#i only know up to her dad i dont know about my great+ grandparents on her side | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

justtogetthrough · 2 years ago

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At the end of the call she thanked me for calling her and allowing her the opportunity to help because she loves me so much and thinks of me so often. I told her that while I was driving and just, trying to figure out what the fuck to do about any of this and knowing I needed help and turning it all over and over in my mind, she was the only person I actually wanted to talk to. She said that made her want to cry and that I will always have her, and I'm never alone because she is always a call away. This is a woman where even after meeting her once or twice when she and my dad started seeing each other, she made sure I knew her home (which my dad moved into) was always open to me, any time, for however long I need, hell I could even just show up without calling if I needed to. There have been times where I've needed to get away/not be by myself and I bring my cats and stay for 2 or 3 weeks.

I just have issues around asking for help and if I go there it means I'm around my dad and that's the hard part lol.

It's so hard to maintain relationships and this past year has been the worst, I've just cut myself off from everyone. So to be in an (extended) moment of panic and be like. I need help. Who do I ask. I knew who would respond favourably and even then her response was above and beyond my wildest dreams of the kind of love I needed right then 🥺

Welp it's Friday night and I'm at the end of my vacation time and I did not do any of the things I set out to do on my time off.

I stopped by my house today to check on it myself for the first time in 5 weeks and found a mess made by mice. Had a meltdown and could not do the other things I needed to in that town and came right home instead. Sobbed in the car. Pulled off to the shoulder half way through the drive to text the only person in the world I could think of to help me get through the problems I'm currently having and not make me feel like shit about myself because of them, my dad's wife. I asked her if she might have time tonight or tomorrow for a phone call because I need guidance and I feel so lost and helpless. She wrote back, "I always have time for you."

It broke me but like, in a good way.

I needed to hear that.

And the weird part is I actually believe her.

#over christmas my friend's parents were asking me a bit about my family traditions and stuff and blended families came up #my friend burst out laughing and was like. she knows ALL ABOUT THAT #my friend cant even keep track of who i mean when i use relationship terms like step mom or sister #i have so many layers of blend. my blood family are so minimal in my life but all the other people whove come and gone remain #who i consider my family to be. bc they have cared for me way more than my blood family did #this step mom i try to refer to as my dads wife for clarity but that role doesnt do her justice. my moms ex wife was great to me #but i think this step mom is #number 1. shes the parent i need and wish id had from the beginning. my moms wife was so good to me as a teenager and i needed that #and even tho tbey divorced ages ago we still stay in touch and she donated to my step sons top surgery despite only meeting him once #shes amazing. and her kids will always be my step sisters and i love em so much. and my dads wife is amazing. i dont know her kids too well #and then i have my step son whose parent ive had blocked over a year and a half but he will always be my kid.#and I stay close with his grandparents aka my exs parents bc theyre family since kiddo is my family. they know who their daughter is 😂#ive been to stay with them while mr and their daughter havent even been talking bc im their grandsons caregiver and im therefore family #its funny how ive got this tangled weave of blended families and yet i still feel like im floating alone #bc my ability to even feel part of a family has been so destroyed by early neglect and abandonment trauma #the people are THERE. i just cant find safety in it because i have an aTtAcHmEnT dIsOrDeR #personal

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suffarustuffaru · 10 months ago

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What do you think would’ve happened if Heinkel had been the one to fall into a coma instead of Louanna? I just think the potential of that is very juicy because like that completely changes the Astrea family dynamics!

oh i ADORE this idea so much!!! arghhh i love astrea family dynamics so much and i really really like each member - though of course i hope we learn more about louanna soon!!! im so curious about her and everyone in the family BUT her is at least decently fleshed out already!! but yes okay this idea is great and also Everyone in these reddit threads have brainstormed all kinds of ideas for Other Astrea Members Falling Comatose (heinkel, reinhard, theresia, or wilhelm) far far better than i could so if anyone seeing this hasnt seen those i highly recommend reading!! super fun ideas going on <3

but yeah my quick two cents on heinkel specifically going comatose is that, like people have mentioned in those threads that stuff would happen differently. marcos doesnt rejoin the royal guard, reinhard probably doesnt get the dp of mind changing, wilhelm might die to the whale instead since heinkel isnt around to get sent on a suicide mission and wilhelm Would Not Back Down from that, etc etc. or did theresia get sent to kill the whale right away while wilhelm like in canon went to deal with the royal family?? that sort of thing.

i think ultimately we dont 100% know what would happen on the louanna side of things just because. we dont know anything about how she was as a person hah so hard to predict!! but i think things would probablyy turn out a little better given everything i just mentioned. and also the bar for how canon went is super low anyway aljsdfl. but yeah i mean louanna seems like she might cope a little better (i mean. shes Probablyy not the type to fall into alcoholism right haha). or she might Also Cope Badly, depending on how you wanna interpret this. and depending on how louanna turns out to be as a person. and Someone is still gonna die to the whale probably. so things are Not That Great and also heinkel being comatose means he wont be head of the house. louanna in this situation either way would need to take charge - both in the sense that uh, in the end it'll just be her and one of reinhard's grandparents left around, and also in the sense that she is reinhards only parent left now. and also reinhard Might get a bit more pressure to hurry into the royal guard sooner. he'll get compared to his comatose MIA dad im sure :(( esp since heinkel is. frozen in time.

theres Always something chilling about how in canon, long term sleeping beauty syndrome victims are just. Stuck. in time. forever frozen. never aging a single day from the moment they were gone. thats Haunting. thats like living with a ghost thats still there. and in this au itd be heinkel!! heinkel whos still at his prime and hasnt truly had a permanent failure yet (losing his mom to the whale, losing louanna to a coma, etc etc), and of course like canon heinkel, louannas left to pick up the pieces which is always really sad to me :(( she and heinkel were young too when all of this started to go wrong T^T like Still Adults, of course, but still young!! like shes 21 and hes 22 T^TT wild stuff.

also i do agree with people who said that louanna might just wack reinhard over the head for kidnapping felt like that. 1000%.

anyway!!! astrea family drama still goes Wrong i think somehow, in another font, if heinkel or anyone else is the one that gets put into a coma :(( it might be better or worse depending on what happens!! and depending on who gets comatose and who Dies!! but yes i think everything goes a bit wrong either way :(( they can never win T^T but itd shift dynamics around every time which is the fun part!!

#rezero #re:zero #would be fucking funny though if the astreas all joined different camps again. theyre collecting camps like pokemons and the camps are #collecting astreas #louanna can join. ana ig. idk. but i do love the fan idea that in timelines where the astreas are on better terms they just!! decide to joi #different camps so their chances of getting dragon blood to help heal Whoevers Comatose In The Family is higher!!#thats such a sweet subversion ;-;;;#reinhard van astrea #louanna astrea #heinkel astrea #ask

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arsenicandnewlace · 4 months ago

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Sometimes i just let my mind drift. I'll listen to something and get my mind do its own thing in the backseat. Occasionally something will come of it, a revelation about a past event in a new light, a realization of a feeling i've had but couldn't name, or turning a relationship around and looking at it from a new light.

Lately, when i do this I come out of it with something about family. I just came back from visiting my half sister, a great visit, we had a great time. We connected for the first time (we've met in person maybe twice before.) And we talked, a lot. Exchanged family information, talked about health and sexuality (we're all bi and pan now! Dad would be furious 🩵🩵🩵), about similarities and differences. Talked about our dad and the family we technically share. I say technically because we are both about equally estranged from them at this point in my life.

Both of my paternal grandparents are dead. They died when i was 8 and 19 respectively. I wasnt upset by this for the longest time because I didnt really know them. I knew OF them, knew their names, knew they existed. John and Mildred. I knew the stories, that i was the first grandchild my grandfather ever held because my mom basically dropped me into his arms despite his protests, and after that he never wanted to put me or the other kids down.

But i didnt know how much of a power house my grandmother was. How she hated being called Mildred and only answered to Millie. How all the other grandkids called them Nanny and Papa; how I was the only one who called them Grandma and Grandpa. I never knew until recently, that my grandmother lamented not being closer to me.

I was a child and i didn't know better. They were nothing more than a concept to me, much like a majority of my family. It seemed normal to have grandparents that weren't involved in your life at all.

I let my mind drift and it wondered. If as a child, if I had just picked up the phone and called them. Before the fear took root in my core and the phone seemed like an enemy. If i didn't ask my parents (my father would have found an excuse, my mother would have been delighted but she would have hovered). If I had just called her, would we have kept calling? Every week, even for an hour? Even as the fear and anxiety and anger took root. Even as my father found excuse after excuse and left and blamed my mother and my sister and me. Would we have still talked until she couldn't?

I let my mind drift and it decides, what if you just called? (I was a child, i didn't know better, didnt know i could have just called, but thats not the point of this excersize. The point is the what if.) I called and Millie answers and we talk. I talk, back when I wasnt scared to yet. And we talk the next week. And the next. I talk about everything in my life, about the ways my dad mistreats us (and she asks to speak to him one day. He doesn't talk about what she said, but I heard her through the phone and she was not happy with her son). I talk about how little I see anyone else. I ask if she would visit. Maybe she would.

What brought this speculation to my conscious thought was a teary whispered question.

"Grandma, would you still call me if I wasn't a girl?"

And a long silence. My mind couldn't answer this because I didnt know. When I was still in single digits, i told my dad "I dont think i'm a girl. I don't think I'm a boy either." And he shut that down very quickly. He's always been like that. But i think one of the reasons he isolated us from the rest of his family is because he knew his mother would disapprove of his actions greatly. But i dont know if this would be one of them.

I hope it would be. But i'll never know now.

#personal #long post #thats gonna haunt me for a while i think

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beansnsoup · 2 years ago

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Nikko x fem reader

The reader is leias sister there very quiet and moves like a shadow they dont like to socialize mostly speaking in a word or sentence or two that is till the summer her sister wanted to stay at there grandparents the reader didn't want to stay but her parents said it be good for her to socialize with normal people instead of just them so after a week of almost giving red and kitty heart attacks after showing out of nowhere they send her to the basement for some much needed socialization with people her own age much to her and Leias annoyance that's when she meets Nikki the only one there person with some sense in that basement in the readers opinion the two start to talk and the reader develops a cush fast on Nikki but knowing she has a bf hides it and avoids the basement and Nikki like the flu until the end of summer where the two talk after Leia talks to her other friends

Ty for giving me sm to go off of!

Cruel Summer With You

Nikki x fem!reader

fandom- That 90s Show

Summary- You very quiet and composed, not that you didn't want to be social, you just hadn't found the right people, or person.

Warnings- fluff, angst?, self-doubt, og storyline might be a little rewritten for the plot I'm going for, lmk if there is anything else

Note- Originally, I was going to title this bad idea, like the girl in red song, then I wrote a line with cruel summer in it and i was like 'light bulb' and changed the title.

You sat on the couch, catching up on your Saturday morning cartoons, it was really like every other morning. You never had any plans, and if you ever made any, you made them on slow days when the public didn't want to go out. Yet, it was the start of Summer, so everyone was out and about, you chose to stay inside your own amazing home to avoid any sort of danger, that was your common excuse.

All of the sudden your mom comes into the living room and turns down the volume of the TV, you throw your hands up and look up at her offended. Leia walks up next to her, smiling, what has she done?

"How do you feel about doing to Grandma and Grandpas for the summer?" Your mom starts off, Leia starts mouthing for you to say yes. You loved your grandparents, but you knew why your mom was asking you, her and your dad thought you didn't get out enough and needed some social encounters that weren't just family.

"I'm not too keen on the idea..." You replied, sitting up from your position, Leia sighed, "C'mon! We could live a summer like all those teens in the movies that go around doing stuff with their friends and go to parties." Your mom looked at her, "Not like we're going to be doing partying, drinking, and drugs..." Leia laughed nervously and quickly looked away from her mom.

"Well, Leia has asked us if you both could stay there for the summer, and me and your dad think it seems great," As if on que, your dad walks into the room, "We think it'll be good for you Y/N, for you to, I don't know, live a little." He adds, you look down at your feet, you hate how they all cornered you in this situation, it wasn't fair.

"I guess."

Leia smiled, hugged you, and then quickly ran upstairs to start packing, "We'll start heading there tomorrow, get packed please." Your mom informed you as she kissed your forehead. You grabbed the remote and turned the TV back up, this was going to be a very cruel summer.

You grabbed your bags and walk downstairs to the car; you stuff it in the trunk with Leias stuff and get in with them. You pull out your Walkman and put in you Nirvana cassette, they were the only band that didn't back stab you with a bad album or song, except Fiona Apple, but she isn't a band.

You finally reach your grandparents house, your parents hop out of the car, your mom starts grabbing stuff while your dad just heads inside. Leia gets out and follows him in, you grab my bags so your mom doesn't have to carry as much.

Your grandma takes her attention away from Eric, "My girls!" She runs to hug you both, giving you both kisses, "I baked some cookies, your both welcome to as many as you like." She tells you both, you follow Leia to the kitchen, grabbing one of Grandma Kitty's famous chocolate chip cookies and stuffing it in your mouth, it was just what you needed after that 3 and a half hour drive.

"I'm gonna go shoot some hoops." Leia tells you, running to grab her ball from the living room, then running straight back to the kitchen. You were better inside, you sat down at the table, later joined by you Grandpa Red, he grabbed the paper that was sat next you.

"So you're both staying for the summer?" He asks you, you just nod as a reply, he let's out a huff, "You won't have to worry about me, grandpa." You knew exactly what he was huffing about. He's always complained about how terrible your dad was in his teens, especially during the summer when he was joined by all his friends.

"And why's that?"

"I'm not planning of loly gagging this summer, I need to catch up on summer reading. Leia, on the other hand, wants the full Point Place experience."

He sighs, patting you on the shoulder, "Help me out with her, I don't want any more kids filling up my basement."

"You can use our basement as much as you want!"

"Kitty!"

"Thank you grandma!"

Leia drags you downstairs to the basement, "This is going to be awesome. Think of all the hang outs we can have down here, they boys." The last part made her smile, but it made you cringe. You've never had any romantic feeling towards anyone, you just never found your person you guessed, that's what people you tell you when you didn't have a date for the school dances.

You sat yourself down on the couch with the box of record you found in the corner, they were all your dads, you only figured that out due to his name being written on the cover of most of them. You were about to put on the Queen album you found until a group of people burst through the door.

Wonderful.

"Woah, who's this?" A guy with a short middle part asks Leia, "My sister," She's cut off by another girl, "leave her be Jay." He threw his arms up in surrender and walked off to sit on the arm of the couch. You look over in the direction of the person that literally saved your life to find probably the prettiest girl you've ever seen.

She's wearing a pink outfit, has a perm, and a crazy beautiful smile. She sends you a wink before sitting down next to a bigger boy with fluffy hair, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Once they're all occupied you sneak your way upstairs trying not to get noticed, and thankfully nobody did.

You walk upstairs to the spare bedroom that used to be you Aunt Loris, you could tell by the way it was decorated, she still had most of her stuff here too, mainly skimpy sets. You made sure to change the sheets when you came to their place, even though you grandma insisted that she washed her and your dads' sheets before the two of you got here.

You plop down on the bed, you're practically sulking, this summer had already gotten invaded by a bunch of lunatics, well, except for her. She saved you from getting viciously flirted with by the weird guy you sister seemed to be weirdly warming up to.

You honestly couldn't stop thinking about her, but you knew talking to her was out of the question. Staying locked up in you aunts old room seemed like a better summer than you embarrassing yourself in front of a freaking goddess.

It had been about a week or two since you've been staying with your grandparents, and honestly it was growing on you, Point Place wasn't terrible if you knew what you were doing. You went downstairs to make yourself a sandwich, you hadn't eaten anything all day and the hunger was making you go insane. You opened the fridge causing you Grandma to jump and swing a punch, thankfully it only ran into your hair,

"Oh, my Lord, Y/N! You need to stop doing that!"

"Doing what? I'm not scaring you guys on purpose."

"Your grandpa nearly assaulted you with a beer bottle yesterday, dear, I think you need something else to keep you occupied, sometimes we forget you're here."

No matter how much that stung you knew she was right, you had barely seen them, and the only time you did it was kind like a surprise party for them. You were scared your grandpa was going to die from a heart attack one afternoon due to you "sneaking" up on him.

She hands you a bag of chips and send you down to the basement, "Talk to them dear, you might like them."

You walk down the steps, they're all laughing, sitting on the couch while watching cartoons. You hand Leia the bag and sit next to her, they go silent for a bit until Leia breaks it, "Guys, this is my sister, Y/N." Then she begins to point everyone out, "That's Gwen, her brother Nate, there our neighbors. That's Nates girlfriend, Nikki, him over there, that's Ozzie, and him, he's Jay." They all wave at you as their name is called while you just smile back.

"So," Gwen begins, "Why haven't you come down here before?"

"Just been busy."

"During the summer?" Nate asks you, Nikki slaps his arm,

"Some schools do that type of messed up stuff, I'm being trampled in college stuff right now."

You smile at her, turning to face the TV, everyone else follows suit and starts what they were doing before you came in. You glance over to Leia who looks a little irritated, you wait until later in the night for everyone to leave to ask her why though, not wanting to cause a scene.

First Ozzie left, then Jay, Nate and Gwen got called home, but Nikki said she'd meet him there later. Leia left the two of you alone to go throw away the trash and rinse the dishes from earlier in the evening.

"So, how are you liking Point Place?" Nikki asks you, all you can do is shrug, you feel like you heart rate has gone up to 5000 BPM. She lets out a giggle, "Cmon! there has to be something."

"To be honest with you," you start, "I haven't really explored it, I've just been stuck up in my aunts old room reading things for school, snooping through her stuff, and when Leia is out or down here with you guys, I snoop through my dad's stuff since she's in his room."

Wow. That's the most you've ever talked to a person that isn't your family, you barely know this girl, but you want to tell her all of your deepest secrets.

"How about this? I'll tell Nate I have a study group tomorrow but instead I'm taking you out to tour the best spots in town." She offers.

"You'd do that for me?"

"Duh! You seem awesome, you just need to get a little out of your comfort zone." She checks her watch, "Oops, gotta run, I need to run to Nates to tell him about my study group, and he's my ride home."

She starts to run off but stops and turns back around, she grabs a pen off the side table and runs over to you, "Write your number on my hand so you'll know when to be ready tomorrow." And you do just that, but instead it's your grandparents house phone number.

You walk outside to find Nikki waiting for you in her car. You didn't tell your grandparents or Leia that you'd be going out today, it's not like they noticed you when you were home.

"Hey, good looking." She greets you,

"Hey." That's all you could muster out,

She starts by driving you to The Hub, the both of you go in and get an ice cream to share, and if you're being honest, it was the best ice cream you've ever had. Maybe it was because you were sharing it with someone that you felt genuinely comfortable with.

You both head out side back to her car, she starts driving you to the woods,

"Is this the part where you kill me?" You ask her, she laughs at your joke that you personally thought wasn't that funny, but hearing her laugh at somthing you said felt nice.

"Nope. I'm taking you to the famous water tower, don't fall down though, I don't want my family to get sued."

You smile and nod. You both hop out of the car; she grabs your hand to aid you to the direction of the tower. You feel your face lose feeling and your stomach drops, honestly, you've never felt this way before about a person, it was weird.

She starts to climb up the water tower and you follow her up the ladder when there's a comfortable distance.

"Isn't just a perfect view?" She asks you,

You're looking off into the distance, then you look over to her, "Yeah, it is."

You both sit there in comfortable silence, nothing could ruin this moment, you look over to her again after a few minutes, she's distracted by the wind causing the trees to move in a gorgeous motion. Then it hit you,

You've never had any interest in getting a boyfriend, Leia talked about it all the time, it always made you have nasty taste in your mouth.

Maybe boys didn't spark your interest because of girls were what you always wanted, you just never figured it out yet, if you're being honest, you always had a sort of crush on Jasmine while your sister was fawning over Aladdin.

Nikki was your Jasmine.

You quickly looked back towards the trees, hoping she didn't catch you staring.

"Are you going to go down today?" Your grandma asked you, you shook you head. She put her hand up to your forehead to check for a fever then kissed the top of your head, "Just let me know if you need anything, okay?" You nodded.

She walked out of your "bedroom," leaving you to wallow in pity all by yourself. Was something wrong with your mindset or something? Why were you feeling this way, it felt wrong, but you knew that it was right and would make you happy in your mind.

The only problem was that Nikki probably didn't have this same "mindset," not only that, but she had a boyfriend. You didn't want to be a homewrecker, especially to someone you've grown so close to. You hated avoiding her and everyone else, but you didn't know what else to do.

This is not how you wanted to spend the last 2 weeks in Point Place, yet you knew you couldn't bring yourself to go down to that basement and look at her. Not that she was a bad person and spread a rumor about you, you just didn't think you could hide your feelings well in front of her and everyone else.

Your mom had called later that day, you guessed that your grandma told her, "I really hope you get better hun, that really sucks." You mumble a "Mhmm" into the phone as you stare off through the window, you catch a glimpse of Nikki and Nate leaving, your mom starts talking again you can't help but accidently tune her out.

His arm is around her waist, he's holding her close to him tightly. You couldn't help but wish that was you, she's laughing at him and pushing him away as he smothers kisses all over her face. Then she looks up to your window, you feel your heartbeat speed up and your stomach drop.

She smiles and waves at your window, you send a lazy wave back, she blows you a kiss before walking away with Nate over to his house.

"Y/N?" Your mom says, knocking you out of your trance, you were hoping that she wasn't doing that for a while, "Yeah, Sorry."

"I should let you go, you probably need some sleep."

You both exchange your goodbyes, and you hang up the phone, putting it back on the receiver.

You didn't know how long you could keep this going.

It was the last day of summer break, honestly it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. Everyone is saying their goodbyes, mainly to Leia, you're just inspecting. Nikki comes up to you, "Can we talk?" Your face loses feeling while you nod, you feel like you're going to throw up.

She drags you behind your grandpa's garage, "I just want to let you know I had a great time this summer, hanging out with you though, may've been my favorite."

You smile, "Mine too, I'm sorry I was so distant, I was just figuring things out." You hated how this was most likely going to be the two of yours last interaction.

You don't really know what to say after that if you're being honest, she looks like she's examining you.

"Can I kiss you?" She asks you, you nod fast, this was your first kiss.

It was warm and it felt comforting in a way, it couldn't have been better. She pulls back, "Oh my God."

"What? I'm sorry." You instantly apologize,

"No. It's all good." She pulls out a pen and writes her number on your hand, "Call me."

You nod.

OMGG this took literally forever, i hope you guys like it! Some of it is kind based on my struggle with identity, but instead of Jasmine it was Ursula, Mulan, Roxxane from the goofy movie.

#that 90s show #nikki that 90s show #nikki x reader that 90s show #that 90s show x reader #lgbtq #that 70s show #that 90s show netflix #headcanon

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goremet-chef · 2 years ago

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random little (very long) vent thing lamaoo

my birthday is soon and im like. IDK ive just been incredibly fucked up recently with like. anti trans legislation and general negativity, so ive been trying to keep away from twitter since thats where i see most of it

last year, my mother had me come get my cake with her and to my surprise it said "happy birthday dominic" and i couldve cried, like i was wearing my face mask cuz it helps my dysphoria but holy shit i was smiling so hard

she said dominic when she sang my bday song with my siblings and it made me really happy

she hasnt called me dominic since, and whatever im like. im not really over it but i will say and act like i am because it prevents me from dwelling on unnecessary pain yknow?

i guess recently she's had a change of heart, cuz she told my sibling that she wants to start calling me by dom and that she doesnt want me to hide who i am from her, and i know what she means definitely

ive been very like.. closed off? especially since her bf came back (he fucking sucks i hate him) i just havent spent time with her or anything unless hes gone cuz i definitely dont feel comfortable being myself around him

anyways this is pretty cool all things considered. i have told her before that i knew she wasnt gonna be part of my journey and ive accepted that, and usually i say shit and she just ignores it but maybe she actually heard that and listened

so, dominic is having his 4th bday soon and im happy about that, but like.. we're gonna go do mini golf for my bday which is a surprise! because i mean. if you know me, i dont really like to leave the house, like at all. i guess thats kinda how covid affected me? theres no reason to leave the house anymore so i guess i wont (and i guess it worked cuz i havent gotten it) but it was like. so horrible for my mental health

like i always said "oh, yeah, i dont mind being inside id prefer to not go outside anyways" and thats true but its like. doubled my social anxiety somehow. im normal in public until theres people around me or god forbid interacting with me 💀💀 the way i act when i have to buy my own shit is awful, i get sweaty and i stutter and i shake, i need to take a long breath after it fucking sucks it feels awful. JUST TO LIKE. PUT SOMETHING AT THE CASH REGISTER AND AHVE THEM ASK IF I WANT A REWARDS CARD OR WHATEVER THATS ITTT it sucks

so yeah im surprised i agreed to it, but its glow in the dark minigolf and one thing about me is i love minigolf and i love glow in the dark im gonna have a five nights at freddy moment (which means i gotta wear my shirt like i just gotta) and im sure itll be great fun (pleased about glow in the dark cuz im sure itll be. DARK in there and i dont have to worry so much about people seeing me)

my problem is that im hanging out with my aunt as well and i love my aunt!! everyone on my dads side except for my dad is amazing i love them, but i dont know how she would be yknow? idk if my mom has spilled the tea about it and told her or if theyre gonna just put my deadname on shit this year again like. i dont know

what if it did say dominic? how would my aunt react? its scary to think about, im so scared to LOSE more of my family

i havent even technically lost my moms side, its just that theyre a bunch of racist queerphobic losers and i know if they knew me, they wouldnt want me anymore

yeah im just stressed about it, all this shit is starting to pile up inside of me and i feel like ill explode and jsut say fuck everyone im ME and i dont give a fuck what you think, cuz no, i dont

my immediate family that i live with knows, my grandma knows, thats all that really matters. the only benefits to knowing my great grandparents is they give me money on my birthday, and that might sound hollow or whatever but its true, they fucking suck

just gettin tired of this sht yknow? even now, there is a hostile on the farm!! my moms bf is so homophobic, most likely transphobic too

hes SPECIFICALLY annoying, all the shit i order comes under dominic and hes brought me my things multiple times so he knows, but he'll still say shit like "thats how females are" or "hello girls" and to me its honestly like

its FUNNY because its like the only thing he knows about me is that to him, im a girl SKFJS like genuinely. i dont share anything with him because i fucking hate him, hes the absolute worst. the fact that theyre married and hes my stepdad technically is something i just deny, im never calling that man my dad lol

anyways im thinking about getting a hip binder? i realize thats one of the things im insecure about, is my fat is at my hip and even when i bind it gives me a feminine sort of shape so a hip binder would be great

i realize that i actually dont care so much if im plus size, i just care if my body looks feminine or not

i will absolutely be your fat guy friend with no hesitation okay like that shit? yes im so content for now like that is acceptable, but yknow fat distributes differently so its either baggy ass clothes orr stay inside SKJF

okay im done talking thanks for coming to my ted talk you are safe (for now)

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dysphoriccanada · 2 years ago

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my entire childhood i was terrified of admitting things about me or opening up because i was scared my family wouldnt understand. i was the first born grandchild, i was the eldest daughter, i was academically gifted, and i often felt i was more a possession you show off at dinner parties than the nine year old who wanted to share an ice cream. i wouldnt verbalize how touching without me initiating made my skin crawl, how not knowing what to eat at a restaurant made me want to cry, or how loud and unexpected things made me paranoid for days. i didnt want to shatter their reality because then theyd just be left with me. and i wasnt sure thats what they wanted.

when i turned sixteen, my doctor presented me with a task. she told me she wanted me to pay attention to every action around me; take in all the details, keep a journal of the tiniest moments. she wanted me to try and focus on the little good moments, to help me see the good in mine and my families relationships. i never took her seriously when she said these things, but i did it anyways, for laughs, and for something to do.

the entries started small at first. my sister making a point to come find me at lunch to see if i was eating anything. my mom standing next to me while i cried because the binder i ordered didnt fit. my dad keeping a playlist of music we both liked equally when we had to drive somewhere together. things i felt that they did only because that was a very normal action or reaction.

then i made a mistake, and i spent christmas of 2018 in the hospital, and my nites on the little things kept piling up. my dad came to see me every day on his lunch break without fail. my mom brought me a new book every couple of days. my sister called every night (she was and still is terrified of hospitals) to say a prayer for me. my dad bought me a stuffed animal that reminded me of my childhood dog, and my sister sent him her chore money so he could get me a better blanket after mom mentioned i didnt like how stiff the hospital sheets were.

i chalked it up to me being in a delicate place, and they didnt want me to feel like i was disappointing them. my doctor told me to keep writing in the journal. the little things started to become more noticeable after i got home.

my dad and i dont hug and we never really have. but he always stands close enough that i can press my forehead to his shoulder or lets me grab his sleeve when im stressed. my mom has trouble with my name, but she’s always the first to introduce me as her son, because thats the title that matters most. my sister doesnt like talking about her problems and hates when i try to involve myself with her relationship status, but im the first person she calls when she needs to talk during a drive, or when shes freaking out over an assignment.

then my doctor told me to take notice of the rest of my family. the ones i was so scared of tellling.

my grandma doesnt make me talk to her, but she scrunches up her nose and eyes at me across the table to show me she’s acknowledging im there. my papa keeps a copy of every school picture of me in his wallet. my mothers sister cried when i told her, then made her husband grab me a beer so i could practice pretending to like it because she didnt want her son to try and crack any jokes about me not being man enough to chug. the quilt thats been on my bed at my grandparents for the past three years has been the same, but i only noticed the tiny signature on the corner last week, telling me its a quilt my great grandmother made.

my cousin told me i was his little brother always, and his girlfriend told me im always welcome in their home and that the upstairs spare bedroom is pretty much mine whenever i need it. my best friend of seventeen years gets me that cheesy “birthday boy” ribbon from the dollar store every year without fail. my coworker told me her son - who i babysit - wanted to invite me to “boys day” with him and his dad.

my entire childhood i was so focused on the big picture of all the things my family didnt do - things i didnt even want to happen in the first place - that i was completely lost on all the things they did do. my family loved me. just only in the ways they thought i would better understand.

im 22 this year. on monday my grandma is taking me to the hospital so i can get bloodwork done. im getting my natural hormone levels tested so that my doctor knows how much testosterone i’ll need for my shots. afterwords she wants to show me her recipe for honey-bread, and my papa wants me to sit with him and watch some new nature documentaries. my sister cant wait to get home for reading week so i can braid her hair the way she likes and read her study notes out loud so she can retain them better. my mom and i are gonna visit her side of the family so i can tell them the good news. and my dad - with our updated playlist - is gonna help me assemble my new bookshelf.

it’s the little things.

#my family is very dear to me #silver linings i guess #ramblings #transgender #ftm trans #aromantic #family stuff #um. i dont rly know what else to tag this.#i dont particularly want this hitting the tumblr stratosphere #thank you for reading all of this if you got to it #and miami friends especially if youre reading this im sorry ive been ghosting.#shit is weird #i love you all very much #look for your silver linings

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foaming-sea · 10 months ago

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Great gatsby is good. Reading taste approved

My favorite people....... My relationship with people is complicated. I am bad with people. I used to be very close to my dad as a child, he was my favorite person, i always thought very highly of him, but when i grew up i learnt that he is actually not a good person. He is a good dad, he has always been good to me, but if he wasnt my dad i wouldnt want to have him in my life. With my mom is kind of the opposite, i always loved her cause she was my mom but we werent close when i was a kid, but we have got closer in recent years. I love my grandmother, she is 100% one of my favorite people. She died last year. I love my uncle and my aunt, theyre amazing. Thats family

Then irl friends i've 3, and we dont really talk that often but i love them and i know that they love me, and i trust them implicitly. Id trust them my life

For a favorite place, my grandmothers house, probably

-🍒

Thank you thank you <3 I'm so sorry about you grandmother. May she rest in peace. and I'm glad your getting close with your mother. My grandmother (paternal) has always lived with us, I can't imagine loosing her. Also only reason I didn't put my maternal grandparents house as a fav place, is because since my grandpa died two years ago that place doesn't feel right anymore. The family is kind of falling apart from that side and it makes me sad going there.

#🍒 anon

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usertiff · 1 year ago

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i thought you said once you were jewish but you talk only about being indigenous and white?

sorry for the delay in answering this i had to mull over how strange it was at first to have someone like analyzing my ethnicity or remembering aspects LOL but im going to assume possibly you're someone struggling with your own identity or smth??? and answer

but tbh if you're looking for help with rediscovering being jewish, i am not the one to ask and the reason for that will be clear below. if you need help reconnecting to indigeneity however, that's a different story.

long story, bc i weirdly am giving u way too much background info for an anon LMAO but a tldr is included

to begin, my ethnicity is as follows: norwegian, german, chatiks si chatiks, niitsitapi, and well, ashkenazi jewish

so, yes, i'm ethnically ashkenazi jewish on my maternal grandma's side (indigenous on my maternal grandmother's side as well, my great grandma was jewish, my great grandpa indigenous). however, i was not raised with the knowledge of it. i did some digging, talking to my my grandpa, my mom and my aunt's (who knew all along but are gen x'ers and a boomer, and just... didn't really care at all except my mom and one aunt who also felt kind of sad about it), and they all said the same thing: my great-grandma chose to whitewash us (and therefore didn't even tell her kids, including my grandma, until later in life) because her mother and father did as well, for mostly safety reasons, but also fitting in reasons, because where i live was where most germans settled. (like for example, my paternal ancestry is literally just norwegian and german. my dad is half norwegian and german lmao, my paternal grandma immigrated from norway, and my paternal grandfather's was like a 2nd-gen immigrant or smth, they came over quite awhile after my cousins side of the family came over a loooong time ago idfk it's stupid i dont really care about all that.) and it might be silly to some but it was important to my grandparents i guess, especially because one of my grandpa's was a general(??? something???) in ww2.

TLDR anyway, long story short, my grandparents hid who we are, didn't raise their kids as jewish neither in religion nor even by telling them their ethnicity til they were older. SO i don't feel comfortable claiming my jewish ethnicity? like... idk it is weird because since finding out i am jewish, i feel this weird sense of heartbreak that 1. i partially don't know who i am, 2. that my grandparents were so desperate to fit in they literally hid a major part of themselves, 3. i lost out on a lot of culture because they simply chose to omit this part of our lives, idk i could go on???

so while part of me wants to try and reconnect what it means to be jewish, there's another part of me that feels uncomfortable doing so, as if ... idk... like i'm not allowed? it's a much different feeling than being indigenous and reconnecting, especially because i grew up knowing i'm indigenous and already having bits and pieces of that culture.

unnecessary information of me rambling on below

and as for my indigeneity, there wasn't really any hiding the color of my great-grandpa's skin. even as our genes have been passed down through my family, while some of us (me, a few cousins) ended up white as hell (for me it's thanks to my snow-white scandinavian/germanic father) others, such as my sister, have my grandpa's complexion, his eyes, his hair. it's beautiful. it sounds privileged as hell to say this, because i understand i have white privilege to the max, but i am a lil jealous of my sister. she's just so beautiful in my eyes, and really represents the ancestry in my family. it's lovely to me.

anyway, congrats, u have way more info than u needed

#answered #about #stop talking tiff *#this feels weird to actually EXPLAIN publicly but ??? here i am

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mouthfulloftoothpasterry · 4 years ago

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Grandparents Day

Hi!!! Sorry for posting it then deleting it, I decided I didn’t want to post it now I want to! So sorry about that haha:) this is just the styles family going to the park and visiting the grandparents! I hope you enjoy 💕

Today Y/n and Harry are leaving their cozy cottage and scoundering out into the real world, leaving the home-y confines of their cottage and going to visit the grandparents for a late lunch.

They are having a picnic out at the park, Harry offered to host it at their cottage and have it out in their backyard- claiming the flowers and plants would make great scenery, But the family had denied. They said the four needed to get out and see more people than the customers at the farmers market.

The couple of course agreed, renting out a park pavilion for the day and packing up their contribution of the picnic foods. “Come on, my love, mummy made sun tea!” Harry coos, holding Violet's hand and hoisting her up into her booster seat.

“Yummy!” She cheers, letting Harry clip her in the seat securely. Harry buckles it right under her chest, making sure the big buckle is positioned correctly. “Comfy?” Harry questions, holding a thumb up for her. She smiles widely, showing her small baby teeth and sticking her tiny thumb up for him. “Good!” She cheers, Harry smiling and softly tickling her belly, kissing her cheek then brushing his hand from her hair to her cheek, softly giving it a pinch before he shoots her a wink, softly closing the door.

Y/n walks out, the picnic basket in her hand along with Forest laying in her arm. “I’ve got that, sunshine” Harry hums, pushing up his glasses and grabbing the picnic basket from her hands, the kids diaper bag balanced on top of it. He places it in the back, Y/n thanking him and buckling Forest into his bus seat.

“Come on, sweet pea. Let’s get you out of the bus!” Harry coos, pulling Violet out of the bus seat and resting her on his hip. He circles to the back of the bus, grabbing the diaper bag and the wooden picnic basket, heading toward the big pavilion entry. Y/n walks a couple steps ahead of him, guiding the way while he hauls the food behind her.

“Hello!” Harry’s mum greets, making the man look up with a smile. “Hi!” He sings, his wife offering her a polite smile while she deals with a slightly fussy Forest. Y/ns parents greet them, the styles family making their way over to the picnic table. “Go see nana!” Harry coos, letting Violet slip down from his hip and land on her feet, padding away on the concrete flooring to go visit her grandparent, getting her cheeks pinched and dollars slipped to her behind her parents backs.

They all finally greet each other, laughs and conversations laying over the other until they all settle down and take their seats on the old red chipping bench of the picnic tables. Harry pulls Violet on his lap, making sure she’s not running off and getting lost. (She likes to do that when they go off to the park- which isn’t often.) Harry slides her plate toward her, the girl's sippy cup full of sun tea, balanced between her chubby hands.

“It's time to eat, sunshine.” Harry announces to violet, pulling her next to him on the picnic table bench. She stretches her little neck to look at the array of food everyone had brought. She makes quick grabby hands for the fruit sandwiches Harry hand prepared for the outing. Harry catches her in the act and grabs her hand before she can shove a bite into her mouth, pulling her hand away and kissing the back of it, shoving an orange baby spoon in her hand instead. He puts a small portion of summer pasta on her plate, the girl forming a tight pout on her lips before she stabs the pasta and shoves it in her mouth angirly, mad her daddy didn't let her have dessert first.

“How is the farm?” Anne asks while she holds Forest, holding a sleepy baby in one arm and feeding herself with the other, something the youngest parents out of the group have mastered.

Y/n finishes her bite, wiping her mouth off on the floral printed napkin before answering annes question. “Everything is good. We sold a bunch at the farmers market a couple weeks ago.” Harry nods along, serving himself while everyone passes the bowls and plates of food around, complimenting each other on their dishes quietly. “We’re thinking of getting some bunnies. Violet would love it.” Harry adds, violet instantly snapping her head up at the mention of adding the fluffy white animal to the family farm. “Bunnies?!” she asks, making the group laugh.

“Yep,” Harry says, licking his thumb and rubbing red sauce from her face, the little girl's face scrunching up while she pushes his large hand away. “You're gonna eat them?” Y/n’s dad asks, the family shaking her head, violet getting visibly upset by the questions. They dont eat bunnies! Bunnies are for petting and loving. “No, just have them as pets. We dont eat meat, we haven't for a while.” Harry informs, violet being his little sidekick and nodding along to every word he has to say.

“So are you getting them?” Anne asks, Violet looking up at Harry with so much hope. She loves bunnies, she draws them all the time, it's just one big circle, a smaller one for the head, then four tiny ones for the feet and a happy face made with two dots and a curved line but it's a bunny to her and she loves it. “...yeah,” the father slowly nods. Y/n gives him sharp eyes. They were supposed to surprise Violet and Forest with the new addition to their farm, even though forest wouldn't be that enthusiastic, he's only four months old.

“What about preschool? Are you going to send her to preschool?” y/n’s mum barges into the conversation, always nagging at her daughter to get the kids out. They do get the kids out, just not often. They have playdates and go to the park to socialize with the other kids but they are usually inside and if they do leave they stay together, no disturbing the people around them.

“Were still deciding on whether to homeschool her or send her to Harry's old preschool.” Y/n answers her nons nagging questions. She would love for Violet to stay with them, it's not like she wants to go out and see all these kids, she's a very antisocial toddler. She is shy and nervous around new people, if it's not her mummy, daddy, and little brother she usually doesn't prefer to be around them for long periods of time.

“Just let the kid breathe! She probably wants to be with other kids ever not and then, you know.”

Y/n tries not to get frustrated but she doesn't need people telling her how to parent, especially when they dont know how her child feels being around people that arent her immediate family.

Y/n sighs, rubbing her eyes. “Violet doesn't like being around other people for a long time. I dont want to send her away for three hours a day to a place where she isn't comfortable. Especially when we are already teaching her stuff at home and she is doing great.” she argues back, harry pulls a hand on the small of her back and rubs softly. He knows she gets annoying about things like this, she is usually a very zen person.

Harry 100% backs her up on this. He knows how anxious his little one can get when she is around new people- or people who aren't her parents. Why would they send her off to a preschool when they can teach her ABC’s at home, how to write her name, counting, and even more that they teach at a preschool. They can have one on one time with their child when the teacher wouldn't be able to focus on just one child at a time. They even get to teach her more about the animals, show her what noises animals make and what colors they are up close and personal.

“I think it would just be nice for her to make some friends,”

Harry senses some trepidation, and he doesn't want Violet to watch her mumma and grandma to get into a disagreement. Not that it would get ugly, Harry just prefers his kids ears aren't around bad language, and when a disagreement happens the adults tend to get loose lips.

“Hey, are you done? Let's go play, you can eat this on the swings.” Harry grabs a fruit sandwich, picking the girl up and excusing them while he walks into the wood chip filled playground. Violet munches on her desert when she slides down bright yellow slides with Harry, sitting on his lap while they both sing out “weeeee!”

Y/n helps everyone pack up, throwing away paper cups and plates in the big rusty trash cans that they had in the pavilion. She watches Harry and Violet chase each other, watching them closely since Violet happens to be a very accident prone (almost) two year old. She keeps to herself while she stuffs drinks back in blue coolers, stuffing their tupperware back in their picnic basket and leaving the sun tea out because they had seemed to enjoy that.

While the rest of the crew cleans up Harry chases Violet around the playground, the black floors being filled with wood chips that were once stuck on little ones shoes, or maybe some naughty kids were bringing them up on the jungle gym to play around in them. “Hey, watch your step, pumpkin!” Harry yells before Violet misses her step and falls over a big black chunky step, falling right into the wood chips. Cries instantly fell from her mouth, she was just trying to run down the playground steps but her chubby legs couldn't keep up.

“Hey,” Harry pouts, sitting on the black step and pulling her onto his thighs. “Are you okay, sweet pea?” Harry asks, dusting off the debris on her knees and hands. She huffs as she cries, her bottom lip poking out while tears roll down her cheek, her nose and cheeks growing pink and hot from her crying. Harry gives her a big pout when he sees her knee bleeding, He hopes she doesnt have a splinter.

“Lets go get you clean your boo boo’s up” Harry mumbles, pulling her up to his chest and kissing all along her hair line, letting her cry in his neck. He walks back up to the pavilion in search of the diaper bag, they have a first aid kit stashed in there, it's a necessity when you have a bambi-like toddler.

y/n watches Harry set down a crying violet, fishing for a first aid kit. “What happened?” she sighs, handing the little girl her sippy cup. Harry glaces up at his wife for a second before looking back down at his toddler, preparing to clean her boo boo’s. “She fell,” he cleans her cuts up only making her cry more, her hands were only scraped, but she had a small cut on her knee. He adds some neosporin, patching on a baby shark bandaid before kissing over her cut.

“All better?” the girl huffs, wiping her tears. She looks at her knee, holding up two fingers like she's going to pinch something, Harry laughs. “Lets go sing baby shark somewhere else, your nana might give me a boo boo.”

Y/n laughs, Harry kissing her and Forest's head before they sit on the park bench together, their singing still heard.

The grandparents all swarm over the free child, watching him sleep peacefully. Y/n laughs awkwardly, hoping that Harry would be back soon to distract them or so Violet could play with them. “Are you putting this one in pre school?” Y/n scoffs at her mothers nagging, surprised it's only been an hour of hearing nagging about their kids.

“He's a real momma's boy. He's gonna be a heartbreaker.'' Robin laughs, making Y/n smile and laugh, her boy isn't dating because no one's ever gonna be good enough.

They decide to join the rest on the playground, the men playing with violet- or Harry pushing Violet on the swing while the men talk to him. Anne and Y/n’s mom join her on the park bench, the small boy finally waking up from his long nap. They talk about the farm and the kids while the sun sets, loud giggles from violet fill the park while Harry pushes her higher and higher. “It's beautiful out,” Anne says, looking up at the glowing sky, a painting of orange, purple, and blue framing the cloudy sky.

“It is,”

Hiii!! I hope you enjoyed reading part three!! I’m sorry for being a tease and posting it then deleting it. I was in my teasing era. Anyways, thank you for everything, you have all been so fucking amazing, like it shocks me how sweet and supportive you all are, thank you!!! It means so much!!! I love you all. My requests are open, I’m currently writing part four and then I will be putting out a blurb about when y/n was pregnant with Forest after part four is out. Thank you for everything!!!

#cottagecore!forest #cottagecore!harry #cottagecore!y/n #dadrry #dad!harry #Harry #Harry styles #Harry styles blurb #Harry styles one shot #Harry blurb #harry one shot #Harry imagine #Harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #Harry x reader

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idkwhatthisisbutheresdcandstuff · 2 years ago

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Hoo boy so many OC's

Ok you know what? Rabbit, I'll do my OC rabbit (I choose to ignore questions I dont want to answer)

My OC is based off of wonderland btw (she has nothing to do with the white rabbit btw, I know it's really confusing but just bare with me)

1. Pastel colors (mostly pink purple and blue) and white

2. I feel like there's a certain type of music playing in wonderland that she's into, as for earth music she's mostly into songs coming from musicals, her favorite being "other side" from the greatest showman (she also got into it bc her uncle Jason and her aunt Molly introduced it to her)

4. Pretty crafty, I guess?

5. She pretty much picks whatever looks nice, she doesn't try to do anything fancy but she does spend the time making sure she looks nice

6. It's always in a ponytail, she cares a little but not too much

7. You'd think Rabbits because she's a Rabbit and that's her name, but it's spiders

8. No, she doesn't have a nickname, she's suprised no one has tried to call her "bunny", she personally wouldn't mind if they did

9. Favorite food is cake, least favorite food is mushrooms, no she is not a picky eater, no dietary restrictions

10. Yes! She wears necklaces, earrings, and she wants to get piercings some day

11. The things we have in common is that we're both impulsive, mentally unstable, wierd, gay, and we both value the people around us more than anything else, our differences are that she's adopted by a lesbian couple, meanwhile I live with my bio mom and I visit my bio dad on the weekends, and she has way more energy than me, but yeah, we'd probably get along

12. Shes 16 and was born on 12/16/2532, I based her birthday off of a zodiac sign and yes, she loves celebrating birthdays

13. She can speak English and Spanish both fluently

14. No

15. She has her 2 moms, her aunt and uncle and their spouses, another aunt that lives in earth with her husband and kids, her uncle, her grandparents, and her cousin

16. She doesn't have any pets because the only thing she wants to adopt is a spider

17. Shes homeschooled so uh.... Idk she just helps around the shop ig

18. All of those things are bad

19. No, not really, unless you really fuck up

20. No, she can't drive, she doesn't need to

21. Wonderland :D

23. Chirpy, I guess? And yes, shes good at singing and loves singing well

24. She likes drawing, painting, singing, sculpting, and making scented candles

25. Great hearing, average eyesight

26. She's fast, I guess?

27. Human sport? She likes watching soccer but doesn't like playing it because it hurts her feet

28. If she cares about you, you will know, she is very open about stuff like that, but also if she hates you, count your lucky stars shes against killing people

30. Depends, sometimes she smells like food sometimes she smells like the scented candles she makes

31. She doesn't like receiving gifts as much as giving them, and she has incredibly low standards so you could she give her just wrapping papaer and she'll thank you (despite the fact that she is literally the cousin of the queen of aces and is next in line but whatever)

33. Extremely kind hearted, talented, and has a strong soul, but she's also crazy and needs to realize that she's only alive just out of damn LUCK

34. She thinks she's not good enough, and that she needs to fight harder against evil, and that everything bad that's going is her fault

Ok that's it, we're done here

i wanted to make an oc ask game 😋 things i like to ask people abt their characters:

are they associated with a certain color? what color do they wear the most?

what sort of music would they like? have you thought about what genres or bands do they lean towards? do they have a favorite song?

weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

how crafty/resourceful are they?

how do they typically dress? does their wardrobe lean more towards practicality or aesthetics?

how do they wear their hair? do they care a lot how their hair looks?

favorite animal? why?

do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

favorite food? least favorite? are they a picky eater? do they have any dietary restrictions?

if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?

what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

how long have they been around? do you know their birthday? is their birthday the day you made them or another day? what do they think of celebrating birthdays?

what languages do they speak? how fluently?

are they any good with numbers?

how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

do they have any pets? what do they call their pets?

how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?

their opinion on lying, stealing, and killing?

are they quick to anger? what sets them off?

if applicable, can they drive? if they have their own, what color is their vehicle? is the inside neat and tidy, or a mess?

their favorite place to be?

do they sleep well at night?

how would you describe their voice? can they sing?

do they have any creative hobbies? (art, writing, music, etc)

how good/bad is their hearing? what about their eyesight?

how do they move? are they clumsy? light on their feet? do they use mobility aids?

if applicable, do they have a favorite sport? do they play any sports or prefer to watch?

how do they show that they care about someone? how do they express that they don't like someone?

are they associated with any particular element (air, earth, fire, water)?

do they smell like anything notable?

do they like receiving gifts? giving gifts? what is their ideal gift?

do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?

if applicable, how would your other characters describe them? i mean specifically the people around them.

how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are.

do they ever return home?

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its-afucking-mess · 3 years ago

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soooooofi, me again, i'm trying to write dad dami, so i have reader meeting him and his daughter at a flight, 'cause reader took the seat on his side, and his daughter would be kind of delighted with you,, anyways, it would be more about you and his daughter talking and getting to know each other before talking with dami like for real, but how do you think it would be a child raised only by him?? he's a single dad and i'm struggling with his kid manners... share thoughts, or not, idk, help me (and i need to write single dad ethan too, that's so good of a thought) *kissing ur nose*

hmmmmm

i feel like these so many options why dami would raise a child himself. imma just say that the mum didnt want to be too involved cause of issues and dami offered to take the kid by himself cause he knew his family and the band would help 🥺

i feel like that kid is pure chaos, always talking and being loud cause italians, shes always on someones shoulders cause daddy and uncle ethan carry her on their shoulders

theres probably a lot of "nO DONT GO IN THERE" or "DONT LEAVE MY SIDE OR MY SIGHT"

she also has great manners cause when the band was practicing leo would teach her stuff about the proper manners he had learnt from his grandparents to keep her entertained

shes probably very smart since the band just info-dumps everything they know cause shes very curious

she would probably reach out to you while damiano is asleep cause shes bored and whever shes bored shes used to playing with auntie vic and you kinda look like her

she tells you all about her daddys work and about uncle thomas and auntie vic helping her prank him, and shes so full of pride and good arrogance like dami 💕

probably she also talks about how lonely it is whenver they are all alone and because shes young shes all. like "my daddy doesnt have anyone with him" cause she took a liking to you and decided she wants you as her mum and youre all there like melted in your seat cause shes adorable

i think besides vic she doesnt have anyone to do her hair or dress her so shes discovered her style through damis clothes cause you best believe that when he was asleep shed go looking in his stuff

because dami is trying his best to like, make up for the lack of mum he just spoils her a tiny bit and she kinda doesnt have that good of a concept woth money but shes very polite about it and willing to learn cause thats how dami taught her 🥺

kids raised by a single parent also sometimes take initiative a lot so imagine this little girl telling you about how shes helping her daddy with housework by cleaning up after herself like she always sees him do, and how she helps with cleaning by dusting the surfaces while he does the rest

she wants to be like him so bad, and she tells you about uncle thomas and uncle ethan teaching her guitar and drums cause shes young so she can learn easily

yeah mostly headcannon dump <3

idk hope it helps you out :^)

if u want single dad ethan hcs just send another ask cause this is long as it is 😅

#chat :d #damiano david #måneskin

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hyrule-kingdom-updates · 3 years ago

Note

Can we get some spare Launo headcannons for July?

Launo sucked big time at knight school when he first arrived—he didn’t exactly have any background help given no one in his family was a knight either. He was basically assigned the equivalent of “equipment manager” during the first few months. And when he did get proper actions with a broadsword or a bow, Launo struggled with footwork and precision and all the minute details of a duel so he often got his ass handed to him.

But one the top kids in Launo’s class thought he was cool anyways—that was, one Arcadius Hartell. Pretty, rich, ace with sword, bow, spear, and anything sharp, and pretty much had no flaws or weaknesses. Launo at first thought the guy was just pitying him, the kid who has never won a single sparring match and consistently put on training dummy duty (that is reattaching their heads when they got lopped off)

So it came as a bit of a surprise when Arcadius came to ask something from him.

“How do you do that?”

Launo turned from the training dummy he was working on. “S-Sorry, what?”

“The...the thing you do. With the...thing?” Arcadius pointed to the needle and thread Launo was holding as he was reattaching the dummy’s forearm. “How do you do that?”

Launo scrunched his eyebrows in confuzzlement. “This is, uh, well. It’s just sewing I guess. If this guy were real I guess it would be stitching, haha...” He patted the dummy’s wood shoulder playfully as if joking with a pal—the dummy immediately tipped over, Launo coughed and stepped in front of the mess to ignore it. Arcadius nodded thoughtfully.

“So, do you have a special technique or something?”

“I mean, not really, it’s just regular old sewing...”

“But I assume you’ve spent years training on the art.”

“I...uh...I guess? My mom taught me.”

“Oh! So it’s like...an apprenticeship...?”

“...Are you under the impression that sewing is some sacred gift that gets passed down to the worthy or something?”

“.........no....”

The two boys just stood awkwardly for a moment longer, Launo studying Arcadius’ face.

“You don’t even know what sewing is do you?”

“O-Of course I do! It’s the...thing.” He made a sword motion with his fingers, as if wielding a tiny blade. “You stab the stuff and it repairs. With the...” Arcadius squinted as he thought for a moment, “...stool...”

“Spool?”

“Yeah! That! So, look, you’re pretty skilled at everything—“

“I am??” Launo took a step back in shock.

“Yeah! You always fix the equipment, and somehow haul around all those weapons, and make us cool lunches—“

“I don’t know, I made Rubeo vomit last week cause I forgot he hates blueberries...”

Arcadius shook his hands. “N-Not the point. And he sort of deserves it. The fact is you’re obviously leagues ahead of the game—“

“I—Actually I wouldn’t say—“

“—so you just gotta teach me everything you know!” Arcadius pumped a fist and closed his eyes. “How could I ever call myself a knight if I don’t even learn the basics of equipment management! Who will mend the wounded holes in my soldier’s pride if I can’t even fix the tears in my uniform! A mountain’s peak is equivalent to the shallow shore if you have no bearing of the heights you soar.”

Launo blinked. “Are you...okay?”

Arcadius scratched his head. “Aha...sorry. That’s a quote from Aria Nori’s newest volume. Guess I was too into the moment there.”

“Oh! The Zora poet! I’ve read her stuff! I haven’t read her latest volume, but my dad often binds her books—“

“Really?!” Arcadius’ eyes were suddenly star struck. “That’s so cool! This is all the more reason you gotta teach me this stuff.” He waved again at the collapsed training dummy. “Maybe start with the beetle and thread.”

“Needle. D-Do you not know what a needle is?”

Arcadius’ eyes glazed over. “...no...oh my gods that’s not gonna be on the test is it?? I’m so screwed—“

“Nonono it’s not, I’m just...” Launo bit his tongue. Now that he thought about it, he never really saw anyone else in his class do mundane house chore stuff. They were far too busy sharpening swords and bragging about their parents or grandparents or great uncles or cousins that totally were war heroes and high ranking political figures. Sewing could just be a Hateno thing, could it..?

“Can’t you just hire someone to teach you?” Launo started. “I mean, I’m super flattered! Just that, I’m not exactly a master at this, so I’m sure there are adults out there that are more accomplished.”

Arcadius hung his head. “I don’t think my dad would let me...Pretty much everything not sword related he just hires someone to do for me. And he’s super picky about what training I focus on.”

“Well it’s not really official training, it could just be a hobby.”

The boy raised an eyebrow, sounding out the word. “H...Hob...?”

“O-OK, just forget that. H-How about...” Launo didn’t meet his eyes as he absentmindedly kicked the dirt. “Y-You like poetry, right? You can come over to my house and look at my dad’s collection. And when we’re there, I can let my mom...” He scrunched his eyes, trying to nail down the words, “...apprentice you? On the...art, of sewing?”

Arcadius’ eyes were wide enough to reflect the heavens themselves. “R-Really?? You’d do that??”

“I don’t see why not. It’ll be after call and,” Launo’s eyes suddenly sparked, “...You can just tell your dad that you’re training me! Say that you were asked to help your fellow classmates cause you’re already so far ahead from everyone else.”

Which isn’t exactly a lie, Launo thought, bitterly.

“Hmm...” Arcadius tapped his chin, before shrugging. “Might have to tweak the explanation to ‘getting extra credit for top grades by tutoring’ cause I don’t know how he’ll feel about me helping the competition.” He articulated the last word with a mocking, adulting tone. Then he held out a hand. “But I think it sounds like a deal! I’ll give you some pointers, and you introduce me to your mentor.”

“My mom.”

“Yeah, that.”

Launo shook his hand, still a bit timidly, given he now noticed that a few other boys in the training yard were watching the prodigy student interact with the glorified janitor boy.

So they both tutored each other: Larc, in the art of knowing what sewing magic was (Larc bringing the most expensive and ornate needle Launo had ever seen, even though Larc claimed he just found it in his father’s closet) and brewing delicious broths (“Wait, you have to stand around this pot for hours and cook this stuff?? I thought you just made soup in a bowl! You know, like how servants take off the silver cover on the tray and the soup is already there?” “We...dont have waiters or anything...so our method of cooking different.”) Meanwhile, Launo was able to make some progress with knight training—keyword, “some.”

“Don’t make your stance so wide.” Arcadius shoved Launo’s back foot with his boot. “Keep your feet closer together, you only want enough distance so that your front foot can hover an inch off the ground while your back foot stays planted. Any further, and you’ll topple too easily.”

Launo adjusted his stance as instructed, and readied the rapier again. He set his jaw. “OK. Come at me!”

Arcadius nodded. He picked up the wooden sword and swung (a bit slowly and wide) at Launo’s side.

Launo immediately shoved his rapier point left to counter his attack, but instead moved with such force and vigor that he practically fell onto Arcadius’ blade.

Arcadius chuckled, dropping the sword and helping Launo up again. “You don’t need to use to much force when you swing. In fact it’s better to work with simple quick movements with any rapier or piercing sword, since the damage is done by the tip, not the weight.”

“S-Sorry...” Launo mumbled as he got up again.

“Don’t be! Oh hey!” Arcadius suddenly went back around towards the pile of weapons and pulled out a claymore. “Actually, maybe a sword like this will work better for you! You won’t have to worry as much about holding back, or being finesse. All the power is in that downward swing—!” Arcadius swung the sword into a nearby log to demonstrate, nearly cutting it asunder.

He offered it to Launo. “And don’t let the size fool you, it’s not actually that heavy. Large weapons still need to let soldiers be quick enough to parry and block attacks.”

Launo turned the claymore around in his hands, studying the blade and handle.

Arcadius gestured to the log. “Well, go on! It’s similar to the grip I taught you with the broadsword, but this time you use your other hand in the bottom to support the weight as it turns on an axis. Try that downward swing I showed you!”

Launo paused for a moment, thinking. Then, he planted his foot down, and swung the claymore down with all his might, aiming for another soon-to-be piece of firewood.

The claymore whistled as it fell, and it cut into the log deep—about halfway. Yet, still not nearly as deep as how Arcadius had done it.

Nonetheless, he was hopping with joy for Launo. “That was awesome!! You did great!!”

He sighed as he left the claymore in the log. “No I didn’t...”

“What are you talking about? That was probably the best blow you’ve done all night!”

“Yeah! And it’s not even a quarter of the damage that you did with your swing!”

“Well, it still took me a while to—“

Launo gestured to the other log. “It’s been how many weeks?? And I’m not even CLOSE to being as good as you, much less being a top student...” He plopped into the dirt and laid himself out like a starfish.

Larc stood over him, confused. “Why would you want to be a top student?”

“BECAUSE I SUCK ASS, DUDE!” Launo held up his arms, exasperated. Larc, on instinct, stepped back and held his hands close to his chest as he fiddled with his thumbs and mumbled an apology. Launo immediately sighed.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound like I’m mad at you. You’re really great, Link. You’re so nice to me and you’re talented and I’m so grateful, but I’m just...” He shifted in the dirt again. “I don’t think I could ever be like you. I’d even dare to say it’s impossible.”

Larc stilled, playing with his thumbs, before daring to step closer and sit in the dirt beside him.

“Can I tell you a secret, Launo?”

He was quiet, but he nodded a yes.

“I think my brother’s a stronger fighter than me.”

Launo furrowed his eyebrows confused, but he continued.

“He just never takes his knight training seriously, because of my father. But I bet if he really tried, he’d be great at it.”

Ah. So that’s what he meant.

“But I AM trying.” Launo whined. “I guess compared to you it doesn’t seem like much but—!”

“Nono! Sorry that’s not what I meant!” Larc quickly cut in. “I just...” He trailed off.

“...There’s a reason I have to be the best.” Larc finally said. He was looking out into the woods, but Launo felt that he wasn’t really looking at anything in particular, maybe deep in thought. “There’s a reason I can’t settle, I can’t rest. It’s really important that I get this all right. And I guess that makes me admirable to most people but...”

He looked down at Launo, still spread out in the dirt. “I didn’t really choose to be a knight, unlike you. I didn’t actually choose to be the best, and I don’t get why so many people do train to be at the top out of their own violation. It really...sucks ass.” He articulated the last part in Launo’s tone, and they both giggled.

“So...I guess that I’m trying to say here is that...” He thought one his words a moment longer. “I think so many people are afraid of trying new things, because they fear not being the best at it, not being at the top. And I suppose ambition is good but...” He tilted his head and shrugged at Launo. “As someone who’s supposedly at the top, I would say I envy anybody that can make progress that their proud of. You choose to be a knight, and you’re training for it out of your own strength and courage. That’s more than I’ll ever have, so you should probably get off the ground and realize that soon.”

Launo’s eyes widened, a bit unnerved by how uncharacteristically blunt Larc was being.

“In my opinion, anyone that aims to be better than everyone is stupid—maybe that’s just me, but...I would think that if I was you, I’d be proud of any progress I made. If I was more skilled than I was yesterday, that’s really all I would care about. Why would I care about being the top of my class? I would kill to just be satisfied with being a better me.”

There was silence as the boys took in Larc’s words. Then he suddenly stood up. “G-Goddess Hylia, sorry I’ve been talking for so long, I didn’t realize how late it was getting.” He went to collect his things. “You can keep the claymore, I think you’d be great at it, just...”

Larc packed his swords and backpack, before turning back to the flopped out Launo. “...I think you’re really cool, Launo. So don’t tap out for my sake—I’m not the person that matters in your training, am I? So don’t give up for any silly reasons like that.”

Launo perked his head up to meet his gaze. While Arcadius was usually serious and controlled during training at school, Larc always seemed to have genuine excitement about swords when it came to him. The bright smile on his face caused his cheeks to warm and he immediately flipped his head back to hide it.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Launo!” Larc ran off into the night, a cobblestone streets in the distance swallowing his figure.

“See you...” Launo whispered.

He lay in the dirt a moment longer—his mother would probably berated him for the stains again—when he finally got up and looked at the claymore in the log. He walked up to it and observed it further, it was another a sixth of the way deep. He glanced at Larc’s log, which was nearly split in two, and sighed. Then he glanced back at his own work.

“Well, it’s better than when I first started I guess...” Launo mumbled.

No one responded.

The boy let out a huff, and gripped the sword again in his hands.

“But I can do better.”

By the time Launo was 16 he was finally beating his classmates with ease, specializing in longswords, axes, and hammers. And while he definitely still “sucked ass” in things like archery and lance work—to which some boys still teased him for—he found overtime that he no longer cared about what they thought. They had their strengths, and he had his. And to top it off, absolutely no one in the academy could make a lemon cookie like him. So at least he had the best in show for that angle.

Even years later, after certain incidents transpired concerning House Hartell, Launo always welcomed Larc to his house for “training.” Although after a while, it would be hard to still call it that when a large chunk of time is really just spent running their fingers through each other’s hair.

“But we’re friends, right?”

“Yeah.”

And even years after graduating as part of the top ten in his class and working as a knight, some of his old classmates would tease him for being the “rich boy’s lap dog,” Launo would find that he still really didn’t care—after a punch or two was thrown, of course. He found that his new lack of anxiety and concern heavily stemmed from that night, when Larc had told him about his envy for choice and satisfaction. Thinking back at the memory of his handling with a sword and his happy little smile once made Launo blush so hard his father teased him about it for the rest of his life—his mother claimed he went so red he would fit right in with the tomato stew. One of these days, Launo would pay Larc back for the endless teasing he got from his parents. And pay Larc back he would, indeed.

I mean, he already had the ring.

#hku spoilers #Launo Birch

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ibelonginthepast · 3 years ago

Note

Hunk for the character ask thing??

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HUNK!!!! FINALLY!!! I am such a ho for him sorry

Sexuality Headcanon: i have no particular fixed pref, he could be straight, but i like to think he's bi throughout. I think he is a believer of fluid sexuality, so he doesn't really fits himself in a label. He goes along with whoever he likes.

Gender Headcanon: I sometimes like to hc him as a trans man (ftm). He/him pronouns. He was cultured into toxic masculinity. He has had his struggles with it. He was teased for being soft because of his anxiety issues. His tendency to be emotional and expressive. He has had been a victim of toxic masculinity constantly, even adopted it and perpetuated it further for a while before giving up. He is passionate about healthy masculinity and really understands it now. He is a fierce feminist and in for breaking the patriarchy.

A ship I have with said character: the thing is i hate Canon. I dont like the first sight first meet fall in love kind of thing they did with hunk and shay, but with what I headcanon shay as, I think she is perfect for him. He would balance her head on approach to stuff, and she will balance his tendency to ponder. He is a total simp for shay. He's a sucker for a simple calm life, while shay is on the ambitious side, and he fully supports her.

A BROTP I have with said character: hance is a given. heith! I will fucking die for this. I love thinking up stories of how Keith, despite being the one to struggle to open up, will inevitably fall for hunk. Hunk is just so approachable, so welcoming, so loving. I see hunk as also very fierce. He will stand in front as a literal physical shield to protect the ones he loves. He is dedicated when he loves and he never gives up on anyone. This is something he will share with Keith. One of the only people who will relate with Keith on a soul level on this. Punk!!! I love it. So much. Hunk is just amazing at platonic relationships. Hunk takes care of pidge a lot, they are his sibling. They simp on tech together ofc!! Even tho Shiro is everyone's dad, hunk cares for him, brings him his energy drinks and blankets all the time cause let's be real Shiro is low-key wishing death all the time and does not care for himself. Hunk is one of those peeps who scream SHIRO! NO! everytime Shiro makes a bad joke about death. Hunk's caring nature extends to everyone. Allura again is bad at taking care of herself, and he helps. He defo teaches allura samoan box braids!!! Coran too. Hunk bakes with coran sitting beside, chatting unrelentlessly but here's the thing, Hunk doesn't tolerate it. He genuinely likes listening to people and knowing them. One of the reasons he goes so well with Lance.

A NOTP I have with said character: humph he could go with anyone ngl. Shunk is extra weird to me, Shiro is a dad through and through i ew shaladins.

A random headcanon:

Despite what people think, hunk thinks he struggles with words. He uses food to express love. If he feels distant with anyone, he cooks for them.

Hunk does get tired after caring for people so much, but he has healthy nice fam around him who he lets take care of him too. He knows he needs to care for himself, and after some time of struggling with it, he now proudly take care of himself as well.

Hunk has struggled with severe anxiety. He has had panic attacks, complete meltdowns. His family was a bit pressurizing in terms of his career and all, and he has always felt responsible to get an excellent job in the stem section to make his parents proud.

He got into stem because of his parents, but he developed his love for it later too. He genuinely started finding STEM very interesting.

He contributed in making of fun robots in school's stem centres all the time. He had a teacher who was obsessed with making anime monsters, and even though hunk himself hates gore and shit he had fun making those and sometimes watched those weird ass animes and talked about how those wild ass writers were defo on weed while writing the script. He bonded over weeb stuff surprisingly with Shiro ;)

He hasn't been the smartest forever, like pidge. He actually worked his way to it. He is very dedicated, hard working and passionate.

He has undiagnosed ADD, but it hasn't interferred with him fitting in much. He has been able to do his work, and he recognized some tricks to focus early in life. His anxiety drives him to work as much as it distracts him. he just discovers his ADD later in therapy.

He makes pretty notes. He has an unhealthy obsession with pastel yellow highlighter.

Hunk is very well equipped with samoan tattoo art designs and understanding them. it's something his grandparents taught him since forever. His grandfather did tattoos and he saw them when he was little. He wants to get atleast some sort of soga'i miki. He's been always conflicted about wanting Pe'a cause its so beautiful and masculine in expression and not wanting it because it's so painful and permanent.

Because he has lived in America his whole life, he has struggled with his national identity a lot. He gets taunted by by family in samoa for being American and for speaking english better than samoan. He doenst always fit in well in america either for obvious reasons. He has struggled with feeling like he belongs. Its something he bonds with Lance on.

He is passionate about dismantling the social organization in samoa and its ill effects. He understands the systems and talks about their unfairness. This is something his distant and traditional family members get annoyed at him for.

He talks passionately about the freedom struggles of samoa and the samoan civil wars. He likes listening to stories of freedom fighters of samoa and great leaders. He is very critical of European colonization and takes no shit from europe apologists.

He is low-key a Satanist and likes to tell people about how God was super sexist to Lilith and how absolutely bullshit her banishment was,, how Satan is the coolest first feminist and made her the queen she is, and how Satan is the coolest dude for being the first rebel and equalist. He talks about how he gave us knowledge, and it created the world we are in rn or else we would still be all dumb and naked in the garden. His family is Christian and religious, he has read stories from bibles and come to the conclusions himself.

General Opinion over said character: i am horribly sad but I swear to God one cuddle from this cinnamon roll will cure me of everything

IMP NOTE: I am not samoan, but I read about countries where my favorite characters are from sometimes. I have started reading about che and communist Cuba for Lance too ;) All this info is from the internet, and I cannot say for sure its all good and true. If I am wrong with anything, please point it out.

THANKS FOR THIS! Now go drink water <3

#hunk garrett #voltron

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