#eldest cousin things

[loopy4lu]

yesterday was my mums birthday. today we celebrated it with family. i spent the whole afternoon helping set up as an adult. i was the only child helping. the others were completely able to refuse. i help with every step, including passing out dessert. i bring cake to everyone, even my cousin whos taking a breather in the other room. after finishing handing out everything i was asked to, i come back to the cake to find four bowls. two of the bowls follow my nan and i think "oh one must be for me" but each are taken by someone. theres two bowls left. the cake is packed away. the last two people leave. with the last two bowls. my own mother, who was cutting the cake, has forgotten to give her daughter, who loves chocolate cake, a slice of her chocolate birthday cake. everyone has left the room. im following them outside when i reach the door and have to take an extremely deep breath to avoid screaming at the world.

once i finally head outside, everyone is sitting down. i take my seat in the corner. someone glances over at me. i avoid eye contact. "wheres yours?" immediately tears in my eyes. i shrug, "i didnt get one" and my voice breaks. tears steeam down my cheeks. my poor mother whos birthday celebration i feel ive just ruined, apologises profusely and pulls me to the kitchen so i can finally get a slice. everyones confused on why im upset as once again there was a lack of focus on my needs. she gives me a massive slice, not out of kindness but of guilt. she knows i wont eat it all. she knows its a waste, and she knows ill be embarrassed about said waste.

i sit down with my overly large slice. a couple of people try to take the blame. i apologise and tell them its fine, while still uncontrollably crying. we all eat our cake. i get less than halfway when im full. i once again am asked to do things for people when i bring in several plates. after weve eaten theres no further mention of the mistake, and no question as to if im ok and if i want to step inside, even though i am still crying consistently, and even though my sister had been asked many times if she wanted to go inside earlier in the event.

eventually i finally am given the oppurtunity to leave. i sit there as people pack up. i offer to help my mum a couple of times but she turns away. i sit alone. teary eyed. sniffling. feeling stupid and immature for being upset about this. too many sympathetic looks. random stories to try and distract me from my sadness, which are then interrupted for others to say goodbye. perfectly reasonable but still feels as though i am being ignored, especially when they dont even look in my direction. i get two byes that afternoon. one side hug. we head out to our car. i am unable to cry to myself for the next hour and a half. i dustract myself. i get home. evsrythings ok. it didnt matter.

except it did. it really did matter to me. after feeling like im in the back of peoples minds for weeks, this confirmation hit me like a trainwreck. i cant even get upset or moody about it because im supposed to act like an adult in front of others now. except for the fact im not an adult. im a moody, depressed, anxious teen who feels ignored by the world and wants to scream all their misfortunes into the hot summer air. im so tired of acting like the perfect mature cousin when im not and nobody even likes me anyway. theres not really a point anymore. but i will continue to. the only thing that keeps me going is hope, so why not let it determine my mental state. maybe theyll remember me next time.

[oopsallmabari]

i'm just happy that when playing inq i saw that the trevelyans are a noble family noted for their piety and service to the chantry and eventually said 'got it. so the trevelyans quietly have the long-term goal of controlling at least 1 of the circles and eventually installing one of their own on the sunburst throne'. it took me a second to get fun with it but eventually i got there

[somuchstrdst]

life's so fleeting 😔

[betty-bourgeoisie]

Being an eldest daughter sucks ass, but being an eldest granddaughter is a privileges and an honor, so I think it evens out

[amethysttribble]

You know, I kind of feel like wider fandom trends (tho not only fandom; this is very very present in mainstream media and has bothered me for a long time) has pushed this… preoccupation with oddly strict older&younger sibling dynamics, wherein the older takes care of the younger, and the younger exists as a vessel for the older’s suffering and sacrifice

There’s this weird dynamic of debt, actually? Like, poor put upon Eldest Daughter Syndrome Character #1,348 has done so much for the younger one(s) they should be grateful. And if that younger sibling character is not appropriately Grateful, they are a horrible annoying brat that our sainted eldest must suffer through

In fact, the only way in general to make up for the sin of being the Younger Sibling (implied to be an inherent burden to our theoretical blorbo eldest) is to either be uwu soft and grateful, and/or Step-Up and Take On responsibility for the eldest and provide some comfort to this hurt

It’s all very *waves hand to gesture in Crazy-ex Girlfriend musical number*:

“After everything I’ve done for you-“ “-that I didn’t ask for!”

That younger sibling character is still a character, you know? Not a prop to make the eldest look good or put-upon.

[iamthescalesofjustice]

aunt and her grandkid (cousin's son, 6) are over bc their AC is out for the moment, kid watching minecraft vids. discovered that aunt does not pay enough attention to what he watches to know the name of the actual channel he likes, so if autoplay dumps him into one of apparently several knockoff/parody channels again she cant tell and just assumes that some of these peoples videos arent appropriate. have been trying to teach her how to set him up on a playlist on the actual channel but its rough going.

[none-tadashi-left-hiro]

It's like....m my voice and my actions have the power to influence things.... But yet something always stays the same.... And to what extent does it change things..... Is there ever positive everlasting change from any of my actions......... What am I doing all of this forrrr who am I doing it for.......

[bunni-bun]

🥲.

[hazardsoflove]

some of yalls hyperspecific polls are just extremely common things

[straykats]

screams and shouts

[hershelwidget]

once again thinking about that time i finished with my dentist and as she came out to get my father she was surprised to see my dad (who looks like a white guy) and the reason for her surprise was because our last name is Very Chinese (family on dad’s side is chinese) and she was Expecting. a guy who looks a lot more asian . the fact that me and my brother look more asian than he does makes it funnier

[jaseisdory]

I love it when there's choas that most associate with Dan, Dani, and Danny.

___

Dan, Dani and Danny just finished a meeting with the Justice League (with the YJL on the side lines just being nosey) to talk about alliances between the League and the Phantoms.

Superman: Phantom.

Dan, Dani and Danny: Yes.

Flash: Wait, you're all Phantom?

Dani: Yeah, it's our family name, duh.

Superman: We prefer to work with the eldest Phantom-

Danny, who still looks the same age he died but is actually 15: That would be me.

Everyone is shocked.

Dan, scoffed: We're ghosts, our physical age doesn't reflect our actual ages.

Kid Flash: Wait, how old are you guys?

Dan: 4 years old.

Dani: 6 months old.

Dan: Baby-

Dani just stuck out her tongue.

Danny: I'm 15.

Robin: But you show up throughout history?

Danny: I do odd jobs for the ghost of time.

Green Latern: We'll circle back to that later. So, how are you guys related?

Dan: We're the same person.

JL + YJL: Wha-?

Dan: Me and her are variations of that one.

Batman: Elaborate.

Dan: I'm from another timeline that doesn't exist anymore.

Dani: I'm his clone!

Danny: And I'm just Danny.

Flash: Didn't you call her your cousin? Wouldn't she be your daughter?

Danny: It's interchangeable, we change what we call each other everyday. Sometimes I'm their brother, cousin or parent. Which one depends on the day.

Dan: We honestly don't care.

Flash: Since you're from a destroyed timeline, wouldn't she also be your clone too?

Dan: Naw, it's a little more complex than that.

Dani: He's actually combined ghosts of Danny and Plasmius combined with Danny's memories. In hindsight, that makes him their child. Which means we're actually full siblings.

Danny: Which is weird since Plasmius is actually an old man with an unhealthy obsession with my mom and me. He was my parents' college friend and is my godfather and arch nemesis.

Kid Flash: ... There is so many things wrong with that statement.

Danny: And that's why we call him a fruitloop.

Aqualad: There seems to be an issue with archnemesises cloning their hero counterparts.

Dani, squealing: THERES ANOTHER CLONE!!

Superboy: Hi.

Dani, suddenly in Superboy's face: Mom, look! He can pass off as one of us.

Robin: That makes no sense, he has blue eyes and black hair, you have white hair and green eyes.

All three Phantoms, with an inhumanly large and toothy grin, turned human: You sure 'bout that?

Batman: You have human disguises?

Danny: Sure, we'll go with that.

Dani, on Superboy's back: Can we keep him?

Dan: He'll fit right in.

Danny: Superman is his dad-

Superman, bristling: Its not my son.

The Phantoms just stare at him:...

Danny: No.

JL: ??

Dan: I won't make a mess.

JL, confused: ??

Dani: I'll help with clean up.

JL, concerned: !?!?

Danny: No, now help me convince Superboy to join our fraid.

[buttercuparry]

I know I sound like a broken record by now: repeating the same things others have said before but I think banality of it all is the point of my post. The fact that I have nothing new to say– not about the genocide in Gaza, not about the dwindling attention of allies, is HORRIFYING. 

It has been 11 months of a genocide that the UN calls “war on children”. Malnutrition, diseases, lack of suitable medical care have caused Gazan children to lose their childhood; to lose their lives entirely!  

There is no hope left for a future unmarked of pain and my friend Siraj Abudayeh ( @siraj2024 ) , who is father to three sons describes it as a “feeling of oppression”.  He laments that his children have been forced away from their schools, hopes and dreams  by colonizers and where before there were ambitions to excel in either studies or sports, all they know now is helplessness, fear and anger. 

Siraj has told me how his children- Abed, Muhammad and Amir have confessed to their father about how they have begun to  feel guilty for surviving at all now ; after having lost so many of their friends to the genocide they are experiencing survivor's guilt and it breaks my heart to hear that. Abed, the eldest son, is ONLY ELEVEN!!  Can you imagine an eleven year old feeling guilty because he has managed to survive while his friends haven't ? And what kind of survival it is– Half starving, drinking unclean water, forced into tents where sand mites pester him throughout the day?

I am not sure what happened or why the engagement with fundraisers has dropped so drastically lately but there is nothing more atrocious, more horrible than apathy when children are suffering.  It is so strange that we can quote James Baldwin so easily and yet have failed to understand what he meant when he said,

"The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe; ...whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality. ”

We have the power that is not afforded to Gazans and therefore it is on us to be attentive no matter how repetitive these posts feel. It is ridiculous and dehumanizing that during a genocide one has to worry about making a post original enough to maintain attention. And yes I know that we won't be able to stop the horrifying banality of Israel’s evil in a day but WE CAN help provide FIVE families that are dependent on this fundraiser with a lifeline during times such as these.  

Please we have managed to get this far after struggling for so long, it cannot be that we will fail Siraj when he is so close to the end goal of 82k !!

So DONATE AND BOOST. Find it in yourself to not just reblog but circulate the fundraiser among your colleagues, friends and family. Share it in your whatsapp chats and discord servers. Share it on every other platform that you may have a reach on.

Currently at $72,987 CAD of the short term goal of 75k. We have 2k left to raise by tomorrow. 

Vetting at 219

[winterchestnut]

Pardon the SOBBING.

Someone on love and deepspace twitter mentioned that "Caleb is for the only child daughters," but they also included eldest daughters.

Caleb is for the ones that grew up with no one to rely on, who grew up and matured too fast, and ALONE.

As a guy who had lots of half-siblings (one of my parents decided to have too many kids *bombastic side eye*) and never grew up with any of them, BUT I was considered the most mature out of my cousins and subsequently had to take care of them when my older teenage cousins and the adults decided to fuck around and abandon us, that hit hard. Like

"Wdym, Caleb is openly giving me someone to rely on? Who's practically BEGGING me to call him when I need something or someone?¿?¿¿ When it's my turn to ask for help after years of "I dunno, you figure it out." Now, it's my turn to be sheltered and taken care of by someone who has been in love and obsessed with me since we were kids?¿¿?" Bc, I Am Tired. Like, "Sorry, mom and dad I'm not the perfect Asian child that wanted to become a doctor."

This bitch even notices when we have a little booboo on our finger. From a photograph.

I know I'm laughing and joking around with Caleb's whole lowkey yandere🤪theme, but I wish someone irl were this forward and caring for me.

And one more thing, someone responded to me that they like to immerse themself into MC and that they feel like they can "be themselves" with Caleb (bc MC very much has her own personality and she acts slightly different with each LI), compared to with the other LI's where they felt like they need to be more badass, more clever, more snarky. And I felt that. I like Rafayel, but I'm genuinely not an optimistic person who can keep up with him. I like Sylus, but sometimes I don't want to "handle it" and be MORE than who I am now. I like Zayne and Xavier, but I wholly understand that I am a toxic person and they don't deserve to take the brunt of my mental health.

Edit: I have to mention it, or else people will get the wrong idea, apparently. It's blatantly obvious each love interest supports and loves MC no matter what–that should be an unspoken law in LaDS. What I didn't say is "Sylus Never supports or helps MC."

[heatwa-ves]

arjun on the brain

[l0s3rd0wnt0wn]

what would be the reaction of the batfamily if the reader took his mother's last name

OOH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE

The reader took their mother's last name when they got older. It was never an act of retaliation or rebellion; it was simply to respect their mother and her family. The reader had grown up with strong family ties to their mother's side, with their aunts, uncles, and cousins. Even if their aunts were just their mother's friends, it never really mattered—blood family or not, they still loved them. But, being a Wayne, they never really felt the love from their half-siblings or adopted siblings. For a long while, they thought something was wrong with them, and that their siblings were ashamed of them. At galas, they would ignore them; they wouldn't introduce their friends. They felt unseen and unheard of. So, changing their last name just made sense. They were never treated like one of them, so they weren't one of them. That's just how it was. When the talk show host asks why you changed your name, you'll just lie and say...

"Sorry, I'm a mama's boy/girl," you say with a laugh, knowing that the press will never understand how isolated you feel with the Waynes. This whole name-changing thing really irks Damian the most; he didn't get why you wanted your mother's last name. She had no history, no great wealth, no family ties deeper than the roots in the ground. He didn't get it. You should be proud to be a Wayne, but even if that name holds roots deeper than an oak tree, that last name didn't hold love or care. Sure, that last name could take you anywhere in the world, but it never really made you feel like you were part of the big family they preached so hard about.

When Bruce said it was your distinction, but he wished you never made it, honestly, I mean, you're a Wayne; you've been one since the day you were born. Why would you be ashamed of the Wayne name? People love it, people adore it, people connect with it. Why would you ever want to change it? I mean, you're his child, one of his eldest; you could inherit his empire. Why ignore the family ties that hold you together like glue? Maybe that's the reason you don't want to be tied down; you don't want to be stuck together like glue; you don't want to be seen as just another Wayne kid, but it doesn't really matter, does it? Blood is thicker than mud, and you have a generation of Waynes running through your veins.