#era: femme fatale

[opsbritney]

BRITNEY SPEARS Good Morning America (2011)

[zweizweinulleins]

[femmefatalevibe]

25 Life Lessons I've Learned In 25 Years

In honor of turning 25 this month, here are some lessons I wish someone could've baked into my brain by 18. Hope this helps xx

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is an act of self-care. Actively discounting others is not the same as protecting your peace.

Pay attention to who gossips and keeps to themselves amidst an interpersonal conflict. Insecure people or those in the wrong will speak the loudest and go on the longest in a fight to prove their innocence. Individuals who are self-assured and comfortable with the truth know it's better to communicate their feelings appropriately and then move past it. Confidence is assertive, tactful, and relatively silent.

If you want to know who to believe in an argument, pay attention to how both sides speak about the conflict. The perpetrator will often speak about the individuals' character/morality while the victim will explain their personal experience in the context of the relevant situation.

Display empathy and consideration, but don't live to satisfy others' emotional needs and expectations. Say farewell to anyone who dismisses or guilts you for your own needs, emotions, priorities/life goals & aspirations.

Your needs matter. No one needs to approve or validate your desires. If someone feels they have control over you or tries to persuade you to change your mind to ensure you put their emotions and needs first, cut them out of your life. They do not care about you.

Almost no one deserves insider access into your life and mind. Upholding your right to privacy – especially regarding your finances, dating life, health conditions/concerns, and long-term goals – is the simplest way to protect your peace.

A friend to all is a friend to none. Be wary of those who will not stand up for you behind closed doors. These people do not care about you, they care about what your place in their life does for them and their ego.

Be radically honest and accepting of who you are. Don't apologize for your preferences, aspirations, and values. You deserve to live in a way that makes you happy, not to appease others in hopes of their approval or future favors due to your karmic good deeds.

You deserve happiness, love, and nice things, life experiences, relationships, and opportunities in your life regardless of what others may or may not possess/ be able to experience. Dispel this scarcity mindset ASAP. Jealousy and internalized shame are destructive to your self-esteem and all your relationships.

You are worthy and offer many incredible, unique gifts to the world. Don't allow naysayers, critics, or bullies (of any age) to dim your light or sacrifice pursuing your dreams. Decide you're the leader of your own life. Then act accordingly.

Direct communication is always the way. Remain tactful, but at least when dealing with non-manipulative people, always say what you mean and mean what you say. It will save a lot of trouble and petty disagreements that could've been avoided with clearer communication.

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your feelings, emotions, and actions that don't have a direct, inescapable impact on someone else. "No" is a complete sentence.

Approach conversations as a meeting of the minds. Healthy debate or conflict is about seeking to understand the other person, not prove yourself right. Leaving your ego at the door will allow you to expand your mind and avoid many unnecessary conflicts or arguments.

If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. For a job, date, sex, attendance at a time-sucking social event, family gatherings, an informal meeting not essential for you to keep your job, a wedding, birthday party, holiday invitation, etc. Outside of your contracted hours and time necessary to keep yourself/your home clean & well-maintained, you should spend your time exactly as you please. Doing things you don't want to do will only breed resentment down the line toward yourself and others.

Detangle yourself from any who refuses to self-reflect and take accountability. This person is selfish and will never see you as fully human with emotions, needs, and a complete life/internal world of your own. Cut them out (or at least fully emotionally detach and limit contact with them) immediately.

Speak your truth, but always say a little less than you feel necessary. Overexplaning and oversharing do you no favors. At a minimum, this approach allows you to protect your peace. In the worst circumstances, this tactic can also save you from a lot of trouble in your personal or professional life.

Learn to ask for a little more than you're comfortable with, but do so with grace, tact, and confidence. Whether it's a salary/rate negotiation, flight/hotel/restaurant accommodations, get in the habit of making that slightly higher/up-leveled request like you're expecting a "yes." You can't get something you don't ask for, so speak up and show you know your worth. This habit can bring a lot of great opportunity into your life and builds up your confidence.

Everyone is on their own timeline and path. Don't compare yourself to others' credentials, job titles, relationship status, net worths, or jean sizes. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Remaining envious of others only takes up the energy that could otherwise be used to elevate or enrich your life.

Become clear on your priorities, and remain diligent with your habits & routines. Set SMART goals. Implement healthy habits and rituals into your daily lifestyle. Be consistent with goal-supporting and wellness rituals (generous sleep schedule, healthful eating habits, daily movement/regular exercise, reading, task time-blocking, cleaning, and life/work admin schedule), so they become second nature. Help yourself by creating these default habits to ensure your brain is wired for success whether you're in an easygoing era or a stressful life season.

Stop seeing other people (especially other women) as your competition in your profession/dating life and within your platonic relationships. Use your immediate criticisms as a tool for self-reflection. Actively deconstruct the patriarchy in every aspect of your life. Other women coworkers, dating prospects, and friends are not your rivals nor individuals who should be evaluated based on their assertiveness, sexual history/appeal, relationship status, or desire to perform traditional maternal/domestic roles.

Understanding how to interact with others in a cordial, tactful manner is significantly more important than having everyone like you. Learn how to positively influence people without seeking approval. What other people think of us is none of our business. All we can do is show up as the best version of ourselves, and remain optimistic about a potential connection.

Acceptance, accountability, and consistent discipline are the holy trinity to creating a sustainable change that you can maintain for the long haul. There's no shame in starting from the bottom, but you need to be honest about where you're at, so you can create a realistic game plan/small behavior-changing habits that stack up over time to help you implement the radical change you're craving.

Let go of any internalized shame. Being the "good girl" does you no favors in life. Set a standard and expectation to be respected, not to be perceived as "innocent" or submissive – this is how you get taken advantage of in professional, platonic, and intimate relationships. Remain ravenous for respect. It's the only way to live life to the fullest.

24. Investing in your appearance is a form of self-respect. Wanting to look & feel your best and present yourself in the best light possible to others is not a superficial pursuit. Remain unwavering about your hygiene/beauty/grooming routines, deliberate styling choices, healthy eating & workout habits, and mindfulness of social graces. You're your #1 publicist, so act like it. Life is all about embracing satisfaction with a sprinkle of reputation management.

25. Be unapologetic about your financial ambitions, priorities, investments, savings goals, etc. Financial freedom IS freedom. The only way to change the system is to break it from the inside out. Leverage is everything. Allocate, and assert your (financial) power wisely.

[carm3n-carm3n]

just started watching pll..

[maniccherrygirl]

Better than anyone else <3

[queen-of-disasters-stuff]

Obsessed with Anya Taylor Joy's wedding.🩸🤍

[diaryofanenchantedprincess]

Rarely ever be emotional. Your default is under emotional. Always observing, looking at how you can turn certain events to have a favorable outcome for you and where you can benefit from. Save your emotions for your children or your pets or for when you write or paint or express yourself. Save it for your journal to put them all down in and sort through them. Process your emotions in private, with someone you trust, or with a therapist. Practice mental hygiene every night where you put them down on paper or say them out loud. But your emotions are a currency.

Say you only have so much currency to spend every day. Would you be giving them out as freely as you do and to people who didn’t even ask for it?

[nastyphoenix]

My attitude of the day

[howtobeher]

Defining ❝𝓗𝓮𝓻❞

You know her. She commands attention effortlessly, wrapping men around her finger and inspiring women simply by existing. Enigmatic, multifaceted, and numinous, she’s a work of literature that keeps you turning pages, captivated by her infinite layers. Her emotional intelligence and maturity shine in her demeanor. Strikingly composed, she’s a master of balancing humble vulnerability with fierce confidence. Rumors swirl that she’s a witch, her brilliance and success so arcane they seem touched by magic. In a way she is; she harnesses the transformative power of discipline, consistency, and intentional small habits. A beautiful woman uniquely made, she highlights the gifts her creator deigned her with. Nurturing her soul first and foremost, she knows true beauty radiates from within.

[rosalie-starfall]

Gunpowder Milkshake

[thoughtsbysofi]

The Truth About Power and the Maneater Myth

When the maneater gets eaten by men

I think we’ve all fantasized about her at some point. The maneater: wild, confident, unapologetic. She’s the woman who seems untouchable, the one with beauty so sharp it’s almost dangerous. She moves through life effortlessly, holding men—and the world—in the palm of her hand.

She’s been immortalized in songs, from Daryl Hall and John Oates’ iconic anthem to Nelly Furtado’s unforgettable beat. (Only God knows how many times I’ve danced to that one in front of the mirror, lip-syncing like I had the world at my feet too.) She represents something intoxicating: power, allure, freedom. Or so we’re told.

Over time, I’ve come to see cracks in the image we’ve painted of her, and they’re hard to look away from.

Her shine, that magnetic confidence, feels... muted. Almost as if the very force that made her so untouchable has been swallowed whole by the same system she’s supposed to rise above.

Here’s the thing about the maneater: her power has always been a performance. What we believed was control was always a false sense of empowerment—a game that looked like it was hers but was actually rigged from the start.

Think about her name. "Maneater." She’s defined by men before she’s even had a chance to define herself. Her power—her entire identity—is grounded in the very gaze she thought she had mastered. How far can she really distance herself from the male gaze when her existence revolves around it?

This was easier to ignore in the past, back when the maneater existed in songs, movies, or whispered stories. But now, in the age of social media, her shadow looms larger than ever. Platforms like TikTok are littered with guides on how to “become a maneater.” Entire accounts are dedicated to teaching women how to embody the aesthetic—what to wear, how to act, what to believe. There are even courses for sale promising to turn you into a siren-like figure who commands attention and leaves men in pieces.

But let’s be honest with ourselves. What’s behind all these trends? What’s at the heart of this obsession with being a maneater?

Fear.

Fear of being overlooked. Fear of not being enough. Fear of being powerless in a world that demands we center men in every aspect of our lives. And so, we create a persona—a character to play—because if we’re going to be consumed by this system, we might as well act like it’s on our terms.

Except it never is.

And here’s the truth: the maneater doesn’t exist. She never has.

The real woman behind the fantasy doesn’t care about men, let alone eating them alive. She’s not plotting or strategizing, and she definitely isn’t wasting her energy learning how to manipulate others for validation. In fact, the maneater isn’t devouring men—she’s too busy living her life, building something real, something meaningful, for herself.

So where did this idea even come from? Why are we still clinging to it?

Because it’s convenient. The idea of the maneater allows men to dismiss women they can’t control. “Oh, she’s just like that with everyone,” they say, as if their failure to win her affection isn’t personal. And for women, the maneater becomes a shield—something to hide behind when the vulnerability of simply being feels too much to bear.

But what would happen if we let go of the need to perform and focused on ourselves instead?

The women who are truly powerful aren’t trying to fit into a mold. They don’t need labels like “maneater” to justify their independence, their choices, their lives. They’re not chasing some aesthetic or performing for the male gaze. They’re simply existing—fully, authentically, and without apology.

Real power isn’t found in manipulation, control, or detachment. It’s not about who you can conquer or how many people fall at your feet. It’s about connection. It’s about seeing others—not as pawns or opponents, but as equals.

The true maneater isn’t eating anyone. She’s not interested in games, roles, or power plays. She knows who she is, and that’s enough.

Real strength, real wildness, isn’t about becoming her, someone for someone else—it’s about stepping away from the illusion, leaving the fantasy behind, and finding power in being unapologetically yourself.

Because the real power we’re looking for has nothing to do with men. It’s been in us all along.

-xoxo

[opsbritney]

BRITNEY SPEARS by ALEXI LUBOMIRSKI (2011)

[likeafantasy]

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Healthy Habits To Look & Feel Your Best Without Restriction or Unrealistic Routines

Realistic ways to maintain a healthy life/body/appearance (size and weight are all personal, not the most important metric – for certain). No diet culture or delulu-land tips here.

What I've done to maintain my 30-pound weight loss for over a decade, glowing clear skin (no pimples or discoloration, etc.), and super healthy, full & shiny hair, still living life and enjoying it – the mindful way.

Eat home-cooked meals & (plant-based) whole foods – 90-95% of the time

Incorporate at least 1 salad into my daily routine (either a large, hearty lunch salad or a simple green salad as a starter with dinner)

Include at least 1 fruit/vegetable in every meal or snack

Never restrict food groups – whole grains/potatoes, healthy fats, protein-rich plant foods, and produce are all essential to consume every day

Focus on meals, but have whole food snack options on hand to enjoy if genuinely hungry (mainly fruit, lupini beans, edamame, carrots/celery/cucumber with hummus, plain popcorn, handful of almonds/cashews)

Have breakfast after one coffee (before a second) and have dinner late enough (8-9:30 pm) to curb late-night hunger

Only have fruit and tea after dinner; Always stop consuming food at least 3 hours before bed for better sleep/digestion

Order whatever I want when going out to eat, but split dessert

Have at least one indulgent meal/dessert per week

No sugary cocktails – wine, champagne/prosecco, martinis, gin & tonic, margarita, French Connection, Sambuca, Grappa, tequila on the rocks, etc. are great options. Bellinis/fruit plus wine/spirits cocktails are a good middle ground. Sugary drinks worsen the hangover – big-time

Perceive healthy eating as a form of enjoyment, creativity, and nourishment, not restriction or deprivation (it's not if done liberally enough)

Consume a vitamin B12 and vitamin D supplement daily. Keep digestive enzymes on hand for when they're necessary

Always have a large glass of water first thing in the morning (before coffee) and by my side all day long

No soda, juices, sugary drinks, etc. Black coffee, tea, and water only on the daily – wine and no-sugar alcoholic drinks on rare occasions. Smoothies can be a great snack or breakfast, though!

Incorporate an (almost) daily walk into my schedule as a form of exercise and a mental health reset (I aim for 4-5 miles/10Kish steps per day on average)

Do short, low-impact strengthen training exercises 3x a week (15-30 mins each usually) for bone health & toning

Never forcing myself to do strenuous exercise/workout formally in a gym – it's not for me; it doesn't make me feel/look better and throws my hunger & energy levels way off. To each their own, though

Have a variety of playlists ready to go for waking up, working, dancing, walking/workouts, doing chores, and reading/relaxing

Internalizing that sexual health is a core aspect of your health & well-being – on all counts

Maintaining a simple skincare routine 2x per week with high-quality products and a couple of weekly treatments

Prioritizing my body care routine with as much as my facial skincare routine

Wearing at least SPF 30 daily

Exfoliating 2-3x per week

Learning what hair products work for my hair type; Using a deep conditioning mask and a scalp mask weekly

Using only cold water when washing my hair

Incorporating face & body massages into my weekly at-home routine

Using Uriage lip balm, hand cream, and deodorant religiously

Flossing 1-2 times a day/using an electric toothbrush

[satinspiderweb]

[maniccherrygirl]

Ultraviolence will always be my favorite era