#dumb shit. fuck anxiety

[why-the-heck-not]

a productive all-nighter starts by making a clear to do list & getting to work spending an hour or so searching for the music that hits the vibe just right

[telesodalite]

Been thinking about idw1's outliers lately, and how sort of wild the whole concept is from a worldbuilding standpoint, and it struck me that most confirmed outlier abilities tend to be really useful, or flashy, or powerfully dangerous, and few to none tend to be like, really boring, or totally impractical, or even entirely useless? Which, doesn't really make sense when considering the fact that outlier abilities are seemingly random.

Surely not everyone who's born an outlier gets something useful?

And I don't mean like, "good" useful, but any sort of useful, even if that means you can kill people with your voice, or give a power boost by exploding yourself, those are still "useful".

But surely there had to be some with abilities that were totally impractical, or nonbeneficial, or at the very least just insignificant or purely aesthetic and pointless?

[hillerska-official]

(Ignore me I just gotta scream a bit before I lose my mind entirely)

[animalsandskyyy]

I’m trying to enter a “thoughtfully messaging people” era. so if I see something that reminds me of someone? i’m sending it to them. miss talking with someone? i’m messaging them. just want someone to know i’m thinking of them? i’m telling them that.

best case, it makes their day or it starts a conversation. worst case, they don’t respond… so i’d say those are pretty good odds.

[pa-pa-plasma]

i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal

[danieyells]

?????? Why did he tell me everything was fine if my insurance requires me to have been on hormones for 2 years to approve the procedure. . .why didn't he say they won't approve it if that wasn't the case. . .is that outdated information???? Maybe we can lie????

Am i seriously about to have all of my fucking hype crushed???? Maybe I can convince my doctors to lie for me or we can say I was doing it DIY for a few years. People ask how long I've been on hormones a lot because my voice is pretty deep and I look pretty masculine surely we could get away with this???

I feel really fucking beaten down now. Why not stop the discussion and go 'hey they require X amount of time on hormones'. . .I really hope I can convince my providers to fudge the truth for me a little or i'm going to lose my mind i seriously don't know how well i'm going to take it if i can't get this done???? Like I already feel so anxious at the thought. Please everything about me needs this. I am going to go fucking insane if this can't happen this year.

[blondiest]

girl help i lost sight of creating things first and foremost for myself and got overly invested in external validation therefore setting myself up to feel terrible about my works because i started looking at them too closely and became paranoid that they weren't good enough and that people would think they're stupid and—

i am going to be on here less and for a little while may be engaging with other people's writing a bit less as i try to get back into my own creative flow again 🥲 will still pop in now and again but i think being too tuned-in to everything has been making me a little insecure (<- a me problem; all of you are lovely and sweet) and with some added work stress i'm just!!! not engaging with things in a way that makes me happy or that feels particularly healthy.

honestly i feel strange even bothering to make a post about this bc Who Cares but i didn't want anyone to feel ignored if i am just straight not replying to messages etc for chunks of time. 🤝

[abowlofpetuniasandawhale]

I genuinely don’t understand how people can’t wrap their heads around “if a computer is scheduled to do something every ten minutes, it will do the thing every ten minutes.”

Not eight minutes but you feel like you’ve waited long enough. Not six minutes because you’re really in a rush. Not twelve minutes because you just need a little more time.

The computer has no knowledge of your schedule, needs, or anxiety. The computer does not know or care about how you perceive time. It runs the damn job. Every. Ten. Minutes.

Stop calling for support every time it “feels like” it’s “not working”!!!!

[byanyan]

so anyway, thanks for reading my little dissertations on byan's gender. sorry for not writing again today, i'm just. i'm fuckin goin through it rn man

[crazeyyovershares]

I have never been as terrified in my life as I am right now.

I. Need. Help.

Losing my home suddenly. Have no money to get into an apartment. Have no car to get to work. Have no where to leave my dog when I'm at work. I cannot and will not give him up. I'll give me up first.

I'm so scared I feel physically ill. My head is pounding, I can't stop crying.

I have less than a week.

Money would solve absolutely everything right now.

Fuck money.

Fuck. Money.

Fuck it.

....

...

..

.

If one more person tells me "you'll figure it out" I'm going to cold-cock them so fast their neck will snap.

A man who is supposed to be my family, who promised us a home and security for life broke his word to us. He's completely willing to let us live in a car or a tent in tent city.

His only child and their family just tossed aside like actual garbage.

Why? Because he refused to walk away form the house with no money. Refused to let us take over the mortgage and continue to live in the home that's been our family home since 1996 and be able to keep 2 other members of our side of the family from being homeless at the same time.

Refused.

Unless I buy him out he won't let us stay.

I dont have 30k to give him. That's a years wages for me and I JUST started a new job 2 days ago after a year of unemployment after another man's greed cost me my job.

He sold the company I worked for and the new owner cut all remote workers overnight.

I was there for 5 years.

The new owner didn't even bother to tell me I was #fired until the first day he was in charge despite having talked to absolutely all other employees before the sale went thru.

Applied to jobs for over a year. Finally found something and suddenly find myself losing my home in the same week.

We've been a one income house struggling to make ends meat for over a year. We have nothing saved, it wasn't possible.

2 steps forward one step back i guess.

I'm tired.

I'm #terrified.

No one gives a shit.

I have no one to get help from.

On top of it all I'm #AuDHD, have #PTSD and #PMDD. My meds are barely keeping me together.

.

.

.

What the point?

Anyways here's my dog and my bearded dragon. Wendigo and Franky.

[phagodyke]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

[gregmarriage]

i’m so desperately in need of at least like a tiny piece of independence and getting frustrated when i can’t have it. me moving out is so laughable, bc i wouldn’t be able to cope, and it would be too dangerous, and it’s not like i actually have friends, or a partner i could live with (imao). but also, even if i did, it’s like wow, congrats, you’re my built in carer, and you’re gonna get annoyed with me, real fast <3

[cavefairy]

oh god oh shit oh fuck everyone hates me why do i talk at all guys just tell me to never talk again (< - said something stupid like 2 hours ago and now feels nauseous and cant sleep)

[rotisseries]

contemplating getting the tiktok masc/90s boyband heartthrob/jo from muna haircut rn....

[faggling]

sobbing

[izzy-b-hands]

My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.