#drawing them is now part of my daily routine
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thrantober-day4-chiss ascendancy
(thrawn sporting a manbun with dedication for @twocrowssinatrenchcoat :)))
#drawing them is now part of my daily routine#this literally took only 15 mins whattt#ajhcbhe feels and fluff#good night.#star wars#myart#star wars fanart#digital painting#fanart#star wars thrawn#chiss ascendancy#thrawn ascendancy#thrawn#mitth'raw'nuruodo#eli vanto#thranto#thrantober#thranto fanart#thrawn x eli vanto
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🕷️Just Another Neglected Story🕷️
[previous] - Part 4.1 - [next]
Any names that you find familiar, in this part, were taken (with permission) from the fanart made by @the-broken-truth, while some changes like description of what's happening were made by me then modified by my beta reader, my bbg, Jamie.
tw: Joker, angst/no comfort, small description of injuries, small description/mention of a panic attack (I am unsure if it was that, please tell me if I am wrong).
Weeks passed with you still being Spider and a 'normal' teenager at the same time. But some changes and new things happened in these weeks.
You got visited by Superman almost daily, or nightly since he always visited when you were patrolling at night. You never questioned how he knew where to find you, you didn't want to think about it and just let him follow you during your nightly patrols.
He also helped you train while using all of your strength because you usually held back in fear of hurting people, so his tips helped a lot considering that he also had the same problem before.
Furthermore, now that you started to help with small problems around Gotham, like small thefts and gang problems, those problems started to slowly stop, giving you more time to train with Superman and help around the community.
You still didn't join the Bats or even the Justice League whenever Superman tried to propose it, you just didn't want to fight big shots like Joker or other super villains.
You liked doing small things and loved seeing the change it brought from you helping.
Just defeating super villains won't reward you with a pie from the nice old lady after helping her move her things in the apartment and give her groceries if she can't go to the supermarket, or getting drawings of little kids after you help them go home safely.
You also scored candies whenever the moms had them, which made you incredibly happy because they always had the candies you loved.
So you were happy, especially since Alfred never mentioned your breakdown after that night and kept on the usual routine of leaving your food on the desk in your room so you wouldn't have to come down to the kitchen.
You did notice him acting a bit weird but you pushed those thoughts aside since you didn't really notice anything weird happening around the Manor so you thought he was just nervous for something Bruce did.
You gave him too much trust and sooner than later you will regret doing that.
But something did change around the Manor, you just didn't notice because you started to walk on the ceiling, without shoes or Alfred would kill you, to avoid annoying encounters with anyone in the house, even if listening to music while on the ceiling was a bit difficult but you’re managing.
Well, Alfred knew that if he walked to Bruce and told him about you and what you felt he would've been ignored, especially since Bruce barely remembers that you even exist in the Manor and that you're a member of the family.
And even if Bruce did remember that you exist he would be annoyed, especially since he clearly hated your mother and was only paying the child support because he had to, especially since your mother threatened to take him to court if he wouldn't pay when he first got the news.
Talking to any of the batkids would've also been useless, because he also knew that no one in the Manor remembers you, especially now that you could walk on walls no one could even see you.
He couldn't count how many times he almost got a heart attack whenever he could see you on the ceiling, just hanging out or doing your homework, even though he still didn't understand how you could work without gravity making everything fall.
So he decided to do it in small steps, starting with leaving photos of you around the house in places where everyone sees them.
He put almost every picture that he owns of you, like you at a dance recital as the lead dancer or you at a science fair to which you won first place with an invention of yours.
One thing Alfred knew by putting your photos was that every person would notice how in all your photos you were alone and how your face never showed any emotion.
He knew it was small but he couldn't wait anymore, he needed to take action now or before you decided to leave for the Kent family, he couldn't let you go after he heard you talk about Clark and Conner while he made food in the kitchen.
He just hoped it wasn't too late for you, especially with your break down. He hoped you could still let someone in after all these years of being alone.
He did try his best but he was only a butler and he couldn't change someone's view of another person if that view was filled with hatred.
And you never noticed thanks to your walking on the ceiling or walls, moreover, you couldn't care less if they actually noticed you now. You were finally moving on and having a new start thanks to Spider.
But now it's not the time to think of Alfred's attempt of getting you acknowledged by the family, you were getting busier thanks to all the work as Spider, school and also dance classes.
You also kept on using yourself as a test subject, just to check the process of the spider DNA that's now in your DNA and seeing if anything changed or you had some mysterious new powers, taking videos to record the process of your evolution with the now Spider DNA in your body.
One thing you acquired after a while was invisibility, or camouflage as you called it since invisibility sounded magical and you didn't want it to sound like you were a kid.
How you found out you could use it was not a good experience.
You were in the kitchen with Alfred, just hanging out with him while he cooked when Damian suddenly entered the room to ask Alfred for some food for a new pet that he adopted.
In your panic at the sheer thought of Damian seeing you and hurting you like he did in the past made you freeze up, squeezing your eyes shut in hopes that he would just disappear from existence. Praying to every god you could recall that Damian wouldn't find you, you tried to not breathe too loudly so he wouldn’t hear you.
After a few minutes of paranoia passed and you didn't hear anything around you, you slowly opened your eyes and saw Damian still waiting for Alfred to give him the food for a cat he adopted and completely ignoring you.
You were still scared he would see you so you stayed silent and waited patiently, albeit apprehensively, for him to go away before actually making a sound, which was a loud sigh of restrained relief as air poured back into your lungs. Somehow you hadn't noticed that you'd been holding your breath the whole time. Strange.
You slowly got down from the counter you were sitting on and walked up to Alfred, confused as to why the old man wasn't looking at you and instead was looking at the ceiling before softly calling out his name.
You got even more confused and slightly worried when he got scared since you were standing right in front of him but he, for some reason, couldn't see you.
After a bit of Alfred trying to explain that he couldn't actually see you and you not understanding why, you finally managed to make yourself visible.
You quickly went to work at the corporation to take a few tests to see what happened and didn't see anything with those tests but after a few days of trying to understand what happened and how you could make it happen again, you managed to go invisible on command.
It took a bit but you managed to do it, which got extremely useful to sneak into the kitchen when you need to get some snacks in the middle of the night so that Alfred doesn't catch you on the wall eating chips at 3 am.
Plus thanks to that time you found out that your eyes glow in the dark, which was a bit weird since the spider that bit you wasn't a bioluminescent one but you figured it was your own DNA that changed some things.
In the time following that discovery and training with Clark, you slowly started to join him in solo missions for the Justice League, but made sure to tell him that you didn't want to partner up with another person except him.
And you made sure that he knew you weren't an official member of the Justice League or of the Young Justice League, you just joined him so you wouldn't get rusty since Gotham is still filled with crime but fighting with teens or men who just swing a crowbar or knife is not really challenging.
You didn't want anyone except Clark to join those solo missions, not because you were scared of hurting another person since you learned to control your strength thanks to him and got pretty good with your spider senses.
You just hated being around people you didn't know or trust, especially if they were a member of the Wayne family, you absolutely detested them.
You refused to look at them and especially talk to them even though you had the voice modulator.
One of the many reasons you used the voice modulator was to not get recognised but also because you hated your own voice and the voice modulator helped when talking to lost kids or just kids in general.
You never told anyone why you hate your voice, you just refused to talk one day and learned asl to communicate with people and also used notes if people didn't know asl.
The mask was like a hearing aid, it changed your voice and helped you use it more so you could talk sometimes.
As time passed, the birdies (basically all of Bruce's kids, you just called them all bird to show how much you didn't care about them) kept on trying to talk to you and showing up where you were when you were patrolling.
You had a list of most annoying to less annoying since you couldn't really do much about them, especially since Clark forbade you to throw another one of them off a roof if they got too close to your liking or just breathed wrong.
They never sustained grave injuries since you always threw them to another building or a dumpster, or to Superman if he was around.
Most of the time in a dumpster to make yourself smile since you would take a photo then swing away before they could do anything, but they started to pose whenever you would take a photo, making you annoyed and ruining your fun.
The most annoying was Dick, with how persistent he was even if he was stuck on a wall thanks to your webs when he got too close or made you uncomfortable by continuing to call you nicknames that he would use with Damian and Tim.
You hated how he would just laugh and call you his little sibling, especially since he would never call you that if you didn't have a mask on and you felt that it was unfair that he suddenly cared about you just because of the mask.
It made you feel like you were getting ignored and forgotten once again but this time to a version of you that he likes while the one behind the mask is always getting ignored.
Just like at the Manor, the real you will never be appreciated and accepted with love.
The second most annoying in the list is Tim, it was gonna be Damian but Tim took second place with how creepy he is around you and how he knows too much of what you do.
Like, you knew he's the one who knows everything about every hero and villain since you saw him work on the bat-computer while you were stealing a few grappling hooks for your web shooters since they broke. (You were invisible and you got lucky that Cassandra wasn't there or she would've found you immediately.)
But seeing him open a folder and watching how many videos and photos he has of you in the bat-computer, like when you were fighting some gang members or when you were helping some nice old lady crossing the street.
If anyone else showed you their collection of you doing badass or just normal stuff while you were a vigilante then you would've felt impressed and very honored because you never thought someone would actually go out their way to be a fan of you.
But seeing Tim, someone you still had some respect for, having so many files, especially from when you first started and hit so many walls while swinging around made you weirded out and somehow violated, especially with how concentrated he was while staring at the videos.
Seeing that folder and all the information he had on you made you lose all the respect you still had for the boy.
Another thing he did was that, whenever you met him while patrolling or eating a few hot dogs with your favorite guy, he would always talk of things you did like he was there and creeped you out so much that you had to restrain yourself from throwing him off a roof or wherever you two were.
Most of the time you just tased him and went your way, paying the hotdog guy a little extra so he wouldn't stop selling you hot dogs.
You're also starting to think that hot dog guy is using you for the tips since you always tip him 50$ or more to stay silent and let you grab more hot dogs from him.
Third annoying but still so annoying that you want to punch his face is Damian. Mostly because he treats you like you're his older sibling.
Like he respects you and looks up to you. But you knew it was because of the mask since you also knew that if you ever took off the mask in front of him he would try to kill you.
You have to be supervised by Clark and even Jon since your only solution to get rid of Damian when he’s around you is throwing him off a roof without worrying about not using your super strength.
You hated the kid and didn't really hide it but he never said anything about it since he thought you two were bonding and you acting like you hate him is normal.
You wanted to tase him when he dared to call you his older sibling in Arabic, hating the look on his face that had so much adoration and admiration for you since it actually made him look like a normal teen.
(You learned some Arabic to get close to Damian when you found out where he was from when you were young)
Like he didn't create so many scars on your arms and legs with his sword and those batarangs. Like he didn’t make you so afraid of the Manor that Alfred had to assure you that he wouldn’t hurt you or you would get a panic attack by getting near the Manor.
Least annoying but still annoying is Jason Todd. You hate that mask he wears because you can't see his face and know what he’s really thinking about, and especially how he acts like you two are two old friends who meet up everyday.
You hate how he pats you on the head when you're distracted, since the spider sense doesn't really deem him a threat for you, and manages to evade your attempts to kick him away or throw him off a roof, laughing whenever you try to do so.
Like you two were just playing and you weren't angry at him and wanting to throw something at him but couldn't.
So your one solution was ignoring him and walking to the side of the building so he wouldn't reach you since he couldn't walk on walls like you.
Which did make you smug whenever he complained about it on the roof of the same building, finding it funny when he acted all offended when he understood you were smug by how you were acting even if your mask didn’t show your face.
Yea you and Jason did get along sometimes, most of the time if you were having a nice day and if he was the first one you would meet of the birds.
You had a decent relationship with Jason, yes you did have fun sometimes but you wouldn't call him a friend or even your brother.
Plus you never forgot about the years he would ignore you and especially when he punched you in the eye and didn't even apologize decently.
Or how he would complain about how terrible of a father Bruce is, or how annoying Dick is to anyone else while you would just stand there, completely ignored since he was probably talking to someone else or to himself.
And acted like he was the only one who's life was 'ruined' when Bruce got in his life when he's still loved even after everything he's done.
Even though he's still remembered every Christmas and given big gifts that means that the person who bought them thought of him, and birthday while no one even remembered you had a birthday and you always celebrated it with a cupcake or some friends.
So you preferred to ignore him or you would punch his skull if he tried to complain one more time about Batman and his death.
Not like Cassandra, Duke and Stephanie were any better.
Cassandra was annoying because of how silent she was. You always managed to see her but you knew she wanted you to see her.
Plus, 'hanging out' with her was just you doing your usual stuff while she followed since you couldn't push her away like the others.
And fighting wasn't in the option since she could kick your ass with just a hand and without moving, so you just ignored her, even though your spider sense was always going crazy when she was around since she was a walking threat.
Even five minutes with her would give you the worst headaches that you had to ask her to stand very far or you wouldn't be able to even walk around without wanting to puke.
You hated her because she was taken in by Bruce like you but instead of being hated because of her upbringing, she got accepted with open arms and he always loved her.
What did she have that you didn't?! Why does she get all the attention and love you always wished for while you're getting forgotten and hated?!
You saw her getting accepted, getting all the love you always wished for, seeing your father going to her dance recitals while he didn't even bother to even acknowledge that you do the same sport as her but in a different and smaller dance studio since you couldn't afford to go to the one Cassandra goes because of how expensive even one lesson was.
Stephanie was another person you hated. You knew of her past, you used the bat-computer whenever no one was in the batcave when you managed to control the invisibility.
You knew about what her dad did. You understood her reasoning to become a vigilante. You didn't hate her for her past, god you didn't even care who her father was.
You just hated her because of how loved she was by everyone. She was like Cassandra but once again, all the love was going towards the two and it never even touched you.
You did try to bond with her when you arrived at the Manor but she did look like she wanted to be everywhere but not with you.
Even when you only talked about things you knew she loved, it still wasn't enough for her. She still avoided you and preferred to spend time with either Barbara, Dick or Tim.
And after a bit you gave up and let her live her life without you in her way since she clearly didn't care about you.
The worst part was that everyone prefers Spider than you, since she also keeps trying to hang out with you when you're patrolling or spending time with kids and teens.
Or getting beat during a game of basketball since you sucked at that game and the teens you played with would tease you which made you laugh since you liked spending time with people the same age as you.
But it would be ruined when she would show up, wanting to play too even though she would just play with you and make it obvious she wanted to make you win.
Which ruined the game entirely for you and always made you leave after a bit with the excuse of being busy as a vigilante, which made the teens and also Stephanie confused.
Duke was the only one of them that you knew tried to hang out with you when you weren't Spider. That's why he was one of the ones you hang out with most if he came to see you while you were patrolling.
He came when you were almost 15, you didn't remember how old you were but you knew he was one of the ones who actually paid attention to you.
But after a while, all his duties as Signal, as a high schooler and as one of Bruce's kids made him too busy for him to spend time with you, to which he explained whenever he was late for something you two planned to do.
And you understood, you cheered for him from the back and always smiled at him whenever he was with you as Signal, even if he couldn't see it. And he did tell you the best places to get food during patrols so you liked him for that, but you remained loyal to the hot dog guy.
But then there was Bruce, acting like he was the savior from his kids that kept annoying you even though he wasn't any better than any of his kids, he was one of the worst in terms of how annoying he was.
He was starting to compete with Dick for the first spot on your list, which you didn't like since you just wanted to be alone, or with Duke and Jason.
Like he would keep on calling you kid and other nicknames you heard him give to his sons over the years, which made you sick because it reminded you of when you were little and that your biggest wish was to also get a nickname like your brothers and sisters and spend time with him as your father even if he never paid any actual attention to you.
But what you hated most was how he always smiled softly at you, even when you tried to kick him away and he would just grab your ankle like it was nothing, like you were his favorite child. Like he didn't tell you that he would never be a father to you when you gave him a father's day card when you were 12 and trying to bond with him.
Looking at you with so much love and adoration, making you disgusted since he was the same man who once looked at you with disgust and hatred just for entering his office because you needed his signature for something.
The same man who clearly told you to not expect him to treat you like his child since you weren't. You were just an annoying kid who had to come to his house since no one else wanted to take you in.
You wanted to puke whenever he looked with love, refusing to forget about everything he did just because you were a child of someone he hated.
You understood why Bruce hated your mother, you couldn't force everyone to like what you like, but you still didn't understand why he had to ruin your life by keeping you with him.
He could have sent you to a foster home, he could have sent you to boarding school all your life so he could never see the face of the one he hates. But he didn't.
No, he decided to accept you in his home and ruined your life, making you miserable by keeping you there and then basically neglecting you and forgetting you even exist.
You wanted to puke whenever he looked at you with love when you were Spider, you had to take so many showers and had to scrub your skin so hard it turned red by how hard you tried to wash away his touch whenever he managed to actually touch you on either the shoulders or head.
You found comfort in Clark since he never forced you to interact with the Robins and Batman and understood why you hated them since you explained to him who you were but didn't tell him everything.
He did annoy you whenever he tried to suggest you to come with him to Metropolis even after you explained that you couldn't just move to another city right in the middle of the school year.
Moreover you were still a minor and you would need Bruce's consent, which you refused to ask since you refused to acknowledge that he was supposed to be your legal guardian.
Plus you always had fun with his kids when they were around since they would throw you in the air and catch you, making you laugh like crazy since their throw was like making you fly for like 2 minutes before catching you.
Conner was more fun to be around because he understood what you were going through since he also had problems with Superman when the kryptonian refused to accept the clone as his son.
Plus he always made the best jokes and made you laugh whenever you would have a bad day after seeing your legal guardian and his kids having a fun outing together while you were at the Manor since they didn't even remember you existed.
Or when you had a bad dance practice and almost destroyed your pointe shoes with your strength because you thought you weren't good enough to be a ballet dancer which spiraled to thinking that because of you not being good at dancing then you weren't good enough to be recognised by your legal guardian and his family.
He was more like an older brother than Dick, Jason and Tim ever were for you. And you didn't even care, you loved him as a brother and loved hanging out with him.
Jon was nice but he was also friends with Damian and you didn't really spend that much time with him because of that. You were scared Damian would be with him and you didn't want to see the evil spawn.
But the times you did hang out with him were nice, he always brought cake that his grandparents made and shared it with you while you listened to him talk about whatever he wanted.
He was fun and very nice but you weren't used to hanging around a small teen who actually wanted to be with you and actively seeked you out for your attention.
You were more used to a small teen who would glare at you and attack you if you dared do anything, even just breathing in his direction, the scars on your arms and back proved that.
But you never said anything to Jon about what his best friend did to you, you didn't want Jon to feel like he had to choose between two sides.
And you knew he would choose Damian's side, no one ever chose your side. You knew no one would even dare to be by your side.
Well after a while of going to missions with Clark and him letting you do most of the work as training with his close by to make sure you wouldn't get hurt, you were finally going on a relatively simple mission with Conner and unfortunately with Jason.
You knew Conner didn't want him there but he probably got Batman to convince Clark and him, so you didn't say anything to him about Jason being there and just stayed by his side while you were in the small ship.
The whole ride was spent in silence, only stopped whenever Conner would check the coordinates or by the sound of you fixing the web shooters to make sure they wouldn't go haywire when you were fighting.
You finally landed in the spot where you were supposed to start your mission, near the villain's lair, if you could call it that since it was an unused bunker a group of cultists found and are now living there, which made you get down eagerly since you wanted to finally do a mission without Clark's supervision.
But your excitement immediately died when you saw Stephanie waiting for you there, making you let out a loud string of curses.
And yes, you did ignore the message on your phone from Clark that said 'language' and just walked past Stephanie and Jason, just wanting to get the mission done and go home with Conner.
Plus he did promise you his grandmother's best pie if you finished the mission and you could not pass up the opportunity of getting another slice of that delicious pie.
As you walked up to the lair with Conner, you patted him on the back before standing in front of the door as Stephanie tried to open it by picking the lock. You waited exactly 10 seconds for Stephanie to unlock the door before pushing her away, kicking the door down with your strength since she was taking too long for your liking.
You didn't even care if they were watching, you just glared at them all in silence for a few seconds before they were able to hear you say.
"Stay here and you two don't follow me, Conner don't try anything or I will tell Clark"
Then, right in front of them you became invisible before walking off, the only sound they could hear were of your sneakers walking down the metallic stairs.
(Switch Pov to Stephanie)
Stephanie knew she wasn't the best person. She knew of her father's evil doings and she knew she wasn't the best Robin or the best vigilante.
But when she saw Spider, she thought that they were perfect. They were always helping people and never too busy for everyone.
She, at first, didn't even know who Spider is because of how busy she was with her life and her vigilante job. But when she saw Tim researching them, she was amazed.
She knew there were other vigilantes in the city, it was a big city but she didn't know about a vigilante who didn't fight big villains like the others.
She saw Spider helping old ladies, stopping small gangs from forming by helping the teens and just being an image for the people to rely on.
She knew Bruce stopped high grade villains like Joker or others but Spider, Spider was different.
They didn't fight Joker, no they just fought the criminals who would bother people that couldn't do anything to stop them.
She admired the vigilante and wanted to be friends with them, maybe one day she could convince them to join her and her family at the Manor.
But what she didn't understand even though she craved to know was why they hated her. Why they hated her and the rest of her family.
She tried so much, she craved their validation so much that she trained so hard and tried so many times to interact with them.
But she would keep on getting ignored or she wouldn't be able to follow them by the speed of them swinging or when they walk on walls to avoid her.
She cried so many nights at the thought of her idol, the one person she wanted, no craved validation would hate her so much when she can't even remember or know why they hate her so much.
But when she heard of Jason joining Spider for their first mission, she was so jealous that she used the bat-computer to check where Spider's mission was supposed to be and followed them in another ship.
She wanted to show to her idol how brave she was, so maybe they will praise her and laugh like when they're with Conner, Clark and Jon.
Plus she wanted to wipe Jason's smirk off his face since he kept on bragging about going to a mission with Spider for days and how he was the favorite since compared to the rest of them, he was the one who Spider stayed the longest before leaving or throwing him off the roof.
But all her excitement and hope died the minute she heard Spider curse when they saw her, her head slowly lowering as she tried not to cry.
And when Spider told them to stay there, god she wanted to protest but strangely Jason held her back and just told her to hack in the security system to watch Spider with the cameras.
She didn't understand why she couldn't follow Spider to help them but did as Jason told her to, watching all the cameras with him and seeing henchmen getting knocked out or tased by Spider even though they weren't visible.
Plus she found it hilarious when a goon got knocked out by a flying metal tray and the others just stood there confused before also getting knocked out by a taser or a punch then getting tied up on a wall or floor.
As she watched the security feed, she noticed that Spider entered the boss's sanctuary, filled with small and useless artifacts that the Justice League used to trace the villain so they could capture him and stop him before he tried to grow his cult or summon some demon.
She kept watching and trying to find a camera inside the sanctuary, starting to get annoyed and also panicking a little because if she couldn't see anything in the sanctuary then she couldn't call for backup if something went wrong, especially by how far Spider was, and even if they were going to help them, it would take too long.
She kept on switching cameras and trying to hack into anything that was electronic, getting more frustrated as time passed since she could see the villain approaching the sanctuary with someone next to him, making her confused since he wasn't supposed to have partners that helped him.
She managed to switch a camera in time to see Joker next to the villain, the blood in her face draining as she stared at the clown on her screen in silence, her eyes wide like bugs and no sound could be heard from all three of the teens.
She went back to where Spider was and noticed a camera was on, to which Stephanie immediately tried to warn them by moving the camera a bit but it was too late and both villains entered the sanctuary and closed the door so Spider wouldn't be able to leave without getting noticed by the cultist and the clown.
She watched the feed without moving any part of her body in terror that if she even moved then the two villains would notice Spider and do something horrible to them.
She gasped when she saw Joker suddenly pulling out a gun and pointing it at where Spider was supposed to be, not managing to hear what he was saying since the cameras were old and didn't register any sounds, plus his psycho-smile made it difficult for her to read his lips so she couldn't even use that to her advantage.
As Stephanie kept watching, not noticing that she was holding her breath by how focused she was on Joker then cursed loudly when she saw the screen turn black, throwing the tablet in anger as she got up, making signs for Jason and Conner to follow as she ran into the lair.
She quickly jumped over any henchmen on the ground, needing to get to Spider immediately and save them.
She had to help. She had to stop that psychopath from hurting them. She needed to protect them.
As she ran, her vision was starting to get blurry by the tears threatening to fall as she ran. As she ran, she suddenly got blocked by the metal door that was blocking her from saving Spider.
She immediately called Conner, wanting to use his strength to open the door but unfortunately he couldn't even throw a decent punch that could leave a dent on it.
Even after a few tries Conner didn't do anything so she started to try to open it by using the panel next to the door, her frustration already growing by how useless he was.
So Stephanie sent Conner outside to call Superman and Batman while she and Jason tried to open the door as they waited for the two heroes to arrive.
As the three of them waited for Batman and Superman to come, Jason and Stephanie saw something coming out the door that made their blood cold.
Some form of gas kept on coming out the door and the only thing they were able to hear were some noises of something or someone getting hit and coughing.
Stephanie did smell the gas, trying to pinpoint what the gas was but she couldn't recognise it since the only thing she could detect was that it had a sweet smell, which was nothing like all the gasses she ever smelled before.
The only thing she knew is that the gas wasn't the usual gas Joker uses on his victims since she wasn't laughing or having a maniacal smile but she still couldn't pinpoint what the gas was.
Stephanie stayed silent, trying not to show how terrified she was while Jason was trying to kick down the door while yelling curses directed at Joker.
Conner was outside the lair to use the ship and communicate with Batman and Superman, knowing they were both on different missions and he couldn't fly to both of them to ask for help, especially since he found out that he couldn't even fly, making him even more desperate for them to come.
As they waited Stephanie tried to make Jason stop punching the door when she saw his knuckles bleed, not wanting another one of her siblings get hurt because of her incompetence before looking at the door.
The blood drained from her face, her knees giving up on her and making her fall to the ground as she heard a scream, the cold metal floor the only thing she could feel at the moment.
She knew the scream couldn't be of Joker. He heard him yell before and this scream wasn't his. She hoped for every god as she tried to hack the panel of the door, even though she already tried before, with a bit of difficulty, her vision starting to blur as tears started to fall and her hands trembling as she was trying to ignore the multiple screams she kept hearing.
She couldn't let Spider get hurt, she should've been there to help them. They didn't deserve the pain and hurt she and almost all of the Robins went through because of Joker.
She stopped when she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder, the realization that she was just messing up the wires and making it even more difficult for the door to be opened when she looked at her hands tangled in between the wires.
She looked up at the man and visibly relaxed, completely giving out on the floor as Jason helped her by cutting the wires tangled in her hands while Batman examined what was happening as Conner explained what he knew, Superman next to him and waiting for Batman to give orders since he knew that if he acted irrationally then Spider would be in danger.
(Switch to Bruce's POV)
Bruce knew he wasn't a good person and a hero like Clark and Diana, that's why he called himself a vigilante since heroes save people and stop criminals but he couldn't save everyone.
Sometimes he was too late and he couldn't save someone innocent that unfortunately crossed ways with a villain or a gang.
Another thing Bruce knew was that he wasn't the best father because he let his kids get hurt by going on patrols with him as a vigilante, not thinking about what could happen to them if they fought someone too strong or if he suddenly decided to make them stop being a vigilante by saying that it was to protect them, which made everyone sneak out to be a vigilante.
He had to bury his children too early because of vigilantism and couldn't help his son when he was being trained by the League of Assassins.
But when he saw Spider for the first time, seeing a child that looked no older than 14, maybe 15, made him think that maybe, maybe he could help this one become the best version of themselves.
And if he was good enough, he could be a father again and get another child saved from the darkness and evil that surrounds Gotham.
Even if the only evil Spider saw was him and his family.
One thing he hated was that he couldn't understand why Spider absolutely loathed him and everyone of the vigilantes who live or have lived under his roof.
He couldn't understand why and even after checking every mission he ever did that included helping kids/teens in Gotham, nothing gave him a lead as to why Spider hated him.
And the worst thing was that Spider decided, out of all the heroes and vigilantes in the world, and especially in the Justice League, to trust and get close to Clark.
To Clark! His enemy! He was supposed to be the one teaching Spider to control their strength! He was supposed to be the one laughing with them while eating hot dogs and sharing funny stories of stupid people they say during patrol.
(He knows about it thanks to a small camera he put on Clark’s costume after he found out that he and Spider got close)
He didn't trust letting them go on a mission even if Clark told him that they could and that they were ready.
He thought it was too early and that they weren't trained to fight villains like he and the others fight everyday, especially with Conner since he wasn't perfectly trained so he managed to convince Clark, with much manipulation and guilt tripping, to let Jason come with them if there was trouble.
He didn't know Stephanie would also be there, especially since he didn't talk about it in the batcave about the mission but he already guessed that Jason bragged about going so she also went to also see her idol, knowing about her obsession with Spider to which he didn't say anything but encourage it with his own obsession towards the arachnid vigilante.
Not that he minded, two of his kids were better than none and Spider needed all the protection necessary even if the mission was one of the easiest possible. Especially since he chose it as a way to make sure Spider wouldn't be in actual danger.
But the moment he got a message from Conner explaining that Spider was in danger because of Joker, someone who wasn't supposed to be there in the first place, made his world crumble as he ran to where his jet was, needing to get there as soon as possible.
He couldn't let another person, no he couldn't let Spider get hurt or worse, killed, by the clown bastard.
He needed to save them, he needed to stop that fucking clown and he couldn't let Clark beat him to it. He knew that if he was the first one to save them, to help them then they would trust him more.
He couldn't lose that huge advantage to Clark or it would be impossible to even be able to get Spider to trust him or any of his kids. Which was already difficult but he saw them being more comfortable with Duke and Jason.
He arrived almost 3 seconds before Clark did, even though the kryptonian made his presence known since he made a crater at his landing and looked extremely infuriated as he walked towards Conner.
Bruce was already next to the boy and listening to his explanation on what happened, his usual frown that always made him seem annoyed with everything since he didn't want to show that he was scared.
He listened to superboy as he explained what happened in detail as they walked in the lair, a small smile appearing on his face whenever he saw henchmen and cultists knocked out and all tied up in Spider's web.
As they walked he noticed Conner and Clark weren't flying even if the space was big enough for them to even float, so he approached the boy, knowing it couldn't be Clark since the kryptonian was flying just two seconds ago, to see if he had anything on him and saw a familiar glowing green stuck to the boy's shirt.
He quickly grabbed it and put it in a container to block its effect since he knew it was kryptonite, the result showing on both kryptonians because they now could fly again.
He showed the container containing the kryptonite when both Supers looked at him "it was on Superboy's shirt, not sure who put it on him" he explained, now confused but especially enraged to who dared to interfere with the mission and put Spider in danger.
When they arrived at the door he saw something that made him frown more but also worried. He saw Stephanie continuing to tangle her hands in the wires of the panel next to the door, probably trying to open it but he saw her shaking and sobbing, making him understand that the girl was too focused on trying to save the vigilante inside the room that she couldn't focus on the task she was doing.
He then turned to Jason and saw him kicking the door and punching it, small dents on it to show how much strength he was putting in it and his bloody knuckles showing for how long he was doing that.
Bruce quickly checked on Stephanie and Jason before telling Superman to get rid of the door, the silence around them being too suspicious and dangerous since almost 2 minutes before they arrived both Stephanie, Conner and Jason could hear screaming from inside the room.
Dividers were made by @cafekitsune so please check them out because they do amazing stuff.
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‧₊˚ ⋅ hurt — nishimura riki ‧ ˚₊‧ (PART 2)
synopsis you swore you hated him. he swore he hated you. yet, something changed when your injury brought you together in unexpected ways. as your arm healed, you couldn't ignore how Niki became increasingly attentive and drawn to you. it was a twist you both never saw coming – was it possible that he was developing feelings for the very person he considered his rival?
pairing rival!niki x fem!reader genre fluff, e2ls, hs au !
warnings implies overthinking, jealous niki
featuring danielle newjeans jungwon enhypen gunwook zerobaseone word count 3.6k+ ( 3692 words ) !
note i am so sorry to keep you guys waiting for so long, i’ve just been quite busy 😵💫 ! but, i finally finished part 2 !! tysm for all the love on part one, i really do thank you all !! it was my first written work posted on here, so i’m glad people did enjoy reading it <3 hope you enjoy the second part as well !!
— maybe, read part 1 first ?
“It's painfully obvious that they're into each other!" Danielle whisper-shouts to Jungwon beside her, sneaking a glance in your direction. Jungwon nods in agreement, both of them observing as Niki playfully doodles on your cast while you giggle.
This was far from a usual scene for Danielle and Jungwon, and they couldn't have predicted such a turn of events.
Unbeknownst to both you and Niki, your conversations continued to flow as if you were the only two people in each other's world. "You know, Ki, I have to get this cast off next week," you sigh, observing him pause one of his doodles on your cast. A faint frown appeared on his face, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.
"I was kind of getting used to you being a one-armed wonder," he remarked, earning himself a playful smack on the shoulder that left him rubbing it. "Geez, did all your arm strength go into that smack?"
"Seems like it. But seriously, my doctor says it should be healed by next week."
"I'm going to miss using your cast as my personal canvas."
"You've practically turned my cast into your own art gallery – every doodle is from you, no one else."
"That's why I do it, kind of like practicing, you know? It's become part of my daily routine," he admitted, his words partially true. Yet, there was undoubtedly more to his attachment. It was almost as if these interactions were the only way for both of you to be close. Secretly, he cherished the sight of his drawings everywhere you went.
Sometimes, he couldn't help but wonder if you thought about him when you looked at your cast. But surely, he couldn't be developing feelings for you, right? It’s just a different feeling this time–a feeling he experienced when he was finally on good terms with someone who had once been his enemy.
"I'll miss it too," you respond, your gaze fixed on the cast, appreciating all the doodles adorning it. Your feelings for him have evidently grown deep, and there's no denying that fact anymore. "But, having both arms back will definitely be good. I still need to get back at you for that one time we coincidentally ended up in the nurse's office together."
"Hey!" His chuckle is contagious, causing you to laugh as well. Unbeknownst to both of you, Danielle and Jungwon are eavesdropping, recognizing that something is brewing between you two.
"Yep, they're definitely into each other," Jungwon declares, though he sighs afterward. "But they seem like the type to stubbornly deny it afterward."
“So, how do we make them realize their feelings?”
“We both need to individually talk to them about their feelings.”
“I like the way you think, Jungwon.”
The two had never stared at a clock so intently before. Lunchtime was drawing near, yet time seemed to be crawling by. "Just a little longer," both Danielle and Jungwon thought, their anticipation growing as the hour hand inched closer to 12. When the bell finally rang, they exchanged a quick smile before rejoining their respective friends.
"Now, if you don't mind, Niki, I'll be stealing my best friend away," Danielle announced to Niki, who looked a bit puzzled but eventually nodded. Equally bewildered, you allowed Danielle to take you away, offering a small wave to Niki as you went.
Seizing the moment, Jungwon remarked with a grin, "Looks like you and YN are getting pretty close!" Niki's nod was met with an unusually wide smile from his best friend, a grin that seemed just a tad wider than usual.
"What's with that grin on your face?"
"What do you mean, Niki?"
"Your smile looks a bit strange."
"Oh, it's nothing. I just find it cute how quickly you and YN are hitting it off. Maybe a bit quicker than expected."
"Is that a problem?"
"No, it wouldn't be a problem if you'd just admit your feelings," Jungwon states matter-of-factly.
Niki comes to an abrupt stop, staring at Jungwon as if trying to process whether he actually heard what was just said. "What?"
"Your feelings for YN," Jungwon repeats.
"Come on, Jungwon, this is ridiculous. I don't have any feelings."
"Are you really sure about that?"
"Yes, I'm absolutely sure. I don't understand why you're even suggesting it."
"Fine, fine. Let's just focus on getting some food. Man, I'm starving," Jungwon sighs, sensing that pressing further won't lead anywhere good. Niki nods, his emotions a jumble, but mainly feeling confused. Why was Jungwon bringing this up all of a sudden? But, he quickly shook off these thoughts, thinking it was just another one of those weird questions he’d ask.
Despite Niki's adamant denial, you found yourself quite honest when Danielle swiftly pulled you out of the classroom. Sensing that something was wrong, you confided in her – the one who had always stood by your side. I mean, what good would it do you if you were to hide it from her?
"Yeah, Dani, I think I might actually like him. And it's kind of freaking me out." You leaned your head on her shoulder once you found a table, seeking some comfort. Danielle offered a reassuring pat on your thigh.
"Why would it be freaking you out? There's nothing wrong with it. You're just feeling uneasy because you two used to hate each other," Danielle pointed out.
"True, but it's just... I don't know, it feels strange."
"Just take your time, okay? You can figure out your feelings for him at your own pace. And who knows, maybe he's feeling the same way."
"I doubt that."
"Hey, don't be so quick to dismiss the idea if you're not sure," Danielle reassured you, her words like a comforting embrace. You hummed in response, genuinely grateful for her unwavering support. Exhaustion seemed to be creeping in, and you found yourself drifting into a light doze, the weight of the situation taking its toll. She allowed you to rest your head on her shoulder, her gaze catching Jungwon and Niki entering the room in perfect timing.
Locking eyes with Jungwon, Danielle shared a smile, a silent acknowledgment that things seemed to be progressing positively between you and your feelings. However, her smile faded slightly as she observed Jungwon's expression, suspecting that Niki might have brushed off any discussions about his feelings. While it might take some time, both Danielle and Jungwon were determined to help bring you and Niki closer.
But five days had since passed, and in the classroom, Jungwon and Danielle were discreetly passing notes, sharing their frustrations and plans regarding your future connection with Niki.
"What should we do, Danielle? Our plans haven't been successful," Jungwon scribbles on a piece of paper, passing it to Danielle beside him. He observes her thoughtful expression as she contemplates a response, then watches as she swiftly writes something down and passes the note back to him. Unfolding the paper, he lets out a small sigh as he reads her words.
"I'm not sure..." Jungwon begins to write a reply, but the teacher's voice cuts through their note exchange, startling them slightly. Were they caught? Were they going to be asked to walk to the front? Anxious glances are exchanged, and the two of them look around, only to spot a new student entering the room.
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet our new student, Park Gunwook," the teacher announces. As the shy smile of the newcomer meets the class's greeting, a lightbulb seems to go off in both Danielle and Jungwon's minds. They exchange a knowing glance.
"Let's make Niki jealous."
The universe seemed to be on their side, as the teacher asked Danielle to remind you that you had to tour Gunwook around the school. Not surprised, Danielle sees you with Niki again, distracted in your own conversation with him.
“YN!” Her voice catches your attention, which makes you look her way. Giving her an eyebrow raise, you see her pointing at Gunwook, who had a shy smile on his face. You soon exclaimed, soon realizing what you had to do.
“Oh right! Sorry Niki–I have to help give a tour to the new student.”
“Who?” Niki looked at Danielle’s direction, seeing her and Gunwook together. “Gunwook?”
“Yeah–you weren’t paying attention to what the teacher said to me, did you?”
“Not really,” He pretended to shrug it off. “Why can’t Danielle do it?”
“Well, too late. I already took up the offer. So, see you later?”
“Yeah. See you,” He said as you walked off, watching Gunwook’s smile become wider when you walked by his side. Yeah, Niki did not like that new guy. Not even one bit. Scoffing, Niki reaches for his phone, hoping to distract himself.
“Someone looks mad,” Danielle soon took a seat by his side, soon realizing the change in his behavior.
“Mad about what?”
“Mad about YN leaving with this new guy.”
“It’s just a tour after all.”
“Just a tour,” Danielle couldn’t help but chuckle, but soon stopped by Niki’s sudden glare. “Could be a tour where they get to become friends.”
“What does that have to do with me?” Niki brushes it off, although he wasn’t quite pleased with what Danielle said. “She can do whatever she wants.”
“Sure, Niki. Whatever she wants.”
Walking back from the vending machine with his strawberry milk in hand, Niki's steps faltered as he caught sight of you engaged in a seemingly cheerful conversation with Gunwook. His gaze lingered on the scene for a moment, a mix of emotions swirling within him. A tinge of jealousy gnawed at his chest, but he quickly pushed it aside, reminding himself that he had no right to feel that way.
He took a deep breath and continued walking, forcing himself to focus on his drink and avoid any unnecessary overthinking. Who was he to overthink the situation anyways?
"What's the big deal about him?" Niki's gaze hardened as he observed the two of you, his grip on his strawberry milk tightening. “Surely he can’t be that fun to talk to.” Jungwon couldn't help but let out a chuckle, but his amusement quickly faded when Niki's glare landed on him.
"Feeling a bit jealous, are we?" Jungwon teased.
"Jealous? Don't be ridiculous."
"Then why does it bother you so much? Come on, don't tell me you're clueless about this," Jungwon shot back, taking a casual sip from his drink. "They do seem to have some chemistry, if you ask me."
Niki's frustration was evident as his jaw clenched. He was grappling with emotions he couldn't quite define. The idea of you being with someone else didn't sit well with him, but he wasn't about to admit that openly.
"Whose side are you on, anyway?"
Jungwon flashed a knowing smile. "I'm on the side of the truth. And it's pretty obvious you're feeling something for her."
“Feelings?”
Jungwon raised an eyebrow at Niki's sudden change in tone. “Yeah, yours, you idiot. Why did you become so attached to YN? Weren’t you two rivals before? What changed?” Jungwon asked, soon shushing Niki with his finger. “Don’t answer that—you have feelings for her. That’s why. Isn’t it obvious?”
Niki huffed, clearly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. He took a deep sip of his strawberry milk, as if trying to drown out his own thoughts. "You're reading too much into it.”
“That’s all you have to say?” Jungwon's fingers latched onto Niki's ear, causing him to wince in discomfort. Amid his struggle to free himself from Jungwon's grip, Niki abandoned the grip he had on his strawberry milk.
"Jungwon, cut it out! Seriously, I'm not sure if I even... ow! Ow! Fine, fine! I do... ow! Will you let go already?" Niki's voice swung between irritation and a hint of resignation as he massaged his ear once Jungwon finally released it, his scowl directed at his persistent friend.
Jungwon smirked, a triumphant glint in his eyes. "See? Admitting it isn't that bad, is it?"
Niki huffed, his cheeks slightly flushed from a mix of frustration and embarrassment. "Don't get too smug about it. And you better not tell anyone else, got it?"
"You have my word, my secretive friend." Jungwon's grin only grew wider, relishing in the small victory of nudging Niki to confront his feelings, even if it had involved a bit of ear-tugging persuasion.
Now, Jungwon just needed to find a way to convince him to confess his feelings. Texting Danielle immediately, it was time to put part two to the plan in action.
“Why is he here?” Niki whispered softly into Jungwon’s ear, raising his eyebrow at you and Gunwook sitting down together, laughing at each other.
“Cause he is our friend now!” Jungwon said with a big smile, pleased with the frown placed on Niki’s face. Danielle seemed to notice the two before you did, giving a way. Jungwon waved enthusiastically, while Niki gave a small one. Did you not notice him walking into the mall too?
“Hey!” Danielle called out, which finally drew your attention to Jungwon and Niki approaching. You acknowledged them, waving and giving Niki a smile, which brought a hint of color to his cheeks. He guessed that if you were here, then it was okay for Gunwook to join too.
Soon, you and the rest of the group decided to explore random stores in the mall, browsing through clothes, snacks, and everything in between. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, chatting and laughing as they moved from one store to another. At least, that’s what you thought, while Niki felt differently.
Niki could sense that you and Gunwook were growing closer, which bothered him more than he'd like to admit. He couldn't understand why Danielle seemed so unconcerned about the two of you spending more time together, and it baffled him even more that Jungwon wasn't worried. After all, Jungwon had been the one who forced Niki to confess his feelings for you to him, yet he wasn't doing anything or even encouraging him to take action.
However, Niki tried to ignore his thoughts, but he couldn’t shake the twinge of jealousy that tugged at him every time you and Gunwook shared a laugh or whispered to each other. He trailed slightly behind, trying to focus on Jungwon and Danielle's conversation, but his attention kept drifting back to you.
Eventually, you all found a table at the food court, settling down before deciding on what to eat. “Should we just get popcorn chicken? I’m not that hungry,” Danielle suggested, and everyone agreed.
“That sounds good. I can go buy them—just watch over my stuff,” you offered, standing up to make the purchase. Niki noticed Gunwook about to rise from his seat to join you, something he definitely didn't want to happen. Acting on impulse, Niki quickly stood up. “I’ll go with you, Y/N.”
“Huh? Oh—sure!” you replied, a bit surprised. Gunwook also seemed taken aback by Niki’s sudden eagerness, and he slowly sat back down.
As you and Niki walked together toward the food stall, he tried to relax and focus on enjoying your company. “You two seem to have gotten close, huh?” Niki ventured, hoping to find answers to his own thoughts.
“Oh, with Gunwook?” you replied thoughtfully. “He’s been texting me more lately, so I’m more comfortable with him now, even though I don’t hang out with him much during school hours and such.”
“So, you want to hang out with him more during school hours too?” Niki asked, sounding slightly defeated as he jumped to conclusions.
You looked at him, confused, which snapped him out of his thoughts. “I wouldn’t mind it, but I’d prefer spending time with you, Danielle, and Jungwon. After all, we are closer, don’t you think?”
Niki nodded in response, feeling both relieved and uneasy. He would have been more content if you hadn’t mentioned the first part, but he’d take what he could get for now.
It wasn’t long before the two of you returned to the rest of the group, finished up your food, and decided to head to the arcade. Even with your reassuring words, the comfort they gave Niki was fleeting. As soon as you arrived at the arcade, Gunwook seemed to cling to you more than ever, almost as if he was doing it on purpose.
Niki hated being apart from you and found it hard to shake the feeling of jealousy that gnawed at him. It had been a long time since Niki had disliked someone this much.
Much to his dislike, Danielle and Jungwon seemed to catch onto Niki and Gunwook’s behavior. They whispered among themselves and managed to distract Gunwook, leaving you and Niki alone for a moment.
You and Niki were at the claw machines, and you cheered him on as he focused on getting a duck plush. “Come on, Niki, I know you’re good at these!”
“Yeah, I should be better than Gunwook,” he blurted out before panicking internally and trying to concentrate on the prize in front of him.
If he didn’t say anything about it, you’d— “Huh? What about Gunwook?”
Niki laughed it off nervously, saying, “You seem to be having a great time with Gunwook today, so I figured he’d be trying his hand at the claw machines too and showing off his skills, you know.”
“Are you trying to say you’ll be better than Gunwook at this?”
“I am better at this than him—just watch, I’ll impress you,” Niki said, pressing his lips together in concentration. He let out a muffled sound of despair as the plush dropped again.
You watched Niki with growing amusement, starting to connect the pieces. His comments about Gunwook, his sudden eagerness to join you at the food stall, and the way he seemed on edge whenever Gunwook was around—everything pointed to one conclusion. Instead of feeling confused, you felt flustered, realizing that Niki might be jealous of Gunwook.
“Niki,” you said softly, trying to hide your smile, “you don’t have to impress me. I already think you’re amazing.”
Niki paused, glancing at you with a hint of surprise in his eyes. “Really?” he asked, his voice laced with uncertainty.
“Yeah,” you nodded, feeling your cheeks getting warm. “So instead of trying to impress me with a claw machine, why don’t you tell me how you really feel?”
Niki hesitated, looking down at his shoes for a moment before meeting your eyes again. There was a vulnerability in his expression that you hadn’t seen before, a mix of uncertainty and hope.
“I…” He took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. “I guess I’ve been a little jealous today. I didn’t like seeing Gunwook so close to you, and it made me realize how much I care about you.”
You smiled softly, appreciating his honesty. “I kind of thought so,” you admitted. “And for what it’s worth, I really like spending time with you, too.”
A small smile crept onto Niki’s face, relief washing over him. “I’m glad to hear that,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
You both stood there for a moment, the noise of the arcade fading into the background.
With the silence hanging between you, Niki cleared his throat, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He turned his attention back to the claw machine, his determination renewed as he focused on winning the duck plush.
“I’m going to get this for you,” he declared, a hint of playful defiance in his voice. “Not because I’m trying to impress you, but because I want to.”
You chuckled softly, watching him maneuver the claw with renewed focus. “No pressure, but I have faith in you,” you teased, leaning closer to the machine.
He finally managed to win the duck plush, pulling it from the machine with a triumphant grin. “Well, then,” he said, offering it to you with a shy smile, “this is for you.”
"Thank you, Niki," you smiled, hugging the plush to your chest. Continuing to tease him, you added, "So, I'm taking this as your way of saying 'I like you' indirectly, hm?"
Niki's eyes widened slightly, and he rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks turning an even deeper shade of red. “Don’t get ahead of yourself…”
“Oh? So, you’re fine with me going back to Gunwook?” you teased, raising an eyebrow playfully.
“Hey, don’t say that,” Niki glared. “Fine, I like you a lot. More than I could’ve imagined.” he admitted with a shy smile. “So, there’s no way I’m letting Gunwook win you over.”
You smiled, “I was just kidding, anyway. I only ever had eyes on you.”
“Really?” he said, sounding both confused and relieved that you felt the same way all along.
“Why do you think I asked you to get me that duck plush, huh?”
“Why?”
“Because it reminds me of you. That’s why I wanted you to get it, so it could mean even more.”
“Really? I look like that duck?” He pointed at the plush in your hand, showing a mock disgusted expression, which made you laugh.
“Of course!” you replied with a playful grin.
“I think we could’ve gotten a better…representation. Maybe something cooler?” Niki pestered.
“Whatever you say, you’ll still forever look like a duck to me,” you shrugged. “The duck is cute, and you’re cute too.
Niki chuckled, shaking his head. “You have a weird way of saying you like me too.”
“Well, if that didn’t come off too clear—I like you more, Niki.”
“Now, if you really liked me, you would totally associate me with a cooler animal, wouldn’t you?” Niki jokes.
“Hmm, I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” you chuckled. “But for now, you definitely suit this adorable duck. Now, come on, let’s go meet up with the rest.” With a playful grin, you grabbed his hand and tugged him along, holding onto the duck plush that now symbolized him in your eyes.
Niki playfully rolled his eyes, but soon a sheepish grin spread across his face. He was willing to go along with whatever you said or wanted; being with you felt perfect, and he hoped moments like these would last forever.
( thank you for joining >< ) @cha3w0n-hearts @k1ttylvr @feitem @honey-bunnysweet
#📁 — feis works !#enhypen#enhypen niki#enhypen ff#enhypen x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen headcanons#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#enhypen x you#enhypen fanfic#enhypen fluff#niki ff#niki x reader#niki headcanons#niki scenarios#niki imagines#niki x you#niki fanfic#niki fanfiction#kpop ff#kpop x reader#kpop headcanons#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#kpop fanfic#kpop#kpop fluff#kpop fanfiction#kpop x you
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Agency Assignments: A comprehensive to-do list for saving Dead Boy Detectives!
I'm very easily overwhelmed, so I wanted to break down all the ways to help "Save Dead Boy Detectives" that I have seen floating around. This is meant to be something you can reference when you feel like there is so much you need and want to do to help, but don't know how or where to start.
Note: I will be updating this post as we go when necessary, so feel free to bookmark it in your browser for easy access, add it to your homepage, whatever! I'll always have a link to it in my Pinned Navigation post on my blog as well!
It is of the utmost importance that we fight as an organized, well-informed front. We need to be on the same page if we're going to save our show, so let's get into it! 💜💀🔎
➪ First and foremost, follow @savethedeadboys! They're going to be our best resource during this fight.
➪ Next, follow @deadboyagency for news and updates: they've been around since the show dropped and have been an invaluable source of information the entire time.
Now for some task breakdowns:
"One-Time" Tasks
➪ Like the header says, these things can only be done once. Once you do them, you don't have to give them any space in your mind.
Sign the petition*
Review & Rate Dead Boy Detectives on Google, IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes. Be sure on IMDB you don't just rate the show as a whole, but you also rate each individual episode! You can also "Like" the show on Google and click "Watched" which helps the show's engagement scores. (If there are other popular sites I haven't listed here, feel free to share them and rate Dead Boy Detectives highly on them!)
Notify Netflix customer service (through their online chat feature) that you're unhappy with the cancelation of Dead Boy Detectives. This is a short, 5-minute task that I wrote a guide on (with an example message) here!
"Repeat" Tasks:
➪ These tasks can become a part of your daily routine; do what works best for you! You don't have to do every single one of these tasks every day if that is overwhelming!
Share the petition* over and over again, on every one of your socials! Make everyone you love sign it!
Stream Dead Boy Detectives!* Keep it on a loop in the background on low volume as much as possible. Try to get others to stream it as well, especially if they haven't watched it before! Netflix cares about VIEWS: views save shows and I broke down the reasoning here. (Bonus: if you post over on Twitter about your rewatch, use the tag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives)
Talk about Dead Boy Detectives!* You're probably doing that already, but just be sure that you're tagging your posts. Here on Tumblr use the "Dead Boy Detectives" tag at least (to boost our tag to trending) and anywhere that uses hashtags (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram for example) I would recommend #SaveDeadBoyDetectives and #DeadBoyDetectives as those seem to be the most commonly used tags! IMPORTANT: do not use more than 20 tags here on Tumblr! Any more than 20 and your posts might be marked as spam and hidden from the tags!
Create art, edits for TikTok, fics, gif sets, doodles, crafts, analysis posts, and so on for Dead Boy Detectives.* Having fun is important, too! This is an extension of the "Talk about Dead Boy Detectives" point, but it needs to be stated - don't remove the joy from the fight. If a drawing of our boys or a smutty fic with your favorite trickster cat king is what you can bring to the fight on any given day, that is a perfectly valuable contribution! It's not all emails and hashtags.
Daily request a show through Netflix. Bonus if you're signed in! (I do 3-5 times a day)
Send Emails advocating for Dead Boy Detectives (Email list & Email Template). You can do this as much as you want or just one time.
Send Snail-mail (physical letters) to Netflix advocating for Dead Boy Detectives. I also send a copy of my letters to Warner Bros. Studios. Again, you can do this one time or multiple times. There are dates set aside for "mass" mail sending as well, so check out info on that here!
Interact with articles posted about Dead Boy Detectives. Read them, share them, comment on them, thank the writer for writing them, etc. We want lots of press about the cancellation, and supporting journalists and publications will make them want to write about Dead Boy Detectives more.
NOTE: Anything marked with a * means it's extremely important; if you can only do a few things, these tasks are the ones that you should focus on first. Remember to take care of yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint, so don't burn yourself out!
WE WILL SAVE THIS SHOW.
Say that to yourself as many times as it takes for you to believe it. We're doing this to get justice for the writers, the actors, for ourselves, and assert to these companies that diverse, queer stories are not disposable one-offs; they deserve to be told in full!
Hugs and Handshakes to you all - whatever will suffice. 💜 Always feel free to reach out if you have any questions, whether that be through private message or my ask box. I'm not going anywhere!
- V
#As promised! Sorry it took me longer than I originally anticipated. If I msised something please let me know!#dead boy detectives#dbda#save dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#dbda netflix#the dead boy detective agency#monty finch#esther finch#the cat king#the night nurse#dead boy detectives netflix#the dead boy detectives#jenny green#dbda resources#dbda task list
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Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 400!!!
Well then.
Thanks to everyone for all the love and support, genuinely one of the biggest reasons I still continue doing this daily. You all are amazing :)
And thank you for 2.3k!!!
…I don’t really know what else to say at this point lol???? I’ve been doing this so long these milestones are starting to become less and less exciting. /lh
I’ll be honest I was really banking on Silksong being released in 2023 I genuinely wasn’t expecting to make it more than 250 days tbh. But hey, I guess I was joining the delusional crowd with that one lol. I just really hope Silksong releases this year or at least we get a confirmed release date at all???? All this waiting is starting to feel like kingdom hearts 3 all over again
Well anyway, here’s my 100 day checkup I guess:
Burnout has been wavering in and out I think. I’m not putting in effort like I used to during the day 150-250 period of this blog but hey the fact that I’m still dedicating a brain cell to this at all is impressive to me. Generally speaking I’m not a person who likes to commit themselves to something for more than a year unless I absolutely have to. I could literally take a break from this blog whenever I want but it’s been such a consistent part of my daily routine that I just haven’t lol.
I’ve been debating back and forth with myself on whether or not I want to have a couple people helping out with the blog. On one hand it would be really nice to have a helping hand so I could take more consistent breaks but on the other hand I’ve never been good at communication especially because organizing something like that is wayyyy out of my comfort zone. I run my blog a very specific way and I’m often bad at explaining my process to others without something getting misunderstood.
So I’m thinking up a few other ideas as well. Don’t feel like going into specifics because I’m not certain on them at all but if I feel like one works I’ll talk about it more in the future here or on my main blog.
Life has been really busy lately but after a long time I think I might finally have time to dedicate a full day to drawing multiple doodles so I can mass schedule and take a longer break I think. No promises on that but here’s to hoping.
Oh yeah also today’s specific drawing is inspired by Day 174. Also considered a redraw I guess??
That’s all I can think to say right now, so I guess that’s everything, thanks for reading! Here’s to more doodles! :)
#hollow knight#silksong#hk hornet#hollow knight hornet#silksong hornet#hk ghost#the knight#silksongeveryday#hk hollow#ssed asks#hk hollow knight#the hollow knight#hk the hollow knight#hollow knight ghost#hollow knight fanart#hk fanart#ssed
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Finishing Strong: A Guide to Ending the Year with Intention
Hello Beautiful,
As we enter the final quarter of the year, it’s time to reassess, realign, and step into our power. For the high-achieving woman, Q4 is the perfect opportunity to manifest abundance, success, and peace. The last stretch of the year can be incredibly transformative if you take the time to focus on intentional growth and clarity. This guide will help you make the most of it.
Vision Boarding: Your Visual Blueprint for Success
A vision board is more than just a collection of inspiring images— it’s a visual roadmap to your goals. As the year draws to a close, this tool can help you stay aligned with your deepest desires and prevent distractions from trends that may not serve your higher purpose.
Why Vision Boarding Works:
Clarifies intentions: Visualizing your goals helps solidify them in your mind.
Amplifies focus: It’s easier to stay on track when you can see success every day.
Boosts motivation: A visual reminder reignites passion when the journey gets tough.
Tracks progress: As you achieve goals, you can reflect on how far you’ve come.
Encourages self-reflection: It’s a tool for assessing what truly matters to you, even as life shifts.
How to Create an Inspiring Vision Board:
Set your intentions: Before you begin, ask yourself what you truly want to manifest in the final months of the year. Be specific. Is it financial abundance? Career growth? Deeper self-love?
Gather visuals: Find images, quotes, and affirmations that align with your intentions. These can come from magazines, online, or even personal photographs that symbolize your goals.
Display with purpose: Place your vision board somewhere you’ll see it daily. It could be your workspace, bedroom, or even your phone wallpaper—wherever it can regularly inspire you.
Review regularly: As the quarter progresses, check in with your board. Adjust it as needed, whether adding new goals or removing old ones.
Vision boarding is not just about aesthetics; it’s a way to stay grounded in your purpose and connected to your inner desires. This practice empowers you to remain authentic and committed to meaningful objectives, ensuring you don’t stray from your path as the year winds down.
Journaling for Clarity: Unlocking Your True Potential
Along with vision boarding, journaling is an essential practice for self-discovery and personal growth. It allows you to access your innermost thoughts, uncover desires, and identify areas where you need to pivot or push harder.
The Benefits of Journaling for Clarity:
Fosters self-awareness: Writing helps you process emotions and ideas, leading to deeper understanding.
Refines your objectives: Journaling can reveal what’s most important to you, helping to prioritize goals.
Uncovers hidden strengths: Often, we don’t recognize our capabilities until we reflect on them through writing.
Helps you strategize: By identifying potential obstacles, you can develop plans to overcome them.
Enhances focus and motivation: Regular journaling keeps your objectives clear, making it easier to stay disciplined.
Journaling Prompts for a Powerful Q4:
What do I want to achieve by the end of this year?
What obstacles have held me back in the past, and how can I overcome them?
What are my strengths, and how can I leverage them to reach my goals?
How do I want to feel when I look back on this year in December?
What am I grateful for right now, and how can I use that energy to propel me forward?
When you make journaling a part of your daily routine, you create space for clarity and creativity. This practice is especially powerful for manifesting success and growth because it fosters a mindset of continuous self-improvement and reflection.
Mindset Shifts: The Power of Affirmations and Mental Resets
The final quarter is not just about working toward your goals but also about transforming your mindset to support your journey. Affirmations and mental resets are two key strategies for doing this.
Why Mindset Matters:
Success isn’t just about hard work; it’s about believing you are worthy of the results. Affirmations are a daily tool to remind yourself of your power and potential. Whether you say them in front of a mirror or write them in your journal, affirmations help shift limiting beliefs into empowering ones.
Examples of Affirmations for a Powerful Q4:
I am deserving of all the abundance that is coming my way.
I am capable of achieving everything I set my mind to.
I am worthy of success, love, and happiness.
I trust the process and know that everything is unfolding for my highest good.
I release any doubts and embrace my power fully.
Daily mental resets can also help you stay grounded when challenges arise. These can be as simple as taking a few deep breaths, practicing meditation, or taking a short walk to clear your mind. By intentionally resetting, you can approach tasks with renewed energy and focus.
As the year draws to a close, the fourth quarter provides an opportunity for reflection, growth, and manifestation. Whether through vision boarding, journaling, or affirmations, reclaim your power and finish the year with intention.
How are you planning to end the year with intention? Share your goals and insights below!
Check out our Instagram & Facebook for more!
#highvaluewomen#black femininity#high maintenance#journal prompts#vision boards#affirmations#leveled up mindset#monthly reset#hypergamy#self care#level up journey#hbfsociety#planners#Q4Reset#hypergamous lifestyle#blackfemininewomen#black girl luxury#highmaintenance#blackselfcare#dream girl journey
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“What surprise awaits me today?” Hero leans against the bars of Villain’s cell, smiling. It’s their daily ritual, something Villain hates to admit they always look forward to. Hero is kind to them.
“You have such high expectations of me. You guilt me delivering them.”
“And you never disappoint.” Hero drops their head to meet Villain’s eyes from outside the cell. Villain smirks like they’re sharing a secret.
They hate that this is the happiest they’ve ever been—behind bars, swooning at the attention of the hero who put them there.
Villain retreats to a small desk in the corner of their cell. It’s littered with graphite drawings, a privilege granted for ‘good behavior.’ Villain scoffs at the irony, but decides not to challenge it.
They return to the bars, slipping a choice drawing through. Their fingers brush against Hero’s as the drawing is passed along. It’s calculated, Villain knows it. Just like the visits—a prescription to keep them from going off the rails and trying to escape. Villain swallows the medicine.
“Beautiful. As always.” It’s a landscape. A recreation of something they sketched years earlier. Hero seems pleased.
Emboldened by their reaction, Villain tests, “When do I get a surprise from you?”
Hero is nothing if not generous. They play along. “If I told you, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise, would it?”
“Give me a hint?” Villain sets a hand on the bar, They shift their weight so the motion is hidden from a security camera in the corner.
Hero isn’t phased by the gesture. “What would you want from me anyways?”
“Hm…” Villain trails. “Something genuine. Something beautiful. That’s what my art is to you, isn’t it? You should return the favor one of these days.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
For a moment, Hero’s hand finds Villain’s against the metal cell before they leave. Villain knows their routine by heart. They know Hero will never return their affections unless they need information or expertise out of them. But they’re content to play along, bask in a bit of that attention.
Villain believes Hero is kind. But at night, Villain does everything to squash the fractional piece of their heart that believes Hero cares for them.
Hero appears outside Villain’s cell late one afternoon.
“Where’ve you been?” Villain asks, approaching the bars. “It’s nearly dark. I thought you might’ve forgotten about me.” They keep their voice light, agreeable.
“I’d never. I just needed to prepare something.”
Villain crosses their arms. “And do I get to know what that is?”
Hero is beaming. “Of course. I tell you all my secrets.” Liar. “Come here.”
Villain indulges them and steps forward. Before they know it, Hero grips their arms and pulls them close. They embrace through the bars of the cell. Villain’s stomach plunges and their eyes dart towards the security camera.
“What are you—“
“I’m looping the footage. We should have about five minutes before it goes back to normal.”
Villain focuses on Hero. “Are you crazy? What the fuck are you—“
“You wanted a surprise,” Hero interrupts. They grip Villain’s side, steadying them. “How’s this for one?”
Hero’s lips crash against Villain’s before they can comprehend the fingers lacing through their hair. They can’t believe this is happening. They give into the desire they’ve been fighting since their first battle with Hero.
They part slowly. Villain keeps their gaze low. “Why did you do that?” They mutter.
“I’ve been thinking about doing it for a while.”
Rationally, Villain knows it’s not the best idea to trust a hero. “We’re enemies. You put me in prison.”
Hero grins. “But, you have to admit. Now we get to see each other more often!”
Despite everything, Villain can’t deny the gesture. “You’re insane.”
“You know, we still have four minutes. Care to do it again?” With a nod from Villain, Hero takes the lead and connects their lips again.
Villain supposes they can figure out what this means for their relationship tomorrow.
—
snippet #12
#hero x villain#hero x villan#heroes#heroes and villains#heroes x villains#spilled ink#villain x hero#villains#writeblr#writers on tumblr#hero x villain community#fluff#heroxvillain#villains and heroes#villain and hero
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“White Lace,” {v.s}
Summary: it’s laundry day on the Merry, and ever the gentleman, Sanji offered to take Nami’s place when the navigator explained that she was too exhausted to attend to the chore. Sanji expected to simply find a sore back and pruny fingers by doing so, but instead he found much more…
Or: Sanji finds a pair of your white lace underwear, and you catch him in the middle of washing them, resulting in some tension and embarrassment between the both of you.
Genre: spice (no smut, but dirty thoughts and suggestive themes)
Pairing: Sanji x fem!reader
Word Count: 2.8k
Requested: ❌
Warnings: I kinda feel this could fall under voyeurism to an extent, because Sanji does find a pair of your panties and kind of like plays with them, so maybe it does? Idk. Some rather not-so-innocent thoughts from Sanji, sexualization, very slight virginity kink if you squint really hard, panty sniffing, panty licking, sexual tension(ish?), female pronouns and parts mentioned
A/n: so I’ve got roughly 10+ things in my drafts right now but this literally WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE, so I knew I had to write it. I hope you hoes enjoy ❤️ might do a part 2 idkkkk. 18+ under the cut, ye have been warned.
{=================================}
Sanji found comfort in routine. For some, a humdrum life would become quickly boring, but for Sanji repetition was key to his sanity. It was the main reason that Sanji was so fluidly quick in creating a new routine from the first day he’d agreed to set sail with Luffy — that and that it had helped cure the insistent anxiety of being at sea again after so many years of remaining stationary.
Sanji greatly disliked breaking routine unless the situation absolutely called for it; a battle, for example, or in this morning’s case, a beautiful woman asking him for help.
Sanji enjoyed routine, but he enjoyed satisfying women a lot more.
So when Nami had entered the galley, hair mussed and eyes hazy and unfocused with a small basket of laundry perched delicately on her hip, Sanji was quick to abandon the first step of his daily routine (taking inventory of the galley stock) and pluck the basket from her arm.
Nami sighed gratefully and her shoulders slumped with relief.
“Thanks, Sanji.” Nami muttered, voice heavy with exhaustion, and Sanji felt his heart lurch with sympathy. It wasn’t as though he was a stranger to fatigue.
“I spent most of the night drawing the charts to the next few islands. I guess I got so wrapped up in it I just hadn’t noticed how much time had passed.”
Sanji nodded along to her explanation as he gently set the basket of clothes atop the island counter, and in the process he inadvertently let his eyes skim across the articles within. Colors popped against one another, like a cluttered rainbow of pinks, blues, whites, reds, and teals — from what Sanji could see they were mostly shirts.
“Laundry day, aye?” Sanji asked conversationally, tearing his eyes from the basket to smile at Nami. She groaned and brought a hand up to massage the back of her neck as she nodded.
“Yeah. There’s a few of my shirts in there, but it’s mostly (Y/N)’s clothes. She washed mine last week, so I agreed to wash hers this week.”
Sanji frowned and appraised the tired woman before him; it pained him to see a woman like Nami having to work so hard. He’d always felt that life at sea, what with so much to maintain, was far too harsh for a lady — ladies were meant to be spoiled and taken care of, at least in Sanji’s eyes. Nami had chosen a life at sea, and Sanji knew that with this decision she’d long accepted the responsibilities of such, and he had no doubt that Nami could handle it, but if Sanji could do something to help relieve her of some of the work he would.
“I can take care of it for you, if you want.” Sanji said, and Nami’s eyes snapped open. She looked equal parts relieved and panicked by his offer, and she hesitated for a moment before shaking her head.
“No, Sanji, I couldn’t ask that of you. You’ve already got enough on your plate.” Nami murmured, and then, as if it were an afterthought, she added, “we all do.”
Sanji rolled his shoulders in dismissal of her worry. “You’re not asking, love. I’m offering. And I’m not too terribly busy; it’s still early, so I’ll have plenty of time to prep breakfast before Luffy wakes up.”
Nami bit her lip, and she looked minutely closer to accepting the offer, but there was still a hardened hesitation in her eyes. Sanji smiled ever gently at her.
“It’s alright, Nami. Why not go back to your quarters and rest for a bit? I’ll take care of this.”
Finally, Nami sighed and relented to acceptance. With a small but grateful nod, she gave Sanji a tired smile before turning on her heel to exit the galley; before she did so, she placed a manicured hand against the door frame and sent him one last glance.
“Really, Sanji, thank you. Once you’re done washing them you don’t have to worry about hanging them to dry; just come get me and I’ll do that.” And with that Nami breezed from the galley, and Sanji gave a small chuckle at her attempt to take some of the load off of him. Even if it was Nami’s turn to do the laundry as was her responsibility, Sanji wouldn’t allow her to set them to dry — he’d do that himself, as well; and he even set it in his mind that he’d fold them as well.
It wasn’t until Sanji pulled out the first shirt that he began to feel as though he shouldn’t have offered his help; because the fabric in his hand was familiar, and it dawned on him that the majority of the clothes in the basket were yours. It was a detail that Sanji had skimmed by when Nami was explaining the situation, and now the reality of it was hitting him like a ton of bricks.
Sanji’s skin prickled as if he were committing the most atrocious sin, and he had to take a deep breath to calm himself. The shirt in his hand was one of your favorites; you’d worn it a lot, and just looking at the rumpled article supplied Sanji with various memories of you donning it. It looked rather pleasant on you, especially when the hem of it rose slightly to reveal the smallest sliver of skin when you moved in just the right way, and Sanji had to quickly place it back in the basket and take a deep inhale to staunch the blood flowing towards his groin.
Sanji’s attraction to you was something that he vaguely felt might be out of hand; he was a lover of women, yes, but never had he experienced a pull as strong as the one he had towards you. Maybe it was the way innocence practically poured from your aura, or the way your cheeks brightened with any pet name or compliment he offered you, as if such attention was a completely new experience for you — whatever it was, it was highly alluring to Sanji, and he found himself wanting more and more of it – of you – every day.
Sanji flared his nostrils a few more times, every breath deep and steadying, repeatedly telling himself that he wasn’t doing anything wrong and his intentions were of the best, and to get a fucking grip, Sanji. Just wash the clothes and be normal!
As he relocated the basket next to the sink and pulled out a pale yellow shirt Sanji deliberately tried to focus his thoughts on anything other than the fact that he was touching your clothes, that you’d worn them and they’d clung to your skin and more than likely smelled of you, of that wonderful floral perfume that was subtle but nearly overpowering in close proximity — that thought alone had Sanji itching to bring the fabric to his nose and inhale, and he had to quickly turn the faucet on and shove the article beneath the stream of water to avoid doing so.
Piece by piece, mechanically and as empty headed as possible, Sanji soaked and washed the clothes under the stream of water, wringing each article out generously to avoid the chance of mildew. By the time he was half way through the basket, Sanji felt confident that he could get through the process without too much trouble (or too many inappropriate thoughts or southward flowing blood); but that was quickly wiped from his psyche when he mindlessly groped within the basket and laid touch to something soft and small and lacy.
Upon pulling it out to examine it, Sanji was hit with a flush of arousal so strong that it nearly knocked him off his feet; gripped within his fingers, soft and lacy and so, so delicate looking, was a pair of white, sheer panties. Sanji’s entire being short circuited, train of thought screeching to a halt and brain being instead assaulted by a myriad of images — of those sheer white panties clinging to your hips, cupping the swell of your ass in such a tantalizing way, hem resting against your tummy and rising in time with your labored breaths as Sanji picked you apart molecule by molecule —
“Stop,” Sanji hissed to himself, cursing his traitorous dick when it hardened to half mast in his dress pants, twitching in approval with each new image and thought that flashed into his hind brain. Sanji knew he should look away, knew he could stop these reactions if he just put the panties away, abandoned the task and fetched Nami instead to finish it — and though Sanji swore to himself that he wouldn’t do that due to his pride as a gentleman, the deepest part of him knew that he wasn’t going to do it because he was curious, and he was enjoying this, as much as that fact ashamed him.
Panties were one of the most, if not the most, intimate articles of clothing a woman could wear; they covered the sweetest fruit, kept it protected and out of sight, and they constantly shifted and hugged that sensitive pearl beneath. They were precious, and the fact that they belonged to you made them even more so.
Sanji nearly groaned at the thought; he could so clearly see you wearing the panties, see the way they hugged against your pussy, could imagine just how drenched the center would get as he worked you into oblivion with his lips —
Sanji opened the panties and this time, a groan did slip past his lips — because right there, in the center of the bridge of the panties, right where they would cling to your pussy, the fabric was slightly darker, and Sanji’s dick jumped at the sight. The overwhelming urge to shove them against his nose and breathe in the phantom traces of your slick sent alternating waves of arousal and intense shame through Sanji, because that was dirty, these panties were dirty, they were yours and it would be such an abuse of your trust in him if he did something like that — but the longer he stared, the stronger the urge became, and soon enough arousal had completely consumed shame, and Sanji quickly brought the panties to his face, shoving his nose directly into the center and inhaling. Sanji panted heavily against the fabric as the sweet scent entered his nostrils; it was faint, as he’d assumed it would be, but it was there, and it was so much sweeter than Sanji could have ever imagined.
Sanji pressed his hips into the counter as he took in lungfuls of your scent, hissing lowly at the pressure against the straining bulge in his pants, hips moving just so to chase a semblance of friction — consumed by sudden lust and the thought of you, the scent of you, and the urge to taste where you were sweetest, Sanji laved his tongue against the dried patch of slick, moaning haughtily into the softness of your panties.
Sanji’s surroundings and reality seemed to completely melt away as he lost himself within the sensations of smelling and tasting you, something he so longed for — just as much as he longed to corrupt you, to show you all the naughty things he shouldn’t, like he longed to see you wearing these panties, so innocent and white, and see them become forever stained from actions that were too devious and sinful for such a color.
Sanji wanted to stain you — he wanted your innocent little brain to fog over with lust, to see you discombobulate on his cock as he stretched you wide, as he took you to heights you’d never been, watch those beautiful eyes of yours roll back and watch you bare that lovely neck to him, to bite and mark and cover, to claim you, inside and out.
Sanji let out a guttaral groan as his hips picked up speed; the counter was firm and hard against his cock, a far cry from the soft, wet warmth he craved to be buried inside, but it offered friction, and with how hard his cock was, that’s what he needed, even if it was a bit unpleasant.
As consumed as he was by the myriad of sensations stoking his arousal, the soft rapping of knuckles against the wooden doorframe of the galley was almost lost on him; but thankfully, his ears had picked it up, and as if they had burned him, Sanji threw the panties into the sink below him. There was a soft splat against the steel, and Sanji winced as he realized the bridge of the panties had been soaked with his saliva — thankfully, the sound was too faint to be heard from the doorway, and the relief that offered Sanji increased tenfold as he turned to look over his shoulder and caught sight of you.
Sanji’s breath caught in his throat, and nearly all traces of arousal had been chased away by deep-seated shame, and Sanji did his best to smile at you through the guilt.
“Good morning, love. Is there something you need?” Sanji forced his voice to stay calm despite the sheer panic and guilt threatening to weigh it down; Sanji’s heart was thundering within his chest, battering against his ribcage with the force of a raging bull, and he willed his erection to just go away —
But his dick was not cooperating with him, and it stayed rock hard within his pants as you smiled back shyly and began to approach him; as you turned the corner of the island counter, Sanji belatedly realized that you had a small basket tucked under your arm, with a few articles of clothing within.
“Nothing much, Sanji. Nami told me you were helping with the laundry today, and I found these in our room so I thought I’d bring them in and offer you some help—”
Sanji watched with growing dread as you paused just a couple inches from the sink, your eyes zeroing in on the panties within and widening as your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ shape (which did not help with his erection, as his mind went to very shadowy places from the sight), and your cheeks went from normal to beet red in seconds (which also didn’t help, because it was far too pretty of a color on you).
Heavy, awkward silence fell over the galley as you stared, frozen, at the sink — Sanji wanted to look away from you, knew that you were far beyond embarrassed right now and that his staring was certainly not helping, but he simply couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Arousal was still thrumming beneath his skin, and it was like seeing you in a whole new light; knowing that those sweet, innocent, pretty panties belonged to you, that you’d worn them, that they sat snugly against your pussy and became saturated in you, in your innocence, had his dick twitching and fingers itching to pull your body flush against his. He wanted to see you wearing them for him, wanted you to bend over and present to him, so that he could see the outline of your pussy, soaked and ready, through the fabric —
Sanji inhaled sharply and tore his eyes away from you, and part of him wanted to stutter out an apology, beg for your forgiveness — he was being so shameful, sexualizing you objectifying you in the way he was, craving to take away your innocence, something that was so deeply ingrained into who you were —
But the words were stuck in his throat, unable to move past the lump of sheer shame and regret, and even if they could, would Sanji really have the courage to admit what he’d done, let alone apologize for it?
He truly didn’t know if he would.
Sanji’s actions had been so unbecoming, had went against the very essence of his code — but that was just the simple fact of it; you had this effect on him, a tendency to bring out the worst in him. And if Sanji were being honest with himself, he enjoyed it. He secretly loved the fact that you could draw that dormant beast from its slumber, all without even knowing you were doing it.
“Those, um… those are…” to Sanji’s surprise, it was your voice that broke the silence, and though he knew it would only stir him up more, Sanji snapped his eyes to you. You vehemently ignored any eye contact with him, gaze still locked on the sink, and in the blink of an eye with movements that were much faster than Sanji’s fuddled mind could perceive, your hand shot out and you ripped the panties from the sink, throwing them hastily into the basket before resituating it on your hip.
“I’ll w-wash these later,” you mumbled, cheeks still flaming, and Sanji hated the way his dick twitched at the sight. It was such a show of innocent bashfulness that it made Sanji heat from the inside out. Finally, you made the briefest of eye contact with him and gave him a small nod. “Carry on.”
Then you were turning on your heel and swiftly exiting the galley, leaving Sanji alone with his own thoughts, a half empty laundry basket, and a roaring flame of shame and guilt that Sanji didn’t think could ever be doused.
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Joey B Imagines: I Can’t Help Myself*
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Summary: While Joe’s away doing foundation stuff, there's an overwhelming amount of photos of him popping up on Twitter and Instagram. All of them had you patiently waiting for your fiance's arrival home.
Warnings: Smut
Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader
Imagines Universe: Just the Two of Us
A/N: Apron and shirtless Joe have me feral, had to speed-write this.
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March 3rd, 2024
It all started with an innocent text from my bestie.
Attachment: 1 Image… Tumblr is going crazy over this right now!
At that moment, I shook my head with a laugh at my best friend's text. She was on Tumblr to keep up with her celebrity crushes, but one day, she jokingly looked my fiance's name up. She would never give me details about what was on the ‘tag’, but she'd now and then tell me what was up with Joe Burrow Tumblr.
Joe had left the house earlier today for a foundation event at a soup kitchen here in Cincy. Robin and Jimmy, Joe’s parents, had come from Athens and were going with him.
By the looks of the picture my best friend sent, Joe wasn't having as bad of a time as he anticipated he would. This morning was full of endless grumbles before I eventually shoved Joe out of the door, but he was smiling in the picture as he poured some soup into a bowl.
He seriously looked adorable. The Guinness hat gives him an oddly innocent look, while the apron he's wearing adds to the cuteness factor.
I'm so buying that man an apron to wear when we're cooking. I thought to myself, giggling out loud.
After sending my bestie a quick response back, I pulled up Joe’s contact.
Nice apron, cutie. 😉
Naturally, It was a while later when Joe answered, but his response set butterflies off in my stomach.
Depending on the intentions behind the wink emoji, I could ask to bring one home if it works ya up.
Taking a few moments to calm down, I shot a nonchalant response back to Joe.
The hat too?
The hat too. I draw the line at the plastic gloves, though. I gotta feel you with no barriers, baby.
How this man can control every pulse point in my body with just his words will never fail to amaze me.
Shit, my mom was reading that beside me. 😬
JOSEPH LEE BURROW.
My stomach dropped at the thought of Robin reading her son practically dirty-talking to me. That's next-level embarrassment.
I'm joking, babe. See you later, with an apron and hat.
Omg, Joe! If I was with you right now, you'd get smacked in the back of the head. I love you, though. See ya later!
Love you too. 😘
This morning, Joe woke up ready to go. I'm not talking about being ready to go to the foundation event, I'm talking about sex.
Joe woke up most mornings wanting a quick romp to start the day, so it had slowly become a part of our daily routine.
It was a different story today, though.
—
Still naked from the previous night’s lovemaking session, Joe had pulled me into him as our lips met. I'd just gotten close enough to grind on his erection when Joe’s phone rang on the nightstand.
“You should probably get that.” - you said between kisses
Joe groaned out of annoyance when he pulled away and grabbed his phone, rolling his eyes when he saw the caller ID.
“Who is it?” - you stroked his chest
“My mom.” - Joe
“Why'd you roll your eyes then?” - you
He sighed and pulled me into his chest, moving his hips away, knowing any friction would make him lose control.
“She treats me like a little kid every time we have one of these foundation events.” - Joe
“You're her baby, Joe. She’s just looking out for you.” - you
Joe nodded with a sigh and accepted the call.
“Hey Mom, yeah I'm awake.” - Joe
His deep, raspy morning voice made my cheeks heat up, and I hid my blush in his chest.
“My shirt’s been ironed, yes. y/n ironed it and laid it out last night.” - Joe
The silence gave me the ability to hear what Robin was saying, and the words she said only made my heart flutter.
“You better have thanked her. Joe, I don't think you realize how lucky you are to have that woman by your side.” - Robin
“I'm very lucky, Mom. Wouldn't be who I am without her.” - Joe
“Make sure she knows that. I'll see you later, sweetie!” - Robin
“Bye, Mom.” - Joe
I cuddled closer to Joe, listening to him mumble a quick “Yes, I love you too” before hanging up.
“Wouldn't be where you are without me, huh sheisty?” - you laughed
“Shut it.” - Joe rolled his eyes
A few seconds of content silence passed before Joe cleared his throat and sat up.
“Okay, I'm like super horny right now, but I'm gonna push that away because I've been thinking about something.” - Joe
“What's that?” - you
“We still haven't told anybody that I proposed. I told you we could wait till we got back to Cincy, and we've been back for weeks. I'm trying to say that we need to tell our families soon.” - Joe
“Oh ok, that's fine. Whenever you want to, I'm down.” - you
“Actually? Just like that?” - Joe
I giggled and gently reached out to comb back the curls that had fallen over on Joe’s forehead.
“Yeah, just like that. It's been fun keeping it just between us, but I want nothing more than telling our family we’re gonna get married.” - you
“Can I also ask you about something else?” - Joe
“Mhm.” - you
Joe sighed and took a second to clear his thoughts.
“You okay?” - you
“Yeah… I'm just trying to pay attention, it's kinda hard to, you know…” - Joe
He flicked his head down toward the tented sheet covering his lap.
“Focus, babe.” - you laughed
“Okay, uhm… what if we got married earlier than this coming offseason?” - Joe
“What do you mean?” - you tilted your head to the side
“What if we got married at the courthouse, no one else there? Just you, me, and the judge. It could be as soon as next month or as late as a week before our actual ceremony.” - Joe
I let his idea sink in, thinking about how sweet his idea of getting married soon is.
“I’m listening.” - you smiled
“We won't do our big vows or even exchange rings yet, just the license saying we're married, and hopefully your name change.” - Joe grinned
“y/n Burrow.” - you
Joe grinned from ear to ear, a blush on his cheeks as he heard my first name paired with his last name.
“Always thought that sounded perfect. I remember thinking about it on the first day of college during roll call. I couldn't take my eyes off of you after our professor said your name, and I thought about your last name as Burrow.” - Joe
“You're adorable.” - you
“Thanks.” - Joe
A few seconds went by without either of us saying something, but Joe broke it with a sigh.
“Are we going to continue what we were doing before your mom called?” - you
“Sadly, I have to start getting ready. Waiting will make tonight even better, though.” - Joe winked
“How do you know I'll even want it later?” - you
“You will, baby. You always do.” - Joe
—
Now, here I was, staring at a picture of my fiance pouring soup into a bowl.
Something about the moment just screamed husband.
Maybe it was the adorable apron. Or hat. Or plastic gloves.
Whatever it was, I wanted more of it. More of him. All of him.
My thoughts lingered to the most intimate moments with Joe. Catching myself before I got too worked up, I pulled up my phone to scroll through Instagram.
As soon as I did, though, my plan of a distraction was shot to hell.
Justin Hillard made a post of the Arizona trip the boys went on and one of the last slides showcased a sweaty, shirtless Joe.
“Where's Joe when you need him.” - you groaned
—
What felt like hours later, I heard the garage door open signaling Joe was home.
A minute later, his tall frame was striding into the kitchen. I watched him look around for a second before his eyes landed on me.
A grin formed on his lips as he walked up to the couch. Joe dropped to his knees in front of me and leaned in for a kiss.
When I went to pull away, Joe grabbed the back of my neck to keep me in place. After a few minutes of making out, Joe finally pulled away.
“Sorry, I really needed that.” - Joe sheepishly smiled
“It's alright, I did too.” - you smiled
“How was your day? I didn't leave you too bored, right?” - Joe
“My day was good, and no. I spent most of it obsessing over the new pics of you.” - you
“Felt like I never left then, huh?” - Joe
“Dead wrong. Staring at the pictures only made me miss you more.” - you
I watched as Joe teasingly licked his lips, never once breaking eye contact.
“Why's that?” - Joe
“Cut the shit, Joe. You know exactly why.” - you
“Because we didn't have sex this morning? That's why you missed me?” - Joe
“Well, that's not the only reason why. I naturally hate being away from you, but yes sex has something to do with it.” - you
Joe reached out and placed his hand on my inner thigh, nestling his hand against my crotch.
“Wanna go upstairs then?.” - Joe
I nodded, and Joe was quick to stand up and pick me up bridal style.
Giggles flew from both of our lips as Joe hurried up the stairs to our bedroom.
Soon, Joe was laying me on the bed and crawling on top of me.
“I love you.” - you said between kisses
Joe smiled and returned the sentiment, my arms wrapping around his neck as we kissed.
“Listen let's just get straight to it. I've been looking forward to this all day.” - you
“You don't want the tongue & finger combo first?” - Joe
I laughed at his bluntness before nodding my head.
“I need you inside me.” - you
“Fuck, I love hearing you say that.” - Joe
Joe placed his lips back on mine and shifted his weight onto one arm, lifting the other hand to unzip his fly.
I helped him shed his pants off, but Joe took my hand away when I reached for his boxers. He sat back on his knees for a second to pull his shirt over his head, quickly returning to his position above me when he was done.
My arms were around his shoulder as Joe slowly dropped his hips to grind on me. Just seconds later he'd pull away to take my clothes off.
When we were both naked, Joe’s lust-filled eyes scanned over my body before reversing course and locking with mine.
“God, you're beautiful, baby.” - Joe
After Joe lined himself up to my entrance, he slowly pushed inside. Making sure I felt every inch of him.
“You feel so good.” - Joe groaned
“You too…” - you
“So hot and wet for me, baby.” - Joe
Joe didn't move for a minute, just savoring the feeling of my walls wrapped around his hard cock.
“Joey, move, please?” - you
I watched him nod before he leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to my cheek. Joe formed a path of kisses from my cheek to my lips.
Once he met my lips, Joe slipped out of me before slamming his cock back inside.
Both of us moaned loudly when his tip hit my cervix, my walls squeezing Joe’s thrusting cock as he set a rough pace.
“You feel insane.” - Joe moaned
“I've been dreaming about this… all day.” - you
A few minutes later, Joe and I were still locked together at mouth and crotch.
“I'm not gonna last much longer.” - Joe moaned
“Me… neither.” - you
Joe’s face contorted as the overwhelming pleasure coursed through his body. His cute nose scrunching as his eyes are clenched shut.
“Oh, fuck!” - Joe grunts
Seconds later, with a shaky hand, Joe reaches down to where we were connected and rubbed my clit with his thumb. His thrusts became uneven but never once unsatisfactory.
“Joey! I'm gonna cum!” - you moaned
It wasn't much longer after that when I fell over the edge, moaning Joe’s name through my climax.
Joe continued his thrusts before rushing to get as deep as he could.
His head fell back, and his mouth fell open. A moan and grunt of my name leaves his pretty pink lips as he cums.
After his orgasm, Joe fell forward and on top of me. Burying his face in my neck as he stayed inside me, fading out the experience.
I reached a hand up and cupped the back of Joe’s head, slowly running my fingers through his unruly curls. The comforting sounds of our mutual heavy breath and the ceiling fan created a soft moment.
“You really liked that apron, huh?” - Joe
“Yeah.” - you giggled
Joe stayed there for a bit, enjoying being cuddled before he eventually pulled out and hopped out of bed.
My eyes lingered on his perfectly plump butt as Joe walked into our bathroom, later returning with a washcloth to clean us both up.
He strode up to me as I stayed lying in the bed. Joe softly caressed my thighs while gently spreading my legs apart.
I hummed in contentment at the feel of the warm washcloth, and Joe only smiled at the sound.
After cleaning himself up too, Joe slipped on a pair of clean boxers.
“Do you want one of my shirts to sleep in? Panties too, maybe?” - Joe
“Just one of your shirts will be fine.” - you smiled
Joe nodded and disappeared into the closet. A few seconds later, he walked back in with one of his pregame shirts that was from a previous season.
“Lean up for me, baby.” - Joe
I did his bidding and Joe slipped the top over my head, making sure my arms went through the sleeves.
“Comfy?” - Joe
He walked around the bed and climbed into his side.
“Very, and it smells like you.” - you grinned
“I hope that's a good thing.” - Joe laughed
“It's a very good thing, you smell delicious.” - you
Joe chuckled as he pulled me into his chest, one of his big hands running over my back as my head was hidden in Joe’s neck.
“I love you.” - you
“I love you more.” - Joe
He lovingly stroked my hair, providing tender words of affirmation and holding me tightly in his arms during their comforting aftercare ritual.
“Oh shit, do you know what I just realized?” - Joe
“What?” - you
“My apron is down in my car. I forgot to show you.” - Joe sighed
“It's okay. You can show me tomorrow.” - you giggled
“Guess what.” - Joe
I narrowed my eyes, trying to see his expression in the dark but failing.
“What?” - you
“I grabbed one for you too.” - Joe smiled
“Oh my god.” - you laughed
“I couldn't help myself!” - Joe
He laughed along with me before we both paused, coincidently yawning in sync, which ended in another laughing fit.
“Goodnight, baby.” - you
“Goodnight, my love.” - Joe
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Authors note: because Joe was illegally fine that day.
Came from my own head! 💞
#joe burrow#bengals#joe burrow imagine#joe burrow x reader#joey b#cincinnati bengals#joe burrow fan fic#joe burrow series#joe burrow smut
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Heya! I hope you're doing well 🫶🏻🫶🏻 may I request some hcs about how would tf141, könig and alejandro react their s/o is single mom? Also I thought it'd be funny like they swear and their s/o just says "tsk, don't use that word again"
Of course I can do this for you! :)
Ghost
At first he’s hesitant not to be in a relationship with you
But rather to meet your kid/s he thinks they aren’t going to like him or find him scary
But you reassured him and told him you have mentioned what he looks like
As soon as he felt confident enough the kid/s met him
They loved him completely they found him cool as of what he does and that he does the same thing as their mom
He shows them cools things like in the garden and teaches them to use stuff to make hits or whatever
They love him and he loves them
Not just he teaches them stuff but they teach him stuff
Like their favourite games, play football or even play on the x box
And once he found out there are army games he was happy to play on the x box with the kids
Soap
Instantly in love with the fact you have kids
Definitely buys them things before they meet him
And when you mention what they like he keeps a note on it
So if they liked drawing like him he’d buy something related or if your read or play games he’ll buy something like that
When he meets them they enjoyed how entertaining he is and how energetic he can be
He was particularly one with the kids
Like if they want to play a prank on you he’s definitely a part of it and helps them
If they want a bed time story he’ll read to them and let you have a rest as he knows it can be hard as a single parent
Sometimes if the kid/s have worn him out he’ll read the book and fall asleep laying next to them
He’ll make pancakes and help you with cooking, sometimes even get the kids to help
Gaz
Definitely first saw them on FaceTime first before in person
And they lived chatting with him so much they got his number so they can FaceTime together
If they are almost a teen they definitely send him funny TikTok’s
When he meets them in person it’s like they already knew him
They have so much fun together it honestly warms your heart
If they are young and heard him swear or you and they say it in front of him he’ll say something like ‘oi, that’s my word I coined it’ kinda like Tony from avengers endgame with his daughter Morgan
Definitely let’s then lay on him if they are little so they can watch Netflix on his phone while you cuddle to Gaz’s side
Let’s you do whatever as he like Soap can guess that being a single mom is hard so he’ll look after then while you do your daily routine especially in the morning
The kids love when he takes them to school they like to show their friends that he’s their ‘step dad’ and he feels proud when they call him that
You allow the kid/s to call him ‘step dad’ and only because Gaz is comfortable about it
Price
Your kid/s are somewhat shy so when he got to their level he spoke ‘don’t worry I won’t bite. Besides I have a gift for you’
Buys them something like a small toy or sweets to win them over
After a hour they came round and loved him cause like who doesn’t? He is such a father figure that Gaz isn’t just his ‘child’ but your kid/s are now his kid/s
He makes them breakfast and lunch if you are busy to go to your other job or if you were packing their pe kits
Definitely tells them things and tells them to tell you. Like he’ll say ‘go tell mom she’s pretty’ and then the kid/s will run to wherever you are and tell you
Tells them cool stories of his past or ‘war’ stories. You make the kid/s hot chocolate so they can have it while listening cause you know the stories are somewhat long
Watches movies every Friday night as it’s a new tradition in the household
Can’t say no if your kids give the puppy dog eyes. He caves every time sometimes he comes home with them after a day out and they have ice cream over their faces and a toy in hand
Loves when it’s like a presentation thing or a school play as he loves seeing the kids faces light up when they see you two sat in the audience
He’s also there for them no matter what. If they need to vent he’ll go to the living room or somewhere private so your kid can tell him everything and he’ll comfort them and then help find a solution
Alejandro
They didn’t know he was Mexican but once they found out they found it quite interesting and fascinating
As every kid would do they’d ask him to say somethings in Spanish and they’d find it so cool and he loved that
They’d most likely ask to teach them
He’d definitely get them to try new food that he would make and somehow managed to get your kid (if they are picky) to eat any type of food
Definitely loves taking them to the beach if it’s close by. Definitely helps make sand castles while you sun bathe and then will grab some water in the bucket and him and the kids would tip it over you for a laugh
Tries to help you and the kids as much as possible. If your getting ready still he’ll take the kid/s to school. He’ll help them get changed or make their lunch
Definitely like Gaz when it comes to trouble making. And obviously he will get away with it just by giving you a quick kiss and saying ‘only doing it cause the kid/s wanted me to’
Takes them to play places with you. You two will have a chat and a drink while they ran around and get all their energy out
Definitely fun and the kids are obsessed with him
Definitely in love with you even more and loves the kid/s
König
Honestly he’s more shy than the kids and nervous cause of his height he thought he’d scare the kids away
When he first met them your kid/s went up to him and introduced themselves
He found that they were quite polite and friendly so he became more comfortable
If they are a girl he’ll go into the garden and make daisy chains or plant flowers
and if it’s a boy he’ll play games or take them out of a bike whatever they want to do he’s fully up for it not matter the gender or interest
He wants to try his best as he has never been a ‘father figure’ before so he was nervous but he tries his best and you can see that
Loves taking them to ice cream shops or parlours anything sweet related he’s up for it as he has just as big of a sweet tooth as your kid/a do
Loves cuddling up and watching movies together. You on one side and the kid/a on the other
Definitely likes to watch animal documentaries with them especially Sir David Attenborough. For some reason since he’s been with you and you were to watch it he was fascinated by the show and Sir David’s voice
Overall, he is a brilliant father figure to the kids and loves them with all his heart he is glad they like him and want him around
Hope you like it!
Sorry it took so long I haven’t had as much time or motivation but it’s finally here. Also I am open to requests again and just to know that it won’t be out exactly the next day but it would be out soon.
Have a good day/night!
#task force 141#task force 141 x y/n#cod x reader#cod mw2#cod headcanons#cod modern warfare#gaz x reader#könig x reader#ghost x reader#price x reader#soap x reader#alejandro x reader
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💥 Subtle Eris Worship ⚔️
Stand up for yourself and others
Assert your boundaries; learn what your boundaries are; not all boundaries need to be spoken
Do not needlessly sacrifice yourself for others (it takes time to unlearn this behavior, it'll be ok ❤️)
Have a candle that reminds you of her (no altar needed)
Wear jewelry that reminds you of her
Keep a picture of her in your wallet
Engage in activities you're passionate about
Share your passions with others
Support abuse survivor, homeless, or humanitarian organizations
Practice healthy conflict resolution skills; learn about what those might look like
Have imagery black wings, apples (particularly golden), black feathers, or whatever you associate with rivalry/discord around
Have a stuffed animal of any animal you associate with discord or rivalry; have a stuffed animal of an animal you consider to be bold, passionate, or powerful (maybe a predator)
Take risks; do things that you need/want to; if you're scared, do it scared
Learn to speak up when you disagree with someone; don't always hold your tongue
Get comfortable with the idea of change; try to look at positive outcomes rather than focusing on negative ones
Change something within your daily routine if it starts to feel mundane, even something small
Join a supportive community where you feel comfortable expressing yourself; LGBT groups, D&D, survivor therapeutic groups, etc.
Dance/sing to music that makes you feel empowered, badass, or expressive
Find healthy outlets for your emotions; boxing, dancing, drawing, building, crafting, etc.
Allow yourself to feel your feelings; cry, scream, shake - whatever your body needs to do
Make your space reflect parts of yourself; make it your own!
Exercise; get some movement throughout the day, even just stretching
Create a positive change in the life of someone else; cook a meal for someone in need, donate blankets to a homeless shelter, support your friend through a difficult time, etc.
Prioritize your own well-being; learn to be comfortable with being a bit selfish; it's not a bad thing to look out for yourself
Wear outfits that make you feel bold or expressive
Express yourself in little ways if you're unable to be fully open; a bracelet to represent your gender, pride flag colored shoelaces, etc.
Play with pets; get active alongside them!
Listen to stories of people who have gone through major life changes; try to learn from them
Make a list of your personal strengths; acknowledge and honor them
Work hard, but remember that rest is also productive
Practice patience and restraint around people who annoy or bother you a lot; a difficult lesson, believe me, I know
Try to be understanding of the fact that people have their own struggles as well; this doesn't mean you have to forgive transgressions against you
Don't feel obligated to forgive people; you do not owe anyone anything just because they apologized to you
Celebrate your accomplishments, even the small ones!
-
I'll likely add more later! It was a bit tough for me to come up with ideas for Eris because I don't worship her directly and couldn't find many sources discussing her worship, unfortunately. I'm open to ideas! For now, this is my list of discreet Eris worship. I hope someone finds it helpful. ❤️
Link to Subtle Worship Master list
#helpol#hellenic polytheism#hellenic pagan#eris deity#eris#eris worship#paganblr#deity worship#pagan tips
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Know Your Soul Purpose With Your Big 3
It's been so much time since I've been here, but it's amazing to be back! Now, here's a topic I was wondering about today...
All our configurations hold divine meaning, in that before we are born, our souls chose the type of experiences we needed to undergo as part of our next visit on Earth. What makes us "us" is perfect in design. And what we're "made of" can be neatly seen in our birth charts. No birth nor birth chart happen by chance.
While it’s accurate that specific karmic work (which is part of our life's mission) is indicated by studying the positions of Saturn, its aspects, planets falling in water houses and the configuration of lunar nodes, I feel we can also find great part our soul's purpose (our main lessons) by analyzing our Big 3. This is equal to drawing a picture of the blueprint of our unique navigation system, our compasses through our human experience.
To make a draft of your soul's blueprint, take these steps!
Look at your chart to know your Ascendant, Sun and Moon signs and chart ruler(s). If your rising sign has two rulers, take them both into account. In my case, I always use whole sign system.
Identify the houses of your placements.
Start drafting your Ascendant, Sun and Moon signs' significations using the tables below, including both positive and negative traits. If we're moving through life based mostly on our positive qualities, it's very likely we're on the right track. Conversely, living constantly under the influence of our negative traits marks potential blockages to get where we need to be.
Add to your blueprint areas in which you naturally express your placement's traits (houses). This is important because you will know where your mission will be accomplished more easily or naturally.
Have fun!
If you're having a bit of trouble to come up with yours, take my own example...
I am proud of myself when I present to the world as passionate, powerful, magnetic, and intuitive (positive Scorpio rising qualities). I realize that when I become vengeful, jealous, obsessive and/or mournful (negative Scorpio rising qualities), I am attracting unnecessarily challenging circumstances that hinder my lessons in my life. My personality (rising sign) projects most in my physical appearance image and identity, in my close communities and in the pursuit of my dreams (Chart Rulers in 1st and 11th house). I feel my life has meaning when I act as a nurturing, sensitive, creative and empathetic person (positive traits of Cancer sun), but when I become needy, emotionally instable, insecure and/or manipulating with others (negative traits of Cancer sun), I realize that I am blocking myself from living in my fullest potential. The area where my conscious self (Sun sign) shines most is in my path towards higher learning, distant travelling, truth seeking, legal affairs and spirituality (Sun in 9th house). I feel safe and fulfilled when I can be brave, independent, assertive and passionate (positive Moon in Aries traits). But, when I realize that I'm repeatedly reacting in a violent, selfish, impulsive and/or inconstant way (negative Moon in Aries traits), I know that am blocking my ability to be peaceful within myself and move ahead in life. My emotional needs (Moon sign) are best taken care of through my habits, health care, daily routine, service to others, jobs, and pets (Moon in the 6th house).
Now, what information can you derive from this description? What does this tell about my purpose in this life?
Naturally, I am pulled to creative, healing and spiritual work. I studied Industrial Design in college, but I've expanded my career in other directions, including developing and managing intermittently art and esoteric online businesses while also holding an office job in Change Management. I am also the eternal student, self-learning and passionate about higher knowledge. I like to share my insights with others and help them find their own truth, their own awakening. I am drawn to intense (and sometimes not so positive) experiences and relationships, and have drastically changed my own image, jobs and spiritual views along the years. I've certainly went through a lot of turmoil, but also have gained significant life lessons and valuable wisdom thanks to the way I approach life. I cannot help to be deeply emotional, empathetic, passionate, excitable, idealistic and inspired, for the good and the bad! Even though it's not been an easy road, I realize that little by little my purpose is being fulfilled... and I hope you all do!
What about you? Let me know what you find out about yourself!
Thanks for reading! 😘🖤
Written by @soberpluto
#astrology observations#astrology notes#astrology community#astrology#astrology signs#big 3#soul purpose#soul mission#karmic lessons#lessons#karma
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𝐀 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥—𝐈𝐧 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥
DEFINITION— Simply put, ‘that girl’ is who everyone wants to be. She’s healthy, knows her priorities, and most importantly, she puts herself first. She is determined and sets her goals straight, no one can distract her and she knows she’s bound to achieve whatever she wants.
STEP 1— Set A Goal
As previously mentioned, that girl is the epitome of determination, a true girlboss and she knows exactly what she wants and stops at nothing to get it. Now, let's take a moment to envision her daily routine and lifestyle. Picture how she's always striving toward one goal or another, whether they’re academic or fitness achievements, she’s always in constant motion with an occasional break.
Here's the exciting part: those qualities you admire so much, you can make them your own. You can turn those aspirations into your reality. It's not about copying her, but rather drawing inspiration from her and crafting your unique path to success.
So, take a list and start setting milestones. Imagine the perfect girl and write down everything you admire about her. Is it her perfect grades? Her body fitness? How she’s never procrastinating? Her time-management skills? Determination? Write it all down!
Now, with everything written down. You’re going to make these points of hers into yours. You’re going to stay committed and actively pursue these qualities until you find yourself in a place you once deemed remarkable.
STEP 2— Plan Your Success
In this stage, you might be a little overwhelmed. There are things you want to work on but you don’t know which one to choose, or whether you have the time to do so. But don’t worry, because it’s all about choosing your priorities and having to manage your time.
The first thing you want to do is get a journal or you can use Notion/Google Calendar if you’re lazy like me. Then, write down all of your fixed schedules (like classes, tuition, or part-time) and make out at least an hour at the end of each weekday.
Ask yourself specific questions to clarify your priorities. Is your main goal to get fit or have an academic comeback? Or do you want to focus on both fitness and your studies?
Build your schedule around your key goals. This means you should prioritise and allocate time for the most important objectives or ambitions you have in mind.
!!⠀if you’re having trouble with making up a schedule, feel free to dm me/send in an ask. I’ll be more than willing to help ♡︎
STEP 3— True Competition Is Determination and Discipline
It’s not about how much you’re doing in a period of time, in the end, you’re going to be burnt out and tired. It’s more about how consistent you are. Yes, it might get tiring at one point; and that is when you slow down and cut yourself some slack while keeping the drive going.
You are really training your discipline instead of running on motivation that is bound to run out. That’s why you don’t see ‘that girl’ everywhere. Because everyone lacks discipline and commitment, they’re afraid of being in uncomfortable situations and would rather mindlessly scroll on tiktok than really challenge themselves.
Working on a goal is all about determination. It tests how badly you want it and how much you’re willing to sacrifice for it. But let me tell you, your sacrifices will never be a waste.
STEP 4— Breaks Are Part of The Process
What I hate seeing the most is how people work non-stop with no breaks. If your goal is to be burnt out within a or two week, feel free to be my guest and do what you’ve got to. Your body and mind is not a machine, because you are human and you deserve breaks.
Whether that is self-care nights, going out with friends, or literally just laying in bed and watching Netflix. You choose your breaks and how often you get them. But be careful not to get carried away and lose sight of your milestones (because I’ve fallen into this trap once too many times).
In the end, balance is key! You want to be on the grind, and still be able to maintain connections and have fun. If you’re capable of finding your balance, let me tell you you’re just on your way to success.
TIPS—
ꕤ Romanticise The Hell Out of The Process
One of the best advice I can give is literally romanticise everything. Get cute stationaries to study with, dress up all pretty just to go study at a cafe/wear your pretty pink gym outfits, listen to songs that put you into the mood, or imagine yourself as the main character of your movie to success (I use this sometimes when I’m really desperate and also bc I’m a delulu).
ꕤ Don't oversleep on weekends; wake up early to make the most of your time.
Tbh I get low-key annoyed when people sleep in during the weekends because of the time wasted you could’ve used to get ahead of others!!
ꕤ Use Social Media To Your Advantage
I’m never one to be against social media unless you’re not using it to your advantage. For example, your tiktok feed is most probably about trendy videos and memes. But, why not make your feed about motivation, videos that educate you on certain matters and actually bring you knowledge?
ꕤ Take Inspirations/Motivations From Others
I’m personally a pretty competitive person so looking at people who received Academic Achievers awards really pisses me off and makes me motivated to study harder lol. Try to find your tick and make use of it.
Now that you’ve finished reading this post, it’s time to set your mind on your goals and girlboss your way to it. So my angels, good luck and don’t stop working until you are her.
#self love#self care#that girl#self healing#school#studyspo#studying#studyblr#study motivation#self growth#self help#self improvement#girlblogger#girlblogging#it girl#clean girl#mental health#glow up#wonyoungism#becoming that girl#it girl energy#pink pilates princess#pink pilates girl#self development#motivation#wellness#study aesthetic#study blog#feminine energy#divine feminine
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I did all 20 of @taylortut 's
20 BLORBO/OC WHUMP/ H/C ASKS
for both Mithrun and Kabru from Dungeon Meshi, because I have low-key lurked the community for a while and long to reveal my madness, and also I want to spread the 'ganda about my perfect boys before season 2 of the anime drops. Evidence of my illness is below the cut.
Also parts of this are NWS and there's violence including passing mention of sexual violence so like please. There's also visual depictions of stuff like self harm. I've warned you.
BILL, STAY OUT.
What appeals to you about this character?
Mithrun: Without spoiling too much, I'd say the draw for me is that he's a character who's at once very capable and very vulnerable. He's a powerful magic user with a lot of (terrible) life experiences, but he's also afflicted with a condition that makes it necessary for him to have what amounts to a caretaker whenever he's not doing rote daily routine stuff. Also, he's a tiny little elf, which is always a plus.
Also, he looks like D&D Gilbert, which is Funny To Me.
Kabru: The son-boy! The one through whom I recognize the self through the other! I love that he's a chronic manager of others' emotions, and a doting caretaker to Mithrun, and also sometimes a ruthless killer.
I've observed this isn't a super beloved character trait of his, but I maintain that it whips ass. He's a character of contrasts like Mithrun is, being very much invested in humans and also willing to rip someone apart.
Also, he looks like D&D Serge, which is Funny To Me.
What's your least favorite aspect of this character?
Both: None! I like that Kabru will stab a fucker, I like that Mithrun is very capable of being a bitch, I like that they both have worldviews informed by their upbringings and think/say things about others that aren't charitable or fair, I love my boys.
What's your favorite canon moment with this character?
God. They have many good moments individually and together, but like. The #1 one, as well as the one most relevant to this questionairre, is this. I goof about it a lot, but it's so tender and the implications are so striking. Kabru is actually treating him like a person. I consider this scene a companion to an earlier one, when they first meet and Mithrun actually treats Kabru like an adult and a peer, which elves generally don't.
Do you have a favorite fic for this character?
GOD. So many of them are so good, we really do monopolize the biggest crinkliest brains, but the one I'm FERAL about right now is The Chameleon by threesmallcrows. Fuck. Me. Up. It's an AU, too, a gothis horror/romance one, so one could if one wanted just eat it right up even if you've only seen these two on screen for two minutes.
What's your favorite whump trope to use for this character and why?
Individually: Mithrun: Exhaustion or illness or anything that requires him to be toted around like a stupid little baby and handled delicately. I just like him being spoiled, which is a hideous contrast to what I'm gonna type in a minute wwww
Kabru: Persevering through injury, I think. He's a very purpose-driven person, and I think him toughing it out because he absolutely has to is very appealing. He can collapse and be coddled later, it's fine.
Jointly: *throws up my fucking hands* (Threats of) noncon against Mithrun while Kabru is incapacitated. Sorry. It just has juice. Nothing even has to Happen, it can be as inoffensive as someone manhandling him wrong or threatening him. My brain is simple and I like more reasons for Kabru to stab people and for Mithrun to be miserable. SOZ.
Whose relationship with this character is your favorite, shipping or otherwise?
*gestures at entire post* WHAT DO YOU THINK.
Whose relationship with this character is your least favorite?
Mithrun: Milsiril, she very much was ready to murder him when he was at his most vulnerable because she decided his life wouldn't be worth living.
Kabru: ...Nay, I shan't say it.
Describe your ideal whump scenario for this character.
The main antagonist possessing Another Chara's body and threatening Mithrun while Kabru is temporarily restrained. I. Listen.
No, there's no adequate defense. It's just exciting! It's got juice, to me! I like peril, I like Literalizing, I like protective fury. Rage is a kind of distress!
Do you have headcanons for this character, if they're not an OC?
Mithrun: I write him as something that readers would describe as intersex if they saw it IRL, but it's not treated that way and doesn't work in a way that would be realistic if that's what I was trying to do. I'm not doing realism, I'm doing an artistic expression of sex and gender variety in a fantasy race that's explicitly very androgynous already. Also it's fun.
Kabru: That he's legally adopted. Way less interesting.
What would devastate them the most, emotionally speaking?
BESIDES THE ABOVE?
Mithrun: Rejection or perceived rejection, canonically. If he were to perceive someone as being tired of him or sick of him and discarding him, he'd be Very Upset.
Kabru: He's majorly motivated by loss and a sense of responsibility, so losing someone he loves to violence when he feels he could have prevented it would break him pretty bad.
If it's not a spoiler, what's the worst thing that's ever happened to them?
It is a spoiler, so: Plenty.
How do they act when sick/injured? Is it obvious or do they hide it well?
Honestly they both kind of keep on keeping on until they Drop or someone stops them.
What are their coping mechanisms, good and bad?
Mithrun: Relies on memories of how he was before he was so severely traumatized in order to make what are usually constructive decisions about what to do. I get the impression he becomes less able to do this in fraught situations, though.
Kabru: Mentally recites rote facts to himself to persevere through unpleasant situations.
How is their mental health, generally speaking?
Could be better. They're doing their best though.
Who do you like to see hurting them, if anyone?
DESPITE WHAT I'VE WRITTEN ABOVE I'm not super crazy about them being hurt. I guess 'baddies, generally' because while I like them in peril I'm not super specific about it.
Who do you like to see caring for them, if anyone?
Both: Each other, and also the stupid poultry AKA the gaggle of freaks who follow Mithrun around. I just love their various dynamics. Pattadol is very appealing platonically, for reasons.
What do they do to self-soothe when they're not feeling well?
They don't, it's an established problem. Kabru is literally so terrible at taking care of himself (but not others, he's very attentive to other people) that his landlord cleans his room for him out of either pity or necessity.
Are they good at taking care of themselves or do they need help?
Buddy they do it worse than anyone's ever done it.
Do they have old scars, physical or otherwise?
fffff
Mithrun is missing his right eye and half the outer structure of both ears after the incident that traumatized him. He's extensively scarred from having compulsively harmed himself during his recovery, as well as from having been restrained so that he wouldn't do that.
Kabru seems fine physically, but they're both PTSD disasters that present it differently.
Anything else you'd like to share about them I haven't asked?
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.....................
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[ao3]
First year Ruggie Bucchi worked himself to the bone too much.
CW: Fainting, starving, some hints of Ruggie's past, overworking (and physical consequences of that)
A/N: This has some grains of my own personal headcanons for Ruggie.
--
For most people, doing “nothing” would be picking up their hobbies, like writing, drawing or playing videogames. For some people the expression “doing nothing” means that they aren’t doing anything important nor productive at the moment, which could serve as time to do some tasks; but they choose not to.
For Ruggie, there wasn’t really a “doing nothing” state in him. His body would always move while doing chores. His ears would always be alert in case he sensed danger or someone approaching him. His mind would always be full on what to do later, what to do next, and lastly what he’s doing now. He was always standing, never dozing off too much and never allowing himself to be too comfortable at times.
But this was one of those days that he really needed to think nothing.
Ruggie wasn’t an overthinker; he is a schemer, and someone raised by survival. His thoughts were never easy to read to other people, and Ruggie had picked that ability of not showing and telling from all he had gone through.
His mind was tranquil as long as he had something to eat. No one lives if they don’t eat. It’s a basic human need after all; hundreds of centuries back, humans still had to hunt in order to survive.
But during someone’s hunt season, it is someone else’s prey season.
Ruggie knew he wasn’t the strongest out of everyone. He was smaller than all of his dormmates, even the younger ones. He didn’t mind being tiny; his size wasn’t an issue, perhaps more of a consequence.
The hyena beastman stumbled slightly as he walked through the school corridors. It was common in him, really. His walking sometimes seemed unorganized, unpredictable… Like he could be either planning nothing or everything at the same time. Perhaps it was part of his “don’t show, don’t tell” mechanism.
He noticed people surrounding him, obviously all of them being newly familiar faces. Ruggie knew what was going around him every day, but today it seemed like he was slowly being distanced from the floor.
He could’ve thought about what was happening to him, but he was incredibly exhausted of thinking. Reality was that he didn’t need much inspection to know what happened.
Ruggie had once again not eaten enough.
It was common for him to not have much money. In fact, he was the most broke student of all NRC, and he was barely in his first year.
His routine to know how to get food was easy. He could fetch a lot of cooking ingredients in his own dorm, plus he actually had to cook for Leona very often and most times he separated a portion of the food for himself. He would also resort to stealing some things, obviously from people he knew were well accommodated financially – he wouldn’t dare to steal mindlessly like he’d done several times before arriving campus.
But his plan was damaged when he doze off for a couple of days.
First, when he cooked Leona’s meal he could feel a bit out of place. He realized the beef had finished cooking long ago, but his mind was in another place. As soon as he smelled a different smell than his usual cooked meals, he turned the stove off like it was a command from his own hand and not a stimulus provoked by his brain.
Leona had began complaining soon after, and Ruggie didn’t get time to cut himself a piece.
A day after that one, the hyena beastman started feeling slower, which wasn’t normal at all coming from him. He realized he had to do something about it because if he wasn’t fast enough to steal or looked intimidating enough for people to fear him, he wouldn’t be able to get food in the quickest way.
His daily chore of buying Leona’s lunch was insanely difficult because of his lack of agility when having low energy. He didn’t get his favorite thing from the cafeteria, so he settled with a close second, and realized the money left to buy something for himself was little.
Or, well, it might’ve been little for anyone, but for Ruggie it was like a miracle he could afford a donut. At least it was his favorite food, right?
Leona didn’t complain much anyway, if anything he accepted the food without looking because he was just sleeping.
A Ruggie in a better state would ask him if he would go to class at least, and maybe also mumble under his breath that Leona was just as lazy as ever.
But Ruggie didn’t feel like doing anything today, so even the usual was tiring.
After chewing the donut for a while longer than it could’ve, Ruggie felt like he had enough in order to survive P.E. It wasn’t his worst subject, in fact, Ruggie was athletic and he could do just fine. But even the easiest things are harder to do with an empty stomach.
After the class, he felt a migraine incoming. Maybe it was from all the yelling everyone did, maybe a brute movement while he flied on his broom.
He could just grab the first-aid kit in his dorm and get an ibuprofen. But, once again, Ruggie was too tired to even do it.
He collected pieces of clothing around the public area of Savanaclaw, most of them being Leona’s. He then put them all to wash.
Between the washing machine and a cupboard, there was a tiny space, just little enough for him to fit.
Perhaps it was because of the exhaustion, but Ruggie couldn’t help it but sit down at that tiny space. The only noise covering his ears was the washing machine’s, and maybe it didn’t hit close to home, but he was already used to it since he had to wash clothes every day.
It was just a weird day.
Ruggie Bucchi, tired. So exhausted that he couldn’t even lift a finger and thieve something that wasn’t his.
Way to go.
He couldn’t doze off much more and he knew. But the dissociation was so intense he could feel his vision become partially black. He could feel his shoulders were too heavy. His migraine started propagating to every part of his head, which also didn’t feel very light.
A lazy “ah” came out of his mouth before he felt he was no longer sensing anything, not even the washing machine’s sound.
[...]
Ruggie felt someone shaking him, but he didn't even bother to open his eyes, they were too heavy. He could also listen someone calling out to him, and saying something inaudible to someone else.
Just how much time did he lose because he felt too tired?
Ruggie didn't like people caring after him, he could do it himself. It was hypocrite of him to think that he could survive all by himself if he wasn't paying attention to everything. How foolish he was, sensing danger at the last minute and giving in.
Another lazy, but this time shaky sound came out of his mouth -- like he attempted to talk, but given his state he was only able to mumble incoherent words.
He'd be back on track in no time. He would become better at this. He would...
But he can't right now.
Give Ruggie Bucchi some time, he'll make a name out of himself. But for now he is only a poor, broke freshman.
#grae writes#ruggie bucchi#twisted wonderland#twst#twst wonderland#disney twst#twst ruggie#twst fanfic#twst fic#disney twisted wonderland#savanaclaw#leona kingscholar
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happy disability pride month! please consider helping me take back my life as a disabled person!
the TL;DR is that for the last 3 months i have had an absolutely soul-sucking miserable minimum wage retail job that, due to the way scheduling works (and the app being broken as fuck) has prevented me from having access to literally any of the life-saving mental health/medical care i need as a disabled person.
my disability is best managed through a combination of medication, therapy, and casework-- not a single one of which i have had since march! :) contextually, up until i got this job, i took three daily medications and had casework once a week and therapy once or sometimes twice a week. these services are offered at an affordable cost to me through a local organization that is threatening to close my case due to lack of participation.
ill make another, more detailed post later with some of the services i can offer for money (i draw! i code! i write!) but until then here is a code you can scan if you have a few dollars to spare:
there are more details beneath the cut (idk about you guys but im kinda nosy so i wrote some more stuff in case anyone else is also nosy) but thats the gist of it. you can also always ask for details. i dont have a therapist right now so it might feel good to say things.
my plan is as follows: i would like to take the month of july more or less "off" from work to get my affairs in order, starting with scheduling appointments for therapy and casework and getting back on my meds. i am actively looking for a job, but i would like the ability to be somewhat picky instead of applying everywhere i think might have me for the sake of having money coming in to pay rent.
for the last two years i have made less than $800/mo and i can survive on roughly $600-$650 a month. my july rent ($550) is paid and my august rent (at least $500) is most likely also squared away, through a combination of some cash i was hoarding, a previous donation, my last expected paychecks from my current job, and my brother generously offering to cover whatever is left over. the extra $100ish is for roughly a months supply of the food that is part of my daily routine that i get cranky without (i have tea every morning, for instance.)
i have a fantastic roommate who is not struggling as much financially who will do everything in her power to make sure i have access to staple foods (rice, eggs, etc) so i really just need to buy the things only i consume (kimchi, milk, etc.) there is a food bank i go to, so i am not worried about food, but i can only go to it once per month. we have a barter system where i trade her the things i dont want from the food bank and she buys me things i will eat; alternatively, i sometimes give her things i get from the food bank (eg meat) that she turns into meals for both of us.
i live independently/"alone" with roommates and do not have support from my family pretty much at all. they have never been particularly useful for emotional support and have openly denied me financial support since i was a teenager. moving in with them/getting help from them/talking to them is not an option.
i have emailed my caseworker at the mental health organization i work with as well as my caseworker with the disability vocational program i work with to help me find a new job that is "back of house" and requires less customer interaction. i did this over the weekend, so i expect to hear back from them sometime this week. in the meantime, i am searching for jobs on my own in places like indeed, jobhat, careerbuilder, etc. as well as checking company websites of places like chain grocery stores to see what is available in my area.
my job pool is a bit limited due to the fact that i cannot drive (due to both my disability and the medication im supposed to be taking for it) but i am very well-versed at taking the bus, which is free. getting to and from work is not a concern for me; it is being able to do the job without being driven to the edge of a mental breakdown that is the problem.
the disability vocational program is my ticket out of poverty! last month i had a follow-up evaluation (i had to call out of work for it, but frankly i was at the end of my rope then too) where they approved my career goals as a web developer and we are in the process of deciding what my next steps are! the program will likely (depending on what route i take) help pay for vocational training, too, but i obviously have to pay rent while in training. which i think i can do if i have a job that doesnt make me want to die.
i have some other things that make my life a bit harder (im mixed race, i am nonbinary + gay, etc) but i would say those things dont really impact my ability to get a job as much as the disability does LOL which is why i did not feature them prominently in this post. like, the reason i cant get a job isnt because people dont want to hire me because i have blue hair and pronouns, its because im obviously disabled.
if you have any other questions, no matter how intrusive you think they might be, feel free to send a DM or an ask, and i will try to answer.
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