#apostake

[xmo-rmon]

“Inseminary”

or “Lockpick to the Priesthood” or “Come Unto Me” or “Pearl Necklace of Great Price” or “Faith is Like a Little Seed”

Authentic stolen holy text, Near Clear silicone, gold pigment.

I went to the mormon church’s website, looked up their views on homosexuality, noted the scriptures they referenced, ripped them by hand out of the bible and book of mormon I stole from their chapel, and then mixed them into a silicone dildo of my own design like confetti. A dildo which will of course be used for homosexual purposes (with non-lubricated condoms and water based lube, for safety).

I’ve wanted to try dildo making for literally over a decade. I don’t have any fancy equipment like a 3D printer or a vacuum chamber, I made the sculpt by hand, and I fucked up a lot along the way, but all that being said I’m proud of what I was able to accomplish and I learned a lot. I put in more gold than I meant to, but honestly, it was meant to represent scripture’s gilded edges, and as it turned out, it looks really beautiful or quite filthy depending on the lighting, which feels entirely appropriate for scripture.

It was hard to read all of those verses. But as I tore them up I bathed them in the intention to take words that were meant to inflict queer pain wherever they go, and say “Actually, I pull those words out when I want some queer pleasure.” Build joy where they want you to have it the least.

Read about/donate to the Timpanogos tribe, for whom brigham young sent out an “extermination order”

LandBack

[nobetafortomorrowedie]

It really bothers me when people describe the way I grew up as "sheltered" when in reality I was not being sheltered or protected. I was intentionally confused. I was kept in the dark. My reality was being controlled.

[parkakeet]

this unlocked some memories omg

[godsporncollection]

My boyfriend did a thing

[growingupmormon]

My sister: it’s so weird that Mormons can just spot another Mormon out in the wild even those who’ve left. Like in high school we got clocked as Mormon and we could tell who was too.

It’s essentially social isolation, you mirror the behaviors of those around you growing up, if everyone around you isolates themselves from the outside world then you’re all gonna start to be a little weird to the outside world making it harder to leave, it’s subtle mannerisms we learned for sure

It’s that and Mormon Face!

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Here's your biannual reminder to check in on your exmo moots and queerstake moots cause general conference is coming up (i believe it's this weekend?). Be extra gentle with them rn, they're probably going through a lot of emotions.

[exmo-memes]

Every time I think I've sufficiently covered it, I remember something else that's just unhinged

[filius-perditionis]

its really fucked up that mormons send out young men (barely even adults) to be as annoying as possible so that they get yelled at to solidify the churches doctrine of "you cant trust anyone outside of the church. if you leave you will never be happy" and call it a mission

[fearlessapostate]

The fact that mormons call the people who excommunicate you the 'court of love' is the most Orwellian shit ever jfc

[xmo-rmon]

“Eternal or Nothing”

I mean the more literal question is right there - can I wager 10% of my life’s income? Sure, if it’s in the motherfucking casino of zion.

Read about/Donate to the Timpanogos tribe, for whom brigham young sent out an “extermination order”

LandBack

[nobetafortomorrowedie]

Weird that as someone leaving a religious organization I really understand why people join religious organizations. Like. Finding a group of friendly people with which to socialize is hard.

[parkakeet]

idk but when I was a kid I would read constantly as a form of escapism and then when I was finally yanked from my fantasy world and into the real one I had dissociated so hard that there was a cognitive dissonance that made me try to rationalize that the real world was wrong and that I belonged in the fantasy world.

my parents would take away my book and put me on a church pew and I would become genuinely distressed because I was trying to remember what fantastical thing was happening to me.

idk, something something cults and not feeling safe in your real life.

[godsporncollection]

Hey, it's conference weekend, which means it's time for some reminders:

You are loved, just the way you are (I know it's been a while since I said it, but yes, I still love you).

The church is not true.

The Bible actually says some pretty specific things about man speaking for god.

You are not broken or lost.

You will get out.

I won't be watching because my husband works over the weekends and I don't want my toddler hearing this shit, but please don't hesitate to reach out if you need to vent or ask questions or even if you just want a distraction.

[growingupmormon]

When someone finds out I was raised Mormon and their response is an excited

“omg, can I ask you some questions?!”

Special interest info dump imminent

[peppermint-rat]

"XMO Heart Attack"

Glued inside the stall door of a bathroom in a mormon chapel. "Praise to the man" is one of the most disgusting hymns to me. It was a real struggle to keep it in my head long enough to write this. I know saying you were literally shaking is kind of an eye roll on here (for good reason) but I can honestly say I was trembling with rage as I composed this. So cathartic to finally, finally do something with that anger.

Timpanogos tribe's website where you can learn more and donate

LandBack

Poem in plain text under the cut

Praise to the man who wrote Doctrine & Covenants!

Verse 59, Section 132

Nothing is sinful if men do it in God's name

Thank Joe for that, or the mormons would be doomed

Praise to our Brigham, who ordered "EXTERMINATION!"

A series of massacres we call the "Black Hawk War"

Those poor Timpanogos, they were killed by the thousands

But our grand, spacious building was built upon the gore

The mormon militia carved the heads from their victims

For two weeks, the captives were forced to watch them rot

Those women and children were then sold into slavery

They were Lamanites; they deserved what they got

Your children sing of "Lamanites", just as I did

So don't try to tell me it's different today

Say that your prophet told you, "Murder your brother"

Could you, a good mormon, really disobey?

Packer and Oaks said, "Sometimes truth is not useful"

What useful lies have they told you instead?

Pulled threads cannot unravel truth, so I ask thee

Why have they made it a sin to pull their thread?

This made you uncomfortable, and thus, must be evil

A test of your faith, I remember, yes, I know

But Jesus will want to know why you're cool with murder

He won't be impressed when you say, "Have you met Joe?"

"Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of Heaven"?

The church must atone for the blood on stolen land!

Wake up, the world will see your buried injustice;

Millions SHALL KNOW "Brother Joseph" again!

[exmo-memes]

If there are any active members stalking this blog for whatever reason, I beg of you to actually fucking LISTEN to queer people when it comes to this.

"Not all Mormons are homophobic!" Well, your leaders are and they're the ones calling the shots. And that's still where tithing money is going. People like Oaks and Holland are the ones speaking for your church right now. Those are your leaders.

"The church is perfect! The people aren't" I'm sorry, if the prophet, who is divinely chosen, has a DIRECT line to god, isn't executing God's will the way he wants, wouldn't that mean God's not perfect for choosing someone who won't follow him? And if the prophet, god's literal mouth piece, isn't running the church the way God wants, doesn't that make the church false?

"I still think it's a sin, but I don't hate gay/trans people" Bestie, idk how to tell you this, but if you think someone is going to hell for actively loving another consenting age appropriate person or being their true self and that doesn't outrage you, you do in fact hate gay/trans people. If you think it's a sin to live as your most authentic self (in a way that's not even hurting anyone), then you do hate gay/trans people

"Mormons can be gay, they just can't do gay" Imagine being married to someone you're not in love with or attracted to and knowing you never will be. Imagine knowing you'll never have a happy, fulfilling relationship (assuming that's something you want). Wouldn't that make you sad? Wouldn't it feel like a huge part of your life is incomplete?