#dont read this i just gotta vent

[hai-nae]

meant to post these sketches a few days ago? a week? but, well, life.

[tetzoro]

i don’t think i’ve talked about it much on this blog because tbh it’s a really difficult thing for me to talk about in general but a year ago today, i lost my baby kitty zelda and i miss her so very much ᰔ

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Hngnngng I think. I think we're good,

My funds for the month are drained but Alfie still has some as well as something like 1k on credit cards and. I know that's something that needs to be paid back but its so much wiggle room that I'm not used to

Like it's honestly frying my brain a little that I don't need to be constantly thinking about money this month. I still am ofc lmao but its...christ, I've been living so long with the certainty that I cannot afford my own existence. I literally do not know how to process the possibility that I'm covered

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[gay-fordeath]

.

[batshikns]

REALLY LONG vent under cut(essay kinda long) ⬇️ cw: horrible self care - do not negatively treat yourself the way i do‼️‼️ be healthy‼️‼️

When I went to my aunt and uncle's house, I felt... Good. I felt okay. And I usually feel okay. But when I got back home, I realized just much more okay I was doing at my aunt's. I felt good. I changed my clothes every day, underwear and all. To be completely honest, I usually don't do that. I actually pumped myself up for a shower(i think i can thank charli for teaching me to pump myself up for that kinda thing). I may have stayed down in the basement more of the time, but more because my aunt and uncle were at work. Who knows how much more time I would've spent outside my space and with other people if I just... Stayed there. I love my mom and my dad, but... I felt like a person at my aunt's. Not a depressed kid who doesn't go outside. My aunt, nor my uncle, expected much out of me. They didn't ridicule me for spending time alone. They didn't push me into taking a shower other than a couple of reminders of how cool the downstairs shower was(and it was really cool). There was no yelling. There were no older siblings to be loud. It was just me, them, and their dog. tbf, i think i was just in My Environment, so I re-learned how to treat myself better. To treat myself better than I have in all my life. ... how tf do i tell my parents and my aunt and uncle this and that I wanna move in with my aunt and uncle sometime in near distant future? (with either paying rent or helping make dinner and wash dishes and so on)

[hattiestgal]

Sitting in a right proper brain funk at the moment. Whole lotta junk bouncin' around up there, all garbled like. I guess I'm sorta bouncing around like... how blurry morality is and fighting a tough fight against what my brain feels so badly I should be ashamed of, but I'm kinda just in a blur right now. It's all faded. Maybe it'll come back tomorrow, who knows. I should sleep off this fog though.

Tomorrow'll be nice either way, just gotta make sure not to push myself. I've got my big halloween art comin' and it's gonna be a good one.

[sharkdays]

i need to calm down

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.

I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

its just not fair that my mom has to be completely dependent on me 100% when im barely 20 years old

[sweetheart-dot-jpeg]

witchtok. beloathed.

[scarletiswailing347]

you can really tell i mellowed out about zam cause i draw him about as much as i do my other blorbos now aka never lol jk

[bugdogg]

making a sad lil comic and feeling bad for the characters involved, i am stupid tired now so ill finish it tomorrow. a heads up ig, sad bs incoming (pic above relateddddd, idc about spoiling stuff its funn)

[themagnificentmx]

.

[glitchinginhyperfixis]

i’m gonna be honest about something there are still things i’m afraid to post about on here bc i’m always worried about what other people think of me. so if i suddenly start rbing shit from a fandom you wouldn’t expect or a ship you don’t like, please be prepared. i’m sorry but i’m trying to practice self-care <33

[izzy-b-hands]

slept for shit, woke up an hour ago to untagged o ur f l ag discourse all over my dash, spent the last hour typing up a frustrated post abt wanting to be heard in regards to this shit and seeing it untagged on my dash and other Fears and Frustrations with this fandom

only to throw it in my drafts bc who actually is gonna care if my opinion isn't the current Most Popular Fandom Opinion lmao, i know how this goes, but i couldn't stop myself from typing it all up anyway. even tagged the fucker with everything for filtering, and made sure those tags were past the five first tracked tags so it shouldn't show up in too many places, threw it under a cut, turned off reblogs so it wouldn't bug folks more than once

and im still too afraid to post it lmaooo what the entire FUCK is wrong with me. I havent been this afraid of posting in a fandom since like. The Hobbit fandom and if u were there in any capacity u Know how mean ppl got over the most random shit lol