#dunno if quick work works for me but eh...

[andthendk]

Drawing DC characters: Rose Wilson

- requested by frens -

(does she look like she has enough daddy issues 😂)

[honeysbeebears]

Sleepover Schemes // BKG

Bakugo Katsuki X Reader

In Japan, saying ‘the moon is beautiful’ is a common way to confess one’s feelings of love

Word count: a lot

Warnings: none other than I did not spell check this lol & bakugo might be a little ooc sorry

“Arent sleepovers against the rules?” You look up curiously at the girls surrounding your desk. Right now the class was on a quick break before heading over to the training session. Mina frantically began shushing you “yes! so don’t go saying it out loud like that girl!” You giggle softly “oops”

Uraraka speaks up “it’ll be fun though, we’ll have snacks, face masks, the works!” You nod, looking up at Momo “you mind if i bring makeup? I think a little makeover sesh would be fun too” Momo beams “of course! that sounds lovely” smiling back at her, you give everyone a thumbs up “im in!” the girls exclaim happy cheers before hushing up again once they realized they made a bit of a scene before going back to giggling quietly amongst themselves

In the distance, kirishima is looking over at the group in wonder “hm, wonder what’s got them all worked up” Kaminari, who is standing right next to him shrugs “eh you know them” Bakugo rolls his eyes, not paying any mind to either group before Sero speaks up

“I heard (L/N) say the word ‘sleepover’ though” with that, bakugo is glancing behind him to look at the three boys. They’re obviously up to no good

Kaminari rubs his hands together as if he’s a villain coming up with some elaborate scheme, which is exactly what he was doing “A sleepover huh?” Kirishima and Sero look at him quizzically “dude don’t tell me you-“ Kaminari quickly cuts him off “want to go spy on them?! You betcha!” He gives the boys a thumbs up, kirishima is looking a bit nervous “I dunno man, isn’t that like an invasion of privacy?” Sero nods in agreement, the yellow headed boy smirks once more at his two friends “you know what girls talk about at sleepovers….?” He says, the scheming tone in his voice evident. Bakugo is listening, not like he has a choice while he waits

“Crushes” with that, the look on Sero and Kirishima’s faces change into that of determination, Kaminari knows he’s got them convinced now. Bakugo once again sighs and rolls his eyes

“Don’t you guys want to know who a babe like (L/N) has the hots for?” He throws his arms around the two, looking at the both of them with conniving eyes. At the mention of your name, bakugo freezes as well, making an unwanted grunt that catches the attention of the three boys standing behind him

“Oh looks like Bakubro is interested as well, it’s because i mentioned (F/N) isn’t it?” He teases, Bakugo whips around in his chair “Shut the hell up dunce face” he shouts, his usual angry tone just slightly angrier at the allegation before turning back around, huffing and crossing his arms “Will you be joining us then? Cmon I know even someone like you can’t help but be curious” Before Bakugo can go off again, he looks over at your smiling face, and then imagines the three, in his words, idiots, messing with you and he sinks lower into his chair

“… Fine”

Kirishima looks down at him in shock “no way dude i totally was not expecting that” Bakugo scoffs, slightly embarrassed “I’m only going so you three ass munchers don’t do anything stupid” Kaminari covers his mouth to stifle a giggle “oh dude you’re so down bad you don’t even know it”

“I’ll blast you all the way to hell!”

The girls watch as Kaminari is running around the room, Bakugo chasing after him. Kaminari using the desks as a divider while kirishima and sero are laughing intensely at the scene

“What’s up with those guys?” Jiro questions, eyebrow raised, you shrug “you can never tell with them anymore” you and the other girls watch, entertained while Uraraka and Mina are cheering Kaminari on as he ‘breaks Bakugo’s ankles’ you giggle and join in

“Go get him Kacchan!” Bakugo looks over at you, angrily shouting back “shut your mouth before i blast your dumb ass all the way to hell!”

—

“Oh cmon (F/N) there’s gotta be someone you’re eyeballing i mean look at you” you quirk an eyebrow towards Mina, who’s been bugging you about this ever since you entered Momo’s room “and what’s that supposed to mean?” Mina starts wildly waving her hands around “i mean you’re like smoking hot girl! I didn’t mean it in a bad way” the other girls sitting around you agree in their own ways

You sigh a little, although you weren’t expecting that particular reason “even if i did like anyone I don’t really think it’d be reciprocated, im kind of a klutz” immediately your friends spring into action, showering you with compliments so much that you start to blush. You cover your face in embarrassment at the affection

“Why would you ever even think that? There’s so many dudes pining over you as we speak” Hagakure points out, she’s currently fixing her face mask that Momo had passed out to everyone

You playfully roll your eyes “oh yeah like who?” Thinking you were able to stump them there.

Jiro, who is sitting next to you, side eyes you, not really sure if you were being serious “dude” you whip your head to look at her in a surprised confusion, before you look at the rest of your friends who appear to share the same sentiment, you look at tsuyu, she’s honest right?

“I can name atleast 5 boys right now” the green haired girl points out. You’re simply flabbergasted “What? Who then” you cross your arms. One by one your friends speak in turn

“That boy from the sports festival, Shinso, seems to be quite interested in you after you almost won” Momo starts

“And that boy from 1B, Kaibara, ever since you helped him out at the sports festival he’s been lingering around to get your attention” Tsuyu adds

“Don’t even get me started on Amajiki-senpai, he literally said you reminded him of the sun and admitted you were one of the only people he felt comfortable around, he blushes so much around you im surprised the constant blood rushes haven’t been getting to him ” Jiro says

Your eyes are darting inbetween all of your beloved friends as they quite seriously list off a surprising amount of people, since when were they so observant? You shove your face back into your hands “ok I get it guys..” embarrassed is an understatement

“Oh! And bakugo too!” Uraraka happily points out, as if this was common knowledge, but for you this was the final nail in the coffin before you begin to practically steam out of how flustered you became “I highly doubt that” you managed to squeak out

You thought you were hearing things but you heard a soft thud somewhere in the room, you chose to ignore it

Momo gently strokes your hair, although she still found the predicament quite amusing

Mina finds this exciting, she begins to ponder and think about all of the interactions you’ve had with Bakugo since the beginning of the year

“Oh my god do you guys remember when…”

—

Evidence #1

Something was smelling quite good in the common area, and as everyone began filing down to prepare for the weekend morning they were met with quite the sight

You were baking cinnamon rolls for everyone, as a part of your weekly ritual of baking or cooking for the class. Bakugo happened to have woken up early, came down and found himself chatting to you as if it was a normal thing for him to do

There you were, happily conversing with Bakugo as you were mixing what appeared to be frosting in a bowl. He wasn’t adorned with any sort of scowl, his eyebrows weren’t furrowed and he was silently watching you while listening to whatever story you were telling him, if they didn’t know any better they would’ve thought it was admiration. Of course, upon seeing the two, the usual suspects surrounded them completely disregarding what they stumbled upon, and bakugo was quick to throw angry insults at them

Mina noted the soft expression on his face before the boys had shown up

—

Evidence #2

“Uhm (F/N), do you and Bakugo normally walk to class together?” Upon entering the classroom and walking to your desk, your friends were gathered into their usual group right next to it, you shrug before answering “yeah, for some reason I’ve been managing to catch him just before we enter the building, weird coincidence but i don’t mind it’s pretty nice company, plus when we were kids we’d walk to school together sometimes” your friends deadpan at the last bit ‘bakugo… nice company?’

They all look over to see bakugo arguing with the other guys about some mundane topic, of course he was the most aggressive, yelling and making the usual scene, they simply looked at his comically scowling face before simultaneously thinking ‘not a chance’

Jiro makes a mental note that when she walked into the building, she saw Kirishima run into Bakugo who was standing at the entrance, asking to walk to class together before Bakugo shuts Kirishima down, saying something akin to “Hell no I’m busy!” Kirishima gives him a puzzled look before seeing Kaminari and telling Bakugo he’d see him later

Could it be..?

—

Evidence #3

“I won’t repeat myself asshat, let go of her now” Everyone in the class froze, staying silent, usually he’d be screaming this sort of demand. he was seriously pissed off beyond belief. His eyes pierced into the boy who had his wrapped his arm around your shoulders, Shindo. You awkwardly smile “Bakugo im sure he doesn’t mean any harm-“ before you can finish your sentence you feel something tug on your wrist, ripping you from the black haired boys grasp. You blink in shock, looking up you see Bakugo’s fiery eyes that speak a thousand words, but he only speaks two. “Get lost” his voice absolutely dripping in venom as he slightly tightened his grip he’d laid on your shoulder

Shindo stares back, his eyes narrowing before he throws on a smile “My bad, bro, hey listen im sorry, let’s do our best out there o-“ he holds his hand out to Bakugo to shake, before Bakugo swaps his hand away, turning the both of you around “your words don’t match that expression on your face, i said get lost”

Everyone slowly began to speak amongst themselves again, Bakugo wordlessly handing you over to Kirishima and Mina before spinning around to wander off somewhere else. You simply watch him go, he really was pissed off, mumbling some obscenities. You almost missed the gentle yet tight squeeze he gave your shoulder when he let go.

—

Final Evidence

“Midoriya, you’ve known those two for awhile right?” Mina asks, everyone is currently training, but a small group is sitting by taking a break. Midoriya looks up after taking a drink of water, his eyes land on the two

“I can’t breathe…” you exhale your words, Kirishima is rubbing your back comfortingly as the training gets to you, Bakugo rolls his eyes “you damn lazy shithead you’re never gonna beat me with that lazy ass attitude of yours” You look up at him and glare before smirking, dramatically falling back on kirishima’s chest with your hand on your forehead “I can’t breathe… there’s no room in Kacchan’s EGO, can we go now?!” and just like that, Bakugo is on your ass as you zoom away with your quirk, screaming about how he’s gonna murder you

Midoriya smiles “yep, honestly i cant really imagine what it’d be like without her, she’s been like a middle ground between the two of us ever since junior high, a voice of reason” he has a gentle smile on his face before it drops in an instant and he cringes remembering that time, a chill going up his spine “honestly I don’t think I would’ve survived junior high without her…” before Mina can question that bit he starts to ramble

“Me and (F/N) are best friends, but her and bakugo have this special connection. She’s able to read him like a book, understand him to a level I just can’t. It’s truly fascinating” he looks at Bakugo’s smiling face as he dangles you upside down off a rock formation, of course it’s mostly his usual angry grin but somewhere under there is a genuine smile as you laugh while telling him to put you down

“I’m sure he feels the same way I do, he just has a funny way of showing it”

Mina makes a mental note of this

—

You’re now laid flat on Momo’s bed, each bit of ‘evidence’ making you blush harder and harder, and they just keep going

“And when we were picking vocals for the festival, he refused to be drums unless you sang also, ribbit”

You shoot up, steaming “okayyy guys please stop” Momo looks at you with a pitiful expression “yeah I think she gets the point girls”

Mina still needs to know though

“Okay fine but can you atleast tell us, if you had to pick, who would you date?!” Shes gripping a pillow to her chest in anticipation. You think to yourself once you regain your composure, deep in thought for a moment before taking a deep breath in.

“Shut up” Kirishima whispers, nudging Kaminari as he can tell the boy is absolutely struggling to keep in his laughter, who can blame him though when Bakugo Katsuki himself is blushing from ear to ear from all the information he’s just learned

Boys like you? That many? And how could they know he liked you? He didn’t even know that. There is absolutely no chance in hell he’d ever consider thinking of you that way the thought of it is absurd

Atleast that’s what he told himself

He was about to tell the both of them to shut up before the sound of your timid voice brings him back to reality

“If.. if I had to… I guess it would be..” everyone, including the invading boys, are sweating in anticipation, Bakugo’s palms are slightly damper than usual

“Bakugo..” you finally muster out, barely audible, the girls cheer and clap at your admittance and the boys look at Bakugo’s absolutely shocked expression, they don’t tease though, not right now in such a compromising place

“But it would never happen” for some reason this statement makes him upset, what’s that supposed to mean?

“We both have the ultimate goal of becoming heroes, and we both can’t afford to become distracted with romance, plus I really don’t think he’d ever see me that way, he sees me as an annoying little kid who’s been sticking around since diapers” you laugh, albeit pitifully, at the end of your sentence, the girls don’t know what to say or how to comfort you, they know you know him better than anyone, so if you say it then it’s probably true

Probably

Mina gives her a big hug “aw im sorry for making you sad” you give her a gentle squeeze back “im not upset, don’t worry about it” she holds your shoulders and smiles before deciding on what you all were gonna do next

“How about we sneak over to 7 eleven, I bet we’re dying for some snacks right now” Uraraka shoots up “yes please!”

And just like that the energy in the room is back to its happy self, you giggling and nodding in agreement

As the group of you all put on your shoes, you ask Momo if you can borrow a hoodie from her closet

The closet, uh oh

The boys are frantically looking at each other, whispering ‘what do we do?!’ over and over, absolutely panicking

Internally, Bakugo is freaking out the most. What would he even do if you find out he heard everything you said? Would things be the same? Not that he cares.

They watch you come over to the closet, bracing, preparing for the worst as you begin to open the door

You softly swing the closet door open, and immediately the sight leaves you frozen in place

In front of you, on the floor of the closet are the boys, and Bakugo, and he’s looking at you with this angrily embarrassed look on his face, cheeks flushed. You blink and feel your cheeks heat up, spinning your head around as Momo asks what’s taking you so long, you look back at the boys, pleading with you with their eyes. You glare at the group of them before shutting the door in their face , telling momo you changed your mind on the hoodie

Relief was an understatement as the door to the dorm shuts and locks, the boys all loosen up as they give out a sigh, sinking to the wall and floor

“I thought we were goners for sure there!” Sero says, still terrified “luckily (F/N) is so cool, if it were anyone else we’d be dead for sure” Kirishima adds

Bakugo feels his phone buzz, he pulls it out to see a message and he freezes

(F/N): you guys better be out of there by the time we come back, I mean it.

He opens the closet door, and gets up “let’s get the fuck out of here, im never doing that shit again you fuckers” this time the boys don’t argue, and they all scurry out of the room, Bakugo says nothing as they go back to their respective rooms, and the boys decide not to push their luck tonight

By the time you return, snacks in hand, you look to the closet before walking over to open it again. ‘Empty. Good’ you thought. Atleast they listened to you, you were ready to rip them a new one if they decided to stick around after you gave them a saving grace

Momo asks what you’re doing, you say you’re admiring her clothes before asking what movie they picked to watch

—

After that, neither you nor bakugo had spoken a word to each other. For over a week the atmosphere in the classroom is thick with tension, Midoriya is the first to point it out to you while you’re hanging out in his dorm

“Uh.. (F/N)?” He looks up from the controller in his hand, the ‘victory player 1’ text on the screen on the TV blinking at him

You come down from your winning grin “yes Izuku?” He fiddles with the buttons before finally asking

“What’s up with you and Kacchan?” You are speechless, he noticed? Of course he noticed he’s Izuku.

You sigh, sinking into his bed, back against the wall it’s connected to “no point in lying to you huh?” Izuku gives a light laugh “after all this time, no” he looks at you expectantly

Putting down the controller you turn your head to look at him

“I think.. im in love with kacchan” hearing you admit it out loud after all this time was surreal, you thought it was something you’d take to the grave.

Izuku is shocked, of course, he never imagined his two childhood friends would catch feelings towards each other. He’s also used to you being the one giving him comfort or reassurance. He’s not very experienced in the romance department as is, so he’s not sure what to say to you about that. But he does know you like the back of his hand. You give him the same reason you give the girls as to why you’re never gonna tell him. You also tell him he heard everything.

“Wow that must’ve been super embarrassing..” he says, you face palm “I know! I can’t bring myself to look at him, and honestly the fact that he won’t look at me says something too..” you say, dejectedly. Izuku puts his hand on your shoulder, giving you a gentle smile “listen, im not the best with romance n all, but from what I know about the two of you, I think it’s best to just talk it out. You two don’t have to date, but maybe it’ll do the both of you good to get some sort of closure..” the look on your face is hard to read, he guesses you’re taking all of this in “id really hate to see you two drift apart over something like this, after everything we’ve all been through together.. plus I think you’d be surprised over what he has to say”

For some reason, you start to tear up, his words really got to you.

You missed bakugo, and you really didn’t want to lose him

“Is it really worth a try?” You mutter, looking down at your hands, Izuku puts his own hand on top of yours, making you look up back at him “it’s better to try than to not try at all”

—

Back in your dorm, you stare at your phone as if it’ll start moving on its own

You angrily sigh, snatching it up before finally writing the text you’ve been thinking about sending

(F/N): Hi

Bakugo: what do you want?

Ouch, for some reason that hurts a little after not talking in so long. You know not to take it too seriously though, you’re just glad he replied so fast

Bakugo is also mentally smacking himself for saying something like that right off the bat

(F/N): I was just wondering…

(F/N): Can we talk?

The boy stares at the message, of course he does, the awkward silence that’s been going on between the two of you has been miserable even if he didn’t want to admit it. He scoffs, finally deciding to reply after a few minutes

Bakugo: Ok

(F/N): okay! you want me to go to yours?

Bakugo: That’s fine

Bakugo: Actually, meet me on the roof in 10

Bakugo throws his phone down. He shoves his face into his pillow, screaming

He had no idea what to expect

Heading up to the rooftop, he’s surprised to find you there waiting for him first. He stands there for a moment, watching your hair flow in the gentle night breeze. You’re holding your knees up to your chest, shivering. You were cold

He scoffs, shrugging off his zip up hoodie

You’re shocked when a soft, warm fabric drapes your shoulders. Looking up, Bakugo is looking away from you “dumbass, you didn’t bring a sweater? if it weren’t for me you’d freeze to death” you giggle, exceedingly happy to finally hear him speak to you again

“Hello to you too” he ignores your greeting, taking a seat next to you to enjoy the view as well

“What’s wrong with you?” He speaks up after an uncomfortable few minutes of silence, you sit up straight “Me?! What’s wrong with you?!” Bakugo’s eyebrows furrowed and he shouts back “there’s nothing wrong with me idiot!” He turns to glare at you but he’s surprised when his eyes are met with your smiling face. He looks away “the hell you smiling for weirdo?” You notice the pink tint on the tip of his ears

“I guess.. I just missed you” now it’s his turn to sit up straight, he feels chills run up his body but he equates it to the coldness of the night

He says nothing at first, before looking back at you. You’re now looking up at the sky, a content look on your face. Your eyes are sparkling, and your skin is glowing. He shakes his head, not wanting to think of anything like that before you break the silence again

“the moon sure is beautiful, hm?”

Damnit. Once again, bakugo is speechless. Did you really say that?

He’s brought back to a moment in grade school

~~~

“I’m gonna confess to the person I love just like that!” You point at the movie the two of you decided to watch, bakugo looks at you in disgust “ew I did not need to know that you freak” you pout “come on wouldn’t it be so sweet?!” He shoves your face away from his as you swoon “whatever just get off me” you pout once again

~~~

He’s brought back to reality by the way you turn to look at him once more. This look in your eyes makes him feel uneasy, unfamiliar, but he can’t look away.

“yeah.. I guess”

Your eyes sparkle, you look back up up to the sky before mustering up the courage

You grab his hand that’s next to yours

He doesn’t do anything, he stays there, still as a rock before you speak up again

“I know you heard what me and the girls said that night” he meets your gaze, and you’re giving him a serious look that almost freaks him out but he lets you continue

“I didn’t want that to change our friendship, but I guess I was too scared that you’d hate me-“

“In what world would I hate you?”

His voice is so soft it makes your heart beat skip, and now it’s your turn to be freaked out about the serious look in his eyes

“Well I- uh. You see-!” You slap yourself, bakugo is taken aback and is about to question you until you finally say what you’ve been wanting to say for years

“Bakugo Katsuki, Im in love with you!”

There it is. That determined look in your eyes that the boy has never gotten sick of, your breathing is heavy and you’re avoiding eye contact at all costs, but you did it. You fucking said it

“I realized it after we stopped talking, I mean how stupid and cliche is that huh? You never know what you have until it’s gone? God what’s wrong with me, I just needed to tell you because it’s better to try you know?! I don’t wanna fuck up what we have, I mean shit it’s been so long you know. God I ruin everything I’m sorry forget I-“

“Stop talking, you sound like that stupid Deku, god you need to stop hanging around him so much”

You freeze up. You peek a glance to bakugo, he’s kept the same serious look on his face

“You didn’t even give me a chance to reply, dumbass”

His grip on your hand tightens, and he intertwines his fingers with yours. You stop breathing

“I don’t know shit about.. love.. or whatever, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me, I can’t place it but the way you.. god, ugh..” he grits his teeth, his cheeks tainted pink, eyebrows furrowed and clearly angry but embarrassed

“God damn it (F/N) you drive me fucking crazy! It feels fucking stupid to just call it some dumb shit like love, it’s like you’re messing with my head all the time, I don’t fucking understand these.. these.. shit! you-” he meets your gaze, and his own softens

“I just can’t.. lose you, yknow?”

So he feels the same way you do, then. you lean your head on his shoulder, and he doesn’t back away

“You’d never lose me, Katsuki” the use of his first name makes his stomach flip. He wants to stay like this

He wants more moments like this

“We.. we don’t have to rush things, and I won’t force you to share your feelings with me, I think that’s something you should figure out on your own” he scoffs, he doesn’t need to figure shit out

“(F/N)” he says your name matter of factly, you lift your head to look up at him before you feel something soft on your lips

Your eyes go wide, you stiffen up until his hand grazes your cheek gently. As if he was scared you’d break under his touch. You shut your eyes, trying to relax into the kiss

Shakily, you snake your arms around his neck, and he deepens his embrace

Passion, fear, so many emotions and words that could never be said were being spoken through this moment. Everything he’s wanted to say to you, you could feel through the way his lips enveloped your own, the way he gently caressed your back in a comforting manner. All of his feelings, you understood

He’s the one who separates first, you’re left in a daze as he avoids your eyes once more

“That’s all you’re getting out of me, don’t expect more” you giggle, making bakugo look back at you

“Don’t fucking laugh at me you little-“

“Bakugo” he stops, looking at you skeptically, you smile back at him “from now on.. let’s just be us, no more holding back, no more secrets” you tilt your head at him, the gesture makes his own heart skip a beat and his palms are sweatier than usual

“Y-yeah.. whatever I don’t fucking care”

He gives your hand a squeeze “one day, when im number one,..” his red eyes pierce your own “I’ll make you mine, you got that?” You nod, a little flustered at his declaration before gathering up even more courage than before

“What’re you-“ you cut him off with a kiss to the cheek, then a kiss to the forehead, bakugo is getting increasingly more red by each kiss you place on his face and you back away to look at him. he’s got that same scowl on his face that’s a touch softer “the hell was that-“ you cut him off again with a kiss to the lips once more

This time, hes the one who’s frozen in shock, you cup his cheek in your hand, deepening the kiss slightly before you break it. Bakugo almost wants to pull you in for more but all he can give you is a blank expression as you whisper in his ear

“I’m already yours”

He can’t even muster up any words before you’re standing up, pretending like your face isn’t on fire . “Okay! Let’s head inside it’s getting too cold, how about I make us some tea yeah?” He just watches intently as you make your way to the door before following you, wordlessly he grabs your hand as you continue your speech about the different types of teas and what he’d like. You smile when he grabs your hand again, and he smiles when you squeeze his gently

…

“Aw man I lost!” When the door shuts, 4 people emerge from various hiding spots amongst the roof

Mina saunters over to the three boys before holding out her hand “pay up losers” she sings to them, begrudgingly the three place several yen dollars into her hand

You were the one to confess first, after all, looks like her and Kaminari’s sleepover plan worked

~~~

“I’m glad you and kacchan are back to normal, (f/n)” at lunch, about two weeks after the roof incident, you’re sitting with midoriya, you give him a happy look, nodding “yep! better than ever me and him” you can’t stop the blush from forming on your face, you’re saved by a familiar voice

“Oi (F/N)” you look up and grin, he stands there with his scowl. Usually, you’d get up and follow him to eat lunch alone together, but this time you decided otherwise

“Let’s sit here today Katsuki!” You beam at him, he wants to argue with you but he decides it’s not worth it, he groans before pouting as he plops in the seat next to you, you smile “wow, no yelling today bakubro?” Kirishima smirks at bakugo, before Bakugo can retort, Kaminari, unfortunately, starts up again

“You two sure are close nowadays~” Bakugo glares daggers at Kaminari “mind your business you rat” his fist slams the table. under the table, you feel his hand take yours, entwining your fingers “nothings fuckin changed” he mutters. you glance at him, smiling as he begins to eat his food

The conversations moves forward, and throughout Bakugo, or you, have yet to let go of the others hand, like it’s naturally this way as you speak amongst your friends

‘Yeah…’ you think to yourself, stealing glances , admiring his crimson red eyes, his spiky blonde hair, and the way he sends quick retorts back to your other classmates when they annoy him

He glances at you, admiring your infectious laugh, your soft hair, your glowing aura, you

Yeah, nothings changed

End

____

Sorry about spelling mistakes I did not realize this would be this long, I thought of the sleepover thing and thought it would be funny and then boom it spiraled out of control

Hope you enjoyed! This is my first time posting a oneshot here so im kinda nervous pls be nice to me ;-;

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Say it Dirty - An Alfie Solomons/Reader One Shot Story.

For my babes @cillmequick and @zablife. Enjoy!

Words - 1,467

Warnings - Smut below the cut, minors DNI!

Alfie. One could never use the word tall to describe the gangster rum distiller of Camden town, but suffice to say, he is big. He takes up space. He has presence. Alfie is so wide in both physical width and the enormity of his personality, he fills whatever room he happens to be within.  

Everything about Alfie is imposing. That is why you fell for him in the first place. What gets your blood tingling with desire the most, though... 

“Next lad!”  

Oh, that enormous voice. He doesn’t shout often, but when he does, it sends your knees to jelly.  

“Next lad!” 

He’s handing out the weekly wages, the precise count out of pounds, shillings and pence into a small paper envelope, handing them to each of his employees for their, ahem, “baking” endeavours. The smell of the rum within the large casks fills your nose as you walk past them down in the dingy distillery, moving past the line and entering Alfie’s office.  

“Bear with me, sweetheart.” He doesn’t even need to look up from his desk to know you’ve arrived. He can smell the sweet notes of your perfume in a sea of rum and sweaty men a mile off. “Just gotta get these fellas paid, innit.”  

You perch on the edge of his desk, his hand moving to stroke your thigh fleetingly. “Next lad!” God, you’ll melt off the edge of the desk if you’re not careful. “Is there a fuckin’ reason you’re gorping, boy?”  

“Um, n-no, Mr. Solomons.”  

Alfie lowers his spectacles, raising his eyebrows. “You seriously comin’ in here for your pay, and giving me missus the once over with your beady little eyes while you’re here, eh? Nah, son. Off you fuck, while you still have them legs to carry ya. Just know, though. If I ever see you lookin’ at her like that again, yeah, it’ll be the last fuckin’ time you have eyes, mate.”  

The young man takes his wages with a stiff gulp. “S-s-sorry, Mr. Solomons.”  

“Ain’t me you was lookin’ at like a slab of meat.” He folds his arms, jerking his head in your direction, a smile spreading beneath his beard. “Apology should be directed at me wife, really.” 

“I apologise, Mrs. Solomons.” He’s steadier when talking to you, wringing his cap between his hands nervously all the same.  

Alfie studies you, watching you nod. “Alright, fuck off outta here. Next lad!” He scurries from the office, your husband continuing to hand out each wage envelope and mark it off with a pencil strike in the ledger. With the last lad paid, he stands, moving before you.  

“Now, how about I take my little turtle dove out for a bit of nosh, yeah?” Well, that’s the sole reason you came to meet him from work, after all. He goes for a quick wash and to change his shirt before you leave, yet when he returns, he finds you not quite as ready to leave as he is.  

The double take at seeing you sitting atop his desk naked is priceless, eyes touring your bare curves with much interest. “My darlin’, I dunno what kind of fuckin’ restaurant you think we’re going to, right, but it ain’t the kind where the customers sit about naked.”  

“Can’t help it,” you purr, pulling him close, hands smoothing over his fresh shirt. “See it’s when you raise your voice, Alfie, when you get defensive of me, too. It does things to me, that voice of yours.”  

He looks quietly thrilled at that. You don’t quite know how one can raise an eyebrow with cocky intent, but Alfie nails it every time. “Yeah, that right, love? You like the sound of my voice? Why don’t you sit on my cock while I talk to you, then?” 

Grasping his shirt, you pull him close. “That’s exactly what I had in mind, Alf.”  

Your lips meet in a slow tempest, all heat and honey, his hands beginning to glide where his eyes have already roamed, touring your bare flesh keenly. When his mouth follows, you whimper, each kiss sinking into your skin, the soft of his beard coaxing tickles over your flesh. Hot hands adorned in cool gold knead at your thighs, fingers slipping between.  

The sweet sting of him toying with your clit radiates, little pricks of pleasure trickling down your spine, puddling at those clever fingers, his teeth sharp at your neck. “Always did love my hands, didn’t ya, dove?”  

You hum in appreciative response against his tongue, mouths locked, those fingers you do indeed love so much thrusting within. He opens you, pushing greedily, his raspy chuckle low and self-satisfied at each little mewl that pours from your mouth like wine, your cunt clenching around each rotation as he roots those thick digits, so inordinately deep.  

“Fuck, get in the chair,” you pant, hands moving to slide his braces down, undoing his trousers. “I need to ride you. Now.” 

He chuckles, his thumb rolling over your clit sending sparks to skitter wildly. “Ain’t half a demanding little mare tonight, aint’cha?” 

“Yeah,” you breathe, Alfie letting his trousers and undergarments fall to pool at his ankles, sitting down in the chair and guiding you astride him. “But then I always did know what’s good for me.” Taking him, you squeeze the thick of his rigidity, pushing him to your glistening opening and dropping down until you’re full.  

You can feel every inch of him pressing your soft walls, thick and heavy, his hand weaving into your hair and pulling until you arch for him, bending like a crescent moon. “Fuckin’ ‘ell, look at that body bow for me. Can’t wait to watch these pretty little tits bounce while you ride me, darlin’.”  

His mouth devours you, nipples sucked and bitten, his free hand grasping your hip as you begin to roll against him, his girth sending sensations to flutter up your spine, fizzing like champagne bubbles, the hint of teeth upon the peak of your nipple sending glimmers to join them. “Ain’t even half started properly yet, and this sweet little cunt is like a fuckin’ lake. Yeah, look at you. So fucking pretty for me, ain’t ya? So pretty and sweet, split open on me.”  

His words mist hot beneath your skin, rising like steam, the torrent of seductive filth unabating. “Think I could have you like this on me for hours, and I wouldn’t get tired of watching you gripping tight on my cock. And you would, wouldn’t ya? Yeah, you’d keep giving, my beautiful, cock hungry little doe.”  

His thumb stretches, and it sends a rain of pleasure pelting through you when he brings it to your clit, circling, your bundle twitching against the stroke, your toes gripping on the floorboards beneath as you begin to ride him with more determination. “That’s it, sweet. Show me how much you love this cock.”  

The moan seeps from your lips, sweet and slow, like thick syrup, the clasp of your cunt tight upon him, the sound of him punching into the very wet of you lewd, mixing with the slap of your arse smacking hard against his solid thighs. It’s a symphony of utter sin, his groans adding delicious baritone, your tits bouncing, his hands moving to clutch them as his tongue swipes your cleavage.  

His touch has lightning forking from nerve to nerve, your ministrations greedy in desperate need to come around him, wet his cock further with the dew of your orgasm, your hands fisting tight in his hair, a shift of his hips sending him deeper into the flutter of your cunt.  

You sob his name, and he pushes even deeper, so heavy and overwhelming within you. “Come on, my beautiful little darlin’. Come pretty for me on this cock.”  

Oh, how you do, the pleasure burning neon through your nerves, a sky of colours painted over you as it topples you completely. The scream it pulls from you has him twitching, and he becomes caught in the tide of it, cock pressed filthily deep into the rhythmic clasping of you, spilling hard, everything tense undoing and softening to��fluid bliss. You both swim in it, adrift on the endless ocean, panting against one another.  

“Fuck, that worked up a right appetite,” he finally breaths, kissing your neck as you roll your eyes. 

“Do you ever cease thinking about your stomach?” 

He chuckles, low and dirty. “Yeah. I often think about how good me wifey feels when she fucks me like she just did. And you can count on it, treacle, that I’ll be thinkin’ about it for the rest of the night an’ all.” 

The way he keeps stealing heated glances at you all the way through dinner, you’re left in little doubt of that, too.  

[six-eyed-samurai]

SUMMARY: You find a love letter for you but the wrong guy; Hitoshi regrets only signing with his initials. A/N: The author wrote this sleep deprived, dehydrated, in the dark and completely running on an adrenaline rush so please excuse the sloppy work... WARNINGS: Minor IzuOcha, probably OOC Shinsou

“Stop denying it, Ochaco-chan! We can all see Midoriya lo-o-o-o-oves you!”

You giggled, using the books you were clutching as a shield from Ochaco’s attempt at slapping a hand over your mouth. She gave up and hid her red face instead. “We’re just friends!”

“But I saw you so jealous that day, are you sure about that?” You hum slyly, bumping her shoulder. The both of you stop in front of your locker, a quick stop before heading back to class. The hallways were buzzing with chatter about the recent UA sports festival, but you were more interested in what you had seen that day.

“Huh? When?!”

You haphazardly shoved your books into your locker then tapped a finger against your chin, playing dumb and pretending to think. “I dunno, maybe when Hatsume from the support course and Midoriya were talking? I’m sure he thinks her ‘babies’ are cute!”

“Wait, really?” Ochaco groaned, momentarily forgetting her denying before her eyes widened. “I mean, not that I care! Her babies - I mean her inventions are pretty creative!”

“But I’m sure Midoriya thinks you’re cuter~” You teased, using your hip to close your locker door, gleefully watching your friend blush and stutter. “But if you both ever get together, I’m your wingman, alright? He doesn’t look like he could hold your hand without having a panic attack, but if he does anything wrong no one will ever find his-”

“Eh, enough!” Ochaco just about yelled, this time successfully slapping a hand over your mouth. “It’s not like that! It’s - oh, you dropped something. Let me pick it up for you!”

“Huh? A paper - oh, wait, no, it’s an envelope?” Your name was written in neat handwriting at the back, leaving no doubt to you and Ochaco that this was for you, but at the same time you don’t remember ever seeing such a thing in your life.

“A letter? Who could it be from?” Ochaco leaned over your shoulder to read as you slipped a slightly crumpled note out.

I think you’re one of the prettiest girls at UA - the prettiest, really, with an amazing personality and talent to match. I’ve liked you since the first day, but watching you at the sports festival really sealed the deal. You’re practically on my mind all the time and just seeing you is enough to make my day - I could stare you forever and never get bored with what I see. Every time we pass by I really want talk to you, but I’m not really sure how to confess, so I hope this note will do.

-H.S.

“A LOVE LETTER? Oh my gosh, it’s so cute and romantic! You’re so lucky!” Ochaco began to shake your shoulders eagerly. “Who could it be from? Our class or 1B?”

“I have no idea, what do you think?” Your finger brushed over the oddly sweet words, your heart thumping a little faster. Judging by the heat in your cheeks you must be blushing too. “H.S….I wonder who could that be?”

“Not a lot of people have those initials,” Ochaco pointed out. “There isn’t a lot of people with names starting with H either.”

“I guess that narrows it down to…” You scrunched up your forehead, deep in thought. “I know there’s Hiryu from 1B, but then it should be H.R. instead of S. No one else in 1B.”

“Huh, then it must be from our class!” Ochaco exclaimed. You both turned to look at each other at once, the same idea ringing in your heads . “There’s only one H there too!”

“Hanta Sero?!”

***

In retrospect perhaps that note was terribly written and - he winced - cringey.

Serve Hitoshi right for writing it at 2 a.m. in the morning, sleep deprived, dehydrated, in the dark and completely running on nothing but an adrenaline rush. The same rush he’d get every time he’d spot you in the hallways that would create just a little smile on his deadpan expression.

Hitoshi wouldn’t be surprised if you completely laughed off the note, but he couldn’t help but hope for some other kind of reaction - the kind where you’d get excited and figure out it was him; Hitoshi knew you wouldn’t just fall in love like that but at least he’d get a shot at friendship. When he’d been writing the note and being delusional he’d imagine you’d liked him all this time as well.

But being realistic he knew the best he could hope for was simply a brief interest in the letter’s writer before a polite rejection.

Maybe Hitoshi shouldn’t have signed it like that.

Actually, a bunch of maybe-I-shouldn’t-haves were running through his head so loudly Hitoshi would’ve thought somebody was brainwashing him as he spied on you and Ochaco from a little way off. It was wrong and very creepy, Hitoshi was painfully aware, but the urgent need to just know what your reaction was to his stupid confession was.

Who even confesses through a love letter these days? It was just lame and he didn’t even write it properly. God, he really should have grown a pair, manned up and spoken to you directly-

Something in him melted, probably his heart, into a mushy puddle of lovesickness as Hitoshi watched you giggle quietly reading it, a pink tinge rising. You were always so cute. Even if you rejected the writer just seeing that look would’ve been worth it.

Then you cracked his confidence in half and just about gave him a heart attack.

“Hanta Sero?!”

No, it’s me, Hitoshi nearly shouted. I’m the one who wrote the letter, I’m the one who wants you to know that, I’m the one who looks at you like you hung the moon and stars up in the sky, the one who’s the biggest fan of you and the one who’s your biggest supporter during the sports festival.

And I’m the one falling onto the ground because my legs are jelly and I can’t believe you don’t know me after all and you’re going to go like someone else and I just caused that, Hitoshi wanted to add. Oh god they had the wrong H.S. and his own anxiety wouldn’t let him tell them otherwise.

Hitoshi really shouldn’t have signed it like that.

***

You walked out of the cafe, happy that your date with Sero had gone well but still disappointed.

Not in him, obviously. He had been pretty flattered when someone like you had asked somebody like him out to lunch, as Sero had put it, and in turn you were to that he would think like that. Your time together had passed with nonstop banter and laughter and you could happily call him a friend now, but the both of you had kind of agreed that while you had chemistry it wasn’t the romantic kind. There wasn’t that click.

Also he had been pretty confused when you had alluded to the note, dropping hints that eventually led you to realize he had zero idea of what you were talking about, so embarrassing as it was (hey, the writer meant it for only your eyes, right?…alright, so what if you didn’t want to share this private little sweetness?) you pulled out the letter and handed it to him.

“It’s pretty romantic but I didn’t write that. H.S. sounds familiar though - I mean, not because it’s my initials! I think I remember someone with those initials.”

“You’re not, like, offended I only asked you out because of the note, are you?” You had asked worriedly. That sounded horribly shallow and you were internally panicking everyone would get the wrong idea.

Thankfully Sero laughed it off. “Hey, I’d do the same! I hope you’re not too upset it’s just old me?”

“Of course not!”

So it ended on good terms, even with probably no plans for continuation. Sero’s last words still echoed in your head however, making you walk with your head up in the clouds of deep thought and speculation. “I’ll ask around if anyone knows a H.S. - I think they’re either from the support course or general studies.” You were pretty sure you don’t know anyone from those classes though…

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Embarrassment had you blustering apologies to the poor indigo-haired guy you had just walked into and knocked his coffee cup out of his hand, spilling it all over the sidewalk “I’m sorry, I didn’t see where I was going!”

“It’s fine, calm down,” he said reassuringly, although his drink was anything but. You breathed a sigh of relief that at least it hadn’t made a huge mess on his clothes. “It was an accident anyway.”

“No, but I spilled your coffee-” The same sign on the fallen cup and the one above the shop’s window caught your eye and you brightened. “Hey, how about I buy you another one instead? As an apology. I might as well buy one myself if it’s good.”

His eyebrows rose. “Sounds alright to me.”

“Great!” You followed him back into the coffee store and made a beeline to the counter, placing your order and waited for him to choose his. Much to your surprise he gave your name to the barista when asked - had you met him before or something?

The corner of his mouth turned up slightly when he spotted your confused face as you paid. “You’re from UA’s heroes course, right? I go there too, in the general studies course.”

“Wait, you do? What a coincidence!” Your eyes widened as you beamed. “But hey, it’s not fair that you know my name and I don’t know yours!”

“Shinsou,” he offered.

You repeated it. “Suits you.”

“Yours too.” Shinsou took a sip of his drink as he and you walked out of the store. “So, tell me, what’s got you so distracted that you had to make me drop my first coffee?”

“I already made up for that!” You protested to his teasing tone, but then you awkwardly laughed wondering how to explain your thoughts. “Just got back from a date.”

“Oh?” You didn’t see Shinsou’s eye twitch at the mention of that, but he kept his tone casual. “Did it go south or something?”

“No, it’s just - uh, he just wasn’t who I thought it was.” You winced. That didn’t sound right and didn’t even make sense. “I mean I got a confession by note a while ago and I thought it was from him, but it turns out it wasn’t, so I really have no idea now. And maybe I am a little bummed it didn’t go like I thought it would. ”

Shinsou hummed in reply. “That must suck. So you really want to know who wrote the note?”

“Yeah, he was pretty sweet about it.” The shade of pink on your cheeks were threatening to deepen, so you willed yourself to stop thinking about it. Yet something about Shinsou’s friendliness just made you trust him, like him already.

It didn’t help he was also pretty good looking. “I dunno, I’ve just never met a guy who thought so high of me and it was really flattering and nice and all.”

“I see…tell you what.” Shinsou wasn’t really smiling but something in his eye sparkled with excitement. “If you’re up to it, I think this coffee would go well with some cake - and I know a good place.”

You stopped short, blinking while your brain processed his words. You began to giggle; Shinsou was pretty to look at and had an easygoing manner you liked, but you wanted to return his teasing prod from earlier. “Are you asking me out? And why should I say yes? I did just spill your coffee on our first meeting.”

“Well.” Shinsou was a little way ahead of you but stopped and glanced back with a half-smile. “My name’s Hitoshi Shinsou.”

“Oh my god.”

So of course you went on the date with him and he was just as sweet as the dessert.

[7ndipity]

Second Glances

Yoongi x Reader

Summary: You and Yoongi have been best friends for years, but after you confess you feelings for him, Yoongi realizes he might have misread his own feelings towards you.

Word Count: 1.9K

Warnings: slight angst, swearing, lil suggestive at the end, partially proofread

A/N: Thanks so much to @whitefoxgirl for this request! Tbh, I'm not entirely happy with this, but I didn’t want to leave you hanging for ages while I nitpicked.🙄 I hope you still like it tho💜

Masterlist

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It was a strange thing, how you could go on seeing someone the same way for years, and then all of a sudden, something happens and turns you on your head.

When Hobi had first introduced you to his fellow members after you moved to Seoul, you and Yoongi had clicked instantly, much to the surprise of everyone else. No one could quite understand it, but the two you had seemed to fit together naturally like two halves of a whole, the yin to his yang; while he was on the quieter, more introverted side, you were bright and loud, with an infectious enthusiasm. A prime example of that being the way he could hear you and Hobi before you ever entered his studio, laughing loudly as you rushed through the door ahead of his bandmate.

“There’s no way you did that!” You insisted.

“I did, I swear, we even have video of it!” Hobi argued.

“What the fuck are you two yelling about?” Yoongi asked, more amused than annoyed by the sudden noise.

“Did he actually go bungee jumping?” You asked, turning your attention to him.

“Why would I lie about that?!” Hobi exclaimed.

“Oh, that,” Yoongi deliberated for a second before smirking over at Hobi. “No, he didn’t.”

“Why are you lying?!” Hobi yelled, making you both burst into laughter. As much as Hoseok loved you and his hyung becoming friends, you were absolute menaces together, constantly teasing him and the members, as well as each other.

“Screw it, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to come with us to get something to eat?” He asked, exasperatedly.

“Sure.” Yoongi answered, still laughing slightly.

“Cool, I’m gonna go find Jimin, I’ll be right back.” He announced, heading back out the door before either of you could say anything else.

Yoongi turned his attention back to the screen in front of him as you settled on the sofa, Hobi apparently having taken your energy with him as he left, as silence suddenly fell over the room.

Yoongi glanced over at you. “You okay?”

“Hmm?” You looked up in confusion. “Yeah, why?”

“I dunno, you just got kinda quiet.” He shrugged.

You let out a small laugh. “I’m okay, I just know that you don’t like a lot of noise, so I usually try to be a little calmer when it’s just us so I won’t bug you.”

“You don’t bug me.” He said.

“No?” You looked at him doubtfully.

“Well, not a significant amount.” He smirked, making you laugh again. “You wanna see what I’m working on?”

“Really?” Your eyes lit up.

“Sure.” He said, pulling a second chair over close to his so you could both see the screen as he hit play.

Yoongi was normally quite private about his music, at least until it was finished, but he loved getting to show you his new projects, talking animatedly as you listened to part of the song, explaining how he mixed and layered the audio files, or what lines he liked best.

“So is this how you get girls?” You said, unable to resist teasing him just a little bit as he spoke.

“No,” He shot you a sly look. “I just like getting to teach you stuff.”

“Oh really?” You grinned, leaning over the arm of your chair. “You know, I don’t know how to kiss either, care to teach me that?”

Yoongi’s eyes widened, looking over at you in surprise.

“I’m just joking Yoongs!” You laughed, trying to quickly dispel any awkwardness. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“Eh, it’s okay, it boosts my ego.” He replied, grinning at you.

“Really?” You asked.

“Yeah, even if I know you’re just playing around.” He said, shooting you a quick wink, missing the way you looked away, falling silent again for a new reason.

While it was true that part of your flirty remarks were just for the sake of teasing him, enjoying the way you could so easily make him flush red, that wasn’t the case for all of them.

In the past few months, your feelings for Yoongi had shifted from those of purely a friend into something more, a fact that you had been trying to subtly bring to Yoongi’s attention, apparently without success.

You hadn’t wanted to just drop the information on him like a bomb, fully aware that he might not reciprocate, and not wanting to jeopardize your friendship, but clearly your current approach was not going to get you any type of answer.

“What if I wasn’t?” You said suddenly.

“What?” He glanced back at you, confused.

“What if I wasn’t kidding? What if I liked you?” You asked, watching him carefully.

He blinked at you. “I-, did, wait what?!”

“I know it’s probably not the best time, but I don’t know if there’ll ever be a ‘best time’ to say this.” You took a breath. “I like you, as more than a friend, and I understand if you don’t feel the same for me, but I just… I just wanted to say it.” You finished, staring down at your hands, afraid to meet his gaze.

He stared at you in complete shock, his mind scrambling to try and make sense of what you’d just said. How long had you felt this way? What did this mean for your friendship?

The seconds ticked by as the silence in the room grew nearly unbearable.

“Please say something.” You urged.

“Y/n, I-,” Yoongi sat back in his chair. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t see you that way.” He said as gently as possible.

You nodded, letting out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. “Yeah, that’s what I figured.”

��I’m so sorry.” He apologized.

“It’s alright, I knew it was a long shot,” You smiled at him. “At least now I know, and we can go on as normal.”

He blinked. “Really?”

“Yeah.” You chuckled slightly at his bemused expression. “I’m a grown woman, Yoongi, I can handle a little rejection. I knew you might not feel the same, but nothing’s changed, you’re still one of my best friends. I just wanted to tell you.”

“Okay.” He said, visibly relaxing.

“Are we still okay?” You asked.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Yeah, we’re good.”

“Cool.” You smiled, quickly changing the subject as the others came back in.

To Yoongi’s surprise, you lived up to your word, continuing on with your friendship as if nothing had ever happened, hanging out with him and other members as usual. Even that same day at lunch, no one else would’ve had an inkling of what had transpired between the two of you from the way you acted, sitting together and talking easily, still making your teasing comments here and there.

Everything was exactly the same, except it wasn’t.

It was miniscule at first, but in the weeks that had followed, it was clear that something had changed. Not you exactly, but something in the way Yoongi saw you changed; the way you laughed at something he said, or the way you smiled at him, but suddenly everything about you seemed to draw him in, leaving him questioning his words to you. Did he see you as more than a friend?

Looking back, he couldn’t deny that he’d always thought you were attractive, but that didn’t necessarily mean he was attracted to you. And maybe sometimes his heart rate picked up a little more than usual due to your flirty remarks, but that was just because you caught him off guard. It didn’t mean anything, right? It wasn’t like he caught himself thinking about you constantly or wondering about how your lips would feel against his-

What the fuck?! He shook himself, quickly glancing over at where you were sitting on his sofa, working peacefully on your laptop.

He felt like he was going crazy, like he was gaslighting himself. Was your confession really all it had taken to make him develop feelings for you? Or had they existed the whole time and he was just too blind to notice? Why couldn’t he have had this fucking revelation three weeks ago when you were sat in front of him? But of course you figured it out first, you were always more forward than he was, that was one of the things he loved about you…

Fuck.

The worst part was that you could tell something was off, but he couldn’t very well tell you what. He would look like a complete asshole if he tried to make a move on you after having rejected you, like he was just fucking around with your feelings.

“Yoongs?” Your voice suddenly snapped him back to the present, realizing he’d been staring off into space.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, turning back to his computer.

You sighed, sitting up and moving your things off to the side.

“Are we gonna talk about this?” You asked.

“About what?” He didn’t look up.

“About how weird you’ve been acting lately.” You said.

He didn’t respond, looking down.

“Look, if this is about what I said-”

“It’s not.” He denied quickly.

“Yoongi, you’ve barely even looked at me today.” He turned around, meeting your eyes as you stared at him.

“Please, just talk to me.” You pleaded.

He sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “I’m a fucking idiot.”

You waited. “Because?”

“Because I screwed up,” He said. “You told me how you felt and I said no, but now I can’t stop thinking about it and, fuck, you must hate me, I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying but I-”

His ramble was abruptly cut off by you striding across the room and crashing your lips to his, making his mind go blank. He leaned up into you, hands finding your hips to steady you as you leaned over his chair, your hands tangling in his hair, savoring the taste of your lip balm on his tongue.

Too soon for his liking, you pulled away, breathing heavily as you met his eyes.

“I definitely don’t hate you,” You breathed. “Though I do have some things to say about your communications skills.” You snickered.

“Of course you do.” He scoffed.

“We can talk about that later though.’ You smiled. “Right now, I'd rather us just cover the basics.”

You leaned in again, noting the way his breath hitched slightly.

“Do you want this?” You asked softly.

He stared up at you with dark eyes, his voice coming out as almost a whisper. “I do.”

You kissed him, pressing him back in his chair as you moved to straddle him, earning a soft grunt from him. Yoongi gripped your waist tightly, not entirely used to having someone take the lead like this, but finding himself falling into the role easily, melting against you as you pressed closer, a shiver passing through him as your tongue slipped into his mouth.

“Hey hyung, I was jus- AGH MY EYES!”

You nearly fell backwards off Yoongi’s lap at Jimin’s scream from behind you, Yoongi’s hands catching you as you both whipped around to see the younger member standing in the doorway, staring at both of you in shock.

“Do you ever fucking knock?!” Yoongi snapped.

“I was-, I-.” Not knowing how to respond, Jimin simply backed out of the room, closing the door loudly behind him, leaving you and Yoongi alone again.

“Maybe we should do this somewhere else.” You said, face flushed in embarrassment.

“Why? Now they know not to come in.” Yoongi grinned, trying to tug you closer again, but you put a hand on his chest.

“Yoongi.” You complained.

“Okay, fine” He relented. “I guess I should buy you dinner first, it’s the gentlemanly thing to do.”

“You suck.” You laughed.

“Hey, you’re the one that likes me, it’s not my fault you have shit taste.” He teased, kissing you again lightly.

“Alright then, Mr. Gentleman, buy me dinner.” You grinned against his lips.

“Yes ma’am.”

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[lunar-wandering]

names

i had a silly hc and had to write a 700 word drabble about it

“Yo, Mac!”

MK froze mid-step, expression dropping in horror.

Macaque tilted his head in confusion, and turned around just in time to see someone around MK’s age throw an arm over MK’s shoulders.

“Hey Mackenzie, how ya doing?”

“Uh, doing… great! Just fine, as always!” MK sneaked a glance at Macaque out of the corner of his eye, seeing the shadow monkey silently mouthing ‘Mackenzie???’ to himself.

Oh. He was so screwed.

“Good, good!” The person patted MK on the shoulder, before removing their arm, waving at him while they started to walk away. “Well, I’m kinda in a rush right now, but we should totally hang out sometime? Gravity arcade maybe? Eh, whatever, I’ll see you around!”

“See ya!” MK held his false cheery expression until the other was out of sight, then let it drop as he turned back to Macaque. “Please don’t tell Monkey King about this.”

“…Uh-huh. Sure. Uh. Who was that?” Macaque’s expression of confusion was slowly starting to turn into an amused smirk.

“Just an old classmate from, like, high-school I think, not sure, I really only hung out with Mei-”

“And why did he call you-”

“Listen.” MK clapped his hands together, held them in front of his face, and took a deep breath in, preparing himself. “Okay. So. Kids are mean, yeah? And my name is pretty long. Um. So when I was asked, y’know, what ‘MK’ stands for. I… kindasortaliedtothem-”

“You what-”

“And people believed it! I thought it’d get found out really quick, but like, even the teachers thought the system had just glitched out and written the wrong name on the attendance sheet! Man, I had people calling me Mackenzie for years-”

“Really fooled me too.” Mei chimed in, fiddling with her phone with a seemingly bored expression on her face.

“Yeah, Mei didn’t know- wait.” MK paused, turning to face her, “When did you get here?”

“About the same time Macaque collapsed to the ground.”

“About the same time Maca- what?” MK quickly turned his head back to stare at Macaque and- sure enough, he was down on the ground, arms wrapped around his chest, shaking with silent laughter. “What- when did he do that?”

“Dunno, he was like that when I got here.” Mei said, putting her phone in her pocket. “Anyways. I still cannot believe you didn’t tell me the truth until my 18th birthday-”

“Hey, I thought that if I treated it like some kind of grand important thing, you wouldn’t be angry at me!”

“Not that it worked. I still pranked the shit out of you once I stopped laughing.”

“I think I’m still finding glitter in my clothes- okay, I can’t stop thinking about it, do you think he’s okay?” MK said, pointing down at Macaque, “Like, is this normal?”

“Oh, yeah-” Wukong said, “He used to do this all the time, his body just kinda gives up on him when he really finds something funny.”

“Okay, so long as it’s- wait.” MK whirled around to point at Wukong, “When did you get here?!”

“Dragon Kid over here texted me that something was going on so I decided to come check it out.” Wukong said, “Soooo. What’s so funny that it’s got Maccie down on the ground anyways?”

“Nothing! I, uh-”

“MK was just telling him about he used to lie to people and tell them his nickname stood for ‘Mackenzie’.” Mei explained before MK could even get the chance to come up with an excuse.

Wukong let out some sort of amused sputter.

“M-Mackenzie? You- you know, you do kinda seem like, like an Mackenzie-” Wukong snorted, and then he was doubling over, slowly collapsing to the ground.

“Ah, both monkeys have fallen.” Mei said solemnly, pulling out her phone and snapping a picture of them as MK sighed.

“Welp, it’s official.” He said, “I’m never living this one down. Why does everyone always find it so funny anyways?”

Mei shrugged, not knowing the answer herself as she started sending the picture of the two monkeys on the ground to Red Son. Movement in the corner of his eye caught MK’s attention, and he turned to see Macaque seemingly forcing himself up again.

“Hey- hey, Kid.” He wheezed, “Just, just out of, y’know, curiosity and for like, comparison. What is?? Your actual name??”

“Oh, uh, it’s-”

[writeforfandoms]

Fast Car 2

Find my Simon Riley masterlist

Two years after the end of the world, you have a choice to make, and potentially a new life to settle into. One thing you definitely now have: a nemesis.

Warnings: Swearing, lots of grumbling, gentle interrogation, don't forget these guys are a trained very effective unit, dick-ish behavior, reference to cannibalism, reference to the wider zombie au.

Word count: 1k

You approached the meeting place carefully, slowly. Sure, you were planning to go with them. But that didn't mean you had to trust them. 

It wasn't terribly hard to spot three people, standing exactly where hat guy said they'd be. You didn't see tall and scary, but that was just fine with you. 

Maybe you'd get lucky and he'd been eaten overnight. 

“Took your time getting here.” 

Spoke too soon. Grimacing, you half-turned to see him emerge from his hiding spot, gun in hand but aimed away from the two of you. Small mercies. 

“I'm on time,” you defended yourself, planting your hands on your hips. It wasn't as effective given the large pack on your back, but still. 

“Means you're late.” He turned and strode off back to the others, clearly expecting you to follow him. You grit your teeth, momentarily tempted to just walk away. You didn't need a town. You were fine on your own. You could do it, keep on going on your own.

Except the empty windows and yawning doorframes of this town reminded you how hard it was to come across supplies. 

So you grit your teeth and followed him, footsteps light. 

You stepped directly in one of his boot prints, out of curiosity. His feet were much larger than yours. 

You walked a little faster. Just in case. 

Hat guy eyed you and nodded once. “We're taking the truck back,” he said. “You're in back.” 

You almost wanted to object to that, mildly outraged, but, well… all four of these guys was pretty big, in the beefy military esque kind of way. They probably needed the space. 

Still. Jerk. 

“So you're the mechanic, eh? I'm Gaz.” He held out a hand to you, and it took you a moment to remember what a handshake was. 

“Call me Soap.” He was next, quick to fall in on your other side so he and Gaz escorted you to the car. “Ye good with cars?”

“Dunno, you good with that thing?” You nodded to the big gun slung over his shoulder. 

He laughed, grinning at you. “Aye,” he confirmed. “Ye'll do just fine. In ye go.” He opened the back seat to the car you'd almost looted yesterday, ushering you in. Gaz slipped around the other side. 

Not only were they making you sit in the back, but in the middle. It had been a solid year since you'd been on a car, but you remembered how awful it was to sit in the middle seat. 

The only big plus was that the big unfriendly guy was in the front. 

“That's Price,” Gaz told you. “And Ghost.” 

So the big mean guy was Ghost. Easier to avoid him when you knew his name. 

“I'd say nice to meet you but I generally don't say that to people who almost dislocate my shoulder,” you snarked. 

“Shouldn't have messed with the car.” Ghost didn't sound the least bit apologetic. Not that you expected him to. 

Big asshole, for sure. 

“Ye traveled a lot?” Soap interrupted, breaking Some of the tension. 

“Eh. As needed.” You shrugged, uncomfortable as your shoulders rubbed his and Gaz's. “More than I really wanted to. Hard to stay in one place with cannibals around.” 

“Cannibals? Really?” Gaz sounded mildly dubious. 

“Really. Not like food is aplenty out there. Lots of canned goods are gone.” 

“We grow a lot,” Gaz said, glancing at you. 

“Not us,” Soap added with a cheeky grin. “Cannae grow shite, us. But the rest of the town, aye. Got a good lot of skills between us all.” 

“But not a mechanic,” Price interjected. 

“Least I'll have job security,” you joked, leaning back in your seat, refusing to show how uncomfortable you really were with the two men pressed close like this. “At least until everything quits working.” 

“We'll find work for ye,” Soap assured you, grinning. “Plenty to go ‘round.” 

That was not as reassuring as he intended it to be, but you didn't say so. That would just be fucking stupid, and you liked to think you weren't fucking stupid. 

“How'd you end up here?” Gaz asked, expression open, hands relaxed in his lap. Oh, he was good. Could've gone into acting, this one. 

Sure, he was acting all nice, but that was absolutely an interrogation question. 

At least he was being nice, and not threatening to break anything. 

So you told him. The short version. How you'd traveled for a bit with people, ran into cannibals, escaped with your life, and had been running from zombies ever since. 

The end of the world had made most people absolutely bonkers.

All in all, it was a pretty gentle questioning. And you couldn't blame them, not if they really were taking you to a whole town full of people. 

Price finally parked the car about mid-afternoon, and you got out gingerly, stiff from sitting still for so long. You stretched out, groaning softly as your shoulders and upper back popped. 

Ghost stood to one side, watching you. You ignored him, even as you noted yet again just how fucking big he was.

Price invited you inside, leading the way to the house. It looked well kept, at least, windows all intact, a pile of wood just visible to one side. You stepped up into the house, not sure what to expect.

The mouth-watering smell of bread and some kind of stew was not it. 

You swallowed back the obscene sound you wanted to make at just the smell of real cooked food, and wandered further in. A woman in the kitchen turned to greet everyone, smile wide and warm. 

You hadn't seen anywhere so homey, so warm, since… Well. Before the zombies, for sure.

It rather astounded you how fast they folded you into the routine, showing you where to wash up, offering spare clothes, assigning you a seat at the table. Truth be told, it left you a little wrong footed, and you kept quiet through dinner. 

So did Ghost. 

Ghost was the one that showed you to the couch, told you you'd be staying there a few days. You didn't object, still too full and happy from a hot meal. 

If they ended up being cannibals… Well, you'd die full. That wouldn't be so terrible.

[angelicpoison12]

Can you maybe do Angel dust x male reader where they like to sing together, fluffy?

AAA IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO PUT OUT but i think it turned out pretty cute :p enjoy!!

wordcount: 374

— ✃☕︎︎ — 

if there was one thing you adored more than life itself, it was music. 

when Angel had discovered that music was your love language, he was quick to fulfill it. whether it was you both showing each other loving song lyrics that reminded you of each other, or even making up cheesy tunes together, it was all in good fun. it was the most loved you had ever felt, in both life and death. 

with the lack of long car rides, and (safe) walks in the park... you couldn’t find a lot of opportunities to listen to your prized tunes. you couldn’t even sing, really. the only times you could sing were in the shower, or when you and Angel hung out, which was rare since he’d often do overtime for Valentino.  

but you finally had some time with Angel. even though it was rather late at night, you were willing to be sleepy in the morning if it meant hanging out with Angel.  “so, how was work?”  you asked. he shrugged and sighed.  “i don’t really wanna talk ‘bout it, toots..”  he admitted. you nodded and put a soft hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture.  “i’m sorry,”  “eh, it ain’t nothing I ain’t used to.. not a big deal. don’t let it worry ya, toots.”  he said assumingly, pecking your forehead lovingly.  

"now, let's listen to some tunes, yeah? i think we both need a distraction right now.”  Angel said. he grabbed his phone, and began scrolling through the shared playlist you had both created.  “whatcha in the mood for?”  “hmm.. i dunno. maybe some 2000’s pop?”  “oh, okay. i don’t know much about these artists, toots. who’s... Katy Perry?” 

your jaw dropped. 

“are you shitting me?! you don’t know who Katy Perry is?”  “baby, i gotta remind you, i died in the 40’s. you think i’d know who that girl is?”  “oh... well, when you say it like that,”  you said with a giggle, shrugging.  

“what song do you recommend by her?”  “well, she’s got a ton that are good. let’s see... California Gurls, Firework, E.T., Wide Awake, Last Friday Night.. oh! Teenage Dream! let’s just listen to the whole album!”  “i like the sound of that, schnookums. turn it up!” 

my sweet snowflake buddies!

@6esiree , @cosmiiwrites , @frxstwalker, @ithofficial, @activesplooger, @dolly-lil-lambie

[rex101111]

Ratchet and Clank size matters got added to the PSN store and I got a a major nostalgia pang so I went "eh, why not" and quickly played through it. And I do mean quickly, I know it was a PSP title but dang, last time I finished a R&C game this quick i played Nexus. Anyway, the thing that struck me about this game is that Ratchet is...a bit of an asshole here. And that struck me as odd because for the last few entries...he isn't.

Like this is still early series Ratchet, still on the PS2/PSP, released just before the first PS3 title, which was in retrospect a bit of an incredibly soft reboot. In the newer games, Ratchet is a fairly straight forward protag, nice, willing to help, only a little bit sarcastic if he's really strapped for time or dealing with someone especially annoying. Early Ratchet? Early Ratchet was a jackass, a dick, a selfish, quick tempered loner that only went on this quest because there was a tangible, direct benefit to him specifically. Seriously, in the first game Ratchet couldn't go two sentences without insulting somebody, and that's when he's in a good mood. In act 2 he's even worse, gnashing his teeth at everyone he talks to and threatening to sell Clank for scrap. It takes hours of in game time and half a dozen levels before Ratchet finally chills out, and a few more levels before he actually resolves to act like any sort of hero, and even that only happens after something he personally cares about gets threatened. Ratchet could give a damn, he can be convinced to help people, but he's still a selfish person who needs the situation rubbed in his nose before he realizes how dire it is. Clank having faith in him, throughout the entire game, even when he's being a dick, even when Clank himself is furious with him, meant something. When in the penultimate level he says "that's the Ratchet I always knew was there" and Ratchet brushes him off, you buy it, that beneath this sharp outside there's someone with the capacity to be a hero, an actual hero, a hero who isn't selfless, but one capable of overcoming his selfishness when it matters most.

Back when the first game came out, people complained about this, about their platformer mascot protag being a huge dick, and even the very next game addressed this by toning him down a smidge, but Ratchet in the PS2 trilogy is still very much not a perfect sunshine person. He's very sarcastic, pretty cynical, is very quick to call other people on their bullshit, and still has a very short temper. (Plasma city, anyone?) Ratchet had texture to him, he bounced off the much more straightforwardly nice Clank in a lot of ways, their friendship felt like it had weight and meant something because these two had so many differences between them that the fact they did get along so well and cared about each other so much showed that their friendship was genuine. I like the newer Ratchet and Clank games, played every one of them, but I've never been really happy with the direction they took with Ratchet. Each game made him nicer, friendlier, smoothing down his edges. And the reboot game had it the worst, they retold the first story, where Ratchet was at his worst and a major thread of the plot was him learning to get over his bullshit, but had the sanded down kitty cat of the later games instead of having confidence in their early work. Dickhead Ratchet worked, he had a place and it gave him a place to grow, while still maintaining his inherit sharpness. Ratchet should get to be an asshole again, just for a bit, let him get angry, properly. Sure, he's a hero who's saved two galaxies three times over and then some, but he did that while being a sarcastic little shit who made a joke about a plumber's ass crack showing and fired rockets at people while complaining about how high the prices are everywhere he went.

I dunno, maybe its a bit too late in the game to say this, but something got lost in the shuffle a while back, and getting a reminder of what was simply put it into perspective for me.

[suicide-with-dazai]

' Waiting for me ' ~ Diluc x reader

context: diluc gets home from working at the tavern all day to find you awake waiting for him <3

tags: ☆ fluff , heavy nsfw , diluc x fem!reader , soft!diluc , cvm eating , fem terms , cute aftercare & soft encouragement ☆

! inspired by Vulpine Voice Diluc audio on yt !

- quick & easy read -

starts under the cut , enjoy . (MINORS RESPECTFULLY DNI) <3

eventually , he reaches his house , hoping to find you sound asleep in his bed .

the air is still and silent as diluc walks home . the streets of mondstadt deserted since nightfall . the sound of his footsteps echo as he takes a shortcut through an alleyway .

he unlocks the door as quiet as possible , and kicks his shoes off . walking into the bedroom he notices youre sat up in his bed , still awake .

" darling , what are you still doing up ? " he rushes over to you and holds your jaw as he kisses you " is everything okay ? "

you put your arms around him and kiss him back , deeply and passionately . the room goes silent for a moment while you kiss , " y-yeah i was just worried "

" worried about what , sweetheart ? " diluc breaks away from the kiss and walks over to the dresser and takes off his work clothes . he takes a tshirt and some underwear out of his dresser and begins getting ready to slide into bed with you .

" i dunno.. i was .. just scared- it got late and i- "

when diluc finishes getting dressed , he walks over to you and puts his finger over your mouth , " shhh~ its alright "

at this , you get all flustered at this sudden affection and stop worrying about him .

" took a lot longer to close the tavern tonight , couple things i had to take care of . dont worry your pretty little head , honey , im okay "

he gets into bed next to you and gestures for you to lie on top of him , to which you gladly obey .

now , he senses that youre more relaxed . you put your head on his chest as he starts stroking your hair .

" you do anything interesting today , my love ? " diluc inquires , cuddling you lovingly .

" not really , did my commissions then that was about it ... visited Wagner a few times to see how my new polearm is coming along . "

" oh ? and hows that going ? "

" its looking pretty good ! its gonna be finished in around 3 days or so ... "

diluc loves hearing about your day , and you love hearing about his too .

" how was your day , love ? " you look up at him and kiss his neck as you ask .

" eh , just the usual . pretty boring actually " he sighs .

you stay silent for a moment then you sit up on him , straddling his body .

" is that so , huh ? " you bite your lip and run your hands along his toned abs .

" is my darling feeling needy , hm ? " he puts his hands on your hips , " i think thats just what i need right now~ "

he speaks in a low and sexy tone , almost purring out his words , in such a seductive manner . his voice never fails to turn you on . the vibrations of his low tone linger in your core for a moment as you surpress a moan .

you smirk and began grinding your clothed cunt on him , feeling his dick get hard inside his boxers .

" ill make you feel good~ promise~ "

diluc lets out a stifled moan as you grind on him , giving him that friction that he needs .

you take your shirt off , revealing your bare tits . diluc reaches his arms up to fondle them , and play with your nipples . you moan at the lewd touches from your needy boyfriend .

you start to grind faster , both of you begging for friction , feeling so riled up in the needy situation you were both in .

" oh my love , my beautiful girl , take your panties off for me~ thats it . niiiice and slow~ " you slide your panties down slowly and teasingly and you look half lidded into his desperate eyes , " fuckk- thats a good girl~ "

you feel his dick getting harder underneath you , so you tug at his waistband . you look into his eyes for consent , to which he nods . you first take off his shirt then get to work on his boxers .

" mhh~ thats it , love . thaats it~ "

when you slide his boxers off , youre met with his pretty dick , so hard and dripping already for you .

he breathes heavily in anticipation as you position yourself over his dick , your cunt already being wet enough for it to slide in .

" slowly , yeah ? " he whines as he tries to keep his composure .

" ill go nice and slow~ " you put his throbbing tip at your entrance and slowly sink onto his dick .

you moan loudly as his length stretches you out , he strokes your thighs to reassure you, " no rush , sweetheart. youre doing so good~ "

when youve fully adjusted , you begin moving up and down slowly . at this , diluc groans as your soaking cunt slides up and down his length .

" f-fuck- mhh- " he whines at this immense pleasure hes feeling , " ah~ keep going love~ "

you start to move a little bit faster now , your cunt and his base slapping together makes such lewd noises , you cant help but moan .

" ah- let me get on top of you " he whines .

he lifts you off of his dick and places you underneath him . hes quick to slide back inside of you .

he starts fucking you faster , as his breathing becomes more and more irregular ,

" a- ah- keep going diluc~ " you squirm under him as he fucks your pretty cunt faster , pushing you both closer to the edge .

" oh love- im close- "

he continues fucking you closer and closer as he too approached his orgasm .

" fuck- y/n- im gonna cum- "

he fucks you until you cum , and lets you ride out your orgam , your chest rising and falling as you scream his name ,

at this , diluc quickly pulls out and cums on your tits , he lets out a low groan and tries to calm himself down .

" such a good girl arent you~ " he sighs in pleasure as he looks at your tits covered in his thick cum .

he leans down to kiss you , while playing with your tits which were dripping with cum , " mmhh~ " you whimper into his mouth as you feel his fingers slip over your nipples so easily with the extra lubrication .

he breathes heavily as he swipes across your chest with his finger , collecting some of his cum and puts it inside your mouth . you willingly suck his finger clean and swallow his cum .

diluc hums out in pleasure as you suck his finger , biting his lip . you sit up and kiss him , making him taste his own cum . this lewd action causes him to roll his eyes back and kiss you harder .

" oh , darling , this is just what i needed~ " diluc continues kissing you and swirling his tongue around in your mouth , " lets get you cleaned up , sweetheart "

he was still breathing heavily when he walked to the bathroom to start the shower .

dilucs aftercare is always so soft and sweet and it makes you weak to know he cares so much~

" we can shower together if youd like ? " diluc stands leaning on the doorframe , the light of the bathroom behind him highlighting his toned figure beautifully .

" mm~ yeah " diluc walks over to you and picks you up in his arms , you lean into his touch and kiss his collarbone . he carries you over to the bathroom , where he puts you down . your legs feel unsteady and weak after diluc had fucked you .

" you okay ? " diluc holds your waist to steady you and stop you from falling . you nod and he helps you get into the shower .

he first gets under the shower , letting it drip down his body . then , he offers you his hand , and you get under the hot water with him . you almost moan as you see all the cum on your body getting washed away .

you decide to pick up the loofah and some soap and begin washing dilucs pretty body .

" mm, thank you love " he smiles as you start washing his body . you stand on your tiptoes to kiss him and he hugs you lovingly .

once you were both all washed up , he wraps a towel around you and dries you off . then you return the favour by drying him .

you always find it so cute how sleepy diluc gets after sex , makes you wanna just hug him so tightly and drift off to sleep with him .

diluc picks you back up and put you in bed next to him , the silky sheets covering your bare body as you cuddle up to him . you stroke his hair as he begins to fall asleep , his head snuggled in your neck .

[lyss-sketchbox]

(To start, I've been enjoying reading your and folks' various perspectives on Natlan, it's interesting to see different breakdowns/thoughts)

I do have a theory on the flippancy though, and I may very well be horribly wrong, but I suspect it's intentional. The whole nation is being taught, more or less, that this war they're fighting is a game. It's fine if you die, we'll bring you back. It's fine if you fight the Abyss, we do it all the time. And yet. We see that folks' Ancient Names can be lost and not recovered, that you can't fully recover from Abyssal corrosion, and that hey, actually, Kachina is a terrified kid when we see that projection of her. It may even be part of why the nation is struggling so much with creating their Contending Fire. I also think Mavuika plays into this narrative.

Primarily, I think (or maybe just hope) her overconfidence is going to be her hubris. Traveller expresses concern about the time she has to gather the warriors and she's non-plussed, "eh, I trust the Wyob". She's got A Plan and it's going to work, according to her. But I dunno about that ma'am. She also says weirdly definitive statements that I don't think are fully accurate like "humans can't know their fate" and "the only thing that unites the Fatui are collecting the gnoses" that lead me to believe she puts full stock in her conclusions as soon as she feels she has an answer and doesn't exactly question any further.

Honestly? It would be nice if they set up this whole thing of the nation being so casual and Traveler buying into it only to tear it, crashing down, around everyone. How long can the nation avoid taking things seriously before everything comes to a head? (Perhaps why Capitano isn't interested in brute-forcing things overall? Or maybe I'm giving him too much credit, lol)

What an interesting take, genuinely

So Mavuika

It would definitely play the part of being a pyro archon and how pyro vision holders are often extremely confident and high spirited. It would make sense if the pyro archon embodies that kind of value.

This also lines up with what the previous anon said about how she wanted to be reincarnated because its HER plan and she wanted to see it through even if it means offing herself early.

(I dont remember the ending dialogue was i did it all at like 4 am so yeah please fight me on my takes)

She also seems very quick to make MASSIVE decisions like using a good chunk of her power to keep the Contending Flame alive right then and there even with the concerns of some people. Then she was just as quick to burn all the mementos gathered for centuries when the group sent to find Kachina didnt make it.

I feel like maybe she couldve waited before keeping the Contending Flame alive. And while the Contending Flame IS more importang than a single girl, based on the time we spent in the Night Kingdom. It doesnt... feel all that long. She couldve waited. Use her power to save us. Rest for a while then fan the Contending Flame. Saving us from the Night Kingdom didnt feel like a permanent loss of power while keeping the Contending Flame alive does.

To be honest, she IS human, WAS human before archonhood. Shes been human TWICE now due to her reincarnation. I can understand humans wanting to prove to higher powers and beings such as fate that they CAN hold power over themselves. But being human, being NATLANIAN means she has worshipped to Wayob as well at some point. Hence putting her faith more into them and their ancient names.

The Plot of Natlan

I will admit here that i am biased and there is only 2 acts so far. For all i know theyre still setting up the chekovs guns and they may pop oh so beautifully in late acts and i am too harsh on the set up acts.

But i can understand if the people of natlan has been trained their entire life to numb themselves of the true horrors of war. Because they live constantly in it, if they are in constant fear, it is not good for morales or the ancient name holders either.

And if they were written to be so chill so that hoyoverse can pull the rug under us even harder then well good on them because i will be COMPLETELY honest.

I cannot see them pulling this without making it cliche or shallow.

Because we all already know SOMETHING is gonna go wrong. The abyss will reach natlan. The contending flame will die. The 6 heroes will reawaken and help Mavuika fight off the abyss for good. We know it will happen. The only issue is how to get there and how to not make it cliche as fuck.

Because for one they pulled the anime training montage for Kachina where we get told she is actually really good, she has been training so hard with Mualani but we literally dont get to see or feel it. But oop she defeated mualani.

They pulled the power of friendship when Mualani talked back to lector in the night kingdom.

They already spoiled how Ororon was the traitor because HE WAS STANDING NEXT TO CAPITANO IN THE TRAILER.

It feels way too messy for me, way too unserious and uncoordinated both in game and advertisement materials. I almost feel like capitano, 1st of the fatui harbinger, probably shouldnt have been responsible for natlan because dude can out espionage them (or maybe natlan and capitano are both as equally uncoordinated who knows).

Well for NOW i think they have a generic base plot. I would be very willing to declare how wrong i was about natlan if act 3-5 managed to fucking mindblow me. But yeah as you can see i am not hopeful that hyv have half the brain you have about the plot.

[joequinnisgod]

When craving warmth

Pairing: Joseph Quinn x f!reader

Warnings: rpf, smut (protected p in v), teasing, i dunno what else..

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: Hiii, it’s been a while………sorry about that :( But here’s a soft!dom!Joe story! I’m also working on other stories, hopefully I’ll be able to finish them soon..

It was late at night when you finally got into bed next to Joseph. Even though you told him not to wait for you, he insisted and tried his best to stay awake, but eventually tiredness got the best of him. He was half asleep when he felt the mattress dip next to him and felt you snuggling up next to him.

He hissed when you rested your cold fingers on his arm, trying to get warmed up as soon as possible.

"Your hands are freezing, love." He murmured as the took your hand in his and intertwined your fingers.

"M'sorry." You whispered and pressed your lips on the warm skin of his back. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I wasn't fully asleep yet."

Still craving warmth, you pressed your feet against his legs, causing him to jump a little.

"Jesus, what the fuck? You just took a shower, how are you so cold?"

"I don't know, I just am."

"...Want me to warm you up?" His voice instantly got deeper and you could sense he was smiling as he took your hand in his and kissed the back of it. You murmured against his back, too tired to even speak. "Hm?"

"I won't move a muscle, though." You repeated.

"So just the usual, eh?" He teased. You slapped his back lightly at his comment, making him giggle.

"Shut up." You smiled.

"C'mon baby, let's get you warm." He turned around to face you. "Hi." He lowered his head with a smile to kiss you. You felt his warm lips softly press against yours, just slowly tasting them first. You laid on your back and let him hover over you, a satisfied hum escaping his throat.

His tongue poked your bottom lip, making you part your lips. The kiss was slow and sensual, neither of you feeling the need to hurry. After such a draining day, the only thing you needed was intimacy and the presence of your favourite person, in spite of the aching tiredness in your body.

He held himself up above you with his lower arm next to your head, his free hand caressing your side. Your hands found his cheeks in the dark – only the outside lights peeked through the window, softly illuminating the room – and your thumbs softly stroke his face, feeling the scratchiness of his beard. As you spread your legs and pulled them up to help him get more comfortable, his fingers started dancing on your skin where your shirt has ridden up a bit around your lower stomach, the ticklish sensation leaving goosebumps behind. Eventually, his lips detached from yours, making you whine, but you soon quieted down when you felt them on the side of your neck, travelling further and further down. Your fingers got lost in his curls on the back of his head as your neediness got the best of you; making your wrap your legs around his hips, locking him right above you.

"Don't, I'm cold." You stopped his hands as they were about to take your shirt off.

"Okay, baby. We'll leave it on." He placed a quick kiss on your lips. "Can I take these off, though?" His fingers traced the outline of your underwear. You nodded first – then realised he could barely see the movement of your head in the darkness.

"Mm-hmm."

He started sliding your panties down your legs slowly, his lips following the path of it. When you felt his hot breath fanning over your clit, you interrupted him again.

"No, just want you in me. Please, I just wanna feel you close." Your tone dripping in desperation.

"Alright, but I'm definitely having you for breakfast, though." He pressed a gentle kiss below your lower stomach.

His lips met your neck once again, going for that sensitive spot, making you whimper in impatience. He supported himself with his forearm sunk into the mattress next to your head as his free hand pushed his sweatpants and boxers down just enough to free himself. He reached beside you, towards the nightstand's top drawer and grabbed a condom from it. Sitting back on his heels he ripped the packaging open with his teeth and rolled the rubber down his length. After stroking himself a few times, he decided to test the waters and tease you a little. The unexpected soft tapping of his cock on your clit made you gasp at first – then you couldn't stop the whimper that desperately tried to escape your lips.

You realised what was about to go down. Your begging and needy whines were sounds that Joe could easily get off on anytime; they boosted his ego to an unreal level. Knowing you were so desperate for his touch and attention made him feel like he was on cloud nine. As his ego got the best of him, dominance started flooding his mind. He started feeling the urge to tease you..just a little.

"Does that feel good, baby?"

"Joe..oh" Another gasp left your lips as he rubbed himself between your lips. "I know..I know what you're..doing...please."

Your tone only fuelled that feeling in him. He wanted to hear and see you become a needy hot mess underneath him.

"What am I doing, darling? I’m not doin' anything." He murmured with his lips right next to your ear.

"You're te-teasing. I can't..take it tonight."

"I think you can. Be a good girl for me, hm?"

Your hands grabbed the sheets as his lips traced the side of your neck, placing there wet kisses. "Think you can do that for me?"

"I, uh...I don't know."

"Let's just see it for ourselves, okay? Tell me if it's too much." He kissed your cheek.

He stopped rubbing himself on your pussy and you felt him slide his tip down to your entrance. He slowly pushed his tip in barely, then pulled it out. Each time he pushed himself in, it was just a tad deeper than before, making you turn into that hot, whining mess he loves so much.

"Is this okay?"

"Mm-hmm."

"See? It's not so hard." His hand came up to your cheek to hold your face, his thumb stroking your warm skin.

When he was finally all the way inside you, he let out a soft moan. His hips started rocking slowly at first, then he picked up the pace a little. He pulled almost all the way out each time, before going back in as deep as he could. He wanted both of you to feel every inch of each other. Your desperate moans sounded almost too pathetic, the way he fucked you so passionately and so good was becoming overwhelming.

"You're doing so good for me, doll. So fucking good." His voice almost failed him from the intensity of your hips colliding and the feeling of intimacy and closeness; your hands on his back now – keeping him close, your nails leaving deep, red marks on his slightly sweaty skin.

"Don't you break character now." You whispered, the built up frustration from the teasing giving you an attitude – also hoping this would fire Joseph up even more. When he realised what you'd said to him, he snapped his hips hard, making you moan loudly and arch your back a tad.

"Wanna repeat that, love? Hm? Don't be so shy now." He waited if you were gonna say anything, but your silence was enough for him. "That's what I thought."

His hips started driving into you faster as his hand found your clit. The force of his thrusts made you ride up on the bed with each one as your strangled moans echoed across the room.

"Shh, it's okay, it’s okay. Let it out, baby." His lips showered your cheek with kisses, shooting you.

"I’m close.." You chocked out, hoping he'll understand.

"You wanna cum, darling?"

"Mm-hmm." You nodded, tears forming in you eyes from the overwhelming intensity. "Please, Joseph."

"Cum for me, baby." He whispered in your ear. A few moments later your back arched as you dug your nails into his back, letting out a loud, sinful moan with a few tears escaping your eyes as you shut them tight. You felt Joe's hips halt for a second balls deep inside you as a heavy moan erupted from him, euphoria flooding his mind as well.

"Oh, fuck! Baby, I love you so much."

He buried his head in the crook of your neck, pressing there hot kisses in-between heavy breaths. Your hands got lost between his curls again as you both laid there in the silent, dimly lit room.

"Are you warm now?" Joe giggled.

"I am." A couple seconds later you slapped his back.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"For the teasing."

"You loved it, don't conceal it." He grinned as he pressed his lips onto yours.

"But..it was mean." You pouted and watched him remove the used condom, tie a knot on it and toss it into the bin next to the nightstand.

"Aw, I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to be mean. I won't do it next time, yeah?" His big brown eyes stared into yours, his eyebrows arched.

"You'll do it next time, too." You squinted.

"Yeah..probably." He whispered as he kissed you and rolled over with his arms wrapped tightly around you.

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it! Have a lovely day / night <3

[neko-loogi]

Heeeyy, I'm back with a new Helluva Boss opinion post thingy

Okay so, the Mammon episode- it was alright I guess? Tbh it didn't strike me as super awesome or anything, it's just kinda there?

Anyway, let's talk about it a little bit!

So I wanted to start off with Mammon himself, I'm gonna be honest I don't hate him but I don't like him either. I'll admit I do actually like his voice, I'm sure y'all might find it annoying but I dunno, I like his accent and the way he talks is kinda funny. His design tho? Eh, it could use some work.

For instance, his eyes are weird, like every time he was on screen my first thought was always: "Wow, he looks like Robin from TTG". I also hate how he's shaped like your typical "fat" character from cartoons. But for some reason they decided to give him skinny arms but a round body. He's weirdly disproportionate, which is disappointing because they definitely could make a better plus sized character design. But oh well, knowing Viv, she wouldn't even try.

I will admit his true demon form is kinda cool, except that I actually thought he was going to be a caterpillar or something but he's a spider? I swear, Viv has some weird design choices.

Moving on, the episode was cluttered as hell. It had way too much stuff in it, which made the episode feel eternal. Not only that but the episode has 4 songs.. FOUR FUCKING SONGS- When will Viv realize that not every HB episode needs a song? Like is this shit an animated series or a fucking musical? Make up your mind Viv-

Anyway, I'm glad this episode focuses on Fizz, but his character did feel a bit off in certain scenes, but aside from that everything else was fine. (I found that scene of Fizz talking to the deaf imp child while using sign language to be very endearing).

Alright, I'mma point out a few other things real quick:

Ozzie's relationship with Fizz is absolutely adorable and I love them so much. However I don't understand why they portray their relationship as a bad thing? Like, fucking Queen Bee is dating Vortex (who's a hellhound, and they are a lower class than imps) and nobody says anything and she's a sin- so why can't Ozzie do the same??

I also happen to noticed that Fizz and Mammon's relationship is similar to Angel Dust and Valentino's- I just hope they don't completely butcher my boy Fizz, because he's the ONLY character I genuinely like from this god awful series.

Edit: I find it outrageous that Fizz apologized to Blitzo in the previous episode for the accident and claims that yes, he was affected by it but he's gotten over it. Yet here, he's super insecure about it and seeks approval from Mammon. It doesn't make sense- I swear it's like the characters are evolving backwards (as in the character development just resets and they act like nothing happened).

I also just wanted to say that this character made me feel super uncomfortable throughout the episode (which I guess is the point, but honestly they didn't need to add him.) Like, was it really necessary to include this Reddit mod, Discord user incel with an obsessive personality to the episode? He doesn't really contribute much other than to probably trigger people who have dealt with some form of harassment like this, and to make Fizz look super helpless so that Blitzo can defend him.

Blitzo didn't contribute anything to the episode, they didn't need to add him either. Like we get it he's the main character but that doesn't mean he has to be in every fucking episode doing absolutely nothing other than saying a bunch of curse words or shooting someone.

In conclusion, I didn't like this episode that much. I was expecting more to be completely honest.

Sorry if this post was a little long- I wanted to write more stuff but I don't want to burden y'all with reading a lot of shit lmao. Anyway, that's all, love ya <3

[vitaetmorsfilo]

this is a list of moments where natsu is smart (but its also me yapping because i was getting bored waiting for every little instance) (episodes from 49 to 64)

- upon their first encounter with oracion seis, smelled them and alerted gray and everyone

- when carla told them that wendy's dragon, grandeeny, suddenly disappeared seven years ago, started connecting dots in his brain

- when fighting those bro-monkey goons, after getting shot at his back, simply incinerated bullets (were they physical? magical? anyways, cool)

- (look how friendly he is with erigor, meeting him after so long, how erigor is unnerved by it and gray is fucking done with him-)

- interrogated beat up goons about whereabouts of oracion seis' lair (sure, with erza-esque tactic "ask-punch-repeat", but at least he thought of it)

- (also, it must be their temporary place, but oracion seis' lair is so pathetic it's hysterical. we have grimoire heart with their cool-looking flying ship with mechanical heart, we have tartarus with their highly functional flying cube, and these have, like, a cave? where all your guild goon taxes went to? racer's motorcycles?)

- when natsu, wendy and cats reached fallen erza, he was quick to ask for help and point out that no matter what she may have done with jellal, erza really needed her help (well, not really smarts thing, but natsu's quick actions allowed wendy to finally pull herself together)

- when nirvana has activated its magic and sent a black light beam, natsu either sensed or figured that jellal was there were beam of nirvana is

- (okay, nirvana thingamagick has my respect for having nothing to do with zeref and co. but what was the point of its first stage, where people who are usually on one side of morals and are on the gray side for this moment, get their side of morals switched? sherry, who was grief stricken switched to attacking gray, wendy was nearing the switch with her guilt over jellal situation, but hibiki knocked her out, and hoteye was reminded of his time with his brother when fighting jura and he switched from being money-obsessed to being pacifist. very mixed bag of results if you ask me. hibiki later explained that the switching is controllable in final phase, but in the first one? is it more like a side effect of first stage for activating nirvana? prolly-)

- (lucy happy and carla saying that in case of switching natsu won't change much, and that he exists outside of framework of good and evil, they did NOT pull the punches, my favourite freak of the monster nature)

- (respect from me to angel, she summoned gemini for a prolonged period of time, and as far as i know they are rather magic-consuming, AND she was using her spirits cleverly, countering aquarius with scorpio and loki with aries)

- (also, gemini is such underappreciated spirit for how lucy moved their heart, damn)

- (and, like, uranometria is cool, but how did lucy even have enough magic power for it, if she was feeling weak after summoning in quick succession? eh, i'm nitpicking, but there is little else for me to do-)

- ("actually, i didn't die😒" sorano😭😭😭😭)

- (can you imagine a what-if "what if when wendy was travelling with mystogan, that anima that forced him to leave wendy never happened?" i mean, they look so much like siblings already, gosh-)

- (can you imagine being a kind hearted and optimistic kid in a god awful situation, and then getting brainwashed and manipulated into doing even more despicable thing, and later being freed from brainwashing and realising all the sins you've committed? god, take all the cramps from jellal and give them to, i dunno, brain)

- btw, when fighting cobra, was it natsu and happy's first on-screen airborne fight? mad respect for them and their team work!!!

- when fighting cobra, when he declared that he was going to stop nirvana, and cobra replied that he was not letting natsu near brain, natsu put two and two together and figured that it was brain who controlled nirvana

- when fighting cobra, he was rather fast in switching between tactics, first he just punched, second he tried rapid firing long ranged attacks, third he was hiding in ruins in ambush attack, then he fucking joked at cobra mentally and actually got him to laugh, happy even thought of faking their attacks. even cobra admitted that natsu was thinking a lot and that he had some not bad plans

- when fighting cobra, managed to get so into fight he was fighting without thinking, getting a couple of hits on cobra. that impressed cobra, leaving him to question whenever natsu is actually a genius or a total idiot, for he is seeing someone like that for the first time. hearing that cobra was a dragon slayer was what threw him out of that state

- got into cobra's close quarters, almost getting him to face a roar close up

- (they really only won because of natsu accidentally letting out an extra loud non-magical roar AND brain back-stabbing cobra)

- natsu, exhausted, poisoned, and motion sick, chomping into brain-

[janetbrown711]

If I Fail You

Zhu Li Na is four months old when the cracks in the universe return, so it looks like it's time for baby's first Collect-A-Thon to Save the Universe! Surely nothing will go wrong!!! (Season 5 Rewrite adding in freenoodles fan kid Zhu Li Na + diving deeper into the mentality/mental health of certain characters)

Chapter 1: Watching Him Fade Away

Pigsy notices his son is starting to crack, but it's hard caring for a monkey-demi-god-kinda-regular-god and a four-month-old. But nevertheless, Pigsy tries.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Ao3 Link

Doodles !!!

MK was a very, very good big brother. 

He was over at Pigsy and Tang’s as frequently as Sandy, always helping out and playing and cuddling and changing and cleaning and taking care of the little piglet as much as possible whenever he wasn’t training with Monkey King. 

Pigsy hadn’t minded the extra help at first. It was nice to have his son and daughter bond and who was he to refuse an extra pair of hands when he was this tired all the time? Plus, Tang had to go to work, and so the help was certainly needed at times. 

But something was… off with his son. Of course, something had been off for months now, but whatever it was it was clearly getting far worse as he was gaining circles under his eyes so dark they were supposed to be reserved for new parents. He was also adamantly in denial of the whole thing, as any time Pigsy tried talking to him about sleep or stress, he jumped right up and suddenly remembered a task he had procrastinated and dashed off. 

A part of Pigsy worried MK had been lying about accepting all this change– that he didn’t like his room being taken, or that he even didn’t like Li Na. Another part of him told him that was ridiculous, as MK seemed genuinely happy to help her whenever he could. Another, deeper part of him wondered if MK had been like this for months, but Pigsy just hadn’t noticed, too busy dealing with the pregnancy and NICU. A more optimistic part said maybe the couch wasn’t as comfortable to sleep on as it used to be, and he should encourage the kid to go back to sleeping at his place. 

But that could easily make him feel worse, right? Pigsy worked to make sure MK knew he still had a place in his home, he didn't want the kid to think he suddenly flipped a switch on him. He needed to know he could still rely on Pigsy, even if he was a lot busier these days. 

It didn't help that no matter what progress Pigsy felt he made, it felt like he was back at level zero every time MK returned from training. 

He needed to think up a plan, and quick– or else risk MK losing his mind. 

Of course, it was hard to plan with a four-month-old in constant need of attention, but you know. 

“If the problem is a lack of sleep, bringing MK back to his own place and away from a screaming baby would certainly be for the best,” Sandy suggested, finishing buttoning up Li Na's onesie after a change. 

“Yeah, I know, I know– but I don't want ‘im thinking I'm shoving him out, you know? I want ‘im to know he can always come to me for help,” Pigsy sighed, folding some of her laundry. 

“Have a little faith in the kid; he knows you love him, he's said so himself.” Sandy picked Li Na up, though she cooed and reached away to Pigsy. 

“I–... I dunno… he's real sleep deprived– you know how thoughts can get,” Pigsy scratched his neck. 

“Then remind him,” Sandy gave a soft smile. “Tell him you're concerned and be honest about why.” 

Pigsy looked away. “Eh… me and honesty don't really get along well, what with sayin’ I wasn't the kid's dad to his face and all for twenty years…”

“Are you sure that was honesty and not insecurity?” Sandy raised an eyebrow as Li Na began to whine. 

Pigsy sighed, taking his daughter back in his arms. She immediately cooed happily, which made the elder pig demon chuckle a little. “I guess you might be right… but still, I just– I'm not good at this. Not really.” 

“I don't know, Li Na seems to think you're doing just fine.” Sandy winked, making Pigsy roll his eyes and blush slightly. 

His friend laughed. “Just trust your instincts, Pigsy. You've always been good when you listen to your heart.” 

Pigsy snorted, but didn't have a good rebuttal. Especially because Li Na did seem plenty happy, reaching for the buttons on Pigsy's shirt with glee. 

The thought occurred to Pigsy that maybe Sandy ought to be the one to talk to MK since he was so good at it. Before he could suggest it though, there was a massive woosh throughout the apartment announcing MK's arrival from training.

“You want me to head out for some groceries?” Sandy offered, but Pigsy shook his head. 

“I think it'll be good if just the two– er, three– of us head out for a bit,” Pigsy suggested. 

“That sounds like a wonderful idea, Pigsy.” Sandy smiled at him all bright and corny, which made him roll his eyes again as he exited the nursery. 

Not to his surprise, Pigsy found MK in the kitchen wiping down the countertops with extreme vigor, acting like each little crumb and blotch was the Lady Bone Demon and needed to be wiped off this plane of existence asap. It might have been funny if it weren't for the stress and exhaustion weighing in his eyes. 

“Hey, kid. You– uh… feeling okay?” Pigsy asked. 

“Pigsy–! Hi! How're you doing?” MK shot up from the counter with a forced grin. 

“I asked you first.” Pigsy raised an eyebrow, shifting Li Na to an upright position so her head was against his shoulder. 

“O-oh! Right! Yeah, I'm all good man! Never felt better!” His son gave an even bigger smile and thumbs up for emphasis. 

Pigsy frowned. “Kid, when was the last time you slept?” 

“Bah, sleep is for the weak.” MK tried to wave off. “How's Li Na? When's the last time she slept?” 

Pigsy gave an unamused look. “Kid, I know what you're trying to do and it ain't gonna work.”

“What? Being helpful? I'm hurt.” MK put his hand over his chest dramatically, before scrubbing the counters again. 

Pigsy rolled his eyes. “Li Na is fine, MK. It's you I'm worried about.”

“I told you, I'm fine! Never felt better!” His son insisted, tossing out the cleaning wipe. 

Pigsy growled in frustration, causing the piglet in his arms to whine, sensing his distress. 

“Oh–! Hey, I can take her if she's not feeling okay! Or I can get her formula started or her diaper changed or–”

“MK, she doesn't need any of that–” Pigsy took a breath to try and calm himself while rubbing Li Na's back. “Just tell me what's wrong… please.”

MK's smile faltered. “A-are you sure you don't need anything? I can clean up around here or wash the van o-or even cook dinner, if you need.” 

Pigsy sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, before remembering his idea from earlier. “You know what? Let's go check on the restaurant. See how it's holding up.”

That worked to snap MK out of his spiral, as he froze and tilted his head. “Really? Why? You're not gonna open it for another four months.” 

Pigsy shrugged. “Fresh air'll do us good. Plus, I wanna make a proper meal on a proper stove, and I think my old cookbook is still over there.” 

“Oh– Okay! I can get the ca–” 

“I'll get the carrier and bag. You can take Li Na,” Pigsy decided instead. 

MK seemed confused again, but accepted the now smiling infant into his arms. “Hey kiddo, you having fun?” he asked, scrunching his nose. “We're gonna go to the restaurant soon. That's where you were born! It's also my favorite place on earth, so it'll be super fun.” 

Pigsy chuckled, shaking his head before going back into the nursery to get the same well-loved carrier he had used years and years and years before with MK. 

“So..? How's it going so far?” Sandy asked, startling the pig who had forgotten he was there. 

“We're gonna go for a walk, get some fresh air… though if you wanna take over, be my guest,” Pigsy half-joked. 

Sandy gave him a pitiful smile. “You got this, Pigsy. Just open up a little bit and you'll be golden.” 

The chef rolled his eyes. “Yeah, just text Tang where we are so he doesn't think we're being kidnapped or somethin’.” He snorted before  finding the diaper bag and throwing a few things in.

He had to dig a bit through the closet before he found his old baby carrier, with a well-worn scrapbook sitting right underneath. 

The chef couldn't help but smile a little as he picked it up and started flipping through. At the time he'd thought it was corny, that he wasn't MK's dad so there wasn't a point. However, his grandmother (and eventually Tang) insisted it was just to preserve good memories, and Pigsy couldn't have been more grateful. 

His heart ached with happiness and joy as he saw old photos of MK's chubby face, with fistfuls of noodles and a face covered in sauce. It had been a long, long time since he'd seen that face, so full of joy and nativity. No past, no future, just in the present focused on gorging himself on noodles. 

“Found something?” Sandy asked, peeking over Pigsy's shoulder. 

“Just an old scrapbook,” Pigsy chuckled before shutting it carefully. 

“Oh? I thought you weren't the ‘nostalgic type’.” Sandy grinned cheekily, quoting Pigsy from twenty five years ago. 

“Yeah, yeah, shut up,” Pigsy huffed and stood up, pausing when he realized he was still holding the book in his hands. 

…He wasn't exactly sure why, but he slipped it into the diaper bag too. 

“Text me if you end up needing anything,” Sandy said, not commenting on Pigsy's impulse decision. 

“Yeah, yeah. Get some sleep while you can,” Pigsy gave his friend a short crooked smile. 

Sandy laughed. “I sleep plenty fine on my boat, Pigsy.”

“With all those cats? Sure.” The chef retorted. “I should be back in an hour or so.”

“I'll hold the fort down. Have fun.” Sandy gave a salute, making Pigsy huff in amusement before heading back out to the living room, where MK was bouncing Li Na in a mix of exhaustion and worry. 

“C'mon, Li Na, it's okay, h-he'll be back soon, it's okay, you're okay, you're– Pigsy! She started whining and I-I think I'm messing it up, she won't–”

“Hey, hey, it's okay, kid, it's okay.” Pigsy immediately set the carrier and diaper bag on the couch, rushing to his son's side and placing a hand on his back. “You're okay, kid, just relax.”

“No, she wants you, she doesn't want me, I-I'm all messed up– take her back, please.” MK's resolve was starting to crack. 

“Hey, MK, it's okay, you're okay, just take a breath for me, alright?” Pigsy placed a calm and firm hand on his chest, taking a slow breath MK eventually copied. 

“Th-thanks, Pigsy.” MK sniffled, trying to bounce the still squirming piglet. 

Pigsy's chest ached with worry for both of them, but he shook it off for a moment. “I'm gonna get the carrier on, and then we'll go for a walk, alright?” 

“Yeah, that’s good.” MK nodded, small tears forming in his eyes.

Pigsy bit his cheek, but knew the best thing would be to just move on for now. And so, he quickly got the baby carrier on, putting it into front-inward carry mode, and placed Li Na inside, who relaxed as soon as her chest was against his. 

MK just stood there, watching at first before looking at the ground with his hands in his hoodie. His eyes were shining with tears, and his head was slowly sinking further and further down. 

It was something MK did a lot as a kid, especially on days he wanted nothing more than to just disappear. It made Pigsy want to cry, but the chef toughed it out. 

“C'mon, let's get some air.” He gave a mostly-not-forced smile and patted his son's shoulder. 

The boy nodded, clearly swallowing his tears before he suddenly moved, picking up the diaper bag and opening the door. 

“Dads-ies first.” MK cracked a mostly-forced smile that made Pigsy's heart twinge. 

“Thanks, kiddo.” He patted his arm again, and the three of them headed out into the night. 

The chef instantly felt more relaxed the second the late evening air hit his face, but he could tell it made MK more than a little anxious. Pigsy nudged the kid before taking a deep breath, implying for him to do the same. MK did, his shoulders loosening a little, but his eyes stayed glued to the ground. 

“You know– it’s– uh… it’s hard to believe it’s been four months, you know? Since she was born,” Pigsy tried lightening the mood. 

“Y-yeah! Man, time does fly, doesn’t it?” MK gave a weak laugh, one hand briefly leaving his pocket to scratch his neck before going right back. 

“Oh yeah. Sometimes I can hardly believe you’re in your twenties and not still goin’ to school,” Pigsy snorted. 

MK laughed a little less at that. “Yeah, it’s… yeah.” 

Pigsy winced as they stopped at a crosswalk. “It’s… hard to imagine one day Li Na’ll be in her twenties, all grown up and probably helping you fight whatever monster’s attacking the city that week.” 

“I thought you don’t want her fighting?” MK raised a somewhat playful eyebrow. 

“MK, I’m still not jazzed about you fighting,” Pigsy chuckled. “But… if that’s how it’s gonna be, that’s how it’s gonna be.” 

MK looked forward. “Right. Because ‘destiny’ and all that.” 

“What? No–ugh, I’m putting a household ban on that word.” Pigsy shook his head. “I mean because– I– you know– with the whole–” 

“Light’s green,” MK interrupted and immediately started walking again. 

Pigsy sighed, making Li Na shift so the chef put a hand on her tiny head. “I’ve got my work cut out for me tonight, don’t I kiddo?” he asked in a low voice, to which Li Na just cooed tiredly. The chef chuckled and gave her a soft pat before walking again. 

Just listen to your heart, Pigsy, just like Sandy said to. Sure, you’ve screwed this up before just about a million times, but Sandy is usually right about these things anyways so– just– try. For MK. 

“So– um… you feeling hungry at all?” Pigsy ventured, deciding to steer clear of the d-word. 

“Eh, not really.” MK half shrugged. 

Pigsy eyed MK for a moment, looking him up and down and checking for his usual hunger ticks. “Let me rephrase that; when was the last time you ate?” 

“Pigsy, I’m okay, really, I just–” MK tried to lie, but seemed to remember he’d already been caught earlier. “Training was just hard today.” 

Pigsy’s brows knit together. “What do you mean?” 

“No! Not like that, I don’t mean it like that– I just– you know–! The more powerful I-I get the more he works me, which is good! Monkey King isn’t bad, it’s all just– it’s fine, I’m fine, let’s just go back home.” MK almost turned around, but Pigsy grabbed his arm. 

“Kid, I know I’ve been… a little hard on him in the past, but I know he’s helpin’ you in ways I can’t, so it’s okay,” The chef gave a weak smile. It seemed to help the kid genuinely relax a bit, making the chef’s smile grow. “Besides, he did help save your sister’s life, so I know he ain’t all ‘irresponsibility’.” 

MK let out a genuine laugh. “Of course him saving your life doesn’t count for anything.” 

Pigsy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, he’s saved me too, I guess, whatever.” 

“And he’s saved mine,” MK pointed out with a smug grin. 

“Eh, I’d say at this point the score of ‘saved your life’ versus ‘actively put it in danger’ is about even,” Pigsy pushed back playfully, and his son let out another laugh. 

“Yeah, whatever,” The kid shook his head with a chuckle, and all that laughter made Li Na let out laughs of her own. 

“Well, look who’s deciding to join all the fun,” Pigsy teased her a little. “What do you think? You like that Monkey King guy?” 

Li Na laughed again, making her brother grin. “You know, I think that counts as a ‘yes’.” 

“Bah, she’s four months old, what does she know?” Pigsy waved off. 

“Nah, I think she’s got it just right.” MK winked and booped her snout, making her scrunch up her nose and smile big, which MK copied, just as they came to another crosswalk that was thankfully green, and then it was “restaurant, sweet restaurant”. 

“Look, Li Na! It’s the best restaurant in all of China,” MK grinned as he fished out the keys from the bag, meanwhile, Pigsy soaked in the quiet warm feeling of seeing his third biggest pride and joy in person again after four months away. Of course, it also brought back memories of the absolute pain and terror he felt when last there, but there was also plenty of joy and love, so Pigsy was doing just fine. 

As was MK, evidently, as he lifted the security shield and flicked the lights on with delight before zipping to punch in the alarm code at a pace physically impossible for the old chef. Instead, Pigsy took his time letting all the memories soak in (though was certainly thankful all of the… “mess” had been cleaned shortly after going to the hospital). 

“Ahhh, it’s good to be back Pigsy.” MK came out from the back with a grin. “So, what’re we going to make? We gonna go for the longest noodle record again? Ooo– wait! What about the thickest noodle?! You haven’t done that yet, have you?” MK’s more manic energy came out yet again. 

“Woah kiddo, let’s settle down a bit first, alright?” Pigsy said lightheartedly. 

“Ahhh, c’mon! It’s why we came here! Revisit some memories, get cooking, and have a totally cool and awesome time for Li Na’s first visit– er… I guess first ‘return’ to the restaurant since she was born here.” MK tapped his chin. 

“Right, yeah, that’s true, but– I mean– there’s also– you know–” Pigsy hesitated again, cursing himself for stumbling over his words again. 

MK tilted his head. “You feeling okay, Pigsy?” 

“Are you?” Pigsy immediately snarked back, though immediately wished he hadn’t (the cursing in his head growing louder). 

MK’s eyes glanced around the restaurant as he slowly made his way to the bar and sat on a stool before picking at the grout. “I-I mean– I’m okay, if that’s what you’re asking. I-I just–...” 

Pigsy blinked, surprised his screw-up wasn’t backfiring. Scared he’d find a way to ruin it though, he quietly and carefully approached the bar, giving MK an analytic up and down. 

MK glanced his way, noticing the look and shrinking down. “I… I can’t sleep. Every time I do, I-I just– I-I–” The kid suddenly froze, eyes glazed over with a distant look of shame and terror before he desperately tried shaking it away. 

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay– stay with me, kiddo,” Pigsy tried his best to soothe, placing a free hand on MK’s shoulder and squeezing it tight. He could feel MK wanting to resist, but Pigsy held on tight, and eventually his son leaned into his shoulder. 

“I-I’m so tired, Dad. I just wanna sleep, but– I-I have to keep working– I have to keep training, I have to.” MK sniffled. 

“MK, it’s okay to take breaks sometimes,” Pigsy urged, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and giving them a squeeze. 

MK shook his head. “E-even if I didn’t need to, I still can’t– it just doesn’t stop…” 

Pigsy nodded slowly, not entirely surprised he was finally displaying symptoms of PTSD, or whatever Sandy called it– dammit, it really should be Sandy instead of him– why did Pigsy think he could do this on his own? Always so stupid–

No. If MK needed help getting to sleep, Pigsy knew how to get him to sleep– just use the same trick from when he was a kid. And who knows? Maybe with some luck, Pigsy could get a meaningful lesson in there too. 

He could do this. He just needed to listen to his gut. 

“I’m sorry sleep’s skipping out on you, kid,” the chef started, giving him another squeeze. “But since we’re all up and here, why don’t we give Li Na her first cooking lesson?” 

A light sparked in MK’s eyes. “Really? You want me to help?” 

“‘Course I do. You’ve run this place on your own a few times already, and she needs to know all the tips and tricks.” Pigsy winked, going behind the bar. “Although the dish we’re making tonight ain’t on the menu.” 

“Huh? Why?” MK tilted his head and followed. 

Pigsy shrugged. “Consider it a ‘double lesson’.” 

“Ooo! Like a noodle master and his proteges,” MK grinned again.

“Sure,” Pigsy snorted, finding his old cook book and flipping to the particular Lanzhou Beef Noodle Soup recipe he had in mind. 

���You sure Li Na’s gonna be able to stay awake for the whole lesson though? She’s already looking so sleepy to me,” MK cooed over the somewhat droopy-looking infant. 

Pigsy chuckled, patting her head again. “She’ll be just fine; us Zhu’s can practically cook in our sleep.” 

“I made instant ramen once in my sleep, does that count?” MK joked. 

As much as Pigsy hated that garbage, he nodded sagely. “No doubt about it.” 

That seemed to strike MK, as his joking smile twisted in surprise, before he shook himself out of it. 

“R-right– well, um– I’ll get started on the dough,” MK forced a more casual smile before zipping off to the back again. 

Pigsy bit his cheek, looking down at Li Na and silently wondering if that all was a good sign or not. The infant just blinked and smiled back tiredly. 

“You know, you’re a lot like your brother when he was a kid,” Pigsy smiled tiredly and kissed her forehead. She cooed a tired response before nuzzling her face into Pigsy's chest. 

Shortly after she did, MK came out from the back with all the stuff needed to make the noodles piled high in his arms. He managed to set it down just fine though; probably due to the kid’s super strength. 

“Alright, I’ll get started on the dough if you get started on the chicken and beef?” Pigsy proposed. 

“On it.” MK grinned, and Pigsy hummed happily as the two of them got to work. 

Pigsy immediately started talking Li Na through the process of making noodles, despite her immediately falling asleep at the likely familiar sounds of sizzling meat and boiling pots. MK of course chimed in whenever he could, whether with a joke or with how he liked to do it versus how Pigsy did it. A part of Pigsy wondered if the kid knew his sister was asleep, but even if he didn’t, Pigsy wouldn’t dare say a word. After all, he was having fun, and that plus the sleep he’d get tonight would make him start feeling better in no time. Not completely fixed, of course, but better. And MK needed better. 

It was dark out by the time they were wrapping everything up, and while MK was babbling about this one customer he had to serve, Li Na was starting to stir once again. Pigsy immediately started to sway as he stirred to try and keep her wake-up calm so MK wouldn’t worry, but babies are babies and soon enough a cry broke out. 

“Seriously! A whole avocado! Who doe– Li Na–!” MK dropped everything to run to his dad’s side. “Is she okay? What’s wrong?” 

“She’s okay, she’s okay, she just woke up from her little bed time nap, didn’t you?” Pigsy tried assuring the both of them, but Li Na must’ve been tired of the carrier as she started wriggling in frustration. 

“Okay, okay, I hear you kiddo, just hold on a sec, okay?” Pigsy told her before looking at MK. “How’s about you do the finishing touches and I get her settled, alright?” 

“O-Okay, yeah, I-I can manage.” MK chewed his cheek but tried to smile. 

“Everything’s under control. Don't worry, MK.” Pigsy placed a hand on his arm again and gave it a squeeze. 

“Right, yeah. On it, boss.” MK nodded to himself and went to the pot, giving Pigsy enough confidence to make his way to the bar where he finally freed his agitated piglet from her prison. 

“There you go, it's okay, you're okay,” Pigsy shushed, carefully holding her in one arm and setting the carrier down with the other. 

Li Na still continued to fuss though, threatening to wail as she kicked and failed her arms. Pigsy bit his cheek, trying to rock her but she kept trying to push him away. 

“Kid, it's okay, I'm just trying to help you, just let me help you,” Pigsy pleaded with her, trying to bring her back to his chest but that only made her angrier as the wailing began. 

Pigsy winced, trying to rock her instead, but that wasn't working either. She just kept crying and crying and crying, her face turning bright red and scrunched up. He tried digging through the diaper bag for something to help, but with how much squirming she was doing it was hard to be efficient with one arm. 

“C'mon, it's okay, you're okay,” the chef whispered, desperate to not stress MK out even more than he already was. 

God, this was such a mess. Sandy would've had it all figured out by now– he could read Li Na like a book, and he could help MK actually talk about his feelings. All Pigsy could do was bury his own feelings deep down and hope his kids didn't do the same. No wonder MK was like this, Pigsy was an exhausted mess too– he couldn't help anyone like this– he–

“Here, I got her formula for you.” MK suddenly appeared in front of Pigsy with a bottle in hand, startling the chef who needed a moment to comprehend. 

“I– uh– thank you,” Pigsy took it with hesitation, unsure if it would work. However, the second the bottle reached the infant's lips she started chugging away. 

Pigsy cursed himself internally for not even considering that could be the issue. 

“Thanks, kid. How'd you know?” Pigsy asked tiredly. 

MK shrugged. “She had that kinda clicky sound when she cried, and she only does that when she's hungry. I think it's because her tongue is in position for the bottle or something, I dunno.”

“Oh, yeah, I– uh– I guess she does,” Pigsy looked at her, shame weighing heavy in his chest. 

“A-anyways– um– soups on,” MK gave a big nervous smile.

“Right, yeah. Back to our cooking lesson,” Pigsy forced a weak one back. 

Taking a breath to ground himself, Pigsy got up and started making his way back to the counter. “You see, Li Na, the thing about good food is when you make it just right– the flavor, the feelin’– it all just comes rushing back to you,” Pigsy couldn't help but smile a little, thinking back to the last time he held MK in his arms in this very kitchen. If you do it just right, Li Na, it's more than ‘just food’, you know what I'm saying?” Pigsy looked at MK too. 

“Right! Yeah, Li Na, follow the recipe and it'll all be good,” MK patted his sister's head. 

“Oh– well– no, I, um–” Pigsy glanced at the noodle dish, when he realized MK– if he was following the directions to a tee as he claimed– missed an ingredient, and did a taste test to confirm. 

“Hmm… it's missin’ somethin’.... but what?” He teased his son a little, and panic quickly entered his eyes. 

“Wh-what?! But I followed the recipe perfectly, right?” MK went to flip through the cookbook before Pigsy rolled his eyes and let him have his own taste. 

Thankfully, that snapped MK out of fight-or-flight as he tasted it for a second before it must've clicked in his mind. He instantly stood upright and reached for the soy sauce. 

“Ahhh,” Pigsy winked encouragingly. “See kid, it's not always about following the recipe like it's written; sometimes you gotta feel it.” The chef smiled softly at the piglet as MK got bowls down and poured servings for the two of them. “And when you do, it becomes more than just food: it's home.”

“Oughhhh, it's so good,” MK laughed, tiredly picking the bowl up like he was talking to it. “Wish Li Na could try some, man, it's delicious.”

Pigsy chuckled, noticing Li Na was done with her bottle and quickly moved to start burping her, towel already on his shoulder. “Can't say I'm surprised. When I found– er– when you–... when you were a kid, this was your favorite.” He smiled tiredly at the memory, thinking back to the scrapbook. “I don't know when you stopped likin’ it so much, but–... but it always helped you sleep, so I figured–” 

A soft thud of MK resting his head against the bar, next to his bowl, made the chef chuckle. “Still works.” 

MK mumbled something in his sleep, and Pigsy rubbed a hand across his back until a small smile crept on his son's face. 

“Now for the hard part.” He cringed, thinking how he'd now have to carry both of his kids up the stairs to MK's room. 

Welp. He had no one but himself to blame, so may as well get to it. 

Pigsy worked quickly and efficiently, making sure Li Na was 100% satisfied and ready to go back in the carrier before he set it to “backpack mode” and placed her in. After that, he mentally prepared himself for how much his back was going to hurt in the morning, before scooping up his sleeping son and throwing him over his shoulder, trying his best to make sure no part of him was hitting Li Na. 

Immediately, Pigsy knew this was a stupid idea and that he should just text Sandy or Tang to come over to help. Instead, Pigsy stubbornly trudged up the stairs and into MK's apartment before all but dropping him onto the bed, before he too practically collapsed and sat. 

“You know… that… was a lot easier when you were little, kiddo.” Pigsy snorted. 

MK didn't respond in the slightest, those noodles really knocking the living daylights out of him. It was good to finally see him relax and hopefully, with time, the dark circles around his eyes could disappear. 

“Sorry I had to kinda trick you into sleeping, kiddo, but it's for your own good. You need to take care of yourself before you try and take care of me and your sister,” Pigsy chuckled a little as he heard Li Na coo behind him. 

“Oh yeah, your brother's a real hard worker, missy. He needs his rest so we can't be staying long,” he told the infant, though wasn't really motivated to move. 

He watched as MK's chest slowly raised and fell, over and over and over again in a rhythm that finally made Pigsy's own tense shoulders relax. He chuckled to himself as he instinctively reached and brushed his son's hair out of his eyes.

“I don't know how I ended up with you, but… I'm so glad I did,” he whispered. “I love you, son. Get some rest.”

Pigsy sat there for a while, softly stroking his son’s face and humming a lullaby out of habit. It seemed to help his son relax even more, a smile creeping on his resting face, making Pigsy feel like his heart could burst with pride and love. However, the chef knew he couldn’t stay forever, and so after finishing the song, he stood and turned off MK’s lights and left him to do as he was told.

Once outside, he let out a heavy, exhausted breath before going back to the restaurant where he took off the carrier and rearranged it to be front-facing once more. 

“You have fun with your cooking lesson, kiddo?” Pigsy asked, adjusting the straps. 

Li Na had no response, of course. Instead, she just watched her dad with big, curious eyes as he started gathering up all the baby supplies. 

“Glad you liked it cuz there's plenty more where that came from,” he teased and slung the bag over his shoulder before he looked at all the bowls and food still out. 

“Looks like we're coming back tomorrow anyways because I do not have the energy to clean all this up.” He snorted, which Li Na tried to copy. 

Pigsy chuckled. “Nice one, kid. Now let's get you home.” 

Li Na again attempted to snort, which Pigsy took as tired acceptance, so the two of them left the restaurant and headed homeward. 

.o0o. 

Despite Li Na waking up every two to three hours for food and changing, Pigsy actually felt somewhat at peace knowing his son was finally getting some rest. On top of that, Sandy was finally taking a day off as well, working on a “personal project” since it was Saturday. Tang didn't have work too, meaning he was home and relaxing as well. The only one not relaxing was Li Na, but she was still getting the hang of the “existing” thing, so it was fine. Besides, she was getting good at sleeping (much better than the previous three months), so he was relieved and proud nonetheless. 

“You know, call me crazy, but I feel like we're actually starting to get the hang of this whole ‘baby parenting’ thing,” Tang joked, lifting Li Na in the air while he sat on the couch, making her squeal in delight. 

“Compared to how we handled MK? Definitely,” Pigsy agreed as he repacked the diaper bag so they could go back and clean the restaurant.

“Oh, c'mon hon, that's not fair– he snuck up on us,” Tang pointed out, putting Li Naback down. 

“Literally,” the chef snarked. 

Tang rolled his eyes. “I don't know, I don't think we were terrible or anything– he's still alive, isn't he?” 

“By a miracle.” Pigsy shook his head. “I still remember the beach incident.”

“Hey! That wasn't my fault! And in my defense, he's probably literally made of stone! And it's not like he was drowning or anything, I just–” The scholar got all red and flustered, making his daughter giggle. “You mock my pain, Li-Li.”

“Clever girl,” Pigsy smirked as his husband shot a dirty look. 

“Well, if she's going to be like that then she doesn't get any more upies.” Tang stuck his nose up and Li Na's face fell. 

“Tang…” Pigsy cautioned, noticing her face already beginning to twist and redden for a cry. 

Tang looked back and noticed too, before immediately correcting his error and lifting her back into the air. “It's a good thing I'm not though, because you're such a cutie! Yes you are! Yes you are!” he said, lowering to kiss her cheek before raising her again and again. 

Pigsy smirked and shook his head. “You're such a sap.”

“You are too! Yes he is, yes he is!” Tang fought back without stopping his little game. 

The chef rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I'm all packed, we good to go now?” 

“You know, I don't understand the purpose of taking MK all the way to the restaurant when you could've just made him food here,” Tang quipped, standing up and cradling his daughter, who was slightly less upset than before that their game had ended (though she did reach up at him with excited arms). 

“It was for the lesson! Plus, kid needed to sleep in his own bed so he wouldn't be woken up by Li Na for once,” Pigsy pointed out, getting the carrier ready for Tang. 

“You just wanted to check up on the place again, didn't you?” Tang raised a playful eyebrow. 

“And if I did?” Pigsy dared his husband to question him as he handed the carrier off

Tang chuckled, kissing Pigsy's cheek as they swapped Li Na. “Big sap.” 

“Oy,” Pigsy rolled his eyes yet again, bouncing Li Na a little as he did. “Can't a man have some peace in his own home?” 

“I think even you should know by now the answer to that is ‘no’,” Tang snarked, clicking all the buckles. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's just get a move on.” Pigsy placed her in the carrier with her chest against Tang's, and this time Tang kissed him on the lips. 

“Maybe you can whip me up a bowl of noodles while we're there too, hm?” he teased, his fingers tracing up Pigsy's shoulders flirtatiously. 

“Freeloader,” Pigsy scoffed. 

“My darling husband.” Tang batted his eyelashes. 

“Yeah, yeah, let's try and get going before sundown,” Pigsy stopped the banter before they got too carried away, and so the couple (+ baby) headed downtown. 

Of course, the walk wasn’t long since it was just the three blocks, but “somehow” Tang’s ankles were already hurting, so he “rested” by the bar and played with Li Na while Pigsy started cleaning on his own. 

“You know, I’m kinda surprised you’ve been handling the whole ‘stay at home dad’ thing so well so far– I really thought by now you’d be itching to just open this place again– or at least be writhing with envy at the fact that Golden Hog’s open right now,” Tang pointed out, eyeing the window of the rival restaurant across the street. 

“It’s nice to know you have confidence in me,” Pigsy huffed, scrubbing off some sauce from a bowl. 

“Oh, come on– I’m allowed to make comments based on years of observation and learning now, aren’t I? Besides, it’s a compliment. You’re doing well,” Tang gave a small smile. 

Pigsy just hummed a little, continuing his work. 

“Then again, when you get to spend almost all day every day with this lil’ cutie, I can see why,” Tang scrunched his nose and took Li Na out of the carrier to cradle and bounce her. 

“Yep, she’s my favorite little freeloader,” the chef teased, setting the dish on the drying rack. 

Tang gasped in offense. “I’m wounded, Pigsy. You’ve wounded me.” 

“Take it up with the baby, I’m sure she’d love to hear why you’re better than her.” Pigsy waved off, grabbing some more pots and spoons to clean. 

“...Am I at least your favorite big freeloader?” Tang asked cautiously. 

Pigsy laughed. “You’re ridiculous.” 

“Wow. You did it. You wounded me again,” Tang sighed dramatically, which made Li Na laugh and reach at his scarf with excitement. “How can you live with yourself?” 

“Knowing that this is payback for all of the many, many noodles I've cooked over the years,” Pigsy gave his husband a wink. 

Tang stuttered to think of a comeback, but didn't manage to get one out before there was a loud squealing of tires outside and someone burst through the bamboo flap. 

“Heyo my favorite-set-of-dads and niece-y! How's it hanging?” Mei grinned wide as she took off her motorcycle helmet. 

“Mei! It's so good to see you,” Tang practically jumped to hug her with one arm. 

“Yeah! What're you guys even doing here though? Aren't you staying closed for another two months?” Mei looked to the chef. 

“I'm cleaning up from an impromptu late night meal I made last night for MK,” Pigsy explained casually. 

“Oh, sick! He doing okay?” she asked, pulling up a stool next to where Tang sat again. 

Pigsy's shoulders tensed a little before he shrugged. “He's resting now.” 

“Oh, that's good. I noticed him being wayyyy more active on my late-night streams than he normally does. That's good.” Her eyes wandered back to the little four-month-old. “Omg–! Is this Li Na's first outing? That's so cool! I gotta take a photo!” 

Pigsy paused. “Ah– well– actually she was with me last night–” 

“Shushhushhushhushshhhh–  I'm taking photos.” Mei grinned, taking out her phone and snapping picture after picture of Li Na looking at her with her head tilted in confusion and curiosity. 

Pigsy couldn't help but laugh and shake his head, putting the last few dishes on the drying rack before taking out one of his bigger pots and boiling water yet again. 

Mei perked up. “Ooo, you cooking for Li Na too? That's so cute!” 

“Nah, this is just to satisfy the freeloader, since Li Na's too young,” Pigsy sighed dramatically. 

“Ah, right, can't make her sick in the tum-tum, got it.” Mei nodded wisely. “Though– uh– can that be for two freeloaders?” she asked, batting her eyelashes. 

“You people are gonna be the death of me.” Pigsy shook his head as if he wasn't already planning to. 

“Teehee,” Mei giggled, making Li Na giggle too. “Ough, she's just too cute! How do you people get anything done around her?!” Mei booped her snout. 

“Lots of practice,” Tang laughed, offering to let Mei hold her, which she immediately accepted. 

“Well, call me untrained because all I wanna do is play with this cutie patootie, yes I do, yes I do,” Mei grinned wide as she tickled Li Na with one hand, filling the restaurant with piglet squeals. 

Pigsy couldn't help but smile as the restaurant came to life with cooking, chatter, and laughter as Tang and Mei caught up while keeping the piglet entertained. He could actually relax when it was like this, when he knew exactly where all his loved ones were and that they were safe and happy. He loved feeling like he could provide for them– that he could watch over and protect them. It was something of a scarce feeling these days, so Pigsy would soak it up while he could. 

Pigsy was about half way through cooking a massive pot of zha jiang noodle soup, when there was a massive truck that parked just outside. At first, Pigsy worried that the delivery company forgot the restaurant was closed, but one glance outside revealed it was just Sandy with his new pet project. 

“OMG! Sandy! And Mo!!!!! Hi Mo!!!!!” Mei ran out the door and waved, piglet still in arm and squinting and squirming at the sudden sunlight. 

“Mei, don't run off with her,” Pigsy cautioned, not taking his eyes off of the bamboo he was slicing. 

Thankfully, she heeded the warning, as Sandy came to them instead of vice versa. 

“Wow! Nice surprise seeing you all here.” Sandy smiled big, Mo perched on his shoulder. “What's the occasion?” 

“Clean up turned late lunch hangout,” Pigsy explained, adding the vegetables to the pot. 

“And here I thought maybe you'd actually take a day to relax,” Sandy teased. 

Mei laughed, sitting back down on her stool. “This is Piggy we're talking about– he wouldn't know relaxation if it hit him in the head.”

Pigsy scoffed, but let the insults come. He didn't feel like explaining the nuances of his hobby, and was perfectly content knowing they were having a good time trying to roast him anyway– or at least Mei was. Sandy and Tang moreso just laughed along. As for Li Na, she reached and grasped at Mei's jacket while oinking here and there before she started to grow tired. 

By the time soup was up, Pigsy recognized she was on the verge of getting cranky, and so ordered Tang to take her before serving up everyone's meals. 

“Wow, Pigsy, are you psychic or something? How'd you know to make enough for Sandy too?” Mei asked before eating a spoonful. 

Pigsy shrugged. “I always make more than enough because I know a certain freeloader is gonna ask for more.” He shot Tang a dramatic look, to which his husband grinned. “Besides, I wanted to make enough for MK too in case he heard all the noise and decided to come down.”

“Oh yeah, he must be real conked out right now, huh?” Mei spat out bits of sauce. 

“Must be.” Pigsy shrugged and handed her a napkin. “I should probably check on him soon.”

“Ah, MK's fine, Pigsy. He's just a very sleep-deprived adult. If he's resting, I say let him,” Tang waved off. 

“Yeah, yeah, you're right, I'm just being paranoid,” Pigsy let out a tired sigh. “I think I'm in need of some sleep too.”

Sandy smiled at him pitifully. “I can help out at night too, you know.” 

“Bah, you got your trucks and boats to work on,” Pigsy waved off and Mei immediately snickered. 

“That's our Pigsy, ladies and gentlemen,” She clapped with a shit-eating grin. 

“I can and will charge you for that bowl, Miss Dragon Heiress.” Pigsy squinted at her. 

Mei squinted right back but said nothing, eating more. 

Pigsy ate in smug satisfaction. 

The “late lunch” ended up lasting hours, the gang all laughing and talking and taking care of Li Na and feeling normal together. Pigsy hadn't realized just how isolated and disconnected he felt being locked up in his apartment all day every day, but now that he was here it was like a breath of fresh air. If Pigsy could find a way to capture the moment in a bottle for him to access whenever, he would. 

However, the longer it went on, the more… off Pigsy felt. Despite Sandy and Tang's assurances, he couldn't help but worry why MK hadn't wandered his way down yet. It was true MK had slept an entire 24 hours before, but something deep in Pigsy's gut told him something wasn't right. He tried to ignore it, especially whenever Li Na needed him, but it continued to nag at the back of his mind even as the conversation went outside to Sandy's new truck. 

“OMG!!! It looks just like Mo! That's so cute, Sandy!” Mei admired the headlights and grill. 

“My little guy does so much for me, it's the least I can do for him,” Sandy smiled softly, giving the cat a nice scratch on the chin. 

Pigsy thought it was corny, but knew not to say anything. Instead, he kept on wiping down the counter near the outdoor bar, where Tang was eating his third bowl and wearing Li Na in the carrier. 

“Omg-!! Is that a little kitty cat-patterned car seat?! That's so cute! We gotta get Li Na in it!” Mei beamed excitedly into the vehicle's windows. 

Pigsy looked at the time. “Maybe later kiddo, we gotta start wrapping up soon.” 

“Awww, I don't wanna go home. Home is lame and I want more delicious noodlessss,” Mei whined. 

“I have some leftovers if you want em,” Pigsy offered, and Mei immediately grinned. 

“Man, Dadsy, you're the best,” She gave an enthusiastic thumbs up. He responded with his own tired one that made Tang chuckle. 

“You sure Li Na's our first daughter?” Tang smirked. 

“Yeah, shut up.” Pigsy scrubbed harder to avoid the stupid look on his stupid husband's stupid face. 

“You know, I got a feeling that this baby is built to last.” Sandy patted his handy work, andthat sense of unease in Pigsy went into complete overdrive right before a sword fell from the sky and right onto Sandy's truck before three louder crashes destroyed the carrier. 

As if almost triggering a heart attack from the sheer volume and damage alone weren't enough, Pigsy could make out the familiar groans of pain from MK, making his heart sink into his stomach. 

“MK?! What– are you okay?! What just happened?! Pigsy exclaimed, rushing out of the restaurant. 

“Aha– we have to go.” MK hopped up just fine, though had a look of extreme panic on his face. 

“Does that have anything to do with the fact that the ominous cracks are back in the sky?” Tang questioned, pointing up. 

Oh god…

“It's okay! We got a plan!” Sun Wukong smiled and patted MK's back like it was no big deal (as per usual). 

“Oh, do we, huh? We don’t even know if these magical pillar healing stones are real,” Macaque bit back, filling Pigsy with rage towards the Monkey King for the millionth time, especially when he realized all the noise had woken Li Na from her nap and she was starting to wail. Tang was handling it, of course, but it still was enough to make the elder pig demon growl. 

“W-what if going after the stones is just another tricky plan by tricky plan demon– like this is exactly what they want? Wh–... what if we really just are chaos..?” MK paced with anxiety, and Pigsy wanted nothing more than to put a hand on his shoulder and tell him that whatever he was talking about, it was okay and they'd be fine. 

However, Wukong beat him to it. “Listen bud, the only thing I know for sure is I don't trust anyone who isn't standing right here, right now.” He looked around the street, making Pigsy feel slightly bad for getting so angry at him.

Slightly. 

“If those stones are important,” Wukong continued, “then the safest place for them to be is with us.” 

“Uh… what?” Pigsy finally got the chance to ask just as a bunch of sigils appeared in the sky. 

“It feels like we're still missing something important here,” Tang pointed out, looking at the sky while he tried patting Li Na's back to soothe her. 

“Oh– Yeah! We're– uh– sorta on the run from the celestial realm,” MK confessed, scratching his neck. 

“I'm sorry– what?!” Pigsy exclaimed. 

“I-I can explain, but we really gotta get going,” MK urged. 

“What?! But what about Li Na? She's only four months old!” Tang added, the parents sharing a worried look. 

“Yeah, well too bad, she's an accomplice now, so let’s get a move on,” MK urged, and terror settled in its usual spot in Pigsy's stomach. Just then, celestial soldiers teleported down all around them in pillars of light, armed and ready for battle. 

“Yep–! Go now, people! Now, now!” MK laughed nervously, grabbing Mei's arm as he looked for an exit. 

“Yeah, you probably shouldn't have messed up Sandy's fancy-schmancy new truck,” Mei pointed to the wreckage, which MK seemed to just now notice. 

“Oh-! A truck! Yes, I can make one,” MK quickly decided, twirling his staff around before he hit the ground. It caused a blast that thankfully pushed away the celestial armies while also making the remains of the truck turn into a proper and overcomplicated getaway vehicle. 

“Okay-! Everybody in!” MK called, looking around as the soldiers readied to fight again. 

Pigsy froze momentarily, unsure of who to help or how, when Tang grabbed his arm and started dragging him to the truck, his other hand covering Li Na's head. 

Right– yes, Li Na was here– Li Na was in danger– MK could handle himself, but Li Na was just a baby– he'd be okay, MK would be okay, Li Na would not, not if he froze– not if he–

“Pigsy, come on,” Tang urged at the open door and Pigsy snapped out of his spiral to quickly shuffle inside, taking Li Na out of the carrier and into the car seat MK had thankfully thought to include just as Wukong let out a painful cry somehow louder than Li Na's. 

“What on earth is going on around here?” Pigsy muttered, digging through the diaper bag for Li Na's blanket while Tang tried patting her chest to keep her calm. 

“If the sky cracks are back, it can't be anything good.” Sandy gave his friend a somewhat grim look through the rear-view mirror. 

“Great, okay, good, just great.” Tang’s eyes started twitching. “And here I thought maybe everything was okay for once and that we were having a good time but nope! No peace in this family, no siree, we’re monster magnets and we’re never going to know peace a day in our lives until we die and–” His rant was interrupted by Wukong and MK suddenly falling into the truck from a shadow portal.

The second they were in, Sandy shifted the vehicle into gear and floored it on out of there, MK sticking his head out of the window to look back at whatever fight was still happening with Macaque. 

“H-He’ll make it out of there, right?” He looked at Wukong, whose eyes were distant with shock. “He always gets away… right?” 

The king didn’t seem capable of answering. 

“I’m sure he’ll be okay, kid. Macaque’s a tough one,” Pigsy tried to comfort, though was distracted by Li Na still wailing. 

“R-right, yeah, he’ll–...” MK again glanced at his mentor, before just falling back into his seat and hanging his head back. 

The kid somehow looked even more exhausted than before. 

Pigsy finally found the quilt Sandy made for Li Na and gave it to her, stroking her cheek gently twice to maximize her comfort. After a bit of that, she was able to stop her shrieking, which was only a slight relief to all other passengers as now the car had a tense atmosphere of uncertainty and pain no one knew how to address. 

Pigsy wasn’t surprised when Tang suddenly held his hand, and he gave it the strongest squeeze he could before reaching and placing a hand on MK’s shoulder, squeezing it too. 

“We’ll figure this out, kid, I promise.” Pigsy forced a weak, but hopefully encouraging smile. 

MK sniffled and put a hand over Pigsy’s. “God, I hope so.” 

“Hey now, there’s nothin’ we can’t figure out as a team, alright? We got this,” the chef insisted, trying to sway both MK and himself as he did. 

“Right… right, yeah, we got this… together?” MK smiled. 

Pigsy nodded. “Together.” 

[sfblah]

The Cleanup Crew - Chapter 5

[Previous Chapter]

Wanted to try a slightly spoopy chapter for spoopy month. I feel like this came out pretty ridiculous, but that's kinda the whole point of it all lol. Hopefully it still makes some modicum of sense.

Female sneezes - Various causes

cw: Guns, Violence

Operation "Slinky"

To be perfectly honest, Bucket had hoped beyond hope that the cafe being under repair would mean some time off from work. And for a while it did. But, just as she was enjoying another day of sleeping in and not doing much of anything, she found herself with new orders and a reason to set an alarm.

The van pulls into the parking lot behind Club Liminal. Kerchief and Duster set about unloading supplies from the back, Mop surveys the area, and Bucket stands off to the side, meticulously trying to work the tips of her thumb and forefinger into her left nostril. Almost got it…

“Please, Miss Bucket,” Kerchief says in a half whisper. “A maid mustn’t pick her nose in public.”

“Oh, uh, I wasn’t,” Bucket replies, still not giving up. “I’ve got a really long nose hair or something and it’s bugging me.”

“Ugh, hate it when that happens,” interjects Duster, giving her own nose a quick rub in sympathy.

“You’re both vile,” Mop mutters in passing.

Kerchief closes her eyes and sighs.

“At least wait until we’re inside. Then you can find your way to the restroom and take care of it privately.”

Bucket makes one last attempt to pluck out the offending hair, after which she finally relents. She lets out a little moan of defeat, then gives her big, squishy nose a big, squishy rub. Still tickles. Not wanting to look like she hasn’t helped at all, she grabs a single ammo can out of the van and places it with the others.

What in the world does some random nightclub need this many bullets for? As far as Bucket is aware, they’re just there to provide security for some kind of event. Although, after a week or so on the job, she’s seen firsthand plenty of times that nothing ever goes according to plan. Kerchief and Duster head inside with an armful of supplies each, at which point Bucket resumes trying to get at that pesky nose hair. She then freezes in place when she notices Mop staring at her, or at least so she assumes. Still not entirely sure if Mop even has eyes.

“Relax, Bucket. I’m not gonna tell on you.”

Too embarrassed to continue, Bucket returns to rubbing her nose again instead. She takes a deep sniff and scrunches up her face, satisfaction still out of reach. Her eyes briefly flit to the club’s staff entrance.

“What’s taking them so long?” Bucket wonders aloud, fingers still pressed up against the underside of her nose. Mop also glances at the door, and she shrugs with a little “eh.”

“I dunno. I usually leave the business stuff to Kerchief,” she says, folding her arms and cocking her hips. Bucket is a bit taken aback. Most of the time she’s the one least willing to take the initiative. Kerchief and Duster haven’t even been gone for all that long, but something just feels… Off. With another sniff and a shake of her head, Bucket gives a hard rub back and forth under her nose before heading toward the building.

“Well, uh, I’m gonna go find the little maid’s room. I’ll let you know if I run into the others.”

Mop stiffly raises a hand and flaps her fingers up and down in what could perhaps charitably be described as a wave. Not sure how to respond, Bucket presses on and nudges her way through the door. The hallway is dimly illuminated by a single flickering light. Chipped black paint covers the walls, and the carpet is made up of inscrutable patterns in a displeasing mix of purple and brown. Every surface looks like the floor of an arcade. Bucket continues after a quick shake of her head, soon arriving at another set of doors.

A piece of paper is taped to one of the doors, though Bucket mostly ignores it. It’s covered in too much text to simply say “do not enter,” and besides, there’s nowhere else to go. Bucket grips the handle and gives it a downward turn, and suddenly the floor beneath her is gone. The door handle slips through her fingers, and she gives a piercing “EEE-YAAAAHHH!!!” as she tumbles down a previously unseen staircase into the darkness below.

Bucket lands hard on her back, beating a cloud of dust from the stale carpet. She sits up, briefly stares at the new, even darker corridor she finds herself in, and - “ah-ahh-CHOOO!” - she sneezes. The maid takes a moment to rub back and forth under her nose before rising to her feet.

This godforsaken tunnel doesn’t even have the courtesy to give her a flickering light on the ceiling. The only illumination comes from a series of dim purple tube lights on the floor, themselves providing barely enough light to indicate that this hallway does in fact have walls. Beyond that, nothing. Just dust and echoes.

“ah-CHOO!!”

Bucket sneezes again as she tries to get her bearings. She turns around, and the staircase she fell down seems to have disappeared. The floor lights simply end at a solid wall blocking the way. It’s too dark for Bucket to even tell if there is a ceiling, but she can’t see any trace of the crappy lightbulb from the hallway above.

“Uh. Hello?”

The maid’s mumbled greeting goes unanswered.

“Kerchief? Duster?”

Silence.

“Anybody!?”

Her hair stands on end when she finally hears a response. A distant… Growl? And footsteps, muffled somewhat by the matted carpet, but slowly drawing closer. Bucket rolls her eyes once she’s had a moment to process.

“Okay, ha ha, funny joke. I’m so scared. Come on, guys.”

The footsteps quicken. Whoever is there still doesn’t speak, and the hallway is too dark for Bucket to see more than a few feet ahead. The invisible figure continues to accelerate, and it emits another growl. But this time, it’s more of an inhuman gurgle, and much closer than the sound of its footfalls would suggest. Bucket’s eyes go wide and her throat makes a terrified squeak. She draws her pistol with all the haste she can muster and fires three shots into the darkness.

Once the echo of the gunshots fades, the hall is silent once again. No more footsteps, no groans of pain, no thud of a body hitting the ground, nothing. Bucket lowers her weapon, then she shivers reflexively and gives a nonsequitur “ah-CHOOO!” She’s hardly had the chance to recover from her sneeze before she whirls around, runs to the end of the hallway, and pounds her fist on the wall.

“Mop! Mop get me out of here!” she pleads, voice cracking. “Duster!? Kerchief!? Open the wall! Put the stairs back! Something!”

A soreness in her hand eventually urges her to stop and she slumps forward against the concrete. Another much farther off growl jolts her upright and she spins about, her back to the wall.

“D-don’t mess with me! I’m… I… ah… ah-ahh-CHOO!!”

Bucket doubles over with yet another dusty sneeze. Without continuing her nebulous threat, she reaches behind her back and retrieves her rifle from under her skirt. Extend the stock, slap in a magazine, pull back the charging handle. The maid brings her weapon up to her shoulder, flicks the selector to full auto, and points it down the corridor.

“Okay, now would be a really good time to bust through the wall! Or something!”

No one comes to save her, nor does anything come to attack. Bucket loses track of time as she stands at the ready, and she has no idea how long has passed when she finally relaxes. She lets her weapon fall to her hip, and after a second she sighs and glances down at it.

“Looks like it’s you and me, Honey Badger.”

Bucket continues to stare at the rifle for a second too long, as if actually expecting some sort of reply. She lifts her gaze and peers out at the nothingness.

“I’m going fuckin’ crazy!”

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, the maid presses forward. With her adrenaline dying down, she starts feeling that prickly nose hair again. Bucket takes one hand off her weapon and begins frantically rubbing her nose, squinting and scrunching up her face.

“Oh my god…” she grumbles to herself, mashing her nose upward with her palm. Her nostrils flare out and then suck in as she sniffs as hard as she can. Then, her foot again fails to meet the floor. Too startled to even scream properly, Bucket emits a high-pitched squeak as she rolls down yet another staircase that she would swear wasn’t there before.

Just like the first time, Bucket lands in a cloud of dust, sits up, and - “a-CHOOOO!!” - sneezes. She checks her weapon and herself, but aside from being increasingly annoyed, she seems fine.

This hallway is aesthetically the same as the last, as far as she can tell. Still the same grubby carpet, and the same purple floor lights. But, this time there is again a lightbulb hanging from the ceiling, revealing a single section of the passage. Bucket jogs up to the light, and she notices the wall on one side is adorned with a floor to ceiling mirror. With her priorities in perfect order, she breathes a sigh of relief and leans toward the reflective surface.

“Jeez, finally,” Bucket mumbles, letting her rifle hang by its sling and bringing a finger to her face to lift the soft tip of her nose. Even among the plethora of hairs that line her big, stretched-out nostrils, she’s able to rapidly identify the one that’s been bothering her.

“Alright, c’mere you little bastard…”

She pinches the hair between her fingernails and gives it a sharp tug. First try. Bucket wrinkles her nose slightly at the twinge, and she scrunches up even tighter as she looks down at the long, scraggly hair. She flicks it away into the darkness, but before she can get back on track…

“ah… aahhh… aaaah-CHOOO!!!!”

It was as if removing that nose hair unleashed a sneeze that had been building all day. Bucket doubles over so far that her forehead smacks against the mirror. She screams and stumbles back, at which point she screams again as she bumps into something, and then she screams a third time when she opens her eyes and sees the reflection of a figure over her shoulder. Her hands fly to her weapon and she unloads a frantic burst of gunfire into the mirror. The glass splinters, but she notices Mop’s curtained visage around the cracks.

“Hey, Bucket.”

“Mop, you scared me!” Bucket sobs as she turns to face her colleague. She slumps forward, letting her sore forehead fall onto Mop’s shoulder.

“Don’t lean on me.”

Bucket immediately straightens.

“So, uh… What the heck is this place?” she asks, giving a long, slow rub back and forth under her nose. Damn that feels good. She almost forgets to listen when Mop answers.

“It would seem Club Liminal has some kind of haunted funhouse basement.”

Bucket gives Mop a half-lidded stare.

“Cool, so you have no idea either.”

“Nope. All I know is it’s disgusting and I’d like to leave.”

“Same. Just, uh. How do we go about doing that?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t build this place. Why do you keep asking me?”

“Okay, okay! I just don’t know what to do. Um. How did you get down here?”

“Stairs.”

“Oh my god, same. Stairs keep just appearing under me, I fell down like three floors to get here.”

“No, I mean… I just walked down.”

Bucket’s jaw clenches. Her eye twitches, and then she turns to face the direction she’d been going before stopping at the mirror.

“Alright. Well then. Let’s just see if we can find aaAAA-!”

The maid takes a single step and immediately begins tumbling all over again. She lands face down in another cloud of dust, and a moment later Mop calmly descends the stairs beside her. Bucket silently lays in a heap for a second before rolling over and staring up at the obscured ceiling, at least until…

“ah-ahh-ahhh…! ahh-CHOOO!!”

“Bless you,” says Mop as Bucket sneezes herself upright.

“I hate stairs.”

Bucket slowly pushes herself back to her feet. The moment she settles, bright lights all around switch on with an explosive popping sound, revealing not another cramped hallway, but some kind of massive stadium-like chamber. A tiered pyramid structure rises above up ahead, and Bucket can just see what appears to be a pedestal at the top.

“ch! hih-ch! ah-ch!”

A trio of tiny, rapid sneezes startle Bucket half to death. She turns her head to find Mop gently nudging a knuckle up under the tip of her nose.

“Gesundheit,” Bucket squeaks. Mop squares her shoulders and gives no response of any kind. Before either of them can suggest approaching the pyramid, confetti bursts from every inch of the ceiling and rains down around them as multicolored lights begin to strobe in time with decades-old and extremely bass-heavy party music. Bucket shields her eyes with one hand, but Mop launches into another fit of minuscule sneezes.

“he-ch! ha-ch! hh’ch! hih-ch! ah-ch!”

“Jeez, Mop. You okay?” Bucket inquires, but Mop shows no sign of stopping. Then, a distinct rumbling draws Bucket’s concern elsewhere. She looks over her shoulder and sees the wall behind them slowly rising, and the same growling she’d heard on the first floor of this hellscape begins to filter in alongside the music.

“Uh, Mop? Mop, we need to go,” stammers Bucket, her voice fully drowned out by the cacophony. She grabs her companion by the arm and begins to pull her forward, but their pace is worryingly slow. Bucket glances back again, and a chill runs up her spine at the sight of what she can only assume are dozens of… Zombies? What else could they be but zombies? Pouring out of the open passageway and charging straight for them.

“Mop! Holy shit!” Bucket screams. She shoves Mop past her, then she turns, raises her rifle, and opens fire. Some of the zombies fall, a few even tripping those behind them, but there are simply too many. Bucket flicks the empty magazine out of her weapon, slides a new one in, and slaps the bolt release before spraying down another layer of runners, then she looks to see if Mop has made any progress.

Hardly.

Mop has managed to stagger maybe five paces toward the pyramid as she continues to sneeze herself silly. With too many foes to defeat and not enough time for any sort of plan, Bucket grabs Mop by the arm again, wraps it around her shoulders, and hefts her up as best she can. With the horde drawing ever nearer, Bucket charges at the structure in the center of the stadium, legs and lungs burning.

“I! Hate! Stairs!” she screams, heaving Mop onto the platform at the top of the pyramid. Bucket drags herself up to the podium, which sports a large, red button at its center. Pondering what it might do is a luxury she can’t enjoy, and she presses it immediately. Nothing happens. Bucket emits a feral shriek and begins to pound the button with her fist over and over and over.

Just when she’s about to give up and start shooting the damn thing, a deafening THUNK shakes the entire chamber. Bucket falls to the floor, and then she keeps falling. Again. The platform at the summit disappeared, dumping her and Mop onto a long, twisting slide. At least it isn’t another bumpy staircase this time. The maids crash through a door at the end of the slope, landing not on another decrepit carpet, but a hard tile floor.

Bucket leaps to her feet, and… And…

Kerchief and Duster stare at her in stunned silence. Bucket staggers forward, breathing heavily and loosely gripping her rifle with one hand.

“Kerchief, Duster, holy shit. I’m glad we found you. The… There’s zombies… And Mop is…”

Bucket points at her partner, who continues to lay face down on the floor as though she were dead. When she looks back to Kerchief and Duster, she finally notices that they’re sitting at a high bar table, each enjoying a strawberry daiquiri.

“Zombies?” Duster inquires, straw in her mouth. Bucket takes another look around the room. It looks like a perfectly normal nightclub, and a fairly posh one at that. Smooth black surfaces and chrome trim everywhere, with no sign of the nasty arcade decor anywhere to be seen. Bucket’s eye twitches again when she spies the street outside through the tinted window behind the bar.

“But we… How did we… Stairs. We fell down like five floors. Down. All down. Only down. How are we…”

Kerchief suddenly holds up a finger.

“Oh, you two must have ended up in The Gauntlet.”

“The what?”

“Did you read the note?”

Bucket blinks, her panting breaths only just starting to slow.

“The note on the door. It said ‘Please use the right side door for club entry. Left side door leads to The Gauntlet, under renovation.’”

Duster sets her daiquiri on the table after another sip. Bucket immediately snatches it up and chugs it in its entirety.

“Oh shit, brain freeze, ow.”

She stumbles back the way she came, stepping over Mop’s body to reach the door they’d just fallen through. Bucket tears it open, not much caring if she unleashes a torrent of the undead, but she finds nothing more than a mundane bathroom. A remarkably clean one at that. She closes the door and opens it again. Still just a bathroom. Letting go of the handle, Bucket steps aside to the corner and slumps face-first against the wall.

“Alright Mop, you wanna tell us what happened?” asks Duster. The comatose maid finally stirs, giving a subtle twitch.

“I hate stairs.”