#emotional self harm

[thecircularsystem]

do you have anything you'd like to say particularly about the intersection of syscourse and self harm?

Ough. First off, TW clearly for discussions of SH.

I mean...

Syscourse is often a form of emotional self harm. That's obvious. I think what is less obvious is when people are actually using it for self harm.

For instance: Is me syscoursing right now self harm, or not?

What actually constitutes self harm?

Like, on one hand, I am deliberately sitting and answering asks, putting off work that I need to be doing. I am purposefully choosing to make tomorrow harder for me, because I'm not doing things I could be doing now. I am syscoursing while I could be doing dishes, or picking up laundry, or any number of needed things.

On the other, I'm syscoursing today because I have a goal for writing, and that's taking up my whole mind right now; it's easier for me to answer asks than it is to write full length stories, so I asked for asks that I knew would be quick and easy ~300 word bids for word count today. I'm having fun. And that's where this gets muddy.

I think, at the end of the day, my biggest stance on this is that it is absolutely nobody else's place to call someone out for self harming, in any degree. Sure, if you're worried about your friend, you could say, "Hey, I'm really worried about how you're interacting with XYZ right now, and I just want to make sure -- are you checking in with yourself? Are you hurting right now? Is there anything else you could be doing?"

The amount of times people came to me and said, "You're self-harming, stop it" (or worse yet, "you're encouraging self harm") because of how much I syscoursed... Each and every time, it made things worse. It did not make things better, ever. It made me more addicted.

That's because syscourse fulfills this psychological need for me, one that I've been working on filling in other ways. If I can fulfill my needs elsewhere, I don't need syscourse. I'm happy to report, I've gotten a lot better with this (though there are still days when I slip into it).

The thing about self harm is, it's a coping mechanism. It does something for the person doing it. And trying to stop cold turkey, or having everyone around you remind you constantly of How Bad It Is, does not actually do anything to provide tangible harm reduction strategies.

I don't really know if I'm the right one to provide those strategies. But I know I've had to make my own to handle syscourse.

Block liberally. If you participate in syscourse, you need to curate your spaces to hurt less. If that person always, always pisses you off, then block so you cannot see them, and preferably so they can't see you, hopefully. You don't need to play fair or give them a chance.

Consider private blogs. Does what you're saying NEED to be posted online, forever, for everyone to see? Private blogs give the same serotonin of "I am posted online, others will see it," without others... actually seeing it. You can also then look back on those posts when you feel particularly frustrated and let it out there, or even decide to go public later when you're in a better mindset.

Drafts. Make a draft, don't post immediately. This is harder said than done for me, especially in heated moments, but it's always better to come back to a post later with a cooler head. Moreover, I believe drafting something helps save it if OP ends up blocking you.

Check if you're blocked. You can actually do that, btw. Go to the replies function and do the drop down. If the blog name is completely greyed out, you're blocked. This... usually works, though sometimes I've had tumblr grey out a name that isn't actually blocked. It's a functional website. This helps a lot though, because nothing hurt more than writing up an impassioned response, only to get the "Oopsies doopsies something went wrong ):" banner pop up with all those words lost to the void.

Just a few tips there.

[entity56]

gotta stay off the rq tags I've relapsed enough

[underleveledjosh]

"Psychological self harm" you selfish, selfish brat. "I don't want this content on my blog" you selfish brat. "I care about what directly affects me" YOU SELFISH BRAT. "Genocide is bad, but" You are complicit. You can throw all the buzzwords you want, it doesn't change you're a privileged american crying online that genocide makes you feel bad and it's fine because others are doing what you aren't anyway.

The fact that others are doing what I'm not is the reason why I don't feel the need to talk about it. And, yes. Emotional/psychological self harm is a real thing.

[hussyknee]

Desperately wishing I could be a worse person without caring. Like an absolutely shitty bigot that has no trouble indulging all my worst impulses and rationalizing all my feelings into a persecution complex. It would be so freeing.

I know this is because my OCD is getting out of hand and the scrupulosity is really hurting. But deliberately being a piece of shit feels less pathetic than consistently failing to be worth anything. I'm tired to death of trying to live up to my brain's standards for being good. The thought of never having to worry if I'm hurting someone or being unkind or hypocritical, always being able to take my own side, to take out all my hurt on other people the way I want to and enjoy doing it, letting myself despise them for being weak the way I was conditioned to...it all feels like such a relief.

It's like I'm forever gripping a sword by the blade with both hands and the only options are continuing to drive it into myself or thrust it away from me into another person. And the more I stab myself to spare them, the more I want them to suffer instead.

[that-darn-clown]

willfully read a bunch of comments and made myself sad 🤘

i hate emotional self harm i wish i could stop doing it 🤘

i need to go make kandi now to stop crying 🤘

[inkly-heart]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bonus 13: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[sleepwxlk]

“To My Younger Self”

(A Letter Through Time)

Dear younger me, so fragile yet bold,

You carried a weight no child should hold.

Born in Switzerland, a life you’d known,

Until the age of 9, when you left your home.

To Lebanon’s warmth, you rebuilt anew,

Friends and a life in a world fresh and true.

But at the age of 12, it was all swept away,

Back to Switzerland, where you’d start again each day.

In a family hostel, you found your bed,

Where dreams felt distant, and hunger fed.

Scooting to school through the biting cold,

A warrior, even at twelve years old.

At 15, your world began to break,

A storm at home that you couldn’t escape.

Your mother’s mind began to fray,

Schizophrenia’s grip pulling her away.

The police came knocking, the neighbors stared,

Her episodes left you broken and scared.

At school, the bullying cut deep inside,

Leaving you with nowhere to hide.

Depression crept in, heavy and slow,

Filling your heart with an endless woe.

Thoughts of escape darkened your nights,

One attempt to end the fight.

When your mother left, your anger burned,

A wound so deep, you thought she’d spurned.

For two long years, you refused to speak,

Your heart too shattered, your voice too weak.

Your dad, distracted, withdrew to his room,

His voice on the phone pierced the house’s gloom.

The woman he loved replaced your mom,

Yet her presence stole the home’s last calm.

You and your sister carried the load,

Cooking and cleaning on a weary road.

Caring for your brother, buying his clothes,

As you fought for balance, the pressure rose.

At 17, the fights grew loud and raw,

Your sister screaming at flaws she saw.

Her toxic boyfriend, cruel and unkind,

Left her trapped in chains she cannot unwind.

At 20, love bloomed for the very first time,

A moment of light that felt so divine.

But when it ended, your heart fell apart,

Healing was hard—it broke you to start.

At 21, your mother returned to mend,

Her healing brought hope, though hard to extend.

Yet as you worked to repair and to grow,

A breakup dragged you to valleys of woe.

For two more years, you carried the pain,

Fighting to rise, to feel whole again.

The weight of the past, the scars you wore,

Still couldn’t keep you from wanting more.

At 24, your triumph began,

A medical assistant, a steady plan.

You started to heal, to piece life together,

The storm inside calming like clearer weather.

Still, your sister remains in her pain,

Trapped in a cycle of heartbreak and strain.

To her, one message I whisper in light:

“You deserve freedom; keep up the fight.”

Depression still lingers, but it’s not your master,

Anxiety whispers, but you move faster.

The girl who once thought she’d never be free,

Has grown into a woman of strength—look and see.

So to my younger self, so scared, yet true,

The pain you endured shaped the beautiful you.

I’m sorry, I love you, and thank you for staying,

For holding on when the world felt decaying.

Hold onto hope, let resilience shine,

The stars you once dreamed of are yours to align.

- DK

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

but also like. guys you don’t need to leave the minecraft youtube community bc one person is bad to clarify. like. shelby is a minecraft youtuber. a lot of her friends are minecraft youtubers. those friends are supportive and as far as we know all believe her. the vast majority of minecraft youtubers are like. fine. this shit is something that Happens because Abusers are Manipulative, going to another hobby will Not shield you from anything and you’re not immoral for liking something bad people also liked. which is. one of the biggest video games ever. like in this situation no one was knowingly harbouring an abuser and it seems everyone was supportive. this is just a case of some people being shit, not anything to do with mcyt. hell, the guy hasn’t been on minecraft in like a year lmao.

i fully understand why the content might be uncomfortable to you guys now but like, please don’t self flagellate and cut yourself off from an entire genre of media because of one guy again. i saw that happen after the dream stuff and a lot of people ended up losing important things because they made rash decisions and felt like they Had to leave. but please. take one deep fucking breath. this has happened before. this has happened so much before, and in ways far worse than this. because abusers, unfortunately, exist. you should not feel guilty for being manipulated by a manipulative abuser, don’t blame yourself. do what you have to, but please, please keep in mind that the majority of minecraft youtube is fine. it is fine to continue engaging with it. it’s fine to be manipulated by an abuser and it’s not your fault. please don’t make rash decisions and end up losing things you care deeply about and being unable to get them back. distance yourself all you want, but please be careful to not do so out of emotional self harm from the guilt. that’s something this fandom encourages far too much- even outside of this- and it’s unhealthy and anyone expecting it of you is cruel.

[certifries]

and you followed

[entity56]

when the brain tempts me into constant emotional self harm so im just constantly grouchy and on guard

[depresso-espresso-5150]

My thoughts have destroyed me more than blades ever could.

I dunno

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

"they only cut themself for attention" are you aware that mentally well people don't cut themselves at all

[aventurineswife]

Hey !!! How are you?? I love what you write so much so ure so talentedd !!

Also could u do an aventurine x reader where like they started dating not long ago and like aventurine notices self harm marks on reader’s arms ?? (If ure comfortable w/ that ofc)

“You Drew Stars Over My Scars”

Summary: In the early stages of your relationship, Aventurine notices scars on your arm. With quiet compassion and understanding, he addresses it gently, offering his support without judgment. As you share a vulnerable moment, he reassures you that he’s there for you, bringing lightheartedness and warmth to ease the conversation.

Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Emotional Support, Fluff and Angst, Healing.

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm, References to past emotional struggles

A/N: HELLO!!! I'm doing alright and I hope you are doing alright as well!! Thank you for appreciating my work! I put my best effort into writing each character as accurately as possible, even while balancing my personal life, so your support means a lot to me! 🤭💖🫶 Don’t worry about your request—I’m comfortable with it. But for anyone struggling with something similar, please reach out to someone you trust completely. It may not seem like much, but sharing is better than keeping everything to yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here! Don’t hesitate, and remember to love yourself more! ❤️

It was one of those rare, quiet evenings. Aventurine had cleared his typically packed schedule, something he was only too willing to do since the two of you had started dating. After a whirlwind start, tonight felt like a pause – a chance for him to simply be with you, away from the risks and wagers that often defined his world.

You sat beside him on the couch, your arm resting casually against his. Aventurine noticed a faint change in your body language – a hint of self-consciousness, a slight turn of your wrist. The faint movement caught his eye, and he saw them – the small, faded scars along your arm.

He glanced up, meeting your eyes with a gentle look, saying nothing at first, allowing you the space to choose whether to share or to stay silent. But his hand reached out, fingers brushing along your forearm. The gesture was soft, free of judgment or expectation, just a comforting presence.

"Can I ask about these?" Aventurine asked softly, his tone inviting but unintrusive.

You hesitated, not used to this level of openness, especially when it came to scars from a part of your past you were still trying to make peace with. You shifted slightly, averting your gaze, but Aventurine’s hand gently anchored you there, his thumb brushing softly over your wrist. His eyes, usually so full of confidence, held only a quiet, calming sincerity.

“It was… it’s something I went through,” you whispered, barely able to meet his gaze. “It’s… something I still struggle with, sometimes.”

Aventurine listened, his hand never leaving yours, his gentle touch reminding you that he was there, that he was listening and would wait as long as you needed to feel safe in sharing. After a beat, he spoke, his voice thoughtful and warm.

“You know,” he began softly, “I can’t pretend to know exactly what you’ve felt, what led you here. But… I do know about hiding things that hurt. I’ve got my own scars – maybe not the kind you can see,” he added, his smile faint but real, “but they’re there.”

The weight of his words settled around you, and you felt something shift – a wall you’d kept up out of habit, slowly lowering. You exhaled, feeling a bit of the tension release, as though you were finally in a space where you didn’t have to hide this part of yourself.

He leaned closer, his hand now holding yours firmly but gently, grounding you in the moment. "I'm here with you, okay? Whatever you’re going through, I want you to know it doesn’t make me see you any differently. You’re… important to me." The sincerity in his voice was unmistakable, and it softened something deep within you.

“Thank you.” you said quietly, squeezing his hand back.

Aventurine tilted his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “How about this – every time you feel like you’re slipping, like things get too much, you let me know? We can talk, or… not talk,” he said, a hint of his usual humor breaking through, “or we can find some ridiculous way to distract ourselves. I’ve got these mooncake cats I haven’t introduced you to yet.”

That earned a soft laugh from you, breaking the lingering tension in the room. He caught the sound, grinning as he pulled his phone out and showed you a photo of his silly, mooncake-shaped cats. He held it up with a playful smirk.

“These little guys reminds me every day not to take life too seriously. So, any time you need them, They're just a text away.” he added with a wink.

The lightheartedness lifted the weight from your heart, and you looked at Aventurine, grateful for his presence, his understanding, and his unspoken promise to be there, both in laughter and in the moments that were hard.

And as he pulled you into a gentle embrace, you felt it – the quiet assurance that, whatever scars you both carried, you didn’t have to bear them alone anymore.

[doveboycreature]

does anyone else get a little sexual thrill from temporarily giving into despair? Or am I just some kind of pervert.

[aemulatorizrafel]

It was a struggle but I made this as my own way of healing and moving on. I don't post this in hopes to get sympathy or attention but as a way to let others know they're not alone.

It took me almost 30 years but things got better, I promise, things will get better and I hope for everyone else's healing as well.