#emailing you all the hugs
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campingwiththecharmings · 6 months ago
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^^me every time i see fen in my activity ❤️
ok i gotta ask: what was the scene that you cut from your latest santi fic? (and could we maybe possibly see that scene? 👉👈)
(this is about this fic, for those who'd like context lol)
ll;kdl lol nonnieeeee ily 😆
i actually cut two scenes from this fic, one of which i actually wrote and the other which i wanted to write but ended up only mentioning (*cough*thewindowsex*cough*). i was gonna hold onto the one i wrote to use somewhere else, but odds are i'll probably end up forgetting about it soooo sure. here you go nonnie, thank you for your interest 😘
this was what i had originally written for the car ride over to the hotel:
When you meet his gaze, he holds it, moving his hand slowly up beneath the hem of your dress, tickling the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as you part them for him. You hold your breath as he reaches the barrier of your panties. He can tell how soaked you already are for him, fingers pressing against you lightly through the damp fabric. 
His gaze holds yours as he moves his fingers, lightly circling right above where your clit is, making your breath stutter in your chest. You squirm in the seat, tilting your hips in an effort to gain more friction, but then the car behind you honks, dragging Santiago’s attention back to the road, and he presses the gas pedal. His fingers continue to tease you though, the pressure increasing slightly as he changes tactics, swiping his fingers up and down your slit. You gasp when he catches your clit just right on one particular swipe, hips jolting involuntarily. You whine his name, when he does it again, reaching out to grasp his wrist. His jaw clenches at your touch, hand flexing a little beneath your dress.
“Please,” you beg, chewing your lip as he glances quickly over at you with a muttered curse.
You can only imagine how you must look right now, needy and desperate for him to fuck you, even if it’s just with his fingers. With a growl, he slips beneath the waistband of your panties, sliding his calloused fingertips between the lips of your sex. You choke on a moan as he circles your clit, head falling back against the seat. The angle is a little awkward so he goes slow, drawing out your pleasure gradually with each swipe of his fingers. 
“Almost there,” he mutters, slipping a finger down your wet slit, and for a moment, you’re not sure if he’s talking to himself or to you.
A whine escapes you when he dips two fingers inside, gently massaging the walls of your cunt. He curses again, mumbling something in Spanish as he pumps them in and out of you, wet squelching mixing with the sound of your heavy breathing. You can feel the tension building inside you already; you’re so close, the heat rising, the feeling that you’re going to burst any second. 
You try to warn him, but he changes the angle of his fingers and hits something devastating inside you and that’s all it takes. You come with a gasp, cunt fluttering around his fingers as he continues to pump them in and out of you, prolonging your release. As you come down, you notice that you’ve stopped moving, the car no longer on the road but in the parking lot of a hotel. Santiago’s hand is still between your legs, his fingers still buried inside you, and your skin heats with embarrassment.
You glance over at him, breath hitching when you meet his gaze—his eyes are molten, pupils blown wide with lust. 
When he removes his fingers, you whimper a little, eyelids fluttering as they drag along your still-sensitive walls. He brings them to his lips, humming as his tongue swirls around the digits, collecting all of your slick. You swallow thickly at the sight, heat already pooling again in your belly.
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mycological-mariner · 2 months ago
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*slamming my fist onto the table*
MORE ROLES FOR OLD WOMEN.
MORE OLD WOMEN WHO ARENT JUST THE CARETAKER
MORE OLD WOMEN WITH AN ACTIVE PRESENCE
MORE OLD WOMEN WHO ARE MINORITIES
MORE OLD WOMEN WITH IMPORTANT ARCS AND WHO ARE MULTI-FACETED.
MORE. OLD. WOMEN.
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monstermoviedean · 2 months ago
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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sapsolais · 9 days ago
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sometimes you have a shitty day but there are things that make it easier to keep going like:
- being silly with basically strangers
- hugs when you really need them
- quiet 3 am phone calls with people you really love
#idk. it's been such a hard couple weeks for me honestly#i've had to adjust to back 2 back changes over and over again. and i also feel guilty for a couple different reasons all at the same time#couple that with 0 free time and no money? and bills? woooff#today in particular was really hard because i went to bed so late (it was worth it) but in turn i got up later#had to hurry to my appointment which meant i didn't eat anything besides a yogurt. which is better than nothing#but then i had to get my blood drawn. twice. and was sooooo worried about the time bc i had work after. i almost fell asleep in the lobby bc#i was so tired. also i almost couldn't afford my appointment and almost had a heart attack. then i rushed to work and my boss made me drive#30 minutes back to my house to change my pants (pants i'd worn like 5 times before) because they had a TINY rip in them. i mean like 2 inch#there was 1 rip. girl. anyways i had to leave in front of all my coworkers AFTER JUST RUSHING THERE and i felt even MORE guilty bc i alr#leave and hour early for school WHICH ALSO doesn't help. me financially.#anyways then i had to email my prof that i'll be late bc work Needed me longer today. n just#christ. i was so fucking stressed#SO stressed#but i'm in bed now and#i was thinking about all the kids at work who gave me a hug today. like i always get hugs but today i Needed one. so it felt different#and in my lab today me and these total strangers were laughing like a pack of sleep deprived hyenas bc we kept makin silly jokes while#diagnosing a car and doing circuit work.#and i thought about how i talked with myself today even though i was in a rush i still made the time to journal for a bit#how my best friend sounded last night. how they'd drop everything no questions asked#how even though it feels like you've got no one in the moment you turn and suddenly someone's there#sometimes it's hard to see. it's blurry in our peripherals while we move through our days but. you sit at the end of it all#i like remembering all that.#sap says#txt#feel free to add in the tags btw
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l0rd-0f-c0ws · 5 months ago
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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bunnyhopkins · 1 year ago
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Nvm being in a sorority sucks, the other shoe dropped-
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dubiousdisco · 2 years ago
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"if i ever write a sentence that makes the character sounds like they're gay or bi and you think that was just awkward phrasing on my part do not correct it. i know what i'm doing."
-machado de assis (from the oujiaboard conversation i just had)
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plethorawrites · 27 days ago
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Image how confused the entire Bat family would be if Jason— touch repulsed, wants to work alone, barely even tolerates them most days— Todd finally gets sucked into one of Bruce's charity events, only to come with a date who he *cannot* keep his hands off. I'm talking, has his arm draped around her waist or over her shoulder whenever they're walking, hugging her from behind with his jaw on top of her hair (carefully though, so he won't mess it up), occasionally randomly kissing the back of her hand, or her cheek, or very quickly her neck before she smacks him away playfully.
And the media LOVES this.
The reporters who usually bother Bruce about his company, Dick about his romantic life, Damian about school, Duke about being recently legally adopted, Cass about her improving speech skills, Tim about recent publicity statements, all suddenly leave them alone to take picture after picture of Jason and whoever his date is. And Jason—has threatened, attempted, and actually punched reporters— Todd doesn't even care. He doesn't bat an eye, (pun intended) because they should take pictures with how gorgeous she looks.
He'd be offended if they didn't.
And when she blushes, getting a bit shy after hearing a few too many clicks, he runs a hand up and down her arm, tearing her away from the buffet to dance. Dance. Yes, Bruce thought he'd lost his mind when he saw his son whisk a beautiful woman into the middle of the room, willingly, even eagerly wrapping his arms around her comfortably and familiarly, while she rests her head against his chest and he rests his cheek against the side of your head, his eyes fluttering shut every once in a while.
Of course, his family tried to get to talk to him, really, they did. Something or someone conveniently got in the way every single time, until the event is over and Jason and his date manage to slip out in the crowd before the family gets to interrogate him about it.
His phone? He has to shut it off from all the calls and texts that overwhelm his inbox. Alfred even sent an email.
When he eventually does pick it up after having it on do not disturb for a while, he simply types in the group chat, "You told me to bring a date." Before putting it face down on the nightstand and rolling over in bed to wrap his arms around her, kissing her temple softly as she sleeps, out of your fancy dress and in his arms, where she belongs.
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lizardho · 2 months ago
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When I came out, I was SO scared I was gonna get disowned. I wrote a letter to my parents, sent it to their emails, put a physical copy on the counter, and left the house for a few hours to give them time. In that time I tried coffee for the first time, which was a dreadful idea, and got all jittery. I kept waiting for a text or something but nothing happened.
After a few hours, I didn’t hear back from them so I went home. My parents were home and had stacked a bunch of groceries on top of the letter without opening it. They said “hi” and I said “hi” and went down stairs to the basement. I held my dog and panicked about what to do. My sister, who knew that I had written them a letter of great importance, told me they hadn’t read it yet. She also told me she could ask them to do so. I consented to this and stayed in the basement. A few minutes later my dad knocked on the door and poked his soft smooth little nerd head in and said “hey buddy” and I started crying so hard I almost vomited. He came over and gave me a BIG hug and said that it was gonna be OK, he was OK with this, he knew it must have been hard but he was here for me. He told me he and my mom had already talked years before they had me about how if they had to pick between their faith and their child they’d pick their child. It was a very sweet moment. I came out to my mom later that evening and we were both bawling the whole time.
The day after I came out to my parents, I came out to my brother @inbabylontheywept at a Mexican restaurant and he took it like a champ. That evening my mom took me for a walk and looked almost angry - she said she wanted to make sure that I didn’t use being a woman as an excuse to not go to grad school. I told her I wouldn’t and she instantly looked relieved and happier.
My dad, on the other hand, seemed to struggle with it. He kept asking me if I had a boyfriend, and I told him I did not. He kept asking me if I wanted to go clothes shopping with him and I did not. He kept asking me if I would let him go to some of my shows, and I had NO idea what he was talking about.
Finally, 6 months after coming out, of awkward misgendering and questions that didn’t make sense from my dad, he excitedly pokes his soft smooth little nerd head into my bedroom again and says “I found a movie about Your People.” My people. I was absolutely bewildered, but he was so excited and I knew he had been trying SO hard so I watched it with him. It was The Birdcage, and it was amazing. It also was revelatory in that I finally realized why my initially-supportive father seemed to be having such a hard time with my pronouns and stuff - he didn’t know what the difference between trans and doing drag was. After the movie he again asked if I would invite him to one of my shows, and I said, “Hey dad, you know how about half the world is women?” And he said “yeah,” and I said “Well, see, I’m on that half now. I’m not doing drag.” And it was like a switch flipped in his brain. He was like “omg that’s so easy? I was so confused about what to call you when?”
Anyway, my parents are charming and my family has been so kind and patient with me, I like sharing the stories of my little wins with them.
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neverendingford · 11 months ago
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.
#tag talk#making progress in therapy because I finally got annoyed enough to go on a twenty minute monologuing about how#I'm tired of getting projected onto and put in these cute little “here's how to manage your anxiety” boxes#yeah body scanning is cool I learned that seven years ago when I was having panic attacks and now I don't have them anymore#actually when I'm anxious focusing on all my five senses makes me even more overstimulated so I close my eyes and don't focus on what I hear#yes I already know how anxiety works and at this point I'm past the emotional fear response and it's now just an overloaded cpu problem#hey hey hey fucking listen to me yeah the circle of control is cute but when people are stupid enough I actually Can control them#I tried to tell her politely that I've already graduated from psych 101 basic bitch mental illness school for freaks.#but she didn't really get it so I stewed for half an hour while she talked about bullshit and then I kinda went off about it#like. hey I'm not incapable of holding relationships long term because I'm afraid of them it's because I'm a freak who doesn't belong.#I'm not afraid of other people. if anything people are afraid of Me. and yes that does make me afraid of social rejection as a whole#but can we please move past kindergarten levels of self understanding and move on to something useful?#yeah yeah yeah you all keep on being like “hmm let's address your depression” I'm so fucking tired of getting told coping methods#how many more snide comments about suicide hotlines do I need to make before you get the hint that I don't just need a hug.#anyway I'm gonna make a list of things I want to talk about and problems I want to address and email it to her and hopefully that helps
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doctorbeth · 3 months ago
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Henry the Penguin
Henry the Penguin came to California for the summer... not a sentence applicable to most penguins, but he didn't mind the warmer temperatures. :-)
Henry's name had an interesting origin. Apparently his human, as a toddler, sounded like she was saying Henry instead of Penguin. In any case, 35 years later Henry was his name, and his leather beak and feet were starting to have some serious issues. Here are his diagnosis photos:
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His person was initially less concerned about his feet, more concerned with his beak. I very rarely work with leather, but I did know I had a good piece that should work for Henry, and so we agreed on a treatment plan and he came to the hospital.
Here is the leather I used to reconstruct his beak:
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His person also opted to recover his feet. They weren't originally leather, but she did choose a white faux suede for them. When she chose it she said "Fancy, fancy, Mr. Henry-the-Penguin". :-)
Here's Henry the Penguin all better (he arrived with the blue ribbon):
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Looking as spiffy as if he was really wearing a tuxedo!
When he got home, Henry's person wrote:
Henry got home safely today. He looks amazing and is getting lots of hugs to aid in his recovery, as prescribed. He would have written you himself, but he is jet-lagged. He might write you once he has recovered from the flights and the surgery.
Thank you so much for repairing my little guy!
And sure enough, the next day Henry himself emailed:
Dear Miss BetH,
THank you for taking sucH good care of me for tHe past few weeks. I was scared to fly because I Haven't flown in over 10 years. And I was scared of surgery even tHougH I Hadn't been able to eat witH my broken beak. THank you for fixing me. I feel mucH better now. My mom's friend says I look "spiffy." I prefer "Handsome," but "spiffy" will do.
THank you again.
Love,
Henry
(Apologies for Henry's punctuation--not having gone past first grade, he thinks that the letter "H" must always be capitalized since it's the first letter of his name. Efforts to break this habit have proved futile.) Henry's person
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luveline · 3 days ago
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Hi Jade! (I’ve sent this before so ignore if you aren’t into it) just thinking about a bau!reader (maybe shy!reader??) who’s dating post-prison Spencer but didn’t know him before prison and she sees some footage of season one Spencer (maybe they need to refer to a recording of a previous case?) and she’s just dying at how cute he is 🥹
You’ve barely woken up with your face in a solid shoulder when Spencer’s turning around.
“Don’t,” he says when you whine, slipping a familiar hand over your hip. “I’m not going anywhere.” 
“Too early to make fun of me.” 
“Do you think I’m making fun of you?” 
His talking warms your nose where his head is angled down. Your skin smarts with goosebumps as he trails his hand lightly up your back, down again, the slowest, tumbling touch. You shiver, and Spencer, ever so slightly devious in love, says, “Oh, you’re cold?” with great pity as he pulls you closer. 
You rub your face against his shoulder. “Sorry.” 
“Why?”
“I smell.” 
He hums. “Sort of. Not like sweat, though. You smell like sleep.” His lips touch your cheek.
He lets you ‘warm up’ in his arms for a few minutes, then however long you doze for, lost and too comfortable to bother even trying to wake up properly. Your phone pings a couple of times after it comes out of sleep mode, a sure sign you’ve overslept, but Spencer doesn’t make you move until your stomach growls. 
“Come on,” he says, kissing your nose and slipping you back onto your side of the bed. “I’ll make breakfast.” 
“It’s nearly twelve.” 
“You just woke up, and it’s the first thing you’re gonna eat. You are breaking your fast. Breakfast.” He looks pretty even through achy, tired eyes, all the sleep crusted in your lashes no match for Spencer Reid. How you went so long without knowing him is a mystery. 
You get up only because he told you to and because he looked quite lovely when he did it, not because you want to. The bed is warm, that pit of his arms calling your name, but Spencer’s already rolling out of bed with an eager hand scratching through his hair. Sweat has made them tight and a little darker in the back. You’ll both have to shower at some point, preferably after he’s made you breakfast in bed. 
He can see your expectations on your face, and he laughs as he pulls a t-shirt on over his head. “Get up! I’m not bringing it up here, do you know how badly your sleep cycle is affected when you start doing the wrong things in bed?” 
“What counts as the wrong thing?” 
Spencer laughs again, softer now, and for a moment he traces your face with his eyes without speaking. “Fine,” he says, waving a hand at you as he makes for the bedroom door, “stay there. But only ‘cos you look so pretty!” 
“Thank you!” you call back. 
This time with Spencer isn’t enough. You need ten more years of this, thirty, fifty, you need to wake up in his arms and have him touch you and tickle your cheek with his breath. He’s too far to have him come back, so you resign to hugging him when he returns. 
Your phone pings again, drawing your attention finally. The first notification is a reminder to buy toothpaste today at the grocery store. The second is a text from a friend, the third an email. It’s one from last night that piques your interest, another friend, full capital letters: HELP. 
Her use of a laughing emoji defers any urgency. You click on the text thread and scroll up, puzzled by her previous messages, a link, and a caption: oh my god he was so dorky??? 
You open the video and feel your breath catch in surprise. 
Is that Spencer?
You're not stupid, you’ve seen photos of him and his friends together dotted around the apartment from over the years, and every time you come across that photo of him and Diana at a spelling bee with his huge black-framed glasses you have to laugh, but it’s different seeing him to hearing him. 
He’s so nervous. You can’t understand what it is he’s saying, something about mathematical components to profiling criminals. Jason Gideon stands in the background watching him closely. 
“There’s actually a good joke that–”
“Spencer,” Gideon reprimands. 
You watch in awe as Spencer stammers an apology, his cheeks a little pink. You’ve seen Spencer blush, but this feels different. He looks so young. His hair is straight as a pin. 
“Spencer, did you used to straighten your hair?” you call, hoping he can hear you over the sound of a frying pan popping in the kitchen. “Or do you have a perm now, or what?” 
“What!” 
“I’m confused on the logistics of your hair!” You feel something weird in your chest as on screen Spencer tucks a stray strand of hair behind his ear. It’s a mixture of wanting to eat him and wanting to reach through the screen to stroke his cheek with your thumb. 
Spencer treks back into the bedroom with his pink and white pinstripe apron over his shirt and sweatpants. He smells like cinnamon sugar already. “What are you talking about?” 
“My friend found a video of you and Jason at one of those lectures you did.” 
Spencer presses his lips together. For a moment, he doesn’t speak. “I didn’t do any lectures.”
“Uh, yes you did, liar, and you looked so cute.” You turn your phone to him. “So sweet.” 
He marches to the bed. Before you can stop him, he’s taking the phone from your hand, giving you the world's silliest, tiniest shove when you try to get it back. 
“Cruel,” you quip. 
Spencer stares at the phone screen, then you, “Sorry,” he says, turning pink, “I don’t know why I did that, just– I just–” He frowns deeply. “Can you stop smiling like that?” 
You climb onto your knees, a morning disaster, but when you wrap your arms around Spencer’s waist he looks at you like you’re perfect. His eyes soften, brows relaxing, his irises like dark dimes that slowly dilate as he looks you over. Your phone presses into your back, his arm wrapping around you. 
“You were adorable,” you say sincerely. 
“Not anymore?” 
You rub your cheek against his apron. “No, you still are. Let me watch the video again.” 
“Not a chance.” 
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beloveds-embrace · 1 month ago
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Thinking about designationless reader...
Imagine how alone she must've been for all her life. It started since she was young, her parents pushing her to the corner of the home, away from the family, and naturally, her siblings would follow their parents' lead, pointedly ignoring her, and finding any excuse available to be out of her presence. She wouldn't understand them anyway, she can't tell the difference between noises nor could she even recognize scents. It just wouldn't work.
Reader thinks that maybe she could find someone, anyone in school, but kids are like sharks, except instead of smelling blood, they smell the lack of all scents on her. Most kids have a combination of their own and their family members' scents. Reader has nothing, so everyone continues the pattern, but now with more stares and jeers and hushed giggles. Reader knows that bullying is bad, but anything would be better than simply not existing to anyone. That's what the others say, at least, that she's nothing, nobody. Never to her face, though, just in the whispers shared between friends.
She eventually tries to find others like her through the wonders of the internet. There's maybe a handful more scattered in her country, but none are her age, and all have their own families who care about them. Was it just her who wasn't deserving of love, of connection? Reader reaches out to them, and they talk a little, but before long, through no one's fault, it falls through. She was bad at talking anyway, even if she doesn't have to worry about scents or sounds that aren't there, she never knew much about context or connotation. She never had the opportunity to learn about the intricacies in communication. Reader is back alone.
The military eventually scouts her, and it's the first time anyone has ever really looked at her. Sure, they look at her like a valuable tool, but a tool is better than nothing. Reader obviously joins, desperate for crumbs. She climbs the ranks, gets the job done. She is good at her job, so people respect her. She learns how to talk professionally, emails, texts, and so one, but no one talks to her on leave. No one invites her to the pub after a good mission. No one even talks to her in the mess. But people do talk to her when they have to, and that's enough. Maybe she even gets a callsign. Doe. After Jane Doe, the placeholder name for unknown individuals, and insult if anything.
Now there's the 141. They invite her to things. They talk to her. They touch her. Reader exists for them. She isn't just an unknown person stuck in the background and invisible to everyone else, and Reader doesn't know what to do. Her speech is awkward and overly professional, even in personal settings. How is she supposed to be friends with someone, multiple someones? How is she supposed to move? To act? To express? She doesn't know, but she really wants to learn. At least now she has good teachers.
ANON YOU GENIUSSSS okay but this? Perfect. AHHHH I ADORE THIS IDEA!! Esp the jane doe callsign omg yes
You weren’t used to being seen.
Growing up, you learned quickly how to make yourself small- how to exist quietly, without taking up space, without asking for too much. Because the few times you had asked- asked for a hug, asked to be let into the nest, asked why you felt so different- the answers had all been the same.
No.
Not now.
Not you.
It wasn’t that your parents didn’t love you. You were sure they did, in their own way. But love was hard to feel when your mother flinched at your touch like you were something disgusting, when your father sighed like he was tired every time you entered the room as if you were taking up space he was saving for his other children. When your siblings built their nests without you, curling into piles of warmth and safety while you sat outside the door, knees pulled to your chest and hands balled into fists to keep them from knocking, a cold ache burrowing itself in your chest.
You stopped knocking eventually.
You stopped trying.
You used to wonder if you’d done something wrong- if maybe you could fix yourself and everything would go back to normal. But it wasn’t something you could fix. It was just… you.
Scentless.
Designationless.
Invisible.
School had been worse, perhaps the worst. At least your family had pretended not to notice how different you were. The other kids didn’t bother pretending. They stared openly, whispered behind your back, laughed when you walked by. You’d caught bits and pieces of what they said- weird, wrong, broken, as if they hoped by having you hear their words, they’d convince you to leave at last.
You’d started keeping your head down after that, slipping through the halls like a shadow. No one talked to you unless they had to, and even then they either did it with a mocking, jeering tone that echoes in your nightmares or with a meek tone; as if your lack of everything is contagious. No one sat next to you at lunch, either. When partners were assigned, you always ended up working alone per your teachers’ instructions.
It was easier that way.
At least, that’s what you told yourself.
By the time you joined the military, you’d gotten good at being alone. You didn’t need friends. Didn’t need packmates. You had work, and work didn’t care if you were quiet or awkward or too stiff to laugh at the right jokes. Work didn’t care if you flinched when people got too close or froze when someone raised their voice. Work demanded to be done, and you had nothing and no one to stop you from that.
But the military also has the same teens who used to bully you so consistently. Rookies all to ready and happy to lord over you. It’s how you get your despised callsign, Doe. Jane Doe. A cruel mockery, comedy wherein you are the joke that has the world laughing.
Still, you wear it. It’s still an acknowledgment and that will always be better than never being seen. You flit from team to team, unit to unit, always an observer from afar, watching everyone around you speak a language you can’t.
But the 141 was different, when you eventually end up working for them.
They cared.
They cared in ways you weren’t ready for.
Soap was relentless, dragging you into conversations even when you barely knew what to say. He filled the silences like it didn’t bother him, kept talking for the both of you, lounging against you unbothered, until you started talking back. Gaz was gentlest, steadier. He never pushed, just lingered close enough to remind you he was there, waiting, whenever you were ready. Quiet, silent acceptance you’d never been given before, and you were yet far too afraid to so easily cling to it.
And the Alphas- Price and Ghost- were worse.
Price had a way of looking at you that made your chest ache, like he saw you, really saw you, and didn’t mind what he found. Scentless, with no designation and all. Ghost was quieter, sharper, but his eyes tracked you everywhere, presence wrapping around you like he was staking a claim you didn’t understand, like he was teying to etch every part of you behind his eyelids.
You didn’t know what to do with it.
They didn’t give you space. They sat next to you at meals, tugged you along when they went out for drinks, called you over during breaks like it was the most natural thing in the world. And it felt natural- until it didn’t, because sometimes you still felt like an outsider.
Like you didn’t belong.
You tried to hide it, but they saw through you. They always did, and they never shied away.
When you started avoiding the mess hall, it was Gaz who caught you, shoving a plate of food into your hands and dragging you to sit with him like it wasn’t a big deal. When you hung back during missions, letting the others fall into their pack dynamics without you, Soap was the one who looped an arm around your shoulders and pulled.
And when you flinched, once, at the sharp sound of someone’s voice echoing down the hall- when you tensed so hard it made your fingers tremble- it was Price who closed the distance, standing in front of you like a wall and letting Ghost linger at your back. Neither of them said a word.
They didn’t have to.
You weren’t used to being protected. You weren’t used to belonging.
But they made it hard not to.
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julymusings · 3 months ago
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Jason Todd x Single Mom!Reader
I've been plagued for many months now by the idea of jason todd x young single mom!reader. I literally made this blog this morning just to post this
this is so LONG try as i might to shorten it i've been itching to get all this out of me so enjoy this word vomit i might just make a full fic if i'm feeling extra frisky
You got pregnant in college, and now you’re fresh out of grad school moving to a new city with your 3 year old daughter
You got a job at Wayne Enterprises, leading an important new project. You and your colleagues are invited to the latest Wayne Gala, hosted at the billionaire’s own manor. All these years as a young mother and a student, you hadn’t any experience with such extravagance-- how could you say no?
the party lowkey sucks because it's all old rich people so you sneak out to a balcony where you find a young man drinking whiskey and texting on his phone.
he introduces himself as jason, and his hand is rough and calloused when you shake it, but it's warm and sends a tingle up your arm. (😏)
You chat about your work, he complains about the stuffiness of a life at Wayne Enterprises and you laugh when he warns you to get out while you can (he's joking, of course. not because he thinks it's worth staying but because if you leave he'd never be able to hear that adorable laugh again)
when you go off on a tangent about how excited you are for your project, he's not even listening anymore. the sheer passion that lights up your face has his mind going fuzzy and a full orchestra playing in the background
you're pulled back in before he can get your number :( he's so mopey all weekend he doesn't even have it in him to retaliate when damian makes fun of him for having pink pony club as his top song for this month :(
when you get home your email is flooded with warnings from other parents at your daughter's daycare about a lice scare?? okay, you think, she's definitely not going on monday, you can just bring her to work with you, right? what's the worst that could happen?
the following monday he just happens to show up at the office (He can't just stop by to say hi to his brother who he loves?) (tim calls security almost immediately)
you're not at your cubicle (in a meeting, your desk neighbor informs him) so he mills about the floor like a lost puppy just waiting for you to show up so he can "accidentally" run into you
the woman at the front desk has a chair pulled up next to hers where this little girl with pigtails is sitting, trying to console her as tears stream down her face
jason springs into action, kneeling in front of her chair to ask what's wrong
she just sniffles and holds up her stuffed animal, an elephant whose button eye has popped out, the woman watching her trying to get her to hand it over so she can sew it back on but she wont let go
he goes full grey's anatomy, fussing over the toy like it's in mortal peril and complimenting her for being so brave before gently asking if he can try to fix it
she lets him take it and he uses the woman's travel sewing kit to stitch it back on
she's ecstatic, leaping forward into his arms to give him a big hug
but now she won't let him leave because no he has to have a conversation with the elephant first and introduce himself and give it post-surgery care instructions and listen to it talk about how much she it wants a puppy and he feels like such an idiot talking to that thing but anything to make this little girl smile
she pulls a little picture book from the backpack hung on the back of her chair and asks him to read with her and he can't just say no!
so he plops down on the tile floor and starts reading out loud and even though she's standing next to him craning her neck to see the pictures he's a head taller than her
when you finish your meeting and head back to the front desk to thank gretchen for watching your kid the sight you see makes your heart absolutely melt
jason and your daughter are sitting criss-cross applesauce on the floor of Wayne Enterprises as he reads to her, and he's pulling out all the stops, he's doing voices, sound effects, and she's giggling so hard she can't sit up straight
but then they both finally notice you
"mommy!" she yells, running to you and wrapping herself around your leg
you're surprised to see him, but definitely not disappointed, and if what you just walked in on indicated anything, it was that you wanted, nay, needed this man
so now you're flushed and hopeful, mind running with possibilities of why he's here; could it be? he couldn't stop thinking about you either? he came all the way to ask you out?
but jason is also surprised, astounded even, by the miniature carbon copy clinging to your leg saying something about scooby snacks
he's freaking out on the inside
through a tight-lipped greeting he excuses himself with what he hopes is a neutral demeanor (spoiler alert: it's not) and goes home to think
and you obviously know exactly what that was about, one doesn't go through pregnancy at 19 without becoming well-acquainted with the whole catalogue of surprised/judgy reactions
of course you're a mess because the early/mid 20s dating scene is hard enough as it is but with a toddler? forget it, might as well just give up now
you go home to call your best friend and get drunk over face time while she assures you that men aint shit and offers to put a curse on him (you consider it, but how are you supposed to get a lock of his hair?)
he's up all night hating himself for being such an asshole and trying to come up with a scenario in which this works, in which he can have you in his life and also a child and be the red hood because he can't stop thinking about you
so then he just says fuck it and the next morning he shows up at your office with flowers and a puppy stuffed animal and finally asks you out
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midnightorchids · 3 months ago
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i am frothing at the mouth at firefighter!Jason🤤
I’ m imagining Jason accidentally bumping into reader who so happens to be a school teacher and he can’t help but flirt just a little bit whilst the class of kids he’s educating on fire safety look at them both with wide eyes😃
I absolutely love this idea so much! I wrote something based off of this ask and low key went a little overboard with world building, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless!
Field trip mornings always created an exciting buzz amongst your students. Their gentle chatter filled the chilly parking lot of the old school and you giggled at their enthusiasm.
The moment brought a sense of nostalgia, it engulfed your heart in a warm embrace. It reminded you of your days in elementary school. The memories of bitter autumn mornings and your teacher’s frustrated attitudes played before your eyes. You smiled thinking about your past and how those small experiences inspired you to pursue a teaching career.
This field trip was a special one as it happened to fall on Halloween Day. The children complained about having to come to school on the holiday, but as soon as you mentioned that they could come costumed, the excitement was back. Your third grade class did not disappoint, they were all dressed in bright costumes for their first ever visit to the fire station.
The bus ride was fairly normal. The children were a mix of both calm and rowdy. You intervened every once in a while when their noise level got too loud, otherwise the students were well behaved.
Entering the fire station was like entering a dream. The foyer of the building was warm and inviting. The heat radiated off of the walls and it made you slip off your coat. There were Halloween decorations coating the pale walls and you watched your children ooh and ahh with excitement.
Your eyes were still scanning the room when a tall man walked over towards you. He wore his uniform around his waist with a black compression shirt that hugged his body. You could see a sleeve of tattoos on display and a thin silver chain peaking through from under his shirt. Despite not wearing your coat anymore, you still felt your body heat up.
You stared at his name tag—Jason, it read. You recalled the name from the numerous emails and phone calls you had exchanged in order to make this tour happen. You always thought his voice was sweet, but you had never imagined him looking like this.
He was attractive—breathtakingly so. His eyes radiated a bright shade of emerald and were full of life. He had heavy bags under his eyes, which, you assumed, were from working long hours at the station. His facial features were sharp. His cheekbones stood high and his hooked nose sat perfectly poised on his face. He looked like a Roman sculpture. Your eyes trailed down to his lips and you noticed a small scar on the right side of his mouth. You felt your fingers twitch, almost as if they were itching to trace the mark.
Jason cleared his throat, pulling you out of your deep trance and you felt goosebumps trailing your skin. You quickly spoke up, trying to ease the tension.
“Hello, my apologies, I completely zoned out, it’s been a long morning,” you said, desperately hoping that he believed the poor excuse you made to justify openly checking out the man.
You suddenly felt even more uncomfortable, you looked to your side only to notice all of your students staring right at you. You felt yourself getting flustered again, but quickly moved past the feeling. You extended your hand to shake Jason’s calloused ones. His eyes raked your figure and he gave you a sly smile.
“It’s okay,” he responded gently. “Shall we get started with the visit,” he changed the subject quickly and you couldn’t be happier.
Jason turned his attention towards the children and greeted them with an enthusiastic expression, his passion for his job clearly reflected in his way of speaking.
He led your tiny class towards the breakout rooms of the fire station. On the way to the rooms, Jason pointed out one of the girl’s Wonder Woman costumes and he shrieked in an endearing sort of way. He kneeled to the girl’s height and handed her a small sticker. She smiled, thanking him. Jason then locked his eyes with yours and called the girl pretty, and you knew at that moment that the comment was not only for her, but for you too. You felt a rush of heat run through your cheeks and up to your ears.
The breakout rooms were similar to the foyer of the fire station. There were little skeletons propped up against the whiteboards and small jack-o-lanterns on each desk.
Once the children had settled, Jason handed the rest of them with fun stickers and pamphlets about fire safety for them to take home. He joked with the kids, and managed to sneak in a fire pun every now and then. He was a good listener, he paid attention to everything the children had to share. You turned your head to the side and silently admired his ability to work with the kids; not everyone could handle a group of eight-year-olds first thing in the morning.
Jason quickly gave the class a presentation about the dangers of fires and the importance of protecting yourselves when dealing with hot objects. It was odd, he wasn’t even trying to hide his flirtatious comments, he’d stare right at you upon the very mention of the word “hot.”
You noticed Jason had a habit of walking around the room, maybe it was to keep the students engaged or maybe he did it for his own reasons. But it had got to the point where he’d brush past you, almost purposefully. The parts of your skin that made contact with his body were on fire.
After the presentation, Jason decided it would be best if the kids got a quick break before continuing the tour of the fire station. You happily agreed, needing a break yourself.
You sat on a chair close to the exit, when one of your students came to you on the verge of tears—the culprit being a paper cut. You cooed at the child, gently cupping their much smaller hand and guiding them to your first aid kit. Unknown to you, Jason was watching the interaction play out.
He hadn’t known you long, but he thought you were stunning. The way your eyes crinkled when you smiled, the way your features sat against your skin, and the way you spoke with such eloquence. It was everything he found attractive, but seeing you showcase such patience with the “wounded” child, made his heart race. Not only were you beautiful, but you were kind—to Jason, in the very little time he had known you, you felt like an angel.
“Do you like them,” a small voice suddenly spoke. It was the Wonder Woman from earlier and Jason smiled.
“Ah the lovely Wonder Woman is back,” he replied, ignoring the child’s question. The little girl giggled.
“I think you have a crush on my teacher,” Jason raised his eyebrow. What did this little girl know about crushes? The child laughed again and said, “I think she might like you back.”
“What makes you say that,” Jason inquired, now suddenly interested. The little girl shrugged and made a face.
“I dunno,” and with that, she ran off, leaving Jason confused.
After the break, Jason guided the students to the main hall to show them the fire trucks. The energy was high in the room, the kids were beaming with excitement. The tension between you and Jason only seemed to rise though. With every passing flirtatious comment and every lingering look, you felt yourself getting more anxious. How inappropriate would it be if you asked for his number at the end of the field trip… you caught yourself thinking.
It was as if Jason had read your mind because at the end of the tour, he pulled you aside to thank you for bringing in the children and letting him have the opportunity to teach them. You grinned and also expressed your gratitude. You began to walk towards the students, when Jason grabbed your wrist and held onto you gently. He slipped a piece of paper into your palm and sent you a quick wink before heading out.
You stared at the small paper and slowly opened it.
Inside, the words read in messy lines, “call me,” with a string of numbers. You looked into the direction that Jason left, and smiled to yourself.
You were definitely going to call him.
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luna-azzurra · 4 months ago
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Grumpy & Sunshine Affection Prompts
She’s always poking his cheek just to annoy him, and he rolls his eyes but eventually pulls her into a tight hug, grumbling the whole time.
He pretends not to care about her constant positivity, but secretly, he loves how bright she makes his day.
She loves dragging him to new places, and he grumbles the entire time, only to secretly smile when she’s not looking.
He shows affection in small ways, like adjusting her scarf, holding an umbrella over her in the rain, or bringing her coffee, acting like it’s no big deal, but she knows it’s his way of caring.
She sneaks up behind him to give surprise hugs, and he sighs but doesn’t push her away.
He hates public displays of affection, but when she grabs his hand in front of everyone, he blushes and tightens his grip.
She playfully compliments him all the time, watching him blush and mutter, "Stop embarrassing me."
He tucks a stray hair behind her ear when she’s too busy talking to notice, and when she smiles at him, he pretends he didn’t do it.
She gives him little kisses on the cheek at random times, and he tries to act grumpy, but his usual scowl softens every time.
He always carries her bags or holds the door open without being asked, and she always smiles at him, which he pretends not to notice.
if you have questions or feedback on writing materials, please send me an email at [email protected] ✍🏻
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