not it. But you definitely get to see why, of all his locked-down feelings, he's locked the gay ones down hardest of all.

Meanwhile Sheng Wang is popular, has friends, has surely been on a number of cute and chaste little dates, has probably even kissed a couple very nice girls -- and has clearly never had a horny thought in his entire life before now. He is both falling in love and figuring out what makes him hard at the same time, and oh boy, that is some rough shit to hit at seventeen. You get to see him recontextualize those kisses several times, slowly putting names to the emotions he didn't know he was having. And when he does finally understand the extent of what he's feeling, he makes a stupid decision about it, because of course he does. He's seventeen. Stupid decisions come with the territory.

Anyway, once they finally get to fucking, Sheng Wang is going to be the lord high king of the bratty bottoms. Just an absolute menace. He's got Jiang Tian's number so hard, and Jiang Tian is going to love suffering through every minute of it.

~

Okay, did you scroll down? Here's a little more spoiler buffer! Hi! How are you doing today? I'm having fun writing this. I hope you'll like watching it. There, that should be enough.

caveat: This is not an ending.

I need to stress how much this is clearly made to be a part one of more, and also how a second season has not been announced and thus is not guaranteed. I am being optimistic based on a) how good it is, b) how much clout the director has, and c) the fact that it's so new, it makes sense that further installments might not be announced yet. But if an unfinished (and possibly never-finished) series bothers you, maybe put this one in your pocket for later.

But oh, this show needs a second season. I am burning incense to the television gods in hope that it gets a second season.

Want to tuck in for some actual good television?

This one is wonderfully easy to find. We watched it on GagaOOLala, but you can also find it on AppleTV, WeTV, Viki, and iQiyi.

Back to the Your Name Engraved Herein connection: The On1y One reads to me in many ways like a celebration of how far Taiwanese culture has come about gay people. Like, things still absolutely aren't perfect in 2012, when this show is set, but at the same time, it's no longer 1987 -- which was the homophobic, hopeless world Liu Kuang-Hui grew up in. If Your Name tells the story of what actually happened, this series tells the story of what the person that all happened to imagines things could be like today. It's so hopeful it makes me choke up a little thinking about it.

Bah, just go watch it. Do it! Go! There's links right up there!

Gay thoughts say peek-a-boo.

[weirdsht]

My Beautiful Stranger, My Soulmate - Cale/Fem! Reader

notes: for some reason i have a thing for continued love, maybe the reason why i'm single is because my soulmate is in another timeline/dimension /hj ... anyways this was the fic that i've wanted to write for the longest time but had no time for hehe

tags: female reader, novel spoilers (KRS' past and some war stuff), angst? not sure, continued love-esc, told in Cale's pov, one-sided admiration, strangers, Cale is whipped, mentions of abuse

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Everyone wants to have something constant in their life. Something that would keep them grounded. Something that would give them a sense of normalcy when everything else feels crazy. 

For most, a person will be their constant and their pillar. Choosing a loved one in their life that supports and cares for them. Just someone they can go through during the tough times in their life.

Kim Rok Soo’s case is the same… for the most part, that is.

The difference that sets him apart from the average person is the fact that his constant person is a stranger.

He knows what she looks like. Knows her mannerisms. Has seen her for almost his entire life.

Yet he doesn’t know her name. Doesn’t know what her speaking voice sounds like. Has never had a personal interaction with her. 

Is this considered to be a type of parasocial relationship? Maybe, but Rok Soo can’t be bothered to find out.

Kim Rok Soo’s first interaction with his constant was when he was a child. During the short while of his life where he was happy, complete. When his loving parents are still alive. That was the first time he saw her.

It was during daycare. The daycare is separated into morning and afternoon sessions. His parents had enrolled him for the morning sessions.

At first, he didn’t want to go. Even as a kid he had preferred the peace his house could offer compared to socializing with the outside world. But alas, it wasn’t like he had a choice, his parents had already enrolled him so he had to go. Plus either way, he has to attend school sooner or later.

That’s why he goes, albeit reluctantly. He participates in whatever antics the teachers/caretaker does even when all he wants to do is go back home. For him, daycare was extremely tiring.

However, all that tiredness was wiped away when dismissal arrived. And no, it wasn’t just because he was excited to see his parents and go back home.

It was actually because of the girl he saw. She was a cute kid, wearing a cute dress with her hair tied in those typical twin-tailed hairstyles girls her age would have. Rok Soo didn’t see her in daycare so she must be part of the afternoon session.

Since then, he looked forward to attending daycare just to catch a glimpse of her during dismissal.

Unfortunately, Kim Rok Soo’s life took a turn for the worse at such a young age. Tragedy had befallen upon him. His parents died and his uncle is a piece of shit that hits children. It was no surprise that he had forgotten about that pretty girl in daycare.

The universe seems to not want him to forget though.

Because then why else would he see her again in the playground he runs to whenever his uncle's house is too much? Why else she be there when they were far from the town where Rok Soo attended daycare?

‘It must be fate’

That’s what little Rok Soo thinks to himself as he watches her and her friends play on the monkey bars. He just watches them from inside the castle fortress thing that no one ever uses. The sand underneath him served as his cushion.

Sometimes he wants to join, he wants to befriend her too. But he isn’t really one for moving around, for playing such physically tiring games. Even if he was, his injuries from his beatings are stopping him from doing so. Hence why he was content with playing with the sand beneath his feet while watching her laugh as she tried to not get caught by her friend during a round of tag.

Despite what Rok Soo says, his constant isn’t as steady in his life as he wants her to be. There are long periods of his life where he wouldn’t see her.

Which was why he was internally overjoyed when he saw her not only taking the same bus as him but also going to the same library. They seem to have the same schedule, and the same free time allocated for reading books in the library. The library and the novels they held were already Rok Soo’s safe space, his constant’s presence only made it more heavenly.

Kim Rok Soo knows that his constant doesn’t know who he is. Even if he remembers seeing her almost every day, in her perspective he was just a random, faceless stranger.

However, sometimes there are incidents where he would think otherwise. Is he being delusional? Absolutely, but who would call him out? The voices in his head? His already used to blocking them out.

One incident was after the day she didn’t go to the library. Rok Soo was a bit concerned as this was the first time she skipped her usual library session. The next day after that, someone had left a canned drink on his desk. It’s the drink she usually buys from the vending machine. As a matter of fact, Rok Soo had never seen anyone else pick that drink except for her.

So sue him for being delusional, but that was definitely from his constant.

When the cataclysm started, Kim Rok Soo was sure he would never see her again.

But the universe had other plans.

No matter what happens, fate seems to be pulling them together. Intertwining their destinies.

Kim Rok Soo should be happy and should be overjoyed that he gets to see her.

However, he isn’t.

In fact, he wished he hadn’t seen her.

For maybe then he could’ve lived in ignorant bliss.

“Hurry and go! I’ll hold things down over here!”

Rok Soo’s constant commanded firmly. This is the first time he has heard her speak, and god does she sound heavenly. However, this isn’t the time for this. The eclipse is still happening, barrage after barrage of monsters is still coming after every shelter.

Still, he can’t help but admire her for a second. She’s so strong, so cool, so put together.

He just wishes she hadn’t been so selfless.

The skinny man couldn’t help but hold onto the hem of his clothes. Staring at her as if begging her to come with him using his eyes.

“I’ll be fine. You should go first, I’ll follow soon.”

Lies

Kim Rok Soo knows that she won’t be following them anytime soon. He is well-aware of the fact that after this the next time he would be reunited with her is in the afterlife.

That’s why he tries to convince her even though he knows he will ultimately fail.

Years passed after that and Kim Rok Soo never saw his constant again. How could he when she passed away? When she sacrificed herself for his sake and others.

Despite the accumulation of the time and people Rok Soo met, he never forgot her. He could never forget her. Sometimes he would just sit in silence, remembering how her voice sounded. Relishing the first and last words she spoke to him.

This did not change even after he became a team leader. As a matter of fact, the only change is that now he’s mourning for three people, instead of one.

His longing for her was strong. It did not disappear even after becoming Cale Henituse. He would still think of her despite turning over a new leaf, literally turning over a new life.

Cale longs to hold her again. This time not just the hem of her clothing but her hand. He wishes to have a proper conversation with her. Longs to ask her why she likes that canned drink that no one else drinks so much.

He longs to get to know her outside of the things he has observed. Wants to be the cause of her smile, and not merely watch others do it in his stead.

But alas, he couldn’t.

For not only is she dead, but his in another world.

Or at least that’s what he thought until he saw a familiar face standing up for him during the noble's meeting.

“Personally, I think we should just be grateful to Commander Cale Henituse. If it weren’t for him and his people then our kingdom would be in graver danger that we would not even be able to conduct such a meeting.”

She looked exactly how Cale remembered her. Her voice still has that same firmness in it, telling everyone in the room how she also wields power despite being younger than all of them.

“That’s correct young master. However, there are still some things that should be addressed. Such as that necromancer–”

“She has a name, it’s Mary. And she’s not a mere necromancer, she’s a revered hero of our kingdom. One of the people who had defended our kingdom from the Indomitable Alliance.”

Cale didn’t know he could fall deeper after all these years, but he just did.

“Due all respect my lady, but you are still young. I think your emotions are getting the best of you. Mind you that you are not even the heir of your household.”

The ugly noble tried to retaliate to which Cale’s constant only raised her eyebrows at.

“Oh my, how disgraceful… A noble pulling the age card just because his nearing his expiry age. Now forgive my disrespect, but you started it first… How dare you look down on me, the top 1% contributor to this Kingdom’s economy? I have built a name for myself outside of my family’s influence while all you have is your family’s standing. And emotional? Really? Of course, I’m emotional, the lives of our citizens are at stake and all you mongrels seem to care more about powerplay like the hungry bastards you all are. Is it because you’re not on the front lines? Is it because you think you can do what Commander Cale Henituse did? Then I dare you to do so at this very moment. Go to the frontlines and defend this kingdom you all claim to love very much!”

A deafening silence followed the young woman’s speech. Even Alberu had to take a double take. Everyone is tense, they don’t know what to say. Can’t refute what she said.

“I’m sorry for my outburst, Your Highness, Commander Cale. I simply cannot tolerate such disrespect when you are pulling most of the weight during these trying times. Please, let us proceed with our original agenda.”

Her poise never left her, even as she tore down every noble inside the room. Contrarily, the more she speaks, the more it looks as though she also possesses Dominating Aura.

At her insistence, the meeting got back on track. Most of the nobles were already silenced because of her, Alberu and Cale only had to deliver the finishing blow before wrapping everything up.

Once everything was done and settled Cale made plans to talk to his constant. Get to know her name, and finally interact with her. He knows that in her eyes his just a stranger. Someone who has no personal connections with her. But that doesn’t stop the redhead. He can always start forging their connection right here, right now.

He’ll do anything to not let her slip from his grasp once again.

And so the commander slithers his way towards where she is. He already had it all planned out; he’ll start the conversation by thanking her for standing up in Mary’s defence before asking for her name, and then he’ll let things flow naturally from there.

Despite running the simulations in his head, the only thing he could do once he was face to face with her was standing there. Face marred with shock and mouth unable to form words?

The cause?

Oh nothing much, it’s just because of her greeting.

“It’s nice to finally meet my beautiful stranger from Earth whose name I still don’t know. I’m [Name] [Lastname], may I know Commander Cale Henituse’s Earth name?”

[itsbeenmyhonor]

i saw an instagram post of this ballet couple and it's actually making me feral ????? i didn't know i needed a "riorgail as ballet dancers" fantasy but oh my god ?????? hold on tight y'all.

imagine:

empty studios with low lights, late at night. he's in nothing but tight shorts and she's in her leotard. the room is warm, always so warm. but they don't care and have been in there for ages, even after their hours of other rehearsals for the day. she's a soloist and he's a principal with the company and he has made it his personal mission to help her ascend the ranks since she was in the corps and he was a soloist because he truly believes in her talent. it doesn't matter how tired he is, he will always stays late with her to work on technique, partnering, whatever she wants, but only when she asks. he's always praising her and constantly finding any excuse to call her pretty through complementing how she moves. he's loves teaching her new skills and gets so excited the first time she nails them, which is usually faster than the average dancer because she's so dedicated. and his heart sings every time she says she can't wait to show him how much better one of them has gotten since last time he saw her do it. and she teaches him too, each of their little meetings is full of choreography she dreams up, trying it out with him to see what works and what doesn't. this is how they truly learn each other's minds, bodies, souls. what the art really means to them, what they mean to each other. it's no surprise that they dance their very best with each other because they have the most trust in one another. whether it's in front of an audience or just the two of them, they always have an electric chemistry, gibing each other everything in their performances, even when it's only for a mirror. AND THE MIRROR! don't even get me started! constantly staring. like always. warming up, class, rehearsals, their own little practice sessions. always. she's stabbed herself with a needle while sewing the ribbons onto her pointe shoes before because she got distracted when she caught his gaze in the mirror. and they always stand next to each other at barre. they usually get there early to stretch together and talk before class prevents them from doing so for a couple hours. and they're also usually struggling not to get distracted in said class but they can't imagine standing apart for that long. and when they're in different rehearsals throughout the day, they make up for it by spending hours with their hands on each other after. bare chest, open back leotard. hand in hand, to balance her or with her fingers wrapped around his to do a turn. quite literally throwing her around sometimes in various lifts. he's never dropped her. he refuses to. and sometimes they have moments while practicing their pas de deuxs where they'll abandon the choreography completely and just dance. something sacred in how it's unrehearsed and unhurried. two forms intertwining as one within whatever classical music envelops them that night. she somehow always ends up lifted into his arms. he slides her down his body and pulls her into the most soul-crushingly beautiful kiss. she often tries to rise up onto her toes to meet him and even though she's still shorter than he is, the angle is always just perfect. that part is very well rehearsed. and when it's done and they're breathless from the dancing or the utter lack there of, he'll help her untie the ribbons around her ankles and knead at her calves, kneeling between the straddle she makes with her legs to stretch as she digs her fingers into some place in his neck that feels divine every time. they press their sweat slicked foreheads together, just breathing, sometimes dotting balm onto each other to help their sore muscles. she always bundles both of them up in their layers so their muscles don't get cold on the way home and forces him to drink water on the way out because he forgets in his desire to make sure she's taken care of first. and they do it all again the next day. <3

[legitalicat]

Too Sweet - Modern!Aegon Targaryen ii x reader

AN: Hello my beautiful people! I hope you enjoy this story. It started as a little love note to the song "Too Sweet" by Hozier because I feel it's very Aegon coded. It then became kind of an amalgamation of a few different stories. My own story and journey with alcoholism and recovery played a big part in this, and as I wrote it parts of my feelings about my older brother, who is in active addiction, came into play. Please know that this is not everyone's story. Recovery from addiction looks different for most everyone. I truly overcame my addiction through building community and connections. I know many people who have to work a program to succeed. I know a person who actually did get a degree after a near lifetime of addiction and now he does a lot of things to help our local community in treating addiction. So really, this is a love letter to people like me and my brother. There is hope and I believe in every one of you.

Link to the TED Talk mentioned.

TW: blatant talks of alcoholism and substance abuse, talks of rehab, family issues, abusive family subtext yet never explicitly stated, gonna say it's kinda angsty, FLUFF

Pairings: Aegon Targaryen ii x reader

Word count: almost 3k

The soft pads of her feet made barely any noise as she walked into his bedroom, carrying a mug in each hand and wearing nothing but his MCR tee-shirt. Technically, they should both be in a deep sleep by now. It was fast approaching four in the morning and neither of them had bothered to close their eyes once. It was all he could to not hold her close in bed and stare at her captivating beauty.

When Aegon first saw her, weeks ago, he was stunned. It was the first time he had gone to the new bar right down the road from his apartment and it just so happened it was karaoke night. He had been tempted to turn around when he heard a horrendous rendition of his favorite Hozier song. But then she took the mic from her drunken friend, and it was as if the heavens parted and the gods showed him the future Mrs. Aegon Targaryen.

“Your coffee, sir,” she said to him as she handed him a mug. “No worries, it’s as black as your soul,” she added with a teasing grin.

“Thank you, beautiful,” he said as he took the mug from her.

She was truly a lesson in divinity for him. Aegon didn’t truly believe she was the most gorgeous woman on the planet. There would be people who would think she was average looks, maybe even less than that, but he didn’t need her to be more beautiful than anyone else. He wanted her exactly as she was. Beautiful like a spring day, teeming with beauty in the most natural of ways. Like one would think of a cherry blossom tree, or their favorite flower. Simple and breathtaking, a reminder of life and truth on a fundamental level.

He knew it the moment they locked eyes in that bar. Her voice shook from nerves as she sang in front of the crowd of strangers. When she looked at him, and he at her, he felt joyful for the first time in years. All of the stupid shit with his family, the years of drowning his sorrows in whiskey and wine and any other drug, none of it mattered.

If he were honest, he couldn’t remember how he got so lucky. He knew he approached her once she was done singing and complimented her. By the end of the night she was nestled beside him in bed, and he’d be damned if he ever let her leave.

“Gods, you’re amazing,” he muttered as he watched her. He knew she was drinking hot chocolate, finding the taste of coffee much too bitter.

“What was that?” she asked him when she pulled the mug away from her face. She had a bit of whipped cream on her upper lip, making his heart feel like it was on the brim of exploding.

He leaned forward, just barely, and lifted his hand to wipe the cream away with his thumb. She gave him a cute little smile when it brushed against her lips, puckering them to press a kiss to his skin. When he pulled his hand away and sucked the cream off, he heard her giggle.

“This is why you’re so sweet. Where most people drink whiskey and coffee, you put sugar in your sugar and drink it until the sun comes up,” he told her. Of course, he was teasing her.

“Because unlike you, Mr. Listen to Sad Music Even When I’m Happy, I like to enjoy things. The good things. The sweet things, like whipped cream and hot chocolate and fruit loops in bed on Saturday mornings. I just think I live a better life than you,” she told him. She was grinning from ear to ear.

If Aegon wasn’t so afraid of rejection, he would tell her how he loved her. He loved that she wanted to eat sweets at all times. He loved that she teased him for listening to My Chemical Romance or Asking Alexandria, calling it all sad music, even when she would listen right alongside him. He loved that she would start crying at the Wonka movie near the end, unashamed about feeling overwhelmed by the backstory.

If he weren’t so afraid she didn’t love him, he would tell her. He knew it had only been a few weeks, that all logic points to love at first sight being nothing more than him just getting turned on by her appearance. But how could he not love her when she sat in bed with him like this after making him a cup of coffee before the sun had even risen? How could one resist the gentleness of her touch when they watched TV together and she insisted on holding his hand? How could he be expected to watch her hyper fixate on a book or a video game, talking about it for hours on end with so much passion she always ended up wound up and breathless?

“You’re too sweet for me,” he told her as he laid back against the head board. He gently pulled her into his side, wanting to have her as close as humanly possible.

His words were met with an amused chuckle. She didn’t fight his hold on her, instead melting into him as though it was where she had always been.

“Tell me about your family,” she said quietly. “I mean, I’ve not been further than ten feet from you for weeks and you haven’t said the first word about them.”

He could feel his jaw clench as she asked him. His family was a complicated and sensitive subject. Even though he wished he never had to speak to her about them, he knew he had to if he had any hopes of them becoming more than just a passion fueled fling.

“Not much to really say. Dad ran Draconic Industries. My older sister, Rhaenyra, is my dad’s daughter with his first wife. He made her next in line to take over the business. Me, my younger siblings, even my mom, we never really mattered much to dear old dad. He died when I was nineteen. I don’t really matter much to any of the rest of them,” he told her, tracing shapes on her bare thigh as he spoke.

“I’m sure that’s not true,” she said quickly.

“It is,” he told her without any uncertainty. “Helaena, my younger sister, hasn’t spoken to me in a few years either. I haven’t spoke to my youngest brother Daeron since we were kids. And my brother Aemond…he was the last to hold out hope for me and I burned that to the ground a long time ago. I think it’s been at least a year. My mom completely disowned me about four years ago, when I was around twenty-two, cause I refused to go to rehab again.”

She frowned softly but said nothing. He could only imagine what was going through her head at this point. If roles were reversed, he would probably be planning his exit strategy. All it felt like he told her was a sob story about a poor rich kid who can’t live off mommy and daddy anymore. He felt pathetic.

“What did you go to rehab for?” she asked him.

“Started partying when I was like twelve. Alcoholic by age fourteen. Lead to worse shit, as it does, and I overdosed when I was eighteen on some coke. My mom and grandfather checked me into rehab the following week. Have done two more stints since. Never really stuck, and I haven’t been sober for more than a few days since I was like fifteen.”

He was laying in all our there for her. He wanted her to know so she could decide if she thought he was worth the trouble. He couldn’t blame her if she ran away from him. Why would she stick around? All of his family had washed their hands of him and they were family. She was just someone he met in a bar a few weeks before.

She stayed quiet for a long time. Longer than he would’ve liked. The silence weighed on his heart like an elephant pressing against his chest. He wanted to beg her to say something, anything, just so he knew where her head was at.

Though, he noticed, she didn’t move away from him. She stayed right there, comfortable tucked into his side, occasionally sipping her hot chocolate. His own mug, still filled with coffee, had gone near forgotten in his hand. He was too focused on her.

“You know, the opposite of addiction is connection. Watched a TED Talk one time about it. They found when addicts are treated like people instead of criminals, integrating them into society instead of isolating them, they show less of a struggle with addictions. Allow their basic needs to be met, give them a community, and they thrive,” she said softly after several moments.

She sat up, her warmth leaving him. He felt lonely without her touching him even though she was still well within arm’s reach. She was all he wanted, all he needed.

“I’m not saying I can fix you. I’m not saying the cure to all your problems is me giving my heart to you. I am, however, telling you that I haven’t once seen you drunk or high or anything and we basically haven’t been apart in weeks. If you want to develop healthy connections, create a community, be a person, I am more than willing to be part of it,” she said.

His heart started beating rapidly against his chest. He knew she was right. Since being with her, he hadn’t really felt the need for anything. He had physical cravings, sure, but no mental desire. Aegon didn’t want a moment with her to be a hazy memory that he may be able to recall when he's older.

“Why?” he asked her.

“Because I love you,” she said.

The weeks and months following that night, Aegon really put in the work. Y/N had made it clear to him that she was not going to just give him everything. If he wanted this, it was on him. She was only helping him.

Together, they had found a group therapy program for him. It was ran by a man who had gotten his psychology degree a few years before, but had struggled with addiction for most of his life. That was the first step, a step Aegon felt proud he had taken once he realized he didn’t feel so alone anymore.

The next step, he decided on by himself. The group program was all well and good, but he felt a need to find a deeper explanation into himself. Once a week he found himself sitting in a therapist’s office, talking about everything and nothing all at once. They spoke about his family, his self imposed isolation from them and how that lead to them cutting off, his hopes and dreams for the future.

Through this, he found out about opportunities for volunteer work in the community. He realized he quite liked working at the local secondhand store that helped people in need. He even brought her with him on the Saturdays he worked a shift, turning it into something they enjoyed together.

Even at work, he began reaching out more. If the opposite of addiction was connection, then by the gods he was going to make connections. His coworkers were enough to give him a good laugh. All of them were extremely proud of the progress he made, always encouraging him. He found that little bit alone made it easier for him to be more himself. In the conversations he was able to have with his coworkers, he talked about shows, movies, and music he liked and became friends with a few of them.

It was with this progress, along with the support Y/N provided, that Aegon found himself at the door of his family’s estate. He hadn’t been here in years. He knew all of his younger siblings still lived here. Helaena’s bright yellow VW Beetle sat parked in the driveway, Aemond’s motorcycle probably laid in parts in the garage, and Daeron had always been more content taking a town car than actually driving himself anywhere.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Y/N told him as she held his hand tightly. He had asked her to come with him so she could at least meet them. They needed to see how he had changed.

“I do have to. If for no other reason than to show them I’m not who they remember me to be,” he told her.

“Did you talk to Dr. Wilson about this? I mean, I just, I don’t want you to,” she said, trying desperately to find the right words. He silenced her with a kiss to her forehead.

“And I love you for it,” he said to her, holding her hand as tightly as she held his. “I’m okay with whatever happens in there.”

He knocked hard on the door. It wasn’t long before his mother answered. The ever looming presence of Alicent Hightower, never Targaryen, filled the entire space of the door frame. Her auburn curls were tied neatly back into a bun, her brown eyes widened in surprise.

The woman before him, despite being in her forties, showed no true signs of aging. There were no gray hairs scattered around her head, no fine lines or wrinkles. The only indication of a less than flawless appearance were the almost invisible lines that came from the outer corners of her eyes, put there by the fact that just like Aegon, her eyes would always squint up whenever she smiled.

“Aegon,” she said quietly. She looked at him like she saw a ghost.

“Hi, mom. Can we come in?” he asked her, biting his lip. Y/N gave his hand a small squeeze as if to remind him she was with him. He had her support every step of the way.

Alicent nodded silently and stepped to the side, allowing them entrance. The house was the same as the last time he was here. All of the old family photos hung on the walls of the hallway to the living room. The air smelled of cedar wood and spiced apples, giving it the perpetual scent of fall. It was warm and inviting, the plush couch so comfortable beneath him it was almost indicative of how much money his mother spent on it.

In a lot of ways, the house felt like his family. It was the epitome of warmth and love on first glance. When you looked closer, you could see how some of the picture frames were void of glass, having been broken in one family argument or another. There was a coat the hung on the same rack, day in and day out, hiding the hole where his head went through the wall in a drunken stupor. The paint on the walls were beginning to chip away, revealing the yellowing walls that proved how much his dad had liked to smoke. It was haunted, irreversibly scarred by the past.

A maid came around and asked the three of them if they wanted a drink. Alicent requested a glass of wine. Aegon noticed how surprised she looked when he just asked for a soda, like Y/N was having. He also noticed how she kept looking at his hand that held Y/N’s.

“And who is this?” She asked, nodding her head to Y/N.

“This is the woman I’m going to marry, Y/N,” he said confidently.

They hadn’t spoken about it, there wasn’t a ring on her finger. But he had no doubt in his mind that he would marry her. He was certain that she was who he was made for. The gods had her in mind when they designed him, knowing how much he would love her. She truly was his soulmate.

“And so you came to show her how terrible we all are?” she asked him, eyebrow raised. “Or did you come for money? Because you’re not getting a dime.”

“Neither,” he said firmly. “I just wanted you to see me, mom. I wanted to see you.”

She was surprised at his words. The last time he had spoken to her, he had been begging for money. Crying, begging. When she refused, trying to help him in the best way she knew how, he screamed at her about all of her faults. The last words he spoke to her was how he could only hope that he had the courage to kill himself before he turned into her.

“I’m sorry for…for everything,” he told her. “It wasn’t fair of me to blame everything on you.” Y/N squeezed his hand again. He looked down at their hands and he knew he was okay. He would be okay. “I’m like, eight months sober from everything. Not a drop of booze, no drugs. I have a full time job, I volunteer on the weekends at a secondhand store. I’m doing good, mom.”

Tears flooded to her eyes as she looked at him. Her oldest son, the first person she ever truly loved in a selfless manner. She had thought he was completely lost to her. The vicious creature he had been when they last saw each other had melted away entirely.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” she asked him. He could only wordlessly nod, allowing her the time to stand from her chair and walk over to him. She hugged him tighter than she ever had.

He looked over Alicent’s shoulder at Y/N. The woman he loved was watching him with tears of her own, a smile on his face. She was good, too good, for him. She had opened his eyes to a reality he had been scared to face. But she had never once made him face it alone.

And that made all the difference.

[bones4thecats]

Hi~ I hope you don't mind but can I request Malleus, Leona, Vil and Crewel with blue diamond in Steven universe I saw your last ask and I love it so much I was wondering if you could do the same thing with the twst version

Btw I love your writing and work keep up the good work and remember to take breaks and care for yourself have a good evening or day in life author 🥰🥰🥰😊😊😊

A/N: I haven’t written a Twisted Wonderland piece for so long, thank goodness people still remember I write for them😂. Thank you so much for the compliment, I try keeping my writing simple, but sometimes I get carried away, lol. You also have a good day/night, Anon!! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this~~

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🐉 Sharing a high position in both of your personal lives, you had met at a young age

🐉 He’s tall, around 6’6, and you being around 25ft-100ft definitely scares most, your kids are definitely gonna be tall

🐉 When he saw how caring and gentle you were, it made his heart skip multiple beats

🐉 Your a matriarch and he a technical patriarch, how ironic

🐉 He doesn’t like watching you cry, it’s just something he hates

🐉 Whenever someone’s around you, most likely Yuu and Grim, and they start crying when you feel guilty or sadder, he tells them the reason on why they’re sobbing

🐉 Speaking of Yuu, besties forever. If they can tame Malleus, then you and them relate with one thing

🐉 Shrinking down is something you must do often, and if it drains your magic, oh well, it’s worth it if you get to hug your friends and boyfriend

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🦁 Leona and you were fairly overlooked in favor for your older siblings

🦁 You for your oldest sister, White Diamond, and him for his older brother, Falena

🦁 When he first met you, it was during a meeting of world leaders, he sat in the other room while the main heads spoke

🦁 You sat down alongside Yellow Diamond and a young human, whom Yellow called ‘Pink Diamond’ and you liked calling ‘Steven’

🦁 Once you two got together, he hated how much taller you were than him, he hated feeling small

🦁 So whenever you shrink yourself to be 5’6-5’10, because you know he liked you shorter than him, even by an inch

🦁 Leona offers you smiles whenever you start feeling down, he may shed a few tears, but he can hold it back quite well

🦁 You and him have rough spots when it comes to your role in your family, but he can look over them most of the time

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

👑 Vil first met you because you were needed to find the authenticity in a few blue diamonds they were using in a film

👑 He looked at how tall you were outside and how you shrunk to the average height of 5’7, just a hint shorter than him standing at 6’0

👑 When you looked at his headpiece and examined the jewels and just barely glide your hands against his, his heart skipped

👑 Your beauty was immaculate, how did he not notice that?

👑 If you visited NRC for a duty, he would be one of the first people to shake your hand and give you a welcome

👑 You two got along fairly well, though his perfectionism gave you flashbacks of White Diamond’s standards

👑 He does like giving your diamond located on your chest a simple shine in the mornings, there is no use in having a diamond if you’re not keeping it clean

👑 He doesn’t mind the crying when he isn’t wearing makeup for a shoot, but when he is, he tries keeping you happy, not like he doesn’t to begin with!

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🐾 He and you met when you were children

🐾 You and him had certain standards that many struggled to make, but you were more flexible with the different people than him

🐾 As you both grew older and got your lives straightened out, you got married and started working in different fields

🐾 You led the Blue Diamond’s in your homeland while he taught at NRC, the college where he attended as a young teenager

🐾 You did enjoy visiting him, so seeing a 25ft-100ft woman outside shrink to around 5’8 was quite odd for the students, even if they had seen 5 overblots in the past month!

🐾 While Crewel was quite strict with the boys screwing around, you just chuckled at their antics and gave them pats on the head for their actions

🐾 Many cannot believe you’re together

🐾 He smiled as you sat on the floor, petting his two dalmatians with such love

🐾 Crewel, like Vil, doesn’t mind the crying, so long as it doesn’t stop him from finishing his work, but he keeps you happy most of the time with the help of your sisters, ‘Pink Diamond’, and his dogs, so!

[luffyvace]

Obanai x chubby gn reader!!

This won third place in the poll so here you go<3 enjoy kny/obanai stans!! I actually like obanai very much he’s one of my favs from kny i just don’t talk abt him often

also just for the record let’s say this is a au where obanai and mitsuri are close friends :)

In this you’ll be a hashira as well

I don’t think Obanai is one to judge

especially when he wears bandages since people do

if anything he’s worrying about his looks

so in this case it’s not that he dislikes it, it’s just that he saw through your physical appearance and went for personality

and if you have a crappy one?

well then he doesn’t know what draws him to you but somethin’ does!

he tolerates no disrespect from anyone.

like we all know how sharp tongued he is- 😜

and just because he’s one of the “weaker” hashira’s doesn’t mean he’s not one!

he is DEFINITELY above average and CAN do damage

so somebody would be a FOOL to see you with him and decide to screw around and find out

as well as you!!

your strong too!

and they’d better have respect for you!

getting one tapped by two hashiras don’t sound very fun to me..

🤷‍♀️

but yeah if someone is like drunk off they’re end and tries to insult or harass you?!

obanai steps in before you can even do something yourself

depending on the level of what they said or did,

he either flames them so bad they can’t recover

or straight up punches them

maybe even beating them up

who’s going to stop him? The police? 😂

he calls it self defense

tbh it was like, that person was harassing you????

🤨

bro thought he was gon let that slide

this why you can’t pull up on everybody 🤦‍♀️

anyway if your feeling sad bc of what someone says

obanai gets you a gift to make you feel better

He’s really thoughtful and pays attention/remembers everything you tell him you like

which makes perfect gifts for situations like these

ngl this is like idk the year 1500?? IDK BUT ITS THE TAISHO ERA SO THIS WAS A WHILE AGO

which means beauty standards were 📈📈

but for obanai? You ARE his beauty standard 😍😍

everyone should strive to look like our majestic (name)!!

as far as the hashira’s opinions☝️

they don’t mind at all and are completely nonjudgmental

gyomei can’t see so when y’all described how you look it doesn’t necessarily make a difference 😅 although, again he doesn’t mind :)

mitsuri is literally the love hashira she adores you just as much as obanai does <3

shinobu is more mature than to make fun of someone over they’re appearance

now tokito will either

1) be rude at first (the hashira’s have to set him straight)

2) won’t care

3) likes you from jump so he doesn’t mind

sanemi would never judge a women like that (if you know what he did for mitsuri and shinobu and they’re uniforms yk what I mean)

Giyuu is completely unfazed

Rengoku loves you all the same

now uzui…….bc of his standards and 3 wives….it can either go one of two ways

1) him and obanai are now mortal enemies and he keeps you away from him

2) he thinks your THICC and FINE 💖 (dis one better fr)

Ngl it’s even worse if a demon insults you

bc now he gets to KILL them

He goin all out too

who are they to talk anyway demons be the most horrendous looking BEASTS-

fluff time~ 💕💗💖♥︎♡

obanai loves to cuddle!

he’s shy but once you get sometime into the relationship he likes gentle and intimate affections such as cuddling, hugging & hand holding

he holds you in his arms before falling asleep

and he makes sure you sleep first

If you have a nightmare he’s on it!

he’s got water, blankets, comfort food…what else you need??

on it! 🏃💨

That’s literally him

he’s always prioritizing your comfort and happiness in your relationship ★

Get this to the obanai stans, tumblr!! Go go go!!

;3 - Brook

[sxeraphfic]

Donnie Darko x goth!reader 🙏🙏🙏

GOTH!READER X DONNIE DARKO    

WARNINGS; basically none! Slight swearing and bullying but that's it. 

WORDCOUNT: 1.5k

A/N: Gender neutral prns used in this for readers! I'm assuming by goth you mean trad goth (which fits the time era honestly) or maybe romantic goth (my style hehe lol) so I'll keep that as a reference.  Theres also a pov switch half way through. Hope it isn't too jarring!

˚ ‧ ₊ ♱ ༺ 𓆩 ❦︎ 𓆪 ༻ ♱ ₊ ‧ ˚

Donnie had never had a particular taste in people, really, he’d be surprised and feel lucky enough to have someone even glance over at him in a slightly romantic regard. Sure he had his ex-girlfriend Gretchen show interest in him but that didn't really assure him of how attractive he was, he could barely comprehend how others perceive him other than the obvious being that he's a little out of it. He liked all sorts of different styles of people, who was he to judge? It's not like he was particularly fashionable outside of the average late 80s young mens fashion.  

This statement wouldn't last long though, as he placed his backpack on the back of his chair and sat down he saw an unfamiliar person sitting at the front of his class alone from the others. The teacher smacked the chalkboard with her ruler to gain the class's attention, “Attention class! Good morning everyone”  she announced. “Today we have a student transferring from the other class to join ours” students began to whisper to each other, “Dear, why don't you come up here and introduce yourself?” she clearly had good intentions with asking this. But this is like.. The number one way to make a kid embarrassed, Donnie pondered to himself. 

The transfer stood up in front of the board “um.. hey.. my name y/n l/n,  i've moved from the class next door” -- “no wonder you had to move '' one of the kids called out jokingly, y/n sighed in an annoyed tone. Donnie stared at you, you were well.. Clearly alternative, goth? You were dressed in the normal school uniform but your hair, makeup, piercings made it obvious you weren't like the basic kid. He felt his insides twist a little, you were beautiful. You looked so mysterious and otherworldly compared to the other students and he was enamoured by your appearance. 

Apparently some of the less emotionally intelligent people in our class didn't see that though, not even ten minutes after finishing your introduction and sitting back down you had some kids throw paper balls at you from across the classroom. And as the average lame ass teacher does she ignored your clear bullying situation. Donnie wanted to say something, but bit his tongue. Glancing at you pitfully only to be met with a glare in return, ‘oh god, did i make them feel even worse?’ He worried to himself. ‘Of course I did. God, I'm bad at being chill.‘

A few hours after school, as the dark began to dawn upon the sky donnie found himself lying on his bed daydreaming of you, what type of music could you be into? Surely Dark wave or post punk right? Did you dress even more extreme outside of school? Were you secretly kind and sweet underneath your intimidating appearance? Were your lips as soft as they seemed? Donnie snapped out of it, what was he thinking… he felt kind of creepy daydreaming about someone he's never even spoken to before. Ever since he had gotten home he'd been more zombie-like than usual, his parents even asked him at the dinner table if he had been taking his meds and he scoffed, for once that wasn't the issue. The issue was he had fallen in love at first sight. 

Morning came around, Donnie walked with his doofhead friends aside his sister and her little group. “Donnieee” Samantha groaned “we’re all gonna be late for the bus we took too long!” Donnie and his friends shrugged and Samantha retorted “well my friends and i aren't gonna miss the bus. Have fun slow pokes” she said as she signalled her friends to start running up to the bus stop.  

Samantha for once in her miniature life span was right, Donnie and his friends did in fact take too long. Now they had to walk all the way to school and be late. This wasn't all bad though, as the one and only y/n pushed between them to get through clearly having also missed the bus as well. He could hear your music practically blasting through your walkman, funny. Wasn't that a metalhead thing to do? Donnies friends began to snicker to themselves “what a loser” they whispered in reference to you. Donnie gave them an annoyed glare, before speeding up to walk next to you and speak. 

 “Uh.. hey uh-” he began, you looked at him in confusion, taking your headphones off. 

“What?” you said bluntly, internally you were nervous, you'd already gotten the shit bullied out of you yesterday. You don't need another total dweeb ruining your day before you even manage to get in the school gates.  “I'm uh.. Donnie Darko, I figured I'd say hi since we’re in the same class now right?” he smiled awkwardly and attempted to shake your hand. You gave him a wonky smile back, “oh uh.. hey nice to meet you Donnie.” The handshake failed miserably, you tried to shake his hand but took too long to process the action.  

 What the fuck am i doing? Donnie thought to himself, he was incredibly nervous. The two of you had been walking in essentially complete silence for 5 minutes now, Donnie felt like an idiot for assuming someone as cool as you would be interested in talking to him, he gave you a slight glance and you returned it back

Sighing, you figured that indulging in a little conversation wouldn't kill you. Besides, if he came up to you in the first place and has stuck around walking with you for this long without saying anything outlandish surely he wasn't all bad.

“Sooo.. Darko huh? Kind of a cool last name isn't it?” you initiated. “You think it's cool? I swear people just make fun of me or think it's weird” he looked at you with giddiness in his eyes and smiled, ‘oh. He's cute.’ you thought to yourself.�� “So is there a particular reason you've decided to be nice to me Donnie?” he shrugged nervously “Oh well- i mean i don't know, i'm not exactly popular myself so i guess i understand how it feels to be judged” you thinly smiled in response before you began to hear high pitched exaggerating moaning noises from behind you, Donnie’s friends were acting up. “Ugh fuck im sorry about them.” Donnie groaned, “it's chill, i've dealt with worse” you shrugged, before continuing “ever jigged school before Donnie?” he raised his brow at you “sure have y/n.” you giggled “let's ditch these losers i know a spot.” 

You lead him down an old path through the forest before sitting at what looked like some sort of strange concrete circle on the ground. “Jesus y/n how’d you even manage to find this place?” he voiced in shock “Someone who looks like me has their ways,” you smirked. “Y'know y/n i may end up regretting this, i actually have some major sleepwalking issues. I'd hate to wake up down here at 6am” he chuckled softly before sitting on the ground with you. “Sleepwalking? At this age too? Why's that?” Donnie smiled looking down to the ground “oh well uh.. We all got our own problems right?” “amen to that donnie.” you started to soften up, he seemed genuine. 

“Hey, sorry about glaring at you the other day. And being kind of rude when you tried to speak to me earlier” his eyes stared into yours “it's fine y/n, and understandable.. You have all sorts of people targeting you at the moment id be no different at first sight” he continued “i mean, with the way you look and all. You don't seem to care to live up to others expectations of what you should be, you're more free than m-majority of the people in our school will e-ever be. I'm uh envious really.” he started off saying this quite assertively, but his words tangled in soft stutters at the end as the intensity of your gaze made him recoil into himself. “Wow Donnie, I didn't expect that many words to come out of your mouth.. Let alone be so true..” “It feels good to have someone who gets it for once.” you warmly smiled. 

“Do you listen to music, Donnie?” you inquired “you mean do i listen to your type of music?” he snickered, you rolled your eyes in response “duh.” He thought about it for a second “well yeah i guess technically, nothing super niche but i like new wave.” you nodded your head “we should uh.. Y'know hangout sometime and listen together, i could introduce you to some stuff " Donnie perked up "in a going together type of way?” you gave him a confused look. “Ah sorry i meant to say going out ugh” he looked flustered and you giggled, before standing up and proceeding to pull him with you. You embraced him, gazing into his eyes beginning to lean in closer to his face. 

Hehe cliff hanger. Maybe you guys kissed, maybe you pushed him away and called him a weirdo! Who knows, hope you enjoyed my lovelies 

partially proof read. will check for mistakes.

[withwritersblock]

Dog Days Are Over

~Dog Days Are Over by Florence + the Machine~

Author's Note: saw @kaleforcale888 say something about how he'd react after the game. I could write a thousand different versions but this feels SO Cale coded to me. Summary: Cale scores his first hat trick Warnings: mentions of bo byram being traded lol Word Count: 1,250 Cale Makar x fm!reader

For the past few games, Cale has struggled with his confidence. His entire career, he’s been seen as a superstar. Suddenly, for the first time in his professional career he hasn’t had a great game. He’s had several average games, not up to his personal level of where he needs to be. People were starting to think he was nursing an injury because of how he was playing. He was frustrated and disappointed in himself for how he was playing.

Sure, he got rid of his pointless streak but they were only secondary assists. He wanted more, he needed more. He wanted to contribute to the team and build back his own confidence. 

He left his house, stoked for the game giving Y/N a thousand kisses before he left the house. He wore a new suit, for a new Cale. Or rather Vintage Cale. It was a suit that Y/N picked out and he gladly wore it. If he plays well with it, he’ll happily add it to his rotation.

It was a beautiful ceremony before the game with the celebration of Darren Helm. The ceremonial puck drop with Nathan Mackinnon and JT Compher brought tears to her eyes. 

“Cale’s flying,” Gabe muttered to Y/N as he leaned his arms against the small table. For the night, Gabe was sitting with the wives and girlfriends of the players. His wife and kids were also in the suit hanging out. 

Not long after the Red Wings get on the board, Cale wrists one to the net and scores. The suit erupts into cheers.

“He’s back,” Gabe mumbled before he wandered towards his wife in the center of the suit. Y/N smiled to herself as she watched him skate towards the bench. A simply group celebration is all it took and he was back in the zone. He was pumped and ready to win.

The second period started and for the first nine minutes of the game it was back and forth but the boys were playing well and something was going to happen. Artturi scored to give the boys their first lead of the game. 

This was the best game she’s seen them play in a long time. It was the best game she’s seen Cale play in a long time.

With only three and half minutes left in the period, Cale fought hard around the net and scored another goal. “Oh my god,” Y/N muttered as her mouth fell open as she watched him smile for the first time during a celebration. She leaned her body against the table as she smiled and felt a bit of tears filling her eyes. “He’s back,” she mumbled to herself, knowing that he was finally back to who he sees himself to be. He was confident. He was Cale Makar.

They were up by two and on the powerplay. She intently watched Cale pass the puck to Mikko and see him wait for the pucks return. Mikko sends it back as Cale holds for a few seconds before letting it rip towards the net. It was as if the puck went into the net in slow motion. She jumped up and cheered. At first she thought it was Artturi’s goal since he was near the net but hats starting flying onto the ice as Ball Arena was louder than it’s been in a long time.

“Was that Cale?” she found herself asking as her chest ached.

Gabe nodded with a huge smile on his face. She stared towards the ice as the hats continued to rain down and the jumbotron showed Cale smiling widely and talking with Mikko as they skated around the ice waiting for the hats to be collected. Her heart filled with so much admiration and joy as she watched him celebrate. Even if it was just a smile, it was more than he’s done in the past.

~~~

The boys ended up winning 7-2 and she was anxiously waiting outside the locker room for Cale to exit. It was a nightly routine for Cale to be the last one to emerge from the locker room but tonight was vastly different as he had more interviews and some social media obligations. 

She couldn’t wait to see him and was getting anxious as Nate walked out of the locker room wearing his warm up attire. He beamed towards Y/N, “He’s almost done,” he let out as he walked towards her giving her a hug. She gladly accepted it, “I knew he’d pull himself out of it,” he mumbled against her hair. He pulled away before he continued his walk out of the arena. 

After a few more anxious minutes, Cale emerged wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. She smiled when she saw him and quickly jogged towards him. He chuckled nervously as she wrapped her arms around her neck. He gladly wrapped his arms around her waist as he lifted her up into the air excitedly.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered into his ear. His cheeks were bright red as she pulled away, keeping her arms rested on his shoulders as his hands stayed looped around her waist. 

“The boys played really well,” he let out with his lips curled upward. She rolled her eyes playfully as she took a hold of his cheeks. 

“Stop being humble,” she muttered before she kissed him. He returned the kiss with urgency as he pulled her towards him. She pulled away, keeping her lips a mere inch away from his. “Be proud of yourself,” she let out before she kissed him again. 

“I guess it was pretty cool,” he mumbled as he pulled away, a toothy grin on his face. 

“You guess?” she teased as she ran her fingers through his hair. “It was incredible.” she let out.

His smile widened, the longer he looked into her eyes. He was trying to contain his excitement. “Yeah,” he mumbled, pressing his lips together. He pulled her against his chest again as he rocked her body back and forth. “It was a little unbelievable,” he muttered against her hair. He reluctantly released her from his grasp as they began walking towards the parking garage together.

“Comph came up to me after the game and gave me a hug,” he let out as they walked side by side, their hands interlocked. 

Her lips fell into a pout as it had been a difficult day filled with so many complex emotions. JT’s first game back at Ball Arena, Darren Helm ceremony, and Bo was traded away a few days prior. It was a bittersweet feeling.

“You’ve been overdue for a while now, Darling,” she mumbled as she knocked into him slightly. She began walking faster as she began dragging him towards their car, “We’ve got celebrating to do,” she mumbled. He raised his eyebrows, a shy smile forming to his lips. 

“Oh yeah?” he asked teasingly. She hummed as she pursed her lips forward.

His phone began to ring in his pocket and he pulled it out to see Bo was calling him. Cale smiled widely as he brought the phone to his ear.

“Caler congrats, man!” she heard Bo shout through the phone, she shook her head slightly a small chuckle leaving her lips. 

“Thank you,” he chuckled, “Have you met any of the guys over there yet?” Cale asked.

She rolled her eyes playfully. Cale always puts someone else first even on one of the best nights of his career.

[aayakashii]

Wrote this after getting inspired by Bluecid, by Sevdaliza, which I 100% recommend listening to because it's a beautiful song!

If you've seen this earlier today no you didn't

bluecid

Warning: angst, sh implied, hurt/no comfort, reader is not PC

The white doors stood tall and open on that rainy night – an invitation to the ballroom where the Frostheim crest hung from every pillar, in dark blue velvet embroidered with white gold thread.

You stepped into the wide hall; the sound of chatter and glasses clinking filled the ambient as a timid orchestra played classical music, tucked away to the side of the long stairway at the other side of the room.

It all looked like it had come out of a fairytale. Unimaginable riches were displayed onto wrists and ears and necks and clothes weaved with the finest cloths and threads.

You exhaled slowly, trying to calm yourself down. Walking to the sides of the ballroom, away from any prying eyes, you tried to be as invisible as possible – you knew how much the average Frostheim student absolutely loved their petty gossip.

As a second year, you had already been the target of some talk, due to your sticking out like a sore thumb among the rich students – you were just a commoner after all. Someone who had wasted all their luck with a scholarship to Darkwick. 

After a while, however, they silenced – apparently it’s not fun to pick on someone that doesn't react at all.

You grabbed a small glass of champagne and leaned against one of the huge pillars that stood tall and proud all around the ballroom. On the other side of the room were the second year ghouls, and you felt your heart squeeze tightly.

Last year wasn't a good year. 

The Clash ruined the lives of countless students and you realized that being alone during a time of crisis simply cannot do. You needed support, you needed someone to lean onto. So, once you moved into the second year, you had convinced yourself to talk to the other outcast of your dorm – Fuji Kaito. 

It was, maybe, an underhanded method of making an actual friend. But you promised yourself that, if he ever gave you the opening, despite your less than stellar reason to befriend him, you'd do your best to be a great friend for him, no matter what.

However, the opening never came.

Your eyelids drooped as you saw the one person that rendered your plan a failure: the honor student.

You didn't hate them, no. In fact, you felt for them, deeply. Being thrusted into a world that was unknown to them and having to deal with the most difficult students of the Academy… It was something you'd never want to face and you wish they could be safe throughout this mess.

Yet, you couldn't help but feel a little bitter once they became Kaito's full center of attention. There was simply no opening for you to try and join in their conversations, ever. Too many secrets, too many shared dangers and too many inside jokes.

You would get some good mornings and good afternoons from them, from Kaito and from the transfer student, Lucas. And it was obvious they did appreciate you not treating them differently due to their condition as ghouls, but it wasn't enough.

You were never enough for anyone in that place. Not rich enough, not important enough, not right enough to have your existence acknowledged.

If there was one thing that made you truly bitter when it came to the honor student, however, was the one thing you've always dreamed of when you were lying on your bed, shivering when not even 3 blankets could shield you from the perennial cold of the dorm.

A loud bang echoed in the ballroom and the sound of chatter silenced. You turned your eyes to the stairway and watched as Ishibashi Tohma descended the steps gracefully, throwing out his arms with a flourish as his booming voice reached everyone to announce something unbelievable – something unthinkable after all these months.

Your heart drummed loudly against your ribcage and your mouth went dry as someone else descended the steps, right after Tohma's dramatic cue.

There he was, after so long. Frostheim's king.

Your king.

You felt dizzy, not quite sure whether it came from the third glass of champagne, or from the sight of the most ethereal man finally showing himself after months of enclosure, and how it still took your breath away after all that time.

“Kamurai Jin” you mouthed his name at the same time Tohma loudly announced the house’s Captain.

The beautiful icy-blue haired man kept walking down the stairs, a regal look upon his face as he downed the House's formal uniform and the students received him with hesitant applause.

His sword glinted dangerously on his hip, like a sharp jewelry he used to attest his superior ranking among everyone in that room.

You observed how he quickly patted his pocket, feeling how his loyal cigarette case was tucked safely. Your eyes twitched as you realized how you still managed to catch every single movement and habit he had always displayed in public, even after all those months you hadn't even caught a glimpse of him.

He was still as handsome as ever.

And you still hated him as much as ever.

Jin was the personification of everything you weren’t and could never be. He was gorgeous, filthy rich, admired, feared, extremely powerful and, oh the list could go on endlessly.

You hated him for everything he represented.

And you hated how you still couldn't shake off that sick one-sided love you had for him ever since you laid eyes upon his figure.

You chuckled darkly to yourself, your lips touching the champagne glass to hide the bitter smile.

Of course it wasn't enough for you to be excluded amongst your peers due to your social standing, of course the isolation wasn't enough. You just had to lock yourself into a cycle of pining for someone you could never ever have.

It was almost a habit of yours, honestly. Maybe you were slightly self-destructive, but every single romantic interest of yours has been doomed to nothing. 

During your teenage years, you fantasized about how it made you feel like a tragic heroine who was just waiting for the Right Person to sweep you off your feet.

As you got older, however, you realized that maybe you just needed therapy to get out of that cycle.

Falling for a king, however? That was on a whole new level of self-harm.

Gripping the glass tightly, you began to walk away after Jin and the honor student began waltzing on the ballroom floor, as the other students gasped and watched them, entranced by how charming (and unthinkable) it was to see their ghoulish king dance with that clumsy little lost human.

Just like in a fairytale.

While you seeked refuge in one of the isolated balconies that went by unnoticed by most students, the back of your eyes began to hurt and you felt tears well up.

What was wrong with you?

How could you possibly allow yourself to feel so deeply for someone so out of your reach?

How could you let yourself make such a mess of yourself, when the person you pined for didn't even know you existed?

You threw yourself against the railing of a small balcony, just a few feet over the snowy field that surrounded Frostheim's castle.

To your right, you could see the other balconies, higher above, and you scoffed – even the refuge you unconsciously chose seemed to be in lower places.

The rain was merely a drizzle, and for a second you wonder if that was an unnatural occurrence, since you only ever saw snowy weather in that cold place.

Maybe nature took a little pity on you and decided to be empathetic. Maybe it saw how your loneliness was maddening.

You reached out your hand, a few drops falling on your palm like little needles piercing your skin, and you breathed deeply, feeling the crisp scent of petrichor invade your lungs. It felt good to feel something that wasn't related to your godawful emotions, you thought.

Letting both of your palms welcome the piercing drizzle, you focused on the water freezing your skin painfully. Chasing a new pain to take the old pain away was a dangerous, dangerous move – you knew. But, for that moment, you just wanted to escape from that dull ache on your chest.

You let your head fall back, and your eyes snapped towards two figures above, on the balcony to your right.

Tohma motioned towards a cigarette stick and leaned forward, towards him, towards Jin, lighting its end with the end of Jin's own cigarette – a kiss shared between those awful cancer sticks.

You saw the smoke billow out of the mouths of both men, and you felt a sick rage bubble in your core.

How did he manage to always be around to threaten your sanity like that when he didn't even know of you?

How could your pitiful and stupid heart beat faster for someone that was oceans of distance away from you?

You would never be useful like the honor student, you would never be trustworthy like Tohma, you would never be a friend, nor a foe.

You would never exist in his eyes.

So why? Why did you still harbor that rotten love for him?

Why couldn't you just turn your obsession into actual hate for once?

Because you knew that, as long as you still thought of him when you laid down on your bed, you couldn't possibly hate him. At least not truly.

Trapped inside of the turmoil of your own heart, you leaned forward, onto the railing of the balcony and let the gentle rain hit the back of your head and slowly soak the back of your clothes.

A cruel thought lit up in your mind like a sad and old incandescent lamp that you refused to turn on too often, in fear it could explode and its shards could cut you deeply.

It seems you truly could only ever be loved in your dreams.

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