#and i wasnt allowed to Not
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sobbing
#its kinda dumb#but im so angry and heartbroken that katie got rid of all our LPS's#i always have been ig#she did it with a lot of shit that our smaller parts miss really bad#we used to wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety that she had gotten rid of something else we loved and then we'd go check#god i hate her#what the actual fuck#i also used to dread when winter would be over because i knew there would be a mandatory day i had to go through everything#and i wasnt allowed to Not#she's so fucking mean#just. that's a fucking child man#let them have their fucking things#im also angry because i can't replace these things to try and make us feel better or whatever#that's stuff that's just gone and not being produced anymore#im so sad#genuinely someone just was like. I want to die so theres some intense feelings in the brainspace rn#fascinating what stuff really hurts#i'm glad it's not everything anymore#but you'd assume the big stuff would still cause the most distress#granted there is some big stuff that is still heavily dissociated from anyone who fronts#most alters are internal only tbh#or emergency only#i've made a lot of progress but i think ive just realized that there's still a lot to go#and it's probably a lot of stuff that im embarrassed to call trauma#it's easier to call rape trauma than psychological/emotional abuse#even the more covert sex abuse is easier for me to accept
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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he has degrees
#my art#digital art#fanart#simon petrikov#fionna and cake#just finished the last 2 episodes#i couldnt stop thinking abt this after seeing him as shermy tryin to open the book#so i had to draw it#i wasnt allowed to watch adventure time as a child but im not immune to silly old man#fionna and cake spoilers#adventure time
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The self-awareness on this guy 😞 someone pls send him an "are you bi?" quiz STAT
#dead plate#rody lamoree#rody x vincent#vincent charbonneau#rodince#rodincent#my art#i saw someone tag one of my drawings with a version of their ship name using their last names and it was nice but i forgot what it was#aksjdhf#also NOO i forgot Rody's lil moles 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#thankfully at least tumblr allows edits#anyways#rody looks so wonky to me but I just wanted to stop fidgeting with it and post it since i wasnt getting anywhere anyways aksjdfh#also little story time lol#when i was in 10th grade there was this girl in my chemisty class that i was kinda frienemies with#we just always got into arguments with each other but the vibe ultimately stayed light and friendly between us#kinda like a <<fuck you but anyways what did you get for no. 5>> kind of situation#one day she slammed one of her hands against the door right next to my head 😳😳#i think she was trying to intimidate me but instead it just gave me a core memory LMAOOO#thankfully by then i already knew i wasnt straight lol but it definitely unlocked something in me hahahah
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You know a character has really hit their gender out of the park when they're popularly hced as transmasc AND transfemme
#shut up me#This is not a unique thought I know Im just thinking about shuichi saihara#re: the icon change#I know I JUST changed it to mugi. but decided i actually wasnt feeling it#edit: adding the tags from my recent reblog of this in case anyone checks#I love that tumblr's edit function allows me to do this without fucking up 99% of the reblogs of this post#anyways to people in the tags saying ''just say link'' NO!#ITS NOT LINK IT WAS NEVER ABOUT LINK#(IT WAS KIND OF ABOUT LINK BUT MOSTLY NOT)
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I think I made some of you guys a little sad with my last post, so you can have some happy aftermath twins before part 2, as a treat ❤️
#my art#gravity falls#gravity falls au#HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU#gravity falls fanart#stan pines#stanley pines#grunkle stan#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#stan twins#i need to find a gravity falls discord or smth- it's basically a ritual for me with every fandom#i tried to find some on the internet but they're so... rude?? maybe it's just me but i dont think#openly cussing people out and insulting the people who want to leave the server is a very “positive and open” server they claimed to be#which was so crazy because Ive never seen a discord server be like that?? like usually they're pretty chill but these ones like actively#called people bitches and lame assholes after they left the server like CHILL my man- they're allowed to Not stay#it wasnt even just one- I had to go through like 4 to 5 different GF servers and they were all like that- it was CRAZY#anyways!! that was just me rambling it was just such a weird experience for me#GOD I am PLAGUED by thoughts of this AU
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Hey maybe a group of creatives deciding that they want control over their content and don't want to waste time and resources begging for ad revenue is like. A good thing
#lav rambles#watcher#its literally just what dropout did#i understand being upset at having to get another subscription#but did yall watch the video?#this is something theyre excited about#that will allow them to make more and better shows#and youtube just wasnt working for them anymore#like honestly id rather have a couple small subscriptions to companies i love#and want to support#than get their stuff for free with countless ads that hinder their creativity and freedom
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Another favourite angst trope: When a character is so used to being treated badly that they don't see anything wrong with it and talk and think about it very matter-of-factly
Until they meet the other characters and see how HORRIFIED they are every time they reveal another detail from their past
#my posts#tropes#this trope is also great when paired with the 'not used to freedom' trope#like a character very matter-of-factly asking if they're allowed to eat lunch because they've already eaten breakfast#and they werent previously allowed regular meals#but didnt realise that that wasnt normal#whump#ive made a few 'favourite angst' trope posts#should i make this a series
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the dynamic of demigods thinking which other demigod is the most powerful is always amusing to me because. like, we know the big 3 kids are all the most powerful. That's just a fact of their universe. And then we know nearly every character views Percy as the strongest demigod, and most people are very rightfully intimidated by him.
and you look at the powers of the Big 3 kids and there's Percy, but then you realize Nico is just kind of objectively more powerful than him but simply chooses to hang out in Percy's shadow like he's Percy's scary dog privileges. Like, the two of them are pretty equally capable of causing multiple different apocalypses. Nico just also has like four different instakill powers and it's not like he doesn't use them. He very much uses them! Not infrequently, even! And they don't seem to take a significant amount of energy from him! And other demigods are pretty intimidated by both of them! But Nico makes a conscious point to keep his cards close to his chest and not let on exactly how dangerous and scary he can be if he wants to. People are already scared enough of him without knowing anything about him and he doesn't like that. Percy doesn't think about that nearly as much, and so usually just goes in guns blazing and that's part of why he's considered a wildcard. And then Nico himself puts Percy on a pedestal, so those who do know more about Nico's abilities then presume Nico knows something they don't about Percy that implies Percy is even stronger than him.
And even on a meta level Nico's narrative role requires him to be functionally more powerful than Percy, because he very often serves the purpose of getting Percy out of situations he can't handle on his own. That's just part of his function as a character! But also narratively he can't overshadow Percy so he just takes a backseat of his own accord and that's very amusing to me.
#pjo#percy jackson#riordanverse#nico di angelo#i will also note it is implied though we never see that Hazel has the exact same powers as Nico#and Hazel has trained with her powers way longer than Nico has plus is older so theoretically is more powerful already#she killed a giant all by herself. sank a small island. and successfully subdued Gaea for like another 60 years#so given that + her also having Nico's powers then *Hazel* is theoretically the strongest demigod no contest#Jason and Thalia end up kind of nerfed by the plot in that neither is allowed to overshadow Percy either#but they dont play the same roles that characters like Nico do - Nico keeps getting stupid abilities just for convenience factor#and Bianca never got the opportunity to use many powers besides astral projection/dream manipulation and similarly hades kid illusion stuff#and general ghost stuff. and she does all that as a ghost really. her killing the skeleton wasnt even her powers that was just a normal sta#and it was just by virtue of her being a hades kid and fulfilling the ''can kill these skeletons'' requirement that it blew up#technically she also showcases underworld immunity with the lethe stuff wearing off but that's very subtle#Hazel also doesnt play the same role as Nico and so doesnt get to showcase all that#plus is similarly nerfed with the ''cant be cooler than Percy'' constraint and so never gets to really do anything#even though logistically she is the most powerful and should showcase the full extent of her abilities to the same degree as Percy and Nico#Jason at least gets a little bit more wiggle room than Thalia being a main protagonist#Nico just gets the most wiggle room out of both not being a protagonist and being functionally a dues ex machina most of the time#versus Thalia or Bianca who are only ever secondary or supporting characters
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sloppy eater
nsfw on patreon
#step 1: go on urban dictionary#step 2: define “munch”#thank me later#i just think it was a crime that he wasnt allowed to properly bite someone all movie#get this man a chew toy or something maybe then he'll calm down#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099#spiderverse#across the spiderverse#giragi art
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Have a Levihan!Mummy AU dump that was totally not just an excuse to draw Levi in suspenders wut 😗
#levihan#levi ackerman#hange zoe#the mummy#the mummy 1999#artists on tumblr#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot#snk#snk fanart#crossover#moblit berner#hanji zoe#i maed dis#was anyone going to tell me this year is the 25th anniversary?? i wasnt allowed to watch it when it came out but still i feel so old now 😭
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snakeman luffy
#monkey d luffy#one piece#my art#op snake god au#described in alt text#i wuv snake ppl so fucking much you have No idea#when i was a kid a teacher told us a story about a king? whose wife told him he wasnt allowed to look at her when she bathes but he#got curious after a while and looked only to find out she was half snake and he ran away. and!! my whole 7yo self was so confused because#if i had found out my wife was half snake i'd be so happy!! anyway ive been meaning to draw him as a snake for a while now and finally did#it! i wish we had a snaketember the same way we have mermay i'd be so happy fr
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looks at hair slicked back megu I Could Fix Him
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#real talk he was near unrecognizable 2 me before i coloured the hair and eyes#spent a good hour struggling being like this is not my beautiful boy Who Are You but we got there eventually#first he looked like eden n then he looked like th ace attorney guy n a billion other Anime Boys With Exposed Forehead#had to use another layer 2 draw on his bangs to make sure it wasnt an issue with the face#sure enough it Wasnt the face it was simply the universal truth that megumi is not meant to show forehead on main :/#the essence of fushiguro megumi is in the bangs i dont make the rules sorry <3#i will always think the bangs suit him more i think but i have come around on him w his hair back somewhat#peeled megumi u can stay ill allow it#just not when sukuna does it smh#also side note just this kind of comparison piece drawing a char with hair down vs slicked back sent me RIGHt back to yoi u have no idea#like i know fr a fact i did this w yuuri#twice even
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hetero yuri.....................
#i wasnt satisfied fully w the other drawing tonight so i shidded out some more#trying to not be a perfectionist by allowing myself to doodle again#ouhhhhh how i love them#vashmeryl#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#my silly art
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that fucking flower i hate
#writing chara is hard and im probably not great at it#im also still never sure of if i should draw flowey crying#im not sure if he expresses that way#anyway whatever#also if it wasnt clear the first one is a joke#if i want i will draw flowey replacing all that trash back down on the floor to cancel it out#anyway#thinking about flowey DOES fuck me up still#you accidentally kill yourself and take your best friend in the world with you#and its your fault. you disobeyed their judgement. it would have been so easy#but you aren't allowed to just die about it#instead your forced to live out the rest of your infinite life in the form of the thing they loved most#every day a reminder of what you did#anyway sorry#dami's art#undertale#utdr#undertale fanart#flowey#flowey the flower#chara dreemurr#chara undertale#asriel#asriel dreemurr
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being an adult means we can buy or make as much self-indulgent shit (as we can afford) and unironically have trinkets of our fave things cause our teen years was bullied for liking things and hiding/denying we were ever neurodivergent to the point of suicide. sucks for anyone that thinks its weird cringe but I'm going to try and allow myself to love myself in little ways now
#wish i could tell younger me that i wasnt fucked up i was just autistic#even if youre not nd i still think having things you enjoy around you is important especially for your space#so i make a notable effort to get fandom stuff for my younger siblings now#like my lil sister thinks getting demon slayer stuff is cringe cause anime and what not (havent read it sorry)#but her face still lights up when i get her a pin for her#or a blind bag with a character keychain#and very slowly the self hatred and whatever it feels like that youre not allowed to like anything and that anything you like is bad#starts to diminish#my qpp is obsessed with birds and chickens and has so many trinkets around the house for it#or my friend who loves how pretty stained glass looks that his walls are covered in thrifted stain glass pieces#i know an elderly couple who are obsessed with star trek and they have a room in the house purely for shelves stacked with collectables#my friend's dad is so obsessed with spiderman that he has 3 walls full of figurines and posters and collectables that prob amoutn to tons#like i dont get it but i get it#maybe its because im sick rn but im in my head tonight about human loving things and stories and cocepts to the point of comfort#sara shush#ramble
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