#especially neurodivergent people and friends!

[wolvertooth]

i feel like a lotta my posts come across as being like 'sabretooth is a pure sweet lil angel😇' nah this guys a HUGE cunt hes just. yknow. also multifaceted. he can be sweet n caring when needed, or when actually given the chance to

the way i choose to sorta incorporate the fucked up logic of 'canon' is just seeing him as going thru different phases, like any of us would(especially those of us with mental illness)

hes had good times, hes had bad times, hes had times of therapy, hes had times where the urges get painfully uncontrollable, hes had times where he just zones out at work, hes had times of having friends, hes had times where hes fucked off from society entirely, etc etc

like. imagine how hard itd be to be stuck in ur mid / late 30s for eternity with incredibly unresolved childhood ptsd + trigger happy anger issues + a mutation thats basically on par with being neurodivergent + majority of the people hes gotten close with either betraying him or dying. not to play the Poor Little Meow Meow card but..i think theres a reason that weapon xforce was the best thing that ever happened for his mental health(being on a team of mutual cunts proving themselves to be more than just that)

[encyclopediamorbidica]

Being a hundred percent deadass with you, it's the whiteness. White people like Patricia lean hard on whatever marginalization they face to "make up" for their proximity to whiteness and make themselves appear more harmless than they actually are. For Patty, that's being neurodivergent and transfemme because, rightfully so, people who consider themselves to be good are more likely to rally around protecting a neurodivergent trans woman in order to feel like they're doing something good for their community or being an ally. Her position as a white woman who's mentally ill makes her sound a lot more in need of protecting than the "theoretical" children she abused and the people of colour who are calling her out for it, especially to white people who have never had to do the work to deconstruct why they consider white femininity so sacred in the first place. It's the ol' "I can't be racist, I have black friends" gambit cut to fit her particular brand of deflection.

I can't be an abusive predatory ableist queerphobe, I'm a neurodivergent trans woman who survived being preyed on and abused! Don't look at the rates at which survivors of abuse of all kinds perpetuate abuse themselves, there's no such thing as cycles! Didn't you know that in order to do harm you have to identify as harmful? That's why if someone says they're not racist you should always believe them even if they speak over people of colour and make fun of people's accents and get frustrated when someone who's an ESL speaker takes a long time to explain something and talk about "property value" going down because of all the brown people who are moving in.

The fact that she says it's queer to grow up abused makes me so fucking angry because it throws out essentially decades and decades of activism, of us screaming "No! We aren't broken! We aren't gay and trans because we were hurt as children!" The idea that queer people are queer because we're abused is a notorious conservative talking point. And she just wants to throw us under the bus to justify her own bullshit. Makes me SO mad.

Like I genuinely don't think she didn't know that was what she was doing. She says such deeply inflammatory shit wrapped in progressive buzzwords and people just fucking lap it up because she made a song they liked and just decided to swear fealty to her no matter what.

Like she implied in that same post that it's also a sign of autism to be so fucked up fundamentally by abuse when like.... That's not fucking true either. That's actually some of the most ableist shit I have ever heard in my life, and she just fucking got away with it because people like to believe she's the Sole Arbiter of Autistic Experience. Genuinely, when you don't have any skin in the game about justifying your enjoyment of her art against the clear and obvious signs that she is a deeply flawed and predatory person, it just becomes fucking baffling to watch her get away with the shit she says and does. Power just inherently corrupts, apparently, although I highly doubt it's just the constant bootlicking from her followers that made her so completely mask-off about flaunting her predatory thoughts and actions.

[thatoneluckybee]

Noticed a strange trend and wanting to test something…

Feel free to reblog for sample size—and feel free to explain further in tags, text reblogs, and replies if you vote! Also please say whether you found it helpful or not (if you read it) if you want; personally, I never do. Just curious about a trend.

(ALSO feel free to tag with any type of neurodivergence or tag or whatever! I cannot reasonably think of every tag or way to be neurodivergent so feel free to help with your tagging! And if a single one of you is ableist towards any form of neurodivergence on this post I will joyously smite you into the sun.)

[kiisuuumii]

to every woman and to every trans, queer, bipoc, and/or disabled person, i am holding your hand so tightly right now

[ouroboroscully]

being autistic is only having the spoons to try to make friends mmmm once every 5 years or so and then rinsing and repeating until you die

[ahalliance]

never in my life could i play a game like outer wilds live on stream with how fucking insane the chat gets when you don’t understand something in 1 second

[dwtdog]

i think its so fucking unfair how dream tries so hard for his friendships to not end over stupid shit bc he very openly shows he cares so much for them, and then there's them who dont give a shit ab anything and throw friendships like they never even cared in the first place holy fuck it makes me feel genuinely so bad for dream i need to give him infinite hugs and a million good friends that treat him with love and care

i think dream is the type of guy who likes to have a big mix of super close and more distant friends, but he feels very loyal to all of them- like he’s talked before about having friends he only talks to every few months, but he still sends them sweet thanksgiving messages and what not. a lot of people are very different- they only like to have a few close friends, or they have lots of looser friendships that they treat more like acquaintances, which is the disconnect that happens a lot between dream and his friends if i had to guess 😞

[essektheylyss]

Safety tools for games are very well and good and if you and your group need them you should absolutely use them, but sometimes the way people talk about them feels like they are using those tools as a straight-up substitute for, like, working to develop interpersonal skills and the capacity for talking openly with friends.

[bipunkharrington]

My friends keep recommending Hazbin Hotel to me and I don't have the energy to get into how the creator hates trans men/enbies and how as a transmasc enby I just... don't wanna watch it.

For now I'm just blaming it on being busy 😅😂

[ooc-miqojak]

People love to say they support neurodivergent people - but I've found that this is lip service, more often or not, because it requires a lot of patience - and the ability not to assume the worst about a person (especially in a digital space). Every ND person is unique, and has their quirks! But in an online space, I've found that people just tend to assume the worst about you, and kick you/block you/ghost you for your behavior or words, instead of taking the time to have an emotionally mature talk about what happened, and explain why this thing that happened/thing that was said was upsetting or problematic - you're never given the opportunity to explain that you meant no harm. Many of these people, in my case, I've spoken to at length when I was getting to know them about how important communication is - if I've said or done something upsetting, I can't read your mind! I have to know, before I can amend things, and adjust my behavior.

Sometimes I'm oblivious to what I've said/done, because my 'normal' is different. For instance, I love to debate - not argue - but debate. It's interesting to see others' POV! Variety is the spice of life after all, and if we all had the same beliefs and outlooks, that would be boring! But for some reason, most people seem to see a debate as an emotional argument? It's as though you can't disagree - not even respectfully - without people assuming you're angry or mad or attacking them. I don't understand people who get intensely emotionally invested in these debates (when they're not about typical hot button topics, as I don't do religious/political debates) - to me it's like a football player claiming someone on the opposing team was legitimately attacking them, not tackling them as a normal part of the game.

But I also don't engage in 'sub-text' as many neurotypicals do, either - to me, it's not only a waste of time, but a quick way to end up tangled in miscommunication. I say what I mean, and I tell people this... and they'll still apply some hidden meaning to it that is entirely fabricated... then get angry at me for sub-text that isn't really there. (When I was reprimanded in an online space earlier this year, I kept asking what I did wrong... and got told that I was arguing by asking what I was being scolded for/why I was being condescended to.)

ADHD people are regularly called 'passionate' - so much so that I almost want to roll my eyes when I hear it, now... but it remains a decent word to explain, for neurotypical people, our seemingly 'over the top' behaviors - be they positive or negative. And I've had people online assume I'm mad, or attacking them... when I'm just excited... or "passionate." Emotional dysregulation can be hell - some compare it to a car with no brakes. Normal people apply the brakes before the words come out - ADHDers lack those brakes. It means I try to be hyper aware, instead, and apply the Fred Flinstone brakes. I don't always catch myself, either - and in-person/on voice chat, this can result in things that seem rude - like interrupting others; but this isn't meant to be rude, and I don't realize I've done it! I'm excitable, and with the way ADHD works, I feel as though I have to get this comment out before I forget it! If I have to hold onto this thought, I'll either forget it, or spend the entire time the other person is talking trying to hold onto that thought, and miss what's said. But other people just tend to assume I'm being rude by interrupting - so I told a friend I upset this way that he's allowed to notify me in some manner when I've done this - because I don't want to be rude! I don't want to steamroll a conversation - and sometimes I need a gentle reminder that I've done so. I often jokingly compare myself to a jumpy golden retriever - I love people! But no one really wants a big dog jumping all over them, even if the dog means well - sometimes you have to say 'down', and the dog will stop jumping! They just forgot not to do this unwanted behavior because they were so excited!

Emotional dysregulation to me is like my emotions are a volume dial on a radio that was cranked way too high, and the dial broke off. The volume is permanently too loud - which is great when I'm happy, and devastating when I'm sad. But I don't get to turn them down, either way - the volume is stuck at max.

So yeah, sometimes people online need a little grace - a little patience, and for others not to jump to the worst possible assumption. Your normal isn't the same as everyone else's normal, and you might have to take extra time to understand where someone is coming from, and what they meant. Sometimes you might need to explain something that seems obvious to you, but it isn't to someone else. Sometimes that 'rude' thing that happened wasn't at all intended to be upsetting/rude, and talking to the person who said/did that thing can clear the air, and they can apologize and note that this is something they should not do or say, or that they should be more aware of.

Sometimes, the dog is just jumpy and excitable - not aggressive.

[wachi-delectrico]

Gonna get spicy for a second and say that everyone loves spewing hate about narcissistic (NPD) parents and how awful parents with personality disorders are, but if someone were to make a post with the exact same cadence about ADHD parents they'd get shot in public at first sight

[fragglerockopinions]

I am jealous to no end of people who have wild D&D campaigns that span multiple years. I can't even get people to play with me once. I am tearing my hair out trying to convince people that the hardest math you will do while playing this game is like adding 2+3.

[honestlyvan]

Also Earthspark team I am begging on my knees pls gieb Bulkhead and have Bulkhead and Jawbreaker have an intergenerational autie friendship. Pls pls pls pls, it would be so perfect

[wanderingmausoleum]

i grow weary of people who are proud of being Haters

[nightgnome]

this is a really refreshing to hear bc the feeling is mutual, but im 41, and I don’t hear enough 20-somethings talk about being comfortable with friendships with older people

after like 24/25 everyone is the same age to me like i have way more in common with my 46 year old colleague than i do with any 17 year old

[crippledpunks]

i wanna say fuck you to anyone who shame disabled, chronically ill & neurodivergent people, especially homebound folks, for "spending too much time on their phone/on the internet/etc." when it's the only (Somewhat) accessible way for them to experience the world. many people don't get to get out much even if they want to because of their disabilities. shaming someone for trying to connect with the world, make friends and engage with hobbies in ways that are accessible to them is beyond cruel and unnecessary